Boys of Summer
Part 1
Notes: Every now and then - in between my regular AU realities - the doors to another dimension slip open and we can catch a glimpse of our favorite boys in that reality.
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
For the very first time in his twenty nine almost thirty years Brian Kinney was not only away from Pittsburgh, but away from his family, his friends and his job. He had spent a lifetime working toward this day. His childhood had been filled with summer jobs, after school jobs and then university time had seen him with countless Mcjobs as he liked to refer to them.
Returning to the Pitts, he worked sixty or more hours a week with rarely any time off. Now since he won the advertiser of the year award, since his mortgage on his loft was paid off, he was going to take an entire two and a half months for himself.
He couldn’t believe the amount of flak he’d taken from his friend Michael about not only taking the time but taking it away from Pittsburgh and the rest of the gang. He refused to tell them where he was going. He didn’t need any unexpected visits from well meaning friends as they each took their two weeks vacation. He was turning twenty nine soon; his friend from the university was pregnant with his child, so even though he had insisted that he not be included in the child’s birth, he knew he’d be sucked in sooner or later. Hopefully later rather than sooner as he was by no means ready to be a father.
He sat in the plane now as it swerved out over the ocean preparing to land at Vancouver International Airport. He could see a few small islands off in the distance and he wondered which one was the one he was staying on. At first when Marty Ryder offered him the use of his family home on South Winchelsea Island off the coast of Canada, Brian had thought he was joking. He couldn’t imagine going to such a remote spot at the best of times. It was accessible only by Water Taxi and was completely private. But it seemed that this summer home was something of coup for anyone to be offered its use. Marty assured him that it was perfectly well appointed; every thing was modern and up to date. He should have the house to himself. This year was his sister’s turn for the house, someone called Jennifer Taylor, and due to a family problem she was unable to use it. If Brian didn’t take it then it would be empty as Marty had already made his own summer plans.
So Brian found himself on a Liberty Air jet about to land in Canada. He’d only brought two suitcases with clothes as well as his favorite CD’s and a few books. Marty assured him that while it was somewhat off the beaten track, the water taxi ran between the mainland and the island when ever you needed it during the day. He wouldn’t be completely stranded if he should want some civilization. He assured him that he would arrange for the small home to be fully stocked with food to begin his vacation comfortably.
The five hour flight across the continent was tiring, but not when compared to finding his way from the large international airport to the ferry terminal. He’d just missed the sailing and ended up cooling his heels in a waiting area for more than two hours before finally he boarded the ferry and headed to the island only to find out that once he reached Schartz Bay on Vancouver Island he then had to make his way to Nanaimo before he could take a water taxi to his own little piece of paradise. After a lengthy trip in a small rusty boat he found himself on the front porch of a small ocean front cottage. He located the key where Marty had told him it was hidden, opened the door depositing his bags inside. He had no idea why there would be a key when no one else was even on the small island. He stood on the porch looking out onto the water dotted with other specks of land. He realized that this was most definitely going to be an unusual vacation. Maybe he’d begin a journal. He looked with longing at the lights on the horizon, he figured those were probably the lights from the city of Nanaimo. When he could no longer stand the isolation, he could retreat there and regroup. Of course picking up a trick wouldn’t be bad either.
He barely could see where he was going, his head ached so bad, probably from lack of nicotine. Who would have guessed Canadians wouldn’t allow smoking in any public place not even the ferry. And don’t even try to buy a drink, because it just wasn’t going to happen unless you wanted Coke. It hadn’t occurred to Brian to bring any booze with him. He figured he could pick it up at a grocery store. And he could if he was in the States. Seemed Canadians regulated their alcohol sales and it was sold only in a few spots in each city and town. Even beer and wine were hard to find. He’d deal with it tomorrow. Now he needed some sleep.
He dropped his jacket on a chair, kicked off his shoes and padded up the stairs. The first door he opened held a room with twin beds. Not going to be that one. The second room he opened there was one double bed. Maybe he’d get lucky with the third bedroom. With his six foot three frame, he preferred at least a queen size bed.
He opened the third bedroom, moonlight from a full moon streamed in the window highlighting a male form in all his naked glory ‘Goldilocks”. Brian had to smile at the sight of the good-looking blonde boy asleep in what was obviously a king sized bed. The boy was slightly built, but Brian could see that his ass was definitely yummy, and his cock, well even at rest was impressive for one so young and built so small.
“Who’s that sleeping in my bed” Brian growled.
With a terrified scream, the boy sat up in the bed clutching the worn quilt to his throat. “Don’t hurt me mister” he stammered.
“Now why in hell would I want to hurt you Sonny Boy?” he smirked “Of course the fact that you’re in my bed could give me some grounds here.”
“It’s not your bed mister, it’s mine. What are you doing breaking into my house in the middle of the night?”
Brian dangled a key up so the young blonde could see it “My key, my house.”
“My mom said it was her turn this summer for the house.”
“And you are?” Brian looked at him carefully.
“I”m Justin Taylor, my mom is Jennifer Taylor, this house is owned by her and Uncle Marty, they share it.”
“Well Justin Taylor, your Uncle Marty thought your mother wasn’t using it this summer and he told me I could use it. I’m Brian Kinney, I work with your Uncle.”
“Shit” Justin said. “Now what? I told my mom I was spending the summer with my friend Daphne, but she came down with some kind of medical thing and is stuck in the hospital. Mom went with Dad and Molly to Grandma's for the summer ‘cause she’s old and sick. I kind of didn’t want to go so I just came here. I figure as long as I call them once a week, no one will know where I am, I can go back at the end of the summer after having a cool vacation doing nothing but sketch without anybody bugging me.”
“Well Justin Taylor that was more than I wanted to know that’s for sure. I don’t really care about your life story. I want to go to sleep, wake up and find myself all alone for a nice peaceful summer vacation.”
Brian began to pull off his clothes. “I’m sure the fuck not sleeping in the baby beds down the hall. This is my bed, move over or get out. I don’t care I’m tired.”
“But I’m sleeping here?” Justin was incredulous. This absolutely hot guy was stripping his clothes off right in front of him. It was a dream come true. His cock betrayed his thoughts by becoming immediately hard. He couldn’t go to the other room, this guy would see his hard on. He hoped nothing showed through the quilt he’d pulled onto his lap.
“How old are you kid?” he asked.
“Twenty” Justin shot back.
“Really, what year were you born?”
Justin hesitated then answered “nineteen seventy nine.”
“Braaaaat Brian made a buzzer noise. “Wrong answer you had to think about it.”
“Nineteen” he looked at Brian. “Eighteen”
“What is this? A rocket launch?” Brian said as he stalked toward the bed naked.
“I’m seventeen, but I’ll be eighteen soon. Next year is my senior year at St. James Academy in Pittsburgh, I want to be a graphic designer, I’m gay so stay out of my bed it might be dangerous for you. Sixteen is the age for consensual homosexual sex in Canada and Pittsburgh.” Justin’s voice ran down to a silent hum as Brian ignoring him and climbed into the other side of the bed.
“Well kid, I’m gay too so have at it, I’m too tired to fight you off.” That said Brian shut his eyes and fell asleep.
Justin continued to sit on his side of the bed staring at the vision sound asleep beside him. Daphne was so not going to believe this. He got up and used the bathroom. He picked up Brian’s clothes off the floor and hung them over the rocking chair in the corner. Brian was going to have to learn to be tidy he thought. He climbed back into the bed, lay back and stared at the ceiling. He was never going to sleep with this amazing guy in the same bed. Shit, he wished he did have the nerve to even touch him. He’d never touched another guy before, not a naked one. He turned on his side so he could see him better. He sent a silent prayer of thanks for the full moon. His fingers ached with the need to get this vision down on paper. Almost involuntarily his hand crept out to caress the cheek of the man beside him. He shivered in the coolness of the night air and moved a bit closer to the warmth radiating so close to him.
His eyes were becoming heavy, he was tired. He’d spent the day in Nanaimo grocery shopping then made what seemed like a million trips up from the jetty with his supplies when the water taxi dropped him off. He smiled to himself as he drifted into sleep. This was the first time he’d ever slept with anyone in the same bed. It was kind of nice. Definitely better than his teddy bear. As he became sleepier, he moved toward the warm body next to his, first his arm wrapped around the sleeping man, then his leg moved over on top of the strong legs, gradually his head was resting on the shoulder of his very own teddy bear.
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Journal of Brian Kinney
June 25, 1999
Getting to South Winchelsea Island was like fighting your way to the middle of nowhere. The whole time you’re doing it you wonder if you are completely insane. When the water taxi dropped me off on the small jetty that had been built around a pile of rocks I wanted to tell the guy to turn around and take me out of here. But if Marty Ryder can spend summers here then so can I. Of course he probably has his whole family while I don’t even have a cat.
The first thing I noticed as I walked up the rocky incline toward the small house was the utter and complete silence. Oh there’s the sound of the water, the occasional screech from a gull, but no cars, no music, no people. I won’t have Mikey’s whiny voice demanding attention or Ted’s insults to interrupt my day. Only Cynthia has any idea where I am other than Marty and that’s fine with me.
I should have known right then and there that my island paradise was not going to be all sunshine and roses. It seems that I have a stow away, if that’s the term for it. Marty’s nephew Justin Taylor has managed to get himself stranded here for the summer. He looks pretty firmly entrenched from what this kitchen shows. Once he wakes up today I’m going to make it clear that his ass is out of here and back to mommy and daddy.
I have to admit he’s a beautiful piece of eye candy to have around, but I sure as fuck don’t need a house boy for two and half months. I woke up this morning and he’d managed to wrap himself around me using me like some kind of living body pillow. It took me awhile to figure out what in hell was happening, I mean I don’t let tricks stay over - ever.
Looking at him sleeping, his blonde hair smelling like freshly mowed hay, his morning wood pressed into my hip it was all I could do not to throw him on his back and fuck him senseless. The little shit had warned me that he was gay and that I might not be safe in bed with him. It was like the lamb warning the wolf. If I hadn’t been so tired I would have cracked up right then.
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Brian sat in the small kitchen sipping his coffee. The early morning sunlight streamed through the window. Dew sparkled on the grass while the first industrious bees darted from flower to flower in the field in front of the window. Brian smiled to himself when he thought of the small blonde who had cuddled so close during the night.
“You still here?”
Brian looked up from his thoughts and stared at the sullen sleep wrinkled face. “Considering that I’m here until September second and was invited, yes I’m still here. With that in mind, considering that you aren’t invited, why are you still here?” Geeze the kid had given him an instant hard on standing there in the doorway sleep flushed skin wearing a pair of gym shorts.
“I can stay if I want, it’s my mom’s turn for the place” Justin sat down looked around for something to drink, grabbed Brian’s coffee cup and took a sip.
“Eeuuhhh, too much sugar” he bitched. He stomped toward the coffee pot to pour himself a cup. “Hey there’s no coffee”
“For someone who’s not supposed to be here, you are whiny little shit. Make your own damn coffee if you want some and get me another cup while you’re at it. Gawd knows where your mouth has been”
Justin ignored him as best he could. Damn the guy looked even hotter first thing in the morning. He was going to end up with a permanent boner. He stayed behind the counter hoping to hide the fact that his gym shorts were tented. He put together another pot of coffee then proceeded to get out the food to prepare breakfast. Soon the smell of bacon and eggs filled the kitchen was competing with the fresh coffee and the warm toast.
Brian’s stomach growled. He was never a big breakfast eater but the smells were getting to him. Maybe he’d make something when the kid was done.
Justin took out two plates, filled two cups with coffee and two glasses with juice. He put eggs, bacon and a grilled tomato on each plate, added some toast triangles then carried the plates to the table putting one in front of Brian.
Brian sat there surprised as first a plate of food was put in front of him, then a cup of coffee and a glass of juice. He looked at Justin who was carrying the cutlery to the table. “Thanks kid, you didn’t have to cook for me.”
“You’re too skinny, I can’t eat breakfast in front of someone as skinny as you without wanting to feed them.”
Brian looked down at his bare chest. “I am not too skinny”
Justin remembered the bony body under his early this morning. “Let’s just say a bit more padding wouldn’t hurt.” He grinned at Brian.
“Let’s just say, if someone wants padding then they can use a pillow instead of my shoulder. You drool by the way.” Brian grinned back at him.
“I don’t drool.
“Damn near wet a whole towel” Brian teased.
“Sorry” Justin said chagrined.
“Sorry’s bullshit kid” Brian reached over and brushed the fine blonde hair out of the teen’s eyes. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Brian, can I stay here for at least another couple of days? I really don’t have anywhere else to go. I guess I could get a hotel or something in Nanaimo for awhile, but that’s awfully expensive.”
“You really don’t have anywhere to go?” Brian asked.
“Mom is with my Grandmother on her farm.” Justin sighed “I can’t go there, I’ll die”
“I doubt you’ll die Drama Princess”
“What’s that, a Drama Princess?”
“That’s you Sonny Boy.” Brian smirked as he finished off his breakfast.
Justin sat there silent for a few moments. He looked at Brian and grinned “Hey that can’t be all bad then, you know being a Drama Princess’ His smile lit up the room like a burst of sunshine. He stood up and began to clear away the breakfast dishes. “Are you really gay?” he asked conversationally “I mean you’re kind of an older guy and everything. I was wondering a few things. How did you know you were gay?”
“Yes I’m really gay and I am not that old Sunshine” Brian was amused. He never thought he’d be in the position to answer questions put to him by some kid about homosexuality. “Does the thought of seeing Britney Spears naked turn you on or does someone like Brad Pitt naked turn you on?”
“Oh Brad Pitt without a doubt, I could definitely go for a naked Brad Pitt.”
“Guess you’re queer then.”
“Kewel”
Brian got up and began to dry the dishes that Justin was washing. He rejected one and dumped it back into the water. “I don’t want breakfast with my lunch Sunshine.”
Justin felt a flush of pleasure surge through his groin when Brian called him Sunshine in that soft sexy voice. “Brian, if you know Uncle Marty, are you from Pittsburgh too?”
“All my life”
“Have you heard of a street called Liberty Avenue?” Justin was suddenly shy. “My friend Daphne and I went down there a couple of weeks ago, you know to kind of get the feel of the place. It was great. I’m going to go back there when I get home, maybe get into one of the clubs.”
“Stay away from there until you’re older. You could find yourself in trouble if you aren’t careful. Some of the guys who hang out there would love to get their hands on a cute blonde twink and turn him out.”
“What’s a twink?”
“You are”
“How can I be a Drama Princess and a twink?”
“In my experience most twinks are definitely Drama Princesses.” Brian looked at him and laughed. He rumpled the blonde silk, “Don’t look so serious Sunshine, there will be time enough for Liberty Avenue when you grow up.”
“If you live in Pittsburgh, you could take me there. You’d make sure I was safe”
“I’m not into twinks kid”
“But if I don’t go there I’ll never get laid. I’m almost eighteen and I’m still a virgin. I saw this book about homosexual sex, there was some very interesting pictures. I want to do some of those things while I'm still flexible enough.”
“Trust me kid, a few years isn’t going to stiffen you up, you’ll be just fine when you find yourself a hot stud.” Brian hung up the dishtowel, patted Justin on the behind and left the room. “I’m going to shower then unpack. Try and stay out of my way so I can at least pretend I’m on my island alone.”
Justin listened to his footsteps as they walked upstairs. Just thinking about him being naked and wet only a few yards from him made him as hard as a rock. Shit he’d have to beat off again. That would be four times since he woke up. Staying on the same small island in the same house as Brian Kinney was going to keep his wrist limber.
He grabbed a sweatshirt from the hook by the door, picked up his backpack with his sketch book and pencils and went outside. The view from the top of the small hill behind the house was amazing. He walked rapidly up the trail heading for one of his favorite spots. He’d spent many long hours there during his summers on the island sketching unseen the people in the house below him. The spot afforded him the privacy he’d often seek away from his family.
Before he could concentrate on the landscape he quickly dashed off a sketch of Brian as he stood at the end of the bed last night naked and unashamed. Before long he’d lost himself in another sketch, this time of Brian sleeping. He let his pencil fly over the paper, the scene burned into his brain of the auburn head on the pillow next to his. His stomach gurgled and growled. It must be time for lunch. He packed up his sketch pad and made his way down the hill to the house.
“I thought you’d gotten lost.” Brian said as he came in the door.
“The whole place is only a mile across Brian, even you couldn’t get lost here and I’ve been here every other summer since I was five.”
“That wasn’t all that long ago.” Brian teased.
“Up yours Brian” Justin said. He walked over to see what Brian was doing in the kitchen.
“Not going to happen Sunshine” Brian smirked. “Where’s the damn peanut butter?” he opened another cupboard. Everyone has peanut butter.”
“What are you doing Brian?” Justin asked.
“Making lunch, what does it look like?” Brian said. “You made breakfast, I’m making lunch.”
“Peanut butter for lunch?”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“Why don’t you sit down, I’ll make you lunch.” Justin said. He washed his hands then began to unload things from the fridge. Brian watched fascinated as the assortment of produce on the counter was transformed into a large chef’s salad complete with delicately sliced hardboiled eggs and strips of ham and turkey. He mixed up an oil and vinegar dressing with the addition of a few herbs and spices he gathered from a cupboard. When the plates were ready he asked. “Want to eat in here or out on the picnic table?”
“Outside would be nice.” Brian said. He picked up the tray that now held the salad dressing, cutlery, and glasses of lemonade. Justin followed with the two plates of salad.
“You want buns or bread?” Justin asked “I baked some cheese buns yesterday when I got back from shopping.”
Brian shook his head at the statement. “This is great, I don’t need anything else.”
They took their places at the old picnic table. Justin looked at Brian, “Do you cook even a little bit?” He asked.
“I make a great peanut butter sandwich and I excel at pouring cereal into a bowl.”
“What are you planning on doing about food out here?” Justin looked around “Calling for takeout and getting Joe’s water taxi to bring it here could get kind of expensive.”
“I’m sure I could figure out something. I don’t eat much and I can always get stuff in Nanaimo once a week.”
“I could stay and cook for you.” Justin suggested his voice shy.
“You could I suppose.” Brian was starting to like this kid. “You’re quiet and stay out of my way, or you have so far.”
“I can help with lots of things. We can trade” He grinned at Brian. “I’ll cook and help around the place and you can tell me stuff.”
“What kind of stuff?” Brian was suspicious.
“Just stuff,” Justin shrugged.
“Kind of like a big brother” Brian suggested.
Justin nodded only he was thinking “Kind of like a boyfriend”
“That sounds OK. I’m not promising the whole summer, but we’ll go from week to week.”
“Cool” Justin said. He jumped up and ran over to Brian kissing his cheek “Thanks Brian, you won’t regret it.”
With the feel of Justin's lips burning a brand mark on his soul, Brian knew he was already regretting it.
Justin gathered up the dishes on the tray and moved inside to clean up after lunch. Brian sat in the warm sun reluctant to go in and help him. The clean but salty smell of hot boy seared his lungs. Never before had someone affected him quite like this boy. It shook him to his core.
He was about to get up when “Stay there Brian, I’m almost done.” Rang out from the window and he sat back reprieved.
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Journal Entry
June 30, 1999
It’s been five days since I landed on the island and discovered my very own Goldilocks. Five days of unbelievable sexual tension and me reduced to masturbating in the bathroom like some horny teenager. I’ve even started to add a daily swim off the jetty and believe me that water will freeze your balls into useless marbles if you stay in long. But I could only take just so many cold showers before the kid would notice.
If I didn’t know better I’d swear to god he’s trying to provoke me into ravishing his lily white ass. Every chance he gets he touches me. I’m sure I have a dozen invisible brands on my arms from his finger tips.
Last night was the worst. There was a thunder storm the likes of which I’d never before seen. The lightning was amazing as it sheeted across the water. The waves almost reached us at the top of the cliff in front of the house. I was staring out the window when Justin crawled into bed with me. He didn’t say a word; I could feel his body trembling. What could I do, I had to hold out my arm so he could crawl closer. I ended up with him sleeping in my arms all night while I lay there on guard, my balls aching to the point I almost couldn’t walk this morning. Listening to him sleep, his body snuggled in close to mine made my own lack of sleep well worth while. I must have drifted off closer to the morning because when I woke up I was alone with the scent of his shampoo still lingering on my chest.
I think when he comes back from where ever he disappears to during the day, I think I’ll take him into the city. I need a few hours off this small speck of land and we are running out of supplies. I haven’t had a cigarette since yesterday when I smoked my last one. I wonder if I should buy condoms and lube or is that anticipating more than will ever happen. I didn’t bring anything figuring why would I need them. But now, with Justin here anything could happen. He probably thinks I’m too old for him and I am, but geeze the kid is hot. Maybe I’ll treat him to dinner at a good restaurant. The kid does all the cooking around here and he never complains.
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Justin trudged over the small hill making his way back to the house for lunch. He was going to have to go into Nanaimo soon, his sketch book was almost full with Brian on every page. He was obsessed. He giggled to himself. He had decided that first morning to see how far he could go before Brian would move on him. He wanted to have Brian be his first lover. The look on Brian’s face when he “accidentally” touches him is too funny for words. Last night when the thunderstorm hit was too much of a good thing to pass up. Thunder and lightning made him nervous so he crawled into bed with Brian. When he woke up this morning after having Brian hold him was wonderful. He walked in the door to find Brian with his cell phone in his hand calling the water taxi. “Hey Brian, you going into Nanaimo?”
“Yes, I need a few things and we’re getting low on fresh veggies and other stuff.”
“I need a new sketch book. Can you get that for me?”
“Why don’t you come with me? I’ll buy you dinner; you’ve been doing enough cooking.”
“Hey, can I get a Big Mac for lunch too?” Justin was all excited. He didn’t wait for an answer but ran up to get ready.
Brian laughed. “Yes you can get a Big Mac” he answered. Something about the way this kid viewed life made the day just that much brighter.
Justin bounced down the stairs two at a time. He stumbled on a small scatter rug at the bottom of the stairs and ended up in Brian's arms.
Brian held him for a moment longer than he needed to.
Justin’s heart was fluttering like that of a captured bird as he pulled reluctantly out of Brian’s arms. Their lips were only inches apart. He wanted with all his heart to crush those perfectly formed lips with his but he didn’t dare make the first move. It had to be Brian. He hoped he’d be able to convince him before the end of the summer.
“Steady there Sunshine. It’s going to take Joe at least twenty minutes to get here” Brian said. He reached over and smoothed Justin’s shirt back into place.
Justin was sure Brian would see the spark that flew when he touched his chest smoothing the fabric over it. He was glad he had on baggy cargo pants the way his cock responded to the touch of this fascinating man.
“Want to wait for him on the jetty?” Justin asked.
“Sure, but grab a jacket, we won’t be coming back until after dark and it’ll be cold on the water.”
Justin took a thick hooded fleece jacket off the hook by the door. He let his fingers trail along the smooth black leather of the jacket hanging beside it before he took it down to bring to Brian. He put the jacket up to his nose inhaling the essence of the man he was heavily ‘in like’ with, as Daphne had teased him this morning when they chatted.
He handed Brian his jacket and they walked slowly down to the rocky shore. The two of them walked on the beach a few yards away from the jetty. Brian bent down and picked up something from the sand, a piece of ocean glass, smooth and rough at the same time. He looked at it then handed it to Justin, it was in the shape of a heart. “Here, you can put it in your memory box if you have one. Label it June thirtieth; the day Brian Kinney gave me his heart on the beach of South Winchelsea Island.” He grinned at Justin. ‘I’m thinking there’s a lot of truth to those words’ he said to himself.
Justin blushed as he took the piece of glass in his hand. He looked at the misty pink colored glass and blushed deeper. “Thanks Brian, I will” he managed to stammer while he put the small heart shaped piece of glass in his pocket. They continued to walk along the beach until the rumble of the water taxi was heard as it approached the shoreline. They dashed back to the jetty in time to scramble aboard the boat. Joe pulled away from the dock and Brian and Justin stood in the bow letting the sea wind blow in their faces as the boat skipped over the waves toward the city harbor.
The afternoon was fun for both of them. Brian rented a car and they drove first to McDonalds where they ended up at a table under a few trees. The two of them spent almost an hour there in the afternoon sun; Justin eating two Big Macs and feeding fries to Brian while they talked and laughed. From there Brian drove them to a mall and Justin was able to buy some more art supplies. Brian picked up a leather portfolio for Justin and insisted he have it. Finally they went to a large grocery store and bought the groceries they would need for the next week. Brian took their packages down to the wharf where Joe was just getting back from another run. He paid him to take their stuff to their island and gave him something extra to carry the things up to the house and put the cold food in the refrigerator. Now the two of them could have a leisurely dinner.
They returned the car then walked along the wharf until they reached the downtown area. The lights from a hotel advertised a restaurant and they were pleasantly surprised at the elegance of the dining room at the Dorchester Hotel. The two of them ate a leisurely dinner while they watched the harbor activities. The bottle of wine Brian had ordered at dinner and shared with Justin had mellowed both of them.
Joe was waiting for them; it was his last run of the day. The sun was setting, the water calm when they climbed aboard. This time they sat side by side on one of the benches in the bow of the boat. As the sun went below the horizon the air became chilly, Justin shivered in his fleece jacket. Brian saw him and moved closer. He put his arm over Justin’s shoulder pulling him close for warmth. The boat ride back was only thirty minutes. To Justin it was over in an instant. He wanted Brian’s arm to hold him tight forever. When the boat pulled up to the small jetty, Brian hopped out first after paying Joe. He held his hand out for Justin to steady himself when he stepped onto the wooden planks of the jetty. He must have forgotten to let go, because they walked up the dark path to the house fingers twined together. Neither one dared to speak as to not break the spell the two were under.
Brian could see from the empty bags on the kitchen table that the groceries had been put away. He continued to hold Justin’s hand until they reached the entrance to the room that Justin had been using. He turned and cupped the teens chin in his hand and kissed his full lips gently. “Sweet dreams, Sunshine” Brian turned and walked into his own room leaving Justin standing there in the hallway, a silly smile on his face.
Justin continued to smile to himself as he walked into the smaller room. Brian kissed him. He felt like he was walking on air. He barely remembered brushing his teeth and getting ready for bed, his head was so full of Brian. He lay on the small bed reliving the day moment by moment, the small heart shaped piece of glass in his hand. He tucked it under his pillow and closed his eyes. Brian would be in his dreams tonight.
Brian walked into his room and never before had the bed there seemed so big and so empty. For twenty nine years he had preferred to sleep alone yet one night holding Justin had spoiled him forever. He was never one to sleep soundly at the best of times and now his arms ached for the feel of the boy in them. He got ready for bed using the bathroom next to his room then slowly moved under the summer weight quilt and listened to the sound the waves made as they hit the rocky shoreline.
Two hours later he gave up trying to sleep. He was about to get up when he heard the quiet padding of Justin’s feet. The bed sank under the weight of its new occupant. He didn’t say a word, pretending to sleep. Justin’s warm body moved over to him wrapping itself around him like the first night they’d spend in the bed. He heard the boy sigh deeply then almost instantly the regular breathing told him that Justin had fallen asleep. He felt himself relax under the weight of the arms and legs that were now pinning him to the mattress. He breathed the scent of Justin in and like some form of anesthetic was instantly asleep.
The sun was high in the sky when he woke up. His arms empty, he felt the spot where he was sure Justin had been and it was still warm. He rolled over and breathed deeply hoping to catch his scent and was rewarded with the shampoo and soap smell of the young man he was coming to love. If it hadn’t been for that, he would have been sure that he’d dreamed last night’s middle of the night rendezvous
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Journal
July 1, 1999
I did take him to Nanaimo yesterday. It was almost like a date, if I did dates that is. I never laughed so much or had so much fun eating and shopping. Justin is amazing. He even managed to feed me a whole order of fries from McDonald’s. I guess I must have looked funny when I realized I’d eaten them because it cracked him up so much he forgot to breathe which in turn cracked me up. It was one of those moments you had to be there to appreciate.
I saw him looking at a leather portfolio in the art supply store and bought it for him when he wasn’t looking. He opened the bag in the car. It was like watching a kid open a Christmas present he was so happy. I’ll have to give him presents more often. Funny thing, I gave him a piece of ocean glass I picked up off the beach and got the same reaction. The smallest things make him happy.
We walked and talked for hours. I’ve discovered more about myself while talking to him than a hundred hours of high priced therapy. I’ve discovered that it’s alright to let someone into your heart. I’m going to treasure these summer memories for the rest of my life. Something to take out and savor in the cold Pittsburgh winters. I wonder if he’ll think of me when he’s back in school. I hope so.
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Brian finished writing in his journal then tucked it away in his drawer. He wandered downstairs and wasn’t really surprised to find that Justin had left the house. He had demanded that he be left alone each day and Justin had honored that demand faithfully. He shook his head ruefully; he wished Justin had for once stayed at the house. He missed his sunny smile.
Justin sat in the warm sand his back leaning against a cedar log that had long ago washed up on the shore. His sketch pad sat barely touched on knees as he stared into waves that were slowly rolling in. His eyes were dreamy as he relived yesterday’s adventure. His fingers tingled as if they missed the strong brown ones that had twined with his yesterday. He shuddered with pleasure when he relived the soft kiss that Brian had given him before sending him to bed. He looked at his sketch pad and his laugh held embarrassment and wonder when he saw that he had written Brian’s name on the page over and over in different scripts like something Daphne might do with each crush she had. And last night, a flush of pleasure washed over him when he remembered. He’d lain in bed for what had seemed like forever without sleeping, finally giving into the impulse to crawl in beside Brian. He’d carefully moved toward the bed and Brian hadn’t stirred even once when he crawled in beside him. He’d fallen asleep instantly. All he had needed was Brian. He made him feel safe, protected from the world. Justin wondered if this was what love was all about. This safe, warm feeling, he would have to ask Daphne the next time he called her.
He turned the page on his sketch book, the page that was full of Brian’s name. With determined concentration he began yet another sketch of his favorite muse. Swift sure pencil strokes began to turn the white page into Brian’s laughing face. The Brian Kinney that Justin was falling in love with would be unrecognized by his family of friends back in Pittsburgh.
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Journal
July 7, 1999
For the first time in years, maybe for the first time in my life I feel completely relaxed. Justin is off getting ready to go into Nanaimo with me today. Joe should be here at ten. The past few days have been an adventure into normalcy for me in an odd way. Each night Justin sneaks into my bed and wraps around me falling instantly asleep. I manage a few minutes of reveling in his touch. The gentle beat of his heart combined with the ocean waves and Justin’s breathing lull me to sleep. In the morning he’s gone before I wake up. He can’t be gone long because his side of the bed is still warm and my shoulder is still somewhat gummy from him drooling on me. Would anyone I know believe that I treasure the feel of a warm spot in my bed and drool on my shoulder? Would they believe that I sleep more than eight hours each night beside a young man I’m falling hopelessly in love with and we’ve never had sex?
We seem to have fallen into a daily routine. I wake up alone; relish the few moments left to me before the smell and feel of him dissipates. I go downstairs and he has coffee and breakfast ready for me. Sometimes he’ll have left a sketch of something the two of us have shared. When we go to town today I’m going to buy myself a portfolio for these summer memories. He arrives back at the house to make lunch and we end up sitting for hours talking and laughing, sharing moments of our lives. I’ve told him things about myself that I’ve told no one else, ever, including Mikey. It’s funny; when we talk there is not twelve year age difference. He doesn’t act shocked or horrified if I mention my dysfunctional family or childhood. He doesn’t pity me. Sometimes when it’s a bad memory he might reach out and touch my hand, his blue eyes sad. For some reason that touch, the care that shows in his eyes, for some reason it makes me feel better. I can feel the walls I’ve built around my heart crumble each time we talk.
I know his family and friends now as well as my own and he knows mine. We save the evenings for long silent walks along the beach or through the grassy meadows and small forest. He is full of childhood adventure stories from his summers spent on this island. Believe it or not we rarely stay up past nine, instead we climb the stairs with weary reluctance when the sun has barely cleared the horizon. I kiss his sweet lips each night; a chaste kiss that I hope conveys the promise of something more. Who knows if and when we’ll be ready to take that next step, he’s so young and trusting. Never before have I felt so responsible for another person’s well being. He slips into his room to do gawd knows what while he waits for me to fall asleep so he can join me. A charade I continue because I need him in my arms each night to complete my day.
Today I have a surprise for him when Joe gets here. Thank gawd for cell phones.
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Brian slipped his journal into the desk drawer when he hears Justin’s feet bounce down the steps. “Ready Sunshine?” he askes. Even his voice was smiling with pleasure when he saw the happy face standing in front of him.
“I’m ready. How come we’re leaving so early?” Justin asked as they started toward the jetty. Joe’s boat could be seen closing in fast.
“Don’t you want to get some greasy fast food into you sooner than you did the last time?”
“Hey you ate all the fries.” Justin teased.
“Brat” Brian replied but he couldn’t resist the smiling lips and quickly brushed his own across them. It was his turn to laugh when Justin flushed with pleasure.
He took Justin’s hand and they went to meet the boat as it pulled up. Brian helped Justin board. Joe came over to them handing them both a bright orange full length suit that looked like an old fashioned snowmobile suit.
“Put these on boys” Joe said.
Justin looked at Brian who had started to climb into his. “What’s this for?” he asked.
“It’s a floatation survival suit. If either of you guys fell overboard, you wouldn’t last longer than a few minutes in these icy waters.”
Justin climbed into his still puzzled. “It didn’t bother him before this Brian, What’s up?”
“Sit back and enjoy the ride Sunshine” Brian said. He helped Justin zip up the ankles of his suit, pulling the strap tight.
At first Justin thought they’d be far too hot in the bulky thing, but when the boat turned for the open water of the ocean rather than toward Nanaimo and the speed increased, he was glad of the warmth. The cold water of the strait combined with the speed of the boat, pushed chilled air back at them. He sat back against the cabin beside Brian wondering what was happening.
Brian reached over for his hand threading his fingers through Justin's. His eyes smiled down into blue pools of wonder and the land was left behind them. Soon they were so far out that it was almost scary thinking of the small craft, a mere speck on the vastness of the ocean. The waves rolled under them as the boat slowed almost stopping. Brian laughed when Justin’s eyes widened in amazement when he caught the first glimpse of the whale pod that was passing by. He stood up to lean over the side. Brian was grateful that he’d insisted on the survival suit as Justin was precariously perched on the side of the boat while the dozen or so various sized whales slowly passed under and around them.
Joe allowed the boat to have just enough speed to keep abreast of the pod. An enormous head breached the water, barnacles firmly attached to its body, a large eye looked right at Justin and he was sure the whale was laughing at him. He could hear the high pitched sonar talk as he turned to Brian to grin when the whale dove deep, its tail slapping the water spraying him thoroughly. Brian stepped behind Justin and wrapped his arms protectively around him holding him steady. He bent kissing the blonde just under his ear. Justin leaned back into his safe haven, he turned his head and for the first time their lips held nothing back. Brian hungrily sought Justin’s, their tongues dueled. Reluctantly they broke apart, both of them breathless and flushed. Justin turned back to watch the whales, his knees weak with desire from the first real kiss he’d ever shared with another.
Brian continued to hold onto Justin. The fluttering inside him scaring him at first. He’d never in all his years, with all his tricks and his very few relationships ever felt this way when he’d kissed them. The longer he held Justin in his arms while they watched the whales the more he realized that he didn’t have to fear what he felt for him. It was a new and pleasant feeling to know that this summer fling would leave him benefiting more than he would have thought possible. He was learning to love, to feel, to care. How could that possibly be a bad thing? He wanted to kiss the blonde again, but he didn’t dare. He was so close to losing control over the situation that he just didn’t dare. He had to be content to hold him as long as he could reasonable do so.
Joe’s voice sounded behind him. “We’re going to turn back now boys. Let this pod move on without us. I sure hope you enjoyed them, they’re migrating south right now, they’ll return in the fall. I’ve seen that old guy for almost fifteen years; he seems to know my boat. He breaches every time I come out to say hello.
Justin turned away reluctantly to face Joe. “That was amazing Joe” he looked into smiling hazel eyes “Thank you Brian for bringing me to see this.” The boat turned around to head to the city. Justin stayed at the rail until the final whale tail slapped the ocean waves so far in the distance it was hard to tell for sure that's what they were looking at.
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Once again the two young men had a magical day in the city. Brian bought the portfolio he wanted to keep the sketches Justin gave to him safe. He was amused by Justin’s blush of pleasure when he found out why he wanted it. They purchased groceries and this time ate lunch at the Swiss Chalet restaurant that specialized in chicken. The hostess showed them to a booth. Justin slid in and Brian slid in beside him making it all that much easier for the two of them to share their lunch with each other. Once again Brian came away from lunch amazed at how much and what he ate thanks to Justin’s antics.
They were walking across the parking lot when Justin teasingly rubbed Brian’s tummy. His hand touched the firm belly and he felt Brian tremble under his fingers. Their eyes met and locked. Brian could feel his heart beat wildly in his chest, his arms ached to hold Justin close. Only the honking of a car horn propelled them on their way to their rented car.
Justin was having a difficult time controlling his breathing as he stood by the car door waiting for Brian to open it. Brian leaned past him unlocking the door then opening it for Justin. His breath was hot on the back of Justin’s neck, making Justin want to turn around badly knowing his face would only be inches from Brian’s. But he was afraid to take the chance that the older man would reject him. Right now all he had were his fairy tale fantasies to get him through the long days and even longer nights.
It started to rain and the grey skies over the ocean didn’t give any indication that the weather would clear soon. “Brian, maybe we should go back now with Joe rather than have him take the groceries.” He looked up at the dismal sky.
“Ok, we can come in earlier next week if we’ve forgotten anything.” Brian looked at him. “Should we pick up some take out, maybe Chinese for supper?”
Justin looked at the dozen bags in the back seat. “I think just this once we could find something for you to cook if you insist on this being your night.”
“I cook best with a telephone in one hand and a take out menu in the other.”
“Well, then, I’ll teach you how to make something.” He grinned at Brian “It’ll be fun Brian.”
Brian looked dubious, “If you say so Sunshine.”
Joe was waiting at the dock; he helped them load their purchases into the small cabin and invited them inside for the trip to the island. “Raining cats and dogs boys, glad you made it. The water’s too uncertain to leave much later today. He looked at the two of them. “As a precaution I’d appreciate it if you’d put on the survival suits again.” It was only then that Brian and Justin both noticed that Joe had on one of the suits. though he had a down filled vest over top.
Justin thought it was overkill but who was he to argue. When they hit the open water and the small boat began to be tossed from wave to wave, Justin was glad of the suit. His eyes were dark with worry and he instinctively sought the shelter of Brian’s strong arms as the boat slowly forced its way through the waves toward the island. Justin was sure hours were passing, but the trip didn’t take much longer than on a calm day. He was grateful to get out of the suit and onto the wooden jetty with their bags. He never complained about the wet cold rain making its way in steady rivulets down his neck. He was shivering with cold by the time they made it up the hill to the house. His hands were frozen lumps around the handles of the plastic bags. He forced his fingers open when they reached the kitchen dropping the bags on the counter top.
“You go have a hot shower” Brian said. “I’ll start a fire in the fireplace and put the groceries away.”
Justin wanted to protest but his blue lips wouldn’t let him. He smiled his appreciation and ran up the stairs. Brian hung up his jacket and toweled his hair dry. He looked at the fireplace. He’d laid a fire ready to burn when he’d first arrived but it had always been too warm. He hoped he did it right because it was his first fire. He bent and lit the paper wick he’d inserted and smiled when the kindling began to burn. Soon he had a welcoming fire burning brightly. He went into the kitchen and put away the groceries. He could hear Justin finishing up in the shower. He opened a couple of cans of tomato soup and started them heating on the stove. He found the French bread and quickly sliced thick slices, buttering them then sprinkling the butter with garlic powder. He stuck them under the broiler in the small toaster oven. Tomato soup and garlic toast were comfort food for rainy days. He stood back surveying his culinary offerings. Looked good to him and he went up the stairs to change out of his wet clothes. He passed Justin on the stairs. “I’m going up to change. I started supper.” He grinned “can you keep an eye on it? I won’t be long.”
Justin wandered into the kitchen and laughed when he saw Brian's idea of supper. He chopped a few green onions and found the sour cream. He pulled out the charcoaling “garlic” toast. He sliced a few more slices this time he mixed some freshly crushed garlic into some soft butter along with some finely chopped chives. He had just served the soup when Brian appeared.
Brian sat at the table “This is MY soup?” he asked. “It never looked like this before. Justin had placed a dollop of sour cream in the center of the creamy red soup, sprinkled it with chopped green onion. Two pieces of lightly toasted garlic toast graced the side plate sitting with Brian’s soup.
“Presentation is everything Brian” Justin grinned at him. “Didn’t they teach you that in advertising school?”
“Brat” Brian said but he was impressed with Justin’s presentation of a simple meal of canned tomato soup and garlic toast.
The two of them ate in companionable silence. The rain beat down relentless. They washed the dishes and tidied the kitchen. “Want to watch a movie Brian?” Justin asked “I think I saw some DVD’s in that bookcase.” He pointed to a small bookcase sitting in the corner.
“Sure, looks like our walk is out tonight” Brian walked over to the bookcase hunkering down to find the DVD’s. He looked carefully and only could find one case. “All we have is the Titanic” he said.
“Cool, I love that movie” Justin turned on the television and sat on the sofa in smiling anticipation.
“I don’t think I’ve watched it” Brian said. He put the DVD in the player joining Justin on the sofa before he started the movie.
Almost three hours later the words of the haunting song-
Every night in my dreams I see you, I feel you,
That is how I know you go on.
Far across the distance And spaces between us
You have come to show you go on
Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on.
Floated on the air filling the room, Justin sat wrapped in Brian’s arms as tears streamed down his face. Even Brian felt the emotion of the story and the song. He cuddled Justin closer. They sat in silence as the credits rolled across the screen. Brian wiped the tears from the corners of Justin’s eyes with his thumb then bent and kissed him gently. “Don’t cry Sunshine, it’s only a movie.”
“But it’s so sad Brian.” He snuggled closer and put his head on Brian’s chest. “Do you think it’s possible for people like us to find that kind of love?”
“People like us? Like you and I or queers in general?” Brian had to ask.
“I don’t know, gays or you and me” His breath hitched in his throat.
“Any thing is possible Sunshine. If you’d asked me that question a few weeks ago you might have gotten a different answer. But truthfully, since I’ve known you I’ve realized that anything is possible.”
They got up from the sofa and turned off the lights, checked the fire to make sure it was out and climbed the stairs together. Outside of Justin’s room Brian bent and kissed softly. “Sweet dreams Sunshine” he whispered. He reluctantly walked alone to his room. He was barely in bed, his cock tenting the summer quilt when his door opened and Justin walked in naked climbing in and sliding over to Brian.
“I don’t think I sent out invitations to the sleep over party Sunshine.” Brian said. He rolled over on his side and propped his head on his hand, his elbow on his pillow. He could see nothing because of the rain. There was no moon or convenient street lamp to provide illumination.
“Brian? Will you...” Justin hesitated “Will you kiss me like you did on the boat today.”
“It was just a kiss Justin.”
“No, when you kiss me goodnight in the hallway, that’s just a kiss. A nice one though.” He was quick to reassure Brian. “I mean the kind of kiss that’s special, that makes my dick hard and my toes curl.”
“Justin, I don’t think -- Brian started “You’re only seventee -- he didn’t get to finish his sentence as two warm lips covered his with inexperienced passion. Brian did his best not to give in. But when a hand moved to the back of his head, strong fingers began to thread through his hair and an insistent cock started to poke him in the belly his resistance melted. He pushed Justin down until his head was on the pillow and he crushed the warm lips to his, instantly hard with a moan that echoed through the room from deep in his throat.
Justin’s hands began to roam his body while his lips learned their lessons well in these initial kisses. “Fuck Justin” he whispered when he was able to come up for air.”
“Yes, I’d love to Brian. Teach me, teach me to be the best homosexual I can.” Brian could hear the grin in his voice.
“Justin - I -
“Make love to me Brian” Justin pleaded.
Brian’s reply was to let his lips once again join with Justin’s, pouring all the love and all the passion that he’d been saving for the past two weeks into a kiss that neither Justin nor he would ever forget. Justin moaned deeply and began to squirm. Brian was about to ask if he was hurting him when the intense wet heat of Justin’s cum splashed over his belly.
Justin was mortified. “Oh Brian” he began.
“Shhh Baby, you’re seventeen, that was just an appetizer, there’s lots of courses before dessert.” Brian teased. He ran his finger through the cum on his belly then licked it off. Justin blushed when he realized what Brian had done. “Mmmph sweet just like you” Brian pulled Justin’s head toward his, branding his lips forever with the love he poured into the kiss to end all kisses.
When he pulled away from the mouth that he could have cheerfully drowned in, he laughed “See, ready for the first course.” He brushed his lips down the smooth expanse of skin at Justin’s throat. Justin groaned deep inside, his hands going to Brian’s hair trying to hold his head in place, to prolong the feeling building inside. Instead a wet warm tongue appeared between his lips. Brian began to trace a path down his body; Justin squirmed in anticipation of what he didn’t know. He just knew it felt wonderful.
“Roll over Sunshine” he whispered.
“On my stomach?”
“That would be nice.”
Justin rolled over, his beautiful shaped ass firmly raised. Brian climbed between his legs then began to kiss the back of the warm neck, sweat beading on Justin’s skin. Brian used his tongue and lips nibbling and tasting along the way. He used Justin’s spine as a pathway that surely was going to lead to heaven. He whispered soft sentiments as his lips moved lower. His firm hands parted the beautiful mounds and he continued until he reached his goal. That tightly clenched virginal bud.
Justin wiggled. He wasn’t sure what Brian was doing. It was kind of embarrassing. He was about to say something when an indescribable flash of pleasure shot through his body. Brian’s tongue was circling his hole round and round stopping only for quick sucking kisses. Justin melted into the sheets only to shout with pleasure when the tongue began to probe, using fast darting intrusions that had his eyes rolling to the back of his head, his breath coming in quick pants his ass thrusting involuntarily back for more. When Brian felt the tight hole begin to relax he gave it one final lick then moved up. His strong arms turned Justin onto his back. He looked down at him grinning. “That was your first rimming lesson. I’ll resume it later.”
“Can I do it to you?” Justin asked. Justin wanted badly to make Brian feel the way he was feeling now.
“Maybe” Brian rarely had let anyone that close to him, preferring to act the part of a feral top.
“Please”
“Yes, but right now this night is for you. I’m your first, I’ll always be with you in your mind whenever you’re with someone else.”
Justin hummed his pleasure at that statement. Brian moved Justin’s legs to his shoulders positioning himself carefully. “Bri, at school, we talked about safe sex.” Justin hated to break the moment, but the teacher had been very insistent.
“And now we’ll have a demonstration” he ripped open the condom packet with his teeth in a practiced motion. He handed it to Justin “Put it on me”
Justin’s hands shook as he smoothed the latex over the magnificent thick cock between his legs. When he felt the full glory of it he was momentarily worried about where it was going next. Brian realizing this, bent over his lover and kissed him, first with gentleness then with hunger until Justin was once again writhing under him.
Justin heard the pop of a flip top then shivered as something cold was smoothed over his once again tightly clenched hole. “It’ll warm up” Brian said. He inserted a lubed finger slowly stretching Justin, then added another. Justin was so tight he hated to do the next part but he knew it was the only way. He removed his finger, the head of his latex covered cock pushed in slowly.
Justin couldn’t breath; the pain was almost more than he could bear. “It hurts” he gasped “Does it always hurt?” because if it did then that’s it for his sex life he thought.
“Yes, but you’ll begin to like the pinch of pleasure/pain that comes. It isn’t always this bad. Relax” Brian paused for Justin to catch his breath. He could feel the tight ring of muscle strangling his cock trying to force it out. Gradually it began to relax and Brian pushed in further once again to wait while Justin adjusted. Brian bent again kissing the bruised lips until he felt the ass impaled on his cock begin to thrust back with need. He smiled to himself as he thrust at first slowly then faster. The tight velvet tunnel hotly gripping his cock, until together the spasms began, he barely heard Justin’s shout of “Briiiiiaaaaannnnn” over his own shout of “Jusssssssstttttinn I love you.”
Justin heard him, he heard Brian’s words and everything he’d felt, and every bit of pain was gone from his mind forever with those three words. Brian collapsed on top of him nuzzling his neck while he caught his breath. Justin wrapped his arms around Brian, his fingers tracing small circles. He was a man now. He was a man and he was completely thoroughly one hundred percent in love with the man who lay on top of him.
His bum was a bit tender when Brian’s thick but softened cock slid out of him. But already he could feel a stir deep in his balls and his own cock began to stiffen again. “Brian” he whispered “Brian”
“Don’t tell me you’re going to be a talker after we make love.” Brian said and he sighed rolling off Justin. He removed the full condom, tied it off then dropped it in the trash can beside the bed.
“I don’t know” came the small voice. “Can we do it again?” Justin waited for a reply “Now Brian”
Brian laughed out loud. Not only did he discover love this summer. He discovered a lover who could keep up with him. “Bonus” he mentally gave himself a high five as he turned to kiss the swollen pouty lips.
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Journal
August 30, 1999
In only a few days this idyllic life will end. I will return to Pittsburgh and resume my life as Brian Kinney asshole extraordinaire. My beautiful Justin will return to finish his senior year at St. James Academy.
Did I accomplish what I set out to do with this long awaited vacation from life? Well a whole new set of rules instantly surfaced the first time I held him in my arms. Around him I’m not Brian Kinney of the sharp tongue and cold heart. He makes my heart sing with happiness. All I have to do is catch a glimpse of his blonde head and I melt inside. Today I have to break his heart and tear out mine in the process.
He can’t fixate on me, a twenty nine year old man. He has to live life and discover other loves. He needs to experience everything there is to experience. All the amazing things that the senior year in high school can bring have to be his. As long as he thinks he loves me he’ll never have it.
And myself – I’ve had twenty nine years of fighting off disappointments in life. I’ll live.
I hear him coming up now. For the first time since I stepped on this island I crave some kind of strong mind numbing drug. But that’s the coward’s way out and Brian Kinney is no coward though others might disagree.
sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Justin walked into the bedroom with a heavy heart. Brian was so transparent. He was going to try and break up with him because he thought it was the right thing to do. He dreaded the next few hours. His hand slipped into his pocket, his fingers seeking the small piece of ocean glass. He had Brian’s heart and no “good intention” of Brian’s could take that away from him. He squared his shoulders. No one could ever accuse Justin Taylor of being a coward.
Brian held the smaller man in his arms as he said all the words, doing his best to make him understand. His chest was wet with tears from Justin as the love of his life lay there crying silently. Somehow silent tears hurt more than passionate sobs. His heart was breaking, both their hearts were breaking. It was only then that he realized his own face was wet with the silent tears of heartbreak.
“Do you understand baby?” he asked. “It’s for your own good.”
“I’ll understand if you answer one question for me. I want the complete and honest truth.”
“I will never lie to you.”
“This summer, what we felt and shared with other. That was real wasn’t it?” Justin began.
“Yes, it was real” Brian said. “Was that your question?”
“It was part of my question. This question is a multi part question.”
Brian smiled to himself “Ok, what’s part B?”
“You know the stuff we talked about, our families and friends, the secrets we shared. You know that was personal stuff that I never shared with anyone else ever. Was that the same with you?”
“Yes, I’ve never before in my life shared my childhood or family with anyone, not even Mikey who’s been my friend since we were fourteen.”
Justin hit him with the final part of the question. The deal maker or breaker however you want to look at it. “The truth now Brian, do you love me? I mean love me like you might if you were looking for a life partner, a friend, a lover everything in one person.”
Brian was silent for so long Justin was afraid he wasn’t going to answer. Brian had never lied to him. He turned in the strong arms that held him and let his love filled watery eyes look directly into matching hazel ones. Brian was trapped under the trusting gaze. He had never before lied to Justin and he couldn’t begin now. “I love you like I would a life partner, a friend and a lover. I love you with my entire soul but I’m letting you go Justin. You have to understand that and you have to understand my reasons why.”
It was all Justin wanted to hear. He snuggled into Brian’s arms. “Hold me one last time Brian. Hold me all night so I’ll never forget the feel of your arms.”
Brian held him close amazed when Justin fell asleep. He was sure he would never sleep again without his ‘Sunshine’ in his arms.