All The World's A Stage One Last Refrain "Glory, From the pretty boy front man. Who wasted opportunity. One song. He had the world at his feet."- Jonathan Larson Present Time: "Brian, are you alright?" Justin asked nearing the frail looking man before him. Brian said nothing, he never heard the dancer speak. His brain had gone into overload. He remembered everything about the night of the recital. He remembered the way Justinĺs lips felt as they kissed his flesh, his ears tingled even now as a memory of the boyĺs moan danced through his head, it was all there, every kiss, every word of love spoken and every single fucking caress and climax. As quickly as that lost memory surfaced more, painful ones surfaced. His body involuntarily shook from the shock of them. He had made it into Danielĺs apartment that night. Flashes of Daniel pushing him around, grabbing onto his writs painfully and dragging him to the bedroom. The fear he felt in those moments was all real and new in this one. Justin did not know what to do. He thought of calling for a doctor when Brian didnĺt answer him right away, but he couldnĺt bring himself to walk away from the hand the unconsciously reached out and grasped his arm as though it were a life line. At first Justin was in shock but when Brian let out a small moan and looked into his eyes Justin knelt beside Brianĺs chair and engulfed the man in a hug. It felt so heavenly to finally touch Brian after so long but it was frightening him too. All thought to his own safety went out the window hen Brian slid from his chair to the tile floor where Justin was and started to sob. ôI didnĺt want to leave you, he lied to me. I didnĺt remember.ö These words were choked out over and over again. Justin found his own tears staining his face. His small body cradled the larger man close to him whispering words of comfort. While cries of misunderstandings, lies, and regret bore into his ears leaving him more than a little confused. FLASHBACK ôDaniel, no, please I donĺt think this is working between us.ö Brian said crying, trying to release himself from the larger angered manĹs hold.. Daniel spun around and pinned Brian against the wall to their hallway. ôYOU DONöT THINK THIS IS WORKING!!!ö He spat each word into Brianĺs face. Chills of fear crept up Brianĺs spine. ôNnn..ö Before Brian could get the word out he felt a hard punch go to his gut. The next thing he knew he was on Danielĺs bed, his clothes being torn off of him. ôStop fucking fighting this Brian. I know itĺs what you want.ö Danielĺs dark coal like eyes dared him to differ. And Brian did. He kicked Daniel in the chest but that wasnĺt enough to stop the man. ôYou like it rough Doll?ö Daniel asked and started to punch Brian in the face repeatedly. Brian cried out and struggled, but soon his muscles gave out and he could only lay their as his former lover stripped his clothing and flipped him onto his stomach. Danielĺs weight crushed the younger man into submission. The crying ballerina felt the abuserĺs thick rough hands part the cheeks of his bottom. He tried to imagine it was the blond doing this to him but then pushed those beautiful memories far, far away from this terrifying reality. The sound of a condom wrapper sliced into his head along with the beating of his erratic heart. He prayed to god and anybody else to stop what he knew was the inevitable. As his ass was spread apart Brian thought he was going to be killed for sure when he felt the manĺs cock halt itsĺ rise to his hole. The cold air hit his warm orifice and he knew what Daniel was seeing. This scared him more than anything. ôWell you fucking dancing slut! You let someone else fuck you! Shoot their cum inside you.ö With every other word spoken their was a loud thump to his back, he could feel a crack and an enormous amount of pain. The angry latex covered rod was placed at his hole. ôAt least your lubed up, cause I am not going to stop fucking you until you pass out!ö Brianĺs asshole felt like it was sliced open. He cried out. ôJustin.ö Another hard thump to his back and he was gone. Then he was waking in the hospital, dazed, memory lost, with his loving boyfriend telling him he was mugged outside his apartment. Of course, Brian was on so many pain killers at that point, he accepted any calm words spoken to him as truth. After all, how else would he have ended up in the hospital? PRESENT Justin listened to the broken sobs of sentences about the abuse and lies. Then the name Daniel Montgomery grazed Brianĺs lips and traveled to the blondeĺs ears. It caused him to stop rocking Brian. Daniel Montgomery was the man who his parents left his care to. He still had seen none of the manĺs caring side. All the Montgomeryĺs ever wanted of Justin was a play toy to mold into the perfect ballerina. At least thatĺs what Danielĺs wife wanted. Justin learned at an early age to stay away from the man. He also knew that Daniel could not give two shits about his well being as long as he kept Mrs. Montgomery out of his hair and entertained. In turn any of Justinĺs dreams were spoiled and forgotten. All except one, and it seemed now, somehow it was Daniel Montgomery that had cost him the only one he had left, the one that flourished the day Brian rocked with him in class. ôBrian, itĺs okay.ö Justin whispered. ôBut if I hadnĺt gone, if, if, I didnĺt answer that phone, I knew it was him.ö Brian wiped the tears from his face. Justin had tears rolling down his cheeks. ôNo, Brian, if you didnĺt answer the call he would have come to the dorms and found you.ö Justin touched the side of Brianĺs face and stared into his eyes with afferent and assurance. ôIf I knew that Gus was yours I would never have kept you from him.ö Brian whispered. ôI know that Brian.ö Then Justin thought of the last few years and how he had sponsored Gus Kinney. Justin could not help but smile. Brian noticed the grin that spread across Justinĺs face and the faraway look in his eyes. ôJustin, what is it.ö Justin laughed a little. ôI have been Gusĺ sponsor.ö ôWhat?ö Brian asked amazed. ôI am the person who has been sponsoring Gus!ö Justin smiled looking like a child. Like his child. It made Brianĺs heart flutter. ôWhen my parents died they left me money in a trust fund, but the only way I could use it was for my own housing or charities until I was 25, unless I got married or had aů..ö Justin trailed off on the last word. He now did have a child. ôWhat?ö Brian asked seeing sadness once again enter Justinĺs baby blues. Justin shook his head to clear it from the dark thoughts. ôA child.ö He looked over at Gus and smiled and then back at Brian. ôWell, now you do have a child. That is if you want to be his father Justin.ö Brian said softly. He didnĺt want to scare the blond away. No, he and Gus had gotten along just fine before and he wasnĺt going to force his son on Justin. Justin smiled. ôYes, Brian.ö Justin embraced the ex-ballerina and whispered in his ear. ôGus is a beautiful boy and I have waited a long time to be a father.ö FLASHBACK+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Brian was told to take as much time as was needed to recover form the attack before going back to the classes at the ABC. His favorite instructor, Mrs. Lintel stopped by with soups and the occasional batch of cookies. She was his only visitor. Daniel refused to go to Brianĺs room at the dorms. He told Brian it was too risky and once Brianĺs 18th birthday hit the next month they wouldnĺt have to hide anything. Of course Daniel was really only staying with Brian too make sure the boy did not remember what had actually happened to him. One night a week Brian would take a cab to Danielĺs apartment, where Daniel would so kindly be awaiting him on the sidewalk. The older man would lead a shaking Brian up the stairs of the complex and into his apartment, the younger man was none the wiser. Brian had yet to give himself to his boyfriend. He had not been feeling well, and though it had been almost three months since the attack he could not bring himself to be that close to Daniel or anyone else. Each one of those frustrating nights Brian would go back to the ABC and make his way to the training rooms to get back in shape. Each night he saw a young blond boy doing the what Brian figured was a nightly regime of an attitude, arabesque, attitude combination in front of the long wall of mirrors in the dark room. The boy seemed so in tune with silent music that Brian was sure played in his head. Brian would watch as the blond moved throughout the room effortlessly and comfortably as though he was the dance. The boy looked young and Brian was sure that once the kid was his age he would have the Academyĺs full support in his dancing career. For an hour or more Brian would watch the young man. Oddly comforted and soothed by the familiar and new movements. Brian never felt as relaxed as he did when he watched the boy dance. And then when the boy would leave for the night he would take over the studio and feel such a sense of freedom as he danced within the same placed the blonde had minutes before. Tonight Brian had left Danielĺs house feeling sick to his stomach. He knew he was depressed and had gained some weight in the time he had been away from dancing but he didnĺt realize how much until he was standing in his navy tights and tank top and could see clearly that his stomach had become mound-like. Before he could think any thing more of it he heard the sound of quick soft footsteps heading towards the back of the studio into the bathroom where he was. He quickly ran to the last stall and found himself sitting on the lid of the tank with his feet on the toilet seat. He didnĺt want anyone to know he was training or the teachers would begin to pester him about everything and he just could not deal with any of that yet. He sat and listened as one of the far stalls was swung open rapidly and then he heard the sound of heaving. Not an unfamiliar sound in the halls of the ABC, but Brian had never imagined the fit and healthy looking blond to be one of the many who were so unhappy with their bodies that they needed to throw up after they had eaten. And come to think about it, it was nearly three in the morning, what would the blond have eaten recently to throw up? But thatĺs what Justin was doing, for the fourth time that day he was puking his guts up in the toilet. This had been the third week he had been labeled by his classmates as a bulimic. It was also the fourth week that Justin was pretty sure he wasnĺt a bulimic. Especially because he ate nearly every sweet and salty thin he could get his swollen hands on. After Justin was finished he decided to get his worn out body into bed and left the studio. Tomorrow morning he would tell his class instructor that his allergies were bothering him and would make a doctorĺs appointment. Seconds after the blond left Brian felt his own stomach churn and spit suddenly claimed his mouth. Within seconds he too was throwing up down the toilet. His whole body ached when he was finished and instead of training Brian went to his room. ĺMaybe something is going around the ABC?ĺ He wondered and decided to make an appointment with his doctor the next day. If he was going to get back to dancing he had to be healthy. Two young men in two separate offices in two different parts of New York received the same tests and then two hours later they were both given the same positive test results. What happened from there for each boy who had suddenly became a man, was two entirely different things. The outcome at the end of the next two weeks so entirely different than either man could ever want or expect. TWO WEEKS LATER ôJustin I really recommend that you take the ABCĺs offer to advance early. They have been watching you closely and they have recognized your talent.ö Justin sat across from Mrs. Montgomery at the cafÚ down the street from the dorms. He did not want to meet with her, but it was necessary. He had to tell her. ôI did not come here to talk about that Mrs. Montgomery. He never called his Ĺcaregiversĺ by their first names. When he did as a child they only corrected him stating the proper etiquette. The wiry looking woman looked at Justin in shock. ôWell, then, why on earth did you demand to my secretary that you needed to meet with me to discuss something very important. I fail to see that there would be anything that is more important than being asked to advance in the ABC.ö Justin knew that this would be hard, he rolled his eyes. ôActually the life of myself and my child is much more important.ö Justin spoke quickly waiting for the woman across from him to start shrieking at him. He had taken her to a public place to assure that nothing physical would happen to him. ôDid you sayůch..child?ö She shrieked and drew attention from the other patrons to her and Justinĺs table. After a few moments of silence they turned back to their caffeine and magazines while Justin leaned in across the table. ôYes, I am pregnant, and I am going to have my baby and I want you to give me my legally gained access to my parents will and P.O.A.ö Justin stared as the woman became white and frazzled but then straightened herself. ôYou listen to me Justin. You will not have this child. You will not throw away everything I have worked for to help you. You will take the position you have been offered and Daniel and I will figure out what to do to get you out of this mess that you are in.ö She squeezed Justinĺs hand perhaps a little too tightly. Justin shook his head. ôNo, I will not!ö He said sternly and dislodged his hand from the womanĺs grasp. ôYou will.ö Mrs. Montgomeryĺs voice was but a cold whisper. ôYou are nothing, you know nothing about raising a child, you are too young and I am sure whoever the father is probably wants nothing to do with you. What are you going to tell your child when they ask about him or you and why you threw away all your dreams so you could raise the little bastard. You will not throw your life away Justin. I will not allow it. When your father left you to us, it was up to us to mold you into a good person who would become a success, not some dropout with a kid.ö Her brown eyes softened for a moment and she took his hand again. ôThis is what your mother would have wanted for you Justin. They never would want you to risk the rest of your life to raise a kid you donĺt want.ö Justin had tears in his eyes. ĹWhat would his mother say? Was Mrs. Montgomery right? Would his parents be disappointed in him if he failed out of the ABC? And what did he know about being a father? Nothing. Because he was nothing, and he couldnĺt have a child be raised with someone like him. Maybe, is Brian even remembered him the slightest he could tell him. He had gone through that scenario too many times and knew he could never do it. That Brian would toss him away the way he had probably intended on doing that night. Mrs. Montgomery was right. He could not have a child. Justin nodded his head in submission. ôI will have to have a late termůö He couldnĺt finish his sentence. It was too hard. He had dreamed of what his life would be like with the small being inside of him, but those were just fantasies. His reality was apparent. Or was it?