Thanks to Eka for the beautiful banners and thanks to my Beta who's job is incredibly hard as she has dubbed me the queen of the run on sentence. Justin’s POV I hurry into Kinnetik hoping to find Brian here or at least Cynthia, so I can get this to him. I know how sick he is and I know he isn’t doing any work but I am hoping that I can get him to sign these papers or the pitch for Coca-Cola won’t be able to go through. I know he is sick, hell that’s all I can think about sometimes, but Coke doesn’t care about that. They have a date for their pitch and if we can’t make it, they won’t give us another shot. When I see Cynthia isn’t at her desk again, I decide to go knock on Brian’s door to see if he is here. When he doesn’t answer his door I figure the best place to leave the papers is on his desk, so I open up his door and head to his desk. About half way through the room I see something out of the corner of my eye. When I turn to see what it is, I realize that it’s Brian and he is sound asleep on the couch in his office. For a moment I stare at him, not because he is beautiful. Hell I wasn’t saying he’s not, I was just saying that’s not why I’m staring at him, well it’s not the only reason at least. It’s just that he looks so sick and tired. He has big dark circles below his eyes and he looks like he’s lost quite a bit of weight. Without another thought about it, I get onto my knees near his head and start running my fingers through his hair, which normally looks full and soft but right now is matted to his head with sweat. After a few minutes his eyes start to flutter at the feeling of my fingers and I know I should stop before he wakes up, but I want him to get up and go home so he can actually get some rest. Finally his eyes open and I find myself looking into the gorgeous hazel spheres that have been haunting my mind since the first time I saw them. “What?” Brian questions in a tired voice, not even attempting to move. “You’re sleeping in your office.” “Thank you Captain Obvious.” Brian snarks without any venom in his voice. I explain why I’m here and why I woke him up. He demands the papers I need him to sign and I give them to him on the condition that he goes home after he signs them. We argue about it for a minute but he’s obviously too tired to fight because he gives up and signs the papers and then heads home. The Next Day I can’t believe that I am heading to Brian’s loft but here I am anyway. I don’t know how the hell I got talked into this, but the merger is ready to go through and Brian can’t make it into the office today. Cynthia was worried that he would be upset if the merger didn’t go through because he was sick, so here I am heading to the home of the man I can’t get out of my mind. When I arrive at the address I was given, it takes me a few minutes to get out of my car but I summon up the courage and get out and ring the buzzer. After waiting a while and not getting an answer, I’m about to leave when I hear a weak and tired voice come through the intercom. After announcing who I am and explaining why I’m here I hear the buzzer go off, letting me upstairs. I get up to the top floor and see the door open so I head in. At first I don’t see Brian but then I notice his chestnut hair hanging off the edge of the sofa. I go around in front of him and see that, if it’s possible, he looks even worse than he did when I saw him yesterday. “Brian, are you okay?” I ask and I know that I haven’t been able to keep the worry I feel for him out of my voice. “Just give me the papers and a pen so I can sign them and you can leave me alone.” He demands. I do as he asks and give him the papers and a pen and when he struggles to sit up I reach over to help him, ignoring his glare and his bark to leave him the fuck alone. As soon as he is upright I leave him to the papers and head to his kitchen to find him something to eat. I look in his fridge and I find nothing adult friendly so I go over to the cabinets and again, I have the same results. “What the fuck are you doing?” I hear Brian bark. “I’m looking for something to feed you.” I answer back as if this is nothing new. “What the fuck! I didn’t say I was hungry, cause I’m not and even if I was, it’s not your responsibility to fucking feed me.” He hisses at me. I ignore him and try to figure what I can feed him, cause mac and cheese is not going to cut it. Finally I decide and a grab my cell phone and call the place I use to deliver my groceries. I order Brian a bunch of foods that are good for when you’re sick and need lots of vitamins. I make the call and then wait for the food to arrive, even though Brian is bitching at me the whole time but I won’t let him deter me. So after listening to him bitch for a few minutes, I go over to him, ready to tell him to shove it. “Listen you, why don’t you just shut up. I am getting food into you so I have to wait for it to arrive, so why don’t you sleep until your food is ready. I’ll wake you up when it’s time to eat.” “Who the fuck do you think you are? My mother? Get the fuck out and leave me the fuck alone.” “No, I think I’m your partner, your business partner. And I also happen to be a father just like you and what the fuck good are you going to be to your son if you don’t live through this, huh? Don’t you think he has lost enough already?” I shout at him, knowing that this would be the thing that will get through to him, if anything did. I watch as Brian pauses after hearing what I said and then all the anger and the protest dies from his face as he faces the reality that he needs help if he’s going to be there for his son. I know then, that like me, Brian lives for his child and would do anything for him. “I’m a good father.” Brian says in a voice that, all at once, sounds determined and a little frightened, like he tries his hardest to be but is still not quite sure that he’s pulling it off. I want to reassure him about that and I remember what Daphne told me when I was worried about how I would be as a father. And I sit beside Brian and tell him the same thing she said to me. “Brian, if you don’t worry about your child and whether or not you’re going to fuck up this parenting thing, then you’re not going to be a good parent. All parents worry that they will mess up. Every parent at one time or another will fuck up; the trick is making only little fuck ups and being honest enough to admit you did and loving your child enough to encourage them, even when you don’t like what they are doing. So worry Brian, and fuck up, but love your son for who he is, no matter what.” Brian looks at me for a long time, seeming to take in everything I say carefully, before he says anything. “Do you feel that way?” Brian asks sort of shyly, which I find completely endearing. “How do you think I got that advice? When Kyla was young, I was so scared that I was going to do something wrong and mess her up for life. Finally her mother sat me down and told me she was afraid too, and then she told me basically what I just told you.” “Where is her mother…if you don’t mind me asking?” “She died.” I say in a voice that I know is strained but I miss Daphne so much it’s hard to talk about her. “Gus’ mother’s died too.” Brian shares after realizing that I was shutting down after talking about Daphne being dead. “Mothers?” “Yeah my friend Lindsay and her husband Melanie.” Brian says with a cross between sadness and remembrance in his eyes. We sit talking about everything that comes to mind until the doorbell rings. I get up and go to the door, and when I find out it’s the groceries, I buzz the delivery guy in, When he gets up here, I have him set everything in the kitchen. After I pay him and he leaves, leave I go over to Brian to tell him that I’m going to go cook. I see that he’s asleep so I quietly go out to the kitchen and put everything away except what I need to make him dinner. When the food is done I dish it up and bring it into the living room and wake Brian. We eat while talking some more and although Brian doesn’t get much down, for some reason I know that it’s the most he’s eaten in a while. After we finish, I clean up and do the dishes and get ready to leave. Brian slowly follows me to the door to lock it after I leave and before I walk out the door, I go with my instincts and lean forward to kiss him but he quickly pulls out of my reach. Obviously he can tell that I’m hurt by his dismissal because when I turn to leave, without another word, he puts his hand on my arm. “I can’t kiss you.” “Why, cause we work together?” “Well, yeah it’s not a…oh fuck it” He says as he slowly lowers his mouth to mine. A gentle kiss and then his mouth is gone but he arches his eyebrow in a promise. I laugh a little at that, even though I want to moan at the thought of his mouth on mine and I leave with only one word, which he echoes. “Later.” “Later.” The Next Day I do my day as I have been for the last three weeks but today I work even harder to get done faster so I can get to Brian and get him something to eat, and spend sometime with him. But also so I can try to get in some more time with my daughter before she has to go to bed because I got home last night and all I had time to do was give her a bath and put her to bed. And although I’m glad I didn’t miss that time with her, I wish I had more but I find I always wish that. I get through my day and I’m heading to Brian’s with his meal already planned in my head. When I get there I buzz and prepare to have to wait a while for him to answer. After about twenty minutes I’m starting to get worried though, but then I see a very welcome sight. Michael is heading towards me with a casserole dish in his hand. “What’s going on Justin?” Michael asks as he reaches me. “I can’t get Brian to open the door.” I answer, hoping he has a way around this. “Well why are you here? Cause if it’s for some work thing, Brian isn’t feeling up to it.” “No, I was just coming to see how he’s doing.” I explain and Michael seems to accept this answer. “Ok, let’s go up and see.” He says while taking a key out of his pocket.