Brian opened the door to the loft and stared at Justin’s blood shot eyes.  He felt his heart jumping a little faster and butterflies in his stomach along with a little touch of pain in him.

“Justin, how did you get here?”  Brian asked.

“I stole Ben’s address book.”  Justin said and gave the little black book to Brian.  “Then it turned out to be his phonebook.”

Brian arched a brow and pulled Justin inside the loft.

“So I started to call people around and I pretended like I worked for my father and I told them that Justin had run away and we needed to find you.”

“I see.”

“It was half a lie.”  Justin defended.

“You could have gotten killed, damn it!”

“Not like you care!”  Justin shouted back.

“I care.”

“Then why are you running away?”  Justin asked.

“I’m not.  Your father is right.  I’m too old for you.”  Brian explained to him.

“Do you mind if I start cursing at you now?”  Justin asked mad.  “Because that is fucking bullshit!”

Brian walked to the island and took his keys.

“I told you I was going to call you tomorrow.”  Brian said.  “Why did you have to come here?”

“I have my reasons.”  Justin whispered.  “I just want to stay the night.  Make sure you still can leave tomorrow.”

“So you want me to leave?”  Brian asked arching a brow.

“No.”  Justin told him.  “I’m just…I’m scared.”

“Bullshit.  What is it?”

“It’s noting Brian.”  Justin told him rubbing his hands together.

Brian had gotten to know that Justin would do that when he was nervous.  He glared at the blonde a little angry that Justin wouldn’t trust him.

“I’m taking you home.”

“Brian, please no!”

Brian grabbed him by his arm and started to pull Justin out of the loft.  He slid the door shut and kept pulling Justin with him.  Justin was fighting him off but Brian was using all of this strength to keep Justin from moving away.  They got into the elevator and went down.

“Let me go.”  Justin hissed.

“I’m taking you home, Sonny Boy.”

“No.  I have to stay here.”  Justin pleaded.

Brian slid the door open and got out on the first floor with Justin.

“No!  Brian I am not leaving you!”

Brian pulled him by the waist and was almost out of the building when Justin punched him hard in his arm.  He tried to grab Justin but the blonde was not seeing reason.  Justin just kept punching Brian.  By the time Brian decided to slap Justin and see if he would react it was too late.  Justin was already too full of adrenaline to feel a thing.  

“I’m not leaving!”  Justin shouted while he kept punching Brian on the chest.  “I’m not leaving you too.”

Brian knew that Justin’s outburst was not only about him.  He let Justin take it out on him until Justin stopped beating on his chest and started crying.  Brian pulled him in his arms and let the blonde cry.

“I don’t want to lose you.”

“You won’t.”

“Then don’t make me leave.”  Justin sobbed.  “He made leave and they killed him.”

“Who are they, Justin?”  Brian asked.

“I don’t know.”  Justin told him.  “Can we go back to the loft?”

“Sure.” Brian told.

They went to the loft through the stairs.  It was going to be a long night.

***

Brian put a glass of water in front of Justin and waited.  Justin looked up with his blue eyes so full of love that Brian smiled and came around the island to just hold him.

“Are you okay?”  Brian asked in Justin’s ear.

“Yeah.”

“Why are you here?”  Brian asked.

“Someone called me.  They said...They said ‘say goodbye to him’.  Then they hung up.

“What does that have to do with me?”  Brian asked confused.

“That’s the same thing they said the night they killed Jason.”  

Brian stood there a little shaken.

“What happened?”  Brian asked.

“I came here because I was scared that they were going to do something to you.”  

Brian smiled at Justin.  He was thrilled to know that Justin cared so much for him.

“I remember that the night Jason died I went to see him.  I wouldn’t have because the call didn’t make sense.  But things had gotten so weird during the last couple of months that after I thought about it, it actually started to.”  Justin said.

Justin opened his mouth to say something but closed his eyes and his body shook.

“You don’t have to tell me anything.”  Brian said.

Justin looked at Brian and smiled.

“I want to.  I’m just scared of what you are going to think of me.”

“I’m not here to judge you.”

Justin looked down at his hands and started biting his lower lip.  Brian rolled his lips inside of his mouth and waited.

“Daphne and I have known Jason for a long time.  We were friends before we became boyfriends.  It was all very weird.  It was new and exciting.”  Justin stated with a little smile.

Brian nodded.

“He and the guys used to go out on Friday’s and that never change after we became a couple.  I still remember that night.  It’s how it all began.”

Brian grabbed Justin’s hand and started rubbing it to make Justin feel better.

“It was boy’s night out which meant I could spend time with Daphne.  He would go to the clubs and the bars with Jimmy and his friends.  They always came back wasted.”  Justin murmured and closed his eyes.  “Sometimes he would go straight to his apartment or sometimes he would come to the dorms and sleep with me.”

Justin looked at Brian a little worried.

“We never had sex.  We made out a lot and that was it.  You were first, Brian.”

Brian smiled and kissed him.

“I know baby.”

Justin nodded and took a deep breath before he continued.

“That night he came back to the dorms.  And he was…he was fucking terrified.”  Justin uttered in a really low voice.  “He kept pacing back and forth having one cigarette after the other.”

Brian sat in front of Justin and just listened.

“I was with Daphne that day.  Anyways, I kept asking him what was going on, but he wouldn’t tell me.  Daphne left after a while and I stayed there, not saying a thing and hoping he would calm down.”

Justin took a sip of his water before he continued.  

“After a couple of weeks, he calmed down.  Things were going well and I was starting to fall in love with him.”  Justin said frowning.  “Then one day Daphne and I went to his apartment to see if he wanted to go out with us.”

Brian looked at Justin who was staring off into space.  He touched Justin’s hand and the blonde came out of the daze.

“I still remember it like it was yesterday.  He was in the floor crying like a baby.”  Justin sobbed.  “He…he kept saying it was his fault.  I didn’t know what he was talking about.  So Daphne…she uh, she went into the kitchen to prepare him a tea so he would calm down.”  Justin choked out.  “I think she was running from the whole situation.”

Brian nodded when Justin looked at him to let him know he was listening.

“I got on my knees and hugged him to me.  He just held on and cried.  Between Daphne and me we got him into bed and he fell asleep.  I stayed there with him and…uh, Daphne was the one that found the newspaper page in the floor, cut it half.”

“What was it?”  Brian asked anxious to know.

“It was about a kid.  He wasn’t even fifteen yet.  He had slit his wrist and jumped off of a building.  I guess he really wanted to fucking die.”  Justin gasped.  “I thought it was horrible but I couldn’t understand it.  I read the article over and over again.  About this bright kid who had everything going on right in his life and then…then he just went downhill.”

“What did Jason say about it?”

Justin looked at Brian and scoffed.

“Justin.”

“The night he came home like he had seen death was the night it happened.  He told me how he and his friends had found this kid walking home and Jimmy liked him.  So they asked him to come with them and the stupid kid did.”

Brian watched Justin getting up and walking away.  He stayed sitting down.

“Jason said that they had been drinking and taking drugs all night.”  Justin shouted.  “I guess he still felt the need to blame it on something.” 

Brian just watched Justin pacing from one side to the other.

“They took turns at him, even Jason.”  Justin said dryly.  “I was so fucking pissed at him.”

Brian got up and walked over to Justin.

“I wanted to run but I just couldn’t leave him.  He was my friend.  He was so fucking depressed about the whole thing and then…things got a little weird between us.  He didn’t want me hanging out with his friends.  He would come to see me and call me.  I thought he was scared for me but one day he told me someone was threatening him.”

“Then they called you.”  Brian pointed out.

Justin nodded.

“I went to his apartment and he had been drinking and taking drugs.”  Justin whimpered.  “He told me to leave and I said no.”

“What did he do?”  Brian asked as he started to grind his teeth together to calm down.

“He hit me.”  Justin stated.  “I let it go but he didn’t.  It made him angrier.  So he decided to push me against a wall and kiss me.”

Brian took Justin in his arms and felt his baby shaking.

“He was trying to force himself on me.  I…I kicked him in the balls and he fell to the floor.”  Justin murmured.  “Then I fucking left.  I left him Brian.  I knew what he had been trying to do and I just ran away like some scared little faggot.  He was so fucking weak and he needed me.”

Brian just held him tighter.

“And then they killed him.”  Justin chocked out.  “Just because I didn’t stayed with him.”

“It’s not your fault.”  Brian assured him.  “They would have gotten to you too.”

“Jimmy thought it was.  He blamed me for it.  I told him about the call and he got pissed.”  Justin sobbed.

“Baby, he’s just trying to find someone to blame.”  Brian told him.  “It wasn’t your fault.”

Brian rubbed circles around Justin’s lower back.

“Someone is out there seeking revenge and thinking I had something to do with this.”  

“What about the other guys?”  Brian asked getting his cell phone out.

“Tony died in a car accident.  Adam supposedly moved away and no one has ever heard from him again.  Curtis drowned in his pool.”

“God damn it Justin.  Is there anyone left.”  Brian asked shocked.  “Why didn’t you go to the police?”

Justin looked away.

“Justin.”

“At first…I was going to but then Jimmy came and told me not to or he was going to kill me.  Then his guys were watching me everywhere I went.  He didn’t wanted to go to jail for what had happened.”  Justin explained.  “Daphne offered to go but I was scared that they would do something to her.”

Brian nodded.

“I can’t keep doing this Brian.  I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I now baby.”  Brian whispered and hugged him.  

Brian called Ben to let him know where Justin was.

“Brian, is that you?”  Ben asked.  “Look I can’t help you right now.  I have a little situation here.”

“Justin is here.”  Brian said looking at Justin.

“Oh, well fuck me.”  Ben shouted.  “He is with Brian.”

“Color me fucking surprised.” Kevin’s shout dripping with sarcasm was heard.

“I’m on my way.”  Ben told him.

“He’s staying the night.”

“Brian.”  Ben used his warning tone.

“He’s staying.”  Brian told him again and hung up.

Brian picked Justin up and took him to bed.  They stayed hugging each other until they fell asleep.