In This Life - I was Loved By You
Author: Moonshadow Woman
Pairings: Brian – Justin – Lindsay – Melanie
Also Appearing – Gus – Emmett – Ted –
Summary: AU (of course) Justin and Brian – hundreds (?) of years in the future – still are destined to be together – if the PTB will allow it in this life.
Rating: most chapters’ language warnings – a few chapters – good old fashioned sex
Disclaimer: I’ve thrown the cast into the future – completely without permission – on a whim – though I do intend to return them – and much as I’d love to make some money – it won’t happen with these guys
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“Shit Lindsay, would you bugger off and let me fly this thing.” Brian looked at his friend, exasperated. Just because they had been friends for years, didn’t mean she was allowed on the bridge of his ship.
“But Brian, you never said it would be this boring. Melanie is still airsick and I’m bored to tears.” Lindsay paced the small bridge, her hands hovering over an interesting bunch of program pads.
“Sit the fuck down Linds - your father paid good money to have you ferried to Andreas - it’s not my fault the warp drive is working at half capacity. If the piece of shit your father has on staff for an engineer knew his job - we’d be there already instead of flying in slow motion.”
“Brian, I don’t know why you’re so hard on daddy, he means well.” She looked out the window at the unfolding universe - it was like a picture in a book - yet it was very real - too real - and she was stuck in the middle of it all, but walking.
“For fuck sake - don’t touch anything.” Brian shouted. Lindsay had been about to tap her fingers impatiently on the keyboard in front of her.
“I wasn’t going to touch it.” Lindsay turned her blonde head away from her friend. “You’re just mad because you can’t use the holodeck for sex anymore.”
“And thank you very much for that Ms. Peterson.” Brian still was fuming about her pissing around with the control panel in his favorite recreation spot. He could fuck the hottest guy, or be sucked off - in out - the minimum of effort - maximum of pleasure and best of all - he could turn the controls off - no apologies and no regrets - but he’d forgotten about it for a few moments.
“How was I to know that it would get stuck on girl - girl tricks?” She demanded. “You know it’s not all that bad.”
“Linds - if that was the case then the gods wouldn’t have made three sexes, male, female and queers.” He looked at her and grinned. It wouldn’t be that long before they’d reach the port at Andreas - he’d have the holo deck fixed and charge it to her father. Maybe even get a few other things fixed at the same time. Her old man would never notice. Brian went back to daydreaming in his comfortable captain’s chair, he programmed in some tunes and was spinning his favorite daydream of a handsome blond twink - he decided today’s daydream would involve the twink begging to pleasure him while chained naked to the foot of his chair - one of his favorite holo deck programs - it will be nice to get that fixed. He reached for his last stick of gange - he looked at it thoughtfully before putting it away - much as he’d love the high right now - he’d learned his lesson the last time he’d lit up and ended up running the ship to the bottom of the Seas of Gemma - that was a bitch to get out of - he was picking bits of algae out of the corners for months - and the smell - well - it wasn’t pleasant.
“Brian baby - that bitch is touching my programming again.” The ships computer spoke into his ear - not for the first time did Brian wish he’d been able to afford male interface instead of this discount female version that’d immediately fixated on him.
“So - you’re smarter than she is - close down the terminal.” Brian sneered. If it wasn’t one thing it was another - three fucking females locked up with him for a month and half now - well one was a computer - but she was just as mouthy.
“She should show me the proper respect - I really don’t like the cargo this time - the small one makes messes all the time - she never hits the out tubes when she’s going to spew - and the tall one is just a bitch - I will refuse to take off if you ever bring her aboard again.”
Brian rolled his eyes and patted the pocket that held his stash - ‘fuck would they ever reach Andreas?” he wondered silently and turned up his music hoping to drown out Reggi’s whining in his ear - of course his implant wouldn’t let that happen - but he could try.
Brian was nicely into his day dream state - his hard cock enjoying his ministrations when Lindsay’s whine penetrated his dream haze.
“Brian, Reggi won’t let me use the com port in the mess - she locked me out.” Lindsay began. She was carrying a mug of something steamy.
“Get off my bridge with liquids - Linds - if I’ve told you once - I’ve told you a hundred times - no liquids on the bridge.”
“It’s just a cup of chai tea Brian.” She turned to sit in the co pilot’s chair and in doing so set the cup full of steaming tea down directly on the control pad in front of the secondary command seat. Immediately, sirens began to go off as the heat from the mug penetrated the soft liquid crystal pads - with the sirens came a scream of pain from Reggi - though Brian thought that was for effect and he was about to ream her a new one when the star craft began to lurch - it was being pulled into the gravity of the planet they were passing.
“Get buckled in Linds - NOW -“ Brian tried to keep calm but he was far from calm - this was worse than any other situation he’d been in. The secondary command post - the liquid crystals were solidifying and in doing so were affecting his own command post. He hit the controls with rapidly moving fingers - there was no time for screaming obscenities at Lindsay, though if they survived this one - she was sooooo going to get it. All previous thoughts of hot blonds with bubble butts and sapphire blue eyes were lost as Brian fought to regain control of his ship. Reggi continued to wail in his ears and he wondered if the bitch was doing her part with the warp drive computer - or was she just having hysterics - this was the last time he was buying a ships computer at the Big Q no matter how much he’d save.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Time seemed to slow down and Brian could only stare in horror as the ship began to spiral through the layers of the small planets atmosphere - he barely registered the colors - though subconsciously he did and he knew that this planet could sustain life - assuming they lived. The ship shuddered once - then twice and a piece actually blew past his window - ‘what the fuck was that?’ went through his mind before he lost consciousness with the heavy G forces that filled the small cabin.
All three passengers aboard the Starship Babylon were mercifully unconscious when the ship entered the final stage of its journey. None of them saw the mountain ranges that they skimmed over - they missed the lush forests and the sparkling green seas - and they missed the puzzled looks on the faces of the inhabitants of the planet as they watched the ship, burning as bright as a star, land in the shallow depths of the largest body of water on the planet Kia. A lucky break for those inside as the cool water extinguished the flames just as they were about to breach the cracked hull. The only casualty was Reggi - who put herself out of her misery and went on standby - something she hated to do - but who knew when the three humans would revive enough to start the manual electrical system and give her enough power to at least operate more than the main support systems.
Melanie - Lindsay’s lover of almost three years was the first to realize that the ship wasn’t flying any longer. She had been desperately space sick from the moment their journey had begun. Waking up with the wall of the cabin, more or less on top of her - was a piece of cake compared to what she had been feeling like. Fucking Brian Kinney hadn’t bothered getting his medical supplies replenished and she’d had nothing to combat the dreaded illness that to her was ten times worse than any sea sickness anyone could ever have. She wasn’t sure what had happened but the fact they weren’t flying was a plus.
Next to wake was Lindsay. She immediately made her way to the rear of the small ship to find her partner. “Mel, Mel?” Lindsay’s voice was frantic.
Mel could only groan, at first, her throat was still raw from vomiting constantly for days on end. “Linds” she felt pathetic but knew the woman she loved would find her.
“Mel, oh baby are you alright?” Lindsay began to pull away the shattered bits of plastic that had made up the wall of the cabin.
“Just get me out of here. What the fuck was Kinney doing? Was he smoking gange again at the helm?”
“No - Lindsay hesitated - the crash was her fault, but she really didn’t want Mel to know. Her lover was a space pilot - that is when she had the drugs that kept her from being ill - and she’d warned her time and time again not to put hot or cold things on the com pads.
Melanie saw the range of emotions that crossed Lindsay’s face and she knew right away that Brian wasn’t the one responsible for their predicament. “Oh Linds, please don’t tell me you ---- she let her voice trail off in silence that was broken only by the loud cursing coming from the bridge.
“Fuck, fuck, fucking gawd damn bitches”
“I don’t think Brian is very happy with you Linds.” Melanie stated dryly.
“Oh my gawd - Brian - I forgot about Brian.” Lindsay turned and hurried back to the bridge of the ship.
“There’s no need to be pissy Brian - Lindsay began “I mean you do have a locator device - it’s only a matter of time before someone picks up the signal.” Lindsay was trying to be reasonable.
“Yes I do have a locator device - look out the window - see those bits of florescent orange - the ones no bigger than a bunch of pebbles - well that’s it.”
Lindsay starred in horror - as far as she could see floating on the shallow waves were bits of bright orange. “They are supposed to be indestructible.” She whispered.
“Yeah, well consider this, everything that gets built for your father’s company - is built by the lowest bidder - maybe you should take that up with him - oh wait - that would be next to impossible - we’re on a fucking class 4 planet - we’ll be lucky if there are any inhabitants with brains larger than one of those orange pebbles.”
Brian stared gloomily out of the window - he hadn’t moved from his comfortable - somewhat on an angle - commander’s chair. He wasn’t sure he could move - he hadn’t wanted to say anything, but he couldn’t feel his legs - he could see them - yep they were still there - but damned if they’d move.
Brian shut his eyes and tried to concentrate on what they were going to do - he was sure the medical supplies didn’t included a doctor - and even if they did - Reggi appeared to be off line.
“Brian - Brian honey, what are we going to do?” Lindsay asked. She looked around at the devastation and knew without a shadow of a doubt that the Babylon wouldn’t be flying any time soon - if ever again.
“Fucked if I know Linds.” Brian replied, hating that his voice shook. He was twenty nine years old - he was too young to die crippled and with two dykes on an empty planet.
“Maybe daddy will send a search party for us when we don’t show up on Andreas.” Lindsay was hopeful.
“Maybe daddy will - and does he have enough money to search the entire Gamma quadrant?” Brian asked conversationally - “because that’s what he’d have to do - we’ve left no clue as to where we went down.”
Lindsay began to cry. “What have you been saying to her Kinney?” Mel demanded. She was slowly making her way through the mess - she needed to know their situation right away. “Why aren’t you taking a rekkie instead of sitting there like a bump on a log?”
“Why I was waiting for you sweet cheeks” Brian snarked. “Oh - and I can’t seem to move my legs - I didn’t think crawling would get me far - I could be wrong - what do you think?”
Melanie rolled her eyes - “Let me get my medic com - and while I’m searching for that you might try waking up your bitchy ship com.”
“I heard that bitch.” Reggi snarled. She had put herself back online almost half an hour ago. “Brian honey, Reggi thinks you should leave the ship as soon as you can.”
“Why?”
“Reggi thinks you’re sinking deeper into this lake - the bottom is too soft to hold the weight of the ship.” Her voice was sweet as honey. “Reggi says that you should not forget to take her in the portable - she could come in handy you know - this is a class 4 planet and you may need her memory banks.”
“Did I remember to bring your solar battery pack?” Brian asked.
“Of course you did dear - you brought the one in the red case. That’s my favorite.” She paused for a moment “Brian dear - you appear to have a fracture of your # 5 and #10 vertebrae - does it hurt?” she asked.
“Not at the moment - but I haven’t moved.”
“Perhaps I should send the neron waves through the command post and begin the healing of the fractures before you leave the ship” he could hear her humming “There dear - I calculate that you have fifteen minutes before the fractures heal - but only fourteen minutes before we are below the surface of the water.”
“Are the emergency pods still operational?” Brian asked - he could feel a tingling in his back and along both legs - thank you Reggi -
“There are three pods still unbreached - the fourth pod left the ship during our unexpected landing - perhaps you’ll find it eventually.”
Brian rolled his eyes but was thankful for something. He’d been conversing with Reggi through the implant in his ear and brain - it was the only bit of luxury he’d allowed himself when he bought the little thing at the Big Q two years before. Being able to communicate with Reggi without anyone else’s knowledge had proved to be beneficial many times before.
“I’m back and Brian, I’m sorry, I don’t have what we need in my med com.” Melanie truly did look sorry.
“Don’t worry about it Mel - I have a bit of feeling back in my legs - still can’t move much so you girls are going to have to off load a few things - we appear to be sinking - I don’t think we have much time to get to dry land. I’d rather spend my time waiting to be rescued with the sky above my head rather than a bunch of mud and water.”
“Shit Brian - why didn’t you say something” Mel’s eyes looked around wildly - “Linds - stop sniveling, we have things to do and now.” She looked at Brian - where are the emergency pods?”
“The ones we have left are near hatch 12 - you can program the com to keep them together and send them in the direction of the shore - have them move up the beach perhaps a hundred yards - that should get them out of range of any tides - if there are any. I need a few things from my cabin - one of them being the bright red bag that’s stowed under my bed. I have a duffel bag there as well - put what you can find of mine that you think I might want in it please - I’m not sure if I’ll be able to move enough to do anything before we sink.”
Aye, aye Captain.” Melanie replied, relying on her formal training in these moments of stress - “Linds - get a move on - times wasting.” She looked at Brian “I’ll get everything to shore - including Linds and then come back for you.”
“Don’t worry about me - get me the air breather - I’ll get out of Babylon and to the surface eventually” Brian looked hopeful for the first time since he’d regained consciousness.
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Justin looked out over the plains of his home planet with eyes that were blind - yet he knew every inch from the eyes of the desert inhabitants. The barren wasteland appeared sad somehow and for the thousandth time he wondered where it all went wrong.
Turning his back on what had once been a forest rich with trees and other plant life, Justin wiped away a tear at the utter stupidity of it all. Of course for him, an empathic of the ninth degree, the desolation was welcome after spending the past year aboard a starship. The more than two hundred members of the crew, not to mention a dozen dignitaries from various planets - had all served to sap his strength in a way he hadn’t felt since he was a child.
Justin loved his home, built into the side of a cliff and cleverly disguised to be invisible to prying eyes - should there be any foolish enough to cross the Pennsylvania Dessert. To some, living where he did, it might seem a harsh existence, living on the almost deserted planet - alone except for Keisha, a young cougar he’d rescued from certain death when she was a kitten. But to Justin Taylor, hereditary chief of the clan Kyllo, it was his sanctuary.
Walking the length of the main terrace, he kept his hand on top of Keisha’s large sturdy head taking comfort in her rumbling purr. He stopped to look once again at the emptiness, only to have the broad golden head butt against his hip demanding more ear scratches. "More father" Keisha purred.
"Such a demanding girl," Justin said to her - using words for a change instead of their usual method of thought exchange. But he obediently continued to scratch her ears as he reflected on his life up until now.
Justin Taylor was only seventeen - young to have reached the ninth degree of empathic abilities - old to still be without a mate, for the Kyllo selected their mates at an early age. For some reason Justin’s mate hadn’t been selected. It was a complex series of events that determined one’s life partner, for the partner of a Chief was a part of the Chief’s past life, and as such, occasionally required considerable searching to locate. The people of the third planet from the sun were scattered throughout the universe now and most had lost their earthly connections, calling other planets home, and most had lost the ability to bind with their life partner. It was a sad state of affairs, but one that had become more common as the years passed.
"I don’t have a mate either" Keisha reminded her friend.
"I thought we agreed not to eavesdrop on one another’s thoughts." Justin chided the large cat.
“There’s no one else to listen to father- and you’re so sad." The big cat leaned heavily against Justin and purred.
"Do you want a mate now? I can scan for a likely male." Justin offered.
“No father - I feel strange these days--I’ve been dreaming that we have to travel off planet soon - it isn’t the time for a mate.”
"I’ve been bothered by the same dreams" Justin admitted. "Only I feel that my mate is in danger of some kind." Justin shook his head. "Considering I haven’t any idea where my mate is, this dream is annoying."
"We could travel to the city of Pitts; perhaps a dream-weaver in Liberty Square could offer some advice." Keisha loved to visit Pitts, the smells of the city kept her busy for days.
Justin laughed and bent down to kiss the soft fur on the top of her head. “It’s your sweet tooth you want to satisfy; you want to find the lemon slice vendor. Though if you remember he said you weren’t to come back, licking the sweetness off of the trays was a bad kitty thing to do."
Keisha hung her head in embarrassment. "I was only a kitten then - I will apologize to him and play nice." She looked up at Justin. "I could bring him a nice fat prairie dog for his supper.”
"Somehow Keisha, I don’t think he’d like a prairie dog no matter how fresh the kill." Justin thought for a moment. "We did pick up that bolt of shimmer silk on Rya - we could give it to him, he’s really the only one I know who would appreciate it the color changes it makes."
"Then tomorrow father- we can go tomorrow?" the young cat smiled at Justin, her black lips turned up at the corners, her teeth white and gleaming.
“We’ll leave before dawn breaks - the ancient road shadows can be more easily seen at this time."
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Cold wet kisses roused Justin from his slumber - he lay on his bed - dark shadows surrounding him - listening with all of his available senses tuned to the night sounds in and around his him - Justin realized he couldn’t have been asleep long.
“Father?” Keisha rose from her place on the floor beside his bed - instantly the room came into focus as Justin viewed the room through his friend’s eyes.
“Something is happening.” Justin tried to explain - “I feel the weight of water on my body - the kiss of cold lips on my skin” Reluctantly Justin sat up. He sighed deeply - he knew what he had to do - but because it was so soon after his travels in the star ship - He knew he needed help to channel the forces of knowledge to his will. He padded to the doors that led to the terrace off of his bedroom. The cool tile of his floor gave way to the still warm slate of the large terrace where the heat from yesterday’s sun lay trapped in the black stone.
Keisha followed her friend outside - her eyes gazed at the full moon and she smiled - a perfect night for hunting - though she was needed now to hunt in another manner. She watched Justin sit naked and cross legged upon the floor in a familiar pose. Keisha gave a cougar cough deep in her throat to tell anything close by to leave them to their job and she settled down behind Justin, wrapping her body close around his, resting her head in his lap and her tail, the very tip keeping time with his heart beat, flip, flip, flip, curled around them both.
Naked and exposed to the elements Justin called upon his ancestors to help him find the source of his dream. “Oh mighty grandfathers - I beseech you to move through time and space and help me search for that which is troubling me.” Justin’s face was turned up to the sky and Keisha let him see the night stars and the moon. “I call upon you - I am your grandson and ask for your help in this matter for I fear that it could be my soul mate calling to me - time and space has kept our souls from uniting - and I fear for him.”
Through the night air the spirits gathered - the universe is small when time folds upon itself and Justin’s cry for help was heard by all who had gone before him in the Tribe of the Kyllo.
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Brian watched from the command chair as Melanie and Lindsay removed all that they could from the damaged starship. Once he was sure that Reggi’s red travel pack was ashore, he breathed a sigh of relief - without Reggi and her knowledge, they’d be fucked worse than ever.
The Babylon lurched as it settled lower and for the first time Brian could see a line of water across his view port. He tried to move his legs, but they still weren’t stable enough to let him stand upright, let alone maneuver through the debris to the escape hatch.
Without Reggi online, the air was beginning to have a tainted taste - almost coppery and stale. He wondered what that meant. He should have read the manuals that came with the ship instead of depending on his ornery ship com. He almost missed her now that he was alone and she was resting in her red bag.
The ship lurched again with a deep groan and settled even further into the murk. Brian could no longer see the shoreline and he hoped that the ship was at least still water proof. The air was getting worse and he began to feel drowsy, maybe a short nap was what he needed - was the thought that went through his mind as his eyes shut and he drifted off to sleep. The neurons in the med com continued to do their work while Brian slept, but the hull had been breached and slowly, but surely in the lower reaches of the starship, water began to make it’s way in to settle in all the hollows.
Brian dreamt of eyes as blue as sapphires, eyes that filled with laughter, that gazed upon him with love. He felt the warmth of a summer sunrise on a distant planet and comfort of two arms holding him in his sleep. He heard children’s laughter and felt kisses on his skin. He danced with the joy of holding his love in his arms - and he smiled as the blue eyes began to show concern. "Brian wake up, please wake up." A voice begged him, a voice tinged with love and worry.” You must leave the place you are in - quickly my love - quickly." The urgency was heard and Brian slowly opened his eyes hating to leave the dream, where for the first time in his life he was loved and wanted and cared for.
"Fuck" was the only thing he could say - water had reached as high as his chest and the cold he was now feeling had crept into his very bones. “Fuck, fuck, fuck." Brian released the straps that held him in the command chair and he immediately began to float - though it had been years since he’d had the chance to swim - the knowledge flooded back into his mind and he managed with a combination of swimming, walking and pulling himself forward to make it to the closest escape hatch.
He looked at it in horror, he couldn’t believe it, the manual override was hooped and he needed Reggi to open the fucking hatch. And where was that piece of junk ship com? Sitting in a pretty red bag on shore. "Reggi open the fucking hatch" Brian screamed and then listened as the sound reverberated hollowly through the wet ship.
The water rose higher as Brian looked around, nervous now more than before. He shook the handle on the door as if through some miracle it would suddenly open, when suddenly he was plunged into complete and total darkness. The electrical system had either run out of juice or shorted out, but either way he was blind. The once familiar space was now utterly foreign to him and he didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
The water now reached his chin, mysterious things bumped into him and he tried to remain calm though he was screaming inside. Brian clutched the useless handle of the escape hatch - terrified of letting it slip from his hand- because if he did - he knew he’d never find it again.
‘It’s funny’ he thought. 'I can hear a cat purring - not what I expected to hear before death, but interesting’ Too bad he had no way of telling Mel and Linds.
“Brian” his name was a whisper of thought in his head, it wasn’t Reggi - she was turned off and on the beach.
"Brian” the very sound of his name brought comfort; he wouldn’t die alone, even if it was some brain anomaly that was whispering his name. Some kind of split personality thing happening was what he thought.
"Brian, I’m going to help you. Please accept my help," the voice pleaded with him.
"Who ever you are – you can’t help - so get out of my head."
"Are you wearing a belt?"
"You have a sense of humor - I guess that’s a good thing." Brian quipped. "Yes I’m wearing a belt."
"Take your belt off and put it around the hatch handle - it does have a handle doesn’t it?”
"Who are you?"
"We can talk about it later; we don’t have a lot of time here. Brian can you secure your arm to the door handle with the belt? No it isn’t a stupid idea – it’s so you don’t drift away - I think it’s dark where you are – isn’t it?" Justin, though he’d been blind from birth, had always ‘seen’ through other’s eyes - but this was the first time he could only see total darkness.
"Yes its dark" Brian tried to quell a moment of panic - not too successfully.
“It’s alright Brian - are you secured?"
“"I think so, where are you?"
“I’m on planet Earth - in the Alpha quadrant - do you know it?"
“I know earth - that’s where I’m from too - but I haven’t been back for too many years to count.” Brian thought back to his years on Earth - his childhood had been hell - but as he became older - it had improved when he’d met others like him. He shook himself to bring himself back to the present. “You know my name - what’s yours?” And once again he wondered if he’d lost his mind and the stress of being trapped had split his personality.
“Justin Taylor”
The only Taylors I remember are Kyllo - pretty high up there in the ranks of the Tribe from what I recall.”
“So I’ve heard - Justin paused - “Brian - you don’t have a lot of air left - your companions are trying to open the hatch - but I estimate they could take as long as twelve hours - your ship is below the surface of the bottom sediment - all I can see is swirling sand and water - lots and lots of water.”
“I’m not sure how you are seeing anything. I don’t have twelve hours - I guess this it eh?” Brian thought about his life - the things he’d done in the past twenty nine years were many - he’d had a good life - lonely - but good once he’d shed himself of his old man and the were-bitch of a mother he’d had.
“Brian you aren’t going to die - I won’t let you.” Justin’s voice in his head held the conviction of certainty.
“Jay - I don’t think you’ve got a lot of choice in the matter of the demise of Brian Kinney” Brian tried to sound like he didn’t care - he still wasn’t positive this voice in his head was anything more than an overactive imagination - but just in case it wasn’t - he didn’t want this Justin to feel bad about what was inevitably going to happen.
But Justin heard the quaver in voice - and he could see what was in Brian’s mind - though he hated to look - it was such an invasion of privacy - but it was really the only way he could ‘talk’ to the man at the moment. Justin hoped Brian would understand once he realized that Justin could read his mind. “Brian - your companions have wakened the thing called Reggi - it will access the codes to the hatch - but this will take time - they need to clear a path through the mud.”
Justin sighed and hugged Keisha close - he needed her strength for this - he knew she wouldn’t mind - they were close enough he didn’t need to ask. “I want you to trust me - do you trust me Brian?”
“Yes - and strangely enough Brian did trust Justin - this comforting voice in his head. “I’m not crazy am I?” he asked out loud to no one in particular - then coughed when the brackish water filled his mouth. Brian spit it out and panic clutched his stomach in an icy grip.
“Calm Brian - calm” - Justin’s voice was soft and comforting - “feel my fingers at your temples - I’m rubbing soothing circles on them lightly - barely touching - feel Keisha’s fur - you’ll like her - it’s like warm golden sunlight - let Keisha wrap around you and keep you warm - your body is floating - floating close your eyes- your heart rate is slowing - it doesn’t need to work so hard - ‘cause I’m holding you - Keisha is holding you - your breath is soft - your lungs barely move - that’s all that’s needed - so little - but enough to sustain you until your companions can release you.”
“Jay - don’t leave me - don’t leave me here alone” Brian pleaded with his mind - not feeling foolish for the first time since encountering the soft spoken voice that had invaded his head. Somehow Brian knew the voice was real and it made him feel good and he knew that as long as he could hear Justin - he’d survive.
“Never, never will I leave you Brian - I’ve searched for you my whole life - now that I’ve found you - I will be with you forever - in this lifetime and in all others.”
The peace Brian found with these few words filled him with hope and he felt himself relax.
“You still there Boss?” Reggi’s nasal computer voice called in his ear - so different from his new found friend. “Why did you buy this piece of shit starship from that bitch’s father” she muttered to herself knowing full well Brian would hear. “Boss the door is going to open - move away - mud and shit is about to descend on you like I’d like to descend on these two bitches who left you in there.”
Brian barely registered his ship com’s words - the lack of oxygen was critical - he had enough presence of mind to loosen his arm from the door handle and grab onto something nearby with all of the strength that he had left - as with a rush of colder water and mud, everything went blank.
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The watery sun was just beginning to creep over the brown and rocky lumps that had once been majestic mountains filled with trees - the memory of which no longer inhabited anyone’s mind here on Earth. Justin huddled on his terrace, his arm clutched around the sturdy body of Keisha - he couldn’t feel Brian’s presence. Tears streamed down his face, wetting the golden fur - he couldn’t move he was so upset.
“Father - don’t be sad. Keisha will love you.” the cougar turned her head to rasp a rough tongue over Justin’s tear stained face.
“Jay - Jay are you there?” the voice was weak in his head, but deep inside(,) his soul quickened with the words and Justin sat up straight.
“Brian, are you alright?” Justin could see nothing and this alarmed him.
“I thought you’d left me - you promised not to leave me.”
“I’m here Brian - I won’t leave you.”
“I don’t know where I am - I can’t feel anything - I can’t see anything.”
“Can you move?”
“There is no me - I know you are with me - but there is no me.” Brian hesitated. “Jay I think I’m dead.”
“If you were dead - then we would meet again another time. I feel you with me still - you’re in my heart” Justin soothed.
“It’s alright Jay - if I’m dead that is.” Brian felt peace and sense of wonder at what lay ahead of him - but he knew what he’d said to Justin was true - however short their relationship.
“I’ve always loved you Brian - in this life and in many before this - I’m sorry it took so long to find you.”
“Jay” Brian paused “Love is just another four letter word - sure I feel some kind of connection with you - but love - I don’t know what love is - I’ve certainly never experienced it - and if I did - I didn’t know it”
“Brian - let’s leave it at this - Now that I’ve found you - I’ll stay with you - for ever and always -“
“Pretty safe words Jay - you being on earth - and me being stuck on some hole in the wall planet in the middle of no where.”
“I guess I’ll just have to find you then Brian - physically I mean - because I’m not getting any younger and I want to have you in my life in every way possible - not just as some kind of chat buddy - if I’d wanted that I could get on my home com - no I want you as my partner.”
“I don’t ‘do’ partners or ‘relationships’ or even ‘love’ Jay.”
“Pretty safe words Brian - you being on some damn hole in the wall planet in the middle of no where - when I’m on earth.” Justin laughed as he turned Brian’s words back to him.
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“What are you doing Mel?” Lindsay was sitting on a fallen log near where their emergency pods were laying on the beach. Melanie was frantically looking through one of them.
“The Captain’s in trouble - we need to find the auxiliary power pack -“she continued to look. And Lindsay stood and walked over.
“Brian said he’d be fine - it’s just taking him a little longer than he thought to get his legs working - come over here and sit with me.” Lindsay’s hand touched Melanie’s arm.
Melanie shrugged her hand off - “I keep hearing a voice in my head telling me to help the Captain - look for a red pack of some kind - it has to be somewhere around here - what ever is in it should be able to help him.”
Lindsay looked back to where she’d been sitting. The red pack was lodged behind the log she’d been sitting on. She looked at it and weighed her options. She didn’t want anything to happen to Brian - though he shouldn’t have yelled at her - but she also didn’t want to listen to that bitchy slut of a ship com - why couldn’t Brian have spent the extra money for the deluxe version. Lindsay went back to the log and sat down again - she refused to look in Mel’s direction.
Melanie walked over to her - “Lindsay - what have you done with the red pack?”
“Nothing” Lindsay looked out over the water - a few bubbles were rising from about twenty feet out - the ship must have continued to sink - though the water was shallow and she really didn’t understand why it was sinking.
“Lindsay, tell me NOW!” Melanie screamed at her.
“You don’t have to yell” Lindsay said and her eyes moved to where the red bag sat.
Melanie snatched it up off of the sand and ripped it open - in seconds she’d flipped the front open - immediately Reggi’s voice said “Well it’s about damn time.” the whirr and click of Reggi thinking sounded - completely unnecessary, but an added touch that the ship com seemed to think amusing. “I’ve accessed the escape hatches - all of them - you can’t have one open without the others - or my Brian will be sucked into a whirlpool.
“I’m sure it isn’t that bad.” Lindsay began.
“There was only so much air left - even with the extra pack. He doesn’t have any more time.” Melanie picked up a blaster and placed it in the back pocket of her jumpsuit before diving into the water. The ship wasn’t far, and though the bulk of it was below the surface of the sand and silt - a small bit was still showing - enough for Melanie to know where Brian should be located. In a move that she coordinated with Reggi - Melanie blasted the sediment away while Reggi sprung the hatches - immediately water and mud flowed into the ship - filling what was left of the air pocket. Melanie caught a glimpse of Brian as his hand was torn off of a small wall pocket he’d been holding on to. Saying a prayer, she plunged into the dark reaches of the ship - hoping against hope the Brian would be close - she’d just about reached the capacity of her oxygen when her hand grabbed the front of his tunic - she clutched the fabric in a death grip and made her way for the small piece of lightness in the gloom - knowing it would be the open hatch - her powerful legs kicked once and then twice and she shot to the surface, Brian following close behind - Melanie looked at his grey face and knew she couldn’t wait until she reached shore to start working on him - and activating two floaters she’d tucked into her pockets - she balanced Brian across her chest while she attempted to rid his lungs of water.
“Help her you bitch” Reggi screamed - and Lindsay was about to shut the face plate down turning the ship com off - when good sense prevailed and she fled into the water to help drag Brian’s lifeless body ashore.
“The med scanner - the med scanner” Reggi yelled at the same time as Melanie - Lindsay scrambled to find the scanner in the hastily tossed aside items from the emergency pods - finding the bright blue scanner at the bottom of one of them. It was touch and go - before Brian finally began to vomit up the dank water - the med scanner cleared his lungs and inoculated him against any known organisms and bacteria.
“Jay - Jay” was the first words gasped from Brian’s lips as he lay on his back on the beach. He rolled over - his stomach spasmed and he coughed, though nothing came up - his throat was raw and his lungs felt like they were still full. ‘Shit,’ he thought ‘this was worse than the time he and his friend Mikey had stolen the bottle of scotch from Brian’s father when they were sixteen.’
“Who’s Jay?” Melanie asked.
“Where’s Lindsay?” Brian chose to ignore Melanie’s question - for a number of reasons, the main one of course being that he had no idea who Justin Taylor was - whether what had happened was real - or whether it was a figment of his imagination.”
“She’s over there being Miss Susie Homemaker and trying to ignore the fact that you almost died because she was pissing around.”
“Do I want to know?” Brian asked.
“I’m sure your ship com will fill you in - though I may lose its solar batteries if it doesn’t get off my ass.”
Brian attempted to laugh, but the sound was more in line with a raspy sob. “I have to tell you Mel - it was pretty intense in there. I thought I was dying.”
“You were dead Brian - you had no readings on the med com - but for some reason a voice - now don’t shut me out on this one - a voice in my head kept telling me what to do to bring you around - and the next thing I know you’re puking up water and shit in my face.” she gave a shaky laugh and looked at Brian - “It was like something was in my head.”
Brian knew it was Justin looking out for him - but he also knew that what he and Justin had was too intense to share - it somehow didn’t seem right to broadcast their connection to one another. He looked around at the Eden like setting and realized that no matter what had transpired - the chances of him ever meeting Justin Taylor - of ever discovering what they had together - finding out if it was real - well it would truly only be a dream. The Big Q hadn’t reached this planet - and the ship was well below the surface - no one would be working on it anytime soon.
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“Little father - the night air is cool - and you have no fur.” Keisha reminded Justin who sat with his arms around the thick tawny neck of the big cat.
“First I will offer thanks to those of my Tribe who came to us with help.” Justin turned toward the full moon and wasn’t surprised to see his grandfather also ‘sky clad’ sitting cross legged upon the thick pueblo of the wall. “Grandfather - I thank you for your help in this matter.” Justin began.
“Awww - my young grandson - a man needs to know when to ask for help - we will always be there for you.” Justin’s ancestor looked at him with fondness in his eyes. “You have found your mate and life goes forward for you now.”
“I’ve found him in my dreams - in my mind - but I don’t know where he is exactly in the universe.” he tried not to sound bitter but he was somewhat sad as he had wanted his mate for a long time.
“It has been foretold that you and your mate will do great things for this world - and when I fold time - I know this to be true - your adventure will be long but you will win grandson.”
Justin bowed his head and accepted his grandfather’s words as true. The next time he looked up the sky was clear and the ghostly dawn light was beginning to appear - Keisha sighed - if she didn’t hunt soon - it would be too late for this day - “Father, will we still travel today?”
“Yes my friend - I’ll get ready - while you hunt” Justin stood and began to walk slowly inside to his bedroom. He sent a warning thought to Keisha -“Only enough for today - we can’t take your kill with us this time.” The incident with the pack of hungry wild city dogs was not easily forgotten by Justin, though Keisha had thought it great fun at the time. It had taken all of Justin diplomacy skills combined with considerable mental pushing to get the dogs away from the floater long enough for them to escape the area and set down elsewhere after Keisha had cleaned the floater thoroughly.
“No dogs’ father?” Keisha’s thoughts betrayed her amusement - it had been such fun to tease the mangy curs.
Justin laughed in spite of himself but continued inside. He felt for Brian with his mind reassuring himself of the man’s continued safety before stepping into the narrow cubical for his Spartan shower. Until he’d been ten, Justin had thought the tales of cascading water, warm or even hot to bathe in were just that - imaginary tales told by old men and women who had time enough on their hands to weave these stories. When Justin turned ten, with the onset of puberty came the ability to reach back into time for glimpses of his past lives - for he - as a Kyllo shaman was able to access ancestral memories - it was one of the secrets they kept in the clan of Taylor - this ability to view their past lives. His grandfather insisted that it was a gift from the gods - a gift to help them learn from the past - to not repeat mistakes that could harm another. For each life was filled with those people who were close previously. Karmic atonement was ever on Justin’s mind.
Justin decided to use lavender for tranquility as he chose his soap for the day. The fact he couldn’t see mattered little as the controls for the shower were familiar - and something he enjoyed manipulating. Justin had installed many herbal combinations and he enjoyed the mixing of the aroma’s each day knowing that this small act would balance him for all that he would encounter.
A fast spray of precious water enveloped him then it was quickly followed by a mist of soap. Justin scrubbed his body thoroughly - for the first time his cock stirred with interest when he cleansed it - the thought of Brian foremost in his mind. Justin hadn’t been able to enter Melanie or Lindsay’s thoughts long enough to ‘see’ Brian so he wasn’t sure what the man looked like. But it didn’t matter - because he’d looked inside Brian’s heart and knew he was a good and kind man. Another quick spray washed the soap from Justin’s body and he stepped out of the shower. Automatically flicking the switch that took the used shower water from its holding tank below and allowing it to spray on his small garden, Justin stepped to the sink. He ran a hand over his face and wondered if he should remove the dusting of fine blond facial hair; his finger’s told him he still had a few more days before resorting to the epilator spray, so he brushed his teeth and patted on his favorite cologne - one that he’d created only the month before.
“Jay” the name Brian had taken to calling him caused him to flush with pleasure. “Jay.”
“I’m here Brian - I told you I always would be.” Justin reassured him as he continued with his preparations for the anticipated trip to Pitts.
Brian answered the question Mel put to him while replying to Justin. It’s kind of like talking to Reggi,’ he thought to himself. “I’m okay - I’m not dead - though fuck knows what kind of bugs we’ll pick up here - but at least we can breathe the air. It’s a little thin, but has the right combination of gases. “
“I’m going to see if I can find someone to help me pinpoint your location Brian.” Justin replied to Brian.
“It’s somewhere in the gamma quadrant - class four - but you knew that. Other than that - I can’t help. Sorry Jay - but I wasn’t paying attention, not realizing I was going to crash and all - it was just a planet off to the right of my view port.”
“I will find you.” Justin sent these four little words out into space - they weren’t much - but he meant each and every one of them.
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