Brian was coming out of school when he saw Memphis across the street. He smiled at the man and walked towards him. “Hey.” Memphis said. “I missed you.” Brian smiled. “I thought about you.” Brian admitted. Memphis smiled. “Want to have something to eat?” Memphis asked. “Sure.” Brian said. They went to an Italian restaurant not far from the school. Brian was happy that he was seeing Memphis again. There was something about the red-head that he couldn’t stop thinking about. “So, how you been?” Memphis asked. “Okay.” Brian told him. “You said you thought about me.” Memphis said looking away. Brian nodded. “I have. I’m so confused.” Brian told him. Memphis smiled and grabbed Brian’s hand. “I want to be with you.” Memphis told him. “I want to be with you too.” Brian assured him. Memphis smiled. “What about your boyfriend?” Memphis asked. Brian took a deep breath. “I don’t know.” Brian said. “I really don’t know.” Memphis nodded. The waiter came with their food and they started eating in silence at first but then they started talking about each other. Brian couldn’t stop listening to the older man. He was fascinated by him. They were interrupted by the ringing of Brian’s cell phone. Brian looked at his cell and saw that it was Justin. He took a deep breath and turned his cell phone off before he turned his whole attention back to Memphis. *** “You know ‘I told you so’ works so perfectly here.” Matthew said. “Shut the fuck up.” Justin said. “Brian will be back soon.” “Sure he will.” Matthew said going along with Justin was saying, but his tone said something else. “Stop it.” Justin told him. “Am I scaring you yet?” Matthew asked as he opened the bag of chips. Justin frowned. “You know what you need to do?” Matthew told him, munching on the potato chips. “You need to get your ass on a plane and go see him. Talk to him. Fuck him silly if you need to. Whatever works for you.” Justin sighed and sat next to Matthew. “I don’t go after people.” Justin explained. “Fuck that. Brian is not just anyone.” Matthew told him. “I know.” Justin said. “This is fucking crazy.” “So what are you going to do?” Matthew asked. Justin shrugged. “It’s none of your fucking business.” Justin told him. Matthew smiled and got up. He put the chips down and shook his head. “Don’t come crying to me later. I hope you use your brain on this.” Matthew told him. “Bye.” “Whatever.” Justin whispered and watched Matthew go. Justin frowned and knew he had to go pay Brian a visit soon. They had a lot to talk about. *** “I love you.” Memphis said smiling. Brian turned around and smiled. He got closer to the red-head and kissed him. “I love you too.” Brian told him. “Are you going to talk to him?” Memphis asked reaching for his shirt. “Talk to who?” Brian asked smirking. “Your boyfriend.” Memphis told him “About what?” Brian asked. “About breaking up.” Memphis said. “You don’t love him anymore.” Brian looked at Memphis and then at the floor. He was in so much trouble because he knew that he was still in love with Justin but also with Memphis. “Brian.” Memphis whispered. “Oh god.” “I’m sorry.” Brian told him. “I…god.” “I can’t believe you.” Memphis said. “What about us?” “I don’t know.” Brian said. “You have to decide what you want, Brian. You can’t keep playing with us.” Memphis told him. “I know.” Brian said. “I’m not playing. I’m just confused.” “Right.” Memphis said pulling away from Brian. “Don’t go.” Brian told him. “I’ll talk to him.” Memphis smiled and nodded. He kissed Brian and held him close. Brian watched him for a while and knew he had to talk to Justin. He just didn’t know what he was going to say to the blond. *** Justin was looking at Daphne like she was crazy as she ate her sandwich. He looked at Brandon who shrugged and smiled. He shook his head and smiled too. “You have weird cravings.” Justin told her. “Shut up.” Daphne said. Then the door to Brian’s room opened and the brunet came out. He walked to the kitchen and looked at Justin. Justin smiled when he saw Brian. “Hey.” Justin said. “Justin.” Brian said smiling and hugged him. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” “I wanted to surprise you.” Justin said and looked at Brian. “Are you going out?” “I was planning to.” Brian as his smile died. “But I can call and cancel.” There was a knock on the door and Brandon excused himself to open it. He came back looking serious with Memphis next to him. “Brian, are you ready?” Memphis asked. “Hi.” Memphis looked at Justin and Brian hugging. “You must be one of Brian’s friends. We are going out. You can come with us.” Memphis told him. Justin looked from Brian to Memphis. “And you are?” Justin asked. “I’m Memphis.” “Right.” Justin said taking a step back. Daphne took a deep breath and rubbed her belly. “Memphis, this is Justin. Justin, Memphis.” Brian said not sure what to do next. “You guys go and have fun.” Justin said dryly. “You should come with us.” Brian told him. “Nah, that’s okay.” Justin said. “I want to catch up with Daphne.” “I can stay.” Brian told him. “That’s okay, really. I’m not going anywhere.” Justin told him. “Okay.” Brian said. “I’ll see you in a bit.” Justin nodded. Daphne frowned knowing that by Justin’s look the blond wasn’t going to stay. Once Brian and Memphis were gone, Justin moved to the living room. Daphne and Brandon followed the blond. “Don’t go.” Daphne said. “God.” Justin said. “Did you see Brian? He fucking likes him. Matthew was fucking right.” Brandon looked at Daphne with a worried expression. “Justin.” Brandon said. “My brother loves you.” Justin laughed resentfully. “Right.” Justin said taking his bag. “I’ll call you later, Daph.” Daphne nodded and watched him go. “This is not good.” Brandon said. “No.” Daphne said before she went back to the kitchen. “What are we going to do?” Brandon asked. “We can’t do anything, Bran. Brian is not a baby. This is serious. Is not some mistake he makes and you can get him out of it. Brian is man now and he has to make his own decisions.” Daphne informed him. “So we do nothing?” Brian asked. “We wait.” Daphne simply said. *** Brian was sitting in the booth just staring at his food. “What’s going on?” Memphis asked. “Aren’t you hungry?” Brian sighed. “That was Justin.” Brian said. “You told me that already.” Memphis said grinning. “That is my boyfriend.” Brian told him. “Oh.” Memphis said. They stayed silent for a long while. Then Brian got up and threw a few bills on the table. “Where are you going?” Memphis asked looking straight ahead instead of at Brian. “I should have stayed.” Brian murmured. “Please stay.” Memphis told him weakly. “Please.” Brian took a deep breath and sat back down. *** Daphne hid the cookies under the cushions when she heard the door being unlocked. Brian came in and looked at her with an arched brow. “What are you doing up so late?” Brian asked. Daphne shrugged. “Is everyone else sleeping?” Brian asked. “Brandon is sleeping.” Daphne said. “And Justin?” Brian asked. Daphne shrugged. “Where is Justin?” Brian asked scared. Daphne took the remote and hit the off button. She got up and looked at Brian. “He left.” Daphne said. “But he said…” “And you believed him?” Daphne asked. “Why did he leave?” Brian asked. “I don’t know.” Daphne said. “I guess he felt a little…hurt.” Brian bit his lower lip. “I was just out with a friend.” Brian pointed out. “Right.” Daphne said sarcastically as she smiled. “I can’t believe him.” Brian spat out. “What was he supposed to do? Wait, while his boyfriend had fun with…whatever the fuck Memphis is?” Daph asked angrily. Brian frowned. “You don’t understand.” Brian said. “No. I don’t.” Daphne told him. “You make your mind up, Brian. But don’t leave Justin with the doubt of not knowing what’s going on. You are either with him or you are not.” Brian watched her go and felt the tears coming out. He walked to his room and closed the door. He sat on the bed and reached for his pillow. He held on tightly and thought of Justin and of Memphis. He really didn’t know what he was going to do. He loved both of them. *** Michael took the can of soda and eyed Brian reading a comic. He had come to see how everyone was doing and also to talk to the brunet. “So, who is this Memphis I hear so much about?” Michael asked. Brian shrugged. “He is some guy I know.” Brian told him. “Right.” Michael whispered. “Are you feeling lonely?” Brian looked up and Michael with an arched brow. “What is it?” Michael asked. “Why would you throw everything you have with Justin away so easily?” “I haven’t broken up with Justin.” Brian pointed out. “We are just going through a rough time. We used to have our moments, you know.” “This is a little different.” Michael said. “So I fuck him.” Brian said putting the comic away. “Big deal.” “Do you love him?” Michael asked putting the can down. Brian took a deep breath. “I don’t know…yes.” Brian said biting his lower lip. “What about Justin?” Michael asked. “I love him too.” Brian whispered. “I love them both. But…” “But what?” Michael asked. “I love spending time with Memphis.” Brian told him. “He makes me laughs and everything is so easy.” “So that’s it, huh?” Michael asked. “What do you want me to do?” Brian asked. “Memphis is like…everything I ever wanted. And so is Justin. It’s just harder with Justin. Do you know that I black mailed Justin to be with me. Jesus.” Michael shook his head. “I didn’t know that.” Michael told him biting his lower lip. “But I’m sure that, that is not why Justin is with you.” “I know.” Brian said. “And I wish I knew what was going on with me but…I don’t know. I miss Justin but when I am with Memphis…I just forget about everything else. We go out more. He likes to spend time with me.” “And Justin doesn’t?” Michael asked. “Half of the time I had to force him, Mikey!” Brian screamed. “You don’t know half of it.” “No! You don’t know half of it. He has come a long way for you. For you! You shit!” Michael hissed. “Fuck this.” Michael got up and took his jacket. “I need a breath of fresh air. All this crap is getting to me.” Michael told him. “Fuck you.” Brian hissed. “No, fuck you, Brian.” Michael told him. “And love is not easy. It’s hard work between two people.” Michael then turned around to leave the room. “Ben’s advises rubbing off on you?” Brian asked sarcastically. “I guess they are.” Michael yelled and opened the door. Michael stayed silent as he gripped the handle. He turned back and walked towards Brian. “I hope you know what you are doing. I’m sorry I screamed at you. I’m leaving. I’ll talk to you later.” Michael told him. Brian watched him go and then sat down. He grabbed a slice of pizza, but then frowned and put it back. He didn’t know what to do anymore. *** About a month later after Justin had gone to New York, he finally called Brian. He had been struggling to make the call, but he had to talk to the brunet. “Hey.” Justin said. “Hey.” Brian said back. “I miss you.” Justin stayed quiet. “So, how is everything?” Justin asked. “Okay.” Brian told him. “Don’t you hate New York anymore?” Justin asked. “It kind of grows on you.” Brian told him. Justin scoffed. “I see.” Justin said. “So, you are having a good time?” Justin asked. “Sure.” Brian told him. “Anyway, I thought about this and I don’t think it’s going to work.” Justin told him. “What are you talking about?” Brian asked licking his lips. “We are not working Brian.” Justin said sadly. “That’s not true.” Brian said. “You haven’t called me in a month.” Justin pointed out. “You were mad at me.” Brian told him. “Yeah. Before, you would have called me or even come here and made me talk to you.” Justin said. Brian closed his eyes, knowing it was true. “Jus.” Brian whispered. “I don’t know what’s going on.” Justin smiled. “You are in love with someone else.” Justin told him. “Or maybe I’m just confused.” Brian said. “Well, I was thinking that it would be better if you and I take a break.” Justin said. “You can make up your mind about what you want. I mean you are young and you need to see the world or whatever the fuck.” “What do you mean?” Brian asked, knowing what Justin was saying. “Well, you want to meet other people and I understand.” Justin said. “I want you to have fun.” Brian tears were falling now. “So is that it?” Brian asked. “The first sign of trouble and you are just going to run.” “It looks like.” Justin said dryly. Brian cleaned his tears. “Well, I think that’s fucked up, Justin.” Brian told him. “Maybe I’m just missing you and…” “Brian, stop it.” Justin told him. They stayed quiet for a few seconds. “Can I still call you?” Brian asked. “Anytime you want.” Justin assured him. “I have to go.” Justin took a deep breath and hung up. “You are like really stupid, man.” Matthew told him. “Whatever.” Justin said. “He is.” Michael said. “That was not the plan, you fucking idiot.” Matthew said. “You were supposed to talk to him and try to make things better. What the fuck?” Matthew ran his fingers through his hair and then looked at Justin serving himself a glass of scotch. He looked at Michael who shook his head not to say anything else. “Justin, maybe if you go see him…” Matthew tried to say to the blond. “Shut the fuck up.” Justin yelled. “And get the fuck out.” Justin turned his back on them and went to his room. He couldn’t believe that he and Brian were truly over. *** “Hello?” Justin said. “Hey. It’s me, Brandon. We need to talk.” Brandon told him. “What’s wrong?” Justin asked scared. “Is Brian okay? Daphne? You?” Brandon smiled. “We are okay. Brian is okay…actually, he is not.” Brandon said. “He’s been getting into a few fights at school and he is in a bad mood.” “Tell Memphis to fix it.” Justin said annoyed. “That’s not the problem.” Brandon told him. “Why not? I’m sure his new boyfriend can talk to him and calm Brian down.” Justin assured him. “Yeah, but you are the problem. He misses you or something. I don’t know. You need to talk to him.” Brandon explained. Justin took a deep breath. “What the fuck am I supposed to do?” Justin asked getting angry. “You were also friends, weren’t you?” Brandon asked. Justin nodded as he got up from his desk. He stayed quiet as he paced around. “Are you still there?” Brandon asked. “I’ll go as soon as I can.” Justin told him. “Thank you.” Brandon told him. “Whatever.” Justin whispered. Justin hung up and stayed looking out of the window. He didn’t dare hope for anything. He just was going to see Brian…just a friend. *** Brian went inside his room and gasped. Justin looked at Brian and smiled a little. “What are you doing here?” Brian asked. Justin shrugged and got up. “I came to see you.” Justin said. “Why?” Brian asked. “You don’t care about me.” “That’s not true.” Justin told him. “Then why did you leave me?” Brian asked. “I just want you to be happy.” Justin answered him. Brian took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “But I love you.” Brian said. “That’s why you have a new boyfriend?” Justin asked smirking. “Right.” Brian took a deep breath and frowned. “I…” “Daphne told me.” Justin informed him. “So, do you love him?” “Yeah. He is my friend and well…” Brian whispered. “God, Justin I’m sorry. I don’t know what to do.” Justin nodded. “It didn’t bother you before who I fucked.” Brian told him. Justin laughed cynically. “I can deal with you fucking other guys. Hell, I could even deal with you fucking other girls. What I can’t handle is you fucking him…again and again.” Justin told him. “You…loving him.” “I’ll stop.” Brian promised. “Please…just…give me a chance. I love you.” “What about him?” Justin asked. “You said you loved him too.” Brian looked at the floor and then turned around and sat in the bed. “Justin.” Brian muttered. “He makes feel something more…like you do.” “What?” Justin asked. “I don’t know what to do.” Brian confessed. Justin sat next to him and put his arms around the brunet. “I always thought you were the only one that could make me feel like that.” Brian said crying. “I don’t know what happen.” “It’s not your fault.” Justin told him pushing his own tears back. “Shit happens.” Brian smiled slightly and looked at Justin. “What should I do?” Brian asked sniffing. “What?” “Don’t do anything. I’ll be here for you.” Justin told him. “I will still be your friend.” Brian nodded and hugged Justin tight to him. “Are you sure?” Brian asked. “Yeah.” Justin told him. “Thank you.” Brian told him hugging Justin. Justin closed his eyes. He was hurt. He wanted to be more than a friend. “I’ll never stop being your friend that I promise you.” Justin told him. Brian smiled and looked at Justin. He kissed the blond on the cheek. “You are the best.” Brian told him. “I thought you would hate me for sure.” “No way.” Justin told him. Justin stayed there sitting on the bed holding Brian in his arms. He didn’t know what else to do. He didn’t want Brian out of his life. He wanted the brunet to be happy. So he would just step away and they could be just friends and hope that Brian was wrong about Memphis and would come back to him some day.