Timeless Part 2 ------------------------------------------------------ Day three: "Brian, Brian" Justin pulled himself upright looking around in the gloom wondering where he was, finally realizing he was in Brian's office. The past forty eight hours returning to his memory with a shudder. He felt Brian here but he needed to do something positive before he started to lose his mind completely. The dreams were vivid and heart wrenching he dreaded sleeping now as much as staying awake. If it didn't stop he'd have to find someone to help him. Justin lovingly placed the framed photo back on the table. "We'll put another here soon - something more recent Baby" He wandered around the office touching things that Brian had touched. Feeling his lover in all the things around him - Justin knew he had to move on. Brian needed him more than ever. Closing his eyes and sighing, "Hold on Baby, I'll find you, I'll never stop looking, hold on that's all I ask." Justin's mind repeated this mantra over and over a hundred times a thousand times as he walked out of the office and back to Detective Horvath's office. He started down the street as his phone rang. Fumbling in his hurry to answer it Justin barely managed to flip it open. "Hello" he was too loud and concentrated on calming down. "Hello?" "Mr. Taylor, this is Alex from the hotel. I heard on the news that search planes are being sent out this morning. Thought you'd want to know." "Thanks Alex, I appreciate the call." There was no point in seeing Horvath, he would only tell him about the search. He needed to go back to the loft to shower and change, but the lonely space was just that - space - without Brian. He needed to finish the ring before the weekend in order to be graded. As well, he had the rest of the pieces to complete the initial stages. Justin continued down the street turning an unfamiliar corner on the way to what he figured would be a short cut to PIFA. A display in the window of an antique shop caught his attention. Centered in the window was a large ginger jar covered with an amazing scene. Beautiful peonies in the softest of rose pinks shaded with burgundy, the greens in the leaves made you feel that real flowers had been magically blended in the porcelain. Justin felt a sense of dj vu as he visually traced the path the brushes must have taken so many years ago. He could feel the heat of the kilns at his back, the strain in his muscles from sitting in one spot too long, the longing in his heart for his forbidden love. He had been standing frozen in time staring in the window for more than fifteen minutes when he became aware of an old woman standing beside him. History lines creased her face, her eyes became lost in their folds as she looked up at him and smiled. "It is very beautiful" she said "It's amazing.. "Very, very old, been in my family for ever." "Is it for sale?" "Never for sale, it is to go back to the artist." "But you said it was old." "Yes, more than seventeen hundred years. Life has been kind to our family, we have been able to care for this love token all this time. But I am the last. The artist will have this wonderful piece returned before the month is gone." "You're going to bury it?" "No, young man, come into my store and have some tea. The legend of the ginger jar will be told." "I can't stop.... I.." The lady held his arm and gently steered Justin to the doorway. " The artist's lover came to me last night and told me to place this love token in my window. I see now that I was right to do as he asked." While he knew that he needed to get to PIFA, Justin couldn't resist the pull of the ginger jar and the curiosity he felt to know the legend around the artist. He allowed himself to be led into the shop and directed to a soft chair placed so he could gaze at the jar. "My name is Jiao, the daughter of the daughter many times from the artist. Sit while I prepare the tea." Justin sat his eyes never leaving the jar, mesmerized by the swirl of color highlighted by the morning sun shining through the window. He could see out a low window into a summer garden, hundreds of peonies swaying in a soft breeze, the sound of bees lazily visiting the flowers in the summer sun. He watched small gray cat stalk a blue butterfly, pouncing and missing it's prey. He could feel the wood of the brush handle in his hand as stroke after careful stroke the paint was added to the porcelain jar. The smell of the porcelain dust that was disturbed by the hem of his robe tickled his nostrils. His heart was heavy with longing for his forbidden lover to return to the district. Anticipating the wonder and lust that would come from a stolen kiss, a gentle touch, a kind word from the man he loved. "Love is wonderful and yet can cause much pain. I understand young man. I too was young once. Few though, will know the kind of love that survives the ages. Only the kindness of the Gods allow that kind of love to exist. You are one of the very few who will know their soul mate." The old lady handed Justin a small cup of tea and indicated the plate of tiny cakes and cookies she had placed on a low table in front of the chair. "I'm sorry, Ma'm, I don't understand." "What's your name young man?" "Justin Taylor I'm a student at PIFA." "Ahh, a young artist, am I correct?" "Yes." "You are in love but you are troubled." "Brian is missing, his plane went down in Alaska a couple of days ago. He's hurt and I can't find him." Justin's eyes filled and he struggled to remain calm. "I can feel him, yet not, it's kind of hard to explain." "It isn't necessary, I know what you are feeling. Sit back in your chair young man and let Jiao tell you the story of two lovers from long ago and why the ginger jar represents their love." As the old lady sat back in her chair, a small gray wolf came out from the back room and lay down at her feet. "Don't mind my little one, she too is old and the last of her family. She only asks for love and scratches." Jiao reached down and scratched the old one behind the ears. "Isn't that a wolf?" "Some might call her wolf, I call her my sister and my friend. Her ancestors have traveled with mine throughout the years. It's time we went home." Jiao caressed the soft fur. "Our job will be completed soon my friend." She whispered. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Pangs of hunger that were becoming increasingly insistent roused Brian from his dreams. He lay on the hard stone ledge keeping his eyes closed in the hope that the dream he'd been having would continue. He remembered the harsh pain of his heart breaking with the death of his lover and the next he knew he was in a bounteous garden filled with large pink and burgundy flowers, buzzing bees and summer sun. Anticipating stolen minutes with the man he loved. He peered through the trees looking into the studio windows catching glimpse of his beautiful young lover. His wonderful, long black hair tied back at the nape of his neck, his lips full and red, like cherries. Bingrong could taste the sweetness of his lips he could feel their soft strength moving down his body. Brian, sighed, enough of dream worlds he thought, Justin can dream, he needed to live. Looking into the gloom of the cave he saw the pack sleeping or sitting and watching him. "Hey, pups, how's it going?" He absentmindedly scratched his arms then looked down at the welts developing. "Guys, when did the Orkin man visit last? I think I have fleas." Brian started to giggle. "Could be worse, could be crabs eh?" He looked around noticing the duffel bags had appeared in the cave. "Did you guys tip the bellman?" Brian pulled himself off the ledge and moved over to the bags. "Any food left in here, maybe some Beam, quava juice or water would be nice." He dug around in the bags bringing out pouches, slightly worse for the wear. Looked at the freeze dried rations deciding on just how hungry he was. Nothing look very good. The growls of his stomach made the decision for him. "Nummy, freeze dried broccoli and noodles. You know boys, Justin would make this taste good, so good I'd want more. Where is that little stalker when you need him?" He opened the package and looked at the unappetizing contents. "I don't know, even Justin would find this shit a challenge." He reached in a pulled out a piece putting it in his mouth and tried to chew it. "Christ." He spit it out and this time started to read the directions. "Add water and heat." He looked around. "I can probably find some water, but the microwave is on the fritz." He tossed the package to one side and lay back down, his arm across his forehead. "Justin, I am fucked. I knew from the start I shouldn't go to Alaska, but something in my head said go. I cannot believe I'm doing this to you again. You don't need this pain. Every time things start to go great some fucker up there kicks us in the nuts. If they ever find my body, will you know how much I loved you? Will you know that the only thing that kept me going as long as I last is the thought of being in your arms again?" Brian felt tears streaking his cheeks. "Will you know I cried for you?" He allowed himself the luxury of slipping into the sun filled dream he'd had in the early morning. Sinking into the remembered pleasure of forgotten times. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Kong Bingrong stood in the garden and remembered the first time he laid eyes on his lover. It was hard to believe that it was less than a year ago he'd been seated beside the Prince, watching a theatre troop perform for the Prince's birthday celebrations. He hadn't really been paying attention to the play and to this day he couldn't remember anything about it. From behind the red curtains appeared the most beautiful person he had ever seen. Dressed in white robes edged in gold, traditional black wig, black eyes flashing with passion Bingrong was unable to take his eyes off the handsome actor. To this day he couldn't remember what the play was about, yet he could remember every move that was made by Tai Jieshi. It took more than two weeks to arrange a meeting. As the Prince's Chief of Staff, he had to be discrete, no scandal was too small in that it could affect the Prince. He had been surprised to find that Jieshi lived in the next county and was a famous artist in his own right. He arranged to visit Jieshi in his studio on the pretext of purchasing a gift for his main wife. Bingrong would never forget walking through the gated wall into the flower laden garden surrounding the studio. Sitting by the open window light from the sun hallowing his head sat Tai Jieshi. Dressed in paint spattered peasants clothing and humming a tune from the play, the young man applied paint to porcelain dish. Bingrong stood watching unwilling to disturb him when Jieshi feeling eyes watching looked up and into the dark pools that were Bingrong's eyes. "I saw you perform for the Prince, Tai Jieshi." "I saw you watching Kong Bingrong." "You never let me know this." "I am an actor, I act." "I had to see you." "Look long and hard, for it will be the last time." "Why?" "You know why, we are connected through our souls, but in this life reuniting is forbidden. Perhaps next time my love." "It may be forbidden, but it can't be wrong." "Kong Bingrong, you are married, you have children, you have a position in the Prince's house. You are the perfect Chinese man. Yet you would risk this for a summer's moment with another man?" "A kiss, I can hold your kiss in my memory for eternity. A touch, a gentle touch for me to feel when I lie beside my wife of twelve years wishing I was with you." "To see this handsome man humble himself before me for a kiss or a touch stirs my heart in ways you cannot imagine." Bingrong, moved closer to his beloved, close enough that Jieshi's sweet breath stirred the stray hairs on his forehead. "Are we alone?" "Only the Gods can see us." Barely moving, their lips connected in a chaste kiss, as their eyes met the kiss of friends passing turned to fiery passion. "This is forbidden." Breathed Jieshi. "Forbidden" he continued as his hand involuntarily pushed aside the robes exposing the swollen member of his guest. "Forbidden" as he pulled Bingrong to the pillow strewn bed on the wall of the studio. "Forbidden" and their clothing disappeared onto the floor eager hands touching, feeling, tongues tasting. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Is your tea all right? Would you like a cookie, a cake?" "Everything is fine." Justin took a sip of his tea barely able to tolerate the seconds it took away from looking at the small ginger jar. "The jar is wonderful. It was made as a declaration of unselfish love by a young artist for the man he loved then and would love through eternity." Jiao sat back in her chair, finding some comfort in the telling of the story that had been told and retold countless times in the past seventeen hundred years. "The artist Tai Jieshi, lived in China about 250 AD, I'm not absolutely sure of this year, but it is close enough for the story to be told. He was a talented artist and quite famous in the part of China where he lived. As a young man of independent means, he did not have to follow the requests of most families and marry to bring money into the family. A fact he was often grateful for as he was not attracted to women but found men more to his liking. Now in China at that time and in this time too, relationships between two people of the same sex was forbidden. Punishment was disgrace for the people involved as well as their families and of course death." She smiled sympathetically at Justin. " Tai Jieshi was content to live in his small house surrounded by a walled garden. He had his art, for he was an accomplished artisan and was becoming famous for his floral work on porcelain. When he wanted the company of other people he would join his friends who had an acting company and perform skits and plays for the wealthy landowners in the area. But mostly he would sit and draw or paint his flowers and dream of his true love. You see, Jieshi, knew that he was one half of a whole - that his soul had traveled through the ages together with that of another. Now when this happens, of course, each time one of the souls returns from the Great Star Nation, they don't always meet. But if one is very lucky and considered deserving by the Gods, then the two souls join again and they can continue their journey to completion eventually returning to the Great Star Nation as one soul." Jiao reached down and sipped her tea, watching with interest Justin's reaction to the story. "How did Ji..eshi" Justin hesitated over the name. "How did he know he had a soul mate out there somewhere?" "How does anyone know anything, my boy? You know your heart isn't complete without one more part. You long for that special touch remembered in the far reaches of your mind. Liaisons with others don't bring the pleasure or satisfaction that you want or need." "Does he meet his true love?" Justin was intrigued with the mystery of the story. "This is how the story goes, how my mother told me and her mother told her for as long as can be thought." She shut her eyes remembering the words and then began once again. "Jieshi heard that the Prince was having a birthday celebration and because he was curious about the decorations in the Prince's home he persuaded his friends to perform a small play as part of the celebration. As soon as he entered the hall where the play was to be performed he knew that the love of his life was in the audience." "Did he see him?" "No at first he felt the stirring of his soul and then the pounding of his heart. He was of course well trained in the art of performing and no indication of his turmoil appeared on his face. He didn't dare look into the audience for fear their eyes would meet and the whole court would know something was happening. Jieshi continued with the play holding himself in with remarkable control vowing to find his soul mate eventually." "I guess he found him eh?" "Yes, the next week Jieshi asked friends and members of the court about the people who had attended the performance gradually narrowing down the prospects. Imagine how disappointed he was to find his soul mate to be one of the highest ranking members of the Royal Court, the assistant to the Prince, a married man with many children." "What did he do?" "Nothing, Tai Jieshi was an honorable man and deeply spiritual. He knew that it wasn't meant to be in this life that the two of them reunite. You understand Justin, everyone is given free will, it's what you do throughout your life interacting with others that will determine the next step in your soul's evolution." "You mean like Karma and Reincarnation?" "That's right. Tai Jieshi's heart and soul belonged to Kong Bingrong, but in this life it would never be. Even with the fact that homosexual relationships were forbidden by Chinese law, Jieshi would never have disturbed the balance of harmony that was to be found in Bingrong's house. The moments of pleasure would forever be shadowed by the hurt and heart break of others." "So they never met?" "I didn't say that. Like most love stories this one has an unhappy ending. But you can't really call it an ending, for it is only a pause in time, I for one am confident that the ending of this love story will be a happy one." Jiao carefully got up from her chair, her tired bones creaking, "I'll make some more tea and then we'll continue the story my young one. The artist put a bit of magic in his work as well as all the love his young heart had. Look at the ginger jar, will the jar reveal it's secrets to you?" she smiled as she walked into the back room, walking so quietly that only the wolf's eyes following gave any indication where she went. Justin's eyes stayed on the ginger jar, silhouetted now in the mid morning sun. Taking in every detail, his mind retreating unnoticed into the ancient past. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Brian, wake up. Brian, wake up." Sam's voice was loud and harsh in Brian's ears as he sat up in the gloomy cave. "I'm up, and where in hell have you been? This little one hour tour sucks, and I don't even have Gilligan for comic relief, much less the Professor." Brian absently scratched. "I don't remember the island having such a blood thirsty bunch of bugs either. Do you realize Sam, if we ever get rescued, found or whatever, I'm going to have to hide under a blanket `cause me skin's gonna look like shit." Brian peered at the flying insects in the air circling him and the pack of wolves. "The fuckin' mosquito's are as big as birds up here." "Brian, you don't have the luxury of sitting there bitching about the bugs. Your head injury isn't looking all that good, kind of green around the edges. You have to find the first aid kit and you need to keep drinking the water. I know the rations aren't the best but if you ever want to see Justin again, you need to eat." "Thanks a whole bunch for reminding me about my head, now that I've been reminded it hurts like hell." Brian stands up and starts to sway. "I have to tell you Sam, this business of you hiding is getting on my nerves. I'm in the freaking middle of no where and you're playing hide and seek. Come on puppies, old Sam wants us to find the first aid kit." He starts to empty the various bags that have been dragged into the cave. "Sam, even if this first aid kit turns up, without Justin here to help me what in hell am I supposed to do with it. Justin always looks after me if I'm hurt or sick. My remedy of a bottle of Beam and a couple of aspirins doesn't seem to be in order here." Brian sits down abruptly, the jarring of his spine shooting painful bullets through his head. He looks around the cave entrance ruefully, too weak to pull the first aid kit over to him. The largest of the wolves watches and then gets up and noses the kit towards Brian until he finally can pull it onto his lap. "Thanks Scooby, your breath may not be the best, but you're a good friend." He looks around, his vision swirling and hazy. "Sam old buddy, come out come out where ever you are. Scooby gave me the kit, now what?" "Open it up and see if there is a bottle of peroxide there." Brian fumbled with the zipper and finally was able to open the kit, spilling most of the contents as the top flipped open. He rummaged around and was rewarded with a bottle of peroxide. "Found it, now what?" He could almost hear Justin's voice mocking him "Well, duh, use your brain Kinney. You have a head injury that appears to be infected, you have a bottle of peroxide, connect the dots." Brian didn't want to spill the bottle and he was pretty sure what would happen when the stuff hit his wounded head, night night time again. He fished out a small eye cup from the kit and poured some of the peroxide in it, set it down and carefully closed the lid on the bottle. This time he lay back down carefully putting his head on a piece of a duffle bag using it as a makeshift pillow. "Here goes nothing Sunshine, I love you and if we ever see each other again, I'm telling you that a hundred times a day. It's a promise Sonny Boy and Brian Kinney doesn't break his promises." Keeping his head tilted back he lifted the peroxide and carefully poured it on the open wound in his forehead allowing himself to fade into blackness as the peroxide bubbled and hissed. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jieshi was in his thoughts every second of every day. He couldn't concentrate on anything. His wife and children were upset with him and his disinterest with their home life. Every chance he had he would come through the garden gate and watch his love work in the little studio. The hours he spent there drinking in the sight of Jieshi helped keep him sane. Jieshi hadn't allowed the two of them to consummate their love since that first time and the build up of pain he felt when thinking of him was becoming harder and harder to stand. He had made a decision, if Jieshi would allow it, they would leave the area, perhaps travel to the Japans or maybe on the other side of China where no one would know them and they could begin a life there together. He would talk to Jieshi today, make his listen. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Placing a fresh pot of tea on the table, the old woman smiled watching Justin unconsciously trace the centers of the flowers, the gold forming Chinese words - in the air. "Are you ready to continue the story?" Justin visibly pulled himself together and looked at this kind woman and smiled. "You have my full attention Jiao, your story seems so real." "Of course, because it happened and is happening. Now where was I?" "You were telling me that two lovers met finally. Did they recognize their love, did it make them happy?" "One day as Jieshi was working in his studio the quickening of his heart told him that his true love was near. He looked up to see all that he had hoped to see reflected in the eyes of the man he loved. He tried his best to resist, but the pull of lust was too strong and the two of them united that day as they had thousands of times before." "So they became lovers. What did the community say where they lived?" "No, not lovers in the sense you mean. Their love was forbidden and both were well aware of this. Jieshi, though small of stature and gentle of nature was the stronger of the two men and would not let this lust for each other come into play again. Bingrong began to stop by and watch Jieshi work in his studio, they would talk and laugh quickly becoming friends. Both of them ached deep inside because they couldn't touch each other, dared not even let lips brush casually against an arm or cheek." "That must have been hell for both of them." "Yes, it was hell in one form, but remember Justin, this was a different time from what is known now. Discipline was expected in ones life. Jieshi would have it no other way. Now Bingrong, though he was tall and muscular a formidable man in the Royal Court, was in his heart unable to do with only a taste of his true love. The memories of their stolen afternoon haunted him, teased him with ideas of more. He began making plans for the two of them to leave the area and start fresh somewhere else. His mind had only one direction even though he knew better he was letting his heart pull him away from his position in life and his family." "We're coming to the bad part, aren't we?" "We're coming to the part that shows the strength of character of both men. A strength of character that has allowed them to be reunited again and again while they learn from their mistakes." Jiao sat back once more and shut her eyes, seeing the scene unfold and retelling the story to Justin. "Tai Jieshi had to leave his soul mate, hard as that decision was. He could not allow the love they had to be tainted by causing pain in Bingrong's home. It took him more than a month of working as he painstakingly painted the jar you see. He painted his love in every stroke and like I said he wove magic into it. On the day the jar was completed Jieshi took his own life, leaving instructions for his ashes to be placed in the jar. Bingrong had been traveling with the Prince to the capital city. He returned to find the jar sitting beside his bed on a low table. His wife unaware of Bingrong's shattering heart told him how the young artist had taken his life for no reason and left the ginger jar in Bingrong's care. Legend has it that for more than a week Bingrong sat in his bedchamber holding the small jar in his hands, his face emotionless, his eyes dead. On the last day one of the servants opened the window of the room letting the sunlight in and a beam of light landed on the jar in Bingrong's hand. Bingrong kept staring at the jar and turning it over and over in his hands becoming more and more animated until finally he placed it on the table his laughter an unfamiliar rumble while tears fell like pearls. He never said anymore about Jieshi. The jar stayed by his bed until the day he died and on that last day he called his eldest daughter in, for he had no sons, and told her the story asking that she add his ashes to the jar keeping the jar handing it on to her eldest daughter until the artist who made it returns." "How can the artist return? And if he did how would the keeper of the jar know it was the right person? I mean a jar this beautiful and old must be worth a lot of money." "The jar holds a secret, when Bingrong finally discovered the secret so long ago he was able to live the rest of that life in peace knowing that someday the Karmic circle would be complete. The artist will know the secret of the jar." "Can I touch it? I'll be careful." "Of course my boy." Jiao took the jar out of the window, holding it with both hands and carefully placing it in Justin's eager hands. Justin was amazed at the delicacy of the porcelain and the detail of the flowers. He began to talk "Look, Jiao, Jieshi has written how he feels about his lover in each flower." His finger began to trace the gold Chinese words that had been cleverly disguised in the center of each Peony. Here he tells him that his love is deeper than the sea, here the touch of his lips burn kisses into his soul, here how the demons of the night vanish when they sleep together" Justin continued discovering all the secrets of Jieshi's love so long ago. Completely unaware that he was translating ancient Chinese writing as if it was an English essay written yesterday. Jiao, sat in her chair smiling to herself. Jieshi's lover had been right, the jar would be returned to it's rightful owner. Finally, Justin realized with the fading light that he had visited in this little shop the entire day. It was with reluctance he put the jar back in the window. He said his goodbyes and kissed the old lady on her cheek. He felt he was leaving a piece of himself behind but it was time to get back to the loft. The loft didn't seem all that bad now for some reason, he needed to shower and to eat. Hopefully, some of the phone calls he would make will bring results and Brian will be just that much closer to being found. He walked back to the loft, his step lighter than it had been, unaware of the silent gray form following behind, keeping him safe from any harm that might befall him on his walk home through the city streets. Justin let himself in the door, sliding it shut with a bank. "Hi Baby, I'm home" he called hoping he would be answered. His step faltered a bit when no answer came back. He started to walk towards the bedroom, removing his clothes, heading for the shower when he noticed a brown paper wrapped parcel sitting of the table. He didn't think anyone else had a key anymore. He and Brian had changed the locks after having Michael walk in on them once too often. He looked at it and saw it as addressed to him in Brian's writing. The postmarks were foreign, Brian must have sent it when he went to Asia last month. Justin carefully opened the parcel, taking note of all the fragile stickers. Inside, nestled in straw was a wooden box. He lifted it out and opened it. The box had been specially made to hold it's contents without jostling. The very ginger jar that had been in his hands was in the box. The colors glowing in the dim lights of the loft. A note was in with the straw. He unfolded it seeing Brian's writing. Baby, I saw this jar in the window of a small shop here in Beijing and knew right away it had to be yours. The lady who owned the shop must have agreed as she let me have it in return for taking her out to dinner. She told me an amazing story about the jar, I'll tell it to you when I get home. A bedside story for my very special Baby. Love and Kisses B PS. Close your mouth, I do have one or two ridiculously romantic moments still left in me. Justin, gently put the jar back in it's special box and quickly left the loft determined to discover what this mystery was all about. He raced back to the street where the antique shop was heading towards the door. He stopped and looked around, he must have missed the street, nothing was familiar, no shops antique or otherwise, just a quiet residential street. He walked up to the main road and went down the block to the next side street, no antique store. He walked all the way back to Brian's office building and began to retrace his steps. By midnight, he was exhausted and knew without a doubt that there was no antique store. He felt he was losing his mind. He reached the loft door and opened it expecting the worst. The loft was the same as when he left, the lights on and the parcel sitting on the table light reflecting off the gold in the flowers. Kicking his shoes off he sat on the chaise after turning it towards the vase. Exhaustion over took his mind and he began to drift off to sleep, tired and sweaty, and hungry. As sleep over took him he could feel Brian's hands smoothing back his hair from his sweat streaked forehead, his lips kissing him gently, his strong arms holding him tight to his chest. "I love you Brian" he whispered. Faintly he could hear Brian whisper back "Always and forever Baby, I'll love you." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------