Of all the things / I've believed in / I just want to Get it over with / Tears form behind my eyes But I do not cry / Counting the days That pass me by / I've been searching Deep down in my soul / Words that I'm hearing Are starting to get old / It feels like I'm starting all over again The last three years / Were just pretend -- Goodbye to You – Michelle Branch Notes: Must read the previous parts in order to understand this fic. Justin sat at the desk that had been placed in his living room, trying to get up the courage to make some phone calls. Brian had moved the desk from its upstairs location to a section of the living room, in order for Justin to be able to use it. Brian had made every attempt to make life as easy for Justin as possible, and Justin was grateful. Brian knew that with the full-leg cast that he had on, it would be difficult to get up the stairs. Hell, it was difficult for Justin to get around period. Since he had gotten out of the hospital, Justin had tried to get back to life, like nothing was wrong. Unfortunately that was no longer an option. He was quickly discovering that his life would never be the same. He was feeling trapped in his own home, unable to do what he wanted. Brian was always around, unless he was at work, and Justin was almost ready to tell Brian to get out, and leave him alone for a while. Brian wasn’t hovering, or babying him, it was just that Justin felt like he was holding Brian back in some way – not that Brian would see it that way, but it was the way that Justin was feeling. Since Brian was at work, Justin decided that it was time to contact everyone in Pittsburgh. He had already called his mother, Daphne, and Emmett, and now he was trying to decide whom he would call next, if anyone. Emmett had told him how the others had been disappointed that he had refused to see them while he was in the hospital, and that had angered him. He had told Emmett that he had reasons for not wanting to see them, and he wanted to know what right they had to be upset with him. He’s the one who was fucking crippled, not them. He knew that he should call them, but he wasn’t sure if he could keep his anger in check long enough. Justin’s emotions had been running wild these past couple of months, ever since he woke up in the hospital. ‘Hell ever since last year,’ Justin cursed. Justin closed his eyes, and tried the breathing techniques that Marsha had taught him. Once he felt calm enough, Justin picked up the phone and dialed the number of one of the ones who he knew would be easy. He heard the phone pick up, and smiled. “Hello.” “Lindsey? It’s Justin.” “Justin? It’s good to hear from you. Brian says that you’re home now?” Lindsey said, making it sound like a question. Justin could tell that she was trying not to sound sad, or show pity. “Yeah, got home last week. The doctor said that I should be able to return to work full-time next week. So it’s going okay, I guess. A little strange, different, but okay. How’s Gus doing?” “Gus is fine. Of course he misses his playmates, but Mel and I thought that it would be good to visit you guys in a couple of months,” Lindsey stated. Justin closed his eyes, willing his emotions back into place. He had been working hard to try and keep them in check, and not let a little word or comment affect him, but it wasn’t easy. Lindsey’s comment began a seed of anger within him, almost forcing him to yell at them to not pity him, that he was fine. Luckily he was able to still that emotion for the moment. “We’ll talk about it. I’m not sure I’m ready for that. Maybe some day, but right now. . . I don’t know.” “It’s okay, whenever you’re ready. We don’t want to force you into anything that you don’t want to do, Justin. That’s not what we are trying to do. I hope you understand that,” he heard her explain. He was grateful that it was Lindsey telling him this, ‘cause he knew if anyone else had tried to say the same thing he would’ve lost it. “We’re there if you need us. Okay?” “I know, it’s just that things right now are a little . . . difficult I guess,” Justin tried to explain. “It’s just that I had heard how some people were upset that I didn’t see them when they were here. I mean, fuck, what does everyone expect from me?” “Justin, I can’t talk for anyone else here, but not all of us think that.” Justin closed his eyes, listening to what Lindsey had to say. He could feel his emotions slip away from him, and he hated it. He hated losing control, but he couldn’t believe all the shit that was going on. “Know that Mel, and I understand. As much as we can understand, anyway. When you’re ready, we’ll be there, okay?” “Okay, thanks. Look I better go, I have a lot to do before Brian comes home,” he lied. In truth, he just wanted to hang up before he lost it and blew up at one of the people who was actually trying to understand where he was coming from. “Call us if you need anything, okay?” “Yeah, I will. Thanks,” Justin said as he hung up the phone. He hated it. He hated losing control. Justin knew that there would be no way that he could call anyone else. No way he would be able to control his anger long enough to talk to them. Justin opened the drawer to his left, and pulled out the medication for his headaches. He knew that Brian hated it when he took them when Brian wasn’t there, but Justin didn’t care at that moment. He felt a headache coming on, and Brian could just be mad at him. He didn’t care anymore. ‘Fuck ‘em,’ he thought as he swallowed the pill dry. Justin reached over to the control unit of his wheelchair and began to move toward the bedroom. He knew from experience that he would start to feel tired, and he decided that it would be best to already be in bed before the drugs kicked into his system. His therapist had taught him how to move from the chair to other pieces of furniture, such as the bed or couch, without using his right hand too much, and without a lot of pain. He moved the chair as close to the bed as he could, then lifted himself onto the bed, biting his lip from the pain in his leg, and weakness of his hand. ‘Fuck, I hate this shit,’ he cursed. Once settled on the bed, Justin closed his eyes, hoping for sleep. ************* Brian walked into the town home, and threw his coat into the small den. He walked through the hallway into the main area of the home, and looked around. He didn’t see Justin anywhere, so he decided to check in the bedroom. Brian was worried that Justin was still tired all the time, but he knew that if he mentioned anything, Justin would just get upset. Justin had enough on his plate and Brian didn’t want to add anymore to it. He knew that Justin had hoped that things could return to normal when he got home, but the realization that things would never be the same was frustrating to the young artist. Brian continued to try and make Justin feel better, but he knew that most of the time it was a lost cause. Justin had so many issues that he was dealing with that Brian didn’t even know where to begin. He didn’t even know everything that was going on. He knew that it was time for them to talk about what had been touched upon the night that Justin had left. They needed to talk about what happened those last couple of months that Justin was in Pittsburgh. If Brian was going to help Justin, he needed answers. He needed to know. Brian walked into the bedroom and looked down at the sleeping form on the bed. As quietly as he could, Brian stripped his shirt off so that he was only in his jeans, and crawled into bed with Justin. He noticed Justin stir and open his eyes slightly. “Hey,” he said as he brushed some loose hair from Justin’s forehead. ”Hey. What are you doing home so early?” Justin asked as he stretched his sore muscles. Brian smiled down at Justin, and glanced over at the clock. Justin turned slightly and read the display, turning back around and buried his head in the pillows. “Oh guess it’s not really early. You hungry?” Brian watched as Justin sat up in the bed, and moved over to his wheelchair. Brian could see the pain etched in the young man’s face as he moved from the bed to the chair, but he stayed where he was. If Justin needed help, he would ask him. The last thing that Brian wanted was to make Justin feel pressured, and weak. “Why don’t we just order take-out?” Brian asked. Brian could see the little look that Justin had given him, and he knew he had to explain. Brian knew that look – the ‘I can do it. Don’t treat me like an invalid’ look. “I’m just saying that I’m hungry now. Not an hour from now.” Justin just shook his head, and Brian knew that Justin had an idea of the real reason. In truth, Brian had tried to do everything to make things easier for Justin. Of course he had tried to be discreet, but knew that Justin realized what was going on. “Why don’t you order, while I try and get some of this work done that I brought home?” Justin asked. Brian watched Justin maneuver the chair out of the room, and Brian could only close his eyes. He hated to see Justin in pain, and he knew that the young man was experiencing more than his fair share of it the past year and a half. He also knew that Justin was trying to put on a brave front. Justin didn’t want anyone’s pity, and he was trying to show people that his disabilities didn’t mean anything, and that they didn’t bother him. Brian however, knew differently. He had learned Justin’s subtle signs – how Justin would flex his right hand to try and get the circulation back into it, the pain in Justin’s eyes when his leg moved in the slightest, or how his eyes would tightly close trying to ward off a headache. Brian also noticed how Justin would always change the subject when talks would lead to something personal, whether it was something about the past, or what he was feeling now. Justin was building a wall around himself, and Brian knew he had to get past that wall, and soon, before he lost Justin forever. Brian walked out of the bedroom, and headed into the main living room. He immediately spotted Justin sitting at his desk with a letter opener in his hand, glancing at the bills that had arrived. “Fuck, do you believe this shit? I can’t believe how much that time in the hospital costs. Fuck! How the hell did my mom pay for it? I mean I know that I have good insurance, but . . . Fuck!” Brain came and sat down next to the young man, and looked at the bill from the anesthesiologist. “Well at least it’s all covered. I wouldn’t worry about it.” “Still, I have to pay some of it. The insurance doesn’t cover all of it, you know,” Justin said looking at Brian. “Fuck it. I’ll worry about it later.” Justin threw the bill down on the corner of his desk with the rest of the bills, and turned to the work that was displayed on his computer. “How was work?” Brian stared at Justin, wondering about the line of questioning, but decided to go along with it for now. “Not too bad. You know how it is.” ”So did you order yet?” Justin asked. Brian knew that there were times that Justin’s mind seemed scrambled. Thoughts didn’t flow right, and he would jump from one thing to the next, and not even know it. Brian had learned to just go along with it, and hope that he could keep up with the topics. “Yeah, it should be here soon.” “Good, I’m actually hungry.” Brian stood and moved away to sit at the bar in the middle of the room, so that he could watch Justin from a distance without being obvious. He pulled out the Wall Street Journal, and started flipping through it, all the while watching Justin out of the corner of his eye. He could see Justin struggle with the pen for the art computer Brian had bought the last time Justin’s hand was damaged. It pained Brian to see Justin so weak, knowing that the younger man felt useless. Brian could hear the occasional curses coming from Justin as he watched Justin’s hand begin to shake uncontrollably, and he saw the lines of frustration begin to form on the young man’s brow. ‘I wish I could make it right, Justin. I wish I could make you better,’ he thought to himself. He felt useless. Justin was in pain and unable to do what he loved, and there was not a damn thing that Brian could do about it. Brian heard the doorbell ring, and watched as Justin finally gave up on his work, obviously frustrated. Brian got up and retrieved the food, and walked back into the dining room. “Food’s here,” Brian said as Justin looked up. They both sat in silence eating, but Brian could see the frustration still etched on Justin’s beautiful face. ‘Maybe I shouldn’t bring this up now,’ he wondered briefly to himself. ‘No, the only way to move on is to get him to open up.’ Brian had been worried about Justin’s withdrawal these past couple of weeks, and he knew that they had to talk, before they ended up where they were before Justin left Pittsburgh. That would require Brian to do something that he never thought he would ever do – talk. He would have to talk about his feelings, and things that for a long time had been buried deep within his psyche. He’d do it, if it would mean that Justin would open up. He needed the old Justin back, and this was the only way he knew to do that. When Justin had finished his food, he went back to his computer to try and work on the bills, and finish reading the mail. Brian cleaned up the kitchen and made his way over to the chair next to Justin. “Justin,” Brian said, trying to get the young man’s attention. When Justin turned to face him, Brian almost changed his mind. Taking a deep breath, Brian steeled his nerves. “We need to talk.” Brian noticed Justin’s eyes widen, and an eyebrow raise. “About?” Brian watched as Justin started tapping the letter opener against his right hand, and Brian tried not to grab the object out of his hand. He knew that Justin suspected what he wanted to talk about and that he didn’t want to. Brian just looked Justin in the eye. “You know what about.” Brian watched as Justin quickly turned away, and tried to move the wheelchair away from Brian. “No.” “Justin,” Brian quietly said. ”I don’t want to talk about it. So drop it.” “Justin, we can’t just drop it. This shit has been sitting here like a fucking elephant.” Brian hoped that he could explain to Justin the need to get things out in the open. He noticed Justin begin to dig the letter opener into his skin, and Brian reached over, grabbed the object, and threw it to the other side of the room. “Now, fucking stop trying to hurt yourself, and get me to change the subject. We’re going to talk.” ”No. Okay, forget about it. It’s in the past, and we can just fucking leave it there. So forget it, I’m not talking about it.” Justin began to get frustrated as he tried to get the chair to move, but Brian was standing in Justin’s way. “Move!” “No, not until we talk about this,” Brian said, standing firm. ”You? You want to talk? Well guess what, I don’t. So move your ass so that I can get ready for bed,” Justin said trying to push past Brian. Brian quickly picked up Justin from the chair and moved him toward the couch. “Put me down! Dammit, Brian.” Brian carefully placed Justin on the couch, and sat down beside him. “Now you can’t get away.” Brian reached over to a very upset Justin, and pulled the young man’s right hand into his own. Small droplets of blood began to stain the pale skin. Brian grabbed the napkin that he had left on the table and placed it over Justin’s hand, hoping to stop the blood. “Why? Why the fuck did you do this,” he cursed. Justin just looked down at his hand confused. Brian could tell that Justin didn’t even know that he had done it, and that frightened Brian even more. “I don’t know. . . I didn’t. . . I don’t know.” Brian reached his hand to raise Justin’s chin so he could look in the other man’s eyes. He could see the confusion in his blue eyes, clouding them. “It’s okay.” “IT’S NOT OKAY! Nothing will ever be okay anymore, Brian. What the fuck did I do?” Justin asked, trying to turn his face from Brian’s grasp. “Justin. . .we need to talk about it.” Brian saw Justin try to deny it, ignore it, but Brian wasn’t going to allow it. “Listen. It’s the only way.” “No,” Justin persisted. He pulled away from Brian and sat back on the couch with his arms crossed defiantly. “Fine, then you’ll listen to me for once.” Brian heard Justin laugh, and shake his head. “Yeah, like you’ve ever been one to talk, Brian. This is a first. Let me get the calendar so we can commemorate it in years to come. Brian Kinney wants to talk,” Justin said cruelly. Brian took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. ‘It’s the head injury. It’s the head injury. He’s not fully in control,’ he kept telling himself. He always started this saying in his head whenever Justin started in on one of his mood swings. Despite the fact that he knew it was from the injury, it still stung. Justin could be cruel when he wanted to be, and lately Brian had taken a lot. “Yeah, well you should. Do you want me to hand you the calendar?” Brian said back at Justin, and watched as the young man just turned to gaze at the back wall. “Alright, there are some things that we need to talk about, Justin. When you left, the night you left . . .you said some things that I think we need to talk about. And I don’t care if you acknowledge me or not, but you will listen.” Brian noted that Justin didn’t acknowledge him at all, only the slight stiffening of Justin’s shoulder showed Brian that he was listening. “Okay. . . Fuck! Now that we’re finally here, I don’t even know what to say.” “Then don’t say anything. Let’s just drop it,” Justin said still looking at the back wall. Brian took a deep breath, and released it slowly. “Okay, you told me that I was always trying to fix you. . .Well I guess I was, in a way. Did you ever think that I did it for the same reasons that you had blackmailed Kip?” Brian saw Justin’s breath catch, and his shoulders stiffen even more. “You blackmailed Kip, to try and help me. . . to save me – my job. Well I was trying to do the same thing. Without your art, you feel incomplete. I know this. You would have never felt right unless you realized that it wasn’t gone – that you could still draw, and have that release. Work is my release, yours is your art. What was I supposed to do? Let you suffer? I cared about you too much for that to happen.” “We should’ve talked, I know that now. I got scared.” Brian saw Justin turn slightly to face Brian, but quickly turn away. “I was scared about what I felt for you. I never had felt about anyone the way that I feel about you. I know this now, but then . . . I was scared and I did what came naturally for me. . .I ran. I ran from my feelings, I ran from you. But I had counted on YOU to talk to me. You were the one who had always kept me on the right path. If I screwed up, you told me. . . and I don’t blame you for not straitening me out that time. I know now why. We both fucked up in that. I should’ve realized then what I do now. I look back on the things we did, and things that I refused to acknowledge then. I now know that it wasn’t you, and I hurt you every time I forced you into it.” “You didn’t force me into anything,” Justin’s quiet voice said. “I did. You thought that if you just did what I wanted that I would love you. You were wrong. . . I was wrong. There are a lot of things, Justin, that I did wrong. Your birthday present for one. . .I knew I should’ve bought those flowers,” Brian said with a small smile. When he caught Justin looking at him, confused, he tried not to get too excited. ‘At least I know he’s listening to me, and not shutting me out.’ “I almost did. I had them in my hands and I almost got them.” “Why didn’t you? If you would’ve just shown me a sign, Brian, I never would’ve left,” Justin stated in a pained voice. “I know that now. . . as I said we both made a lot of mistakes. I should’ve explained to you about the job thing, or hell, come after you once I found out you had already left. But I didn’t. I was angry . . . and hurt. It’s funny how you can look on things now, and see just how stupid you were.” Brian shook his head in disbelief. “I know that you said you were too young to understand, and that Michael had told you that I would never change. But Justin I was the one who was too young . . . emotionally, and Michael . . . Michael didn’t see what I let you see. I had changed. . . I have changed. Reluctantly, but I have. You got me to change – kicking and screaming the entire way. I fought it all the way, but I am ready now.” Brian had to take a deep breath. The last thing he wanted was to push Justin away by talking about starting a relationship again. He had to take things one step at a time, and that would not be taking things slowly. ‘Talk about diving head first into a shallow lake,’ he thought. ‘A very cold, shallow lake.’ He couldn’t breach that subject yet. He couldn’t allow Justin to withdraw from him anymore than this conversation would already make him do. Their ‘relationship’ would have to wait until Justin could trust him again, and that was the only way. Brian could wait – he had to. “I know that you must think that I fucked Mikey, but I didn’t. I swear to you, I didn’t. He was upset about finding out about Ben and me. . .” “Which I blabbed,” Justin said closing his eyes. “He would’ve found out eventually. Ben’s too good of a guy NOT to tell Mikey. Anyway, I went there, told Mikey that if he wanted it . . . he could have it. Fuck, I have never been so thrilled, so pleased to be turned down before. I knew that he wouldn’t do it, but I had to prove it to him.” Brian reached over and lightly touched Justin’s hand, running a finger over the delicate flesh there. “I don’t see Mikey like that, but I had to show him that we were never going to be more than friends. Luckily I didn’t have to follow through with it.” “Would you have?” Justin asked, turning to face Brian. Brian could see the pain in his eyes, and hated for causing Justin more pain. “Would you have fucked him?” Brain leaned his head back on the couch, and reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “I hoped that it wouldn’t come to that.” Brian sat there and knew that his answer wasn’t enough for Justin, and that the young man deserved more. “I don’t know. I’m glad that I didn’t have to find out.” Justin only nodded and turned back to look at the spot on the far wall. “Why didn’t you tell me about Sap?” Brian asked, needing to know. “He didn’t rape you, did he? I mean he didn’t get that far?” Justin just shook his head. “No, at least not physically.” Brian looked at Justin with confusion, begging the boy to continue. “I took a hit off of a joint, and snorted some coke, but I think . . . I mean I was okay until Gary handed me a drink. I’m sure he slipped something into it. I was totally out of it, and he led me back to one of the rooms. I saw . . . one of the other guys was in a sling, and . . . I told Gary that I didn’t want to . . . I felt someone behind me holding me up, ‘cause I couldn’t stand straight anymore. . .I was totally fucked up. . . Anyway, I kept telling him that I didn’t want to, I didn’t want to,” Justin continued to relive that night. Brian closed his eyes, hoping to release the anger that was brewing deep within him. The problem was that he wasn’t sure if he was angry at Justin for putting himself in that danger, or at Sap for doing it. He was shocked to hear a small laugh come from Justin, and Brian immediately looked up at the young man. “When he tried to suck me off, I kneed him in the chin. I got out of there as quickly as I could, and walked home. Of course I heard him yelling at me saying that I chipped his crown, and that I was fired.” Brian shook his head in disbelief. ‘At least he got out of there without anything happening. Thank god for that.’ “You were lucky.” Justin only nodded, and Brian looked at him with a new respect. Justin had been able to get through the haze of the drugs enough to fight back. He could only guess what was in that drink that Sap had given him, and it was amazing that Justin had been able to fight back. “You are so strong,” Brian whispered. He caught Justin’s quick glance in his direction as if to say that he was crazy. “You are, Justin. You are so fucking strong, that you don’t even realize it. You could’ve been seriously hurt, but you fought back. And it’s not the first time that your strength has come out. You stood up to your father, Hobbs, Michael, Deb, . . . me. You are undoubtedly the strongest, bravest person I know.” “I’m not,” Justin began. ”You are. I know you don’t feel it now, Justin, but you are.” Brian moved so that he was sitting on the table in front of Justin, careful not to move the injured leg that was resting on it. Reaching out, he grabbed a hold of Justin’s hand and held it tightly in his own. “You are strong. A whole hell of a lot stronger than me. I know that I haven’t always given you things or said things that you could hold onto, especially in regards to my feelings for you, and for that I’m sorry. I should’ve been more open with you, I should’ve talked to you.” Brian reached up with his other hand, and pulled Justin’s face so that their eyes met. “You have been through a lot of shit these past two years. Your dad . . . the shit that happened at your school, me . . . Hobbs,” Brian felt himself beginning to get choked up with the last thought. Brian watched as Justin’s eyes moved away from Brian’s to look over his shoulder. “Please, don’t.” “I know what happened with your dad, Justin,” Brian gently stated. “He was wrong, in a lot of things. He doesn’t realize that you are still his son. I mean at least my old man never once said that he wanted me, so I can’t say that I understand what you’re going through. I know that it can’t be easy for you. I know it hurts. No matter what my old man did, I did feel pain when he was gone. I didn’t get to know him, really, until the end. But you. . . you have years of wonderful memories. . . I’m sorry. I’m sorry that he’s such an ass to NOT see what a wonderful person you are. Some day, he may see that he was wrong. I hope for your sake that he realizes it before it’s too late.” “It is too late. I don’t care about him. My father is dead to me, just like I’m dead to him,” Justin said with little emotion, which scared Brian more than anything. Brian hated to see Justin in so much pain, and he wished that he could kill Craig Taylor for what he had put his son through. If the man could just see what a treasure Justin was – what a strong, loyal, caring young man that he had helped to raise. But Brian knew that it might never happen, and he hated Craig more for taking away something that meant so much to Justin. “No matter what, Justin, even if your father can’t get past his hate – you still have people there for you, who love you. Don’t give up on us.” Brain saw Justin nod slightly in agreement, and Brian breathed a sigh of relief. “I know that you’re hurt ‘cause he never showed up when you were in the hospital either time.” “Don’t,” Justin warned. Brian reached over and pulled Justin’s chin so that their eyes could meet again. “Justin, please. I . . . I need to talk about it. For the longest time, I thought I was to blame for what happened. I thought that if I hadn’t shown up at the prom, then Hobbs. . . then it never would’ve happened. I was wrong, I know that now. YOU taught me that. But Justin,” Brian said forcing Justin to look at him – to really look at him. “You are not to blame either. Not for Hobbs, and not for the accident.” Brian felt that Justin wanted to flee, and he would’ve if his leg hadn’t been in a cast. “How can you say that? If I had just left well enough alone, and not jerked Chris off . . . then bragged about it every chance I got . . . You can’t tell me that if I hadn’t done all of that, Chris wouldn’t’ve left me alone.” Justin turned his face away from Brian, hoping to hide the tears that were beginning to flow down his face. “If I had been paying more attention to what was going on around me. . . If I had just seen that guy coming . . . then Nate. . . “ “It’s not your fault,” Brian said, carefully pulling Justin into his arms, allowing the younger man to let the pain out. “Chris Hobbs was – is – a closet case who couldn’t face the fact that he might have actually enjoyed being jerked off by you. He couldn’t deal with the fact that we didn’t care who knew who and what we were. He didn’t like the fact that you were not ashamed. As for what happened to Nate . . . you couldn’t have known that something like that would happen. By the time you would’ve seen him it still would’ve been too late. No one blames you for any of it, Justin. You shouldn’t blame yourself.” “How can you love me, Brian?” Justin asked him, pulling away slightly to look in his eyes. “How can you love me when everything I touch gets destroyed?” Brian felt his own tears come to surface at Justin’s pain-filled question. “How can you love me? How can you love someone who is as fucked up as me? We don’t choose who we love, Justin. It just happens. I learned that. . . You taught me that. Together we can get through anything, we just have to be strong for each other.” Justin laid his head back down on Brian’s shoulder, and held onto him tightly. Brian slowly ran his hand up and down Justin’s back hoping to calm the younger man. There was so much more that he wanted to talk about, so much more they needed to talk about, but he knew that they would have to wait. He didn’t think that they could survive if they let it all out at once. They had time – time to work through everything. Brian wasn’t going to give up. Justin had been able to tear down his walls, now it was his turn to break down Justin’s. They would work all of this out, and become stronger for it. Brian knew that he had help in his new friends. Together they would help Justin, and help him get through all of the pain. Brian knew that it wouldn’t happen overnight. He knew that they would be working on this for years to come. They both had things in their past that they had buried down deep within them. But he also knew that they could get past all of the old hurt together. Brian felt Justin relax against him, and he knew that the young man was exhausted, and emotionally drained. ‘Hell, I’m drained,’ Brian thought to himself. He had never been so open in his life. He felt raw, but in a strange way, he felt more at peace than he had in a long time. Brian carefully picked Justin up into his arms, and began to carry the young man toward the bedroom. After placing Justin under the covers, Brian slowly crawled in next to him, and pulled the young man into his arms. “Sleep, Justin. Everything will be okay. No matter what, I’m not going anywhere. I love you.” Brian placed his head on top of Justin’s and closed his eyes. “I’ll be here for you,” he stated as he let his eyes drop, and sleep take over. **************** TBC. . .