What is the cause of the inequality that exists among mankind? Why should one person be brought up in the lap of luxury, endowed with fine mental, moral and physical qualities, and another in absolute poverty, steeped in misery? Either this inequality of mankind has a cause, or it is purely accidental. No sensible person would think of attributing this unevenness, this inequality, and this diversity to blind chance or pure accident. According to Buddhism, this inequality is due not only to heredity, but also to Karma. In other words, it is the result of our own past actions and our own present doings. We ourselves are responsible for our own happiness and misery. We are the architects of our own fate. Chapter 15 Justin sat on a stool in his studio looking out the window at Gus and Austin. They were sitting by the pool, getting some sun. The trainer and his daughter had long gone, peace and quiet restored once more. He couldn’t believe the way Gus was acting around Tiffany. He’d seen him with the cheerleaders last fall, but that had been the very first time Gus had started interacting with women and he had been tentative and shy, completely unsure of himself. Today he saw a very different kid; a lot more aggressive, almost competing with Austin for Tiffany’s attention. Justin tried to remember what he was like at sixteen and that just made him even more concerned. If Gus had sex on his mind as much as he did at that age, they would be in deep trouble. Maybe having Austin around wasn’t such a good idea. All he would do was fan the flames and he and Gus would just get into a pissing contest over this girl. Brian had told him to chill out and stop being ridiculous. He was his usual pragmatic self, claiming that Gus and Austin were just acting like two normal boys. He’s not going to be a baby forever, you know. You need to let go and stop queening. Easy for him to say, Justin thought. He didn’t have to sit and watch. Justin decided to stop thinking about it and he picked up the phone to call Emmett. “Fabulous, Pittsburgh’s Premier Party Place,” Rick answered in his breathy come-fuck-me kind of voice. “Hey Rick, it’s Justin Taylor. Is Emmett around?” “Oh hi, Mr. Taylor!” Rick gushed. “Yes, he’s here. Let me get him on the phone.” “Hi honey,” Emmett said, seconds later. “What’s going on?” “Nothing much,” Justin replied. “I’ve been doing some thinking, about the whole Buddhism thing, and I was wondering how I could get more information. Is there some way you can set me up with the guy who introduced you to all of this?” “Honey, I will not only set you up with him, I’ll take you out to the monastery itself. How does that sound?” “That sounds really good Em. When do you think we can do it?” “I have a few commitments in the next couple days but I should be free after that,” Emmett replied. “Why don’t I set it up for Saturday? That way Max can come too and while you’re with the Master, he and I can see the sights and explore. There are some great antique stores in town that we can shop at while you are at the monastery.” “Okay, that’s fine with me,” Justin replied. “Now, does this Master have a name?” “He does, Hon, I just can’t pronounce it, much less spell it. Way too many letters, so I just call him Master. It’s simpler; he told me to do that from the first day I met him and stumbled over his name,” Emmett explained. “Where’s the monastery?” Justin asked. “North East of here, in Natrona Heights. Mostly expressway driving, it’ll be a nice outing for us,” Emmett said. “Are you going to bring Brian?” “No! Are you kidding? He would have a hissy fit if I even suggested it,” Justin said. “He’ll have plenty of time to get used to the whole concept,” Emmett said. “Believe me, once you talk to the Master you will come away with a whole new mind set.” “I’m open to anything at his point,” Justin said. “Okay, Hon, then that’s settled. Plan on leaving early, around eight, so you’ll have lots of time to spend with him.” “Okay,” Justin said. “I’ll bring the Beemer so that we can all be comfortable.” “Oh, thank God,” Emmett gushed, “The thought of being squished into the jump seat of your sports car for two hours is not my idea of fun, although it’s such a fast car we’d probably get there in half the time.” “Don’t worry,” Justin said, smiling. “The BMW is fast enough. We’ll get there in plenty time.” “Okay Hon, I’ll talk to you another time; gotta get going,” Emmett said. “Later, Em,” Justin said. He put the phone down. A minute later he picked it up again and dialed Daphne’s phone number. “Dr. Chanders,” she said. “Hey, Daphe.” “Oh, hi Justin. What’s up?” “Nothing. I just wanted to see how you were doing. I haven’t talked to you since we had dinner at your house.” “I’m fine.” “Are you? You haven’t called so I figured I’d check in,” Justin said. “I guess I’m alright, Justin. I’m trying really hard not to think about babies and pregnancy right now. I promised Alex I would give it some time.” “Time?” Justin asked. “For what?” “I don’t know,” she said sadly. “I guess time for everyone to decide what they want to do.” “Does that mean me?” Justin asked. “Well, yes…you and Alex and Brian too, I guess. It’s just difficult to not have control over the situation. I’m not used to having other people decide the course of my life.” “I know Daphe, you always were a control freak,” Justin said, smiling into the phone. “I guess so. In the meantime, I’m trying real hard not to get impatient. I promised Alex I would try to cool off and stop thinking about this. He wants some time to get to know you and Brian better, to be more comfortable with the whole idea. It’s just tough, waiting for other people to make up their minds.” “This is a huge decision, Daphne, one that is going to affect us for the rest of our lives. I think that it does deserve a lot of thought, Alex is right in that respect,” Justin said. There was silence on the other end of the line and for a minute Justin thought that they had been disconnected. “Daphe, are you still there?” “I’m here,” she replied softly. “I just don’t understand why you are having such a problem with this, Justin. Brian and Michael did it for Lindsay and Melanie. Why is it so different in my case?” “Well for one thing, you are asking me, not Brian or Michael. I have to be comfortable with the whole idea. I need to know that what I’m doing is right for me and my family before I can make a commitment to you. Secondly, there is your husband to consider. He’s afraid, Daphne. He would never say it, but I’m sure he’s thinking it.” “Afraid of what?” she asked. “He’s afraid of relinquishing any parental rights to me. If I were in his shoes I would feel the same way. Actually, I am in his shoes, come to think of it,” Justin said. “How’s that?” “It’s going to be my child too and you are asking me to give up my rights, to essentially let you and Alex make any and all decisions concerning this baby’s future.” “I told you that I would try and convince Alex to let you have joint parental rights.” “Daphne, I don’t see how that’s possible. Do you remember what a fucking nightmare it was when JR was born? When Michael and Lindsay and Melanie were all fighting for custody? It was crazy! That poor kid was bounced around like a volley ball until Lindsay finally came to her senses and Michael realized how horrible he was behaving. I don’t want us to get into that kind of a situation. You mean too much to me, Daphe, our friendship is too important,” Justin said, finally vocalizing the thoughts he’d been having for a while. “And honestly,” Justin continued, “Brian really doesn’t want anything to do with another child. He is pretty adamant about that.” “He really wouldn’t have another child, Justin. The child would be ours, yours and mine and Alex’s. Brian wouldn’t be inconvenienced in any way, would he?” “Daphne, he’s my partner, for Christ’s sake. If I have a child and I became involved in his or her life, it would also impact him. No matter which way you look at it.” “Well, don’t you have a say? Since when have you become a Stepford wife?” Daphne asked sarcastically. “Of course I have a say, Daphne! I’m not some door mat that Brian can step all over. I just won’t do this without his consent or support. I love him Daphne… He’s always been the most important thing in my life and always will be. I would never do anything to jeopardize that.” “Well then, I guess you’ve made up your mind,” Daphne said. “Is there even any point in my waiting?” “I haven’t made a decision yet,” Justin said. “Really? That sure sounded like one to me.” “Well it’s not. I’m just stating all the facts. I have not decided anything yet, but I promise you that I will, and as soon as I do, you’ll be the first to know,” Justin said in one breath. “Okay,” she said. “Meanwhile,” Justin said. “Yes?” “Try not to dwell on this. You need to stop thinking about it and concentrate on getting healthy.” “I am healthy, Justin! The doctors have all reassured me that I have physically recovered from the miscarriage and that I can try again if I want to.” “I mean mentally, Daphne. You need to try and focus on some positive energy and get back into your old brain. This new one is too filled with bad vibes, you need to restore your inner peace if you are going to be able to survive this.” “Jesus, Justin. You sound like an ad for a yoga class.” “Well, that’s not such a bad idea, you know? They say Yoga really does wonders for mental health. I never could get into it myself, too damn slow for me, but maybe you could?” “You have got to be kidding! Think about who you are talking to!” “Yeah, I forgot. You’ve only got two speeds, fast and faster!” “That’s about right!” “Okay, Daphe, but you need to chill out and find something that will work. A large part of a healthy pregnancy is a good mental state. You need to restore your Wa.” “Oh-my-God! You did not just say that,” Daphne said. “Yeah, so?” “Since when are you talking about a Wa? I’ve never heard you mention that once in the years I’ve known you!” “I’ve never mentioned it, but I’ve always known about it. Ever since I learned how to make Bonsais with Emmett that one summer. It’s a Japanese thing and plays an important part when designing a garden or a home. When we took that class they explained how essential your inner balance can be. How inner peace and harmony can impact your daily life. It’s always been important to me. I’ve just never had the need to talk about it,” he said. “Well then don’t,” she said. “Besides, I’m the shrink, not you! I know what I need to do for my mental health.” “Whatever, Daphe, you are not being very receptive to anything new!” “And you are acting like a total queer, Justin!” “I am a total queer, Dr. Chanders, or did you forget that?” “Oh stop it! This whole conversation needs to end. I’ve got patients with real problems that need attending to,” she said, getting ready to hang up. Justin laughed out loud and put the phone back in its cradle. For some reason, he felt better after that phone call. Even though nothing was resolved, he was able to get some of his thoughts off his chest and let Daphne know how he felt. He felt so much better he actually was hungry, something he hadn’t been in a while. He picked up the house intercom and buzzed Max in the kitchen. “Hey, Mr. J,” Max answered. “You need anything?” “Yes…food! What’s for lunch?” “Well, let’s see. I’ve got some grilled chicken breasts with some Chipotle sauce on Foccacia bread and a fresh fruit salad. Or you can have a Cuban sandwich. I’ve got some left-over pork from the other night that I can use for that. Or how about a Cobb or Waldorf salad. Does any of that sound good?” “Christ, Max! Can’t anyone get a bowl of Cheerios or a PB & J around here?” “Sure you can, but who the hell would want that?” “I guess nobody,” Justin laughed when he heard Max’s statement. “I’ll have whatever the boys are having.” “That would be the Chicken, with the fruit salad, oh, and fried sweet potatoes, I forgot to mention.” “Oh my God! That’s another inch on my waist for sure, Max. I’ll be right down.” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Max put the intercom down and went back to preparing lunch. He was on automatic mode, slicing and dicing, throwing things together without really concentrating on what he was doing. His mind was too full of Emmett and last night. Emmett had taken him out to dinner, to a restaurant he had been to before but was new to Max. It was a Moroccan place on the outskirts of town. They had walked into an atmosphere that was wonderfully foreign and the smells of the food were exotic and enticing. The tables were all low to the ground and there were no chairs at all, only big, soft pillows that were strewn all over the place. The waiters were dressed in soft diaphanous pants, and short colorful beaded vests over their shirtless chests. They were young and buff and were obviously picked for their looks since each one was more attractive than the next. Emmett had selected all the food, something Max found refreshing as his dates always deferred to him, assuming that because he was a Chef, he would know best. It was nice to be with someone who was secure enough in his own skin, who knew what he wanted and was comfortable with offering his suggestions and advice regardless whether it had to do with food or not. Their waiter brought them several dishes but no utensils at all. Max remembered going to a similar restaurant many years ago when he was still in school. At that time, he was surprised that all the food was supposed to be eaten by hand with only the help of the flat bread that was used as a scoop. He remembered how he and his classmates had found the whole thing funny as hell and what started out as a learning experience turned into a food fight with all of them laughing their heads off and making a huge mess. Tonight was an entirely different experience altogether. He and Emmett were a little awkward at first, getting used to picking up the food with the bread, but once they had mastered it, the whole dinner had turned into a sensuous and erotic bit of foreplay. It was an incredible turn on, watching Emmett eat, licking his fingers after each bite. They fed each other small portions, stopping in between each nibble to kiss and whisper words of love while staring into each other’s eyes. It was romantic and mysterious, made even more so by the darkness of the surroundings and the strange beer they were consuming. It had a much higher alcohol level then most beers and was causing a definite buzz much sooner than was normal. In the middle of the dinner, Emmett had leaned over to whisper that there was going to be a performance, something a little out of the ordinary, and he hoped that Max wouldn’t mind. Since Max had no idea what he was talking about he nodded happily and said it would be fine. The lights were dimmed and soon the music changed into something even more sensual, a combination of drums and cymbals with a whining horn of some sort in the background. A couple came out dressed in colorful, sheer, billowy pants, reminiscent of a genie in a bottle. The man was shirtless , tanned and oiled slightly so that each muscle glistened as it rippled with every movement. He had the six pack that one could only achieve through endless abdominal repetitions, an exercise that Max found particularly difficult and tedious. The woman with him had the same pants but her bra top was tight and pressed her breasts together so that there was some overflow on top. She too was tanned and oiled and had beautiful long, black hair, almost down to her waist. Her eyes were heavily made up and her lips were the standard glossed, pouty things that people had come to expect. They began to dance, slowly and sensuously, moving their bodies to the rhythm of the music that was still soft and tender almost, causing them to sway and turn, moving closer but never touching. Max could feel himself getting drawn into the dance as he watched the couple performing in front of him, enticing each other with their movements yet staying away, wanting to move closer but pulling back each time. The music slowly increased in tempo and volume, even as the dancers moved closer. Max could feel himself floating now, he was definitely high, having consumed two more beers. Emmett was now sitting behind him instead of in front and he had positioned the pillows so that Max was leaning against him, reclining on his chest yet upright enough so that he could still watch the dancing. He felt Emmett’s hand moving up and down his legs as he watched the dancers get closer. The music got much louder, the tempo quickening, the drums and the cymbals pushing the rhythm forward, even as the dancers moved closer, writhing against each other, hands gliding over arms and shoulders, groins moving together, rubbing then pulling back. Max could feel himself getting hard, he could feel Emmett’s hand moving up his leg getting closer and closer to his cock then moving away, like the dancers on the floor. The man was beautiful under the spotlight, tanned and sculpted, shiny, smooth and hairless. Max wanted to reach out and touch him. Grabbing Emmett’s hand instead, he moved it up to rest on his groin as he felt his hard-on straining against his pants. Emmett was more than willing to oblige him, kissing his ear and slowly rubbing outside his pants, pulling his zipper down inch by painful inch, dragging this out as much as he could. Max’s lower body was under the table covered by the table cloth so no one was aware of the action going on underneath as Emmett caressed and massaged him. The female dancer had moved close enough to place a hand on the male’s waistband and as the drums continued their beating and the cymbals clinked in unison, she yanked at his pants, ripping them off, leaving him in nothing but a g-string. He had the most gorgeous ass that Max had seen in a while. Max could feel his breathing changing and before he could even adjust to this new development the music started going crazy, even as the dancing got more frenzied and before a stunned audience, the male ripped off the female’s top, exposing not breasts but another set of beautiful male pecs that had been theatrically positioned to fool everyone. In a minute his pants were ripped off his body, exposing his hugely endowed package. The collective gasps were audible as the dancers switched from a dance to an all out sexual act. The music reached its crescendo, while the couple rutted on the stage and Emmett’s hand finally worked its way into Max’s pants and gently surrounded his penis which was now weeping with precum, begging for release. He came in Emmett’s hand as he watched the couple come on stage, his eyes glued to the scene, mesmerized and caught up in the whole erotic, decadent performance, something he had never seen in his life. Emmett held him close and whispered, “Tell me you don’t think I’m wicked for bringing you here. I wasn’t sure if you went for this sort of thing.” Max grabbed Emmett and kissed him deeply, giving him the only answer he needed. Max jumped as he was rudely pulled out of his reverie by the burning oil that splattered onto his fingers. He didn’t even remember putting the pan on the range or throwing the sweet potatoes in the hot oil. All he was thinking about was last night. The pressure he was now feeling in his groin area was a constant reminder of the fact that Emmett Honeycutt was so much in his blood and completely owned him. Jesus fucking Christ…get a grip, Max told himself as he shook his head and tried desperately to remember where he was and what he was doing. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Brian sat back in his chair, staring at the computer screen in front of him but not really seeing anything. His mind was on Justin and the whole ridiculous scene he had come home to. As it turned out, Fuzzy was in fact a throw-back to the Neanderthal, but a very knowledgeable one when it came to body building. He knew his shit, so Brian was willing to overlook his appearance. His daughter Tiffany, on the other hand, was something else. She definitely was in the porn-star category, appearance wise. She had long blond hair, lips that were enhanced with some tissue-building chemical, and triple D implants on a size two body. She must have been seventeen or eighteen, going on forty! He watched her briefly as she went over the basics with Gus and Austin and he determined that she would serve the purpose for the few weeks that he would need her. She seemed to know the basics of the sport and her backhand was pretty good. She would work, as far as he was concerned. The big challenge would be keeping Gus and Austin in a flaccid state while she was around. Highly unlikely he thought to himself with a big smile on his face. Just then Justin poked his head in the door of his office and said, “I’m going down to have lunch. You want to come?” “Sunshine,” Brian said, turning his chair around and facing the door, “You know better than to ask me if I want to come.” “I didn’t mean that, you dork, and you know it,” Justin said crossing over to Brian’s desk and standing in front of him. “What were you smiling about anyway?” “Oh nothing,” Brian said. “I was just thinking about the fact that you continue to surprise me, even after being together for fifteen years. You can still say shit that completely comes out of left field.” “Like what?” Justin asked. “Oh, this whole Wa thing for instance. Where do you come up with this crap?” “Oh, it’s in the deep recesses of my brilliant mind,” Justin answered, moving a little closer so that he was now standing between Brian’s legs. “Besides, it’s always good to hold back a few things from your lover, to keep your relationship interesting and exciting.” “Where the hell did you read that?” Brian asked smiling up at him. “In Cosmopolitan Magazine,” Justin answered, smiling right back. “Every girl’s guide to making her man happy.” “Now, that is even too gay for me, Sunshine.” “You know, this is the second time in the last half hour that someone has called me Gay. I’m beginning to think I’m turning into a big Nelly queen,” Justin said, jutting his hip out and putting his hand on it for effect. “Hate to tell you sweetheart,” Brian said, pulling Justin’s head down so that he whispered in his ear, “You are.” “Well, fuck you, my big macho guy!” Justin straddled Brian’s lap and put his arms around his neck. He bent forward and whispered, “How about we play a little game of Bill and Monica, so that I can practice more of the tips I learned in Cosmo; Fellatio, 101.” “Yeah,” Brian said, his eyes lighting up. He pushed Justin off his lap then down on his knees making room with his chair so that Justin scooted underneath his desk, hidden from view. He then turned his chair around to face the computer and Justin, and waited for him to get down to business. He felt his zipper being pulled down and Justin reaching in to pull out his dick which was rigid and waiting impatiently for the warm, wet mouth to do unspeakable damage. He sighed and put his head back on the head rest, loving every minute that Justin took, feeling his lips close around him, knowing his tongue would start its wicked moves, alternately licking and sucking, just the way he liked it. He was so close, much too soon. He couldn’t stop the moans, his breathing was becoming erratic, he moved his hips back and forth as Justin fucked him with his mouth, torturing him, drawing out every pull and push, sucking underneath his shaft, making little circles around the head of his penis then taking him in deeply, almost to the base, making the little noises in his throat that drove Brain completely insane. He gripped the arms of the chair as he finally let himself go, spurting into Justin’s mouth, lost in the sensations while Justin swallowed, creating unbelievable pleasure. At that very moment, the door of his office opened and Gus stuck his head in. The combination of Justin’s swallowing and the instant rush of adrenaline coursing through his body due to Gus’ surprise entrance made him have the most intense orgasm he’d had in a very long time. Everything stopped in that instant. Brian’s head felt like it was going to explode; his eyes were completely glazed over, his mouth open and taking in little gulps of air. His heart was racing as he felt the waves of the orgasm sweeping over him leaving him weak and disoriented. It took every ounce of discipline for him to turn his head in Gus’ direction and say in a nonchalant voice, “What’s up, son?” Justin was frozen underneath the desk, paralyzed with fear, hoping that Gus couldn’t see him. He still had his mouth around Brian, his hand around his own erection, feeling it go limp instantly. “Nothing Dad. I was told to come get you guys. Max said lunch is ready. Where’s ‘DJ’?” “I have no idea, Gus. Maybe he’s in his studio,” Brian said, trying desperately to regain his composure. His face was flushed and there were little dots of perspiration along his forehead. He was still breathing heavily and he could feel his heart racing like he had just run a marathon. Gus looked at him and smiled. It was an all too familiar smile, one that Brian had seen on his own face, staring back at him in the mirror. The all-knowing, shit-eating grin that only Brian Kinney had. It was now staring right back at him. “Well, lunch is ready,” Gus said again. “So I’ll see you downstairs in a minute, oh and ‘DJ’,” Gus said, looking down at the white tennis shoes that were sticking out from beneath the desk, “Max said to hurry up, before the food gets cold.” He turned and closed the door behind him, laughing out loud as he did so. “Little shit,” Brian said, as he pulled Justin up from underneath the desk. “He almost ruined one of the most perfect blowjobs I’ve had in a long time.” “Oh my God,” Justin said, collapsing on Brian’s chest. “I almost choked on your dick when I heard his voice!” TBC