Chapt 2 


Justin was completely silent the entire drive back to the Kinney’s.  He stared out the window at nothing in particular and tapped his fingers on his knees.  A part of him wanted to turn the car around and hold on to Brian for the rest of his life but it was too late.  He wasn’t the sweet innocent little brother anymore.  He knew they would have to speak eventually but it was too much at the cemetery.  Without a word to anyone, Justin headed up into his old room as soon as they arrived at his former home.  Everything was the same as the day he left to live with Emmett.  There were scattered photographs on the wall of him and Mikey at some comic book convention, as well as Novotny holiday celebrations.  Sketchbooks were piled on his bookshelf, each one filled to capacity.  Justin lightly traced the covers, before kneeling down on the floor and dragging out a box from under his bed.  He carefully removed the lid and removed a stack of photographs.  They were mostly shots of him and Brian; some included the rest of their fucked up little family.  Claire was always smiling and Brian had Justin tucked protectively under his arm.
Justin put the photos aside and pulled out an old torn sketchbook.  Flipping through the pages, Brian’s face looked back at him.  They were all casual poses, some done in childish strokes and others from memory.  Without even thinking Justin turned to an empty page, grabbed a pencil, and began to sketch the look on Brian’s face when they saw each other again for the first time.  Nothing else existed at that moment but Justin and his drawing.
Brian hesitated a moment before entering his childhood home.  He wasn’t sure who would be there and planned on staying only long enough to see Justin.  Luck was not on his side when he opened the door and came face to face with Michael.  He was leaning against the counter and talking quietly with the beefy man from the funeral and a rather dull looking man.  

“Hello Mikey, how are you?” Brian asked tentatively.

“Fine.  Why are you here?”

“My father died if you haven’t noticed.  Of course, I’m here” Brian snapped.

“You act like you were just here last week.  It’s been eleven fucking years, if you haven’t noticed.  Where the hell have you been?” Michael yelled.

“It’s none of your fucking business!”

“None of my business?  Are you insane?  We were best friends and then you just took off without a word.  Do you have any idea how that made me feel?  No, you know what, forget how I feel.  What about Justin?  You always said he was the one thing in your fucked up life that actually mattered.  Obviously he mattered so much you had no qualms about leaving him behind to get beat up on a regular basis.  You are such the model big brother.”

“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about” Brian replied.

“You think I don’t?  I’ve cleaned up Justin’s face more times then you could imagine.  I’ve been the big brother you could never be.  I don’t know why you came back but you better stay away from Justin.”

“And if I don’t, what are you going to do about it?”

“He won’t do anything but I will” Ben interrupted.

“And who are you?” Brian asked.  

“I’m Michael’s partner and Justin’s friend.  You see, when you left town Justin was alone but now he has a whole new family.  Michael might be Justin’s best friend but he’s not the only one who loves that kid.  He’s got me, Ted over here, Emmett, the girls.  He doesn’t need you anymore.”

“Maybe not, but I’d still like to talk to him before I go.  So, if you’ll excuse me.” 

Brian pushed his way through the kitchen, shrugging off Michael’s hand.  Michael tried to reach out again but Ben stopped him.

“Let him go” 

“But what if…”

“We’ve said all we can.  Now it’s up to Justin what he wants to do next.  You can’t protect him forever.  It’s better we let them talk now so we’re all nearby if things don’t go well.”

Michael nodded his head in understanding, looking nervously in the direction Brian had disappeared.  Brian avoided eye contact with everyone he passed, practically sprinting up the stairs.  Justin had always considered his room his sanctuary and Brian knew that’s where he would be.  He quietly approached the closed door and gently pushed it open.  Justin was sitting Indian style on the floor furiously sketching in one of his books, when Brian walked in.  He was concentrating so hard he hadn’t even heard the door open.  Carefully Brian shut it behind him, sat directly across from Justin, and waited.  He was amazed to see his own face emerging on the page.  It also gave him a small bit of joy to know Justin was still drawing and creating.  His technique had come along nicely with age.  It wasn’t long before his baby blues looked up and froze on Brian’s face.

“Brian” he whispered.

“Hey Little Sunshine, it’s been a while.”

“Yeah, it has.”

Brian and Justin continued to stare at one another but neither said a word.  Brian’s eyes trailed up and down Justin’s body, memorizing every detail.  This was certainly not the same little boy he left eleven years ago.  He was surprised to find himself actually attracted to the boy he used to watch over.  There was something very alluring about his deep blue eyes and full lips.  Justin, on the other hand, was finding it difficult to articulate his anger and disappointment when faced with Brian’s warm gaze.  He was frozen in place until Brian reached for his hand.  He stood up quickly and backed away from Brian’s touch.

“No” he stated solemnly.

“Come on, Justin.  Please don’t shut me out.  I know I fucked up but I still care about you.  I never stopped.”

“That’s such utter bullshit and you know it.  You promised me you would come back and I believed you.  Even when dear old dad was kicking me in the ribs for the tenth time I still thought you’d save me.  Mikey kept saying you were never coming back but I didn’t believe him, not until my 18th birthday.  That’s when I gave up on you and put everything that reminded me of you in this box.”

Brian reached in and picked up a few of the photos, smiling fondly at a few of them.  In his hands were the only happy moments of his childhood and they only existed because of the amazing man in front of him.

“I can’t take back what I did but I do want you to understand that I never thought he would go after you” Brian tried to explain.

“How naïve can you be?  Of course, he was going to turn his rage on me.  You let him do it.  First you let me believe that you could protect me and then you just left me to the wolves.  I can’t talk to you right now, not today.  Please, can we just do this tomorrow?  Please” Justin begged.

	Without waiting for a response, Justin headed for the door.  Brian intercepted him, holding onto both of his arms.  Their eyes locked on one another.  They could both feel the heat rising between their bodies.  Brian leaned down a little and rested his forehead against Justin’s.

	“OK, I’ll find you tomorrow but I’m not leaving town until we really talk.  You understand?”

	Justin nodded his head slightly, his eyes focusing on the ground.  His heart was beating a mile a minute.  Brian let him go and Justin was out the door in a hurry.  Neither of them could explain what had just happened the moment their bodies connected.

	Justin practically ran right into Michael on his way out of the house.  He was breathing heavily, attempting to calm himself down.

	“Shit Jus, where are you going in such a hurry?” Michael asked, taking in the frazzled state of his best friend.

	“I just gotta get the fuck out of here.  It’s too much with all the damn mourners giving me their condolences when today should really be a celebration.”

	“You sure that’s all that’s bothering you?  Just tell me what it is,” Michael demanded.

	“It’s nothing, really.  I just have a lot of shit to deal with right now.  I promise when I’m ready, we’ll talk.”

	Michael didn’t look convinced but agreed anyway.  Brian and Justin both had the same methods of handling pain management.  He had learned to accept it and wait patiently for Justin to work through whatever was bothering him.

	“OK, I’m guessing I’ll see you at Babylon tonight?” Michael asked.

	“You got it,” Justin answered, lightly patting him on the back before sprinting toward the car that had just pulled up.  Michael was grateful that Daphne had finally arrived.  Even with the closeness Michael and Justin shared, Daphne had always been able to bring out another side to Justin’s persona.  Maybe it was because Daphne and Justin had been friends almost since birth.  Her parents had actually known the Taylor’s before their death, which bonded them in a way he could never understand but always appreciate.  Daphne and Michael exchanged waves, while Justin jumped in the car.  Then they were off.

	“Who was that?” Brian asked from behind Michael, startling him.

	“Daphne.  Why do you care?”

	“God, they’re still close?  It’s nice to know some things don’t change.”

	“Yeah, Justin’s been lucky to have a best friend that went away to school but always came back to visit.  That’s so rare now a days,” Michael stated with a glare in Brian’s direction.

	“Touché.” Brian responded and walked past Michael down the driveway.  He only stopped once he had reached his car and was gripping the handle.

	“I’ll be at Babylon tonight, if you want to meet me there and we can talk,” Brian suggested.  Michael responded without thinking.

	“I’ll already be there with Justin.”

	Brian allowed a smile to grace his lips.

	“Even better,” he stated and drove off.  Michael was left standing on the porch and wondering what the hell just happened.  Obviously there had been some sort of confrontation between Justin and Brian, which had caused Justin’s bad reaction.  He could only hope that Daphne would succeed in getting Justin to open up a little.  This was definitely more her territory than his.