Chapter Four May 2011 Brian sat next to Jacob and Bartlett in the large auditorium as the VIP’s began their speeches. Brian knew he would have to calm himself before he was called to the stage, it wouldn’t do anyone any good if he was upset. And he was upset despite Justin’s efforts at getting rid of Jack and Joannie. He smiled thinking of his feisty blond boyfriend who would do anything to see him happy. He still couldn’t imagine what he’d done to deserve someone like Justin. Seeing his parents there had thrown him for a loop, one that he wasn’t sure he could overcome. Luckily Jack’s sucker-punch didn’t leave a mark. That was the LAST thing he needed. Brian knew now that he would be able to follow through with his plans. He knew now that it was the right decision for him. This day would be the best in his life…he hoped. He felt Jacob’s hand lightly touch his arm and he turned to give the woman a small smile. They were both receiving awards for being the top two in the class. Brian was glad that he had her up there with him. “Cadet Stacy Jacob and Cadet Brian Andrew Kinney.” Came the announcement. Both Brian and Jacob moved up the stairs onto the stage. “Cadet Jacob, for showing excellent leadership abilities, and for your hard work ethics, we present you with this Letter of Achievement, Certificate of Achievement, and Letter of Appointment to the JAG Corps. Congratulations Ensign Jacob, we wish you the best at your next command.” “Thank-you, Sir,” Jacob stated as she shook the Admiral hand with her right, and took her awards with her left. Standing straight, she saluted and moved off to the side. “Cadet Kinney.” The Admiral began as Brian stepped forward. “For showing outstanding leadership abilities, work ethics, and the best attention to detail and naval regulations I have seen in a Cadet in years,” the Admiral began with a small smile on his face. “I present you with Letter of Commendation, The Naval Achievement Medal for being the top in the class of 2011, and your Letter of Appointment to the U.S. Navy SEALs.” Brian felt the pride that was flowing off of the Admiral. “Congratulations Ensign Kinney, we wish you all the best in your further training and your next command. You will make one hell of an officer.” Brian shook the Admiral’s hand, and retrieved his awards. Stealing a quick glance at the documents in his hand, he saw one other sitting on top. He saw the personal Letter of Recommendation from the Admiral himself standing on top. Brian stood as straight as he could and snapped his best salute to the man whom he admired and had taught him so much. “Thank-you, Sir. I will try to do you proud.” The Admiral smiled at Brian as he returned the salute. “You already do, son. You already do.” ~~~***~~~***~~~*** Justin watched Brian receive his awards. He didn’t even try to stop the tears, not caring who saw. He felt a nudge and looked beside him. A woman handed Justin some tissues and whispered. “That’s my daughter who just won an award. Is that your brother?” “He’s my lover.” Justin whispered back fervently. “Thanks for the tissues; I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I cried during the Pass in Review too.” “It was that song wasn’t it – the one by Lee Greenwood.” She said and nodded her head. “It got me too.” Before turning back to watch the rest of the ceremony. ~~~***~~~***~~~*** Brian continued to pack the last of his belonging into the boxes that Justin had brought up from his car. He had already completed his check out earlier in the day, since he had no intention of staying long after the final ceremony. He wanted to graduate and leave, now it was becoming a reality. Stealing a quick glance at his lover as Justin packed up the few civilian clothes that he had, Brian couldn’t help but smile. He still couldn’t believe how his life had changed since that day in October. And to think he was actually angry with Lindsay over bringing up the ad to begin with. Shaking his head, Brian returned to his packing. “What’s so funny?” Justin asked as he heard Brian’s small laugh. Brian turned to look at his lover and shrugged. “Just happy. Is that allowed?” He said with a smile, taking the sting out of the words. “You know, this is the best day of my life… well what I hope will be the first of many.” “Despite your parents showing up?” Justin asked still a little worried about his lover’s reaction to seeing his parents. “Even with them showing up.” Brian moved over to where Justin was and took some shorts out of the other man’s hands. “It showed me something. Something that I had seen before, but I guess with my thick skull it didn’t really register until now.” Justin took Brian’s hand in his own, and sat down on the bed, bringing Brian down beside him. “What’s that?” He asked curious as to where his lover’s mind was. Brian stood up from the bed and sat on the edge of the small desk facing Justin. He knew that if he was near the blond he would never get the words out that he wanted to. He would never get everything out into the open like he wanted to. He wanted Justin to understand how much he meant to him, and being that close to his lover, Brian knew that he would try to use his touch to convey what his heart was saying instead of the words he wanted to use. Brian took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He looked down at the ring on his finger, the class ring that Justin had give him, and smiled. This was what he had to do. “No one has ever stood up for me like that. Especially not against Jack and Joannie. No one.” “They were wrong, Brian. You didn’t invite them, you didn’t want them here. And to say that shit… today of all days.” Justin looked down at his hands. “I wanted to hit them for causing you pain.” He said honestly looking back up at Brian, letting the man see the truth of his words. “I don’t ever want you to feel unwanted like that. Your pain is my pain.” “It means a lot to me that you did that.” Brian whispered. “And I love you for it. Hell for everything you have given me, Justin. Because of you I am the man I am today. I am a better person, and I hope a better officer than I would have been if I had never met you. I can’t imagine what my life would be like if you weren’t here.” Justin smiled, letting the love he felt toward the man show on his face. “I feel the same way. Luckily we won’t have to find out. At least not if I have anything to say about it.” “Somehow I don’t doubt that.” Brian laughed as he pictured Justin standing up to anyone who got in their way. Talking down to anyone who ever said a cross word about him. Brian knew without a shadow of a doubt that Justin meant what he said, and he would follow through with it no matter what. “So I wanted to ask you something, and I want you to think about it. Don’t just answer me, say what I want to hear. I want you to think about it, long and hard.” Justin felt a sudden sense of fear run through his system. Was Brian telling him that he wanted to end things? Or did Brian want to cool things down until after his training? “Okay, I promise.” Justin stated, trying to calm himself. He knew he had to hear Brian out before he reacted hastily. “Okay,” Brian began. He took a deep breath wanting to calm his nerves, and racing heart. Even a year ago, Brian never thought he would be in this position. Now he found himself looking at the man of his dreams, the man he wanted around for a long time, and feeling his nerves lessen and his resolve fortify. “Do you remember when I brought the Stingray back that next weekend?” He asked and saw the answered nod from Justin. Giving a small smile, Brian once again recalled his lover on that day. “I saw you, Justin. I saw the look in your eyes as you ran your finger across the base decal.” Justin blushed, slightly embarrassed at being caught in his secret fantasy. “It just looked right being there. I can’t explain it.” He tried to reason. “I think it was more than that. If you ask me, I think that it was a look of longing. Like you wanted that for yourself. You wanted to be a part of it.” Brian explained. “Now tell me the truth… would you mind getting one for your car?” Brian asked, wondering if Justin would get his meaning. “I’m sure we could. I mean if you wanted to take my car instead of the Stingray. Yeah, sure. It might be a smart thing to do.” Justin replied. Brian lowered his head and ran his hand though his hair. “I’m not saying this right.” Catching Justin’s confused look, Brian moved from his spot to where Justin was. Kneeling down in front of Justin, he took the other man’s hands in his own. “What I’m trying to say is … do you want to be my partner for life. It won’t be easy, I’ll be away a lot, and I know that everything will change. I’ll move around a lot, and you’ll have to give up your job… but all I know is, I want you there with me. No matter where I am, no matter where I go. Justin would you do me the honor of marrying me?” Brian asked as he pulled his class ring off of his finger and held it out to Justin. “We can put it somewhere else until you decide. But I want you to have it… to think about.” Justin looked up at Brian, tears running freely down his face. “Do you know that it’s all I have thought about since Christmas?” Justin took the ring from Brian and with Brian’s help placed it on his left ring finger. “Yes, I will marry you, Brian Andrew. Kinney.” With the ring now firmly placed on his finger, Justin reached up and pulled Brian toward him. He had to be close to him, be with him. Now. Slowly Justin began to remove Brian’s jacket as the two fell back onto the bed. They weren’t going anywhere for a while, and both men had all intention of showing each other how much they loved one another. They both needed to feel the other completely to seal the deal. “I love you, Justin Kinney.” Brian said with a small smile as he looked down into the shining blue eyes of his lover. “You have just made me the happiest man on the planet.” “And you me, my husband.” Justin answer then proceeded to show Brian just how happy he was. The party would have to wait; they had their own celebration to get to. ~~~***~~~***~~~*** “Justin who are all of these people? I thought we were just inviting a few.” Brian looked around the crowded living room. People were eating and talking in groups. Brian recognized more than a few people from the base. “I did only invite your two friends, but they each called me and asked if they could bring a few others. It seems you were greatly admired by quite a few of your class and looked up to by a number of the lower classmen.” Justin kissed his cheek. “I couldn’t really say no because I kind of understand how they feel. I’m so proud of you and happy and they are too.” “You could have warned me.” Brian grumbled but somehow pleased none the less. “Hmmm, you could have warned me that this was going to be an engagement party so I think we’re even.” Justin looked again at his ring gleaming on his hand. “I didn’t know if you were going to say yes.” Brian looked into Justin’s eyes. “I know I don’t show it all the time, but I still can’t believe you love me.” “Brian Kinney, Navy Boy extraordinaire, I have loved you since I saw you standing in the doorway of a certain restaurant.” Justin pulled Brian’s head down and gave him a passionate kiss that left them both breathless when they broke apart to everyone clapping. “Hey Kinney, that’s some kiss.” Ensign Bartlett said. “You’d almost think you liked the guy.” Brian held up Justin’s hand. “I not only love him, I like him and best of all he’s agreed to marry me.” It was the first any of their friends had heard. Up until then everything had been too busy with the ending of the day, the packing up of Brian’s room and the beginning of the party to tell anyone. “Justin Craig Taylor, you shit.” Daphne yelled from the other side of the room. “You’re going to get married before me.” Everyone burst out laughing. Lindsay walked over to the happy couple. “So Brian are you still pissed about that little modeling job?” “Linds, we’ll name our first born after you. Oh yeah, we can’t have kids, so how about we name our first cat Lindsay.” Brian joked. “Don’t do me any favors” Lindsay said with a laugh. She kissed both of her friends and whispered congratulations to them both. Brian and Justin didn’t have a chance from that point on to even move. Person after person came up to them to congratulate them. Stacy Jacobs was talking to Brian when a piercing whistle was heard and the words. “Admiral on deck” rang out. The former cadets all snapped to attention. Justin looked over at his front door, and standing inside having been let in by Daphne, was Admiral William Smith. “No rank in the mess” he said as he made his way to Brian and Justin. Gradually the party noise began again. He held out his hand to Justin who shook it while on automatic pilot. “Justin, my friends call me Smitty, I just stopped by because I had word that you and Ensign Kinney here are engaged. I wanted to be one of the first to congratulate you both. It isn’t easy being married to a SEAL, my three wives will tell you that.” He laughed. “But you look like a man who’ll last.” “Thank you sir.” Justin said. “Brian makes it easy.” “Well, son, don’t be surprised when the Brian you’ve fallen in love with changes as the years go on. It won’t mean he doesn’t love you the way he did in the beginning. It just means he’s a good SEAL and you have to learn to live with that. Not many can.” “I can sir. I’m tougher than I look.” Justin squared his shoulders and he looked at Brian with all the love in his heart showing in his eyes. “It’s nice to know he has you looking out for him sir.” “I always have since the moment I first met him. And I always will. There’s something in you Ensign Kinney that reminds me of me when I was younger. I only wish I had someone like your young man here to stand by me. It might have made me less of a grouch.” He laughed at the look on Brian’s face. “I know what they say behind my back, not much escapes old Smitty.” “Ensign Kinney, I understand you have a flight to meet at twenty one hundred. I’ll send my car to take you both to the airport. Have a nice flight and a great honeymoon. You’ll need something to remember when I have you in my clutches for thirteen weeks.” He laughed and turned around to leave. “What the heck was that all about?” Justin asked. “How did he know we were getting married?” It only happened this afternoon.” “I’ve learned in the last four years that very little gets past him.” Brian admitted. “Very damn little.” ~~~***~~~***~~~*** 19 May 2011 To my Future Husband, Fuck, it’s strange to think that, let alone write it. Today we will be getting married. It’s frightening yet, I can’t stop the happiness that is flowing through my body. I know I’ve said this before, but this time, I know for a fact that THIS is the best day of my life. There will be another day like today. Never. I’m still not sure if this is a good idea. I still think that maybe we are making a mistake. I know what I want, I know I want you with me forever, but I can’t help but wonder if this is right for you. I don’t want you to ever regret marrying me. I don’t want you to hate me a year from now… 10 years from now. I want only the best for you, Justin, and I don’t want to disappoint you. I only hope I can be the man you deserve. I guess for now, though, I will take what I can get. I will bask in the knowledge that we are together, for better or for worse, and all that other BS. I just hope we’re not making a mistake. Fuck it, I’m happy. I have the hottest guy. I will have the hottest, sexiest spouse around. So why not be happy while it lasts? Why not just take what I can get and hope for the best? Know that today, Justin, you have made me the happiest man alive. I will do everything in my power to protect you, to love you, to keep you safe. Nothing will ever touch us, nothing will ever take away what we are sharing today. I love you, with everything that I am, and everything that I have. In two hours, we will be standing on the beach, beginning our life together as a couple. Thank-you for this. Thank-you for loving me. Thank-you for giving me today. I love you, Justin Craig Taylor-Kinney. From now until the end of time, I love you. You are my Avalon, forever and ever. Your future husband, Brian ~~~***~~~***~~~*** It was their second night in their private haven when Brian held Justin against his chest, both staring into the brightly lit fire. Brian still couldn’t believe that Justin had agreed to marry him; it still felt like a dream to him. He felt safe and loved, and he was the happiest that he had ever been. Then reality began to sit in. Brian knew that their life was about to change. He knew that from the moment that he stepped foot on the base he would change. He didn’t know if he could do that to Justin. “You’re thinking too much,” Justin said against Brian’s naked chest as they sat against the couch. “What’s wrong?” Brian looked down at Justin then turned his attention back to the burning flames. “I’m just thinking about whether or not this is the right thing to do.” Brian said, not sure he could look at his lover and see the pain in his eyes. Brian knew that Justin would be hurt by his words, but he wanted to be sure Justin knows the truth. “Things are going to change for us, Justin. I might not be the same man in 6 months that is here now. I might not be someone you can recognize, or love.” Justin moved his head off of Brian’s chest and with a gentle touch to Brian’s cheek brought the other man’s attention back to him. “Brian, no matter what happens, I know who you are. Nothing can change that. You may be someone different on the outside, but who you are; the man I love will always be here.” Justin explained laying his hand on Brian’s heart. “Nothing can change that.” “I just don’t want you to regret this, you know. Once we do this, there’s no turning back. Who’s to say that I change so much that you hate me? That you want out? I don’t know if I could survive.” Brian tried to get his lover to see reason. He knew he wouldn’t survive if Justin ever hated him, if he ever regretted their time together. “You heard what the Admiral said, Justin. I will change; I will have to keep things from you. Do you honestly think that you will be okay with that?” Justin moved so that he was sitting on Brian’s lap, blocking the man’s view of the fire, and forcing Brian to look at only him. “I will never regret this. There will never be a time when I don’t want this.” Justin could see the protest forming in Brian’s mind, and he halted it with a finger to Brian’s lips. “It’s true, Brian. You have become a part of me, and how can I ever regret feeling complete for the first time in my life? How can I ever regret loving you? I know, okay. I know without a shadow of a doubt that this is right, that this is forever. Nothing will change that, nothing will change the way I feel about you.” “I know that things will change, Brian. I’m not stupid. But I also know that it’s a part of life. It’s who we are, who we will become. We will be able to get through anything as long as we’re together. If you start doubting us now, what will we have?” Justin told his lover. “Together we are eternal. I can feel it. So stop your silly little musings, and just give in. You’re stuck with me, Ensign Kinney, so learn to live with it. I’ve got you now and I’m not letting go.” He added with a smile as he leaned down to kiss Brian on the lips. “So no more talk about not being together. Understand?” Brian shook his head, and pulled Justin’s body closer to his. He still had his doubts, he always would. He wanted the best for Justin, and knew that if the time ever came that Justin had had enough, Brian wouldn’t protest. He would give Justin everything. But for now, Brian knew he would take what he could get. His feelings for Justin would never change, he only hoped that if the day came that Justin didn’t want him, he would be able to survive. “Yes, sir.” Brian whispered in Justin’s ear, keeping his thoughts to himself. He tried not to think about this being the first of many secrets that he would have to keep from Justin. “Good. Now tell me about what’s going to happen in the next six months.” Justin stated as he moved off of his lover to lay his head on Brian’s lap. Brian leaned back against the couch and lightly ran his hands over Justin’s golden locks. He loved the feel of Justin’s silky hair gliding between his fingers. “Well for the first five weeks is Indoc. I’ll be able to leave base every night for a while, at least until it gets closer to the main part of the training. From what the Admiral told me, this is where we’re going to be taking the final tests and stuff to make sure we’re cut out for the training. We’ll be taking physical tests and written tests so they can see where we will be placed.” “What type of physical tests? I thought you just had your physical test three weeks ago.” Justin asked. He remembered Brian complaining about the semi-annual test, Justin also remembered the many pictures he had of a hot and sweaty Brian. He loved the physical tests, although he would never tell Brian that. “This one is different.” Brian began. “Here we have to meet the SEAL standards. We have to do a lot of shit in little time. Starting off with a 500- yard swim in less than 12 minutes, 42 push-ups in 2 minutes, 50 sit-ups in 2 minutes, 6 pull-ups, and a mile and a half in 11 minutes, in boots and uniform pants, which they never did at the Academy. You get basically only 10 minutes between each test.” Justin stared up at his lover, amazed at what was required. He couldn’t even do 10 push-ups let alone any sit-ups. Now all those early morning runs and workouts made more sense to Justin. “Damn,” he breathed still shocked at what Brian would have to go through. “I can't even begin to … I’d never be able to do that.” Brian smiled down at Justin, and lightly pinched his lover. “That’s why the SEALs are the elite of the elite.” Shaking his head, Brian laughed at the picture of Justin trying to do the exam. “I’d love to see you do the pull-ups. I can say this though… you’re damn good at that. Too bad the testing isn’t sexual in nature.” “Brat,” Justin replied, laughing, as he lightly hit Brian in the chest. “Don’t make fun of me.” He pretended to pout. ”Oh,” Brian whined as he put his own lip out. “I’m sorry. I’ll never make fun of you again. Do you forgive me?” “Shut up,” Justin laughed. “You know I do. Just watch it, Navy Boy. One day I’ll beat you at something.” “You already do, brat.” Brian stated as he leaned down to kiss his lover. Leaning back against the couch, Brian continued to explain the coming months to Justin. “After Indoc, the next 8 weeks will be the actual basic training. I won’t be allowed to be off base then at all. Hell, from what I hear, I’ll be lucky to get any sleep at all.” Brian shook his head with a small chuckle. “There’s this week called Hell week. From what I hear, you’re lucky if you get 4 hours of sleep at all that week.” “They can’t do that, can they?” Justin asked suddenly worried about his lover’s health. A person couldn’t survive on that little of sleep could they? “Don’t worry Justin, it’ll be alright. A lot of other guys have gone through it. It’s what they do, out there on missions. Remember out of the hundreds who start this training only 3 percent of the guys make it though the first 13 weeks. Most drop out.” “You won’t be one of them. I know it. You’ll make it though and be a SEAL,” Justin said with conviction. He could tell that Brian was beginning to doubt if he would be able to make it through the training. Justin didn’t want Brian to do that. He wanted Brian to realize that he would make it, that his dreams would come true. He didn’t want Brian to think that all the hard work he had done in the past four years were for nothing. It would destroy the man. Justin couldn’t allow that. Brian smiled down at Justin, love and thanks showing in his eyes. “My own cheering section.” “It’s the truth.” Justin said with conviction. “You’ll make it through.” Brian nodded then proceeded to tell Justin about the rest of the training. Once the basic part of it was over, Brian would be able to come home every night… well most nights anyway. The last 22 weeks would be the rest of the training, between dive training, parachute training, and Land Warfare, Brian was grateful that he would at least be able to come home and relax on some nights. At least he would since he would be married. There was one positive thing about marrying Justin, Brian realized. He would have the blond with him, no matter what. ~~~***~~~***~~~*** Wedding Day – May 2011 “Justin will you hold still,” Daphne with her hands on her hips looked at her friend in exasperation. “I told you I’m not wearing a tie.” Justin insisted. “This is a very informal wedding.” “Fine, be like that. Just what do you want to wear?” “This” Justin held up a silk gauze shirt in a pale shade of blue, almost white. His trousers that lay on the bed were also gauze but this time white. They left nothing to the imagination at all. “Justin, you’ve got to be kidding.” Daphne laughed out loud. “Everyone will be able to see all of you.” “No they won’t, I have a white thong to wear with it.” He held said thong up triumphantly. “If that’s what you’re wearing as the blushing bride, what is Brian wearing?” “I don’t know, he wouldn’t say.” Justin peeked out his door hoping to see a sign of his husband to be. But Brian was no where to be found. “I think he and Lindsay headed out somewhere.” Daphne volunteered. She actually knew what they were up to but wasn’t about to tell Justin. “He is coming back isn’t he?” Justin asked. “He’s really nervous about this Daphne. He thinks he’s doing the wrong thing.” “Doesn’t he love you?” “Hell yes he loves me and I love him. He thinks that he’s going to change when he’s a SEAL – you know go all broody and introspective. And that he’ll be like living with some kind of Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde kind of guy.” “He might not be far wrong Justin. In the psychology that I’ve studied that very thing happens. It has a lot to do with his job and the things he has to do because of his job. Some of them aren’t very nice and unlike most guys, he won’t be able to talk to you about them, also because of his job, so he’ll internalize.” “Then it’s up to me to make sure that he knows I love him all the time no matter what. I have to understand that his job comes first.” “But will you be able to that? What happens the first time you plan to be somewhere together and his job interferes? What happens if he’s away on some mission on your anniversary or your birthday or Christmas?” Daphne sat on Justin’s bed. She didn’t want to hurt her best friend, but he had to be aware of this. “Daphne I’m not some dumb blond you know. I have researched what Brian is training for and I’ve talked to a few people. I know it’s going to be hard once in awhile, well most of the time. But it doesn’t matter. We’ll have each other and it’s not like he’s going to be a SEAL forever. He will retire or go up in rank enough that he doesn’t have to do combat missions.” “Justin that might never happen.” “I don’t care. Brian’s the man for me and even one day as his husband would be better than none. So for better or for worse, we’re going to be together. Besides, it’s not as if I have to sit at home and knit, I have my own career. I’m planning on painting and maybe I’ll do a little free lance work for Matt or some other advertising firm.” Daphne got up and put her arms around her friend. “I’ll always be there for you Justin. Don’t forget that. So if you want to bitch and moan give me a call. That way you can be little Susie Sunshine for your Navy Boy.” “Thanks Daphne, I appreciate your offer.” Justin kissed her cheek. “Now get out of here so that I can shower and dress.” “I though as the maid of honor I was supposed to help with that.” “Not on your life Daphne.” Justin said. “We aren’t five anymore. I don’t want you to pine for what you can’t have.” “In your dreams” Daphne said with a laugh. She left and hurried outside to do what Brian had asked of her. The small gazebo had been delivered earlier. It had taken a lot of persuasion and agility to keep Justin from noticing the arrival. Daphne headed there now to finish adding the flowers to it. She looked over at the next beach house and waved to the group of men standing on the porch. Justin was going to be so surprised. Finally the time arrived when the wedding was to take place. Brian slowly made his way from the beach house next door and stood with the justice of the peace inside the flower covered gazebo. He was breathtakingly handsome in his dress uniform. Lindsay stood beside him dressed in white as well. Seated in a few chairs to watch were some of Justin’s friends from his work. They wouldn’t have missed it for the world. Brian had issued the invitation unknown to Justin. He wasn’t having the man he loved get married like some little shop girl in Vegas. Music began to play and Justin walked out of the house, his arm through Daphne’s. It was then he caught sight for the first time of the gazebo with Brian and Lindsay as well as his friend from work. Between the music and the people Brian had gathered together Justin could feel tears well up. And then he saw Brian clearly. Dressed like something out of the movies. His white uniform impeccably pressed, he stood ramrod straight, a smile of delight on his face as he watched the man he loved walk toward him. As Justin moved past the sight line of the other beach house, the men who had been waiting there filed out to join the wedding party, though Justin didn’t see them. They were forming an honor guard with ceremonial swords for Brian and Justin to walk through the arch they made once the ceremony was completed. The ceremony was moving and even their honor guards were hard pressed to keep any tears from welling up. The word’s: ‘I, Justin Craig Taylor, will love and cherish Brian Andrew Kinney, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, from this day forward ‘till death do us part.' ‘I, Brian Andrew Kinney, will love and cherish Justin Craig Taylor, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, from this day forward ‘till death do us part.' Rang out clearly in the early evening air. The sun cooperated and began to set in a fiery display of red, gold and purple when the two men were pronounced married. They turned and the wedding march began and Justin’s eyes grew big at the six men standing, swords forming an arch for them to walk through. He looked at Brian questions in his eyes. “For you pretty boy, a wedding to remember.” Brian whispered before taking Justin by the hand and walking through the arch formed by his fellow officers. Afterward Brian stood with Justin watching everyone eat the lunch that Daphne and Lindsay had prepared. “We could have had this catered.” Justin said. “I know, but our friends wanted to do this for us.” Brian could barely take his eyes off of Justin. “I bet you are the most handsome not to mention beautiful bride ever.” “Bride, you’re the bride.” Justin replied. “And you aren’t bad yourself.” ”I can’t be the bride. I’m in dress white’s mister. Navy Tradition.” Brian explained as he lightly pinched his lover’s ass. “Besides, in that outfit… let’s just say that it doesn’t leave much to the imagination. You have everyone drooling all over you. Should I be jealous? Going to go and run off with Rod?” “Not on your life! You’re stuck with me, so get used to it.” Justin turned around so that he could wrap his arms around Brian’s waist. “I’m in it for the long haul, Navy Boy.” Justin laid his hand on the back of Brian’s neck and pulled the other man down for a long passionate kiss. “I love you, and I’ll stand beside you. From now until eternity. We promised Avalon, remember.” “Forever my Avalon.” Brian whispered against Justin’s lips as he plunged his tongue into his husband’s mouth. “My husband.” Pulling away enough to rest his forehead on Justin’s Brian stole a quick glance over to the group gathered at the tables. “When do you think they’ll leave?” “Not soon enough.” Justin replied, wondering if he could sneak away and start his honeymoon off with a bang. ~~~***~~~***~~~*** Justin stretched in bed, enjoying the feel of Brian’s head resting on his chest, and Brian’s arm wrapped tightly around his body. Just the feel of his husband’s flesh against his own, brought a sense of peace to him. ‘Husband. Fuck I’m married!’ Justin thought with a smile. Justin knew that they would have to talk about what the next coming days would consist of, especially since Brian was required to report to the base in a week. Justin had to try and decide what HE wanted to do. Neither one knew where Brian would be stationed after his 38 weeks, which unit he would be assigned to, but Justin knew that no matter where Brian went, he would be right there beside him. He had his man, and he wasn’t going to let him go, no matter what. “Why aren’t you asleep?” came the sleep-filled voice of his lover. Justin smiled a little as he ran his hand through Brian’s auburn locks. “I’m happy. Isn’t that allowed?” Justin answered back, replaying Brian’s words from the day at the Academy. Justin knew he would remember every word, ever caress, every kiss from that day. It was the day that he knew that Brian was his. The wedding only confirmed it. It was the day Brian proposed, that Justin knew it was forever. The wedding was amazing. He couldn’t believe the gift that Brian had given him. Having all of his friends from work there had been something that Justin had never thought would have happened. Passing through the honor guard as husbands, gave Justin the strength he knew he would need to get through the years ahead. It was like he was officially becoming a ‘Navy Wife’… no ‘Navy Spouse’. The Navy accepted them, and now all he had to do was earn that honor. And he would. He would stand by his man, through thick and thin. He couldn’t let Brian down. Brian raised his head off of Justin’s chest, and lightly kissed his husband. “There’s only one reason why someone should be up at…” Brian began as he glanced at the clock. “two in the morning, and I don’t think reflection is one of them. In fact, I know the only thing that someone should be awake this early for.” Brian stated as he began to glide his hands across his lover’s chest and down between Justin’s legs. Lightly running his hand over Justin’s growing erection, Brian smiled when he heard the slight intake of breath. “Now how about we continue to consummate this marriage. No more words, no more thinking… Show me what it’s like.” Both men proceeded to show the other what they were feeling. No words were spoken as they let their bodies do the talking. When the sun began to fill the room with morning light, the two lovers finally closed their eyes, confident in their love for one another. ~~~***~~~***~~~*** Brian walked into the kitchen and spotted Lindsay and Daphne sitting at the table. He took the offered cup of coffee from his friend’s hand and sat down at the table. “Don’t we look satisfied.” Daphne stated as she looked at Brian. “Well fucked, I might add.” Lindsey laughed. “So how was your wedding night?” Brian looked at the two women and shook his head. “None of your damn business, ladies. Besides as a future SEAL it is my duty to not discuss things of a TOP SECRET manner.” He smirked as he took a sip of his coffee, letting the warm liquid bring life to his body. “Besides, get your own life, don’t live vicariously through us. Get laid… get fucked. Something!” He sat there and began to have images of the women and what they might do. “Fuck!” he cursed as he slammed his cup down on the counter. His wide eyes caught the two women staring at him in confusion. “Gross. Just… fuck! Justin!” Brian yelled as he quickly got up from the table and headed back to the bedroom. Daphne and Lindsay looked at each other and burst out laughing. “Think he has a problem?” Lindsay asked through her laughter, trying to act innocent. Trying not to sound like she had just enjoyed seeing Brian’s scared look. “I think he’s going to get some good ol’ gay loving.” Daphne answered. Both women heard a yelp in the direction of the bedroom as they heard moans coming from down the hall. “Oh yeah. Most definitely.” Both women just continued to laugh all throughout breakfast, knowing exactly what was going on just down the hall. ~~~***~~~***~~~ “Goodbye girls.” Brian stood on the small veranda, his arm around Justin’s shoulders; Justin had his arms around Brian’s waist. “We’re glad you came but it is our honeymoon.” “Brian, don’t be mean.” Justin whispered but he knew what Brian meant. It was one thing to have his man to himself and quite another to know that two nosey females were just down the hall despite the relatively sound proofed rooms. “I’m not being mean, I’m being truthful, I can’t stand it when I’m cuming and you’re moaning and they are laughing. It puts me off my stride.” “What a well trained Navy Boy like you?” Justin teased as he waved to the two girls who were now backing out of the driveway. “Quiet brat, we’ve got important stuff to do.” Brian began to lead Justin inside. Justin was surprised when instead of heading to the bedroom; Brian led him to the kitchen table. “Kinky Brian.” Justin giggled. “It’s not what you’re thinking.” Brian pulled out a file folder from his duffle bag that had been sitting in the pantry. “I thought that you emptied that.” Justin nodded at the bag. “I have now.” Brian opened the folder. “I have a bunch of things I need you to sign and I’m not sure of all of your information.” He spread out the papers. “As my spouse, there is tons of stuff that we have to make sure you have entitlement to.” “Like what?” Justin was curious; he picked up one of the papers. “There is the matter of life insurance, pay allotments, base security needs some info, and you need parking passes and passes for the officer’s mess and any building that civilians can go in on each base. I don’t ever want anyone to hassle you. I want you covered every which way you can be. No one hassles my husband.” “Do we need to do this now?” Justin tried not to whine. He looked toward the bedroom. “Let’s get it over with this afternoon. Then we can play.” Brian had his military voice on so Justin knew not to argue, but he did smile to himself. He liked a forceful Navy Boy. “In that case, we’d better go to the bank and make my account joint. I want you to have access to everything I have as well.” He looked at Brian and wondered if he should tell him now about his house. Taking a deep breath Justin began. “Brian, you know how we promised to be together as much as we could?” “Yes” “And you know how you are going to be all over hell’s half acre during the next few months training?” “Spit it out Justin.” Brian looked at his husband. “I’msellingmyhouseandalreadyhaveanoffer.” Justin blurted out and then looked away. “What the fuck did you say?” Brian had some idea but he thought he’d heard wrong. “The house, I’m selling it. I’m seeing my lawyer when I go back to finalize things and I’m putting this one in both of our names. We can buy another house when we know where you’ll be posted. Or we can rent on base if it’s a short posting.” “No fucking way Justin. What about your job, your career? Shit, that house was where we first made love.” Justin could see that somehow Brian felt at a loss over the sale of the house. He rounded the table and pushed until he was sitting on Brian’s lap. “Brian what is in the house is just things. Things that can be moved where ever we’ll be or put in storage. The point is, my home is with you, no matter where that might be. As long as it is physically possible for me to find you, I will be either on the base or as close to what ever base you are on. You can kick and scream and sulk but I won’t budge on that. Your job is to look after the country. My job is to look after you. We both have important jobs. Personally I’m thinking mine is the most important, but then I’m not a Navy Boy, only someone who loves one.” Justin kissed the end of Brian’s nose and then tenderly kissed his lips. “And Brian, I’m an artist. A damn good artist, I can paint anywhere in the world, though I admit if you are sent to Antarctica I might not do too many landscapes. I can work and be happy where ever we are.” “Justin I’m damned if you are going to give up your career to be a Navy wife. This isn’t what I wanted for you when I asked you to marry me.” “What did you want Brian?” Justin asked quietly. “I wanted you to be there for me. I wanted to be there for you…..” he began. “You wanted someone to love you, to cherish you, in sickness and in health and that’s what you have. I wouldn’t ask you to give up the Navy because the Navy is part of who and what you are. Just like you wouldn’t ask me to give up my art, because that’s a part of me. But Brian, my art is just a part of what makes Justin Taylor-Kinney breathe. You are the other part. I promise you that if I ever feel the need to be somewhere apart from you, I’ll tell you. But until then, you can’t deny me my rights as the man who loves you.” “Besides, working in the ad field is not who I am, Brian. If I leave there I will still be me. More of me. Art is who I am… not an ad man. So you’re not making me be someone I’m not. Understand?” Brian rested his forehead against Justin’s as he thought of what Justin had said. “I can’t talk you out of this can I pretty boy?” “Why waste our time?” Justin replied. “I’m only going to win this war.” He placed his lips on Brian’s and began his favorite mantra. “I want you, I need you, I want you inside of me, now.” Over and over he whispered the words as he punctuated them with kisses until any thoughts of banks and paper signing were forgotten in their haste to find the bedroom. The next day of course, reality set in. The day was fast approaching when Brian had to report to Naval Amphibious Base in Coronado. Justin sat at the table and dutifully signed where he had to sign. He was surprised at the amount of paper work that was involved. Brian laughed and told him this was only a small part of it. And that when they arrived at the base, he’d be give ID that identified him as Brian’s spouse and that it was important not to lose it. Not to be outdone, Justin dragged Brian off to the local bank. He’d had an account there since he was a child and it was where he kept the main part of his finances. “Brian it’s like this. We’ll always have the Baja house. No matter where in the world we go, this place will always be here for both of us. Think of it as our safe haven. No matter what shit we’re dealing with, this is a neutral zone. You’re going to need that and so will I.” “And you’ll have the house in Maryland.” Brian stated, not giving up on that argument yet. He would be dammed if Justin gave that up. His husband was NOT going to be sitting around waiting on him. Not if Brian had anything to say about it. Justin thought he had won that war, but Brian knew that it was only beginning. He wasn’t going to let Justin give everything up for him. “We’ll see.” Justin replied as made their way into town. Brian decided that he would make his point to his husband another time. Now he had other things that he knew they would fight about. ‘One argument at a time,’ Brian decided. ‘One argument at a time. Fuck this married shit is hard.’ “I want to get a safety deposit box then.” Brian said. “I have one, I’ll make it joint.” “I want one for myself, I’ll make it joint to, but I have some things that I’d like to keep there.” Justin felt a twinge of hurt that Brian didn’t want to share what he was putting away in the box. Brian must have sensed it for he pulled Justin close. “Justin, there is nothing in my life that you can’t be part of. If you want to check out what I’m putting in the box, go ahead. I just really would prefer that you didn’t until the time is right and you’ll know when that is.” Justin sighed. He realized that this was probably the beginning of Brian’s secret life as a SEAL. As much as he wanted to know what it was and as much as he hated to have secrets from each other, Justin knew that this was almost a test. He put his hand on Brian’s arm. “Brian, I trust you with my life. And I trust you with yours. I will never pry into things that involve your job. I’ll never force you to choose.” Brian shut his eyes for a moment. He stroked Justin’s arm idly. “I love you pretty boy. Thanks for understanding.” Justin’s hand covered Brian’s and their platinum wedding bands caught the sun. Engraved in fairie script the words ‘go deo mo tearmann’ glowed reminding them both of what they were to each other. ~~~***~~~***~~~*** 27 May 2011 Dear Justin, This is the last entry in this book. The first book of many. We’ve been married now almost a week and I know now that there will be tons of ups and downs. Hell if the arguments we’ve had lately are any indication, life will never be boring. I just wish you would listen to reason, and keep your life outside of me. I don’t want you to give up your life…your house! I guess this is just one more thing that we will have to talk about some more. Anyway, in a couple of days we’ll be off to San Diego. Things will change for us. I only hope we’ll be strong enough to make it through. To see our first anniversary. No matter what, Justin. I love you. Even with the fights. You’re fiery spirit, and love for life is what will get me through. My Avalon, Love always, Brian. ~~~***~~~***~~~*** Brian left Justin alone in the house to paint as he headed into town to start the process of his ‘gift’ to Justin. He hoped that this would never have to become a reality, he hope that Justin would never have to be forced to look into the contests of the safety deposit box, but he was enough of a realist to know that it just might be. His chosen field might just take the choice out of both of their hands. Brian knew that this was a necessity. He had enough talks with the Admiral to know that his wives had resented the fact that things had to be kept secret. They had hated that there was a part of his life that they could not be party to. Brian had sworn that Justin would always know what he was feeling, what he was thinking. Even if Brian couldn’t tell Justin with his voice. He would tell Justin everything deep within these leather bound books. Brian stood off to the side, and set the book down on the small table. Pulling out his pen, Brian began to write. He wanted Justin to know what he was feeling, what he was thinking. Every day, Brian would write something. That was his pledge to Justin, even if the blond didn’t know it yet. Brian wouldn’t keep Justin in the dark. Brian finished his letter, determined to start every book off basically the same way. Telling Justin what was being held within the cover. He also knew that he would keep a spare key tapped to the lining of the current book. Justin would know where to look for the others if the need ever arose. Justin would know what he was thinking and feeling. In the end Justin would have no doubt as to what he meant to Brian. Setting the book carefully into the box, Brian closed his eyes. It was done. From this day forth, the lies the secrets would all be answered and stored in this box. He only hoped that Justin wouldn’t need to open it, that Justin wouldn’t need to see them until the day Brian retired from the Navy. Then all bets were off. But Brian knew that one day Justin would read them. Until that day, they would be safe. “Until next year.” Brian said in good-bye to the attendant. ~~~***~~~***~~~*** End of Chapter Four ~~~***~~~***~~~***