Chapter 9: Final Chapter
“Brian ...”
“Justin ...”
“BRIAN ...”
“IS ANYONE THERE?”
Brian groaned and slowly, he opened his eyes and blinked. Carefully, he pushed himself up on his elbows and looked around. The loft was in semi-darkness in the early evening light and from the lamp left on in the living room, and he sighed and then collapsed back on the bed again. Thankfully, the yelling and banging on the door had stopped; hopefully, whoever it was had gone away. But it was only a brief respite and then the knocking and shouting started again.
“BRIAN ...” came the anxious call and Brian groaned again.
“I'm coming ... for fucks sake ...” and with his head pounding, Brian forced himself up off the bed and onto his feet and made his way, if a little unsteadily, down to the door and opened it. Jennifer took one look at him and it didn't take a genius to work out that something was very wrong.
“My god ... what's happened?”
Brian's disheveled appearance, after falling asleep in his clothes again, immediately set off the warning bells. In all the times Jennifer had met Brian, from when he was purchasing the loft up to a few days ago, he'd always been dressed immaculately, even when casual. But now he'd obviously just crawled out of bed, wearing days old clothes and several days worth of stubble and neither he nor Justin had been answering the phone when she called. She drove by on the off-chance, but as Brian's jeep was parked outside, Jennifer decided to see if there was anyone at home.
It was the Sunday evening after Justin had; had what? Left? Disappeared? Died? Brian didn't know for sure. But what he did know was the second that bottle hit the floor, his world, as well as Justin's, had been destroyed.
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After the bottle was smashed and the storm had claimed Justin, the wind had died down as quickly as it had sprung up and the loft had been left in an unnatural silence. None of the devastation Brian had imagined had occurred, and his home was totally intact. He still found it hard to believe that things could have changed so quickly and that Justin was really gone. But all that was tangibly left of the younger man was the sketchbook and pencils laying on the table and the clothes in the closet, although his presence seemed to remain.
Brian couldn't cry at Justin's physical passing, at least not yet: the shock and Brian's initial reluctance to acknowledge his loss wouldn't allow it. The tears would come a little later. And with his back to the pillar that protected him through the storm-like conditions, he slid down onto the floor; his legs no longer having the strength to keep him upright.
That sickness crept into his stomach again, the same feeling he had when waking from his dream where the bottle had been accidentally smashed. But this was no dream. This time, it was for real. He had to try and accept it, but would he understand it?
In an effort to comprehend what had been going through Justin's mind, Brian went over the days leading up to this. Why hadn't Justin talked to him about how he was feeling instead of doing this? Had he really felt so desperate and hopeless, despite how much they'd professed their love for one another? Justin's continued imprisonment certainly took its toll on both of them, the randomness and unpredictability of it all. But was the alternative really preferable? Obviously Justin thought it was and the episode with Gus had been the final straw.
Reluctantly, Brian admitted he understood why Justin thought the way they existed was untenable. Forcibly parted and never knowing when they'd be reunited: close and yet so far apart when they longed so much to be together. Brian had found it almost unbearable, but at least he had work and Gus in his life, whereas even out of the bottle, Justin was still a prisoner. Even contact with Jennifer was sparse, leaving Justin devoid of human companionship most of the time, spending his days in his studio with only the cats for company. Brian was busy, Justin accepted that and in fact was glad of it on the days his art just seemed to take him over and consume him. But he envied Brian and Jennifer their freedom and often watched the people bustling by about their business in the streets below; alone up in his ivory tower.
And then the incident with Gus happened and with it, the realization that people might actually be at risk from him: maybe even Brian. And in Justin's mind, the younger man had been willing to destroy himself to prevent that, release himself from the pain of being parted from the man he loved and, hopefully, in the process, set Brian free. And he was right, Brian had learned to love and Justin had taught him. But to love someone else? Justin might want him to and think him capable, but for Brian, right now at least, he didn't think he could ever allow anyone to get as close as he'd let Justin. Opening up and giving his heart this one time had meant Brian trusting Justin with something so very precious, but to do it again and with someone new, was, for now and probably a very long time, just so unthinkable.
Brian couldn't tell how long he'd been sitting there going over everything, only that the light had gone altogether by the time the bile had settled in his stomach and he'd finally been able to pull himself together in order to even get up off the floor and he'd switched on the lamp and gone to pour himself a drink.
Should he have tackled Justin about his feelings when he'd seen how upset he was or maybe even stayed at home to keep an eye on him? Justin had seemed a little distant even while they made love and that should in itself, have sent out enough warning signals. But it was no use going over what might have been. What was done was done.
Several Beams later, Brian collapsed onto the bed. Not only had a young life been cruelly cut short, the realization that he was now on his own and probably for good, having lost the only love he would ever know, overtook Brian in waves of grief he'd never experienced before. Finally he lost control and gut-wrenching sobs wracked his body and tears no longer held back, soaked the pillow where only the night before, Justin's head had lain.
But even sleep and booze couldn't suppress the recurring visions of Justin that haunted his dreams, touching him; smiling at him. Skin like alabaster and hair the color of spun gold and silky to the touch. Eyes of startling blue that would hold his own in their gaze and which possessed so much love and gave him so much. Teaching Brian to trust his feelings and take a chance on love. Justin's love. A pure love, untainted by cynicism or self-need.
That was two evenings ago; two days lost in hallucinations and an alcoholic haze and now Jennifer was standing at the door and staring at him; horrified by what she saw.
“Are you alright ... what's happened?” she asked him again, but Brian just vacantly turned away and retreated back into the loft and Jennifer followed him inside, closing the door behind her. She looked around her; it was obvious who she was searching for.
“Brian ... where's Justin? I went to the studio on my way up in case he was there ... I've been calling you ... you didn't answer ...”
“He's ... he's gone,” stated Brian flatly and he padded in bare feet to the sofa, his head had pounded with every step he'd taken and he needed to sit down before he fell down.
“What do you mean, he's gone? Gone where?” and Jennifer walked around the sofa to the windows and she pulled back the drapes, allowing the last of the late summer sunlight to enter the room for greater illumination. She turned back to look at him. Even this light hurt, and Brian put his hand up to shield his eyes, and then he closed them and leaned his head back.
“He's just ... just gone ...”
“But that doesn't make sense ... because of his situation, he didn't go anywhere ...”
“What aren't you telling me? Did you have a fight?” she asked him and Brian took a deep breath and then shrugged. “I'm not sure ... I hope not ...” and he sighed. Brian now opened his eyes and blinked, and Jennifer saw they were glistening.
Something was terribly wrong, Jennifer had that feeling in the pit of her stomach and obviously Brian was pretty upset about whatever it was and she sat down on the sofa beside him.
“Tell me what happened,” Jennifer urged him gently and she saw Brian swallow as he recalled the events of two evenings ago.
“I ... I came home and he was upset ... I guess I should have seen it coming ... he'd been quiet ... withdrawn ... even his artwork became darker ...”
Jennifer nodded. “I called a couple of times ... you said he couldn't come to the phone ... I thought you meant he was in the bottle ...” Brian shook his head. “He ... he wouldn't talk to you ... I could hardly get him to talk to me ...”
“Why? What was wrong?” Jennifer asked him, desperate to know what had upset the younger man so much and then she heard Brian sniff. “He was holding Gus ... my son,” stated Brian, and Jennifer raised an eyebrow. She didn't even know Brian had a son; it had never come up in conversation and then she saw him swallow again.
“The bottle started to take Justin back ... and he almost dropped Gus ... it scared him to death ...”
“He felt guilty that Gus might have gotten hurt and it would have been his fault ...”
“He started to feel pretty hopeless ... about how we were living ... forced to be apart and never knowing when we'd be together ... and he knew it was getting to me as much as it was to him ...”
“So he left?” asked Jennifer. “But how ... where would he go?”
She saw Brian hesitate and then she heard the quiver in the man's voice when he answered.
“He ... he smashed the bottle ...”
Brian heard Jennifer gasp and her hands flew up to her face in horror, tears filled her eyes and the sob caught in the back of her throat at the realization of the enormity of what Brian was telling her.
“He destroyed himself ... saying he was setting me free ...” Brian continued at last.
Jennifer could hear the anguish in Brian's voice and reaching out, she took his hand and squeezed it; her pain at knowing that Justin was surely dead, echoing that of her distress at losing her own son. Jennifer tried to stay strong, like she always had to. Her ex-husband had deserted her with two children because he couldn't handle his teenage son's sexuality; something Jennifer had always despised Craig Taylor for. Leaving her to try and reassure their son that he had one parent at least who would love him whatever and who tried to be both Mother and Father for her two children.
But now she saw Brian's shoulders start to shake increasingly violently as he couldn't hold in his pain any longer and not finding any resistance, she pulled him into her; Brian's head on her shoulder as they grieved together.
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As Jennifer was leaving, after they'd both recovered and Brian had gotten over his badly disguised embarrassment at falling apart, she remembered about the cats. Brian groaned, realizing he hadn't been down to feed the poor things since the night of Justin's departure. Jennifer offered but Brian refused, knowing one of the reasons why he'd probably put the cats out of his mind being the fact that it meant going into Justin's studio. But he knew he couldn't delay, he felt guilty that the cats would be starving and possibly becoming dehydrated too.
“Are you sure you don't want me to come in with you?” asked Jennifer, having walked down the stairs with Brian to the studio, but Brian shook his head. “Thanks ... but no ... I'd rather do it on my own ...”
“What are you going to do with the studio?” Jennifer asked him and Brian shrugged. “I have absolutely no idea,” he answered her and Brian took hold of the door handle but hesitated; almost losing his nerve to go in.
“I'll ... I'll keep in touch ... if that's okay?” asked Jennifer, unable to believe she would no longer have any contact with Justin, a young man she'd grown so fond of and Brian managed a smile.
“I'd like that ...”
Now Jennifer hesitated for just a moment, but then reaching up, she embraced him and Brian found Jennifer's concern almost overwhelming. With neither of them able to speak, Jennifer broke away and quickly hurried down the stairs, only to fall apart and sob uncontrollably, once in the safety of her car.
Back at the door of Justin's studio, Brian sighed, rolled his lips into his mouth and then took a deep breath.
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Brian turned the key in the lock, opening the door onto a darkened apartment. He switched on the light and waited, almost expecting Justin to emerge from the bathroom and deliver one of those wonderful smiles to greet him, but of course, he wasn't there. Walking in and closing the door behind him, the cats came charging over to Brian and made their presence felt around his ankles, but that didn't stop the studio feeling more than just a little empty. And not just missing the person who'd taken it over and made it their own space, the place felt devoid of a spirit too. The spirit that Justin had initially possessed which had kept him sane all the time he'd been imprisoned; the spirit he'd discovered when his passion for his art had taken hold. But that same spirit had deserted him when his situation became too much to bear.
The cats continued to be noisy; as if they were scolding Brian for their neglect. They were hungry of course and had eaten all the treats that had been left out for them before and their water dish was empty. Brian cleaned out the dishes and poured them out some milk, which luckily was still fresh in the fridge, and then he prepared their meal and took care of the litter tray.
The cats devoured their food eagerly and now with full tummies again, they continued to meow. They'd obviously missed the company without Justin being there the last couple of days and Brian crouched down to make a fuss of them.
After holding his attention for a few minutes, Cyrus and Satarah wandered across the room and made themselves comfortable on the beanbags. Brian sighed, and taking a deep breath steeled himself to take a look at Justin's work, unable to ignore it any longer.
The difference in Justin's art over the time he'd been involved in it was remarkable. His earlier efforts, though still good, almost looking simple and childlike in comparison. With the variation of materials and increasing enthusiasm, he'd learned well and wasn't afraid to experiment with color or shape. But then there was the darker work that he'd produced during his last days and Brian could feel the younger man's confusion and anguish through them. But whether it was his earlier work or this most recent, the quality took Brian's breath away and he rubbed the bridge of his nose. Several pieces of Justin's art looked to be finished, at least to Brian and he sighed as he replaced them back on the work surface.
What the hell was he going to do with the studio, Justin's artwork and materials and, of course, the cats or even his clothes, wondered Brian. Justin adored the cats, but he would have to make some sort of arrangements for them and maybe hurry up the Neilson's to get them shipped over to them. It seemed cruel to leave the animals now they had no-one with them all day and with Brian's work schedule, he couldn't guarantee when he'd get around to even feed them. But a tiny part of Brian still almost refused to accept that Justin was gone forever and he couldn't bear to give up the lease and clear everything out of the apartment. For now, at least, it would stay as it was.
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True to her word, Jennifer kept in touch and even telephoned Brian the very next day, being genuinely concerned for him. From Justin, she'd learned just how much Brian had done for him, and had grown to like Brian, once she'd become relieved about his motives and Justin had allayed any fears she had about their relationship.
But her pain at losing Justin; another Justin and a young man Jennifer had started to think of as one of her own, was heartbreaking. She could only imagine how Brian must be feeling, having witnessed his and Justin's connection for herself. The man had loved him deeply, that had been apparent in the way he'd spoken of him and he must be going through hell. Especially as they had no real idea what had happened to Justin and there wasn't even a grave to be mourned over. There was no real closure for him.
Jennifer offered to come over every day to feed the cats. She was always about the city with her job and was determined to organize her day to fit it in. It was also her way of continuing some sort of contact with Justin, at least while Brian kept on the apartment and he readily accepted Jennifer's offer and left his key at reception for her to collect; he'd use a spare he kept at home.
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Brian tried his best to switch off his feelings and concentrate now on his work. He carried out the tasks he had to do, going into infinite detail as if doing them for the first time instead of being things he'd been doing repeatedly for several years. He checked and double checked, even tasks for which he had no direct responsibility. Anything to keep himself occupied and not having to think.
But not trying to think was the easy bit. The difficulty was in keeping out the dreams that now seemed to be happening every night. Seeing Justin's face in front of him, but then waking and finding himself alone in an empty bed and having to face each day on his own. Never would Brian have thought he'd ever want to share his life 24/7 with another man until Justin came along. But it was over all too briefly.
Cynthia noticed something was different right away. Brian's latest presentation was thorough, if almost perfunctory with Brian seemingly disinterested and lacking the normal pizazz the man possessed, even before Justin came along. But it was as if a light had gone out and people began to speculate that Brian's relationship had gone down the tubes. Most people shrugged and stated they were hardly surprised, given his track record. But Cyn had worked with Brian for several years now and she liked the man and she could see the sparkle had gone from his eyes. Whoever this Justin was, Brian had obviously loved him and she knew that a man like Brian didn't love easily. When he did eventually fall, he'd fallen hard and picking himself up again was going to take a long time.
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Over the next few days, Brian's mood deteriorated back to how he'd been before, if not worse. He barked and snarled at everyone, literally throwing the notes made by one of the junior copywriters for one of the new campaigns out into the corridor and the poor wretch after them; declaring them for shit and ordering that he go and do them again.
And then leaving the office late, Brian found himself taking a different route home and he pulled over and looked across the street to the beckoning lights and music. There it was; Babylon. Where, following a couple of shots of something strong, he ventured into the back room looking for a willing trick. The place he knew where he could always lose himself and his feelings in anonymous sex. Tried and trusted and meaningless. Just how he needed it right now, or so Brian thought.
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The lure of Brian's old pain management methods was too strong and it was only a matter of days before he was back hitting the clubs again, though only once work was out of the way; his humble beginnings had taught him that. During his childhood, there had never been much money around and what there was often found its way into the collection plate or was consumed down at the social. Brian had known there was only one way out and up and that was with his soccer scholarship backed up with good grades and hard work and work always came first. But after working hard, he'd party hard and now even harder than ever as he tried to block out the pain of losing Justin.
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Tonight was one of the nights when Brian had worked on after his usual business hours, but had every intention of going home and changing and heading for Woody's and then on to Babylon. But before he went up to the loft, he decided to check on the cats first; Jennifer wasn't the only one who felt an attachment to Justin through them.
As soon as he entered the studio, Brian could see that Jennifer had obviously carried out her promise of feeding the cats daily and they had fresh milk and a clean litter tray, but he couldn't help feeling sorry for them. Brian made up his mind that tomorrow, he would try and reach the Neilson's to see if they could take them. He'd miss them and so would Jennifer, but he knew they couldn't go on like this.
Then, eventually going up to the loft, Brian wasn't surprised to find his answer phone message light flashing. Stripping off, he headed for the shower, but coming out of the bathroom 15 minutes later, that damn light was still flashing and now unable to ignore it any longer, Brian hit the PLAY button. But he already had an idea of what it would be about.
“Brian ... it's Lindsay ... I was wondering if Justin had thought any more about putting his work into our emerging artists show ...”
“It's on in a few weeks and we need to discuss it if he plans on showing anything ...”
“I'll be home after 6:00 and back at the gallery in the morning ... maybe he could call me?”
Brian closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose. This same message had been left on his cellphone too and he could just imagine Lindsay's reaction when she learned Justin wasn't around any more. The “I told you so,” was already ringing in his ears.
As it was, it seemed people were beginning to realize that Justin no longer figured in his life and Brian was glad if they did; it saved him having to answer anyone's questions if they asked about the boyfriend he was supposed to have had, not that many people had actually met him. But Brian had noticed the sympathetic looks people had been giving him at work and at Woody's; obviously word had gone around. He wasn't as nice any more.
But the gang probably wouldn't be surprised. In fact, Brian even wondered if they'd actually started a book on how long it would last. Who would clean up, he wondered.
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Brian let the trick out of the door and having closed it, leaned his head against the cool metal. The guy had been an okay fuck; he'd met the required minimum standards, but there was something missing. Brian sighed and turned back to head up to the bedroom, that familiar empty feeling gnawing at his gut. Then he noticed the mist swirling around him.
Half way across the floor, Brian had stopped abruptly and looked around the loft. The mist was moving up from the floor and was beginning to appear more dense now and Brian's heart skipped a beat as he watched the gray haze begin to take shape.
“Justin,” grinned Brian and the young man, barely 10 feet away, smiled broadly at him; lighting up the room. Brian stepped, no ran forward to take him in his arms and as he did so, the figure disappeared and Brian was left holding nothing.
“Ugh” Brian sat bolt upright in bed, his heart was pounding and his breathing difficult. He looked around him and noticed the clock. It was 2:30am., the loft was quiet and he was alone.
It was a dream.
With a sinking heart, Brian lay back down on the pillows. This was how it had all started, of course, the young man coming to him while he slept; in his dreams and now they continued. Would it always be like this, Brian wondered. Would he ever be free of his feelings for the blond who came into his life and into his bed? And then into his heart?
In a way, Brian didn't ever want to be. At least with Justin in his dreams, he had never really gone away.
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Jennifer was running late and hadn't gotten around to the cats until early evening, but when she arrived, she found Brian already feeding them.
“I'm sorry Brian ... I got held up ...”
“That's okay,” stated Brian and he stroked Cyrus, who was feeding from his bowl up on the counter top.
“How are you?” Jennifer asked him, but Brian just shrugged. “You?”
Jennifer tried to smile, but her inability to answer him spoke volumes. She was having trouble adjusting as much as he was.
Always drawn by Justin's work, it didn't matter how many times she looked at it; she made her way across to the work surface and picked up one of Justin's finished pieces. “This is so good,” and the catch in her voice was unmistakable and she put the piece back down. Brian nodded and leaving the cats, joined her and he too picked up one of Justin's paintings.
“I dreamed about him last night,” stated Brian quietly and he sighed. “I dream about him every night ... it's like he never really left ...” and he dropped the picture back down.
Jennifer smiled up at him and the warmth of her expression made Brian think that here was a woman who would love her kids no matter what and he could see why Justin was drawn to her. It wasn't just their strikingly similar appearance, but they seemed to have a connection that even Brian didn't share.
“It will get easier,” stated Jennifer, seeking to reassure him. “He was very special ...”
Brian nodded, thinking to himself that Jennifer would never know how much; then he cleared his throat and tried to concentrate on the matter in hand. Justin's art.
“Lindsay ... Gus' Mom ... she works at the Sidney Bloom Gallery ... she'd talked to Justin about putting some of his work into their emerging artists show ...”
“Had she?” asked Jennifer. Though taken back a little that Justin had met the Mother of Brian's child, the fact that she'd encouraged him to show his work at the gallery didn't surprise her one bit.
“What did Justin say?”
Brian smiled, remembering the conversation and how Justin had asserted himself. “He said he'd give her a decision later ...”
“But secretly ... I think he was pleased his work was considered good enough ...”
“Well ... it does seem a shame that no one will see it ...” sighed Jennifer and Brian nodded.
“You know ... you're right ... I'm sure he would have loved the idea ...” but then Brian sighed, closed his eyes and shook his head.
“What is it?” asked Jennifer, placing her hand on his arm.
“Well ... to be honest ... I don't really wanna talk about him right now ... and ...” and Brian's voice trailed off. Jennifer understood what he was saying; that he didn't really want contact with anyone who would question him about Justin or his whereabouts and she smiled at him. “I could take the pieces down for you ... if you'd like ...”
“Would you? I'd appreciate that ... thanks ...”
Between them, over the next hour, they looked through all of Justin's work and decided those they liked the best. They may not have been the exact ones that Justin might have chosen himself, but both Jennifer and Brian loved them, even a couple that were darker than those he'd first created.
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“These are very interesting ... and extremely good,” stated Lindsay as she looked over the pieces that Jennifer had taken in to the gallery the following morning, but she couldn't help wondering what this woman's connection was to Justin. Though looking at her, she did bear a strong physical resemblance to the young man.
“Why didn't he bring them down himself ... or Brian?” asked Lindsay and she waited for the answer. She'd heard rumors that Justin was no longer around and had hoped to find out from Brian himself, and had been taken aback by the arrival of Mrs. Taylor.
“Well ... you know how busy people are these days,” answered Jennifer, smiling sweetly. “Hmm ...” answered Lindsay politely and returning the smile, but she wasn't terribly convinced. But the pieces were wonderful and they would make an enormous contribution to the show.
“Okay ... I'll make sure these are included ... now let me take some details ...” and she picked up her pen.
“Now, let me see ...”
It's Justin, isn't it ... Justin what?” asked Lindsay and she saw Jennifer hesitate before she answered.
“Justin Taylor,” came the reply.
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In the end, Brian didn't have to call the Neilson's, as a few days later, they called him. Everything was arranged and the cats would be shipped over to them before the end of the week. Brian took down the details, but it was with a heavy heart that he conveyed the news to Jennifer. Both would lose another contact with Justin, but at least Brian now wouldn't have to go down to the studio if he didn't want to; neither of them would.
Jennifer came over to say a final goodbye to the cats and found it hard to keep things together. She could see how Brian was struggling too, though of course he would never admit it.
This probably wasn't the time to tell him either, but would there ever be, Jennifer asked herself.
“I heard from Mr. Buchanan ...” stated Jennifer quietly and she saw the far off look in Brian's eyes as he walked back into the loft after seeing out the shipping agent with the cats. “Hmm ... sorry ... what?”
“I said ... I heard from Mr. Buchanan ... the loft's previous owner ...”
“Oh ...”
“He's not really interested in the trunk ... he hasn't got any family and apparently doesn't get attached to anything like that ...”
“He said you could keep it ... or dispose of it as you thought fit ...”
Brian nodded, but didn't say anything; unsure if he even wanted to keep it.
Jennifer sighed and climbed down off the stool she'd been sitting on. “I guess I better go ...”
“I'll call you ... and don't forget ... we have an art show to go to ...”
Jennifer saw Brian blink and look away; it was obvious he wasn't sure if he wanted to attend the show. “I think we should ... for Justin,” observed Jennifer and Brian nodded. She was right, they should go and show their support even though he would never know, and he frowned.
“The paintings are normally for sale, aren't they?” he asked her and Jennifer nodded. “Usually ... why?”
Brian shrugged. “I don't want the money ... but ... but I guess any proceeds could go to the gay teen shelter ...” Jennifer smiled and reaching out, squeezed his arm. “That would be a wonderful idea,” and with a last smile, she turned and let herself out, determined to keep in touch and Brian would always appreciate it.
But now without the cats, the studio seemed even quieter as Brian listened to the silence for a moment before leaving himself and locking the door behind him and he sighed.
The lease wasn't yet up for renewal, but he wasn't sure how many more times he could face going back in there.
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“Liberty Diner ...”
“Hi ... is this Debbie ... Michael Novotny's Mother?” asked the man on the other end of the line, though Debbie could hardly hear him for the music and talking in the background.
“Yeah ... why ... something happened to Michael?” asked Debbie, suddenly panicked by the phone call out of the blue and her hand few up to her heart.
“No ... no ... I was actually trying to track him down ... I knew you worked at the Diner ... just taking a chance I'd catch you ...”
“Well ... he's at home ... who is this ... why are you trying to get hold of him?”
“This is Danny ... I'm a barman at Woody's ... and Michael's a friend of Brian Kinney's ... right?”
“Sure ... he's a friend of Brian's ... why?” asked Debbie, curiously.
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Danny saw Michael enter the room and caught his eye; the man indicated the cause of his concern and having located him, Michael nodded in acknowledgment. For anyone other than the tall, slim man with hazel eyes, Danny probably wouldn't have bothered, but he'd always been sweet on him and hated seeing him like this.
“Christ ... look at him ... I've never seen Brian like this before ...” stated Michael and he shook his head. Ben placed a hand on his partner's shoulder.
For a man who usually craved attention, Brian looked strangely alone and isolated, sitting and drinking at the end of the bar, a row of discarded shot glasses in front of him; seemingly ignoring the rest of the world and totally unaware of what was going on around him.
“Maybe the stories are true ... about Brian and this Justin guy ... looks like he's hurting about something,” observed Ben and he shrugged.
“What? ... Mr. I-don't-believe-in-love Kinney?” snorted Michael and Ben frowned at him. “Maybe Brian wasn't as immune as he thought,” offered his partner and Michael shrugged. “Then if ... if this guy had meant something ... why didn't he hang around?” and he sighed. “Brian probably just kept on being Brian ...”
“Maybe we should have taken more of an interest,” stated Ben. “It's been a while since we've seen him ...”
“Doesn't look like he's got a friend in the world, does it?” came the observation and Michael shot Ben a glare.
“Whose fault is that?”
“He cut himself off from us ... not the other way round ...”
“I suppose,” answered Ben. “But it looks like Brian needs a friend right now,” and he inclined his head towards the man at the end of the bar who slowly and unsteadily took another swallow from his glass and looked incapable of standing.
Ben had no illusions about the depth of Michael's attachment to Brian, despite the man's apparent disparaging tone towards his friend. But Ben was secure enough in their relationship not to doubt him and if Brian needed a friend, then he was reasonably happy for Michael to carry out any necessary tasks.
Michael sighed. It wouldn't be the first time he'd taken Brian home and poured him into bed and he wouldn't be surprised if it wasn't the last.
Ben and Michael made their way across the floor, but even when Michael placed his hand on Brian's arm and said his name, it took a few moments before there was a response.
Brian blinked, and tried to bring the room back into focus. He'd come straight from work and had slowly and steadily attempted to drink himself into oblivion. And finally, he realized someone had spoken his name and he turned his head to look in the direction of the voice.
“Mikey ... Ben ... I don't remember inviting you to my party,” slurred Brian and Ben and Michael exchanged glances. Brian had been known to throw the odd bash in the past; usually with plenty of alcohol, party favors and guys. But if anyone looked less like they were enjoying themselves at a party, they'd be hard pushed to find him. Brian threw down the last of his drink and then leaned forward to try and attract the attention of one of the barmen and practically fell off his barstool, but Ben shot out a supporting hand.
“I don't need your fucking help,” snapped Brian as Ben caught him by the elbow and he pulled away, but almost fell off the stool backwards in doing so, but this time it was Michael who caught him.
“Come on, Brian ...”
“I don't wanna come on,” and he looked around for the barman. “I wannanother drink ... Danny ...”
“I think you've had more than enough,” stated Ben, but Brian shook his head. “There's no ... there's no such thing as enough,” Brian informed him, leaning towards him and Ben was almost overcome by the fumes on Brian's breath.
“Come on, Brian ... let's get you home ... it's a work night ...”
“Who the hell d'you think y'are Mikey ... my fucking Mother?” came back Brian and he attempted to stand up and assert himself, but his knees buckled.
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“I don't see his car,” moaned Michael as the three men exited the bar, with Ben and Michael practically carrying Brian down the steps between them. “Wherever it is ... he'll have to come back for it tomorrow,” replied Ben and Michael shook his head.
“We'll never get a cab ... they won't take him in this state,” and they propped Brian up against a lamppost. While Michael kept Brian upright, Ben went to the curb and seeing the cab with its vacant light on coming around the corner, whistled the driver towards them. Ben opened the door and before the driver had a chance to object, Michael had pushed Brian into the back and he and Ben quickly followed.
The driver was about to refuse to take them, but Ben's imposing size made him have second thoughts. “He better not throw up back there ...” the man stated; summoning up enough courage to warn them. “He won't,” promised Michael and he mentally kept his fingers crossed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Brian managed to wait until they'd reached the loft and Michael opened the cab door. Brian leaned over his friend and threw up in the curb while Ben got out and paid their fare, then they hauled him upstairs.
“If you wanna stay with him ...” offered Ben as Michael began to undress his friend, but Michael shook his head. “Once I've put him to bed, he'll be out until morning ...”
Brian was practically unconscious as it was and having stripped him down to his underpants, Michael rolled Brian into the recovery position, pulled the duvet over him and set his alarm clock.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Unsurprisingly, Brian slept through the alarm and he didn't wake until almost 10:00. Then, as he was trying to drag himself out of bed, he was finally able to determine the difference between the pounding in his head and the ringing of his cell phone, but he had no idea where it was. In fact, he had no recollection of the previous evening or how he got home; whether he'd stayed on a work or had been to Woody's, Babylon or brought a trick back to the loft.
“Brian ... at last ... where the hell are you?” whispered Cynthia urgently, once Brian had found his cell on the dresser, along with his wallet and keys.
Brian's mouth was sandpaper dry and had a foul taste and he swallowed. “Where's the fire?” was the non-answer and all that Brian could think of.
“Ryder's been looking for you since he came in around 30 minutes ago ... he's really eager to see you ... you better get in here ...”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Barely 20 minutes later, Brian was showered, shaved and dressed; and having popped two Advil with the disgustingly cold coffee that was still in the pot from the previous day, made he way down to the street. He halted at the curb.
“Where's my fucking car?” Brian groaned and closing his eyes, he pinched the bridge of his nose.
Having no idea where he'd been or how he'd got home, Brian didn't know whether his jeep had been stolen or not, and so he called a cab to get into the office. And on the journey, he called the Police and reported it missing just in case.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“How do I look?” asked Brian and instinctively, Cynthia reached up to straighten his tie. Brian looked a little tired, but that could be down to working too hard, though she had her suspicions that this particular morning, that wasn't the case. But in any case, he still looked good. Brian always looked good.
“You look great, boss,” came her answer and Brian attempted a smile. Though his headache was starting to recede, he still felt like shit, but his heart had started to pound with excitement.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“There you are ... I couldn't find you earlier ...” greeted Marty Ryder and he chuckled. “Out chasing more clients no doubt ...” and he grinned at Brian and indicated the chair closest to the desk. Brian smiled back at him as he took his seat. “You know me,” came the answer and Marty nodded. Brian's whereabouts that morning didn't really concern him; he knew how hard Brian worked and whether he was with a potential client or had decided to take a little time to himself, he could hardly begrudge him
Marty made his way around his desk, sat down and pulled open the top drawer. He took out a folder and slid it across the polished surface towards Brian.
“You may decide to have your own attorney look at it ... but I think you'll be pleased ...”
Brian blinked and rolled his lips into his mouth. Surely, this was what he'd been working towards practically all his adult life and he took a deep breath before reaching out and retrieving the folder. Slowly he opened it and read the paperwork, not once, but twice. There were two sets; one for him and one for Marty and having satisfied himself to the contract's generosity and accepted its terms, he nodded and smiled.
“Looks fine by me,” stated Brian and though he was trying hard not to show it, his stomach was doing somersaults and not because of the vast amount of alcohol he'd consumed the previous evening.
This was it; his partnership contract.
“Well ... if you're sure you're happy ...” Marty had been playing with a pen and on Brian's nod, he reached out across the desk and handed it to him. Brian signed on all the dotted lines required.
Getting up from his chair, Marty came around the desk towards him and Brian stood. The two men shook hands warmly. “Congratulations, Brian ... you deserve it ... sorry I kept you hanging around ...” and he picked up one of the copies of the agreement and handed it to him; Brian folded it up and put it in his jacket's inside pocket.
“Yeah ... you did,” grinned Brian back at him. “But I forgive you ...”
Still smiling, Marty walked over to the little fridge that stood in the corner of his office and opening it, retrieved a bottle of Champagne. “It's a little early for this ... and I've got a lunch date downtown shortly ... take it home and celebrate ... we'll talk about your new status later ...” and he handed the bottle to Brian before shaking hands with him again and leaving Brian standing in the office.
Brian closed his eyes and took a deep breath and when he opened them, Cynthia was peering around the door at him. “Well?” she asked him eagerly, but then Brian held up the Champagne.
“Wonderful ... I get to be the bitch of the office and no one can say anything,” she grinned at him. But Brian knew Cynthia better than that. She was smart, dedicated and loyal and yes, could certainly stand up for herself. But a bitch? Hardly, and Brian had some experience of bitchiness, that's for sure.
“Here,” and Brian handed her the bottle of Champagne before retrieving another one from Marty's supply. “He won't notice,” Brian grinned at her.
“So ... does this mean you qualify for a bigger office?” Cyn asked him as they made their way down the corridor and Brian grinned. “Oh, I'm sure they'll be plenty of benefits from this,” and he patted the contract in his pocket.
Cynthia's phone was ringing as they reached her desk and leaving her to answer it, Brian made his way into his office, putting his purloined bottle of Champagne down on his desk. His heart was just about slowing down to its normal rate as he took the contract out of his pocket and took another look at it.
“That was the Police,” Cynthia informed him as she popped her head into the office and Brian spun around to face her. “They found your car ...”
“Christ ... that was quick ... where was it?” asked Brian, astonished at how soon it had been located.
“It's on Liberty Avenue ... a block down the street from Woody's ... they muttered something about wasting Police time ...” came the answer and with a knowing look, Cyn closed the door behind her as she left.
Suddenly, Brian felt strangely weak, his legs shaking as he slumped down in one of the easy chairs that furnished his office and he closed his eyes.
Somebody must have taken him home last night. Thank God he'd had the good sense not to try and drive or that someone had stopped him, because given his condition this morning, he didn't think he'd been able to make his own way. They'd probably called Mikey, the one person Brian used to be able to rely on when he needed a crutch and apparently would still turn out to help him. He'd call him later to find out if indeed it was his friend and thank him if it was. But Brian sighed.
How much longer could he go on like this, he asked himself. He was drinking and whoring himself into an early grave; getting to the point where he had no recollection of where he'd been or who he'd been with and was no longer part of the gang who looked out for each other.
Anything could happen to him when he was as incapable as last night. He could be robbed or raped and left for dead, or indeed murdered for his wallet, his car, watch or even the cell he was carrying.
He was on his own and slowly killing himself and suddenly, the partnership seemed a little hollow and unimportant.
Brian took out his cell phone to call Michael; it had been switched off since calling the Police and while he was with Marty and he'd missed a call and Brian managed a smile when he saw who'd called him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Hi Mikey ...”
“So you are back in the land of the living,” chuckled Michael and Brian smiled again.
“We couldn't find the jeep ... but I guess it's not far from Woody's ... as that's where we found you,” his friend informed him and Brian groaned. “You might have let me know before I called the Police ...”
“Shit ... you didn't?” asked Michael, shocked that his friend hadn't realized where he must have left it, but then was he really that surprised, given Brian's state last night?
“I think they were a little pissed ...”
“I bet ...” answered Michael and then he paused before continuing.
“Are you okay?” he asked him and Brian took a deep breath. “I am now ... Ryder just gave me my partnership ...”
That wasn't really the answer to the question he was asking, but Michael was genuinely pleased for him.
“Brian ... that's fucking fantastic ...”
“We should celebrate ... only ...”
Brian closed his eyes as he heard Michael hesitate and then clear his throat.
“We've got neighbors coming over for dinner tonight ...”
“You could come too ...” came the invitation after a little consideration, but Brian didn't miss it.
“No ... thanks but ... I've got celebration plans of my own ...” and he hoped Michael wouldn't hear the lie.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Brian retrieved his jeep and arriving home, decided to take the stairs and he hesitated outside the door of Justin's studio, but he didn't go in and continued up to the loft.
Again, he'd stayed on late at the office, a problem cropping up that needed a partner's say-so and Marty wasn't contactable. Brian had to make his first management decision and his heart had pounded, but he'd enjoyed the responsibility.
Now he'd come home to a darkened loft to celebrate. Alone, with only a bottle of Champagne for company.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Justin ...
“JUSTIN ...”
Justin could hear the voice, but thought it was in his head until something prodded him in the arm.
“Where have you been? ... we looked for you everywhere ... I was so worried ... ”
Slowly, Justin opened his eyes; shielding them from the bright light shining down on him and uncurling himself and sitting up, he looked around. It would appear to be late afternoon by the height of the sun in the sky and thankfully, the fierceness of its heat had lessened. Justin realized he must have fallen asleep at the spot down by the river where he liked to come to draw and Princess Fahliah was staring down at him.
Justin blinked and although he recognized where he was, he was unable to recall how he got there. Ignoring Fahliah's persistent questions as to his recent whereabouts, it was now all slowly coming back to him; his banishment to the bottle, his voyage on the ship and then ...
Justin swallowed. Brian. All that time he'd spent with Brian in the place he'd learned was called Pittsburgh, and he looked around him. How could that be? He was still obviously in the place of his birth. Had it all been a dream? But then he finally heard what his Mistress was asking him as he slowly got to his feet.
“Justin ... what are you wearing? I've never seen clothes like that before ...”
Justin looked down at himself and realized he was wearing a tee and jeans and had sneakers on his feet. He patted himself down and from his back pocket, withdrew the card and dollar bills Jennifer had given him that time, having forgotten to put them somewhere else for safety. But he grinned widely at the revelation. It hadn't been a dream. All that time with Brian had been real and here was the proof, in what he was wearing and carrying.
But then Justin sighed as the memory returned to him completely and he closed his eyes, remembering how much he and Brian had been in love but how desperate he'd felt about their life together; being parted from Brian so frequently and that his anguish had led to him smashing the bottle, not knowing what the result would be. At the time, he hadn't really been thinking about whether he would live or die. All he knew was that he couldn't go on as they were.
The consequences of his actions appeared to have spared his life, but had removed him from that place and returned him home. And of course, it had taken him away from the man he loved. But at least he was free of the bottle and with all his heart, he hoped Brian would be free too, even if it meant he couldn't be with him. After all, during the time he'd lived with Brian, when he didn't even know Justin existed, the younger man had witnessed Brian change from the seemingly cold-hearted, but ultimately vulnerable man, to someone who at last believed in his ability to love and accept himself worthy of another's love. And once believing himself capable, Justin hoped Brian would love again.
Even though Fahliah had been extremely disappointed in Justin's behavior prior to his leaving, his sudden departure and events following had worried and confused her and now looking at her, Justin could see the concern in the Princess' face.
“Justin ... what happened to you? Please ... don't worry about before ... I am still your friend ... and I know the truth ... about the bottle ...”
Justin stared at her and then sighed with relief. Could she really know anything of what he'd been through, but he doubted.
“Mistress ... you are never going to believe what has happened to me,” stated the young man and together, they started to make their way back to the palace. As they began their walk, Justin related to the Princess an incredible tale, thinking that she would never believe him, but the Princess didn't doubt him. She'd come to realize that her actions in going to the Fakir for a love potion had started a whole chain of events that any sane person would never be able to comprehend, but to the Princess it all seemed perfectly feasible.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Fakir had summoned up all the sorcery he could muster in order to imprison Justin in the bottle and the winds that had swept him away also tore around Hassan and his Uncle. The force of the spell had taken even the old man by surprise and fearing that he'd unleashed a power even he didn't understand, the Fakir was terrified of the consequences of his actions. Desperate to make a hasty escape, he had grabbed the bottle in order to dispose of any evidence which might incriminate him and made his way quickly through the corridors; deserting his nephew and leaving him to whatever fate might befall the palace inhabitants.
The storm had torn the room to shreds, but other parts of the palace were unaffected and outside, the sun was shining and nothing was disturbed. Spotting the sea captain exiting the palace confines to wander through the market searching for goods or souvenirs, the Fakir had assumed the persona of a beggar and had sold him the bottle as a gift for the man's wife, thus sealing Justin's fate and sending him away as far as possible and even making a little money in the process.
Inside the palace, the Princess had changed and was coming back to the room in order to deal with Justin after his outburst concerning Hassan's possible poisoning of her tea. But the storm had knocked her off her feet and the palace guards were unable to enter the room, so fierce was the wind that kept them out.
Horrified by what he saw and to Hassan's credit, he had fought through the debris that was falling around them to get to the Princess and used his own body to protect her. Hassan had indeed developed sincere feelings for Fahliah and witnessing what was happening, was afraid for her safety. And, when the winds had died down, miraculously, everything was intact, but the Fakir and Justin were nowhere to be found.
Fahliah had demanded an explanation and shamed and shocked by the ferocity of his Uncle's actions, Hassan had thrown himself on the Princess and her Father's mercy, explaining about his Uncle's spell, banishing Justin to the bottle.
Proclaiming his true love for the Princess, he admitted that he had, indeed, administered something to Fahliah's drink. But not a poison, as was feared by Justin, but a love potion, in the attempt to have the Princess fall in love with him; Hassan. But the man then stated that if accorded mercy, he would dedicate himself to Fahliah for the remainder of his days as a loyal and faithful husband and to her Father, the King, as his champion.
Though shocked, the Princess was touched by Hassan's sincerity and was more than willing to become his wife, but the King had required further persuasion. But persuasion was the Princess' forte and the King relented. But one problem remained of course, Justin.
Hassan and the King's men searched for the Fakir, but he was nowhere to be found, though it was learned that someone bearing a great resemblance to the man was seen selling a bottle to Captain Buchanan. But of course, the Captain's ship was long gone and, so it seemed, was the Fakir. Justin appeared to be lost forever to another world. But, with the spell broken by the smashing of the bottle that enforced it, Justin had been transported back to the place of his birth.
“But Justin ... you're free and returned to us,” exclaimed the Princess. “And in time for my wedding too ...”
Justin smiled and then completely ignoring the fact they were Mistress and servant, the two young people hugged.
“I am pleased for you,” declared Justin. “Then why do you look so sad?” asked the Princess, unable to ignore the sorrowful look in his eyes and Justin sighed. “I ... I met someone ...”
“Do you love them?” asked the Princess, the look on Justin's face could only mean one thing and the young man smiled. “With all my heart ...”
“Then we shall have to see what we can do,” exclaimed Fahliah and the call went out throughout the land for a powerful Fakir to come forward.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The story of the mortal boy being imprisoned in the bottle and taken to a far off land had spread throughout the Kingdom and in recognition of his loyalty to his Mistress, a reward would be given to whoever could duplicate the spell and return Justin back to the place he yearned for.
Many men came forward with demands for great wealth, greed being their obvious motivator, but with no skill or talent to carry out the required task. But then one particular man sought an audience.
The Shaman was curious about the story and why anyone would wish to return to a strange land so far away and he requested to meet Justin. Justin stepped forward and as befitted the man's standing, stood with his head bowed.
“Please leave us to talk,” instructed the Shaman and the Princess and even her Father and guards did as he requested.
“Come ... sit ...” came the request and doing as he was told, Justin sat on the cushions at the old man's feet.
“Tell me your story ... why would you wish to leave here ... and return to a strange and far off land ... aren't you glad to be free of the bottle and back at your home?”
Justin sighed, his shoulders dropped and he looked despairing and simply replied. “True ... this was my home ... but I realize now that there is nothing here that I really want ...”
“Indeed?” asked the old man. “And what would that be?”
“To be with the one I love,” answered Justin, now looking up at him and the Shaman could see how Justin's eyes glistened and how his heart was breaking at the thought of the person he'd left behind.
Reaching out, the Shaman placed his hand on Justin's shoulder, his eyes revealing the kindness in the old man's heart.
“Ah,” he declared. “Love ... a powerful spell in its own right ...”
“This person ... they have your heart ... but do you have theirs?”
From his sitting position, Justin moved onto his knees and clasped his hands to his chest and the Shaman had no doubt as to the depth of the young man's feelings.
“It isn't just my heart ... but my soul as well ... my whole being ... and I know I am afforded the same in return ... we were as one ...”
“I see,” stated the Shaman. “Then tell me ... why and how did you break the spell?
Justin sighed. “When the Fakir sentenced me to the bottle's imprisonment ... he declared that even though one day someone may set me free ... that I would never know true freedom ... that my liberty would be restricted and then I must return to my prison ... a sentence that would continue into eternity ...”
“So the bottle would release me ... only to take me back again ...”
“Removing you from your loved one,” stated the Shaman in understanding. “But that still doesn't explain how the spell was broken ...”
He saw Justin swallow and heard the catch in the young man's voice when he told him how he'd despaired and wishing to relieve both himself and his lover from their torment and free a heart to love again, how he himself had smashed the bottle, not really knowing of the consequences. But the tears now spilling out from Justin's eyes confirmed his declaration of a shared love and a broken heart and the old man smiled.
“Then believe in the power of love and, indeed, that two hearts can become as one again ...”
“Go ... say your goodbyes and then return to me quickly ... we have work to do ...”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Justin fled to the Princess to hug and wish her as much love with Hassan as he felt for his own true love. “Are you sure you can trust him?” Princess Fahliah had asked Justin of the Shaman and her friend and servant had nodded. “Completely,” came the answer and they embraced again. And then he made his way to the servant's quarters, bidding goodbye to his friends and all the women who had loved and looked after him as their own.
Justin couldn't wait to get back to Brian and had no idea how long it had been since he left. In the young man's mind, it could surely only have been a short time since they were parted, though in fact, the concept of time is irrelevant where sorcery is concerned.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Wait ... I forgot about the reward,” stated Justin in horror, but the Shaman declined. “I need no reward to reunite two souls who belong together,” stated the old man and he placed his hand on Justin's head.
“Close your eyes and visualize the place you want to be ... and believe ...”
Doing as he was instructed, Justin became aware of the heat from the old man's touch and began to feel drowsy and he felt himself swaying. The Shaman stood back and called upon all the entities at his disposal. The love and longing in Justin's eyes had touched him deeply and an emotion like that was one of the most powerful in the universe. Indeed, its force had been known to change the course of history and no doubt would forever.
Summoning his full powers and uttering words in a strange and mysterious language, the Shaman's robes began to swirl around him as the strong winds once again swept through the palace, though on this occasion, there would be no sign of destruction, however temporary, but the result would be the same. But instead of disappearing into a bottle, Justin's form faded until the young man no longer stood before him.
“Go with whichever god you believe in ...” prayed the Shaman and his work done, he smiled and left.
How can you transport a love through time and space? But if true love is timeless, surely anything is possible. The heart can overcome seemingly insurmountable difficulties. And if you believe, then anything is attainable.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Justin opened his eyes and even in the shadows, instantly recognized his surroundings. His heart soared and he thanked every god that existed for the chance to return and be with the man he loved once more and he slowly mounted the steps to the bedroom.
From just the blue lights over the bed, Justin could see Brian asleep beneath the duvet, but as he approached the bed, he kicked something. Retrieving the empty bottle of Beam from the floor, Justin sighed and placed it on the night stand. Though Brian had brought the bottle of Champagne home, he'd only been in the mood for something a lot stronger and had finished the last couple of shots straight from the bottle, taking it to bed; alone.
And even in the low light, Brian took Justin's breath away with his beauty, but though asleep, he didn't look at rest.
Justin sat on the side of the bed and reaching out, stroked Brian's cheek and the man uttered a quiet moan.
“Brian ...”
Softly, Justin called his lover's name, but Brian only sighed in his sleep.
“Brian ...” repeated Justin, more loudly this time and the older man opened his eyes and blinked and turned his head in the direction of the voice that seemed to be calling his name.
Justin smiled at him, but Brian merely groaned or sobbed, Justin wasn't sure which and Brian closed his eyes and turning back, buried his face in the pillow. Quickly, Justin wriggled out of his clothes and slid under the duvet and called Brian's name again.
Brian buried his face deeper in the pillow as he attempted to block everything out. Would this torture never stop, he wondered; dreaming of Justin, but never being able to see or touch him ever again. But the voice in his head persisted and he sat up suddenly, making Justin jump and forcing him back.
“I can't bear this ...” sobbed Brian, his whole body shaking with despair and he stared out into the room and then Justin realized.
Putting his hand on Brian's shoulder, Justin leaned over and kissed him on the temple. The shock of the physical contact made Brian recoil and he pulled back, but then he turned and stared at the face in the shadows.
Justin smiled at him again, his smile virtually lighting up the darkened room and Brian's heart began to pound. This had to be a dream, but the young man in front of him seemed so real, so tangible and then he saw the smile spread even further across the blond's face and Brian let out a sob.
“Justin?” he whispered, hardly daring to believe what his eyes were telling him and Justin leaned forward and kissed him on the mouth. Brian closed his eyes and slowly, his arms enfolded the younger man and he deepened the kiss, but fearing he was still imagining all this, he pulled back again.
“No ...” Brian cried out, still unable to believe it.
“Yes,” countered the younger man. “This isn't a dream, Brian ... it's me ... I'm back ...”
“I'm free of the bottle and I'm staying ... as long as you want me ...”
Brian let out a gasp and closed his eyes, his heart soaring, as he took Justin into his arms. He didn't ask or even care how, right at this moment. All he knew was that Justin was here, he was alive and real and had come back to him, for good.
Making love to Justin, the young man he'd given his heart to, after he thought he would neither need or love anyone in his life, Brian marveled at how much the young man had given him, allowing him to put aside everything that made him doubt his ability to feel. Of course, Justin had known all along how much Brian was able to give, even if the man hadn't recognized it himself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I'm sorry I hurt you ... smashing the bottle and disappearing like that,” whispered Justin in the darkness as he lay in Brian's arms. Brian smiled at how natural it felt to welcome this connection with the young man who had been willing to destroy himself because of his desperation, believing he might free Brian to love in the process.
“You're forgiven,” stated Brian and then he frowned. “But you were giving up the most ... I mean ... if you'd stayed as you were ... being taken back into the bottle like that ... as I understand it ... you would have remained immortal ...”
“You could have lived forever ...”
Justin sat up and turning to face Brian, placed his fingers beneath the older man's chin.
“Why would I want to live forever ... if I couldn't be with you?” the younger man asked him and with salty tears running down both their faces, Justin leaned in to kiss him and indeed, two hearts were now one and would never be parted.
And now they were a couple; a real couple and Brian never felt as happy and complete before and neither had Justin, as they began their lives together.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“You don't mind ... about my saying you were Justin Taylor?” Jennifer had asked a little nervously.
Like Brian, she could hardly believe it when Justin had returned to them and had announced that he was free of that awful bottle; that he could live as normal a life as anyone else. And when Brian rang and invited her over and Justin had emerged from the bathroom and grinning from ear to ear, this time, thank goodness, Jennifer didn't faint. But she could hardly speak either and it was some time later, after Justin had told them about the Shaman, that Brian and Jennifer told him about putting his paintings into the art show.
“Of course I don't mind ... I'm honored,” stated Justin and then his face took on a serious expression.
“But it will be interesting to see what you've chosen ...”
Brian and Jennifer exchanged glances. “We could always change them,” offered Brian, remembering Justin's reluctance to allow Lindsay to help him with his choice, but the younger man grinned at him.
“I trust you,” he told them and then Justin frowned.
“Do you think they'll like them? My paintings I mean ...” asked Justin and Jennifer had beamed and nodded. “Everyone will love them ...”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“That was the most amazing experience of my life,” stated Justin and Brian raised an eyebrow. “Okay ... the second most amazing experience of my life,” chuckled the younger man and Brian squeezed the back of blond's neck. “That's better ...”
Justin's paintings at the art show went down a storm. Every one had been sold and he had attracted rave reviews. He was thrilled that the gay teens shelter had been chosen to be the beneficiary of the proceeds and Brian opened that bottle of Champagne in celebration.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Brian loved the fact that he could now take Justin out shopping for clothes and shoes; especially shoes. And, with the aid of a fake ID, Brian was, at last, actually able to take Justin to Woody's and then on to Babylon. The real Babylon.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arriving at the entrance to Babylon, Justin had shown his ID. The doorman looked at him suspiciously, but then seeing who he was with, shrugged and let them both through.
Once inside the club, Justin winced at the noise assailing his ears. The music was loud out on the street, heaven knows how many decibels were belting out inside the place, but the gay thumpa thumpa immediately made him tingle with excitement.
The heat was intense and so was the atmosphere and when Brian led Justin out into the middle of the dance floor, it was as if they were the only two men in existence. Everyone stopped as they watched this beautiful couple who mirrored each other's movements, holding on and gazing into each others eyes. Totally lost in a world of their own.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They left the club around 3:00 and as they took the steps back out onto the street, Justin called out to Brian.
“You know Babylon actually means the Gates of God,” stated the younger man and reaching out, he caught Brian by the elbow and spun him around; Justin a couple of steps behind and he now looked directly at him.
“And I've seen his face ...” stated Justin, with all the sincerity in his heart; truly believing Brian to be the most beautiful man in existence.
Not caring that they were blocking the exit, Brian remounted the steps and took Justin in his arms and kissed him. He was still trying to get used to someone constantly telling him just how much he was loved, but Brian would do all in his power to ensure that Justin would never have any reason to stop doing so.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The gang had been more than just a little surprised when finally they'd been officially introduced to the young man who'd stolen Brian's heart, but in the main, everyone had taken to him immediately.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“About fucking time ...” Debbie greeted them on the doorstep, one hand on her hip and wearing her fiercest expression. But then she broke into a broad grin as she first embraced Brian and then Justin.
It wasn't only the fact that they had arrived 'fashionably late', but mostly Debbie was referring to the fact that they had, at last, made it to her place for dinner.
The whole gang were there. Debbie loved Justin to bits and listening to him and Brian talking and laughing together, brought a tear to her eye. Even the girls accepted him; Lindsay, a little reluctantly at first, but seeing the love that the two men obviously shared, realized that this was the life Brian needed. And Mel, of course, was more than happy to think that Brian might have a partner and that the feelings she knew Lindsay once had for the man would finally be given up as pointless. Emmett, naturally, still thought Justin was a total hottie and Ted nodded in agreement. There was certainly no denying that.
Really it was only Michael who told his partner quietly that he'd reserve judgment. Ben shook his head and whispered to him that he should be happy for his friend and Michael had sighed, reluctantly admitting Ben was right. If Brian was happy, then that really was the only thing that mattered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After dinner, when everyone had moved to the living room, Brian smiled as he surveyed Justin balancing Gus on his knee. Gus was certainly smitten and Justin was enjoying every minute, now no longer fearing that the youngster would be at risk from him. That no longer would that damn bottle ruin their lives.
At one point, Justin looked up and caught Brian watching him and grinned at the older man and Brian grinned back. With an unspoken understanding that maybe one day, Gus wouldn't be the only child in their lives.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Justin's certainly brought a little sunshine into your life ...” smiled Debbie as she and Brian hugged goodnight. Never in her life, had she seen Brian as relaxed as during this evening: mostly it had seemed like he was a coiled spring ready to go off.
“Be happy ...” she whispered in his ear and looking at her, Brian had rolled his lips into his mouth and then he grinned. “We will be,” he answered her and taking Justin's hand, they headed off home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Six Months Later:
“Are you sure?”
“I mean ... are you absolutely sure?” Jennifer asked him in disbelief and Brian nodded. “I sent a sample of both yours and Justin's DNA to a lab ...”
“They confirmed it ... you have more than enough in common to be the same blood line ...” and he spread his arms. “Don't ask me how ... through brothers ... sisters ... who knows ...”
“But it's a fact ...”
Jennifer and Justin beamed at each other and hugged for several minutes and when eventually Jennifer pulled back and tried to compose herself, she turned back to him with a question. “What DNA? What did you use?”
“I sent them a glass you'd used while you were here ... and an envelope you gave me that I remembered seeing you lick and seal when I bought the loft ...” Brian admitted and Jennifer shook her head as she still tried to absorb everything.
“This is amazing ... but you don't know how thrilled I am ...” choked Jennifer and the tears started again. Brian grinned. Oh yes, he knew alright.
“How is everyone else going to take this? What will they think?” asked Justin and Brian looked at Jennifer.
“We're obviously related, Justin ... I don't think we really needed a piece of paper to tell us that ... do you?” she asked him and Justin smiled and shook his head. “But ... what about Mr. Taylor ... and Molly?”
“Why do we have to explain anything? People disappear and come back all the time ...”
“We could say you were found by a cult ... that you have amnesia,” chuckled Brian and poking Justin gently at the back of the head, but possibly, he was only partly joking.
“But using Justin ... that is my ... my first Justin's birth certificate ... we can get you in anywhere you want ... art school ... get you a social security number ...”
Brian grinned at him. “Don't worry ... there are enough illegals in this place ... the necessary documents aren't that hard to come by ...”
“Molly will love you ... as for Craig ...” and Jennifer sighed. “I'm sorry to say that I really don't think Craig will care ... he has a new family now ... he's not bothered with his old one ...”
“I guess I'll have to get some sort of job ... I don't contribute anything ...” frowned Justin.
“Yes you do,” corrected Brian and he smiled at Justin; the young man gave him more than he would ever know. “But you need to get some qualifications ...”
Justin nodded in agreement. “I know I have a lot to catch up on,” sighed the younger man and Brian nodded. “We can get you a private tutor ... you'll soon be up to speed ...”
“Then you'll be able to concentrate on your art ...”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“What have you two been so conspiratorial about?” asked Brian suspiciously. Jennifer and Justin had been out shopping together on several occasions, but today they were behaving particularly strange.
“We bought you a present,” announced Justin and he grinned at Jennifer. “Go on,” she urged him and Justin dashed out into the hallway to fetch the carry box, which he handed to Jennifer, leaving some bags to be brought in later.
Brian blinked as he watched Justin open the little wire door on the box and take out what looked to be a small ball of fluff, which now settled contentedly in his hands.
“This is Bardia ... that means Prince ...”
“Isn't he adorable?”
“I hope you like him,” stated Justin and Brian momentarily closed his eyes. Justin's heart sank, the last thing in the world Brian looked like he wanted right now was a pet and all that came with it. Justin's fears appeared to be confirmed when the man abruptly turned around and headed for the bathroom.
“He hates the idea,” sighed Justin to Jennifer and he looked down at the little mite in his hands and he stroked Badia, a silver and golden Persian and yes, he was adorable.
“I guess this makes a matching pair,” stated Brian and chuckling to himself in disbelief, he set the second carry box down on the floor and opened it; taking out an equally adorable bundle of fur; the same breed.
“I bought one for you too ...” stated Brian and he picked up the kitten, which meowed quietly, but who enjoyed the contact and would prove to be an equally affectionate companion.
“This is Azad,” and Brian smiled. “I've been doing my homework ... it means free ...” and they chuckled at how they had both ended up doing exactly the same thing and with a little maneuvering, Brian and Justin exchanged their gifts; both equally as thrilled at the thoughtfulness of the other.
Indeed, they had both missed the Neilson's cats so they set their new kittens down on the floor, and Jennifer watched over them as Justin retrieved the rest of the paraphernalia from the hallway and Brian did likewise from the bathroom. And they now had two of everything.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Being a partner at the ad agency certainly did have its advantages. There was the increased responsibility of course, but Brian rose to every challenge. It also brought a bigger office, decorated to Brian's own taste, a virtually unlimited expense account and a higher salary enabling Brian to make the Neilson's an offer they couldn't refuse.
Brian bought the Neilson's apartment and had a spiral staircase installed to connect it to the loft. Downstairs was remodeled to accommodate a studio for Justin, a small office for Brian, a kitchen, living area and cloakroom. The loft was divided into a compact children's play and living area, keeping a tiny kitchen unit and three bedrooms, all ensuite. The master bedroom of course, was Brian and Justin's and the bathroom included a tub as well as a shower; the two men making every effort to do their bit towards saving the planet and conserving water, of course. And the old sea-trunk sat proudly at the end of the bed; its restored condition belying the centuries of history it had witnessed and the precious cargo it had carried.
The second bedroom would be for Gus when he came to stay. And Brian made it quite clear that he intended to play a much bigger part in his son's life, whether the girls liked it or not.
And the smaller third bedroom? Well, they would just have to wait and see.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Just out of interest ... I keep meaning to ask ... what was my DNA that you sent off to be checked along with Jennifer's?” asked Justin and he saw Brian grin, mischievously. After showing Justin the letter from the lab before Jennifer came over before, Brian had tried to explain the theory of DNA. Justin understood; sort of.
“Ah,” stated Justin as realization dawned, remembering the cells and substances Brian had said from which DNA could be extracted, bodily fluids amongst them. “The pillow case ... Joyce said there was one missing from the set ...”
Joyce had finally come back to work and had stated that this particular piece of bed linen seemed to have disappeared off the face of the earth and Brian acknowledged that maybe it had been lost. They certainly did seem to get through a lot of laundry these days.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Brian moved along the bed towards him and ran his hand up Justin's naked back and into his hair. The young man's skin was soft and flawless and the hair silky soft and Brian felt himself start to harden. Justin moaned; tingling with excitement and anticipation at Brian's touch.
Justin swallowed. He was kneeling on all fours in the middle of the bed and he waited as Brian squeezed out the lube onto his fingers and coated himself, but their ritual of Justin placing the condom onto Brian's cock was no longer required. Checked and given a clean bill of health and Brian's need for nameless tricks who never really satisfied him having ceased, there was no further need for any barrier between them.
Reaching up again, Brian ran his thumb down the length of Justin's spine and the younger man threw his head back and groaned more loudly this time. He needed Brian inside him so much, his cock was throbbing and his heart was already beating almost clean out of his chest.
Having reached the top of the blond's crack, Brian slipped his fingers between those beautiful full buttocks and located Justin's hole; stroking and teasing him before finally slipping a finger inside.
The blond's groans grew louder and Brian grinned and felt himself harden further as Justin automatically clenched. But the tightness Brian now felt around his fingers wasn't because the young man's body was trying to prevent his entry, it was because Justin wanted to feel Brian inside him and draw him further in.
Brian added another digit and slowly worked his fingers in and out; the sight of seeing any part of himself taken inside the younger man turning him on even further. And putting his other hand on Justin's shoulder, Brian gripped him as Justin began to push backwards against Brian's forward probing until that oh, so sweet spot was found. The spot that seemed to make Justin's head explode and he could see nothing other than a white light, while at the same time his hand went to his cock.
Unable to ignore his own needs any longer, Brian withdrew his fingers and Justin moaned at the lack of contact, but his disappointment only lasted a moment as Brian maneuvered himself and Justin could feel the hardness slip between his buttocks.
Justin pushed himself up off the bed and with Brian's aid, he was pulled backwards and impaled on the older man's cock. Justin's own body weight enabled Brian to enter him fully and for a moment, they were motionless with Justin leaning back against Brian's chest, feeling the man's heart beating in unison with his own; their bodies fused together. And then Brian began to thrust inside even deeper, until both men were brought to climax, their orgasms shuddering through them in ever increasing waves, taking them over the edge and into that wonderful oblivion and Justin felt Brian's seed explode with a hot force inside him.
This is how it would always be; two bodies, two hearts, souls and minds entwined and bonded together. Their love always tender and giving, caring and passionate, but physically demanding and satisfying. Bodies sated and fulfilled; their love knowing no bounds.
And when Brian no longer felt that control was everything, giving his body to Justin seemed to be the most natural thing in the world. The trust he was according Justin, didn’t pass the younger man by; its significance almost overwhelming and so began the final phase in affirming their relationship.
Despite Brian currently being the sole breadwinner, they regarded that theirs was a totally equal partnership. Emotionally and physically they gave each other everything and never held back.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I still sometimes can't quite believe it ... that you're here,” smiled Brian later, as he stroked the blond hair back from Justin's forehead, and lying in his arms, the younger man took Brian's hand; their fingers entwined.
“Well ... I am,” whispered Justin and pushing himself up on his elbow, he smiled at him. Then, leaning over, he covered Brian's mouth with his own in a deep and loving kiss; this man who having finally allowed himself to love, loved completely and totally. A love these two men would share forever. This was their eternity: together.
Brian never did get three wishes. Instead he got everything he'd never dared hope for.
Maybe it wasn't Justin, but Brian's love that was the true genie set free from the bottle and once allowed to escape, that love would never be confined again expect within the safe keeping of Justin's heart.
And Brian would never have to see Justin only in his dreams ever again.
The End.
With so much grateful thanks to Lois for all her work and advice, and to both Lois and Judy for their continued and much treasured friendship.