This is for Aida who always cheers me up. Thank you, babe. Thanks to the beta, CuJo. Enjoy everyone. Sorry this took so long. If there are any mistakes they are all mine. I tend to add stuff at the last minute. He, he.
“So this is the place,” Michael said as he looked at the new loft. “It’s big.” Justin nodded. “Have you told Brian yet?” Michael asked. Justin shook his head. He frowned and got up from the chair. “He thinks I’m just here this weekend.” “Oh,” Michael smiled and shook his head. “This is going to be trouble.” “I didn’t want to hear that. Thank you very much,” Justin bit his upper lip as he looked around the loft. “He isn't going to like it.” “The loft? Of course,” Michael smiled and sat down. “The lying…mmm, you are so dead.” “I know that,” Justin grabbed his box of cigarettes and lit one. He looked at Michael and shook his head. “He was so happy and I didn’t want to rain on his parade.” Michael shook his head and got up. He walked over to Justin and put his arm around the blond. “You guys are going to be just fine.” “He is going to be pissed,” Justin said. He scratched the back of his head. “Something tells me that once I am there. I won’t be going back and I do want him to come with me…I just don’t know if he is going to want to.” Michael looked out the window and knew that Brian was going to be wherever the blond was. He also knew that he was going to kick and scream before he made that trip to New York. Brian could be a drama queen and Justin was just about to find out. *** Brian looked at Justin and knew something was up. “Hey,” Justin kissed him and kept walking towards the bedroom. Brian frowned not liking it one bit. He followed Justin and then watched as Justin sat on the bed and stared at nothing. “Are you going to say something?” Brian asked. “How did it go?” “Brian,” Justin looked at Brian. He didn’t know how to start. “I am moving to New York.” Brian opened his mouth and shook his head. “What the fuck are you talking about?” he asked screaming. His heart was beating fast and he was thinking the worst; mainly that Justin didn’t want to be with him anymore. Justin sighed. “It’s just for a few months, Brian.” Brian frowned. “I’m coming back,” Justin told him. “Or you can come with me.” Brian shook his head not wanting to believe what he was hearing. He thought for a few seconds and then nodded to himself at what was going through his mind. “You lied.” “I’m sorry,” Justin looked away. “You’ve never done that to me before,” Brian whispered. He was so fucking hurt. “I didn’t want to hurt you. And I’m telling you now,” Justin muttered as he got up from the bed. “You didn’t want to hurt me?” Brian backed away from the blond. “You lied to me, Justin!” “No,” Justin said. “I just…I didn’t know how to tell you. But I am now, so that’s not lying.” Brian closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair. He shook his head, turned around and left their bedroom. Justin followed him. “Where are you going, Brian?” Justin asked as he went down the stairs. Brian was grabbing his jacket and his keys. “Away from your lying ass!” “I want you to come with me,” Justin said as he followed the brunet. “I’m in school Justin,” Brian hissed. “After,” Justin told him. Brian turned around and stared at Justin. “What the fuck do you mean?” “I would like for us to live over there,” Justin smiled and tried to reach for Brian but the brunet pulled away and walked faster towards the door. “We have to talk about this, Brian,” Justin told him. “Stop acting like a goddamn kid!” Brian stopped and turned around once again. He glared at Justin and then smiled crookedly. “Fine, you said what you had to say. My turn, I think that you should go and do whatever you want. But don’t think for a minute that I am going with you! I’m not leaving my school or my friends. So do your job and come back when you are done,” he said calmly. “If you even want to come back that is.” Justin gripped the back of the sofa and closed his eyes. He opened them again when he heard the door slam closed. He sighed and went up to his room to get his stuff ready. When he was done, he waited for Brian to come home. He waited the whole night and the rest of the week, but the brunet didn’t come back and he just had to leave. He was certain that Brian would come around even thought he was scared as hell that Brian didn’t. *** Matthew sat at the edge of the bed and shook Brian awake. He smiled when Brian opened his eyes. “What time is it?” Brian asked. “Eleven,” Matthew saw the bags under Brian’s eyes. “What time did you go to sleep?” Brian shrugged as he sat up in the bed. “Come on,” Matthew said getting up. “I’ll make breakfast.” “I’m not hungry,” Brian told him. “You have to eat something,” Matthew sighed not knowing what he was going to do with Brian if he kept the same attitude. “He left today,” Brian told Matthew. Matthew stopped and stared at Brian. He sat back down and caressed Brian’s arm. “Did you talk to him?” Brian shook his head. A tear escaped his left eye. “Brian, don’t do this,” Matthew told him. “He’s coming back.” “What if he doesn’t?” Brian asked. “Then you follow him,” Matthew said. “Things are going to be okay.” Brian sighed and shook his head. “I can’t do this.” Matthew hugged him. “Yes, Brian. You can.” “Can I stay here for a few more days?” Brian asked. “I don’t want to go back to the loft. It’s empty now.” Matthew nodded. “Val comes here all the time. Just in case you are walking around naked and he appears…you were warned.” Brian laughed and nodded. “Maybe you should call Justin,” Matthew suggested as he got up. Brian shook his head. He got up and stretched. “I’m going to take a shower and then I am going to work.” Matthew watched Brian go and sighed. He knew that Brian was stubborn and he would just have to work a little harder for Brian to accept that Justin was gone but was coming back. He heard a knock on the door and smiled when he heard Val calling him. He went to see his boyfriend and forgot about Brian’s problem for a while. *** “Go ahead, tell me what you think,” Justin said as he held Melissa. “I think that it’s your problem and it has nothing to do with us,” Brandon said. Daphne smiled. “He wants to strangle you.” Brandon rolled his eyes at his wife. Justin laughed. “I don’t blame him. Brian wants to strangle me too.” Daphne shook her head. “Bian,” Melissa blurted out as she looked at Justin. She was calling for her uncle and looking all around the place looking for him. “He’s not here, baby,” Justin told her. “She thinks he is,” Daphne told him. “When you come to visit us you are always with Brian.” Justin nodded and looked back at Melissa. He kissed her and gave her to her father. Brandon took his daughter and sat her on his lap. “I haven’t talked to Brian,” Justin told them. “He won’t answer my calls.” Daphne sighed as she looked at Brandon. “I think she needs to be changed,” Brandon said as he got up. Justin and Daphne stayed sitting on the sofa. She threw an arm around his shoulders and smiled. “I miss him like hell,” Justin told her. “I know you do,” Daphne told him. Justin sighed. “I want him to be here but he wants to finish school over there and he…he doesn’t want to leave his friends.” Daphne just nodded and listened. “I don’t know what to do. I want…I want to move here,” Justin rubbed his face. “I don’t know if he is going to want to come. He is so fucking pissed because I didn’t say anything before. This is what the whole silent treatment is about.” Daphne laughed. “You are crazy. Of course he will come with you no matter how mad he is now.” Justin shrugged and touched his ring. He wanted Brian to be here with him. “Nice,” Daphne said grabbing his hand. Justin just smiled. “I'm going to make dinner. Want to help me?” Daphne asked. “I should go,” Justin said getting up. “I can’t.” Daphne got up too and hugged him. “You'll be okay.” “Give a kiss to Melissa and say goodbye to Brandon,” Justin told her. “Are you sure you don’t want to stay and eat?” Daphne asked. Justin nodded. “I have a lot of work to do.” Daphne nodded and didn’t insist anymore. Justin walked to the door and got out. He went down the stairs and exited the building. “Justin,” Brandon said as Justin stepped outside. Justin turned around and looked at Brandon. “Is this where you kick the shit out of me?” Brandon smirked and leaned against the doorway. “I just want to say that…that I know that you guys are going to be okay. I might not be okay with you leaving him alone but he is an adult. He's not going to die just because he isn’t next to you for a few months.” Justin thought that he was already dying not having the brunet next to him, but he didn’t say anything. “My brother loves you,” Brandon said. “And you guys have gone through a lot of things to be together. This is nothing. Not a thing in the many obstacles that you have had.” Justin let out a laugh. “You got that fucking right.” Brandon heard Daphne calling him from upstairs. “I’m okay, Daphne!” Justin yelled as he looked at a window. “He’s not killing me.” Brandon laughed and shook his head. “I’ll see you.” Justin watched him go inside before he turned to walk away. He shoved his hands into his pocket and decided to walk awhile before he took a taxi back to his apartment; back to his empty apartment. *** Val grimaced as Brian got up and went to the bathroom. “He doesn’t look too good.” “How would you feel if your lover left you?” Matthew asked. “Justin didn’t leave him,” Val pointed out. Matthew rolled his eyes. “You're his cousin. You would say that.” “And you are Brian’s friend and are seeing his point of view only,” Val smirked and crossed his arms. “Whatever,” Matthew told him. Val smirked and got up. He went to the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge. “You need to go buy food.” Matthew rolled his eyes and he looked at the project in front of him. He was almost certain that he didn’t have to do anything else to it, but he was reading it to make sure. “Did you hear me?” Val asked opening his beer. “Yes,” Matthew told him. “You know,” Val said. “I was thinking.” “Uh, oh,” Matthew mocked. Val sat next to his man. “Do you want to move in with me?” Matthew frowned and looked at Val. “What?” “You heard me,” Val told him taking a sip and leaning closer to Matthew. “Have you lost your fucking mind?” Matthew asked. “Move in with you? Ah…you…ugh…you’re nuts!” Val smiled and shrugged. “Is that a no?” “No,” Matthew told him. “It’s…it’s…ugh.” Val laughed. “I don’t think it's a good idea, Val.” Matthew told him. “Why not?” Val asked frowning. “It's just not a good idea,” Matthew sighed and put his papers down. “Don’t do this,” Val told him. “I never ask much from our relationship.” Matthew sighed and looked at Val. “And I do?” “Yes,” Val told him. “We always do whatever you want. If you decide you want to do something with your friends I have to cancel our plans no matter what. I want to be with you and you…you are just playing around.” “I never asked for this,” Matthew got up, moving away from Val. “You are the one that kept coming after me.” “And you liked it. And you know you love me. But I am tired, Matthew. I keep giving you so much and yet,” Val sighed. “You keep turning me down and you might lose me.” “Is that supposed to be a fucking threat?” Matthew asked angrily. “No, it's just the truth!” Val yelled as he got up too. “Fuck you,” Matthew hissed. Val stared at him. “So that’s your final answer.” “Get out,” Matthew told him dead serious. “Matthew,” Val muttered. “Get the fuck out,” Matthew shouted. “No!” Val yelled back. “I’m not going anywhere.” “Shut the fuck up!” Brian yelled at them. Matthew and Val looked at an angry Brian. “At least you have each other,” Brian spat out as he shook his head. He walked past them and to the door. “Matt…just give him a chance,” he told his friend and then he was gone. Matthew looked at Val and then away. Val walked slowly to him and then wrapped his arms around the blond. He gave him a kiss and then pulled away. “I'm going to go home,” Val whispered. “I’ll call you.” Matthew stayed in his apartment feeling very alone. He knew that Val was right. He had never really opened up completely and was always looking for a pretext for them not to do things together because deep down he was scared of getting hurt. He looked around and had a slight idea of how lonely Brian felt and his lover was still in the same city. *** “I’ve been trying to call him like crazy and no one has seen him,” Justin said to Ben. “I am going to call Michael to see if he has had any luck.” Ben was inside Woodies. “Hold on a minute,” he said as he looked around. “I found him. Let me talk to him. If it doesn’t work, I’ll call you,” Ben hung up on Justin and looked at Brian who was at the bar. He walked up to him and smiled at the brunet. “What do you want?” Brian asked. “A beer would be fine, thank you,” Ben sat down on the stool and waited. Brian nodded and signaled for the bartender to get another beer for Ben. He stared at the man and waited for what Ben was going to say to him. “Slow night,” Ben said looking around. Brian sighed. “Just say it.” “Say what?” Ben asked. “You always have something deep to say. You always have the perfect thing to say, don’t you?” Brian asked. “Go ahead then.” Ben grabbed his beer and took a sip. “I was without Michael for a whole year and we survived.” Brian waited for more but nothing else came. “That’s all you're going to say?” Ben nodded. Brian groaned in frustration. “That doesn’t help me. I miss him like crazy.” “Let’s talk about it,” Ben told him. Brian frowned and stared at his beer. “I…I gave up going to college in California with a full scholarship for him,” Brian told him. Ben nodded and then looked at Brian. “And?” Ben asked. “I thought he would do the same for me. I mean, turn down the offer to stay here with me,” Brian said. “It’s what he always wanted, Brian,” Ben told him. “Don’t you want him to be recognized as an artist?” “I do,” Brian told him. “Can’t he do it here?” Ben shrugged. “Can you love him from anywhere?” Brian shut his eyes and felt like crying. He opened them and looked at Ben. “Yeah, I can.” “He is not letting go of you,” Ben assured him. “He was frantic just now, not knowing where you were.” Brian frowned. “I told him to fuck off. Jeez, I’m such a fucking brat.” “I know,” Ben got up and put his arm around Brian. “Talk to him,” he smiled and then left Brian alone. “Stop being mad at him.” Brian sighed as he stayed there. It was true, he was mad at Justin. Ben said goodbye and left him alone. “Fuck,” Brian said as he pushed his beer away and reached for his cell phone. He turned it on and checked all the messages he had. Most of them were from Justin, going from relaxed to frantic just looking for him. Others were from the rest of the family trying to reach him as well. He dialed the familiar number and waited. “Brian?” Justin asked worried. “It’s me,” Brian whispered. “You asshole!” Justin hissed. “Are you okay?” Brian smiled a little bit. “I’m okay.” “Good,” Justin sighed and stayed quiet. “I miss you,” Brian told him. “I’m sorry. I’ve been an idiot.” Justin closed his eyes and hoped that things would get better now. Brian got up, putting some money at the bar. Then he just went home while he talked with the blond he had been missing like hell. *** “My mom is so going to freak!” Molly yelled. She couldn’t believe that Harry wanted to marry her. “More than you are right now?” Harry asked. Molly stopped pacing to look at him for a second. “I can’t believe you still want to be with me,” Molly told him. Harry put his hand on Molly’s still flat stomach. “I want to be his father.” Molly smiled widely. “Maybe we shouldn’t tell Matthew anything,” Harry suggested. “Then there would be fewer problems.” Molly swallowed and thought about it. Matthew had a right to know but she wanted the baby to be okay. Not to have two parents living in different places. It’s not how he had pictured herself having a family. “Molly!” Jennifer called when she arrived. “We are here.” Molly frowned. “Stay here while I go talk to her.” Harry nodded and sat on Molly’s bed. Molly quickly went down the steps. She was about to tell the good new to her mother when she saw Matthew with her. “Hey,” Matthew told her not knowing what else to say. “Hi,” Molly frowned and looked at the floor. “Don’t worry, honey,” Jennifer said walking over to her daughter. “I already told Matthew and he has agreed to help and be there for his son or daughter.” Molly opened her eyes big. “What?” “It’s okay,” Matthew said. “I’ll leave you guys to talk,” Jennifer told them. She smiled at Molly and then walked away. Matthew and Molly looked at each not knowing what to say. “When did you found out?” Matthew asked. “Just a few days ago,” Molly told him. “Why didn’t you call me right away?” Matthew asked her as he walked closer. Molly shrugged and looked at the floor. “Uh, what are you doing here?” Molly asked Matthew. “Your mom just told me and I had to see you,” Matthew told her. Molly swallowed. “Does Harry know?” Matthew asked. Molly nodded. “He says he wants to be here for me and the baby.” Matthew smiled. “He’s a good guy.” Molly frowned and turned her back on him. “Molly,” Matthew whispered and walked over to her. “What’s wrong?” he put his hands on her shoulders. “I think is best if…if I have the kid with Harry,” Molly stuttered. Matthew frowned. “What do you mean?” “I want to raise this baby with Harry. Is what he wants too,” Molly told him. Matthew frowned and pulled away from her. “You don’t want me to be the father? But I am the father.” “Yeah,” Molly said. “I know that,” she turned around to look at him. “But it’s best for the baby.” Matthew walked away from her and grabbed his coat that he had put on the stool. He walked back to her and shook his head. “Just so you know. You are going to have to kill me, Molly, because only over my dead body am I going to abandon my child. That child is mine and I am going to be part of his life whether you like it or not.” Molly closed her eyes as she watched him go. Minutes later Jennifer came back into in the kitchen. “What happen?” Jennifer asked. “I am going to get married to Harry,” Molly whispered. “I just want to make him happy and he wants to be the father of the baby.” Jennifer sighed and brought her hands to her head. “Molly, don’t start this nonsense.” “What?” Molly asked. “I want to marry him!” “Fine!” Jennifer yelled back. “But don’t try to take that baby away from Matthew. It’s not fair to him.” Molly turned around and went to her room. She and Harry needed to talk about what they were going to do. *** “You are such a pig!” Joy yelled. “Me?!” Brian asked indignantly. “What about you?” Joy looked at him and smiled widely. “Fuck you, Brian,” Joy said shaking her head as she gave the movie all of her attention. Brian pushed her back. “Admit it!” Joy laughed and shook her head. “I’m a lady.” “I think you burped longer than me,” Brian laughed and sat in his place, leaving her alone. “So I win!” Joy yelled sending her arms into the air. “Whoo hoo!” “Pig!” Brian told her. “Loser,” Joy laughed and got up to get something to eat. Brian smiled and shrugged. “Whatever.” Joy laughed and put her head on Brian’s shoulder. “I like hanging with you, Kinney.” Brian smiled and looked at her. “You are just saying that because you get free food and movies.” “That too,” Joy laughed as she grabbed a bag of potato chips. “No, really. You are fun.” Brian shrugged. “I'm not feeling too fun right now.” Joy walked back and sat down. She kissed him on the cheek and smiled. “Stop the fucking drama. You are going to get married soon. Jeez, Brian. I would be so happy. I wouldn't care if I had to move to a rock to marry Justin.” Brian arched a brow. “Do you have a crush on him?” Joy laughed and shook her head. “You got to admit that the man is hot. He is smart and he loves you so much,” she grabbed her beer and drank the last of it. Brian smiled widely and stared at his ring. “Thank for staying with me,” he told her. Joy nodded and put the empty bottle in the floor. “It’s my pleasure.” “Want a beer?” Brian asked. Joy nodded and Brian got up and went to get a beer for her and one for him. They kept watching movies and drinking until Brian couldn’t see straight. “I think…” Brian said but never finished the thought. “What?” Joy asked him, rubbing her left eye. “What?” Brian asked. Joy laughed and shook her head. “You are drunk,” Joy pointed out. “I think so,” Brian told her. “Come on. I’ll help you to bed,” Joy got up and started walking ahead. Brian followed her. “I think you are drunk too. Would you sleep with me? The bed feels so big.” “Sure,” Joy opened the door to the bedroom and they went inside. Brian didn’t even bother to take off his clothes. He just got in the bed face down. Joy got in the bed and curled into a ball next to him. “My head hurts,” Joy muttered. Brian said something but it came out like a groan to her. Joy looked at him and shrugged. “I miss Justin,” Brian said as he moved his head to the side to look at the red head. Joy opened her eyes and looked at him. She moved closer and threw her arm around him. “It’s going to be okay. Six months are going to go by in a flash and then you can go and join him.” Brian nodded. “Thank you. But I miss him now.” Joy kissed him on the lips and then closed her eyes ready to go to sleep. “Call him,” she said hoping Brian did. She pretended like she was sleeping to see if Brian would call Justin. She wanted to make sure that the call would cheer Brian up. Brian turned to his side and fought with his pocket until he managed to get his cell phone out. Then he looked at it and dropped it on the bed. He half crawled and half drag himself to the night stand to reach for the house phone. Joy had been watching him and just giggled. “Jesus, you are drunk. Why don’t you use your cell phone?” “What?” Brian asked very slowly. “Nothing,” Joy said in the same slow voice. Then she closed her eyes once again. Brian ignored her and dialed Justin’s number. He waited for the blond to pick it up. “Hello,” A voice that wasn’t Justin's answered. “Who is this?” Brian asked. “Who is this?” The man asked. “Where is Justin?” Brian asked annoyed. “We are busy right now,” the guy said. “Who are you?” Brian frowned and hung up the phone. He looked at Joy and nudged her with his foot. “I know you're not asleep.” Joy sighed and turned onto her back. She opened her eyes and looked at the brunet. “What?” “He’s with someone else,” Brian’s voice sounded broken. Joy sighed and crawled over to Brian. “It’s not like he promised he would be monogamous,” Brian sighed. “I’m so sorry,” Joy whispered. Brian shook his head and stared at her. He was okay or so he wanted to believe. Joy straddled him and hugged him. Brian pushed her on her back and a tear ran down. Joy kissed him on the mouth again only this time she didn’t pull away. Brian closed his eyes and kept on kissing her. He wanted to feel something other than broken.