“I’m sorry,” Brian repeated, his tone serious and deliberate. “For a lot of things over the last two days. I… I didn’t know what to do with what happened before I left Pittsburgh, and I wasn’t ready to talk.” He paused, sighing. “And I don’t know how to lie to you. I haven’t for a long time, and you know that. So sometimes, it’s easier to piss you off, so you’ll leave me alone until I find enough of my remaining ball to face you -- as irrational as I know that sounds.”

“Or,” Justin said, a small smile playing on his lips, “you could say, ‘Hey Justin, I’ve got something on my mind that I’m not ready to talk about, and I need a little space.’” He gave his husband a meaningful look before continuing. “Brian, I know what you’re doing when you do it now… But what I don’t understand is why, almost two decades into our relationship, you still think the solution to anything is to push me away -- if for no reason other than it won’t fucking work.”

***

Brian gets some unexpected and difficult news and turns to his usual coping strategies. Justin knows better.

The funny flipside of Brian's Season 4 line, "Of all the times we've fucked -- and by now it has to be well into the quadruple digits -- that has to rank in the top five." Five times when things didn't quite go as planned...

Standalone one-shot. PWP.

No one had been more shocked than Brian when Melanie, of all people, had suggested that, since she didn't really celebrate Christmas, but J.R. was heading to Pittsburgh to be with her dads, perhaps Brian and Justin would rather come to Toronto to have a more subdued celebration with Lindsay and Gus.

"Lindsay never really gets to enjoy the decorations she puts up, since we're rushing around and then traveling during this time," Mel had explained. "I just thought it would be nice if you and Justin wanted to come to our place instead… You know, let Linds and Gus go all out, and then have a nice quiet holiday at home." 

"Quiet" was all Brian needed to hear before he agreed. 

***

Brian and Justin travel to Toronto to spend Christmas with a small part of their chosen family.

Gus’ lips rolled inward, a carbon copy of Brian’s signature contemplative look. “I just like…” he sighed again, more heavily this time. “I just wish I could forget about this for, like, an hour or something.” 

Brian made a small noise of realization that made Justin look toward him, and as soon as he registered the intention on his husband’s face, he moved closer to Brian and hissed, “No. Brian, you can’t.” 

Brian gave Justin his most charming smile and said, “Oh, but I can!”

***

A heartbroken Gus spends a weekend in New York with Brian and Justin. In an effort to help his son, Brian turns to a tried-and-true method.

After a motorbike accident, Brian Kinney, a 30-year-old successful ad executive and a motorcycle rider, suffers a near fatal head injury.

Once a rising star of the advertising circuit and a prominent figure in Pittsburgh's gay night, Brian is discharged from the hospital and admitted into a rehabilitation facility.  While in rehab Brian meets staff member Justin Taylor, a young therapist who's a neuro-injury survivor himself unbeknownst to Brian.  With Justin's guidance, Brian embarks on journey of self discovery that will reveal more than he ever expected to learn.

“Sonny Boy--” Brian began, intentionally ignoring Justin’s question.

“--You had no idea why she sent me down,” Gus interrupted, his words more of a statement.

Brian shook his head. “Your mother neglected to inform me of her intentions.”

***

Lindsay has ulterior motives when she sends Gus for an unscheduled weekend visit with Brian and Justin.

This was the same, only different.

This time, his filters were firmly in place, because Justin knew that kicking, punching, and destroying wasn’t going to fix this. It wasn’t going to take away the fact that his lover had cancer.

This story was written in July 2018.

He could tell Michael that he loved him. Always had, always will. Brian wasn’t sure why saying “I love you” to Michael was so easy -- why it was different. Why the words flowed off his tongue with Michael but felt stuck in his throat with Justin.

********************

This is a song fic inspired by Lifehouse's song "Yesterday's Son." It's gap filler, and a peek inside Brian Kinney's head through several key story arcs in the course of the show's five seasons. It's the first story I wrote for the QAF fandom in July 2018.

On December 31th, Brian Kinney, a successful ad man, and his artist partner, Justin Taylor, stay at their country house to ring in the New Year with the entire 'gang' of friends and extended family. On New Year's morning, they all realize they can’t return to the city due to heavy snow.  During that time Brian, Justin, and their friends and family all learn more about their past than they could ever have imagined.

Three Days before Thanksgiving Claire Kinney looks back on her life as things go downhill fast for her. She reluctantly arrives at her childhood home to join her mother Joan Kinney for Thanksgiving dinner.  Two unexpected guests who come to dinner change everything for Claire and the rest of the family.

Brian asked Justin a very important question when the "Changed" series concluded. What will his answer be? Where will they go from here?

Brian's perspective of saying goodbye to Justin.

Spoiler warning for ALL of Queer as Folk US right up to the very end.

Daphne catches Brian on one of his nights playing vigil at Justin's hospital door. Feelings are revealed.

Using the excuse of new accounts, Brian pays Justin a surprise visit on Valentine's Day. Romance is not dead and Brian shows Justin he is capable of romantic gestures.

The seventh part of Ask and You Shall Get series. Brian shows Justin a new kink, by showing him how arousing it is to have a full bladder. BDSM themed. Can be read as a stand-alone.

Justin comes back home in the middle of the night with what looks like a mere cold. Brian turns all protective, trying to do his best to make his partner feel better. Written for Fandom for Mental Health.

Justin moves to New York. He runs into an old acquaintance of Brian's, who is going to play a big role in their relationship, testing its strength. It's one of the most emotional stories I've written so far.

When same sex marriages are legalized in Pennsylvania, Michael and Ben decide to tie the knot again. Their Best Men are Justin and Brian. The catch? They haven't talked to each other for almost ten years, since Justin's departure to New York City. Can they find love again? ONE SHOT

Sweet dreams are made of these. Some of them want to use you. Some of them want to get used by you. Some of them want to abuse you. Some of them want to be abused. Gapfiller for The Dangers of Sex and Drugs (214)

A few glimpses over the seasons and how Justin met Brian's cleaning lady. Li Jing is my original character.

Brian decides to keep the rings.

Brian teaches Justin about Babylon's backroom.  Set during Season One.

Justin comes home horny as all heck after his first taste of vigilantism.

Justin is tired of his and Brian's "relationship." It seems Brian is merely experimenting with the concept of love - and that he, Justin, has been unwillingly cast in the role of a canary in a coal mine to test Brian's ability to be part of a couple. Meanwhile Brian is struggling with the realization that buying Justin stuff like flowers and taking him on a trip to Vermont doesn't mean he's selling-out to the straight world. Will Brian figure it all out before Justin slips through his fingers? Canon compliant. The story is complete and has six chapters.

A love story told in pics…

Banner (and beta) by the ever wonderful such_a_steph

The tree's caught on fire, there's mouse in the house and an invasion from the great white north - will Justin and Brian survive?

banner by such_a_steph

Dare Challenge fic.

Gapfiller for Ep. 407:

Brian knows he may have cancer, but has not yet told anyone. At Emmett’s suggestion, Justin brings two men to the loft in order to ‘spice things up’, believing his sexual relationship with Brian is merely in a slump. But Brian leaves abruptly when he finds the men in the loft, saying he ‘left something at the office’. This story is set when he returns to the loft several hours later.

Different Scenarios of Brian voicing his love for Justin prior to 5x10

Disclaimer: I DO NOT own the characters of Queer as Folk! They belong to Showtime and Cowlip. No infringement intended, entertainment purposes only!

"Gay kids are everywhere."

I'm marking this story as complete, but hope to come back later and spend more time with the boys.

This is my attempt at rationalizing Chris Hobbs' actions in the Season 1 Finale, wherein he bashes Justin after the Senior Prom. Not that I think there is any justification whatsoever for his actions.

Brian realizes that Justin is not just a trick. 

Brian's thoughts as he's heading to St. James with Justin in the Jeep after their first night together.  Based on Episode 101.


Thanks to my wonderful Beta Predec2 the translation and for the beautiful banner.

Someone is watching Justin, and feeling regret. Set in Season 3

Brian after the Prom, after Justin's bashing. What did he suffer through? Set between seasons 1 and 2.

You'd think it was a Christmas fic wouldn't you? If that's what you're looking for - best to just move on - ‘cause there is no Santa here...

...instead, what we really have is a series of snippets in which our favorite QAF characters happen to overhear the boys in the throes of passion - and can hardly believe their ears...

Some canon - some definitely not - some that could be - with timelines that work  for this story - all showing a ‘depth of love' that is only Brian/Justin - and for me, will always be!

A gapfiller for episode 511. Justin's reflections on the first night in Britin.

Justin's thoughts on his and Brian's reunion in episode 3x08.

A series of missing moments that focus on Justin's bashing, beginning with post 1.22 and into mid season two.

Brian announces he’s leaving town and Libery Avenue for a great job opportunity in New York. While helping him pack, Justin asks “What about me?” This story emphasizes Justin’s way of dealing with Brian's decisions and possibly someone else that lands unexpected in his life, while he’s spending time with Daphne in sunny Florida, trying to forget…proving himself and others just how much he's wise for his age...

It's a Brian & Justin story with overcoming obstacles for both characters.  It's my way of expanding the storyline between Brian's job offer and prom night events, as if someone from the producers team asked me if I wanted to write a special episode :)

[Post 1.22 Gap-Filler] He'll later find out that it took five minutes, forty-six seconds for the ambulance to arrive, but for Brian it felt like a lifetime. 

With open arms, reviews are welcomed, greatly appreciated and promptly answered!! (even if in the form of constructive criticism)

(Could be considered gap-filler 3.07-3.08) Justin POV during his and Ethan's break-up scene then Daphne's POV when Justin shows up at her place afterward. Slight? Ethan bashing. Okay, a LOT Ethan bashing.

With open arms, reviews are welcomed, greatly appreciated and promptly answered!! (even if in the form of constructive criticism)

The story told from both Brian and Justin's POV during the “King of Babylon” contest and through to the diner conversation the next morning, so obviously spoilers for S1ep20.

But very hot... in a positive, life-affirming way! :) 

So I tried to do the drabbles... and it worked, but my mind just couldn't let it go at that... my muse just had to finish the story. Heaven forbid he leave it as just a drabble... then again... after you read it, I think you'll agree it's the perfect heat to any Summer day. 

This can be read as a stand-alone... but it's technically the sequel to my Summer Drabbles.

Brian has found his weakness: Justin Taylor. Reference to episode 215. Brian's POV. Interal Monologue. R&R.

Thank you to foreverbm on LJ for the banner!

Song-fic that's kind of PWP, well definitely P, kind of WP .

Schmoopy, fluffy, romantic Brian; he's very high and thinking of his Sunshine. When Justin comes home it becomes a hot, steamy romp in the proverbial hay.

Post-series. Brian POV.

As it is usually my style to write smut, I have followed my own tradition well, but I must warn you that there might be references to a couple of intimate acts that some readers might find offensive or gross. However, if you're here and have read other B/J stories, it shouldn't be too shocking.

So I’ve heard Speechless by Lady Gaga many times and I absolutely love the song, well all songs by Gaga, but that’s beside the point.

One day my muse (who happens to be Brian Kinney, but occasionally Justin will make his opinion known) put this in my mind and wouldn’t leave me alone until I wrote it. He just keeps nagging me until I write down every thought going through my mind. Some days he’s quiet, other days there are too many thoughts and I can’t write, but for this story we were very much in agreement. 

I've been wanting to write a B/J story inspired by Gaga for a while, but nothing came to mind... then I heard this one day and it clicked, Brian agreed and here is what we came up with. Enjoy and R&R, if you would be so kind. 

Sometimes, Justin thinks that maybe, somewhere along the way, Brian became one of those pieces of the normal world that he's infected, cut out and chained to his little fucked-up world.

He doesn't know if it's a nightmare or a fantasy. 

Written for the Tenth Anniversary of the first airing of QaF on America television: December 3rd, 2000.

Brian and Justin take a photograph for their tenth anniversary invitations.

Mr. Kinney ponders meaningful milestones in a series of one-shots. An echoed retelling invoiced through Brian's thoughts. If Brian kept a Journal it might read something like this...

Hello folks. Well, this time around I had an inspiration late on a Saturday night. By Sunday night it was written. I don't know where the thought came from, although I usually do. I guess my Muse was feeling frisky.

In this short story, we pick up the scene in the final episode of QAF where Brian is laying in his lonely bed after Justin has left for the airport. This is my version of what happened from that moment on. Warning...about 2/3 of the way in you are going to be jolted. Don't give up. Remember who is writing this and how I like my stories to end. LOL! Now, how about taking a long trip down memory lane with me. Hope you enjoy the journey.

Whoops!  I forgot to thank my dear friend, Judy for her beta skills and my beloved Granddaughter, Marika for the inspiring banner.  You girls are a blessing to me.

Starts from the infamous office reunification scene and goes through the following morning. Enjoy! :)

Basically, this is an extended "What If" about Hunter moving in with Justin when he leaves Michael and Ben's and when Justin leaves Brian. Most of the story is probably going to be told from Hunter's point of view, although parts will also be from Justin's. Emmett will also play into the mix as a kind of friend/mentor figure.

I'm pretty sure all the original readers have abadoned this story, but my goal is to finish this summer!

A reviewer suggested the title, and I wanted to say thank you. "A gay couple who one is HIV+ and the other HIV - are called a magetic couple in the gay world. Like a positive and negative magnet."-JT Secrets

My dear friends, today is the second anniversary of the posting of my very first story. I can hardly believe I've been doing this for two whole years, but they have been among my happiest ever. The fact that so many of you have been so kind to me and told me you enjoyed my work is the icing on the cake and I will be forever grateful. In honor of your support, I offer you a solution to the mishap the producers of QAF called Season 5. This is my version of what caused the Season. It is a What If. I hope you will enjoy it. I promise the ending will be nothing like our last scene during the actual show. LOL!

Emmett can't believe his eyes.

Banner by SILENTLYWRECKED from LJ.

Betaed by POSITIVE_PAT from LJ.

Justin, a famous artist from NYC meets Pittsburgh's Most Eligible Gay Bachelor, Brian Kinney. Justin falls head over heels and swears he'll do anything to make Brian madly, and deeply in love with him...

Fanfics written in Brian's POV.

banner by Lexi

No excuses, no apologies, no regrets. Brian Kinney is always honest about himself - well, most of the time. There's one little secret nobody knows about yet - hidden away in a dark corner of his loft. What will happen when it gets in the wrong hands?

This is a gap filler for 1.09/1.10 with some hotness included ;)

Brian relives that terrible period when Justin is released from the hospital and yet can't bear to be touched by anyone.   All that changes on that fateful day when both men are healed by the touch of love. 

SYNOPIS: Tick tick. Justin is leaving for NYC...

A reflection on Justin's hair in Season 3.

Justin is turning 30, but he's not the one upset about it.

Jennifer reflects on the stuff brian/justin have gone through. It's written from Jennifer's POV but the focus is about brian and justin :)