Gone but not Forgotten By Bryant MacLagan Part Nine ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Hunter left the school yard and headed directly toward one of his old hangouts. He had told Ben and Michael that he was heading to the library to study, but that was the last thing on his mind. He hated lying to his foster parents, but he knew that if Michael found out what he was doing, any help he could give Justin would be over. Making sure that no one he knew was around; Hunter entered the small parking lot and headed toward his old friends. “Hey guys.” He called out as he came up to them. “Hunter, my man. Hear you’re living the good life now. What you doing back here?” One of the kids came up to him and gave him a hug. Hunter shrugged as he set his school bag down on the ground. “Actually, I’m wondering if you guys can help me. I have this friend who is in trouble, he needs some help, and I told him I’d check around.” Seeing the other’s reluctant look, Hunter decided to try a different tactic. Reaching inside his pocket, Hunter pulled out some money, and held it out. “Now this is yours, if you can help me. Plus, I won’t tell him where I got the information from. It’s not the cops, so you won’t have them bugging you.” One of the boys stepped up and looked at the money in Hunter’s hand. “What do you need to know?” Hunter smiled at them, pulling his hand away with the money still in it. “What do you know about a man named Bellwether?” Instantly, Hunter saw the boys start to turn away and leave. “Don’t mess with him, man. I’m telling you, he’s bad news. Keep your damn money. No one has the type of money that it will take to talk about him. Nothing is worth that.” With that Hunter was left alone, realizing that he would get no where. Picking his bag up from the ground, Hunter shoved the money back into his pocket and headed home. He would have to find another way to help Justin out. He couldn’t give up hope now. By the time he had reached the apartment, he still hadn’t come up with anything. All he knew was that he would have to talk to Justin the next day and try and see what the other man could suggest. “Where the hell have you been?” Michael yelled the instant Hunter stepped into the apartment. He’d seen him earlier and he knew that Hunter had been with his old friends. Ben had told him not to over react, but seeing the boy set him off. Hunter shrugged, and started to head toward his room. “I told you, I went to the library.” “Don’t lie, Hunter. We know you weren’t there.” Ben calmly stated. Hunter froze, knowing that he had just been caught. He would wait to find out what they knew before he said anything. “You’re hustling again aren’t you? Don’t lie to me, I saw you there with your old ‘buddies’” Michael tore into the boy, not giving him a chance to even think. “I wasn’t hustling.” Hunter yelled, wanting and hoping that they would believe him. “I told you I wouldn’t do that anymore and I’m not.” “Then why did you lie? Why were you there?” Ben asked. “I was trying to see if they knew anything that could help a friend okay?” “Who?” Ben asked, laying a hand on Michael’s arm trying to calm his lover. Ben could see that Michael was getting ready to explode, and until they knew the truth, Ben wanted his lover calm. They didn’t need Hunter thinking that they didn’t trust him, that they didn’t believe him. Hunter took a deep breath and sat down on the edge of the couch. “Brian and Justin okay? I wanted to see if I could find anything out on this Bellwether for them.” “You did what?!” Michael screamed. “Since when did you care about Justin? What lies has he told you?” Hunter stood and faced Michael head on. “Justin is my friend, and I know more about what happened to him and Brian than you do. At least I care about what’s going on, and I want to help. That’s more than I can say anyone in this fucked up family did when they went missing.” Hunter turned and ran to his room, slamming the door behind him. He could hear Michael’s curses, and Ben’s attempt at calming the other man. He couldn’t let this sway him. He had to help Justin; it was the right thing to do. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Brian waited for Justin to return to the apartment, but he never did. He thought maybe he could have been in his studio, but the door was closed and that was usually a sign that if he was there, he didn’t want to be disturbed. Otherwise Justin had both doors open; he liked the connection to Brian. Brian sighed and paced the floor upstairs until he couldn’t stand it any longer. “Justin I’m going to Babylon” he called out in case the blond was home. He realized that while he never used to account for his whereabouts, it was important now for someone to know where he was. Just in case Justin was out Brian took the time to write a short note. Of course he neglected to say why he was going to the club. But as far as Brian was concerned the fact he even wrote a note to tell his husband where he was going, was enough. He’d run into Emmett earlier in the day and the flamboyant queen had suggested that they meet later at the club. Brian couldn’t help but wonder if maybe Emmett had a few answers for him. It was enough that he might have an answer or two so Brian headed out. Besides, a little action couldn’t hurt. He’d been painfully celibate since his return. He didn’t feel it was right to fuck Justin considering the circumstance and he hadn’t the inclination to go tricking. His first stop was a drug store to get some supplies. A wash of guilt came over him as he stuffed a few condoms in his pocket along with a small tube of lube. Brian shook off the feeling and continued on to the club that had once been a home away from home. Now it only felt strange and oddly inappropriate to be walking through the doors. The wave of thump thump music engulfed him along with the smell that was uniquely Babylon of sweat and beer and colognes all mixed in with high volume music and laughter that came from the shadowed edges of the large room to swirl around his body and real him into the club’s grasp. He’d almost swear it was alive and waiting to devour him. The feel of so many men so close together caused Brian’s throat to close in a panic that he fought as he walked through to the cat walk where he hoped to find Emmett. “Have you seen Emmett?” Brian asked the bar tender when he was served his beer. “I think he was headed for the back room with Todd.” Brian nodded his thanks and turned to go find Emmett. He needed to talk to the one person who didn’t have an agenda of his own with Brian. “Hey Kinney, good to see you back.” Brian nodded at the potential trick but kept on going. The room hadn’t changed; it still smelled of stale beer, sweat and cum. The floor was sticky and the air thick. “Emmett, I need to talk.” Brian said when he found the queen. “Huh, Brian, I’m a bit busy here.” Emmett, the consummate bottom was for once topping and rather enjoying it. He turned back to what he was doing. “It’s important Em.” Brian hated to sound like he was begging. Emmett rolled his eyes. “Will you at least let me finish?” “Hurry up will you. I don’t have all night. Justin will worry if I don’t show up home soon. “ Brian didn’t see the snicker on the face of Mouse who had followed the other man into the back room. Mouse could hear the whole conversation. His friend Justin didn’t have anything to worry about as far as he could see. This guy Kinney was still in love with Justin even if he didn’t remember that he was. “I was under the impression that you didn’t care what Justin thought. Michael said that you were back being the old asshole Brian.” “I suppose that’s a direct quote?” “Well honey, it is more or less. Huuuuuuuu “ Emmett sighed. “Damn that was good thought the ambiance could have been better.” He withdrew from Todd and disposed of the condom. “Now where were we?” he asked patting Todd on the ass and turning to Brian. “I’m going crazy here trying to figure this who life of mine out. I don’t know who I can trust to tell me the truth. Justin won’t tell me much of anything, he says I have to make my own decisions. Michael, well Michael has his own idea of the truth, I’m really not sure of anything…. “Brian’s voice trailed off. Then. “Can we get out of here?” “Don’t you at least want your dick sucked?” Emmett asked. “I mean look at them, they’re almost lining up to taste you.” “Not now.” Brian tried to hide his distaste of the backroom. Something he never had thought he’d feel. “Well honey, I have only one thing to say. Justin must love you a heck of a lot to stand back and let you decide in your own sweet time whether or not you love him. I doubt very much if he even has anything negative to say. I bet he keeps his peace. Maybe you should ask yourself if anyone else in your life is doing the same. Or are they trying to influence you against Justin.” “What are you trying to say?” Brian asked, but he knew in his heart what Emmett was saying. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ As the loft door slide open, and quietly shut, Justin closed his eyes and pretended to sleep. He had gotten the call from Michael, and he knew he shouldn’t believe a word that the man said. Still he couldn’t stop the doubt that crept into his soul. This wasn’t his Brian; this was the Brian that used to go out and fuck everything that moved. Hell, Justin used to do that as well, but he tired of it, and after their time together trapped in that room, he had never once thought about it again. Never wanted anyone but Brian. After hearing Brian remove his clothes, and feeling the duvet start to lift, Justin turned to face his husband. “Take a fucking shower, you smell like the baths.” Turning onto his side, Justin tried to fight the tears that were threatening to fall. “And don’t think that you’re going to sleep here with me.” “Excuse me?” Brian asked as he crawled in beside Justin, ignoring the man’s ‘request’ that he take a shower. “You heard me.” “Yeah, I thought I did, however, this is also part MY bed, and I will sleep here if I damn well please.” Brian raised himself on one elbow so he could look down at Justin on the other side of the bed. “It’s not what you think.” “It doesn’t matter what I think, Brian. You’re not the same person I know, and so you can do whatever you want to. Just don’t think that I’m going to let you touch me after something like that.” Justin pulled the duvet over his head trying to block out the man beside him. Brian shook his head and turned onto his back. “Justin…” “Just go to sleep, Brian. I don’t want to talk to you right now. And will you PLEASE take a fucking shower!” Justin got out of the bed and moved toward the stairs, leaving Brian alone. Brian ran his hands over his face, trying to figure out just what the hell was going on. He knew what Justin thought, but the younger man wouldn’t let him explain. “Damn drama queen.” Turning onto his side, he figured he would just let Justin have his moment. In the morning he would explain and hope the blond would understand. Brian tossed and turned and then stood up and headed to the bathroom. He turned on the shower and then changed his mind, turning it off and heading to Justin’s studio. “Justin I’m only going to say this once. I went to Babylon to find Emmett. He’s been the only one of my friends who can tell me the truth. He was in the back room, that’s where I found him. We talked. I left. End of story.” He turned and headed back to the bedroom. Minutes later, Brian heard Justin’s bare feet padding across the floor. The bed sank down when Justin got in. Brian lifted the duvet and pulled it up over Justin’s shoulders. “I would never do anything that would hurt you Justin.” Brian said quietly. He shut his eyes and fell into a sound sleep, reaching for Justin as he drifted under. Justin smiled to himself as Brian pulled him close. Having his husband’s arm around him kept him safe and secure. Times like this, Justin knew that things would turn out okay. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ There were times in Justin’s life when he had to wonder just what he was doing, and why he even bothered. He hadn’t thought that anything would be amiss when Brian had stated he wanted something from the diner. Justin figured he had a small craving for some lemon bars, so he’d head in to pick them up while Brian waited in the car. He should have known that things would not have been easy. But since Brian had come in from his talk with Emmett, and Justin’s ‘belief’ that Brian had been tricking, Justin wanted to try and make it up to his lover. This, however, was not what he wanted at all, what he was prepared for. Michael stood beside Justin as the blond stood beside the counter waiting for his order. Michael was trying to get Justin’s attention, and found himself getting frustrated when the blond wouldn’t acknowledge him at all. “I told you, I don’t want you to see, talk, even look at Hunter again. Since the day you came into our lives, and you are trying to take over. I don’t know what you did to Brian, but I can say at least he’s smartening up. I won’t let you fuck with Hunter the way you did Brian.” Justin shook his head, running his fingers through his hair. He so did not want to get into it all with Michael. He looked at Michael trying his best not to sneer. “You have got to be kidding me? I’m not forcing Hunter to do anything. I told him that I didn’t think he should help me, but as my friend he insisted. I can’t tell him what to do. He’s a big boy, and from what I can tell he has a good head on his shoulders and can take care of himself. But never once did I tell him to do anything. As for Brian, you don’t know the first thing about him, me, or our relationship. So butt the fuck out.” “Brian is coming to his senses now; soon, we won’t have to deal with you anymore.” Michael’s retort sounded wrong even to his ears but he couldn’t take it back now. Justin looked over around the diner and saw how everyone’s attention was trained on him. “Brian isn’t the man you want him to be. He’s not always the man I want him to be, but that doesn’t matter. Brian is who he is, and that’s what’s important. If you knew what was going on, you would want to help him, not try and change him. You would be right there beside Hunter and I trying to allow him to make his own decisions based on facts, not some misguided attempt to make him into something he’s not.” Justin wanted to tell everyone what he believed happened, but he knew that it was none of their business. “If Brian wants you to know he will tell you what’s going on. I’m not going to do that for him. He’s a big fucking boy, he can make his own decisions, but I’ll be dammed if I will stand around and have you tell him lies. He will have all the information, facts and paperwork and he will have to decide things on his own. No one owns anyone, and if you cared about him, you would know that.” “I’m his best-friend, and I think I would know what’s going on with him. Hell, I bet you didn’t even know that he went into the backroom the other night at Babylon.” Michael had a smug smile on his face, believing that he was telling Justin something that the blond didn’t know. He wanted Justin to leave, get out of their lives. The blond had destroyed Brian, and now was working on Hunter. He couldn’t allow this fake to destroy anymore people. “Michael?” Lindsey gasped, wondering what Michael was trying to do. She didn’t want to see Justin hurt, and despite what Michael was trying to imply, she had seen the differences in Brian since his return. Differences made possible because of Justin and the love they shared. “Michael honey, I hate to tell you this, but Brian came back there to talk to me.” Emmett stepped up to the plate, knowing that he couldn’t let this go on any longer. “You are not understanding me. They are doing it raw. Do you know how dangerous that is? Do you want Gus to be exposed to that type of danger?” Michael tried to explain to his friends. Justin turned and stared at Michael. He wanted to deck the man, wanted to cause just a fraction of the pain he had been feeling lately onto the other man, but he couldn’t. He wouldn’t do that to Brian or his family. “Michael, my sex life is none of your business unless I’m fucking you. Can I just have my fucking order?” He asked loudly. “Michael, before you say anything else, I would like to suggest to you that you get your fucking facts straight.” Came a voice from the doorway. Brian walked into the diner and headed straight toward Justin, wrapping his arm around the man’s shoulder. “I was wondering what was taking so long, I guess now I know.” “Brian…” “Shut the fuck up, Michael.” Brian felt Justin remove himself from his arms and watched as the younger man walked out of the diner. Feeling a sharp pain in his chest when Justin left, Brian turned his attention on his ‘friend.’ “You don’t know shit, you don’t know me. If you did you would know that if you say one more word right now, I am going to fucking deck you. Do you understand?” Deb came up and stood beside Michael. Although she didn’t like what Michael was saying she wasn’t going to allow Brian to hit her son. “You listen to me. You lay a finger on Michael and it will be the last thing you ever do in this place. Do you hear me?” Ignoring Debbie and moving a step forward, Brian stared his old ‘friend’ in the eye. “Justin has been through hell these past couple of years, more these past couple of weeks. He’s been the ONLY one who has stood beside me through all this shit, who has never once tried to force his opinion on me. He has stood up for me, loved me, and protected me, which is more than I can say for any of you. He has no one. No one he can turn to other than me, so if he and Hunter are friends, fine. They are both entitled to have whatever friends they want. But Justin is not the type of person who forces people to do things. That’s not his way.” “Yeah, like him telling me how I can’t run my business, and ripping the mortgage out from under me. You’re telling me he didn’t do that out of spite?” Brian shook his head, not believing what he was hearing. He had checked over the paperwork, and he had seen the notes that Justin had left. Everything seemed to benefit Michael if he chose to take it. “No Michael, “ Brian began, his voice tinged with sadness,It wasn’t out of spite, Michael. If you would just listen to Justin, listen to what he was telling you, you would know that everything he said would only improve the income of the store. He didn’t do it out of spite; he did it because you were once my friend.” Turning around to look at everyone else, Brian couldn’t believe that he could ever forget what these people had done, or not done. “If any of you would have just questioned where I was at, none of this would have happened. The only one who is the bad guy here is Bellwether. Not Justin.” “Brian what’s going on? I can tell that something is wrong.” Lindsey asked from her spot in one of the booths. “Nothing you should worry about. It’s something that I have to try and deal with on my own.” Glancing over at Emmett, he gave the man a small smile. “And for your information, Michael. I haven’t fucked around on Justin. I never would. Leave him alone, just let him be. He has enough shit to deal with without adding you to the mix. He’s my best friend, my lover, my husband. Get over yourself; get past your resentment of Justin and then maybe we can work on our friendship. But if you hurt Justin again, it will be the last thing you ever do.” With that Brian turned and walked out of the diner, scanning the street for his lover. Not seeing Justin anywhere, he decided to head over to the loft and wait for Justin. The young man would come home, and Brian would wait for him. Three hours later Brian began to worry. Even though they hadn’t resumed their former relationship neither man ever went too long without the other knowing their location. He tried calling Justin’s cell and there was no answer. That worried Brian more than anything else. They had agreed to always be at least in phone contact. Taking a chance that the large black man who had been lurking around, was one of Justin’s paid body guards, Brian opened the loft door and stuck his head out. “Hey big black guy” he shouted. “You called?” Mouse drawled from the staircase. “I’d prefer if you called me Mouse.” “Mouse, where the fuck is Justin?” Brian ran his hand through his hair. “Look, I’m sorry,” Brian shook his head. “Justin is missing.” “Justin isn’t missing.” Mouse said his voice oddly high though modulated for such a large man. “I know where he is and so does Zach.” “Zach?” “Zach is Justin’s watcher. He’s maybe not as good at keeping out of sight as I am, but still in all, he’s one of the best.” Mouse laughed at his little joke. “Well where is he?” Brian glared. “Safe.” “He needs me.” Brian began to pace. “I feel it.” He looked back at Mouse. “I know it fucking sounds nuts, I just have this feeling that Justin needs me.” He walked over to the window and stared outside as if seeking his missing husband. “He’s at the warehouse.” Mouse’s voice was quiet. The anguish and genuine concern that Brian showed had moved him. “WHAT?” Brian whirled around. “HE’S AT THE FUCKING WAREHOUSE?” Brian grabbed his jacket and ran out of the loft, not even stopping to shut and lock the door. Mouse shook his head, set the alarm and locked the door before following Brian down the stairs. As he drove to the warehouse he phoned Zach. “Kinney is on his way for the big rescue. Don’t stop him, heaven knows we don’t want to get between the man and the man he loves.” He chuckled. “Sure I’ll pick up coffee when you call and tell me the two of them are inside.” ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Justin walked into the old warehouse, as if seeing it for the first time. Everything since he had left these walls months ago had changed, everything around him was collapsing. Slowly he walked the halls, leading toward the small apartment that was his home for a year. The place where he had found love, had found himself. The place that was now the only indication that it was real, that he and Brian had once been happy despite what others had tried to do. Justin knew it was wrong to be here without telling anyone. He hadn’t seen Zach anywhere but he could only assume the man was out there. He looked around the familiar and hated apartment. He saw Brian falling at his feet. He saw hazel eyes sparkling with mirth. He felt the touch of Brian’s lips on his for the first time. Stripping his clothes, Justin went over to the bed and curled up on it. He just needed a break. He just needed a couple of day to get himself in order so he could fight this. He was tired, and he needed to remember why he was fighting so hard. If they were going to survive, he needed to remember, and regroup. Justin pulled ‘Brian’s’ pillow close. He sniffed deeply sure he could still smell his husband’s scent. The faint odor of Brian brought tears to eyes and before he could take another breath, Justin found himself sobbing for the man he’d lost to Bellwether’s machinations. Here he could give into his feelings he didn’t have to be strong. He didn’t have to pretend his heart wasn’t breaking. Brian pulled his car up beside Justin’s. The little shit had gone back to hell. He noticed Justin hadn’t locked his car so Brian did it for him before walking into the warehouse. The smell of the place turned his stomach. The pain of what had happened there, what he’d been told, washed over him. And he wondered just how Justin could go back. What drew his husband to this place? Only the emergency lights were on. The corridors were shadowed and Brian could smell dust and emptiness. He could almost here the footsteps of their keepers; feel the camera’s following him, though he knew that they were long ago dismantled. The vastness and the scope of what Bellwether and Saperstein had been doing flooded his mind as he continued to follow Justin’s footsteps in the dust. Finally he came to the jail cell apartment that had been his home for damn near a year. He hesitated when his hand touched the doorknob. The stories he’d read in the newspapers and what little Justin had told him washed over him. Fuck he wished he could remember more than the few flashes of Justin. He wasn’t even sure they were memories or if they were dreams of what he wished to happen. He opened the door, not sure what to expect. There were no lights on inside and the darkness was oppressive. Heart breaking sobs came from the direction of the bed. How Brian knew it was the bed he didn’t know. He couldn’t make himself close the door for fear it would lock again, though it wasn’t possible as the lock had been broken off. He walked toward Justin and the bed as if the lights were blazing. He knew this place. He’d been here for a long time but never in the dark. Justin couldn’t hear him he was crying so hard. Brian sat on the side of the bed and gathered the other man in his arms holding him tightly. Justin’s grabbed him like a drowning man would a life preserver. “Bbbbrian.” He sobbed. “I’m sssssorrry.” “There’s nothing to be sorry about Sunshine.” Brian pulled back slightly and wiped Justin’s eyes with a corner of the bed sheet. “Hey baby, nothing is that bad.” He kissed the next tear that fell. “I know that this really sucks. I know that you love me and I love you. I know I do. Every fibre in my body tells me I love you. I might not remember everything that happened from the time we were thrown in together, but I know what I feel in my heart. And what I feel is you.” “Rrreally?” Justin hiccupped. He snuggled his head in under Brian’s neck. Brian began to rub circles in Justin’s back while at the same time he was kissing the other man’s face. “Really” Brian whispered. “Make love to me Sunshine. Let’s make love in this little piece of hell and reclaim what was ours as free men.” “But you don’t remember.” “I hear it’s like riding a bike, you never really forget.” Brian’s lips sought Justin’s as their hands found buttons and zippers. Afterward, Justin lay cradling Brian. It was a familiar position for them both, though Justin wasn’t sure that Brian remembered completely. Perhaps it was only instinct that had the taller man wrap himself around his smaller partner letting Justin hold him. Or perhaps he did remember the security he always craved after making love that only the sound of Justin’s heart beat and the feel of his arms could give him. “Justin.” Brian murmured. “Hmmmm” “This feels right.” “Yes it does.” “I love you.” “I know you do, and I love you too.” “Knowing that you loved me, no matter what, was always there in the back of my mind after that first day.” Brian sighed. “I felt like such a shit because I couldn’t remember. I didn’t want to hurt you.” “Brian, it wasn’t your fault.” Justin rubbed the other man’s arm, his touch reassuring. He leaned forward to kiss the top of Brian’s head. “I was sure that you would come back to me. I knew it would just take time. You’re too good of a person for Bellwether to ever fuck that up for us permanently.” “No one, and I mean no one has ever believed in me like you do Justin. It makes me try harder.” They like that in silence for awhile. Both of them lost in their own individual thoughts about the past months and what the future would bring. A knock at the apartment door startled the two of them. “Justin, Mr. Kinney, I’m sorry to bother the two of you, but the wrecking crew is here to begin. They need to move the furniture from this room.” Mouse chuckled. “They’ve done all the rest of them. I guess you guys were busy and didn’t hear them.” Justin sighed, kissed Brian again and said. “Okay Mouse. We’ll be out in a few minutes.” “I’ve got coffee and bagels in the car if you both want to stay and watch the building come down.” Justin looked down at Brian, though there was barely enough light for him to see. “What do you think Stud, should we stay and watch them plow this place under?” “I think we should at least watch them start. It will be good to see it gone.” Brian chuckled, “but damn we had some good times in this bed.” “We sure did” Justin laughed. “I’ll never forget.” “I may have forgotten some of them, but my body didn’t.” Brian remembered only two hours before his body arching into the thrust of Justin’s thick cock. “We’ll be right there.” Justin called; he felt the hardening against his leg. “Right there Sunshine?” Brian teased. “I think I can last longer then that.” – “Give us half an hour Mouse.” “No problem” Brian and Justin didn’t wait to hear the closing of the door before being lost in the wonder of each other once again. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Brian watched the doors of the courtroom close. Justin was on his own, just when he needed Brian’s support the most. Because Brian was also going to testify, they wouldn’t allow him in during Justin’s testimony. Brian paced the length of the marble corridor before sitting on a bench placed so that he could watch the double doors. He leaned down, his head resting in his hands briefly as he tried to clear his mind. Instead racing through it were flashes and bits and pieces of memory. It was happening more and more these days though he hadn’t told Justin. Now that he was sure it was actual memory, he wanted to savor each one like a favorite piece of candy. It was only the good memories. The times of laughing lovemaking, of passion and joy that he remembered. There was probably other times, but for now, he was satisfied with these. Walking into the large courtroom, Justin headed straight up to the stand and faced Daniels. He couldn’t look at the men who sat at the Defendant’s table, since he knew he would lose it if he did. He would have to look at them, but he only wanted to see them again that one time. The man who had tried to destroy his life many times and the man who was going to try and destroy Justin on the stand, he knew they were sitting happily at their table. They still thought that Brian didn’t have any memory; they still thought that they could win. Justin only hoped that Brian could help, if for nothing else then to corroborate the story he was about to. “Raise your right hand and repeat after me.” Justin did as he was told and sat down. “State your name and occupation for the record. ”Justin Taylor-Kinney, I’m an artist.” “Mr. Kinney, can you tell us the events that occurred on the night of April 24th of last year, “ Justin took a deep breath, remembering the facts that he had gone over with the DA just days before in his prep. Looking at the jury, Justin began to tell them everything that happened, from leaving his apartment all the way up to his waking in the small room. Everything that he could remember he explained. He knew that everything would come out one way or another, even the details that Justin didn’t want to share, but as he glanced down at the small gold bracelet on his wrist, his connection to his husband as was his wedding ring, he knew he would have to do it. Brian couldn’t remember, not all of it, so it was mostly up to Justin to at least lay the ground work. Brian was the surprise, but Justin was the foundation to this whole case. If he messed up, then all was lost. He couldn’t let Brian down, not when the man was so willing to put everything on the line. Brian was willing to do anything to get the remainder of the memories back, to try and put some order to the ones he now had. “When you were finally released from your captivity, did you see anyone outside of the room?” “Yes, I saw the FBI agents, two of Brian’s friends Cynthia Moore and Ted Schmidt, and Bellwether and Saperstein.” “Are any of those men in this courtroom now?” “Yes. Bellwether is there at the defense table wearing a charcoal suit, with a cream color shirt.” There was so much more Justin wanted to say, but withheld though his tone of voice spoke volumes to the jury. He wanted to say that the man was wearing a shit-eating grin and glasses that looked completely out of place on his face. Turning his attention back to the DA, Justin bit the inside of his lip to keep the chill that had fallen over him from the look Bellwether had given him at bay. Daniels walked over to his table and pulled out some papers in a plastic bag. After informing the court of what hey were and having them admitted, Daniels handed them to Justin. “Can you explain to the court what these letters represent?” “These are letters that I had received over the years, threatening letters.” “Do you know who wrote them?” “There was never a signature on them, but I had my own thoughts.” Justin looked at Bellwether. “Who?” “Objection your Honor, this witness is not an expert in handwriting samples. He cannot testify to the validity of these documents and would only be speculation.” “It was Mr. Bellwether.” Justin answered quickly before the Judge could tell him not to. “You’re honor?” The Defense attorney practically begged. “The witnesses last statement is sustained, the answer will be stricken and the jury is instructed to disregard the statement.” Justin smiled inwardly, knowing how hard it was to take a statement away with just a simple word. No matter what the Judge said, the jury would keep that in the back of their minds, even if they couldn’t use it. “Have you ever meet Mr. Bellwether before your imprisonment?” “Your honor, we object to the counsel’s characterization. To state that my client had anything to do with what happened to Mr. Taylor is in question, not a fact.” Justin glared at the incorrect name. “Your honor there is no doubt that Mr. Taylor-Kinney and others were held against their will. I am not implying that Mr. Bellwether had anything to do with that, we let the evidence speak for itself.” Daniels glanced over to the defendant’s table and gave the attorney a small smile. He just loved correcting the defense on Justin’s correct name. He knew that the other attorney did not like the fact that Brian and Justin had married, the man was not living in the present, and Daniels would make sure that he reminded the man of that fact. Justin looked at the Judge and saw the older man was getting frustrated. “I would like to see both of you in my chambers immediately. We will take a 30 minute recess. Mr. Kinney, I don’t need to remind you that you are under oath.” “No your honor.” As the jury left the room, Justin stood and headed out of the room for a break. Spotting Brian sitting on a bench in the corner, he headed directly over there and laid his head on his husband’s shoulder. “Wake me when people get a fucking clue.” Just being close to Brian, having the other man touch him and being able to hear his heart beat calmed Justin down and strengthened his resolve. He threaded his finger’s through Brian’s. Brian held Justin close to him, trying to block out everyone else around them. He could feel the tension in his lover’s body, and see the pain in the man’s eyes. And then as he held him, Brian could feel his husband relax under his touch. They both knew that this would take a lot out of them, take a lot out of Justin. Brian could only be there to help Justin through this, help his husband make it out of this in one piece. It made Brian more and more determined to remember as much as he could. He had to for Justin’s sake. “Just rest for now, and once the day is over we’ll go home and shut the door. No one will be able to touch us there.” “No one but our own memories.” Justin whispered against Brian’s neck. “It’s strange. It’s like having to relive it all over again.” Justin lifted his head and ran his fingers across Brian’s cheek. “And the funny thing is, we haven’t even gotten to the worst part. It’s all been basic questions. They haven’t asked for any details yet. I don’t know how…” “You’ll get through it, I know you will.” Brian laid Justin’s head back against his shoulder, running his hand across his lover’s back. “I believe in you. I love you, and we’ll get through this. I promise.” And Brian realized that despite everything; despite Bellwether’s attempt to brain wash him and Michael’s attempt to pull them apart, that he and Justin would always be together, because it was the only ‘right’ thing in the whole damn mess. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ “Mr. Kinney, please explain to the court what happened after Mr. Brian Kinney came into the room.” Justin took a deep breath, gathering his wits about him. Now they were starting what he knew was going to be the most difficult part… one of the most difficult anyway. He began telling them about how they had discovered the lack of certain supplies, how he had told Brian about the cameras and the consequences if they covered up too long. “We would never have a moment’s peace. The lights were always on, and you could watch as the cameras followed us throughout the room.” “Did you see anyone enter your room during that time?” “Only while we were pretending to be sleeping. Someone would come in and drop off food and stuff for us.” “And what if anything did you discover about the food you were supplied with?” “We believed that they were drugged in some way. When we didn’t … perform they increased the drugs.” “How did you find out about the drug increase?” Justin closed his eyes, remembering the affect it had on his body, how he had felt. “I became sick. I couldn’t move, my heart felt like it was going to beat right out of my chest. Eventually, I just passed out.” “Do you think that you could have died?” “I’m not a doctor, but I believed that I might have. Brian did too. He knew I have a lot of allergies, I mean I’m even allergic to Tylonal.” Justin added before the defense could object. He knew that they didn’t like the whole idea of the drugs, or alleged drugs being brought into things, but Justin knew it had happened. He could have died, and no one … with the exception of Brian, would have cared one bit. Daniels knew that the defense despite Justin’s fears could not object to drugs being in their system. The drug screening that the FBI did on all the men who had been rescued showed heavy and long-term use. Plus the evidence of the drugs in the food, water, and syringes proved that. “Were you scared?” “Yes. For me and for Brian.” “Was there another time while you were there that you were scared for your life?” “Yes.” “When?” Justin glanced over at the jury, trying to figure out if they believed him. The fear that ran through his body during those last few days at the warehouse still lived with him. Hell, everything about that damn place still lived within him. “We, Brian and I, had heard reports of people missing a year, and then returning with no memory of what happened to them.” Justin felt his throat constrict, knowing that their fear then had only been delayed a couple of months. It wasn’t until these last couple of weeks that Justin really felt what it was like to lose everything. “Anyway, we knew since I had a bad reaction before to the drugs, that I might not make it. That whatever they did could kill me.” “But that didn’t happen did it?” “Not then, but later,” was all Justin wanted to say. At that moment, Justin wanted to go home. He needed to be sure that it was in fact Brian waiting for him, that they hadn’t lost. He knew it wasn’t rational; he’d left Brian outside the courtroom. He could still feel his husband’s kiss, but he needed to see him. “Have you ever had any meetings with Mr. Bellwether?” “Yes. I would often see him at some function or publicity thing I had to attend.” “Did you get along with the defendant?” “Not really. Our views were not the same on a lot of things, and I guess you can say we disagreed on different occasions.” Justin could remember many times in his past when he and Bellwether would get into heated disagreements at certain functions. There had been a time before his parents died, when his father had yelled at him for hours because of his improper way of behaving. “Mr. Bellwether showed up to one such function. We got into a verbal disagreement on the way gays were viewed in society... to put it nicely.” “Did the incident get physical?” “No.” “Was that the only time you had gotten into an argument with Mr. Bellwether?” “No. Many times over the years we had been placed in situations where we would have public debates. I think one time, if I remember correctly it was even on TV here in Pittsburgh.” Justin finally did steal a quick glance over to the man at the table, and gave him a small smile. Justin had called the man a complete fraud on national television, saying that the man who proclaimed to be the voice of gay men, was self-centered and did not care what happened to anyone but himself. That had been the last time he had heard from the man. Well the last time that he could prove. Justin had not heard from the man until the day after his parents were killed. He only wished he could prove that Bellwether had something to do with that. The judge looked down at his watched and called it a night. Justin was once again reminded that he was under oath, and informed everyone that they would begin again in the morning. Standing, Justin headed straight out of the room, avoiding Bellwether who was not far behind. He wouldn’t, despite his wanting to hurt the man, do anything. He only hoped he could keep Brian at bay, once he reached his lover. He knew that if Brian saw their ‘enemy’ all would be lost, Brian would attack and there was nothing that Justin could do to stop it. Brian could hear the shuffle of feet in the court room. He stood up; sure that Justin would be out soon. When the doors opened, Justin was among the first out and it was all Brian could do not to run through the halls with him and get him as far away from the place as possible. Walking up to Brian, Justin immediately put himself in between his lover and the man coming out of the courtroom. “Brian, let’s go home.” Linking his arm around Brian’s waist, Justin led them out of the courthouse. ‘Tomorrow’s another day,’ Justin thought leaving the hell behind him for the rest of the night. “Justin, are you okay?” Brian asked concerned for his husband. He’d seen Bellwether and he wasn’t unaware of Justin’s attempts to keep them apart. Apparently Justin still didn’t know him well. He wouldn’t confront the man, but he’d damn well get even eventually, if it was the last thing he did. Only he was smart enough that whatever punishment he had in store for the man, no one would ever be the wiser. “I’ll live. I want to get away from here.” He began to tremble as they walked through the court house doors into the sunlight. Reporters began shoving microphones at them and shouting questions. Brian looked panicked for a moment and then seeing Justin’s face, quickly moved the two of them through the crowd. Mouse and Zach appeared and soon Brian and Justin were alone. Brian held the door to the car open for Justin and then leaned in and did up his seat belt. “I’m not helpless” Justin grumbled, but he liked the attention. Brian kissed the end of Justin’s nose before moving to his own side of the car. “I know you aren’t helpless, but can’t you at least pretend you are. I could use the ‘knight in shining armor points’ Justin giggled and Brian smiled at the sound. “Only girly men giggle.” He teased. “Fuck you.” “Okay, but it is my turn.” Brian leaned over and kissed Justin soundly. “But first I want to see Gus if that’s okay with you.” “I want to see him too. I think he’s the best thing that’s happened to us both. It makes everything in our life worthwhile.” “I agree.” Brian drove toward Mel and Lindsay’s his hand on Justin’s thigh. “I don’t even want to think of the Court House or Bellwether or any of it until we have to.” “Ah, a man after my heart.” Justin smiled and leaned his head on Brian’s shoulder. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ The last thing that Justin wanted was to even be up on the stand that morning. All he wanted was to stay in bed with Brian, but he knew that it wasn’t possible. When they had arrived at the courthouse that morning, they had to wait at least 30 minutes before Justin was called back in. They were told it had something to do with some motion or whatever, and Justin only hoped that it wouldn’t affect anything he was talking about. He hoped that Daniels would keep in him informed if anything major came up. As he sat down in the chair in front of the courtroom, Justin glanced over at Daniels and gave the man a small smile. “Yesterday, we were talking about the drugs. Was there at time when the drugs affected Brian Kinney?” Justin hated that this had to be brought up, remembering the frightening moments surrounding that moment, and the hours he waited for Brian to wake up. “Yes.” “Can you explain what happened?” Taking a deep breath, Justin slowly let it out. “It wasn’t long after we both arrived. Brian was getting frustrated, and the drugs were having some reaction to his system.” “How do you know that it was the drugs?” Justin had been surprised by the interruption, but quickly shook it off and tried to put his mind back into those moments. “His eyes were really dilated, moving all over the place.” “Continue.” “Anyway, everything seemed to make things worse. You know, um, no clothes, the towels laying on the floor beside the door, we still hadn’t gotten the blankets back for the bed. I don’t know, he just lost it.” Justin could remember the brief shot of fear that went through him as Brian’s anger started to peak. “He started to throw things, what there was anyway. The next thing I knew he had grabbed my throat, and slammed me against the wall. I couldn’t breathe, and I honestly thought he was going to do something, that he would hurt me.” “Do you think he would have rapped you?” Justin sat for a moment to honestly think of the answer. He wanted to scream no, that Brian would never do anything like that to him, but he had to think real about it. At that moment, Justin was afraid. “I think he might have, yes.” He choked out. “But they came in… three of them. They grabbed a hold of him, and shoved a needle in his neck. I tried to fight them off, but they pushed me against the wall. A second later, Brian was on the ground unconscious, and the men had left.” “What did you do then?” Justin closed his eyes, trying to stop the tears from falling down his face. Why did they have to start the day off with that? Why couldn’t they have just forgotten that, like Brian had? “I picked him up, and put him on the bed. He didn’t wake for a couple of hours.” “What happened when Brian woke?” “We talked, both agreed to try and ease into the drugs, since it seemed like we didn’t really have a choice. We would eat only what was necessary, and slowly start to eat more. Same with drinks. We knew the drugs had to come from somewhere and the food and drinks were the only possible way it could get to us.” “So you tried to starve yourself?” “I wouldn’t say we starved. We did eat, and we did drink. We both just started off with small portions then larger once our bodies became accustomed to the drugs. We didn’t want to die, but we both knew that there were dangers involved if we took in too much.” “Like violence?” Justin nodded, having already explained it all. He didn’t want to go over it all again. “Yes.” “And what was Brian’s reaction to what had occurred?” Justin remembered the long days after that incident when Brian wouldn’t get within ten feet of Justin, which was incredibly difficult since they lived in such small quarters as it was. “He felt bad at what almost happened. It took a while for him to trust himself again. I can say he never did get that upset again. Well not for a while anyway.” “When was that other instance?” “When I almost died because of the drugs they were giving us. I almost OD’ed, and Brian was furious then. I don’t remember much cause I was out of it, but he had told me later…” The last part of the sentence was drowned out by the Defense councel standing up and calling out in the court. “Objection your honor, hearsay.” “Sustained.” ‘Bastard,’ was the only thing running through Justin’s mind. End of Part Nine