AN: Just want to state for the record as I have many other times. I do finish all of my stories and have a time set done on how all the WIP's will be completed. Go to my author page here and get the link for my LJ if you want anymore information. This story is completed. I will post the third part later today. Scrooged Tiny Summary: A Christmas Carol meets the movie scrooged meets QAF meets me! Written for this community challenge and also for a prompt for “redo- fairytale” for my Creative Writing class. Rating: R Warnings: Alleged Death Chapter 2/3 “What’s Done is Done” “Pull the plug?” Michael interrupted bluntly, his voice wobbled on the words. Dr. Rhine nodded his head. “Essentially,” he confirmed, “Though, there is more to it than that. Of course, if Brian is able to breath on his own without the machine, which he does not have the brain function to do right now, he may survive, things do change. But there is no telling the extent of the brain damage until he wakes up. He could forever be in a coma. The next forty-eight hours are critical. The next forty-eight hours will be the worst case scenario taking place for Brian.” “And I’ll have to decide then?” Michael asked. “You are Brian’s P.O.A. correct?” Dr. Rhine asked. “Yes, it’s just… that’ll be the day before Christmas Eve,” Michael said softly. “Yes, I know. I’m sorry. We’ve done all we can tonight. I’ll leave you alone with Mr. Kinney. Just make sure you sign those papers.” “Okay,” Michael watched the doctor leave and then turned to Brian’s body. “Well you’ve really done it now. Haven’t you Brian? I can’t believe this.” “Can’t believe what?” Brian roared out onto deaf ears stalking back and forth in front of his hospital bed. “Justin is what is saving you. Who would have thought?” Michael seemed to be answering Brian’s questions. “Certainly not me.” “Then why don’t you tell him?” Brian asked as he walked through his body on the bed and leered at Michael. “He doesn’t need to know any of this though. It’d probably hurt him even more.” Michael reasoned. “More than you hurt him by telling him it was his fault that I’m in here?” Brian asked. “He wouldn’t be able to take this. Any of this,” Michael spoke, “but you know that don’t you? That’s why it’ll be up to me to tell them to pull the plug. You really are selfish Brian. You don’t have any idea how much you’ve hurt us all.” Brian stepped away and headed towards Vic. “Stop this,” he said, “Stop this now, Vic!” “You want it stopped?” Vic asked incredulously. “You fucking heard me. This is too painful for Michael or for Justin. For any of them!” He yelled. “Brian, the only way to stop this now is…” Brian interrupted him, “Than kill me already. They’ll all be better off with out me anyway. Isn’t that how it’s always been? Huh? Isn’t it?” “Brian…” “No! Just do it! Kill me. Then he doesn’t have to decide.” Brian grabbed onto Vic’s shoulders and started to shake him. “Do it Vic!” Vic pulled Brian close to him and squeezed him tightly to him. “It’s done.” “What?” Brian felt tingles run through his body, his vision faded in and out and when it cleared he and Vic were standing in front of a grave marked with his name. ‘Brian Aiden Kinney 1971-2004 Beloved Partner, Father and Friend.’ He cringed at the sentimentality etched into the snow covered marble. Brian looked around the deserted grave yard. “So where do we go from here?” He asked. Vic looked at the man and shook his head in amazement. “Do you think that just because you died its all over with. Life just goes on? People just stop hurting?” Before Brian could answer he saw a car driving up in the road near the gravesite. At first he didn’t recognize the car but as it got closer and then stopped he knew exactly who was behind the wheel of the car. He couldn’t speak as he watched the driver get out of the vehicle and start to walk towards his grave. “I can do this. I can do this. I can do this,” he heard the blond saying to himself as he carefully trudged through the slippery snow, “I can do this.” When Justin reached Brian’s grave, Brian gasped. “Justin.” The blond fell to his knees in the snow, not caring that it was freezing and messing up his clothing. “This is so hard,” he whispered as he moved his hands from inside his jacket to reveal a bouquet of daisies and a ratty teddy-bear. “Brian,” Justin whimpered. “He looks terrible doesn’t he, Brian? Doesn’t look like he’s moved on at all huh? Looks worse than what he looked like in the hospital waiting to see if you were alright?” Brian crouched down next to Justin who was huffing his breath in and out. “You don’t need to cry for me, Sunshine. I’m not worth it. Don’t you know that?” “Happy New Year, Brian.” Justin placed the daisies on the mound of earth. “I’m trying to be strong here and not cry.” Brian nodded his head. “Your doing good,” he whispered. “But I don’t think I can take it. I know that you’ve been gone for a week but I haven’t got a handle on any of this. It just seems like a big fucking nightmare and I keep thinking you are going to wake up,” Justin laughed pitifully as tears started to fall. “I know you hate roses so I brought you daisies. I remember you said it was the only flower you liked. One of your happy memories from childhood was when you helped Vic plant them in his garden.” Justin leaned down further and placed the ratty teddy bear onto the grave. “This is my teddy bear from when I was a little boy. His name is Gus, that’s why I chose that name the night your son was born. I don’t know if you ever knew that. It wasn’t just because I didn’t like the name Abraham.” Justin placed a kiss on the bear on its dingy black nose and leaned back up, wiping his tears with his hands. “I’m leaving him here with you. This way you always have a piece of your Sonny-boys with you. I…I don’t think I’ll be back Brian. I’m sorry I didn’t go to your funeral but I just couldn’t. I know what happened is my fault. The family is all trying to talk to me, tell me I’ll go on without you. But they don’t know. I can’t go on. Here. Without you. I’m packed up and tonight I’m moving on. Far away from all these memories. I don’t want to be alive in a world you aren’t in. Don’t worry. I’m not going to off myself. But, at least if I get out of the Pitts… Well, I won’t be stuck in this world that constantly reminds me of you.” Justin broke down then and started sobbing hard. His entire body heaved with the emotions and Brian badly wanted to touch and comfort him. “I’m going to be your artist Brian, and you’ll forever be my muse. I won’t forget you, but I just need to move on and start a different life.” Brian had tears in his eyes as he looked up at Vic. “You see, he’s going to finally get out of this town. Be the famous artist he was meant to be!” Vic nodded his head. Brian mistook his gesture as agreement and not as the forced acquiesce that it was. “You’re going to be fine Sunny-boy,” Brian whispered turning his attention back to Justin, “You will be.” Brian’s vision blackened and then faded back. Once again tingles coursed through his body and he was suddenly standing in what appeared to be an art studio. Next to Brian, Vic held his hand. “This is the future that Justin has because you died, Brian.” Brian started to look around the messy large room. Canvases and paintings were strewn everywhere around the room. The tables were littered with sketch books and supplies. Nothing seemed to be organized. But Brian knew that Justin knew where every thing was. He always did. It was controlled chaos. His eyes caught a large painting that was laid out on the biggest table in the room. Fresh paints, brushes and turpentine sat beside it as though the artist had left in the middle of it. It was a dark abstract piece. There was no light or love. Hell, it didn’t really even look like a Justin Taylor piece, but Brian knew that it was. He turned to the sound of the door opening on the other side of the room. At first Brian wasn’t sure if what he was seeing was real. If whom he was looking at was really Justin Taylor. The man was older yes, but that isn’t what startled Brian. It was the unkempt look that plagued the man. Justin had lifeless blue eyes hidden behind a pair of thick rimmed glasses. His hair was no longer blonde but stringy and gray. It was tied up haphazardly into a pony tail at his neck. He wore a brown sweater that was huge on his frail looking frame. Brian couldn’t believe how bad the hollow cheeks on his face looked. The pouty pink lips had turned blotchy, wrinkly, and chapped. Brian always caught Justin chewing on his lips when he was stressed or concentrating on a new painting. He would draw attention to it and then throw a tube of lip balm at the boy. Justin usually smiled at him brightly and would stop whatever he was doing to kiss Brian, transferring the substance to Brian’s lips. Brian looked on as Justin moved stiffly with a limp to the table. He was carrying a glass of water in his left hand. The man’s right arm was curled up awkwardly towards his chest and his hand was squeezed into a tight fist. “Just give me a moment and I’ll finish,” Justin spoke sitting down at the table. Brian looked around the room, wondering if he’d missed seeing anyone else in it. There wasn’t. Justin must have been talking to himself. Vic watched Brian closely for the man’s reaction. He hated that he had to do this, but there was no other way. It wasn’t time for Brian to die. He needed to show the stubborn man this. He needed to throw in his face exactly how lucky he was. Justin took his right hand in his left and pried his fingers apart. “Come on, dammit!” He gritted out through clenched teeth as his fingers finally loosened enough to drop four different pills onto the metal table. He let out a long breath and closed his eyes tightly. Brian saw a tear trace its way down Justin’s pale cheek and felt his heart break. He watched in horror as the artist picked up the pills and placed them on his tongue and then drink a long swallow of his water. This was not at all how Brian had pictured Justin’s life in the future. Not at all. A beeping that sounded like a pager started going off, coming from the high-tech looking computer across the room. “I’m coming. I’m coming,” Justin said as he limped over to the screen. Brian followed him. He held his breath as he heard Justin groan in pain as he sat down in the leather chair. “Hello?” Justin said and the screen came on revealing a site that had Brian falling unsteadily into Vic’s arms. “Hi, Dad,” Gus said. Brian looked around, expecting to see another version of him come from somewhere. “Hi, Gus,” Justin answered Gus, who was a spitting image of Brian in his late twenties. “You don’t look very good, Dad. Are you okay?” Gus asked softly. “Well, never mind answering that question. I know you aren’t all right.” Justin sniffled, “Yeah, well. I’ll be fine, it’s just because it’s…” “Tomorrow. I know. 25 years since Daddy died.” Gus was wiping at his eyes on screen. “But don’t worry. I’ll bring by Jason and the kids in the morning. You know I’d never let you spend Christmas Eve alone.” Justin tried to smile. “You’re a good son.” “And you’re a good Dad. I’m glad I’ve had you my whole life. Even if…” he stopped and took a deep breath. “Dad are you taking care of yourself?” The younger man changed the subject. “As well as I can.” Justin told him. “Did you take your medicine? You know you can’t forget. I really don’t want to come over and find you in the middle of a seizure ever again” Gus admonished. Brian felt himself grow cold. ‘Seizure? Why was Justin having seizures?’ he thought. “What’s going on?” He voiced turning towards Vic. “This isn’t what…” “This isn’t what you imagined would happen to Justin? Or how about to Gus?” Vic asked. “To Gus? He looks happy?” Brian retorted, “But Justin…” “Justin is completely miserable. He’s been having seizures shortly after he moved to New York. He got mugged and took the but of a gun to his skull. Same place the bat hit. His entire body was affected and he’s in constant pain. It was three years before he could hold anything in his left hand. His entire right side of his body is stiff and had been paralyzed almost completely for five years,” Vic paused. “What? No that isn’t possible!” Brian said closing his eyes. “This isn’t possible. Justin is fine and Gus is fine!” Brian sunk down to his knees and put his hands over his eyes. “He isn’t Brian,” Vic stated firmly, “Justin is a mess. He barely eats or sleeps. His art is all dark and full of doom and fear. The only people he visits with is Gus and his family. But they come here because Justin can’t bear to leave the house. He’s scared of every thing Brian. Everything. Worse than before. This studio is part of a big huge house in the countryside of West Virginia. Gates line the property and he even has a guard at the front gate. He can afford it because he’s extremely wealthy from his paintings. You got that part right. He’s a famous artist. But he isn’t better off without you. He blamed himself for what happened to you and he avoided all contact from everyone back in Pittsburgh except Gus and Lindsay. He hates himself and what he’s become. The only reason he goes on living is for Gus and the grandchildren.” “No!” Brian screamed, “No, this isn’t right. This isn’t what happened. This isn’t Justin’s life. It isn’t!” Vic bent down and touched Brian’s shoulder. “Yes it is,” he answered. In that same instant the tingles started and they were brought back into the all white room. Brian felt the change and looked up and around. He was glad that he’d left those visions behind. He couldn’t handle seeing that reality anymore. ‘That wasn’t Justin’ he told himself. Vic sat down on the expanse of white floor. “That was Justin’s life. He never let anyone touch him but you. He barely accepts hugs from Gus or his mother and sister. He mourns for you every single day Brian. Every day. He isn’t even really living without you. He’s just breathing from one day to the next.” Brian stood up abruptly. “You fix this right fucking now. This isn’t what I wanted! Justin doesn’t deserve this, Vic. You know that!” Vic stood up and stopped Brian from pacing. “You just don’t get it do you Brian?” “Get what old man?” Brian said. He was frustrated with these games. “You really think that your untimely death affected no one? You think that what you saw in that studio wasn’t real?” Vic spoke tiredly, “You really do?” Brian raised his hands up in the air and then put them down, thinking about Vic’s words. “Look. No matter what Justin ends up hurting right? No matter if I live or die he ends up hurting. What choice do I have then? I’d rather be dead than see him hurt and let him have to deal with me. I’ll be an invalid Vic. Do you know what that’s…” Brian stopped talking when he saw the hurt look on Vic’s face. “I know exactly what it’s like, Brian,” Vic grinded out through clenched teeth. “I know what it’s like to have my older sister take care of me at forty years old like I was an infant! I know what it’s like to have something boiling inside you, a time clock counting the days until you die. I know what it’s like to not want to meet anyone because you are afraid that when you die you will hurt them more. I know better than anyone. But I also know that I’d go through that all again to know that Debbie and I could laugh one more time together. I’d go back and watch my partner die of Aids rather than me suddenly die of an unexpected heart attack and leave him alone. I would Brian! I would do it because those moments of happiness would have been worth any of the hurt. I showed you what Justin turned out like because he was, by far, affected the worst by your death. But he wasn’t the only one. Your entire family’s lives have changed for the worse Brian. Because you couldn’t allow for Justin to care for you. To love you. I’m not a coward Brian. I’d take that chance on love!” Brian had tears spilling down his face as Vic screamed at him. He didn’t want anyone to hurt because of him. No one. Not Justin. Not Gus. Not Michael. None of his family. Because, that’s all his biological family had ever done to him. Hurt him… always. Physically, mentally, emotionally, he was always in pain. Always, until he built up walls around himself. He didn’t let anyone in, not really. There was always something separating them from him. Until Justin. And the last thing he would ever want is to hurt Justin or his real family. But they’d be hurt whether he lived or died right? And everything had all changed because of Justin Taylor. Meeting Justin Taylor changed his life and everyone else’s. He was close to Michael, Debbie and Vic. But he didn’t have all the other attachments he’d created until Justin had made him become a better man. Justin had made him strive to love and care for his friends and that’s why they were in pain when he’d died. If he’d never met Justin than Justin wouldn’t know what he was missing. Justin would go to Dartmouth like his father wanted. Justin would have gone back home the night on Liberty that they met. He’d told him as much later that night. Had Brian not walked towards him and picked him up, Justin would have gotten into a cab and headed back to his friend’s house for the night. And Brian would still have his walls. “Maybe Justin shouldn’t have ever met me then, Vic?” Brian said allowed. He wiped the tears from his face, feeling his heart break. “Make it so that Justin and I never meet Vic! I want to make so that we never meet. I’d never have the chance to hurt him.” Vic had heard Brian’s inner dialog. He knew this was it. If this didn’t show Brian what it was he needed to do, than nothing would. “You and Justin never met Brian.” As Vic said the words the tingles started to take over and they were taken once again and standing in a familiar plot in the graveyard. Only it wasn’t snowing. It was cold and the ground was wet but there wasn’t snow on the dirt covered mound of earth Brian and Vic stood next to. Though, a bouquet of daisies and the same teddy bear sat on the mound of earth. “I still died?” He asked turning towards Vic. Vic shook his head ‘no’ and pointed at the place marker in the ground. “This is in the past Brian.” Brian read the writing over and over. “Justin,” he whispered. “He never met you. You weren’t there to save him from being bashed at his prom,” Vic told him. Brian turned his glassy green eyes and glared at Vic. “If he didn’t walk me out to the jeep than he wouldn’t have been bashed!” “That’s not true, Brian,” Vic told him, choked with emotion himself. “He went out to the parking garage to have a cigarette. Justin hadn’t come out to his school yet, that’s true. But he was being harassed by Chris Hobbs ever since they experimented together one night at Chris’s house. Justin was uncomfortable with it and Chris wanted more. He told Justin that he’d tell the whole school. He blackmailed him and Justin was afraid so he let Chris use him.” “No! Stop! This isn’t right either Vic. It’s not!” Brian pleaded. “I’m sorry Brian, but it’s true. Chris abused Justin and then one day Chris’s father caught them together. He told Chris he wasn’t going to pay for a fag to go to college. Chris blamed Justin. He thought Justin had lured him into Homosexuality. He hated him and wanted to kill him. So, he followed him out and when...” “No Vic!” Brian cried, “Please! Please I get it. I don’t want to hear anymore.” Brian dropped to the ground and grabbed the old teddy bear and clutched it to his chest. “I don’t want Justin dead.” Vic sat beside him and put his arm around Brian. “Why, Brian? Why do you care? I can send you back. You won’t even know. You won’t even have any idea what it is like to live without Justin Taylor. You wouldn’t have been the one to ever hurt him. And he’d never have to see you and take care of you? Isn’t that what you wanted Brian?” Brian dug his hands into the wet earth and sobbed. “Nooo... that isn’t what I want Vic. Please help him.” Vic pulled Brian up against his chest. “Brian. Brian, come on. He won’t matter to you. I can bring you back and no one will be hurt. You can wake up before Mikey has them pull the plug.” “Noooo… I don’t want to go back like this,” Brian cried, “I don’t want to go back without Justin.” “But you won’t even remember him Brian. Your life together will be wiped from your brain. You’ll be the same person you were before he came along,” Vic told him, trying to get Brian to say what he wanted. ************************************************************************ Justin watched from around the corner. He saw Michael leave Brian’s hospital room and walk down the empty hallway. All of Brian’s extended family was furious to find out that Michael wasn’t allowing Justin to say his goodbyes to Brian. But ultimately it was Michael’s decision. No one wanted to jeopardize their opportunity so they took it in stride. They were overcome with such grief that they figured that Michael would change his mind in due time. None of them however were aware that Michael was going to be giving the orders to take Brian off of life support that afternoon. Justin did know however. He’d been sneaking around the hospital and following Michael around, unknowingly to the other man. He’d heard most of Brian’s condition and Michael’s plans. He always had been good at stalking, especially where Brian was concerned. As soon as Justin saw Michael go through the doors at the end of the hall, he quickly made his way to Brian’s room. He’d slipped in the room unnoticed countless times in the last two days. He hoped he’d have the same luck today. First, he put the bouquet of daisies he’d gotten for Brian and placed them on the table beside the bed. He then took his old teddy bear and placed it under the covers near Brian’s hip. “This way they won’t take it away from you when they come,” Justin explained to Brian needlessly. “Brian,” Justin spoke to the unconscious man as he took his hand in his own, “When they come in here to take you off all of these machines, I need you to stay alive okay? I need you to keep going because I know you want to live. I won’t accept anything less. If you can hear me, just know that I love you. I’ll never stop loving you.” Justin leaned down and he kissed the lips around the plastic tube and then rained kisses all over his lover’s pale face. Justin turned and looked towards the door. He could hear talking and shuffled footsteps coming from outside. He kissed Brian’s hand and released it and moved quickly into the bathroom. He closed the bathroom door until it was open with only a crack, just as Doctor Rhine and two nurses entered the room. He watched through the opening of the door as the people talked and milled around the room. Justin felt tears run down his face as he watched the medical staff turn off the machines, one by one, that were keeping Brian alive. ‘Stay alive, Brian. Stay alive’ he chanted over and over in his head. Justin gripped the door frame as he felt his knees weakened when the Doctor checked for signs of life and found none. He resisted the urge to cry out when the man called the time of death, wrote it down on the chart and left with the other nurses in tow. Turning off the lights in Brian’s room and closing the door on his beloved. The blond waited a few moments, and tried to pull himself together before coming out of the bathroom and walking up beside Brian’s lifeless body. “You aren’t really gone, Brian are you?” He asked. When he heard no response he threw himself down onto the bed and hugged Brian’s still warm body to him. “No Brian. Don’t leave me here,” he pleaded, “Don’t do this. I need you here with me!” The plastic tube had been removed from Brian’s throat so Justin was able to kiss the breathless mouth. He put all of his love and passion into the kiss. TBC