Chapter Fourteen December 6th 2013 Justin had waited patiently for this opportunity. Emmett had gone back to bed with a sinus headache after making Justin promise to call him if he needed anything. It had been two days since he’d seen the woman named Jennifer Taylor and Justin was burning up with curiosity. So using the telephone in the kitchen, Justin called his friend Jose the cab driver to drive him back to the village. He was careful not to knock his crutches against anything and he did leave Emmett a note telling him he’d be back in two hours. He just didn’t say where he was going. This time he had Jose drop him off at the small store after arranging to be picked up in an hour. The picture he’d admired was gone from the window and in its place was a painting of the sea. It was beautifully done as well, but it wasn’t the same. “You came back” her voice sounded resigned. Justin had walked into the shop which appeared to have a variety of gifts and things as well as Jennifer Taylor’s paintings. “Of course I did. How could I not come back when you acted so strange?” Justin worked his way toward her voice doing his best not to knock the awkward crutches against anything. “How did you hurt your foot?” she asked. “I was trying to paint some seals on the beach down from the villa I’m renting with my husband and I slipped on the rocks.” She gave a small laugh. “That happens - you almost kill yourself for a painting and the seals don’t care. They probably sit where they do to lure foolish young artists to their deaths.” “That’s what my husband thinks too.” Justin said with a smile. “But I just wasn’t watching where I was walking.” “The young man with you the other day, he’s your husband?” she asked. “Heck no, that’s Emmett, he’s a friend from home. My husband is a Navy Seal. He’s stationed at Rota.” “He must be brave, your husband, to be a SEAL.” “He’s the bravest man I know.” Justin agreed. “Your family must miss you. Are you and your husband stationed at Rota for long?” “I have no family, well no real family, Emmett is part of my made up family and Brian, my husband is my family.” “If you don’t mind my asking, what is your name?” Her voice was almost hesitant. “Justin, Justin Taylor-Kinney.” “And your childhood, was it happy?” “I don’t remember much, if anything from before I was five.” Justin hesitated. “I was sent to boarding school when I was five.” “That’s very young to be sent away from your family.” “Why are you asking me all these questions?” “You remind me very much of someone I loved long ago.” She hesitated. “I was seventeen and like you, I attended boarding school.” She sighed. “I met someone, he was the handsomest man I’d ever met.” She smiled at the memory. “His name was Harold Patterson, Seaman Harold Patterson. He swept me off of my feet.” Jennifer laughed to as she looked back. “He had blond hair and the bluest eyes I’d ever seen. We were in love, very much in love. But he had to return to his ship and before I was able to send him my first love letter, he was killed. The United States staged an intervention in Lebanon and then there was a bombing of the Marine barracks. I was never quite clear where or how he’d died. But I never heard from him other than one short letter that came two days after his ship sailed.” “I’d want to die if Brian was killed.” Justin spoke quietly. “I wanted to die too. But I was pregnant with his child. It was all that kept me alive.” “The little boy who you have in the paintings?” “Yes, my little Justin.” Her eyes clouded over. “We were poor but happy living here. I thought I’d be able to hide forever. But one day my father and brother swooped down and took my life away. You see in those days, when you are barely eighteen and an unwed mother, you have no rights. I might have fought harder if I’d had any idea what they would do. But they had convinced me it was for my own good that my baby is put up for adoption. I couldn’t give him what he needed, but someone else maybe could.” “What was your brother’s name?” Justin could barely breathe. “Craig, my brother’s name was Craig Taylor; he was married to a woman named Margaret.” “My paren’t names were Craig and Margaret Taylor. I don’t remember them much. I rarely ever saw them.” Justin looked down not wanting to believe what he was thinking. “I have a picture of my Harry, do you want to see it?” she asked. Taking a framed picture off of a shelf behind where she was sitting, Jennifer handed it to Justin. “Do you see now why I was so upset the other day?” The picture could have been taken of him had he been wearing a Navy uniform. The eyes were the same and so was the smile. “This is Harry Patterson?” something about the man in the picture looked familiar to Justin, he couldn’t quite figure out what it was. “I know a Harry Patterson, he’s retired from the Navy, he works for Brian and I at our place in Virginia. I think he’s in his late fifties.” Justin continued to study the picture. Could it be Harry when he was younger? Justin couldn’t take all of this in. He looked around almost panicking at the implications. “I’ve got to go” he said and started to back out the door. “Wait, don’t go.” Jennifer pleaded. “I have to go. My taxi will be here any minute. They’ll be missing me at home. I’m not supposed to be even out of the house.” “Sit down, the taxi isn’t here yet.” Her hand touched Justin’s arm, her eyes pleaded with his. Justin sat down abruptly on a small bench that sat against a wall. “Justin, I’d like to get to know you better.” She hesitated and then went on. “I don’t know what this all means. But I do know that both of us deserve some answers for the last twenty eight years, five months, three days that you have been gone from my life.” Her laugh was bitter. “There hasn’t been a day, an hour, a minute, that I haven’t thought of you and missed you.” Tears began to fall down her cheek. “I promised myself that if you came back I wouldn’t cry.” She tried to smile. A horn honked outside. It was Justin’s taxi. “I’ve got to go.” He stood up abruptly, and barely managed not to fall on his face. If it wasn’t for the crutches, he would have. “Take my home address and phone number. If you want to talk, I’m at home Tuesday and Thursday afternoons.” Justin stuffed the paper in his pocket and left the small store. His eyes were haunted and his hands were shaking with emotion. He looked back only once and then forced himself to get into the waiting taxi. ~~~***~~~***~~~*** That night Justin waited until Brian was asleep to get out of bed and as quietly as he could, go to the telephone in the kitchen. The six hour time difference between Spain and Virginia meant that Harry should be still up. “Harry?” Justin asked hesitatingly when the phone was answered. “Justin, my boy, what can I do for you?” The gruff voice of his old friend made Justin smile despite his anxieties. “Oh, I just called to talk. I couldn’t sleep.” Justin lied. “Is Brian home?” “Yes, he’s home. He won’t be going on a mission now until after Christmas I hope.” “Wonderful, the two of you could do with some time together. I understand the week with the ‘family’ was a tad stressful for all concerned.” “Maybe, but Emmett is still here. Brian thinks he can keep me busy and off my feet while my ankle heals.” “Your Brian is a good man Justin. He puts you ahead of himself whenever he can. It can’t be easy for him having Emmett around. I always thought he was a bit jealous of the easy way the two of you have.” “I don’t know about jealous,” Justin gave a half laugh. “Trust me boy I know. “My wife was jealous of my first girlfriend until the day she died.” “Do you think Brian would be jealous of Ethan?” “Of course he would.” Justin sighed. “Did you know your first girlfriend long, is that why she was jealous?” “No, I think it was because she knew that I had never forgotten her. She was my first love and I loved her dearly.” “What happened?” “I don’t really know. I went out to sea, there were a few skirmishes going on at the time, it must have been about 1983. I wrote to her dozens of times, but I only had one letter back and that was all. Not even a ‘Dear John’ letter. I looked for her on my next leave but I couldn’t find her. She wasn’t from around where I met her. She’d just been visiting. I couldn’t find anyone who would tell me a damn thing. I guess I looked for her off and on for years in every port my ship landed in. One day I met my wife and she convinced me to give up on my dream of finding Jennifer. So after awhile I did. But you know Justin, I’ve never forgotten her, I guess I never will.” He paused and Justin could hear the other man sigh deeply. “Next time you’re stateside, I’ll show you her picture. It’s a bit worn; it’s been in my wallet for a lot of years.” “I guess I know why your wife was jealous.” Justin said quietly. “The thing is Justin; I should never have married her. But I had been lonely for a long time and --- well it just happened. But I had made my bed and by god I lay in it. I might not have been the best husband in the world, but she wasn’t the best wife either. We got used to having one another around though. I do miss her but not as much as I miss my Jennifer. You know there’s a bit of Jennifer in you, maybe it’s the tilt of your head or something. I think that’s why I took to you right off.” “Maybe” Justin’s mind was whirling. “I’d better let you go. I’m sorry if I disturbed your evening.” “Hey, that’s what I’m here for Justin. You call whenever you want to talk. Goodnight boy.” “Night Harry.” Justin hung up the phone and then sat at the kitchen table staring out at the night sky. He sat there thinking about his life and how it could have been if fate had worked the way it was intended. The sun was coming up before he moved slowly back to the bedroom and Brian’s warm body. “Hmmmm, pretty boy, where’ve you been?” Brian said sleepily. “In the kitchen, I couldn’t sleep” Justin’s voice was slurred. He was tired now; he snuggled close to Brian and fell asleep. ~~~***~~~***~~~*** Justin found himself standing in front of Jennifer’s door the next Tuesday and then Thursday again. It was killing them both learning about her life and Jennifer learning about his childhood. And it was killing him inside keeping it from Brian. Never before had he held so much back from the man he loved. He knew it was wrong, but he’d never had a real mother before and he selfishly wanted to keep her to himself. That was also tearing him up inside and now it had gone on so long he didn’t know what to do. Emmett was no help, he was threatening to tell Brian that he’d been sneaking out on him. How could he tell Emmett he’d found his mother, and his father, though he hadn’t even processed that yet. How was he going to tell Harry? Justin called him almost every night now after Brian went to sleep, but he never had the nerve to say the words. And now Brian wanted to take him on their Italian vacation for Christmas. Justin wanted to stay with his mother, but he wanted Brian to be happy as well. He’d ignored his man just a little too long. Maybe in Italy he’d be able to tell Brian what had been happening to him. Maybe Brian would forgive him for keeping it to himself. That is if he could forgive himself for not telling Brian. He felt like the worst husband ever and he didn’t know what to do about it. ~~~***~~~***~~~*** Brian sat at the bar, trying to think about how his life had changed in the past couple of weeks. Since that week after the gang had left to head back to the States, Justin had been distant. He kept replaying the conversation that Justin had with him that night, and nothing came to him. There had been times in the past week that Brian had arrived home a couple of times to find his husband not there. He knew he had to find out what was going on, so he was waiting for Emmett to meet up with him at that small dive outside of base. “This is a nice little place. Cozy, familyish, and I must say that the view is excellent,” Emmett stated as he sat down next to Brian at the bar, looking around and admiring the men who walked around the bar. “Yeah, nice. Now… would you mind telling me just what my dear husband is up to.” Brian asked as he downed a shot. He figured that he might need a little help to get past whatever Justin was planning. Emmett took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Cosmo.” He asked as he tried to think of a way to get out of this without Brian killing him. Emmett decided that he would have to tell Brian, had decided that late the night before. He could only hope that Brian wouldn’t be too angry with him. “I really don’t know.” “What the fuck do you mean, you don’t know? You’re supposed to be with him 24-7 that’s the reason why I wanted you here?!” Brian cursed, his voice rising with every word that was spilled out of his mouth. “JesusFuckingChrist. What the hell have you been doing?” “As I told you before, Justin and I went to that cute little village close by, remember that?” Brian nodded in answer. Emmett knew that this would be a problem as he took another deep breath. He quickly took a sip of his Cosmo for strength. “Well it seems like … well since then, he has been leaving before I can stop him.” “What do you mean, before you can stop him? What does he do? Knock you out… run quickly with his broken foot and crutches!” Brian asked, staring at Emmett. “It’s not like he can do much, he can barely even walk!” “Well he’s sneaky. He almost always gets me onto something, or has me go look for something around the villa, then the next thing I know he’s gone.” Emmett tried to reason with the irate man next to him. “I have told him that he shouldn’t leave like that. I told him that if he wanted to go out, I would take him, but he’s not listening to reason.” “And just what the hell is he going? What is he doing?” Brian turned in his chair so he could look at Emmett, raising his eyebrow at the man. Brian could feel the anger within him build. He had allowed Emmett to stay in hopes that the man would watch out for Justin, that he would keep his husband safe and out of trouble. Brian was beginning to wonder if he could trust anyone to keep an eye out for Justin. He was wondering if he could really trust anyone to keep Justin safe. “I don’t really know. All I know is that he’s going to that same village every day… for hours. He won’t talk about it, but I know that whatever is being said or… done, bothers him. He’s come back into the house with his face all red like he’s been crying.” Emmett told Brian knowing he would have to let the man on everything. He didn’t think that Justin was cheating around on Brian, but whatever it was couldn’t be good. Whatever it was bothered Justin, and Emmett hoped that Brian would fix it. All Emmett wanted was for Justin to be happy, and it seemed like the young man wasn’t at this moment. Brian only nodded, and downed another shot. Emmett ached at the obvious pain Brian was in. He only hoped that these two could work things out and fix things. ~~~***~~~***~~~*** Brian sat in his car, parked on the side of the road, watching as the taxi Justin was in pulled out of the driveway of a small house. Brian had decided that he needed to take matters into his own hand and find out what his husband was up to. As the time moved along, Brian sat there watching for any sign as to what Justin was up to. ‘It could be another one of his surprises,’ Brian thought, but found that unlikely. If it was a surprise then Emmett wouldn’t be so worried. Justin would have tried to include Emmett in things, and would actually hide things better. He knew things hadn’t been easy for them lately, and Brian hadn’t really been the best husband in the world to Justin, but he had hoped that they were working things out. He had thought that they were getting through all the mess. Flashes of the look in Justin’s eyes when Brian had confessed to his infidelity came across Brian’s mind. He had thought that Justin had forgiven him for that, but he was beginning to wonder. Brian watched as another car pulled up into the driveway and a good-looking blond got out, walking into the house. Seeing this caused Brian’s breathe to catch in his throat. He didn’t want to think that it was what it was beginning to look like. He didn’t think that Justin could ever do that to him. Closing his eyes, Brian pulled the car back out onto the street and headed to base. He had some serious thinking to do, and he couldn’t do it at home. It was six hours later when Peters found Brian alone at the bar on base. The other man had just gotten out of work and went straight to the bar for an after-hours beer. Seeing his Lieutenant sitting at the bar, drowning in the alcohol before him caused him to stop in his tracks. Brian had never been one to get trashed with the rest of them, determined to stay as sober as possible. It didn’t seem right to see his LT like this. Going over to the phone, Peters dialed HQ hoping to catch someone before everyone left for the day. “Hey, Chief. I think you better get over here. Yeah, I’m at Champions… yeah… no it’s the LT… something’s wrong. Yeah, thanks. I’ll be here.” It was ten minutes later when Chief South came into the base club, heading straight for the bar and his Lieutenant. “Is this how you always spend your days off?” Chief asked as he gave a quick nod to Peters and sat down next to Brian. “As I told Peters here… fuck off.” Brian slurred. “What I do on my down-time is of no concern of yours… either of yours. I think I’m entitled to spread my wings a little.” Brian continued as he began to look around the bar. He knew the last thing he wanted was to trick, but Brian didn’t know what else to do. He felt like his world was crashing in around him, and he couldn’t stop it. Spotting someone looking at him with interest, Brian began to stand from his chair, quickly grabbing the edge of the bar to keep from falling. “Now, boys, if you’ll excuse me. I think I’m going to be engaged.” South and Peters glanced at each other and grabbed a hold of Brian. “I think it’s time for you to sober up some sir, before you do something that you will regret.” Peters stated. “Fuck off. What’s the point anyway? It’s not like there’s anything left for me to go home to.” Brian stated suddenly feeling the weight crashing in on him. “Fuck, I need more to drink. Barkeep, Absolute, straight up.” “That’s enough, Sir. We’re taking you out of here, and we’ll talk.” South and Peters led Brian out of the bar and out to Brian’s car. They threw him into the back of the vehicle as South got in the driver’s seat. Soon they were pulling up in front of South’s small apartment off base and they dragged Brian out of the backseat. “Chris, what the hell is this?” South’s wife asked. “What happened?” “I have no idea, hun. Can you put a pot of coffee on… strong?” Chris South asked as they dropped Brian on the couch. “Do you want to explain what the hell is going on here, sir?” “Justin’s cheating on me.” Brian stated as he took the cup of coffee into his hands with a small, sad smile to Chris’ wife. “And you know this how? Justin wouldn’t do that. He fucking adores you.” Mike Peters said, sitting down in one of the chairs next to his boss shaking his head. “I don’t see it, LT. I just don’t.” Chris looked at Brian once again and tried to gauge the truth of his words. “What have you found out? Cause I have to agree with Mike, Justin wouldn’t do that. I don’t … I can’t see it happening.” “He’s been distant lately, coming home after I get there. He’s upset about something… won’t look me in the eye. He’s even been ditching Emmett, just leaving without a word.” Brian explained looking down at the coffee cup in his hand that Chris’ wife kept filling. “I followed him.” Brian said looking up quickly then back down at the cup. The pain in his soul was deep. He had hoped that this day wouldn’t come, he had hoped that they were stronger than any other couple out there. But Brian had seen relationships that had seemed strong end in disaster. He had thought that they would be forever. Brian ran his finger over the bracelet on his right wrist feeling the words engraved there, trying to take comfort from them. Justin’s words kept playing over and over in his mind as he told Brian not long ago that he wouldn’t want anyone else. “He went to this small house just outside of town… some guy pulled up and went inside it.” “That doesn’t mean he’s cheating on you. I mean, he’s good at these surprises right?” Mike asked trying to understand what had happened to the couple that had been an inspiration to him. He had wanted something like what those two had, he didn’t want to think that it was over, that they had failed. “Are you sure?” “What else could it be? He’s normally better at hiding than this if it’s a surprise. He’s been off, distant lately. He … he gets out of bed in the middle of the night, stays out of it until shortly before I get up to come in.” Brian ran his hand through his hair, trying to clear his head enough so he could think. He could feel the hot coffee begin to wipe away the haze of alcohol, but his mind was still sluggish. “I don’t know what to do. I keep telling myself that if he wants out… if he ever thinks he can’t handle it anymore that I’d let him go… I just don’t know if I can. I don’t know if I could survive it.” Chris knew that if Justin ever left Brian, that the man would throw himself in the line of fire and kill himself. He knew that, and knew he had to do something. Brian was too good of a SEAL and a man to let this destroy him. “Try and win him back.” His wife stated from behind him. “What?” all three men asked, turning around to face the woman standing by the door to the kitchen. “Simple, if you want him, which I know you do, fight for him. Take him away and show him what he means to you. Try and rediscover what it was that brought you together in the first place. Fight for him, and don’t let him leave.” She stated with a small smile on her face. “That’s what I would want Chris to do, if we were in that position. Justin evidentily wants, or thinks he needs something that he’s not getting from you. Give it to him. Show him that you’re willing to do whatever it takes to keep him. I’m sure things will work out. Justin loves you, there’s not doubt in anyone’s mind. Show him that you love him too.” Brian nodded as he leaned back on the couch and closed his eyes. He had to think. He had to come up with a plan on winning Justin back. She was right… he had to try and fight for Justin… he only wished he knew what to do, what Justin needed that he wasn’t getting from Brian. There were some things that he knew he couldn’t change, but he would do whatever he could to make it better. When Brian left three hours later, he had a better, clearer picture as to what he needed to do. He hoped the plan that the four had devised at the dinner table that night would work. He couldn’t lose Justin… he just couldn’t. ~~~***~~~***~~~*** 19 December 2013 Justin, I’ve made a decision, and it’s something I have to do. I know I told you many times that if you ever felt that you had to leave, I wouldn’t fight you. I know I told you that if you weren’t happy that I would stand back and let you do what you have to do, that if you need to find things in others then I’d be okay with it. Now that it’s actually here, I find I can’t. I can’t let you go, I won’t. If you leave me, I can honestly tell you that I will kill myself. One way or another, I will end it. I shouldn’t say that to you, I shouldn’t tell you that cause I know if it ever happens, you will feel guilty. I know you, you will even if we’re not together anymore. But it’s the truth and I promised myself that I wouldn’t lie to you in these. Cause if you ever read these then you’ll want to know. So I’ll tell you. If you leave me, I will purposely get killed on a mission. I’ll make sure that the guys are safe and secure, and I will end it. Plain and simple. Suicide by someone else, I guess. Why do you feel you have to do this? What is it that I’m not giving you that you have to find elsewhere? Yeah, so I can come up with the obvious, but for some reason I don’t think that that’s the reason. Yes, I have to go on missions, and yes, I’m often distant… but I like to think that I share with you as much as I can. That I am as open with you as I can. If it comes to us, you are the first to know. I try, isn’t that enough? I never thought that I might have to choose between you and the Navy. I don’t know if I can now. I don’t know if I can give up what I do to stay with you. Despite the fact that I know I won’t function without you, I don’t know if I could function without the SEALs. It’s a catch 22. I lose either way. So how do you choose between the two things you love? There is no doubt that you are my life, that you are everything to me. But then again, being a SEAL is who I am. I do some good with them. Yes, it’s hard work, and I often wonder if we are making a difference, but I know that it’s good work. We help people, and that’s what I need. I need to think that I can make even a small bit of difference, considering what everyone thought I would become. I am someone. You married a SEAL. We had talked in depth for a long time about this, and what it would mean. I thought you had understood. So where does that leave me? I have to try to win you back. I have three weeks before I go on my last mission here in Spain. Yes, for once I know when I’m leaving even if I can’t tell you yet. But I want to have some idea, some closure before I go. I have to try to keep you around. It will be a busy month coming up, with moving, packing, everything… I want to make sure that you are coming home with me. I hope this works, cause it’s all I have. If this doesn’t work, I don’t know what else to do. Cause even if I wanted to leave the Navy, I can’t yet. I still have a contract. So this is my last ditch effort. It’s either this or nothing. If I can’t bring you back to me by the time the plane leaves to go back to the States, then I’m done. I’ll let you go, and let you live your life. That’s it. That’s my plan… basically anyway. Time will tell. I love you, Justin. Everything that I am and I have is yours. You are my Avalon even if we aren’t together. Love forever, Brian. ~~~***~~~***~~~*** “Justin, this trip is for you. Whatever you want to do, we’ll do. I just want you to be happy. These past couple of months have been hard on the both of us, and I want you to know that I love you. I want you to be happy.” Brian tried to explain to his husband as he stood inside the hotel room in Venice. Brian had been thinking about this moment for days, since his talk with Chris and Mike… more importantly Chris’ wife. He was determined to do whatever Justin wanted, no matter how much he might hate it, or how bored he might get… if it made Justin happy and kept Justin around then in the end he too would be happy. “Brian, what about you? This is your vacation too. We both wanted to come here.” Justin stated from the chair where he had his crutches laying beside and his foot elevated on a small stool. “We don’t have to do just what I want. What about you?” “I want to do what you want. Whatever you want to do we’ll do. That’s what I want. This is your Christmas present.” Brian told Justin as he turned to look out the window. He hated that he had to try and convince Justin to have fun, that he meant everything he was saying. For once, Brian had hoped that Justin would just go along with the plan. Justin looked at his husband and tried to figure out what was going on. “So if I wanted to go out to the clubs and pick up ten guys to bring back here and fuck, that would okay? You would go along with that?” Justin asked trying to see how far Brian was willing to go. Not that he would do that, but he needed to know what was going on. Brian felt a sharp pain in his heart, and closed his eyes from the pain he could feel. “If that will make you happy… yes.” Brian forced out of his mouth. He hated to say that, he hated to even admit that he would do anything to keep Justin. “I won’t like it, but… if you want to, I won’t stop you.” Justin knew that something was seriously wrong. Standing from his chair, he limped over to Brian and turned his lover to him. “Okay, who are you and what have you done with my husband?” He asked trying to smile, but feeling the fear began to creep into him. Brian shook his head and opened the door to the patio. “You know, fuck it. I don’t know why I’m even trying.” Brian walked out and leaned against the railing so he could look at Justin. “Look, let me be honest here. I want you to be honest with me, though. I think I need to know.” “What’s going on? Brian, you’re starting to scare me.” Justin stated as he walked onto the patio so he could stand in front of Brian. “Will you sit down, please? You shouldn’t be up and around like this.” Brian quickly went and pulled a chair from inside the room and brought it out, forcing Justin to sit down. “I’m sitting, now tell me.” Brian leaned back again against the railing but this time had his back to Justin. He couldn’t see the look in Justin’s eyes as the man he loved admitted that he was in love with someone else. “I know, Justin. I know you’ve been seeing someone.” “What?” Justin asked not sure where Brian was going with this. Of course he was seeing someone, but he didn’t think that him seeing his mother would be this big of a deal. Then it hit him… Brian didn’t know about his mom. That must mean that Brian thought that… “Brian, it’s not what you think.” “It’s okay, really. I can understand it in a way. I just want to know where we stand. I want you to be happy, Justin, and I’d like to try and be the one who does that for you. I want to know what I’m doing wrong, what I can do to make you stay. What do I have to do to make you happy?” Justin could hear the pain in Brian’s voice as the man talked. He wouldn’t look at Justin, wouldn’t let Justin see the pain on his face. But Justin could tell. He saw the tightness in Brian’s shoulders; hear the pain in Brian’s voice. “Brian, I’m not seeing anyone else. Not like that. It’s not what you think. Why would you think that I would cheat on you?” Justin couldn’t believe that Brian would even think that he was cheating on him. Brian was his life; he would never hurt Brian like that. Never. “Justin, you don’t have to lie.” Brian stated as he turned around to face his lover. “Emmett told me that you have been ditching him for the past couple of weeks. He told me that he would see you come home acting like you didn’t want to be there. What other thing could it be? And I followed you, Justin. I saw the man walk into the house. The house just outside of town. I just want to know what I can do to fix this, what can I do to make you love me again?” Justin stood from his chair, not caring about the pain he might feel from his foot. The pain that he felt coming from his other half was a million times more than any broken foot could ever be. “Brian, I do love you. With all my heart. You’re my life. Nothing will change that. I’m not seeing anyone else, not romantically, not sexually. You’re all I want, all I need.” “Then what’s going on?” Brian asked begging Justin to explain, to tell him what was going on. Justin moved so he could lean against the railing, trying to take some pressure off of his ankle. Reaching out, Justin grabbed a hold of Brian’s hand, wanting to feel the other man’s presence. “I found my mother. Here in Spain. I found her.” “But your mom was killed in the plane crash years ago.” Brian stated not understanding what Justin was telling him. He had hoped that Justin could come up with a better lie than that. “My real mother. It seems that who I thought were my parents really weren’t. It seems that I was adopted.” Justin explained as he caught Brian’s look of surprise. “I don’t know everything yet, but I’m beginning to understand. Craig didn’t tell my mom anything. He just took me and left.” Brian’s mind went back to that night a little over two weeks ago. “So that’s why you were asking about whether or not I felt like I was adopted or something as I grew up?” Brian shook his head, wondering why he hadn’t pushed the issue back then. He could have saved everyone a lot of grief if Justin had just told him. “Why didn’t you tell me?” “I don’t know. I guess I wanted to be sure. I wanted to get to know her before I introduced her to my husband. I wanted her to accept me first.” Justin said with a shrug. He wasn’t really sure why he hadn’t told Brian, why he hadn’t confided in his husband. He didn’t and now he was seeing how it had been affecting his lover. He never thought that Brian would suffer this much. “I’m sorry. I know I should have told you, but… I don’t know.” “Christ, Justin. I thought you wanted to leave me. I thought you had found someone else.” Brian said shaking his head and running his hand through his hair. He felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of him, but suddenly it was being replaced with another problem. Justin evidentily didn’t trust him enough to help him through this. To help him emotionally. “I think we have a bigger problem then I had originally thought.” “I’m sorry. I know I should have told you. Can you forgive me?” “Justin… Do you trust me? I mean, not with your life, but with everything else. Do you trust me enough to be there emotionally for you? I know I’m not around all the time, and I know that I can’t tell you everything. I know I’m a little aloof, but … I had hoped… fuck, I don’t know.” Justin turned and wrapped his arms around Brian. “I guess we have a lot to work on, huh?” “You can say that again.” Brian said hoping that they could. “There’s more.” Justin kept his head on Brian’s chest listening to the steady beat of Brian’s heart, a sound that always comforted him. “I don’t even know how to tell you this. It’s about Harry.” “Harry?” Brian’s voice was puzzled. “I think he’s my father.” Justin’s words were soft. Brian could barely hear him. “Jesus Christ Justin, why in hell would you think that?” Brian pulled back to look Justin in the eye. “It’s my mom, she” he hesitated. “she got pregnant by a Seaman Harry Patterson, Harry had a girlfriend named Jennifer. You do the math.” Brian groaned. “Are you sure this isn’t some kind of giant cosmic joke. Maybe one of those reality shows that used to be popular and someone is going to yell ‘cut’ and we’ll be back doing normal things.” “Don’t I wish it was something like that?” Justin’s voice told Brian all he wanted to know. He was going to have to fix things so that Justin could deal with all of this. Fixing things was something Brian did well. ~~~***~~~***~~~*** Brian looked over at Justin trying to maneuver his way through the small shops early in the afternoon. Emmett was trying to keep up with Justin while trying to keep others away and carry everything that Justin was picking out. Brian could only shake his head. He had told Justin that he would not do any shopping; he tried to convince his lover that they had enough stuff, but the blond would not listen. “You know we’re going to have to have all this shit shipped back to the states and then we won’t have any of it until maybe March or April.” Brian called out to his lover trying to reason with the man. “We’re shipping some stuff from here, remember?” Justin stated as he picked up another set of silk sheets. “I like this color. I think it will go great with the new duvet we got. What do you think?” “I love it, sweetie… but don’t you think that Brian may have a point?” Emmett asked Justin. He would never try to stop anyone from shopping, since it was one of life’s necessities, but he also didn’t want to have a pissed off Brian around. He had seen enough of that lately to last a lifetime. “Pishaw. Brian doesn’t understand the thrill of shopping.” Justin said with a smile as he stuck his tongue out at his lover. “I may not understand shopping, but I do understand how much it’s going to cost to get this shit back to the states… and Justin you can’t send Ivory overseas. It’s still illegal in the U.S.” Brian stated as he took a small statue out of Justin’s hands. “No.” “You are no fun, Navy Boy.” “So,” Brian began as he began to follow Justin and Emmett though the market. He wanted to get Justin off of shopping and get the man home to rest. “When am I going to meet your mom?” Brian asked. Justin stopped in his tracks and Emmett quickly sidestepped so that he wouldn’t run Justin over. “You want to meet my mom?” “She does know about me, right? You said so yourself. Why wouldn’t I get to meet her?” Brian asked. He had hoped that Justin would share this with him, share the experience of having a mother who might actually care. Whether or not she did, was another question… one that Brian was determined to get answered. He wanted to meet this woman and try to gauge for himself on whether or not she would hurt Justin. He wanted to see for himself if she was being honest. He couldn’t do that if he didn’t meet her. “Well.” Justin began, looking sideways at Brian. “I guess we could try when we get back.” “Why not give her a call. We can pay to have her come here. I’m sure that the two of you can come up with something to do for 10 days. We just got here, Justin it’s not like you can’t. You want her around for Christmas, so go call her and invite her to come… or we could go back there. Either way, don’t you want to spend it with her?” With that being said, Brian made his way further down the walk, giving Justin enough to think about for now. ~~~***~~~***~~~*** Brian waited until he felt Justin deep in sleep before he crawled out of his lover’s embrace and pulled on a pair of sweats. Quietly he opened the door and went to the room next to theirs. “Emmett, open the damn door, I need to talk to you.” He quietly said through the door. ”What? Do you have any idea what time it is?” Emmett asked as he opened the door in a bright orange robe and boxer shorts. “Isn’t it illegal to wear something like that?” Brian pushed his way into the room and sat down on Emmett’s couch. “Look, I don’t have time to mess around here. You’re leaving, in the morning. I already have a plane ticket waiting for you.” “What?” Emmett sat down next to Brian and looked at the man like he had lost his mind. “DO you mind telling me WHY I am leaving?” Brian sat back and rested his head on the back of the sofa. “Justin just found out that who he thought was his family really wasn’t. That’s what all those mystery meetings were all about.” Brian explained. “The woman he met at the market that day? Are you telling me she is his sister? Mother?” “From what he’s told me, she’s his mother… and it seems that he thinks that Harry is his father.” “What?!” Emmett exclaimed. “Why didn’t Harry say anything before now? Justin has been around him for months and it’s never been mentioned?” Emmett was hot, angry that the man he had grown to respect would do that to Justin. It just didn’t add up. “Wait a minute… he didn’t know, did he?” Brian shook his head. “I don’t think so. But I want to do something for Justin and I need your help. I want to get everyone down to our place in Baja, have a little ‘family’” Brian began shaking his head. “Family gathering there. Have Justin, Harry, and this Jennifer there. Meet the family, get to know one another, that sort of thing.” “And you want us there to see how she will react.” Emmett stated knowing full well where Brian was coming from. Seeing Brian shrug, Emmett knew he would help Brian out, especially if it would help Justin. “If she tries anything…” “She’ll have to deal with me.” Brian simply stated. Emmett knew heard the conviction in Brian’s voice and nodded. “I’ll pack and be on the plane tomorrow. Just tell me what I need to do.” “Simple, keep Harry there. Don’t let him leave. See if you can help him get the place ready for the masses… but don’t tell him about the other added surprise. No one is to know about that, but you and I. Understand?” Emmett gave Brian a huge smile and held out his hand. “I like the way your mind works. I’m in.” ~~~***~~~***~~~*** “Hello, is this Jennifer Taylor?” “Yes” “This is Brian Kinney, Justin’s husband.” “Hello Brian, Justin’s told me a lot about you.” her voice was soft and well educated. Brian felt uneasy listening to her. He could tell she was a class above his own parents. “Justin is having rather a difficult time adjusting to everything. I was wondering if maybe you’d like to spend Christmas with us and the rest of our ‘family’. It would mean a lot to Justin to have you meet with those he’s considered family for the last few years.” “That sounds lovely, but I thought you and Justin were spending the holidays in Italy.” “We talked about it once we got here and both realized he’d rather spend Christmas with his newly found mother. And what better time to meet everyone than Christmas.” “It is a time for family. I have to agree.” “I tell you what Jennifer. Why don’t I arrange for you to fly to Baja. We usually spend our Christmas there each year. I’ll have the rest of the family come as well. The house is large enough to hold all of us, but if you’d feel more comfortable, I can arrange for a hotel.” “What does Justin think about this?” she asked. “Justin loves having his family around him. But this is my little surprise for my husband, my Christmas present for him and for all of you. The weather is lovely there.” A few more pleasantries were exchanged and Brian took down the details he would need to book her flights. He was going to warn her not to hurt Justin, but thought better of it at the last minute. But if she did hurt him, she might as well head for the hills; her life wouldn’t be safe as far as Brian was concerned. Justin didn’t need the grief. ~~~***~~~***~~~*** The phone calls to Lindsay and Daphne went much better than Brian had expected. Both of the girls were desperately homesick for their friends. It didn’t take much to persuade them to leave the cold north and fly south to Baja for a week. Especially when Brian was paying for the ticket. Brian left telling Harry there would be a houseful up to Emmett. He’d given him his credit card and told him to make sure the house was decorated and the food and drink was plentiful. ~~~***~~~***~~~*** The last set of calls Brian made were to the ‘family’ back in Virginia. He felt relief when he got Vic instead of Debbie. Quickly he explained the situation to Vic and told the other man what he needed to know. He had already bought the tickets on line and knew that if anyone could get the rest of the gang out of the house and down to Baja, it would be Vic. Now all Brian had to do was hope that everything would work out. He hoped that Justin wouldn’t try to contact the family and find out that they weren’t there. This had to go without a hitch, and Brian was going to do everything in his power to make sure that happened. ~~~***~~~***~~~*** “Brian?” Justin asked as he limped his way over to where Brian was sitting on the couch of their room. “Where’s Emmett? I tried his room, but they told me that he had checked out. Is he okay? Did he mention to you that he was leaving?” Brian could hear the worry and fear in his lover’s voice, and Brian reached out to pull Justin down on his lap. “Don’t worry. Emmett and I talked about it, and I just basically told him that we wanted time alone for a bit. He’ll be waiting for us when we get home. Trust me. I didn’t do anything to chase him off.” Brian said with a small smirk. “I certainly hope so. He’s been a big help. Have I told you that I love you, and how grateful I am that you let him stay with me?” Justin told Brian as he began to wiggle on his lover’s lap. “Not recently… but now we don’t have time. We have to check out ourselves. We have a plane to catch.” Brian stated as he lifted his lover up off of his lap. “What? Brian?” Justin was in shock wondering what Brian was doing. They had just gotten to Italy and now suddenly Brian was getting ready to leave? Justin didn’t understand what was going on. Brian turned back to Justin and placed his hands on Justin’s shoulders. “You wanted to spend time with your mom for Christmas right? Well we’re going to, but to do that we have to leave here.” Brian explained hoping that Justin would be okay with his little plan. Justin jumped up into Brian’s arms and began to plant kisses all over Brian’s face. “I love you, I love you. Thank-you.” “Thank me when we get there. Now get your pretty blond ass in gear. We have to be at the plane in six hours.” Brian turned back around to finish the packing he had started earlier. He only hoped that this wouldn’t blow up in his face. All he knew was that by the New Year, he would have his answers. ~~~***~~~***~~~*** 23 December 2014 Dear Justin, We are on a plane right now, heading to our home in Baja. I can only hope that I’m making the right decision. I hope that I’m not fucking things up and making things worse for you. But I have to do this. I have to make sure that she won’t hurt you, that Harry won’t turn against you. I have to try and protect you from that. If I can’t protect you from everything, I sure as hell will try to protect you from this. Maybe it’s my own fucked up life coming back to haunt me… maybe it’s both of us being disappointed over and over again by our parents that has me on edge. I don’t know, but I do know that I won’t let you suffer because they can’t handle shit. I love you, and I hope this week goes well. I want you to have the family you deserve; I want you to be happy. I hope this just doesn’t blow up in my face. I love you, Justin. Everything I do I do for you. My Avalon, Brian ~~~***~~~***~~~*** End of Chapter Fourteen