“Justin.” Brian called as he entered the house. “In here.” Justin called from the kitchen. Brian smiled to himself. God, it really is good to be home. He thought. He walked into the kitchen to find Justin sitting at the table, an enormous art textbook open in front of him. He was drinking milk and eating some of the cookies Debbie had brought over the day before. Justin looked up and smiled at Brian. Justin had a milk mustache that Brian was sure the other man wasn’t aware of or the fact that with it made him look all of 12 years old. Stifling a laugh, he walked over and kissed the younger man running his tongue along his lips tasting milk and chocolate chip cookies and the unmistakable flavor of Sunshine. “How was work?” Justin asked when they pulled apart. “Fine.” Brian said. “Cynthia kept ‘checking up’ on me all day and Ted passed the door to my office so often that I think he wore a path in the tile. I felt like I was under a microscope.” “They just care about you, you know that, right?” Justin said. “I know.” Brian said rolling his eyes. “Did the doctor call yet?” Justin shook his head. “Fuck.” Brian breathed. “I really want to not have this hanging over me any more, you know?” Justin nodded. Just then the phone rang. Brian looked at it for several seconds before mustering the courage to answer. “Hello.” He said and paused. “Yes, Doctor, I was just wondering when you were going to call.” He paused. “I see. Yes, I know. That’s what my doctor said would probably happen.” He looked over and Justin but shook his head in answer to the million and one questions he saw in his lover’s eyes. “Yes. Okay. And when will that begin? Tomorrow? Really?” Justin frowned as he studied Brian’s face. “Okay. Yes. 8am. Right. Bye.” “Well?” Justin asked as soon as Brian hung up the phone. “I start radiation treatment tomorrow morning at 8 am.” Brian said matter of factly. “So, it is -?” Justin began. “Yes.” Brian interrupted. “Fuck.” Justin sighed. “You got that right.” Brian said. “But, the tumor itself is out, right?” Justin said trying to be upbeat. “Yeah.” Brian said nodding. “They want to use the radiation to kill any cancer cells that still might be in the area.” “I’ll skip my first class tomorrow and go with you then.” Justin said matter of factly. “No.” Brian said softly. “I don’t want you missing school.” “But, you need someone to take you.” Justin argued. “I’ll be fine.” Brian said dismissively. “Brian.” Justin pleaded. “I’ll be alright by myself, Sunshine.” Brian said cupping the younger man’s face. “I’ll take a cab to the hospital then another to work. No problem.” “Okay.” Justin agreed. “I guess.” Brian pulled Justin into a hug and kissed him on the top of his head. “I’ll be fine.” Justin nodded against his chest not at all convinced. -- “That’s it, Mr. Kinney.” The nurse said as she moved to the side of the table Brian was lying on. She helped him sit up. “You can get dressed now.” Brian swung his feet to the side of the table and started to get down. “You’ll be fine for a while this morning, but the effects of the radiation will hit you in a few hours.” “Oh, goody.” Brian said sarcastically. “You’ll suffer from fatigue, pain, and nausea.” She continued. “It might be a good idea to take it easy. You should probably even think about just staying home.” “Thanks for the advice, nurse.” Brian scoffed as he slowly lifted himself off the table and headed toward where his clothes were hung. The nurse excused herself as Brian got dressed. He stared after her then shook his head before grabbing up his briefcase, overcoat, and heading out to check out and get to work. -- Brian made it to the office at nine o’clock sharp. Cynthia followed him into his office her appointment book in hand. She sat in the seat across Brian’s desk and began to run down the list of appointments for the day. “Brown Athletic will be calling in about an hour.” Cynthia said smiling. “Mr. Brown is furious with Vanguard. I saw the mock ups before I left and all I can say is, ‘yuck’. Definitely not up to your standards. And, more importantly not up to Mr. Brown’s standards.” “Gardner’s loss.” Brian said simply. “What else?” “‘Dandy Lube’ is scheduled for three o’clock.” She said glancing down at the schedule the tip of the pen she held against her lips. “So, how’re you this morning.” “Toasty.” Brian said noncommittally. “You made it to your treatment all right, then?” Cynthia said trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. “Yes.” Brian said the warning in his voice very clear. “I’m just asking.” Cynthia countered. “I was surprised that Justin didn’t drive you in today.” “Justin has a class.” Brian said. “And, I’m a big boy, I can take care of myself.” Cynthia turned and looked at him square in the eye. “But, you also have a lot of people who care about you, you know. Me included.” “I know.” Brian said his voice softening. “And, thanks for the concern. I’m fine. And, when I’m not, you’ll be one of the first to know. Okay?” “Okay.” Cynthia said smiling. The phone at her desk rang then and she hurried out to answer it. -- The morning went smoothly, but by lunchtime, Brian was beginning to drag. He was extremely tired and could feel the first stirrings of nausea. He walked into the small kitchen area and opened the fridge. Inside he found two six packs of ginger ale and chuckled to himself. Cynthia was forever taking care of him whether he wanted her to or not. He took one of the cans along with a glass of ice back to his office. He sat down on the couch across from his desk and began to go over the layouts for the ‘Dandy Lube’ account. Before he even realized what was happening, he had leaned back on the couch and dosed off with the folder over his eyes. “Brian?” Ted said. Brian opened his eyes confused for a moment. He wondered why it was so bright in his bedroom and why the hell Ted would be in his bedroom. He then realized that he was still on the sofa in his office and Ted was talking to him about something. “Oh, Theodore.” Brian said lifting himself to a sitting position and setting the ‘Dandy Lube’ folder on the table in front of him. “Jesus, what’s wrong?” Ted asked immediately concerned. “Nothing.” Brian said his mouth dry. “You look like shit.” Ted countered. “Thanks.” Brian said pulling his jacket around him tighter and holding his stomach as the nausea worsened. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You started your radiation treatments today, right?” Ted said. Brian looked at him questioningly. “Cynthia told me. You sure you’re okay?” Brian nodded, but then excused himself before rushing to the bathroom. He emptied his stomach and ran water into a glass and swished it in his mouth to try and wash out the awful taste. When he returned to his office, Ted was standing with a glass of ice water in his hand. Brian took it and downed half of it in one gulp before sitting back down on the couch. He leaned against the armrest and took a deep breath. “Maybe I should call Justin?” Ted asked but Brian shook his head. “But, Brian?” “But, nothing.” Brian said. “It’ll pass.” “Look.” Ted said more forcefully. “I know you’re my boss and ‘The Great’ Brian Kinney, but if you feel this bad, then you should be at home.” Too tired to argue, Brian closed his eyes. He felt like shit and he knew he felt like shit and if he tried to sell ‘Dandy Lube’ in this condition he’d fail miserably. He sighed. “Fine.” Brian said. “I want you to do something for me, though.” “Done.” Ted said. “What?” “Cover for me at the meeting with ‘Dandy Lube’.” Brian said. When Ted looked confused, Brian continued. “Give the presentation. Cynthia knows what’s going on. She’ll help you.” When Ted looked doubtful, Brian said. “You’ll do fine, Theodore. If you can pull off pretending to be Pavarotti at that pathetic pasta palace, you can do this.” Ted still looked doubtful but nodded. “And, go ahead and call Justin. I need a ride home.” Ted nodded and exited the office as Brian lay back down on the sofa and closed his eyes. -- Brian laid down immediately when he and Justin arrived at the loft. Justin helped him out of his clothes and pulled the covers up over him before heading out to his computer to do his homework. Brian slept without moving for over three hours. When he awoke, he felt much better. The nausea had passed for the most part. He lifted himself up out of bed and headed out of the bedroom and down the stairs. He found Justin puttering in the kitchen. He had a pot of something on the stove. Chicken soup. Brian’s stomach rumbled. He then realized her hadn’t eaten since breakfast. “Hey, Sunshine.” Brian called causing the blond to look up from what he was doing. “Hey.” He smiled. “How are you feeling?” “Better.” Brian said. “Hungry, actually.” “Well, good, because I have a pot of chicken soup.” Justin said as he started to ladle the soup into bowls. “Debbie’s homemade recipe.” “Smells good.” Brian said. “You want to eat here or in bed?” Justin asked. “Here’s fine.” Brian said. He didn’t want to spend all his time in bed regardless of what his friends and his doctor said. “Do we have crackers?” Justin held up a box of saltines. “Excellent.” They sat down at the counter and ate in comfortable silence. The warm soup felt wonderful in Brian’s empty stomach and he went back for not only seconds, but thirds as well. “Wow.” Justin said as Brian drained his third bowl. “You must have been hungry. I’ve never seen you eat that much in one sitting.” “Missed lunch.” Brian said. “Well, you can’t do that anymore.” Justin said. “You have to keep something in your stomach. It would probably help stave off the nausea, too.” “Really.” “Or maybe that’s with morning sickness.” Justin said smiling. Brian rolled his eyes. “Either way it couldn’t hurt for you to keep food in your stomach, right?” Brian chuckled. “Probably not.” Brian said putting his hand over Justin. He squeezed it and nodded. Justin accepted the unspoken gratitude and smiled as well. “Just don’t expect me to give birth in nine months.” Justin laughed. “Hello.” John called as he came in the house. “In here, Champ.” Brian called. Justin was pleased that Brian’s color had returned as well as his good mood. “So, did they zap you with their ray gun?” John asked. Brian nodded. “Did it hurt? Did it burn? Do you have a scar from the surgery? Can I see it?” “Whoa.” Brian said throwing his hands up. “Slow down. I can only answer one question at a time.” John nodded and headed for the cabinet next to the fridge. He pulled out a bag of chips and got a soda from the fridge then sat back down next to his uncle and waited. “Okay. Yes, I did go for my first treatment this morning and no it did not hurt or burn.” John nodded as he started to scarf down chip in between gulps of soda. “Do not spoil your appetite with that crap.” Justin scolded. “I won’t.” John said around a mouthful. Justin just shook his head. “Yes, I have a scar, and no, you do not need to see it.” “Ahhh.” John pouted. “I wanted to take a picture of it to show my friends.” “I don’t think that’s going to happen.” Brian said. “Oh, well.” John shrugged. “When do you go back for your next treatment?” “Tomorrow morning.” Brian said. “Wow.” John said more subdued this time. “And, how long do you have to do the treatments?” “The doctor recommends 15 – 20 treatments.” Brian explained. “Will you have to do chemotherapy, too?” “Hopefully not.” Brian said. “Since they took the tumor out with the testicle, they should only have to radiate the area to kill any remaining cancer cells.” “But, it makes you sick, too, right?” John asked. Brian nodded. “That sucks.” “You have no idea.” Brian said smiling a little. “Can it come back?” “Yes.” Brian said looking from John to Justin. “Most recurrences happen within the first 5 years of treatment. I’ll have to go back for follow up exams every six months.” “Forever?” “Just for the first two years then annually after that.” Brian explained. Justin nodded along with John. “Just to be on the safe side.” John set his soda down on the counter and moved over to wrap his arms around his uncle’s neck. Brian pulled the boy closer to him hugging him tightly. He could feel John’s tears wetting his shirt. “I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.” Brian said softly. John nodded against his chest before he sniffed and pulled away. “I promise.” John nodded again wiping his face with the back of his sleeve. “Why don’t you go wash up?” Justin suggested. John nodded then hurried up the steps. “Are you okay, Justin?” Brian asked pulling the other man closer. Justin refused to meet his gaze at first. Brian lifted his chin. “I’ll be okay.” Justin nodded as silent tears spilled from his eyes. He was about to wipe them away angrily with his hand, but Brian cupped Justin’s face and wiped the tears away with his thumbs instead. He then pressed a kiss to Justin’s lips. “I’ll be okay.” Brian repeated. Justin nodded against Brian’s chest as Brian pulled him closer. End chapter 6.