Sealed with a KisS - 2 - Athens Greece – 7 years ago “I’m so nervous Justy, what if something is wrong with our baby. Maybe he is deformed and that is why he is so large.” Angelina rubbed her hands over her bulging tummy. She lay on a high table in a room full of machines. Justin stood beside her, a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “Angel, I’ve told you a thousand times, our baby is fine, he’s probably normal sized, but you are so tiny he looks bigger.” They both looked up as Angelina’s doctor entered the room along with the technician who would be doing the sonogram. “Angelina, dear, you look rested.” The doctor observed. “I wasn’t sure that coming here so soon after that wonderful wedding was wise, but I see from the tests that you are holding your own quite nicely.” The doctor nodded to Justin. The old family friend still was unhappy with the young American who had appeared on the scene and swept Angelina off her feet and unwisely caused her to become pregnant. “You would think that young people these days would understand about safe sex and not be indiscriminately having intimate relations without protection.” These thoughts flashed through his mind as it usually did when he saw the two of them together – which he did for each and every one of Angelina’s appointments, “did the young man think that his bride would disappear if he let her be without him for one moment?” he wondered. The technician was all business and soon was running a gel covered instrument over Angelina. The baby popped into view, and Justin looked hard at the strange shape. “Is this my baby?” he wondered and looked shocked but stayed quiet. “Oh for heaven’s sake” the doctor muttered. “The two of you are never satisfied. Angelina you are carrying twins. This isn’t good. It’s bad enough I find you pregnant, but to carry twins. We should really consider terminating one of them if you insist on having a baby in your condition. Two would tax your strength beyond what could reasonably be expected for your heart to handle.” He looked at her. “I will discuss this with Tomas.” Justin was about to say something when the old man learned first hand the ire of a mother having a child threatened. “You will do nothing. I am a married woman and it is only my husband you will discuss my case with. As for our children, if you feel you are unable to handle this taxing pregnancy, now is the time for you to leave. I will find another doctor to help us.” Her voice was steely hard and unlike any tone of voice Justin had ever heard come out of her mouth. “I would suggest that you make your decision now, because I will have our two babies in only a few months. If I have to spend the time until their birth in bed and under competent medical care, then that is what will be done.” She sat up on the narrow bed. “Justin, help me get dressed, we are leaving this place.” She turned to the doctor. “You have until I leave this room to make your decision and not one moment longer.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 5 months later – the villa – Greece “Angelina, precious, you should be in bed.” The papery thin voice of her grandmother could barely be heard over the household sounds, that’s how quiet her voice was. The once vivacious woman who bristled with life, lay dying in her vast bed. The midnight blue of the sky filled with a myriad of stars beckoned to the old woman, for that was her Heaven, the Heaven of the Church and her childhood. Angelina, heavy with child, and weak from being in bed so many weeks moved slowly into the room. Her feet and ankles swollen so thick that it was a wonder her translucent skin didn’t burst open from the pressure. She sat gratefully in the chair beside her grandmother’s bed and struggled to control her heart beat and to catch her breath. When she could speak, she took her grandmother’s hand. “I could never leave you without saying goodbye. I felt, so far away in my room, I felt mamma coming to help you and I knew that I had to see you one last time.” “Your Justin will not be happy with you.” Her grandmother teased and a glimmer of the old sparkle flashed across the tired face. “You know my Justy sleeps soundly, he never stirred when I left our bed.” “He is a good man Angelina, he has gone beyond any expectations that your father and I had of him.” “My biggest regret Grandmother is the promise I made to him about contacting his family. I think he needs to forgive them and I know he needs them in his life.” She looked at her Grandmother, whose eyes were shut, though she wasn’t sleeping. “I will break that promise grandmother when my time comes.” “I was hoping you would granddaughter.” The silence in the room was heavy. “Have you and Justin decided on names for your babies?” “One will be named for a friend of Justy’s, Michael.” “I remember Justin telling us about Michael. He is Brian’s best friend from childhood.” “Yes, and he proved to be a friend to Justin when he was needed. I think Justin secretly hoped Michael would tell Brian about his leaving and that Brian would sweep in on his white horse and rescue him.” “Instead it was Tomas, your father who rescued him and we are grateful for that. For now Justin is in our lives and you are carrying his children. You are giving him a wonderful gift my Angel.” “Justy has given me much more Grandmother. Our second son we will name for Grandfather and father. Stephano being father’s middle name and grandfather’s first one.” She looked sad. “I wanted Justy to name him Brian, but he said there would only be one Brian for him.” She sighed “Will it ever get easier for him grandmother?” “Perhaps with time.” was the answer. “I have left this house to Justin and all the contents. It was a gift to me from your father and I think Justin deserves it and your father agrees. We had the papers drawn up a few months ago.” “Angel baby, come to bed.” Justin stood silhouetted in the door way for a moment before going over to kiss the old lady. “Madam, you must sleep, we want you to get better.” Angelina and her grandmother exchanged glances that spoke volumes. They both knew the old lady was never getting any better, but Justin, ever the romantic, hated to acknowledge these things. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ One year later – Greece The sun was close to setting. Justin was at his easel just outside of Angelina’s room painting the two babies who lay on their backs on a blanket on the floor, their feet kicking the air, separate but every now and then they would let their hands touch as if reassuring each of their presence. Angelina reclined on a bed of pillows in a large wicker chaise beside her children. The birth had been harder on her than she cared to admit and she not only had spent the duration of her pregnancy confined to her room, but now a few months later, she still didn’t have the strength to do much more than watch her boys and her husband. “Angel, you look beautiful sitting in this light.” Justin said to her. He watched her face light up with pleasure at his compliment and he went over to kiss her cheek. “We make beautiful babies.” Justin sat down beside her on the large chaise and gathered her into his arms, a frown passed fleetingly over his features, she was wasting away to nothing. “Justy, today when Nanny brought the boys to me, I was afraid I couldn’t tell them apart. What if we mixed the two of them up?” It was a constant worry for her though Justin explained often his solution. “That’s why Mikey has a tiny ‘x’ tattooed on his heel” he looked at her. “You know when I grew up, my grandmother would always put an ‘x’ on my birthday cards, she said she was sealing it with a kiss, so that’s why I chose an ‘x’.” Angelina giggled. “You just didn’t want to mix them up yourself.” “Well, that too.” Justin laughed. “I’m sure as they get older they’ll have some kind of different traits, but so far, they pretty much look like every other baby, kind of bald and fat.” “They’re beautiful. They’ll have your blond hair and if the gods are smiling on them, it will be curly.” “What, you don’t like my hair?” Justin pretended to be hurt. His hair was longer than he usually kept it and it fell in straight silken strands almost to his shoulders. “Brian used to hold me and comb his fingers through my hair. We would lie on the sofa, I’d have my head in his lap while we watched a movie and he’d comb his fingers through my hair. I wonder if he’d like it this long, or if he’d think it some kind of artistic affection.” “He’d probably realize that you were too lazy to get it cut.” Angelina said. “I’m not too lazy, I’m content to spend my time here with you and the boys, I don’t want to leave you for a moment.” “Justy, we’d be alright. Poppa and Grandmother would be sad to think you never leave this house.” “Tomas and madam are in heaven playing poker with their friends, they have no time to look down on us and wonder why I don’t go to Athens.” “Perhaps, but you can’t put off the Athens trip any longer. You know that your signature is required for the properties under the terms of the wills.” She looked up at him, and snuggled a bit closer. “Perhaps you could spend some time at one of the clubs, find someone to make you forget your responsibilities for a few minutes. I hate to think of you trapped here with us.” “I’m where I want to be Angel.” Justin did hate to leave her for any length of time in her precarious position. She wouldn’t be alone with the twins, but he was afraid she would try to do too much without him to watch her. The passing of her grandmother suddenly just before the birth of the boys, combined with her father’s unexpected death in a car accident a month later, had left Angelina more fragile than ever, emotionally as well as physically. “Justy, you called him again last night.” She said softly. “Why don’t you write to him and explain your life?” Justin sighed. “I needed to hear his voice, even if it was only the answering machine.” He laughed. “I am such a pathetic loser.” “No, just someone who is still in love with a dream and who is afraid to make it a reality.” “Brian has moved on with his life Angel, and look at us – we certainly have a very full life – the four of us.” “But it isn’t who you are, or what you want.” It was an old argument and Angelina knew she would never win it. “I made a deal with your father. A deal is a deal. I will honor my marriage vows and you will never shed a tear over me.” Justin said, his voice reflecting his stubbornness. “Promise me that you will find him when I’m gone?” she asked. “I want you around for a long time Angel.” Michael began to cry and his cries were quickly taken up by Stephano. “Our babies need some attention.” He said and he picked up Michael and took him to the nursery, returning for Stephano immediately, less the twin become too upset of the absence of his brother. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Pittsburgh – the day after the magazine article was found Brian was sitting in his office trying to decide whether or not to fly to Greece in an attempt to pry out of the publisher the location of the shoot, when Cynthia appeared in his doorway. “This came for you special delivery.” She handed him a package about a foot square. The return address said Angelina Taylor then the ink was smudged and he could only read the words Greece but that was about it. On the front it was addressed to Brian Kinney at Vanguard with the words ‘Please Forward” in thick marker. If ever there was an omen this had to be it, Brian thought. Carefully Brian peeled away the brown wrapping paper to reveal a small framed sketch with an envelope taped to the back. He looked at the sketch first, it was done from memory, of that he was sure. It showed him sitting on the park bench where he used to sit with Justin when they took Gus for a walk in the park. He was leaning forward, his elbows on his knees smiling at something, probably Gus and Justin playing in the sand box, if he remembered correctly. The date in the corner was only a few months ago. Justin still thought of him. The envelope was heavy paper and it had his name on the outside in a fine script. Brian lifted the sealed flap carefully and pulled out the single sheet of paper. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dear Brian: I call you Brian, because I feel I know you well. My husband has never stopped talking about you from the first day I met him. Yes we are married, but it isn’t quite traditional, circumstances made it this way and Justin, well, if you remember him at all, you know he is a kind and generous soul. I’m writing because I will be leaving my beautiful Justy soon. It can’t be helped and I can feel my time here on earth drawing to a close. My darling husband will be alone. He has made few friends here because he insists on staying at home with me. I can’t bear to think of him having to endure what will happen next without someone of strength for him to lean on. Can you find it in your heart to come here, if only for a few weeks? No matter what you feel for him, my Justy has never stopped loving you and I know that your support at this time of sorrow for him would be appreciated. Am I asking too much of you? Please forgive me if I am, but I am so afraid for him. There is very little that I can do from this room that has become my prison, but this one thing, I beg of you to consider my plea. He knows nothing of my letter, it is the first time I have gone behind his back, but I refuse to feel guilty. Sincerely Angelina Taylor PS – our home is filled with your likeness, you are his muse. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Later that evening Brian watched as Michael let the final person into his loft. The whole family was there and it was crowded. No one minded as Brian very rarely ever called them together; the last time was seven years before when Justin’s letter to Michael had arrived. Brian stood by the silent television screen and everyone focused on him. He was looking unusually crumpled, as if he’d fallen asleep in his clothing. His hair stood on end, and when he began to nervously comb his hand threw it, they all realized why. “I received a letter today, along with a sketch that Justin has done. The letter is apparently from his wife.” He waited for everyone’s astonished gasps to quiet down. “Here’s a copy.” He passed out photocopies to everyone, and then walked over to stand by Jennifer Taylor, his hand on her shoulder for reassurance. The room was silent while everyone read the letter. “What does she mean?” Michael asked. “I think she is dying and she is afraid that Justin will take it hard and he’ll be alone.” Brian said simply. “We can’t let him be alone.” Michael declared and this sentiment was echoed by the entire room. “We all know that he felt unwanted when he left and part of that was a product of the bashing, Ben explained it to all of you the last time. There has to be some way we can support him.” “I’m leaving for Greece tomorrow” Brian said quietly. “I will pay for any or all of you who want to come with me.” “I’m going too Daddy.” Gus declared. “Justin is like a missing father to me.” Gus had grown up with Justin stories told to him by all of his family. He’d come to think of Jennifer Taylor as an honorary grandmother and Molly as an older sister. He was very serious about thinking of Justin as the father who left without saying goodbye. “Ben and I will pay our own way and we’ll pay for Ma and Vic.” Michael declared, Ben held his hand and nodded his agreement. “I have Lindsay and Gus covered Brian.” Melanie said. “But if you can take Gus with you now, we’ll follow in a few days; I can’t get away this quickly. “Emmett and I can buy our own ticket Brian, but thanks for the offer.” Ted looked at his partner. “What do you say Em, can we get things together in three days?” Emmett smiled up at Ted and nodded, too emotional to talk. “Brian, Molly and I would like to travel with you and Gus if you don’t mind. I have enough air points that our tickets will be more than covered.” “That’s settled then.” Brian pulled out his phone and relayed the ticket purchase instructions for himself and Gus along with Jennifer and Molly.” In a few moments he was able to tell them that they were leaving on the six o’clock evening flight the next day. “Brian smiled at Jennifer. “I think you know by now that I don’t want to piss around with flight points, your tickets are covered, my treat.” “We’ll discuss it later Brian.” Jennifer admonished. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ “Daddy, momma said she’s going to live with the Angels soon.” Mikey sat on Justin’s knee and snuggled in close. “We want her to stay with us.” “Yeah, daddy, we don’t care if she has to stay in bed all the time. We can be really, really quiet like mice and we promise to never ever fight.” “I don’t want her to go either, but her heart is very tired and worn out.” Justin began “Is it because she loves us? Is it our fault her heart is wearing out?” Two pairs of tear filled brown eyes looked at him. “Are you guys kidding?” Justin asked. “It’s because of the two of you and the love she has for all of us that she’s been able to stay with us this long. I think our love helped to glue her old heart together.” “Can we get better glue?” Stephi asked. “No, remember your airplane. Remember how every time we fixed it up with glue, it broke just that much faster, the parts were just not strong enough even when we bought the best glue we could get in Athens. One day we couldn’t fix it any more.” He looked at the two boys who nodded their heads with understanding. “It’s like that with momma’s heart, we’ve held it together with the very best love glue that we could give her, but it’s wearing out and soon all the love in the world won’t be able to fix it.” Justin blinked back his tears; he didn’t want to cry now in front of the boys. “Momma said that when she is in heaven she’ll be able to dance and run for hours and hours. She said she will hardly ever sit still and never sit in an old bed ever again, but that she’ll watch over us every single day from her favorite cloud.” Mikey looked up at Justin. “That would be very nice for her daddy.” “She said that she will be invisible but that every time we run, she’s going to be running beside us.” Stephi added. “I’m going to like that.” Justin was unable to speak, his throat was closed with sorrow, but he kissed each boy on the top of their golden curls. Finally he was able to say. “Why don’t the two of you go down to the village tomorrow and play in Alex’s garden. You can have some ‘away’ time and make lots of noise and be silly.” “Maybe Alex will let us wait on the customers.” Mikey said. The old family friend and owner of the small hotel and restaurant sometimes let the boys pretend to be waiters when it wasn’t too busy and he had understanding customers. “If he does, you boys remember to give any tip money to old Marie; she is saving for a thick winter blanket.” Marie Papadopolus was mentally addled, and the village saw that she was looked after. The boys had always been kind to the old woman and often brought her presents. “Can we buy momma a flower and then give Marie the money?” Mikey asked. “We want to buy her a spray of jasmine. Cook said there was some in the flower shop.” “Of course you can buy your momma a flower. She will like that.” Angelina was barely able to hold her head up and then only for a moment. She was too weak to leave her bed and had constant care now twenty four hours a day. Justin knew in his heart that it was only a matter of days before she would leave him. It was times like this when he longed for the strong arms of Brian Kinney, or the gentle voice of his mother. He sighed, wishes and dreams would get him no where, but he couldn’t stop himself especially now. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Brian and Gus and Jennifer and Molly had arrived in the small village after a grueling series of flights and a short boat trip from the main island. They all found their rooms at the top of the quaint inn. “Brian, before we start to look for Justin’s home, I have to sleep for an hour or two. It wouldn’t hurt any of us for that matter.” Jennifer did look exhausted. “When we do find him, things will be emotional enough without us all being exhausted. I think a rest would be the best. We can meet down in the restaurant in three hours.” Brian checked his watch and headed into his rooms, Gus following close behind him. Brian kept the door between their rooms open, checking on Gus every now and then. He lay on the bed and tried to formulate some kind of plan for finding Justin’s home and letting him know that he and the others would be there for support. Absolutely nothing came to mind and he fell into a restless sleep. Gus woke up and was hungry. He went into his father’s room and saw that Brian was sleeping. He knew that his father hadn’t slept at all since Angelina’s letter so he tiptoed out of the room and went downstairs to find something to eat. Gus walked down the stairs into the foyer. The dining room appeared empty and he wasn’t sure if he should just go inside and order. He looked around and spotted a couple of tables with people eating in the garden so that’s where he headed. Gus looked older than the almost eleven he was because of his height he inherited from both his father and his mother. He sat at the table and waited patiently for a waiter. To his surprise two identical small boys approached him. They both had curly blond hair and sparkling brown eyes. “Hello, I’m Michael, and I’m Stephano” the boys said. “We are your servers today.” Then they both giggled. “What’s your name?” The two of them repeated what they had just said in Greek and then said. “Greek or American, we were guessing American.” Gus grinned at the two of them. “My name is Gus. Aren’t you guys kind of young to be working?” “We have a big brother called Gus” volunteered one small blond. “He’s not really our brother, but our poppa gave him his name when he was born and he told us lots and lots of Gus stories, so we call him our big brother.” The other boy offered his information. “Really” said Gus. Justin had named him and his father had told him the story so often he found it hard to believe there would be another Gus named by another absent man. “Our poppa told us about the handsome Prince, that’s Gus’ daddy. He has brown hair with shiny bits of copper in it and he has gold flecks in his eyes. Our poppa has lots and lots of pictures of him and he showed us.” The boy called Michael looked sad all of a sudden. “Our poppa cries sometimes when he paints the Prince’s picture, we saw him” he looked at Gus. “Someday Stephi and me are going to find the Prince and kick his ass ‘cause he hurt our poppa’s feelings.” “Boy, you’re very brave” Gus tried to control his laughter not wanting to be another Kinney to hurt a Taylor’s feelings. “Now why are the two of you working – does your daddy know this is where you’re spending your day?” “He said we could come down here today and Alex doesn’t mind. It’s ok, we do it all the time.” Michael seemed to be the spokes person for the two boys. “Our momma is sleeping.” “I’m starving Michael and Stephano, what can you bring me to eat?” “Gus, there you are.” Brian wandered out onto the patio, his hair disheveled. “You should have left me a note.” It was only then he noticed two small boys standing by the table, both of them with wide brown eyes filled with a combination of awe and fear. He smiled when one of the boys tugged on Gus’ sleeve for him to bend over. He could hear a loud whisper “Is that really him? Is it the Prince? He’s very big and scary.” This time Gus did laugh out loud. “Dad, I’d like to introduce you to Stephano and Michael Taylor.” “Hey, how did you know our last name?” demanded Stephano. “We would know the two of you anywhere.” Brian said and he squatted down to be on the same level as the boys. “You both look like your father.” “We do not, our poppa has no curls and he has eyes that look like the water – all dark blue and shimmery.” Michael declared. “I bet that you are the artist in the family, just like your daddy.” Brian said. The little boy looked at him suspiciously. “You have smudges on your fingertips, just like your daddy used to. Your name is Michael, is that what your daddy calls you?” “No, he calls me Mikey, ‘cause he said that’s what his Brian called his friend and I’m named for him. That Michael helped my daddy out and he called me Michael to say thank you.” “That’s a wonderful way to say thank you.” Brian agreed. “And then you must be Stephano” he smiled at the other boy. “My daddy calls me Stephi, I’m named for our momma’s daddy, Stephano was his middle name.” He looked at Brian, suddenly shy. “I write stories.” “I bet they are wonderful stories.” Brian stood up. “Why don’t the two of you sit down with Gus and I, we can get to know one another and have something to eat.” “Dad, I think they both want to kick your ass” Gus giggled. “You hurt their poppa’s feelings.” “I’m very sorry boys, I didn’t know. Would it help if I tell him how sorry I am as soon as I see him?” Brian looked at the two boys, who suddenly both teared up, though they tried to be brave about it. “Come here,” Brian sat down on a chair and put a boy on each leg. “Tell Gus and I why you two are so sad.” Jennifer Taylor and Molly entered the garden at that moment and saw Brian with two small boys on his knee. The instant she saw them she knew they were Justin’s sons. Her heart filled with joy at having to grandchildren and sadness that she had missed the first years of their lives. “Hello everyone.” She began. “Oh,” Two pairs of brown eyes looked at her. “It’s Grandma Jen.” Michael and Stephano buried their faces into Brian’s chest, shy all of a sudden. “I bet your daddy has pictures of your Grandma Jen, is that right boys?” they both nodded their heads, though they still had their faces turned away. “Did he tell you about your Aunt Molly because she is here too?” Brian looked at the two women who had become his friends. “Jennifer and Molly, I’d like you to meet Michael and Stephano Taylor. They were about to explain why they are so sad.” At that moment a large man, his shaved head glistening in the afternoon sun, came over to their table with a tray laden with food and drinks. “I would know you anywhere Mr. Brian; though Justin’s pictures don’t do you justice Mrs. Taylor and you two must be Molly and Gus, I’m afraid you are perpetual children at the Taylor villa, at least on the walls.” He laughed at their astonished faces. “I’m Alex and I own this joint, Justin and his family are good friends, I’ve seen your pictures and heard about all of you for years. Now eat up, I’m sure you’re hungry.” “Poppa is going to be so happy you came to visit.” Stephano offered quietly. “Yes, and momma will be happy too.” Michael added. Both their faces fell. “Momma is going to Heaven soon. She’s going to be a real Angel.” No one knew what to say to that. The children were so matter of fact about their mother’s impending death. “Tell me about your momma” Jennifer said. She watched the two boys snuggle closer into Brian, trusting him fully. “Our momma has real long hair, it’s all curly and when she is having a happy day and sits in the pink chair, her hair stretches down to her bum.” Offered Michael. “Our momma sings songs on the happy days and she smiles quietly on the sad days.” He looked at all of them. “She has a sunshine smile like poppa.” Stephano’s voice was quiet. “She lets me paint her picture and doesn’t mind when the color looks funny.” Michael added. “Our momma lets us snuggle close to her on the bad sad days and we have naps in the afternoon even when we are big boys. Poppa has naps with us too and he’s a real big boy, he’s a poppa.” Stephano looked at Gus, his voice was solemn, “Gus, did you know that our love glue has kept momma’s heart working for a long, long time? Poppa said he learned about heart glue from your daddy. He said that it was your daddy’s heart glue that kept his heart patched together and now that he has us, it will never fall apart again.” He looked pensive. “Except momma’s heart wore out anyway.” “Hey little brothers, that happens sometimes. But now that I’ve found the two of you I can help keep you two strong.” Gus looked at his father for reassurance that what he was saying would be true. “We will all stick together boys.” Brian said. All of a sudden he could feel a long forgotten feeling in the pit of his stomach, a pricking along his spine and he knew that Justin was close by. He turned his head around slowly and instantly his eyes locked with the grief laden ones of the man he loved. Justin looked older and sadder, but he was still Justin. “Boys, you talk to your Grandma Jen and Molly and Gus for a few minutes, maybe explain to them what some of this food is. We don’t eat like this in Pittsburgh.” “Ok daddy Brian.” Michael said and hopped down to take his own chair at the table, followed by his brother who first kissed Brian’s cheek softly before joining his brother. Brian rose from his chair and walked into the darkened interior of the hotel. Justin had retreated to the front door. He looked like he was about to bolt. In a few strides Brian was behind him. He wrapped his arms around Justin, then slowly turned him until they were facing each other and Brian kissed his forehead. “Come up to my room Sunshine, we need a few moments of privacy before we join the group on the patio.” Brian’s words showed his concern and he led Justin up the narrow stairs and into his room. They were barely in the door when Justin collapsed in his arms sobbing and Brian held him tight whispering words of comfort. It was almost ten minutes before Justin was able to pull himself together enough to ask “Why Brian, how did you know I needed you?” “Your wife loves you very much, enough to break a promise and reach out to me.” Brian stated simply. “I’ve looked for you since the week you left. You have an amazing ability to disappear.” “You looked for me?” Justin’s voice wobbled. “Every day.” “Why?” “Because I love you.” “You do?” Justin’s voice betrayed his disbelief. “Yeah, I do and if you’d given me half a chance to get my shit together and stop listening to everyone else in my life, I would have told you.” “My life is so fucked Brian, you have no idea.” Justin began. “You have two wonderful, smart little boys.” “Yes, and my best friend, their mother is dying, I doubt she’ll last more than forty-eight hours, if that. I shouldn’t even be here now, I should be with her, but she insisted that the boys have some fun this afternoon and they can’t do that in a house where their mother is dying.” “You’ll have to tell me how you managed to find yourself a wife and have the twins. I’m sure it’s an interesting story.” Brian teased “I did explain to you about safe sex didn’t I when we were together?” “It seemed like a good idea at the time.” Justin said. “How was I to know that I was going to make two babies all at once?” Brian almost laughed at Justin’s tone of voice; it reminded him of his explanation for his run away trip to New York a thousand years ago. Brian sat down on the sofa and pulled Justin down beside him. “The next little while is going to be a bad time for you Justin. The whole family is coming to be with you.” “Everyone?” Justin’s voice trembled with emotion. “Everyone.” Brian answered. “It’s what families do Justin. We stick together.” “But I left you, I left everyone and I never let anyone know where I was.” “You were hurting when you left and I bet that you found the longer you were gone, the harder it was to call any of us.” Brian put his arm around Justin’s shoulder and pulled him close. Brian let his hand rub circles on Justin’s arm while the younger man thought about the events of today. “Brian, I love her. I love Angel.” He paused. “No I’m not straight and I’m not bi. It was a one time thing that just happened and the boys were the result. But she’s strong and brave in lots of ways that I’m not. We have fun together and she’s been a good friend to me. She’s listened to me ramble on for hours about you and the rest of the family, about the bashing and about my dad. I guess Angel has been like having my own personal shrink.” Justin sighed and continued. “When we found out she was pregnant, I couldn’t let her have the baby alone. We knew then that she only had a short life span, there were no guarantees about anything and she insisted on having the baby. She knew the risks and she wanted to give me a child, a child to remember her with. When our baby turned into two babies, I was so scared. I used to phone your number to listen to your voice on the answering machine and try to gain some strength to carry on.” He looked at Brian. “I know it was pathetic, but I thought you were with Michael.” Justin thought for a moment and then asked. “Are you with Michael? I saw the two of you in a museum in New York once.” “We were looking for you. I’m not with Michael, he’s my friend, and he’s in a loving relationship with Ben. The two of them will be here in a few days and you’ll meet Ben, he’s a good guy to have around in a crisis, he’s very level headed.” “So you never had Michael?” “Never.” Brian stood up and pulled Justin up too. “I think you should get back to your Angelina, do you want me and your mother to keep Stephi and Mikey for awhile, or should we all go with you?” “Could you come to the house Brian, all you can stay at the villa, there’s lots of room. Alex will bring your things.” “Are you sure Justin?” “Angelina will be happy to know her little plan has worked. She loves to hear the sound of the children’s laughter. Her own mother died from this same disease and she refuses to allow our children to be sequestered away from her. She has good days and bad days and we have our ways of dealing with both.” He wiped a tear from the corner of his eye. “I’m afraid that it’s all going to be bad days though, she’s very weak, her heart is hardly working at all.” “Why don’t we go down to the rest of them and tell everyone of what’s up. Should I have your friend Alex arrange to have our meals sent to your home, there will be a lot of people to feed?” “Brian, I have more servants and money than I know what to do with. My little house has eleven bedrooms, I’m sure I haven’t been in every room. It was left to me by Angel’s grandmother along with enough money to support my art habit until the day I die.” He looked sad when he said the word ‘die’, it brought things too close to reality. Brian was happy for Justin’s financial situation. It was one thing he didn’t have to worry about for his blond love. He wished he could sweep him off of his feet and into bed, but he knew Justin’s loyalty to his wife would never allow him to do such a thing and Brian respected that part of Justin’s makeup. “Justin” Brian held out his hand and Justin stood up and slowly put his hand in Brian’s(,) their fingers linking with the familiar tingle that had always been there between the two of them. Hand in hand they walked down the stairs. As they reached the bottom stair Brian stopped and looked at Justin. He gave his hand a gentle squeeze and said. “I will be there for you now and for the rest of your life if you let me. Don’t forget it Justin. What ever happens from this point on, we’ll deal with it together.” Brian brushed his lips against Justin’s sealing his promise with a soft caress of their lips. Justin and Brian walked back into the garden. Stephi and Mikey were talking non stop to Gus and Jennifer and Molly. “Poppa, look our brother Gus is here and Grandma Jen and Aunt Molly, we have a whole family.” Both Stephano and Michael were talking at once. “Can we go home and see momma now. She has to meet everyone otherwise when she is in heaven, how will she know who to watch over.” Stephano reasoned. He was the logical one of the two. “Your momma is resting now Stephi, why don’t we bring our family home and get them settled into their rooms. Later they can all take turns having a short visit with your momma.” “Can Gus have one of the rooms near ours?” Michael asked. “He paints and we have lots of things to share.” He looked at his brother. “Stephi can watch and Aunt Molly too if she wants to.” “Why don’t we let everyone chose their own room. It will be nice to see them occupied.” Justin said as he leaned over and kissed his mother whispering. “I’m sorry mom” Jennifer looked at her son, who had grown up so fast. “I know you are Justin,” she blinked back tears. “What happened in the past is just that, past. From this moment on we are looking toward the future.” She gave him a quick hug and stood up. “I understand I have a daughter-in-law to meet.” She winked at Justin, “I always thought he’d be about six four and have hazel eyes.” “Mooom” Justin rolled his eyes and Brian laughed. “Don’t embarrass Sunshine Jen; he’s all grown up now.” Brian rumpled his long hair, leaving his fingers in it a fraction longer than necessary. He felt Justin’s body melt into his and he put his arm around the blond’s shoulder to steady him. “Justin, Michael and Stephano are going to take Gus and I to your place now. We don’t want to wait.” Molly said and for the first time Justin realized that the little sister he’d left behind was now a young woman and he smiled shyly at her. “Thanks Molly, for coming here. I really appreciate it.” “You’re my brother and you needed your family, of course I’d come. Even if you’re a selfish little shit who never wrote us.” Molly led the way out of the garden and into the hotel, Stephano holding her hand. Michael and Gus followed behind her, talking about the different colors of the local sea and how to blend the basics to reach each color. “Molly’s right, it was selfish of me to never contact you.” Justin looked at the ground. “We all make mistakes in life Sunshine; even I’ve made a few. Sending you away that day was the biggest mistake of my life. I’ve learned from my mistakes and I’m sure that you’ve learned from yours.” “You have no idea Brian.” Justin shook his head. “But I’m not going to be able to do much about my mistakes right now. Right now all that’s important is Angelina and making her last days as pleasant as possible.” ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Angelina lay in her bed, the luxurious canopy of silk shimmered in the sunlight that managed to filter through the layers of gauzy curtains on the windows. The doctor had wanted her to be moved to a hospital or have a hospital bed moved into her room, but Justin had insisted that she be allowed to end her life in luxury the same way she began it. It was a time of reflecting for the young woman, so seldom did she have any moments alone these days. Angelina enjoyed the solitude when she could get it. Never would she tell her Justy that she needed to be alone and never would she deny her children the opportunity to visit with her, no matter how ill she was. Angelina’s eyes glanced over at the easel that stood by the window. Justin was painting yet another picture of her. He insisted that there could never be too many and the boys would appreciate them later. If she had the strength she would have shaken her head at this latest painting. Justin had once again painted her as his eyes saw her and not as she really looked. Justy her romantic, loyal, funny and loveable gay boy, he would always be that for her. She wondered if her feeble attempt to locate Justin’s Brian had been successful and if he still felt enough for her husband to come to Greece and be with him. She should never have left the sending of the picture and the letter so late. She let her mind wander back over their years together. The happy times and the times filled with tears. Her handsome blond husband had been a pillar of strength for her. She remembered him standing by her head when the boys were delivered. The tears they shared at the birth of their sons. Her whole life seemed to have taken place in this bedroom, but once the boys had arrived her strength had begun to diminish. It was a rare day when she was able to venture out of the beautiful room that Justin had created for her. Angelina shut her eyes, she didn’t need to see to remember Michael and Stephano’s first steps over by the tall mirror, or the fun they had discovering the boys reflected in it. Her body could feel the warmth of Justin’s as he held her each night until she fell asleep. She could feel the softness of the babies’ breaths when Justin would tuck them in beside her. The voices and the images of the videos that Justin would show her – he made sure that she was included in all aspects of their son’s lives, and she was sure the video camera was part of Justin’s everyday equipment. Children’s laughter, first day at Pre School, first day at their kindergarten, pretending to be waiter’s at Alex’s restaurant. Justin had made sure that her life was full and exciting these past years and now it was her turn to do something for him. Angelina prayed that Brian Kinney would answer her plea. The dark haired Angel drifted off again, her dreams filled with her husband and children. “Shhhhhhhhh” Michael said his finger to his lip. His stance was echoed by his brother. They were leading Molly and Gus into their mother’s room. Both Gus and Molly could see evidence of Justin in the room, from the pictures on the walls to the placement of everything the young woman in the bed could want. The nurse who sat just outside the room shook her head at the children, but she smiled. Nothing was going to prolong the little one’s life inside the room; she might as well have her family there when ever she could. “She looks like a fairy princess” Gus whispered. “She’s beautiful.” Molly added in a whisper. “Children, come in, come in,” Angelina’s voice was soft, but they could all hear it. The twins ran to the bed and carefully climbed on, one on either side of their mother. They rested their blond heads on the pillows and gently kissed her cheeks. “We sorry we woke you momma.” Stephano said. “We brought our brother Gus and our Aunt Molly to say hello. Poppa says they can stay at our house. We have a whole big family today.” Angelina sent a silent prayer of thanks to the gods. “Is Brian here?” she asked, her voice weaker. Molly and Gus looked at each other. They both could see how frail the young woman was. “Yes Mrs. Taylor, Gus answered. He and Justin and Grandma Jen are just slower than we are.” “Gus and Molly, you both look like I imagined you would.” She smiled up at them. “Boys, find your brother and your aunt a nice room now will you, I’m sure they are tired from their journey.” The two older ones, knowing that Angelina needed to rest both pretended great fatigue. “We want Gus to stay near us.” Michael looked at them both. “Aunt Molly can too.” He didn’t want her to feel left out. They both kissed their mother once again and scrambled down from the bed. “Later momma.” They cried as they left the room. Angelina’s eyes shut, it was almost time to join her family, she was so tired of living now. She’d tried to explain it to Justin once, but he didn’t understand. It was that day that she sent the picture and letter off to Brian. The nurse came into the room to check her vital signs and Angelina whispered. “When Brian Kinney arrives, please send him in alone.” “Mrs. Taylor, you really have had enough excitement for now, perhaps in an hour or two, when we see a little bit of an improvement in these.” She tapped the notebook where she had written down the information she’d gathered. “No, send him in as soon as you can.” For someone so fragile, her voice could sound like steel when she wanted something. Justin and his mother and Brian were just then arriving. Jennifer and Brian both were astonished at the size of the place. It seemed to go on forever perched on the top of a steep cliff overlooking the ocean. They both had thought they were prepared for the grandeur of the villa, because they both had the magazine pictures memorized. But somehow, seeing themselves larger than life in some cases, on the walls of Justin’s home, was almost intimidating. “Mr. Taylor, your wife would like to see Mr. Kinney now, alone please sir.” The nurse looked at Justin apologizing wordlessly that his wife chose to see another man at a time like this. “Brian?” Justin said a question in his voice. “Will you see her?” “Of course.” Brian looked at the nurse. “Show me Angelina’s room.” Justin and his mother trailed behind Brian as his long legs covered the distance up the stairs to the suite of rooms that were Angelina’s. Brian walked inside with confidence only to stop when he saw Justin’s wife and realized that all the words in the world could never prepare you to look at a beautiful woman ravaged by illness. Brian’s well used mask stayed in place and he smiled at her. “I see why Justin couldn’t resist your charms, with a beauty such as yours; I might have tried the straight life.” He walked over and kissed her on her parched lips. He felt in his pocket for the small pot of lip balm he had for Gus and opened it, then gently smoothed some on her once full lips. “Sorry, bubble gum flavor is the only one I have.” He smiled. Justin and his mother stood in the door way watching and unashamedly eavesdropping. “Oh Brian, you came.” She breathed. “Thank you.” Tears began to overflow. Brian reached into his pocket and pulled out a linen hanky and wiped her tears. They continued to flow and Brian was afraid she would tax her strength too much so he got up on the bed and pulled her into his arms like he used to do with Justin. “Geeze Angelina, I’m afraid I’m going to break you in half, there’s not much girl under these lacy things you’re wearing.” He joked and she smiled a watery smile, but snuggled in closer and he was reminded of Justin again. “You make me feel safe. Justy said you made him feel safe when you held him.” Her words were said breathlessly. “I guess that’s my role in life, to make you Taylor’s feel safe when I hold you.” He kissed the top of her head. “Of course I never thought I’d be in bed with Justin’s wife.” Angelina gave a gentle giggle. “We are more like a brother and sister” she paused. “Well except for that little slip that made the boys.” Angelina paused again to regain her breathing. “Justin loves you very much, he always has.” “I love him too Angel, I think I always have as well.” “That’s all I’ve prayed for Brian. Now I can go and know that my Justy will have you in his life.” Angelina’s voice had drifted into nothingness as she finished speaking. Brian could feel her body relax in his arms as she fell into a sleep. Brian held the fragile woman in his arms afraid to leave her alone for a moment lest she slip away. He knew what Justin must be feeling and his heart was heavy for the pain Justin had been enduring on his own. Justin and Jennifer watched for a few more moments before slipping out of the room. Somehow seeing the tall handsome man offering the only comfort he could, a piece of himself, was too much for both Taylor’s and they left Brian and Angelina alone in their private moment. Jennifer went to her room, to cry for Angelina and her son. Justin went in search of his children, his heart lighter because the burden he’d been caring was being shared by the man he loved. Even if they never got together as a couple, knowing that Brian cared enough to come to Greece, cared enough to hold his Angel. Just knowing those things would keep Justin content for the rest of his life.