Gone but not Forgotten

Part Three

Pittsburgh – month 5

Ted moved through his apartment, trying to mentally prepare himself for what he knew he had to do. He had to do this, for Brian and for himself. Cynthia, the detective and Ted had sat down for days working out the best way for him to try and get the information, and what they would do with whatever they discovered. They all agreed that they wouldn’t go to the police until they had solid evidence as to the location of where Brian was. 

All Ted knew was that this was going to be the hardest thing he had ever done. Well second hardest. The hardest thing was of course detoxing, but now… now he had to fight the temptation and keep his mind focused. On his way back to his apartment he had picked up some eye-drops that he knew would affect his eyes, making them bloodshot and red. He had to at least look the part of a drug addict. 

Hearing a knock on his door, Ted went to answer it, figuring that it was Cynthia with the rest of the material they would need. “Teddy…what? Oh Teddy.” Emmett stated seconds after Ted had opened the door.

Knowing that he had to stop his friend from thinking that he had ‘fallen off the wagon’ Ted pulled Emmett into his apartment and closed the door. “Em, it’s not what you think. It’s eye-drops. See?” He started to explain as he held up the bottle of drops. “I swear to you… it’s not what you think.”

“Teddy, I come here and you look like you’re using again… what am I supposed to think? What are you doing?” Emmett walked further into the apartment looking around for signs that Ted was using again.

“You won’t find anything, Em. I’m not using.” The last thing Ted wanted was to lose his best friend because of his need to help Brian. “I can explain… can you sit down? Please?”

Hearing another knock on the door, Ted hung his head as he opened it. “I brought the make-up. When I’m done with you, you will look the part without a doubt.” Cynthia stated bursting into the room. Seeing the other man standing in the middle of the room staring at her, Cynthia gave a slight wave. “Um… hi. It’s Emmett right?”

“Yes, and you’re Cynthia?” Emmett asked not knowing what in the world was going on.

Ted looked at Emmett and knew that they had to tell the other man the full story. “I think you should sit down.” When Ted was satisfied that Emmett was settled, he gave Cynthia a small smile as he watched her hand Em a glass of water. “What we’re about to tell you, you can’t tell anyone. And I mean anyone. Not Michael, not Lindsey… no one.”

“Why? What are you doing? Some secret spy thing that we don’t know about?” Em asked looking from one to the other. Seeing their slightly guilty look, Em knew he had his answer. “My god, you are.”

“Brian’s not on vacation, or on some meeting expedition. Brian is missing, and has been for the past five months.”

“What? Why didn’t we know this? You knew and you didn’t tell us? We need to find him!” Emmett stood immediately getting ready to head out and rally the troops to find Brian.

Cynthia placed her hand on Emmett’s shoulder stopping the man’s movements. “No one cared. I went to the diner to tell them that I believed that Brian was missing, and no one gave a damn. No one bothered to try and help me, they all just told me that it was typical of Brian to turn tail and hide.”

“From what we have found out, Brian and a bunch of others are missing. It’s a ring of some sort. The people are missing for a year, and when they come back they have no memory of where they have been.” Ted sat down next to Emmett on the couch and placed his hand on top of the others. “We believe that Brian was kidnapped by whoever took the others, and I thought that maybe… maybe someone I used to hang out with might know something.”

Cynthia sat down on the other side of Emmett and placed her elbows on her knees. “The police won’t help because they see that Brian ‘disappeared’ six years ago. They don’t consider him a missing person. So we know we have to do this on our own, until we can come up with some solid evidence as to where they might be.” 

“So you’re,” Emmett turned his gaze to Ted, getting his full attention. “You’re going to go… undercover to find out if anyone in the circuit knows something?” Ted nodded, letting Emmett know that that’s exactly what Ted was planning on doing. “That’s crazy. It’s dangerous. Not to mention that you’re going to be SERIOUSLY tempted, but they could kill you if they find out.”

“It’s a chance I have to take, Em. We’re at a dead end right now, we know very little, and this is the only chance we might have to finding where Brian and the others are.” Ted tried to explain to his friend.

“If we don’t find them before the year is up… who knows what will happen.” Cynthia went on to explain. “What is happening to them? Where are they? Will Brian return with his memory of the past year completely wiped clean? Others who this has happened to have gone so far as to commit suicide, or committed to a mental institute. What if Brian doesn’t come back? What if they decide to keep him?”

“My God,” Emmett breathed. He didn’t realize that things were THIS bad. He hadn’t thought anything about Brian’s disappearance from the group, just figured that the man needed some time alone. “Is there anything I can do?”

Ted shook his head, placing his arm around Emmett. “The only thing we can ask you to do is to keep this silent. Don’t tell anyone. We’re doing what we can, and we don’t need anyone else getting involved. Plus… I will need my friend around to make sure I don’t fall off the wagon.”

Emmett reached around and pulled Ted into a tight hug. Pulling away slightly he gave the two a brief nod. “My lips are sealed. And I’ll be here every chance I get to make sure you’re okay. Whatever I can do, I will.” Emmett could see the tears start to form in the corner of Ted’s eyes, and he gave the man a small smile. “Now… no crying. We have a lot of work to do if we’re going to make you look like a drug addict. I know first hand what you looked like, so hun, hand me the make-up. We have a lot of work to do.”

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
“Brian, have you ever done it raw?” Justin asked. He was curled up against the man he loved so tightly it was hard to tell where one man stopped and the other began.

“Once when I was stupid and young.” Brian sighed. “I was drunk and high and very, very horny. I couldn’t find a condom quickly enough and I gave in. Fucked the guy senseless most of the night.”

“What happened?”

“When I came to the next day I realized what I’d done. I was in a panic and eventually ended up confessing to Vic, my best friend’s uncle. Vic was always like a father to me. I didn’t know it at the time but he was positive. He looked at me in this way he has and said. “I’m disappointed in you Brian.” He looked like he was going to cry. He took me to a clinic and had me tested and then went back with me a few months later for retesting. He told me that he was positive and how it had affected his life. By the time I had my third test, Vic was pretty sick. He’s doing better now, but I’ll never forget that look on his face. Justin, it was worse than if he’d beaten me senseless.”

“Have you been tested lately?” Justin asked after a long pause.

“I’m tested regularly and I always have used condoms since that one time. I figured a few minutes of fun wasn’t really worth gambling my life over.” 

“I know what you mean.” Justin looked miserable. He laid silent and then getting up on one elbow so that he could look directly into Brian’s eyes, he said. “I’m pretty sure that I’m negative. I haven’t been all that sexually active in the past year. I was concentrating on finishing up at PIFA. I was tested two months before I was taken here. I don’t think they did anything to me when I was unconscious. What I’m saying here Brian is that I really do feel you’re safe with me.”

“Sunshine, you know, I never thought I would hear myself say this, but I don’t give a shit about my life as long as you are safe and well. If it means having raw sex to keep you alive, then so be it.” He grinned up at Justin. “Just between you and me, I haven’t had sex with anyone since my surgery. I was negative then and it’s unlikely anything has changed.” 

“You haven’t?”

“Nope, at first I was to fucking sick. Puking your guts out in between fucks isn’t conducive to getting hard. And then after the Chemo was finished with I was working my ass off to make sure Kinnetic was still in the top five advertising firms in the eastern US. I figured I had all the time in the world to return to my backroom routines.”

“Do you miss the backrooms?”

“Not as long as I have you.” Brian pulled Justin’s head down and began to kiss him. 

Soon the kiss intensified and Justin rolled on top of Brian. He broke away and grinned. “Since I’m the youngest, I should be the first.”

Brian knew what the man meant but Justin wasn’t going to get his dick up Brian’s ass without a fight. Well not a real fight, having Justin fuck him would be kind of nice. Brian moved and now Justin found himself pinned under the older man. Kisses were rained on Justin’s flushed face. Brian nibbled on Justin’s ear and whispered into it. “For now Sunshine, let me pretend to fuck you. You’ve barely recovered and I’m damned if I’m going to let you have a relapse. I figure I’ve watched enough porn to pull this off without those assholes knowing. It should buy us a few days time before they demand close ups.”

“Oh Stud, you say the sexiest things.” Justin cooed loudly for the benefit of those listening. “I’ve changed my mind, I want your big cock up my ass. But be gentle please, it’s been a long, long time since I bottomed. I’d promised myself that I would only bottom with the man that I was going to marry.”

“You’re shitting me right?” Brian pulled back from kissing Justin’s neck to ask. “You really want to get married like some kind of lesbian?”

“No Stud, I really want to get married like some kind of gay man who wants love and stability in his life. Now shut the fuck up and kiss me again.”

“Yes dear.” 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
If you were home right now, what would you be doing?” Justin asked Brian as he sat on the floor with his sketchbook in hand. 

Brian turned from his position at the small desk to glare at Justin. “Considering I have no idea what time of the day it is… what day it is, or what month it is for that matter, I can say I have no fucking clue.”

Justin smiled and shook his head. “You evidentially don’t know how to play this game, Stud. Don’t they teach you anything there in Pittsburgh?”

“You tell me, you were there for a while.” Brian replied back with a raised eye-brow.

“True… I would be sitting in the sunroom, with my cat on my lap. Some corny moving playing as background music. Letting the sun warm my skin. I would have a nice cold beer sitting on the table next to me, right next to my sketchbook and a book.” Justin smiled up at Brian as if to say ‘there’. 

Brian gave a slight nod, wishing he could be right there with Justin at that moment. Anywhere but this damn place. “I would take Gus to the park. Just sit there and watch him play. Then pretend that I’m being put out when he asks for ice cream, and of course I just HAVE to take him.”

Justin stood and moved to sit on Brian’s lap, wrapping his arms around his lover’s shoulders. “I can’t wait to meet him. I bet he’s a splitting image of you.”

“If I had my wallet, I’d show you a picture.” Brian wished he had just that simple picture. It was one of his favorite, prized possessions. He felt lost without being able to see his beloved son at all. “I bet I missed his birthday. Boy is Linds going to be pissed.”

Justin gave Brian a strange look, wondering not for the first time, what fucked up ‘family’ he had. “Why would she be pissed? It’s not like you choose to be kidnapped.”

“Ahhh…but everything is my fault. I’m the big bad wolf.” Brian wrapped his arms around Justin’s waist, pulling the man’s body closer so he could lightly place kisses on his neck. “Everything that is wrong with their lives is my fault. Mel cheats on Linds and it’s my fault. Mikey isn’t getting along with his boyfriend, and it’s my fault.”

Justin leaned back and looked at Brian, a shocked look spread across his face. “That’s fucked up. If someone’s life is fucked up, it’s no one’s fault but their own. Why is it your fault that they have problems? Who the fuck thinks that?”

Brian was thrilled that someone was sticking up for him for once. No one before had ever thought that it was wrong to believe it was his fault, that he wasn’t to blame. No one had ever cared what he thought or felt. It was a nice feeling. “It’s the way that my little fucked up ‘family’ is, Sunshine. It’s okay. I do what I can, and if they don’t like it then fuck ‘em.”

“That is really fucked up, Brian. Really fucked up.” Justin moved in to lean his head against Brian’s shoulder. He vowed to himself that no matter what, when they got out of this mess, he wouldn’t let anyone treat Brian like shit ever again.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

It had taken Ted three weeks to get back in with the ‘old gang’, and each day he grateful to come home to Emmett waiting for him. Emmett had kept his word, and had not told a soul about Brian’s kidnapping. He had always made himself available if and when Ted needed to talk. Ted knew that he would not have made it this past week without Emmett by his side.

It had been difficult, more than he had originally thought. Having the drugs placed in his hand, seeing the ‘fun’ the boys were having was beginning to make him crazy. Just being by the drugs, smelling them in the air, was having an adverse reaction to his system, and the cravings had been horrendous. But Ted kept his resolve, pretending to accept the drugs without a problem, pretending to ‘take’ the drugs… everything with the knowledge in the back of his mind that if he failed, then Brian could never return. He knew that someone in the group knew something, he had started to hear things that made him believe that this is where they would find the much-needed information.

Ted also knew that once all was said and done, he would be back at the clinic telling his story, and telling them how he had succeeded, how he had overcome the temptation. He needed to know he could do it, and he would, for himself, for Brian, and now for Emmett. He couldn’t let any of them down. The faith that Brian and Emmett had shown him, he knew he could never repay, but he was going to try.

“It makes you wonder,” Ted began as he sat down next to one of the twinks that was at the little ‘get-together’. “You hear all these stories about gay men going missing… who’s to say that it might not be one of us next.”

“That’s not what Paul says.” The other man stated, too far-gone already to know that he shouldn’t be discussing this with anyone. “I went with him once to this place… hot, hot, hot.” The twink stated as he moved away from Ted, and worked his way through the room.

Ted knew that whatever Paul took the twink to was a good place to start. Now if he could just get more information from the man without raising any serious questions. He now had a place to start, a target. Only problem was, Paul hardly ever came to these little parties. Ted would have to work a little harder before he could get invited into the ones that Paul was attending. It would take him weeks to be trusted enough, weeks of waiting and a lot of money to flash around.

Ted had to talk to Cynthia and try to figure out what the next step would be. They needed more time, more money if Ted was going to get in. He hoped that at least by the end of following month, they would have Brian safe and home. He hoped that in the next month he would have the necessary information.

He hoped that one day he could go back to his life, spend time with his friends, and be just normal, boring Ted once again. One day he would even stop getting evil calls from Michael and the others. Ted knew that he was putting Emmett in a terrible position, but luck would have it, that Emmett didn’t care. He was only too happy to help; willing to suffer through the BS the ‘gang’ was giving them all. Ted knew that Emmett was having a difficult time keeping the secret, if for nothing else than to fix the other’s belief that both Ted and Brian were worthless. 

Luckily, Emmett kept his lips sealed. He stayed strong, for all of them. No one could have asked for a better friend, and Ted knew that with Em’s help, they would all make it out of this mess.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Justin jumped up to sit on the edge of the counter watching as Brian began to place their ‘daily’ supply of food into the refrigerator. “Who ever knew that putting away food could be sexy.” Justin said with a smile and a raised eyebrow. “So Stud… what is on the agenda today?”

Brian looked over his shoulder at the bouncing blond sitting on the counter, and tried not to laugh. “I guess you’re feeling better?”

“A ton. Thank-you for that. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t been there.” Justin reached over and ran a finger down Brian’s back, feeling the electric shock run through his body. “Will it always be like this? I mean, when we get out of here. Will we be this comfortable with each other?”

Brian closed the door and moved so he was standing in between Justin’s legs. Placing his hands on either side of the blond, Brian leaned in and ran his tongue against Justin’s lips. When Justin parted his lips, Brian allowed his tongue to explore the inside of his lover’s mouth. Releasing the kiss, Brian rested his forehead against Justin’s. “Somehow I don’t think it will always be like this.” Brian told Justin. Seeing the hurt cross his lover’s face, Brian leaned in so he could run his tongue against the side of Justin’s neck. “I think it will only get better,” he whispered against Justin’s ear, feeling the shivers in his lover’s body. “You ready for this?”

“Remember what I said? Wedding or you don’t get inside me.” Justin had a huge smile on his face, knowing that Brian wasn’t sure if he was kidding or not. “I’m serious.”

“Fine…we’ll figure all that shit out when we get out of here. Sometime in the future, I will marry you.” Brian agreed with his tongue firmly placed in his cheek. Seeing his words begin to register in the blond’s mind, Brian once again plunged his tongue into Justin’s mouth, cutting off any argument. It was something to discuss another time… for now; he wanted to feel Justin surrounding him. 

Brian began to move his lips down Justin’s body, as he used one hand to push the blond back so he was leaning on his elbows. “Brian.” Justin’s soft voice came, breaking Brian from his path. “Can we do this somewhere more comfortable?”

Brian nodded as he lifted Justin up into his arms, feeling the younger man wrap his legs around his hips. Brian wanted their first time to be enjoyable, and memorable for the both of them. The first time, in effect for the both of them. Brian could feel his hands start to shake, and the nervousness started to run through his body as he set Justin carefully down on the bed. Crawling up to cover the smaller frame, Brian rested his head against Justin’s. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this fucking nervous.”

Justin reached over and turned Brian’s face toward his so he could look the man he loved in the eye. “Me too. And knowing that they’re watching…”

Brian leaned in and kissed Justin lightly on the forehead, cheek, nose, and lips. “Just keep your eyes on me. Focus on me, and nothing else. There’s no one else here, only us. We’re at your place in the mountains.” Brian continued to place light butterfly kisses across Justin’s face, trying to comfort the blond, relax him. “It’s just the two of us, no one else. Our love for one another is the only thing here. Look at me… what do you see?”

Justin looked deep into Brian’s lust-filled eyes and saw only love. “Only you. I love you, Brian. Make love to me.” .” Never before in his life had he felt so connected to someone as he did to Brian, and it was a feeling that Justin never wanted to end. He never wanted to know the horrors of living without Brian, never wanted to forget him. Justin knew, although Brian refused to acknowledge it – that if they were not rescued, then this entire time they were together would be lost, this sense of love and being loved would be gone forever. Justin wanted to make sure that he had enough stored away deep within him that he never forgot.

“Justin,” Brian brought his lover back to the present, running his hand lightly across the side of Justin’s face. “Focus on me. Keep your eyes on me. They aren’t here.” Brian made sure that Justin’s eyes were always on his as moved his hands and lips across the pale skin beneath him. He wanted Justin with him, and not thinking about what… or who was watching. It wasn’t his ideal place or situation to be having this moment, but Brian knew that not only did it have to be done, but it would have come to this if they stayed here any longer. In the days, weeks, months that they had been trapped in that room, Brian had felt himself need Justin more and more. He couldn’t allow the blond to be out of his sight for any length of time. They needed each other and completed each other.

With his eyes trained on Justin’s, Brian began to prepare his lover. With tongue and fingers, making sure that Justin was more than ready for him. When the time came to enter Justin, Brian looked deep into his lover’s eyes to make sure that it was in deed what he wanted. “I want you inside me.” Was the whispered approval.

“Fuck,” Brian breathed against Justin’s neck as he felt himself slide into his lover. “You’re so fucking tight… so warm… I…”

“I love you, Brian.” Justin answered back as he lifted his hips, allowing Brian to slip in completely. “Fuck!” Justin thought he could feel every vein in Brian’s swollen cock, swear that he could feel his heart racing, his temperature rising. He wasn’t sure if it was just the knowledge of what they were doing that was increasing his senses, or if it was real, but Justin knew that whatever the reason, he didn’t want it to ever end. “Harder.”

Brian pulled out so only the head of his cock was still inside then slammed back in, making sure to touch that one spot deep within his lover. “Eyes open,” he said with a small smile on his lips.

Justin opened his eyes immediately only to narrow them. “Not if you keep doing that… Christ Brian.” He huffed. 

“Feel good, cause it does to me. You feel so good.” Brian continued to rock into Justin, always making sure to graze the blond’s prostate with every thrust. 

“I am sooo going to get even with you over this,” Justin promised as he once again felt the electric current flow through his system. With his eyes wide open, Justin squeezed his anal muscles, causing Brian to cry out. “Open your eyes, Stud.” 

“The time will come, Sunshine. Trust me on that.” Brian glanced down at Justin and shook his head, never once breaking his stride. “Now… no more talking.” Brian began to quicken his pace, burying himself deeper into Justin, never moving completely out. He could feel Justin tightening around him, signaling that the younger man was almost at his peak. Reaching between their bodies, Brian started to jerk Justin off, moving his hand at the same tempo as his lower body. 

Justin tried to breathe, tried to stop the inevitable. He never wanted this moment to end, but knew that it must. Justin couldn’t take any more, and allowed himself the release his body had been craving. His vision blurred, and everything stopped. He could feel a sudden warmth spread through him, filling him. Opening his eyes he caught Brian, eyes closed, and mouth slightly open, signifying the man’s own release. Justin knew he had never seen, nor would ever see anything more beautiful than that.

Justin lay in Brian’s arms completely sated by the extraordinary sex they had just had. He knew that he was going to make love to Brian soon. He had to if for no other reason than to let the other man know that he too was loved and cherished. Because that’s how Justin felt after Brian had made love to him.

“Hold on Brian, let me clean us both up.” Justin giggled. “That’s the one disadvantage of not using a condom. It’s a hell of a lot messier.”

“And you might get pregnant.”

“Or you might.” Justin giggled again and Brian smiled at the youthfulness of the other man. He wondered if he’d ever been young enough to giggle. Or had he gone from a somber child, to a somber teen and then continued on as a somber adult.

Justin came back in a few minutes. He’d taken the time to clean himself up and now it was his turn to wash Brian. He kind of liked the idea of making sure his man was clean enough to eat. At the thought he giggled again. Brian groaned in pleasure as Justin used sensual strokes of the warm wet and soapy cloth to wash his cock and balls as well as his chest. He could get used to this Brian thought to himself. “You know sex is sure a messy business.” Justin commented.

“But it’s a lot of fun.”

“And it feels good.”

“And it tastes good too.”

“Only when you’re clean.” Justin said with a smile. “You know you’d think if they weren’t going to supply condoms that they would at least provide nicer bathrooms with a decent shower or maybe even a Jacuzzi tub.”

“Is the poor little rich boy feeling deprived?” Brian teased.

Justin rolled his eyes. He put away his makeshift sponge bath and climbed onto the bed beside Brian. He wiggled until he had his head on Brian’s chest with the auburn haired man’s arm holding him close. “Do you like cats?” Justin asked.

“I don’t like pussy, but I don’t know about cats. I’ve never had one.” Brian traced lazy circles on Justin’s arm. You mentioned that you have a cat.”

“Yeah, his name is Barney. I found him in…..”

“Let me guess in a barn.”

“No asshole, in a garbage can.” He just reminded me of Barney Rubble.”

“Who the fuck is that?”

“The Flintstones, you have to have heard of the Flintstones.”

“Oh, yeah, but I never knew they had last names.” Brian leaned a bit and kissed Justin’s forehead. 

“Brian, shut up.” Justin began to suckle on Brian’s small nipple. A ripple of pleasure went straight to the man’s cock. With his other hand, Justin tweaked the other nipple. After all you had to play fair, both nipples needed attention.

Brian was barely able to contain himself. Justin had spent the last half hour working his way over every part of the man’s body, touching and tasting, tweaking and pulling, but never once touching his cock or his balls and never once touching his asshole which by now was quivering with desire. He’d even spent time on each foot and under his arms which Brian had found amazingly sensitive and arousing. 

When Justin rolled the taller man over to begin working his way down Brian’s back, Brian thought nothing of it. Soon, but not soon enough, Justin’s tongue was circling the puckers of Brian’s asshole. Quaking shivers rippled through the muscles of the older man’s body and he bit the pillow to stop himself from crying out. Because he was the quintessential top, he’d never actually been on the receiving end of a rim job though he’d certainly rimmed many men before. Brian couldn’t believe how Justin’s tongue could make him feel the sensations he was feeling. Each time it plunged inside, Brian pushed back wanting more, he began to raise himself on his knees while spreading his legs as far apart as he could, his body demanding more and more. Yet Justin still refused to touch Brian’s now throbbing cock and balls. Brian tried to reach down to do it himself but found his hand gently removed. His ass arched up again. He wanted, no needed to be filled with Justin’s cock. 

Guttural sounds were coming from his throat, involuntary demands for Justin to fuck him and to do it now seemed to issue from deep inside of him. Inside of his head Brian couldn’t believe he, Brian Kinney, a dominant top had been reduced to a pleading bottom, yet he couldn’t stop himself. Justin got onto his knees behind Brian. He placed his well lubed dick at the entrance of Brian’s hole and slowly began to push inside allowing plenty of time for Brian to get used to the feeling. Suddenly unable to stop himself Brian pushed back. His barely suppressed scream at the sudden pain quickly turned into screams of passion filled demands as he begged Justin to ride him hard and fast. 

Justin, not all that surprised at Brian’s reaction, rode his lover hard, the tempo increasing as they both lost themselves in the moment. Justin reached up and threaded his fingers through Brian’s when he felt them both near orgasm. Clutching desperately together, they both came in a blinding rush of wet heat and black stars. Brian’s legs gave out and both of them ended up collapsed. It was several moments before either of them could control their breathing enough to talk. Justin started to pull out but Brian said. “No, don’t, I don’t want you to leave me. I want to feel you inside me for as long as I can. That way I know that you’re real.”

“I’m real Brian, I’ll never leave you, I’ll always love you.” Justin rested his head on Brian’s back. He didn’t pull out. He knew exactly what the other man meant. 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

It had taken Ted six weeks before he was allowed to get a glimpse of Paul and get an invite to one of their parties. Six long weeks of pretending, being tempted. Six long weeks of pure hell, in Ted’s book. But when he had finally arrived at the party, he knew that without a doubt the men within this room, knew where the missing men were. They knew what was going on. 

“This is taking entirely too long.” Cynthia stated as their group sat around her living room. Ted, Emmett, Joanne, and the detective gathered once a week to have a ‘powwow’ on what information they had obtained. 

“Ms. Morgan, these things unfortunately take time. Ted has gotten in quicker than anyone else has been able to, and that’s because of his past. I’ve known people who don’t ever get in.” The old detective explained, knowing in his mind they were getting close to ending this thing, once and for all. “At the rate we’re going, we will have the boys back before the year is up. I have no doubt about that.”

“I know… I know. It’s just fucking frustrating!” Cynthia plopped down on her leather chair and took a sip of her wine. “So what do we know?”

“I got the final report from the police in Palm Beach… nothing. The papers that were found at Eric’s apartment were a complete dead end. We’re at a dead end, on my side of things.” The detective regrettably stated. He hated when things came to a stand-still. He hated that he didn’t have more leads he could follow, that he couldn’t do more. “I am following up on some of the leads and names however that Ted gave me, so I think those will pan into something.”

“We know that Paul knows something. With everything that I’ve heard, he likes to take some guys to this place to have a ‘live-show’. Whatever that means. I can only guess.” Ted said with a disgusted look. He remembered the ‘live porn’ that these guys liked to watch, and just the thought of Brian being subjected to something like that made him sick. “I’ve gotten as many names of people as I could, and I really think that one of them is connected in some way to whatever Brian is being put through. All I need is one person, and I can try and see if I can get into the place, and check it out. See if they are really there.”

Emmett had sat through every meeting, staying silent but praying that one of these meetings would state that they had found the missing men. “So you find someone to take you to the place, you check it out see if Brian is there, then what?”

The detective leaned forward in his chair, grabbing the entire attention of the group. “As Ted stated last week, we have to inform the authorities. Get the FBI involved. If we can get the solid proof, find where Brian … and Justin are, then we can go to the FBI and show them, force them to make their move.”

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Justin wrapped his arms around Brian as his lover leaned back against his chest. Since the first time they had made love, neither one of them could go long without some form of contact. They had to be close to one another, touch one another. Fear that the ‘powers that be’ would take it all away from them was becoming a constant with them. “I think that one of the things I will have a problem with when we get out of here, is clothes.” Justin laid his chin on Brian’s shoulder, lightly placing a kiss on his lover’s cheek. “I mean, we’ve been without for so long…”

“I know that the backrooms and shit is out. I don’t think I can stand anyone else seeing me naked.” Brian let Justin know his fears. He had always been one to not care what others though, never been one to care if people saw him naked. It was just one more thing that their captors had taken away from them. “Well no one but you.” Brian added turning his head to the side to kiss Justin’s lips. 

“Ahhh, I’m honored.” Justin joked. He felt the same way, however. The thought of anyone but Brian seeing him without clothes made Justin’s skin crawl. The thought of anyone around him, besides his lover, made him feel sick to his stomach. He was sick of being watched, sick of having to ‘perform’ for others. “All I’m saying is that it will be just a little weird. I don’t know if I remember what type of material won’t irritate my skin.”

Brian placed his hands over Justin’s and leaned in closer to his lover. “I know what you’re saying, and I agree. Strange, but nice too.”

“Yeah.” Justin whispered. It would be nice to not be so exposed to everyone. “What I do know… as long as we’re together, we’ll get through it. Whatever it is.”

Brian turned around in Justin’s arms, and pulled them down so they were laying flat on the bed. “No matter what.” Brian leaned in and lightly kissed Justin’s lips. Since that day, he couldn’t get enough of his beautiful blond. The feeling of Justin inside him, of him inside Justin, nothing between them was overpowering. He knew Justin felt the same way. “I love you,” Brian whispered in Justin’s ear, as his hands began to move across Justin’s skin. “My turn.” With a smile on his face, Brian reached over to the tube of lube, and reached for Justin’s hand. All Brian knew at that moment was that he needed to feel Justin inside him; he needed to have his lover buried deep inside him once again.

That was the one thing that Brian knew he would never give up. In their relationship, they were complete equals; one wasn’t better than the other. They shared everything, and both took complete enjoyment out of what they had and could give each other. This was what he had been looking for, what he had been craving. Someone who could be his equal in every shape, and every way. Justin was that person, and Brian would destroy anyone who tried to come between them, anyone who would try to hurt them.

Justin rolled them over, looming over his lover as he leaned in to kiss Brian. All the passion that he felt, all the love that he had for this man showed with every touch, ever kiss. He knew that Brian could do so much better then him, but he prayed that the day would never come when Brian would end things. Their love was strong at the moment, and Justin vowed to never cause Brian pain, to never allow Brian to doubt his love for him. 

Placing some lube onto his fingers, Justin began to rub them together to warm it up some. Slowly Justin began to slide one finger into his lover, trying to loosen him up, prepare him. When he knew that Brian was ready for more, Justin placed a second finger in along side the other. 

“Justin, now.” Brian moaned as soon as Justin found his sweat spot. He knew he needed more, and he needed it now. “Now… more.” Feeling the loss of Justin’s fingers, Brian tried to hold in the moan of loss when he felt Justin’s thick member at his entrance. His legs were placed on Justin’s shoulder’s allowing him to be completely at Justin’s will. “Christ!” Brian cried out as Justin pushed in to the hilt, the sudden pain shooting through him. Taking a deep breath, he listened to Justin’s words of love, as the pain began to lesson, giving him only the pleasure of being filled by his lover.

Once Justin received the signal from Brian that he was ready, Justin began to slowly pull all the way out, plunging right back in. The feel of Brian surrounding him, the warmth and tightness of his lover, was almost always too much for him. Every thing, every feeling was increased ten-fold without the thin latex between them. The knowledge that they were completely connected, that nothing could get between them, made their lovemaking so much more. Justin loved the feeling that he was the only one who would have this chance, the only one who would ever be this connected to Brian, and visa versa. It set his whole body aflame with passion – with love for this man beneath him. Just looking into Brian’s eyes, he knew that the other man felt the same way. Nothing could get between them as long as they stayed open with one another.

Brian could feel himself reaching the edge of the cliff; feel the passion build as Justin pounded into him. With each stroke, Brian could feel the electricity shoot through his body as Justin would run across his prostate. This was a feeling that Brian never wanted to end; he never wanted to be without it. He knew it was dangerous to let their captives see their passion, to let them see how much love that he and Justin shared. But Brian knew that it was impossible to not see. It was impossible to NOT show how much they loved one another. It was evident in every touch, every look. Their lovemaking was always intense, hot and passionate. It was something beyond their control, but something that he knew could cause their captors to separate them. “Justin!” Brian cried out as he felt Justin’s essence warm him deep inside. He began his release, shooting his seed across his chest.

Justin felt Brian tighten around him, and he knew he was lost. Pushing in one more time, Justin allowed his release, shooting deep inside Brian, bringing forth the other man’s release. Completely spent, Justin collapsed on top of Brian, and closed his eyes. “It just keeps getting better and better.” Justin breathed against Brian’s hot flesh.

“Yeah it does. Now, close your eyes. I think you just killed me, and I’m tired.” Brian stated, taking the hurt out of his words by wrapping his arms around Justin’s body.

“But it’s a good death. And how can you be tired if you’re dead?” Justin asked not bothering to move an inch from his spot.

“Shut up, Sunshine.” Brian pinched one of Justin’s ass cheeks, and closed his eyes.


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Ted looked over to one end of the room, catching sight of someone he knew he had seen before. Deciding that it might be his only option, he made his way over to the young man. He had heard talk of a young man who often played at the ‘special functions’, and Ted had been trying to get a chance to talk to the man. However, every time he would get close, the young man would be run off to perform. “Hi, I’m Ted.” He said as he stood beside the young man.

To Ted the man seemed alright. He had long, albeit greasy hair, and a goate. Ted could see some people falling hard for the ‘struggling artist’ act, but luckily for Ted he wasn’t one of them. “Um. Ethan.”

Ted nodded and took the young man’s hand, giving it a firm shake. “I hear that you’re a musician. Violin is it?”

Ethan’s smile got wider, thrilled that someone actually seemed to pay attention to him, seemed to be interested in him for something other than his entertainment, and sex. “Yeah. I am. How did you know?”

“I, myself, love classical music… and opera. In fact while I was in college, I actually took some opera courses.” Ted felt for the young man, feeling like the poor kid didn’t ever have anyone who would talk to him, even acknowledge his existence. “Do you play here often, or maybe part of some symphony somewhere?”

Ethan’s face darkened slightly as he shook his head. “I had a chance once to go to Europe… well if I won the competition. I came in second, so all my dreams of hitting it big just went down the drain, you know?”

”Don’t’ I know it,” Ted related. He could fully understand where the kid was coming from. It was one of the reasons why he had hit rock bottom. “You don’t seem like the type that belongs here though.”

“I’m only here in case, Mr. Dumas needs me. You know… if the call comes in that they need someone to play for them, then I leave. I’ve never been one to … indulge. Well not like this anyway. Guess, I’m a romance kinda guy.”

“Must be the musician in you.” Ted stated. He wanted the kid to open up some more. He knew he had just hit jackpot with the information this kid could give them. He was their missing link in this whole fucked up situation.

“Must be.”

“So where do you play? I would like to hear you some time? Do you mostly play Paganini? Vivaldi? Locatelli?” Ted asked knowing that he had to put all of his knowledge of the classics to work. He wanted this kid to trust him, to confide in him, and by the look on the kid’s face, it was working.

“You really know your stuff.”

“I try. As I said… I love the classics.”

“It varies, I guess, on the people I’m playing for. And where I mainly play that changes from room to room.” Ethan told Ted. “And of course trying to play in some damn warehouse isn’t easy. The sound is okay in the rooms… for the most part, but when you get to certain areas, then you can forget it.”

“Why in the world would you play in a warehouse?” Ted asked, quickly filing away the information for later. 

“It’s what ‘they’ want. They want it private… granted I don’t think all of the guys are there voluntarily.”

“Ethan, my darling. You are needed right away.” A man said coming up to the two. “I’m sorry Mr. Schmidt, but Mr. Gold is needed right away. I’m sure you will see each other again.” The man said with a raised eyebrow.

“Most definitely. I wish you the best, Ethan, and I hope to see you around again very soon.” Ted replied with a slight bow.

“Most definitely. Until later, Ted.”

Ted stuck around the party for another couple of hours, so not to cause any suspicion. When the clock read almost 1, Ted quickly excused himself and made his way directly toward Cynthia’s, not even bothering to stop off at his place. Reaching the door he quickly knocked and waited for the woman to appear. “I think we’ve got it.” He said as he pushed past the woman who looked like death warmed over, not caring that he had just woken her up.


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Brian collapsed on top of Justin, trying to catch his breath. He wasn’t sure if their sudden need to be completely connected was related to drugs or if it was just natural. He knew what he felt, and he didn’t feel the drugs in his system anymore… at least not to the extent as they had been before. So the only explanation was that it was his and Justin’s own need. “I don’t think I will ever get enough of you.” Brian whispered against Justin’s neck. 

“I know I won’t.” Justin ran his hands up and down Brian’s sweat soaked back, enjoying the feel of his lover still inside him. “It’s going to be a bitch when we get back to the real world and have to be apart for a while.”

Brian raised his head from the crook of Justin’s neck to look down at his lover. “Who the hell said we’d be apart?”

“I’m talking about when one of us has to go to work, Stud. Out there we can’t very well spend ALL of our time together.” Justin explained. Of course he had his doubts on whether or not Brian would want to spend any more time with him then absolutely necessary once they got out of there. It wasn’t easy being ‘famous’, having people crowding around you, wanting you for one reason or another. No one else had lasted, and he wasn’t a hundred percent certain that Brian would either. Yes, they loved each other, but Justin wondered if love would be enough. How much of their love was from the situation and only having each other to talk to, and how much of it was real.

He knew what he felt for Brian was very real, and he knew that without a doubt Brian loved him. But could it survive being back in the outside world? Could they survive the everyday normal hustle and bustle? “You’re thinking too much?” Brian stated as he ran his hand across the side of Justin’s face. “What’s going on in that mind of yours?”

Justin shook his head, trying to clear the awful thoughts out of his mind. He knew that he had never kept, and never planned on keeping anything from Brian. He didn’t intend to start now. “I’m just wondering if we’ll still be together when we get out of here. Can we handle being out there, and still… you know be together?”

Brian rolled off Justin, and pulled the younger man tightly into his arms. “How many times do I have to tell you, I don’t plan on changing a thing here? How many times do I have to tell you I want you in my life? Now and forever?”

“I guess, I just can’t shake the feeling that all this is a dream. That once we get out, things will tear us apart.” Justin let his fears out. He never wanted to be away from Brian… never wanted to know what life would be like without his beautiful lover. “I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t.” Brian placed his hand under Justin’s chin, lifting it so he could look into his lover’s eyes. “You really want me to do it don’t you? You really want that damn wedding…” he joked. He knew he had to get Justin out of the sudden funk he was in. Things were going to be hard enough when they returned that they didn’t need their own doubts and fears getting mixed in. They would have a lot to overcome, and Brian knew he wouldn’t be able to do it without Justin. The fears that are inevitability going to come because of their time in this place.

Fear of being around others, fear of being seen, fear of someone watching them. Hell even the fear of touching one another in public. They would have to brave it all, and overcome it. And this wasn’t even mentioning the mess that they would have to deal with when it came to friends, family, and work. 

Justin gave Brian a small smile. “You caught me.”

“I knew it.” Brian pulled Justin’s lips down to his own briefly, giving his lover a light calming kiss. “Now don’t worry too much, okay. We’ll deal with shit as it comes, and we’ll deal with it together. Cause I’m Brian Fucking Kinney and I say so.”

Justin laughed and lightly pinched Brian’s side. “And no one says no to Brian Kinney, Stud.”

“No one.”

Justin couldn’t help but laugh at the look on Brian’s face. “Now it‘s you who is thinking too much. He reached over and blew a raspberry on Brian’s belly causing the other man to laugh.

“I was thinking that you are probably too rich for me.” Brian sighed. “But then I’m not doing too badly so it isn’t as if I was dirt poor or anything.”

“Are you trying to convince yourself that’s it’s okay to love someone with too much money?” Justin looked thoughtful. “You know Brian; I have to warn you, there will be lots of speculation and lies told about us in the gossip rags. Not all of it will be about me; a good part of it will be about you. I don’t want you getting pissed off or something.”

“Justin I told you we’d deal with it together and I meant it. As long as the two of us are honest with each other, I really don’t think we need to worry. Besides, I never read that shit anyway.”

“If you’ll remember that I love you, I guess we can survive it.” Justin not only looked doubtful, he sounded doubtful. 

“Come here brat. I promise you if I start going all nelly queen on you, then you have permission to drag my ass up to your place in Canada and make me believe in our love again.”

“Good, because that’s exactly what I was planning on doing.”

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Sap erased most of the tape so that Brian and Justin’s conversation was lost. That asshole Bellwether didn’t need to know that the two men were falling in love. It would only give Bellwether more pleasure. One of his favorite things was the brain washing part especially if the men fell in love. He spliced in an older piece of footage. Bellwether would never notice. 

Saperstein had to give Kinney and Taylor credit. They were surviving remarkably well mentally. That wasn’t always the case. There had been some real bad episodes with some of their ‘guests’. 

He added only a mild dose of the drug he’d been instructed to put into their food. It was so mild it was virtually useless, but that way he could honestly tell Bellwether that he’d put it in. Bellwether always knew when someone was lying. Sap sighed. He was getting sick of this gig, but had no idea how to get himself out of it now.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Ted was wakened by a knock on his door. Rubbing his eyes he stole a glance at the clock on his mantel, and wondered who the hell would be awake at 4:30 in the morning. Once he opened the door, however, his curiosity instantly took over. “Ethan? What… come in.”

Ethan gave Ted a small smile as he stepped into the apartment. “I’m sorry to bother you so late, but I was just wondering some things that I hope you can answer for me.”

“Sure… do you want something to drink? Coffee, water?” Ted stated as he went to start the coffee pot. He knew that sleep from this moment on was going to be impossible. Whatever Ethan was wondering, it was enough to bring the young man to his door. Ted only hoped it had to do with what HE was looking for.

“Um, water.. no coffee please.” Ethan accepted the cup of steaming coffee, and held it in between his hands. “Do you know Brian Kinney?”

Ted tried to hid the shock that went through his system at hearing those words. “Doesn’t everyone? I mean, everyone’s at least heard of him. But he’s friend of an old friend of mine. Why?”

“What would you do if you knew the cops might be looking for you? If you knew something that could end up getting you killed?” Ethan asked looking up at Ted with fear evident in his eyes.

Ted moved to sit down beside Ethan, reaching over to grab a hold of the coffee cup, and placed it on the table. “I think that you have to seriously think about what it is your doing? Could the information you know save people? Is it dangerous what they are doing? If knowing that if you keep the information inside, not let anyone know, could get someone else… maybe many people killed, then maybe you should look for something to help get you out of it. You’re life is worth saving, Ethan. You have a talent, even if I have never heard it yet. If others want you to play for them, and if you got second place at the competition, then you are good. Why would you want to throw that all away because someone is forcing you to do something against your will?”

“How do you know I’m being forced? How do you know that I’m not a part of the whole thing?”

“Cause if you were a part of it all, then you wouldn’t be asking these questions, now would you?” Ted surmised. The last thing he wanted now was for Ethan to clam up. He wanted the young man to trust him, to continue to open up to him. Time was running out for Brian as the one year mark loomed closer. If they didn’t find Brian within the next month, then who knew what they would get back. “Ethan, if you are in trouble, there are people out there who can help you. People who would keep you safe. All you have to do is ask for it, ask for help. I’m here for you, I’ll help you with whatever it is that is wrong.”

Ethan nodded and stood. “Thank-you, Ted. You’re a good man. I’ll let you know, but I can say you’ve given me a lot to think about.”

“I’m here if and whenever you need me.” Ted led Ethan out of the apartment, and leaned his head against the closed door. “Just don’t take too long, Ethan. Don’t force OUR hand.”