Justin woke up with the sun shining in his dry gritty eyes. His eyes felt swollen from the hours he spent crying himself to sleep. After he left his husband the night before he ran home to his parents to cry on his mom’s shoulder. Now he just wanted to crawl under his bed and never come back out. He couldn’t believe he ran home to mommy and daddy like some pussy but he felt he had no where else to go. So here he was back in his childhood room where just days ago he left on his grand adventure to clear his head. He wished Brian had given the time to listen to him that he now know that what ever he felt for Aaron was nothing like the feelings he had for Brian. It was just a schoolboy crush before but now he honestly loves Brian. If only Brian knew that; he would forgive him and let him come home. Brian needed time and that was something that Justin didn’t have a lot of. He wanted to go back to the loft where Brian was. He wanted to be back in his husband’s arms and his bed.
Justin rolled out of bed and headed for the bathroom, hoping a hot shower would help him feel better.


Down in the Taylor’s kitchen Justin’s mom, Jennifer was putting breakfast on the table when her husband Craig came in from the den where he took an important phone call.


“Jen you wouldn’t believe the report on Brian Kinney. Kevin dragged up a lot of shit on our new son-in-law. He has won some prestigious rewards in advertising and is known as the best in Pittsburgh and maybe all of the east coast. Companies fight to have him take care of their advertising. But he is so over loaded with work that he only takes on business that has accounts of over five million or more. He just made partner with Vince Gardner’s firm, Vanguard. But it’s his personal life that has me worried.” 


Justin walked into the kitchen and plopped his butt in to a chair and let out a huge sigh. Jennifer walked over and ran her fingers through her son’s blond hair and than leaned down to place a kiss on the top of his head.


“How did you sleep last night Angel?” Jennifer asked Justin and using his nickname from birth.


“Like shit. I miss Brian” Justin said as he laid his head in his arms on the table.


“Angel, I had a friend investigate Brian for me and he faxed over what he found. Maybe you should read it and then we can talk afterwards. Maybe after you read it you might not feel the same way as you do now?” Craig put a stack of paper in front of Justin on the table.


“I thought you said he is successful.” Jennifer asked her husband.


“He is. It’s his personal life that is a mess.”


“I don’t care Dad. I love him and I want to be with him.” Justin said as his voice raised and he stood up pushing the papers away from him.


“What does the paper say?” Jennifer asked.


“He has a son by a lesbian friend from college. The boy lives with his two mothers here in Pittsburgh. And he has a past of sleeping with a lot of men. The way Kevin puts it is he is well known as the stud of Liberty Avenue where all the gay bars and clubs are located. Is this the kind of person you want to stay married to. He might never settle down to married life. He might come to love you or he might resent you later for trying to tie him down to a life he doesn’t want.”


“I know all this. Dad, he is………wonderful..hot…funny….loyal to his friends…he can be so much more than he gives himself credit for… he has so much love to give but he holds himself back. I know he cares for me…he might not love me yet but he will….and maybe he might already….but I want to be there when he figures it out. I want to be there when he wakes up every morning and be there when he goes to bed at night. I want to grow old with him and share his life with him. Even through the bad times and the good. I will take him how ever I can get him. And if it means that I have to put up through a lot of shit to get there; then it will be worth it.” Justin looking at his Dad with sad pleading eyes willing him to understand.


“Angel, we will support you in what ever you decide. You know that but you have to be sure and I mean absolutely sure that this is what you want. You have a huge fight ahead of you and it shouldn’t be like a school boy crush. This is your husband we are talking about. Not like the time you where fifteen and you had that crush on that Hobbs kid and you where broken hearted when he went out with that Amber girl. Or run to Vermont when you heard Aaron was getting married. This is the big time now, son. You can‘t run when things get bad and so you know that you need to go back and work things out with Brian. You can’t leave things how they are now.” Craig said.


“I know Dad.”


“Justin I don’t know if you ever knew this but I was quite the ladies man before I met your mother.”


“You were a male whore.” Jennifer laughed.


“MOM!”


“Well he was Angel. He slept with hundreds of women until he met me. He had the same reputation as your Brian does. But he met me and we feel in love. It took him a while to settle down and figure out what he wanted but when he did he has been nothing but committed to our marriage.”


“Jennifer………What your mother is trying to say is that while I was in college I sewed my wild oats…a lot…I never really had a girlfriend or any kind of relationship. My friends and I were did a lot of terrible stuff to get girls to party with us. I’m not proud of what we did now but we thought we weren’t hurting the girls we took out. But we lead them on. Until my first year after college I met this gorgeous blond girl. She was about 19 years old with the greatest smile that could bring sunlight into any room. I met her at Jake’s Bar and Grill where she was a waitress. We took one look at each other and it was instant attraction. But unfortunately I was an asshole and I just wanted to sleep with her once and put her in a cab and forget about her. But she had other plans for me and before I know it I had fell in love with her and I asked her to marry me. But son, marriage is hard work. And its work you have to do every day. How do I explain this?” Craig asked.


“What your dad is trying to say is……marriage is like a plant……..” Jennifer started to say but was interrupted when Craig and Justin started to laugh.


“Now stop it you two I’m serious……It’s a plant that everyday you have to feed, water, and put in to the sunlight…..like a marriage…everyday you have to feed the marriage with love, understanding, and support. Give it a daily dose of sunshine and fun and you should have a happy marriage….sometimes you have to compromise with each other. Just give it a change Justin and in the end it will work out. Because I have a feeling that Brian needs you just as much as you need him.”


“I’ll try mom” Justin replied as he gave his dad a small smile and to find one returned to him as he mouth “a plant “; and then they both tried to cover up their giggles.


Brian woke with a terrible headache and a heavy heart. He couldn’t believe he had blown up at Justin the night before and tossed him out. He knew he had no room to judge Justin for what ever happened before they met because he himself had fucked half of gay Pittsburgh and the other half had sucked his dick; so to get mad because Justin had a boyfriend before they met shouldn’t matter since he was the one to take the boy’s cherry. And he had to also admit that he missed waking up to Justin beside him, even after such a short time he had grown used to the young man stealing the blankets, his pillow and pressing his body close to him.

Brian felt like a total shit for what he did and he had to come up with a way to make it right with Justin but after looking over at the clock it would have to wait till after work.



Brian couldn’t take it any more. He had set at his desk all morning not getting shit done since all he could think about was the fight he had with Justin. Now it was noon and he had tried a half dozen times to call the blond on his cell but he couldn’t come up with the courage to make the call. Brian jumped up and grabbed his brief case and coat; turned off his computer for the day and walked out. He throws a lame excuse to Cynthia on his way out the door and went home.


Brian slowly walked up the steps to his loft and realized that his blond husband was standing in front of his door waiting for him.


“I was just getting ready to slide a note under your door.”


“What do you want Justin?” Brian asked rather harshly.


“I wanted to explain…..” Justin started but was interrupted by Brian.


“Explain what…..there is nothing to explain…..so the fuck what…..you had a boyfriend before….who am I to judge….I fucked hundreds….if not thousands of men before we met.”


Brian grabbed his husband by the front of his shirt and pulled him through the door and into the loft. He was already pulling Justin’s clothes off as he closed the door behind them.