Authors Notes: excuse any errors - Lois is away until the first of May - she will beta this chapter and I'll repost it when she is finished - meanwhile here it is for those who can't wait Misty Moonlight 14 Justin was sitting at his desk busy with rewrites on his latest novel. He had his headphones on listening to his editor and he was concentrating hard on the convoluted plot he’d devised when Fred pawed his knee. “What’s up Fred?” Justin asked. A knock could be heard on the door of his home. “Oh sorry boy, I guess I was in my own world.” Justin got up from his desk and headed to the door. He pushed the intercom button. “Who is it?” he asked. “It’s Gus Kinney, you saw my dad yesterday.” Came a young male voice. Justin smiled, Brian Kinney was one of the reasons he was having such a hard time concentrating on his rewrites. He could still feel the man, still hear his voice, and still smell his cologne. “Hi Gus” he said as he opened the door. “Hi” Gus was suddenly shy. “I’m sorry to interrupt your day, but Cynthia told me that you had talked to my dad and I wanted to thank you.” “Come in Gus oh let me introduce you to Fred. Fred this is Gus, Gus this is Fred. Fred is my eyes.” Justin explained. “You’re blind?” Gus asked. “Yes, I am, I have been for more than a year now.” He shut the door behind Gus and then headed toward the kitchen. “Come on to the kitchen. It’s almost lunch time and I’m starved. Will you stay for lunch?” “Sure” Gus said. He watched Justin, fascinated at how the man moved around as if he could see. “I was going to have some chicken soup I made the other day. It’s very good, lots of great veggies in it and lots of yummy noodles. The noodles are my favorite; I make my own because I love eating them so much.” “Cool, I didn’t know you could make your own noodles.” Gus hopped up on a bar stool to watch Justin. “Sure, pasta is the best when you make your own noodles.” Justin declared. He busied himself between the stove and the fridge. “Do you want a grilled cheese sandwich to go with it? I’m having one.” “I loved gilled cheese.” “Me too, I use two kinds of cheese and sourdough bread, it’s great.” “Can I help?” Gus asked. “I could get the milk and set the table.” It was strange; he was as comfortable in this house as he was in his own. He felt like he’d known Justin Taylor forever. “That would be good. The plates and things are in the cupboard over there. I’m sure you’ll find the milk on your own.” He laughed. “And the ketchup for the grilled cheese.” Gus added. He set the small kitchen table and then sat down to watch Justin again. “How do you know when everything is done?” “Well I could put my finger in the soup, but that would hurt, so I kind of just go by smell, sound and the time it’s been heating. It usually works. As for the grilled cheese, the same thing applies. I listen to the sound of it cooking, I smell to make sure it’s browning and not burned and I kind of keep track of how long I’ve been cooking the sandwich.” “Does it always work?” “Nope, I eat a lot of burned or undercooked grilled cheese sandwiches, but don’t tell anyone.” Gus laughed. “I do too and I can see.” “So you’re telling me I’m normal.” Justin giggled. “Boy that’s good to know.” “Did you know that you are the first person in like forever that has seen my dad?” Gus began. “And that when he came home from work he was actually humming a song?” “Is this a good thing or a bad thing?” Justin asked. “I mean is his singing voice really, really bad, does he hum off key?” Gus giggled. “Kind of, but he’s always done that. It’s just that I didn’t think I’d ever see him kind of smiling and stuff. He even joked with Fluffy, he’s my cat.” “Well, I’m glad I was able to be of service young Gus.” “I looked you up on the internet. You’ve written a lot of books.” “Yes I have, I don’t paint as much any more but my imagination is as active as ever so I began to write. It’s art but in a different way.” “I guess it is.” Gus ate his sandwich. “Mr. Taylor, do you think you’ll see my dad again?” “Call me Justin.” “Justin do you think you’ll see my dad again?” “Possibly, his company is handling the publicity for my latest book.” Justin turned away from Gus and was thoughtful. “I don’t usually see the publicity guys though after the first meeting.” “I wish you could.” Gus thought for a minute. “Hey you could come to the forth of July thing that we are having at my Grandma Debbies.” “I don’t know Gus, that’s a family affair, I’d be intruding.” “Dad only goes to like three places now where there are people. One to Grandma Debbies and then only after a big argument to get him there. Two to Grandpa Marc’s at Christmas and for my birthday and that’s only the next apartment down in the same building and it’s not for a long time. And three to work.” Gus was trying to be reasonable. “Grandma Debbie is always telling me I can bring a friend, but I don’t really have any friends so I pick you.” “Why don’t you have any friends?” Justin asked changing the subject. “Because I’m too smart and I go to a special school at Carnegie Mellon and all the kids that go there with me are kind of antisocial.” “That sucks” “Sort of, but my dad is my friend and I have Auntie Em and Fluffy and all the family.” Gus grinned, “And I have you now.” “You just met me; I could be a rotten friend.” “You aren’t I can tell, I wouldn’t even have come in the house if I thought you were bad. I feel like I know you and you make me smile.” “I’m that funny looking?” Justin teased. “Yep” Gus teased back. “Well in that case. I could be persuaded to attend this soiree.” “Great, Dad and I will pick you up at eleven on Saturday. Do you think Fred will like Fluffy?” Gus sounded worried. “Fred is a very well behaved dog. He’s been trained to ignore cats and other distractions.” “But Fluffy hasn’t been trained and he’s kind of bad sometimes.” Gus worried. “He’s not coming to the party is he?” “No, but when you come to our house, you’ll have Fred.” “Since that hasn’t happened yet and it will depend on your father for it to happen. Why don’t we worry about that later?” “Good plan.” Gus agreed. He stayed and visited for another hour before he realized he had to leave. “I have to go now. I’m supposed to be right home from school.” “You skipped school to come and find me?” Justin shook his head. “Gus that isn’t a good thing.” “I didn’t really skip school. We can pretty much do as we need to during school hours. I’m ahead by the whole semester in my computer science classes and that’s what I’d have been doing this afternoon. I finished the software design and now it’s being tested.” “Hey I have some great software for writing. I’ll have to show it to you. It talks to me so that I can do edits.” “I was wondering how you did that.” Gus admitted. “What about if you are typing and get your fingers off by one key and you wrote like a dozen pages of gibberish.” “It can’t happen, the program tells you right away and besides, each keyboard has a little raised spot on the letter j so I always know where my fingers are.” He cocked his head to one side as if ‘looking’ at Gus. “How old are you Gus, you’re almost the same height as me.” “I’m almost eleven. I take after my dad, he’s pretty tall. I have the same color eyes and same color hair.” “What color is his hair, I forgot to ask him?” “Kind of a reddy brown. It’s weird hair, it never does what it’s supposed to.” Justin had to laugh. “I wish I could see it.” “You can touch mine if you want. It’s the same as dad’s” “Are you sure?” “Sure, you’re my friend.” Gus leaned over and took Justin’s hand and placed it on his head. “See, weird hair.” “It feels soft and silky and very fine, that’s why it moves around. Finely structured hair does that.” Justin smiled at him. “You’d better get going and if your father objects to my being there, give me a call. It’ll be okay.” Justin moved around the kitchen counter and found a drawer full of paper and pencils. He wrote down his number for Gus and handed it to him. “This is my private line and I forward it to my cell if I’m going out.” When he handed Gus the piece of paper he used his left hand, the hand he wore his ring on. It was usually turned in toward the palm because it was a bit big. Gus’ couldn’t believe his eyes. “Hey you have a ring like my dad” he reached out and touched Justin’s hand. “I do?” Justin knew that there had only been the two rings made. “Where did your dad get his?” “He doesn’t know. He was just home from the hospital and he woke up and it was on his finger. It was really weird, he thought I was playing tricks on him but I wasn’t. He almost always wears it, except the other day he didn’t because it was getting loose and he wanted to have it sized.” “Mine is loose too. It keeps slipping around, I hardly notice it anymore when it does that, I guess I could get it sized.” Justin put the ring to his mouth, pleased that it was Brian who had the other one. Gus, in the way of children forgot about the rings almost immediately. “Thanks Justin” Gus headed to the door. “Can I pat Fred to say goodbye?” he knew that he should never touch a guide dog without it’s owner’s permission. “Fred likes his ears scratched.” Justin said and he listened to Gus saying goodbye. “Thanks for coming over, you’ll have to come and visit me again, it was nice to talk to someone besides Fred. He isn’t much of a conversationalist.” When the door closed behind Gus the warmth seemed to go out of the house. Justin hadn’t really been aware up until then just how lonely his life had become. Fred padded over and whined his agreement as they headed to the kitchen to clean it up. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ “Gus you know I don’t like to meet new people.” Brian was trying to reason with his son, as they got ready to go to Debbie’s Fourth of July bash. “You told me a long time ago I could invite a friend and that’s what I did.” Gus went over and straightened his father’s shirt. He was being reasonable, but he didn’t want to spoil the surprise and tell his father it was Justin. “But now of all times and you didn’t even give me any warning.” Brian knew he’d never win this argument. He had told Gus to bring a friend. It was just that he hated going through the initial reaction of anybody looking at his ruined face. “It’ll be okay dad.” Gus patted his hand and Brian had to smile at how the young boy was always trying to ‘mother’ him. “Let’s get this show on the road.” Brian picked up his car keys. “The only good part about this day is that Fluffy has to stay home.” The cat had become extremely clingy since his surgery and sometimes drove him nuts wanting to sit on him. The two Kinney men went down to their car. Marc was in Arizona and Emmett was already at Debbie and Vic’s. “Here’s the address” Gus handed his father a piece of paper he’d printed Justin’s address on. “It isn’t that far. He has a cool house.” Brian checked the address and no it wasn’t far, though it was in a rough section of town and he wondered when Gus had been there though he knew better than to ask. At almost eleven Gus was touchy about being checked up on like a child even though he was one. He pulled into the driveway of a pleasant looking house. There wasn’t much yard but what there was, was tidy. “I’ll go get him.” Gus said and he hopped out of the car. Gus knocked on the door and Justin opened it up. “You really did come and get me.” he laughed. “I made something for dessert. Let me get it.” “You didn’t have to do that.” Gus said. “Grandma Debbie has tons of food.” “I like to bring food with me and I love to bake, so I did.” He presented Gus with a luscious looking dessert. “It’s a strawberry mouse cake.” “I’ll carry it.” Gus offered. “Great, I was hoping you’d ask. I don’t want to fall into it tripping over Fred or something.” Justin said with a grin. The two of them stepped outside of his house along with Fred. Justin carefully locked the door behind him. He would have been amused if he could have seen the look on Brian Kinney’s face when he realized just who Gus’ friend was. Brian hopped out of the car and went around to the passenger side to open the door. “Hey Brian, are you surprised to see me?” Justin asked. He knew he was inches away from the man who intrigued him so much and taking a chance he reached up and kissed Brian’s cheek. Justin was pleased to feel the soft fur of what he now imagined as an auburn colored beard and he was pleased that Brian didn’t flinch away from him. Gus standing to one side watching the interaction between the two men could barely contain his glee. He was right, there was something between the two of them. He could feel it in the air and better yet, he knew his father could feel it as well. “Justin, I wasn’t expecting to see you.” Brian’s words were spoken softly. He could feel a flush spread over his cheeks. “Do you mind?” Justin asked, his words taking on an intimate connotation. “No” “Hold the door dad, Fred and I are getting into the back seat with the cake.” Brian and Justin stood to one side as Gus and Fred got into the back seat. “I guess you’re riding up front with me.” Brian said unnecessarily. “The view is always better in the front.” Justin joked. Seeing Justin’s blond hair reflecting the morning sun and knowing that his blue eyes were hidden away but were probably sparkling, Brian had to agree. The view was better in the front. Justin was surprised when Brian reached over and did up his seat belt. His intake of breath must have caught Brian’s attention. “Safety first Sunshine” Brian whispered and this time it was his lips that brushed Justin’s cheek. “Thanks, I don’t do very well in the front seat of cars since the accident.” Justin’s voice shook slightly. Brian put his hand on Justin’s knee. “Hang on; it won’t be a long drive.” He started the car and began to drive, seeing Justin’s tightly clenched lips he reached over and took the other man’s hand, threading his fingers through and giving him a gentle squeeze of reassurance. Gus and Fred watched from the back they looked at each other and grinned in satisfaction. “Justin, did Gus warn you that the family is a bit unconventional?” Brian asked. “They might overwhelm you at first, but stick close to me.” “Yeah, they’re all scared of dad.” Gus said with a laugh. “He is real grouchy sometimes.” “Thanks for the vote Sonny Boy” Brian chided. “I don’t like it when they cling.” He explained to Justin. “Me either.” Justin admitted, though he did wish he could cling to Brian for some reason, not that he’d say such a thing. Brian pulled up in front of a cheerfully decorated house. The sounds of laughter drifted over to all of them in the car. “Everyone must be outside.” Justin observed. “They sound happy.” “Here goes nothing.” Brian said. He went around to Justin’s side of the car and opened the door. “If you want to make a grand entrance you can take my arm. I know you usually like Fred to lead.” “It’s his job, he can still guide me, but I would love to hold your hand.” Justin admitted. Brian felt somewhat pleased when Justin said that he wanted his hand. Soon they were all out of the car, Gus holding the cake and Fred in his usual working position. Brian led the way making sure that Justin’s hand was tightly held as they headed for the noise and laughter of the backyard. Justin almost burst out laughing at the deafening silence that greeted them when they stepped through the gate and were noticed. “Gee, talk about a grand entrance” he whispered to Brian. “I expect horns to blow any moment.” Brian quipped. “Well everyone, now that I have your attention, Gus and I would like to introduce Justin and Fred. Fred is the one with all the fur.” Like a bad movie all eyes turned to the dog who looked embarrassed at the attention as only a dog can look. “Brian” Debbie rushed over “You’ve brought a date.” She looked at Justin “and what a hot looking date.” Justin smiled in her direction. “Hi, I’m Justin” he held out his hand and Debbie realized immediately he couldn’t see. She enveloped him in a hug that took his breath away. “You poor thing,” she blared. “Fuck Debbie, he’s blind not deaf, though who knows, he may be now.” Brian bitched. “Come on Sunshine, let’s meet the gang.” He looked at Gus who was laughing. “Go give Vic your cake Sonny Boy and no gossiping about your dad.” “Like anyone even cares.” Gus said. “Well I do sweetness.” Emmett said as he wandered closer. “Brian who is this handsome young man?” “Justin, this is my long time friend Emmett or Auntie Em to Gus - he’s been part of the family since Gus was a baby.” “Hi Emmett, you don’t mind if I call you Emmett and not Auntie Em do you?” Justin asked. “Somehow you just don’t seem old enough to be my ‘auntie’.” “You go right ahead and call me what you want honey.” Emmett laughed, “They all do.” He looked around. “Over there is Vic,” he pointed, “he and I helped with the food. Brian that was a gorgeous cake you brought.” “Justin made it and Em, he can’t see Vic, Fred is his guide dog.” “Oh, I didn’t know, I’m so sorry.” Emmett stammered. “Sorry for what?” Justin said with a laugh. “It’s life and you have to make the best of what you get thrown.” Brian put his arm around Justin’s shoulder and pulled him close as if offering his protection. “Why don’t we go sit down Sunshine? I see a seat in the shade. We don’t want that pale complexion of yours burnt.” Brian steered Justin toward two lawn chairs under a spreading chestnut tree. “Why in hell did you wear black to a backyard thing, you are going to roast.” “It’s my technique for always knowing that my clothes match.” Justin said with a giggle. He loved the feeling of Brian’s arm around his shoulders. “Well, we’ll have to take you shopping and lighten up the look. Maybe go with something blue. Blue works with black.” “Are you suggesting that we go shopping, you and I together?” Justin was amused. “I thought you didn’t go out in public.” “Ever heard of the internet Sunshine?” Brian smirked the effect of which was lost on Justin. Justin smiled up at Brian. “Coward” and Brian could see Justin’s amused smirk. “I am not. I just choose to not repulse the masses.” “I’m not repulsed.” “You can’t see me.” “Yes I can, I already ‘saw’ you up close and personal don’t you remember?” And Brian did remember. He still could feel the butterfly touch of Justin’s fingers as they traced the contours of his face. “I can remember,” he admitted out loud. He also remembered the ring Justin had worn the same ring that he usually wore, that he was wearing now. He checked Justin’s hand to make sure that it really was the same. He would have to ask the blond about it. “It isn’t quite the same thing.” He continued, “You never saw what I looked like before my little foray with a scalpel. It isn’t a pleasant contrast.” They were sitting in heavy wooden chairs with wide arms. Justin stood up and moved to Brian’s chair where he perched on the arm of the chair. He let his fingers brush Brian’s soft hair off of his face. Gus was right; the two of them had identical fine hair. “What are you doing?” Brian asked in a broken voice, his throat suddenly constricted by Justin’s touch. “Can’t you tell, I’m killing you with kindness – it’s been proved to be highly effective.” Justin leaned down and kissed Brian’s forehead. “Is it working?” He let his fingers trace Brian’s nose. When he reached the end he licked it “kitty kisses” he teased. “I usually shop at the mall but I’ve always wondered what some of the downtown stores were like. Where do you shop?” “I think I mentioned the Internet.” Brian was melting under the soft fingers of the man perched beside him. “So it’s a downtown store then. I agree, I love trying new places. When can we go, do you think they’ll be open on Monday?” “Brian, aren’t you going to introduce your little friend.” Michael said. He’d been watching the two of them interact. Justin snuggled closer to Brian instinctively and Brian let him by wrapping his arm around Justin and pulling him down onto his knee. “Mikey, this is Justin. Justin this is Michael Novotny, the son of the exuberant Deb and my childhood friend.” “Hi Michael” Justin said. “Brian and were talking about going shopping on Monday somewhere downtown. He thinks I need to add some color to my wardrobe.” “Brian doesn’t shop downtown any more.” Michael began. “We’ve discussed that and decided it was time he stopped being such a chicken.” Justin grinned up at Brian who kissed the blond’s nose. Justin giggled at the touch. Michael was outraged. “You little shit, you called Brian a chicken.” He began. “I believe he said I was a coward.” Brian smirked. “A, a coward” Michael could hardly get the word out. “He’s right you know Mikey,” Brian tightened his grip on Justin. “But I have some blond courage now, so I guess I’ll be shopping on Monday.” “My hero” Justin simpered and batted his eyes behind his dark glasses. Brian could see this because of the way they were sitting and he burst out laughing. The sound was so unexpected that everyone turned to see what was happening. Gus was thrilled with his father’s delight and he ran over to claim the other side of the wide wooden chair. “You guys are making me feel happy in my tummy” he said. “Happy in your tummy?” Brian grumbled. “That’s what I pay all the bucks for at your fancy school, descriptive terms like ‘happy in my tummy’.” “Hey, I’m just a kid dad.” Gus kissed his father’s cheek. It was an old argument and he knew his father didn’t mean anything hurtful with his words. “I understand Gus.” Justin said. He stage whispered. “You were right, it is soft and silky just like yours.” Gus giggled. “I told you so.” “What are the two of you talking about?” Brian loved that Justin and Gus had an instant rapport with each other. “It’s just stuff.” Gus said. “Stuff that’s silly maybe if you’re a nice dad, Justin will tell you later.” “I’m always a nice dad.” “Then in that case, I will tell you later.” Justin said. “Much later.” “What do you mean by that?” Michael said. He’d been standing in front of them listening and watching the play between the three of them. “Oh, I’m sorry Michael, I forgot you were there. I can’t see you and you were being so quiet.” Justin apologized. “Do you work with Brian too?” “No, I own a comic book store.” Michael said proudly. “Cool, I used to love to read comics.” Justin laughed. “Some of the heroes were pretty hot looking especially Captain Astro. Didn’t you just hate it when they killed him off? I wrote to them complaining. I didn’t think it was right. In fact in one of my books I made my hero a fan of Captain Astro’s and had him harass the publisher.” He grinned. “I can be very brave in the books I write.” Brian was thinking that Justin was the bravest man he knew. He was blind and yet he didn’t let it get him down instead he went out of his way to make other people happy with their lot in life. He felt some remorse at the way he’d been behaving since his surgery. Brian sat quietly holding Justin with one arm and Gus with the other while the two of them chatted with fervor to Michael about the pros and cons of the various comic book heroes. He barely listened to what they were all saying preferring to sit and enjoy his armful of boy and man. The rest of the afternoon went smoothly. Everyone came over throughout the day and met Justin. They were all curious about the young man who had very obviously captured Brian’s attention. Michael had spread the word that Brian was actually going to go out shopping with Justin and each and everyone of the ‘gang’ had to confirm what Michael had said was true. Justin was almost giggling by the time the last not so subtle question was asked. “You know Brian, if I didn’t know better; I’d say you were more than a tad hard to get along with.” Gus and Brian looked at each other and rolled their eyes heavenward. Gus burst out laughing – “Justin, dad is the biggest grouch in the whole world. He never gets along with anyone, even the family since his operation. Fluffy and I love him to bits but geeze he’s a pain in the butt sometimes.” “That’s enough Sonny Boy; you aren’t so big you can’t be spanked.” Brian growled. “Like you’ve ever spanked me.” Gus laughed. “And you are too a big grouch.” “Well, I think he’s soft as a marshmallow.” Justin said. “All squishy and sweet.” “I work out all the time so soft I’m not.” Brian protested. “And I’ve never been accused of being sweet.” Justin reached out and touched Brian’s lips with his finger tips. Gus watched fascinated, no one touched his father’s face these days. “These lips are definitely sweet.” Justin all but purred. “I don’t need to see them to know that.” Brian chuckled and nipped at the fingers touching his lips, changing at the last second to a kiss. “Careful Sunshine, I bite.” His voice was soft and indulgent. Gus was grinning widely now. This was his dad before the operation. “Promise?” Justin asked, the word going right to Brian’s cock. Night was fast approaching and except for the odd foray to the bathroom, Justin, Brian and Gus had stayed in the same spot all day. Because of the novelty of having Brian with a guest, all the others had taken turns bringing them food and drink. “It’s getting late.” Justin commented. “I feel like it’s evening.” “Yes, it’s almost time for the fireworks.” Brian looked at Gus his eyes asking what were they going to do. “I miss fireworks.” Justin admitted. “I used to love the patterns and colors of the sparks against the night sky. Lately when I think of the night I only see a full moon shining through ground mists. Something about that moon makes me feel loved and safe, it’s the strangest thing.” “I’m partial to that kind of full moon myself” Brian thought of the dreams he’d been having. A full moon shone in the night sky, ground mists flowed through trees. Brian would walk through the forest, barely seeing through the mists, with the silvery white moon lighting his way as he searched for someone, someone he loved but whom he’d lost. “So we have moons in common” Justin said. “I’ll add that to my list of things I can share with the great and wonderful Brian Kinney.” “The great and wonderful?” Brian smirked. “The great and wonderful” Justin confirmed. “We should go now. I don’t think that fireworks would be good for Fred.” Brian looked at the dog who was sleeping beside them. “You’re probably right.” Justin agreed. “But I don’t want Gus to miss them, they’re beautiful and he should see them.” “Gus go see if your Auntie Em will bring you home?” Brian asked. “Sure dad.” Gus was pleased that his father was going to spend some time alone with Justin, even if it was only a ride home. Brian and Justin were soon by the car after having said their goodbyes. Fred waited patiently while they stood on the sidewalk. “Do you want to stop for something to eat before I take you home?” Brian asked. Justin knew how much this question had cost Brian to ask. He was incredibly insecure about his face. “I’m hungry, but if you don’t mind pot luck, you can come to my place. I kind of hate to have the evening end now. The day has been the best I’ve had in a long time.” Justin was almost shy about asking Brian to his house. “Your place it is.” Brian smiled and Justin could hear the smile in his voice. He was glad he’d taken the chance and asked Brian over. The drive to Justin’s was completed in silence though Brian did hold the other man’s hand to let him know he was safe. Fred watched from the backseat interested in the exchange between the two men. He knew his master was happy. Justin and Fred led the way to the front door. Brian kept his hand in the middle of Justin’s back though he let the other man lead the way. They stepped inside and Justin flicked the lights on. “I sometimes forget to turn on the lights, so if I do, just find the switch and do it yourself.” Brian realized that this admission wasn’t easy for Justin. “It’s hard sometimes isn’t it Justin?” His voice was soft and caring, Justin turned to him and Brian pulled him close wrapping Justin in his arms. Justin melted into the older man’s body enjoying the feeling of protection he gave him. “Thanks for understanding Brian.” Justin whispered. “I try not to let it get me down, but sometimes, like tonight, knowing I can’t see the lights in the sky, well it is hard.” “I wish I could do something.” “You are, you make me feel good. You make me forget because somehow when I’m close to you I can almost see you.” Justin gave a small laugh. “I know that sounds kind of weird and we’ve only seen each other twice, but I feel like I know you. Like I’ve known you for a long time. I feel like you’ve always been there for me keeping me safe.” Brian brushed his lips over Justin’s closed eyes. “Well I didn’t do a very good job of keeping you safe when this happened.” He murmured. “You did, it could have been worse, much worse. I don’t remember much about the accident, but I do remember feeling like someone was holding me close and keeping me warm until the ambulance got there. I’ve been told since that there was no one. But I can still feel his arms around me, like I feel yours now.” Brian didn’t know what to say, so he remained silent until Justin pushed away with a laugh. “This isn’t feeding either of us or Fred.” The young man turned and headed for the kitchen. “Why don’t you pour us a drink? I have beer, water, guava juice or Jim Beam.” “Sounds like a man after my heart, they are all my favorites.” Brian joined Justin in the kitchen. “Where’s the light switch Sunshine?” “Oh sorry, it’s over there.” Justin blushed. “I told you I forget sometimes.” “No problem, I like to look at you and it’s hard to do in the dark.” Brian turned on the kitchen lights. “I’ll feed Fred. I see his dish is empty.” “His food is in the plastic bucket by his dish. He could probably use some fresh water too.” “Coming right up.” Brian and Justin worked together in the kitchen. Justin prepared the two of them a green salad filled with bits of fresh vegetables, two different cheeses and a sprinkling of sunflower seeds. He heated up a couple of sourdough rolls and expertly prepared an oil and vinegar dressing with a selection of herbs he cut from those growing on his window ledge. Brian sat at the counter mesmerized by Justin’s efficiency in his kitchen. Justin realizing that other than the crunch of Fred eating, that there was silence in the room. “I’m sorry Brian, I’m a poor conversationalist, it’s usually just me and Fred and he doesn’t care if I don’t talk.” “I don’t mind. I like watching you work.” Brian realized that he really did enjoy watching the young blond. “It’s just a salad.” Justin said but he flushed with pleasure knowing Brian was enjoying watching him. “But it’s a salad that I don’t have to make. Not that I would anyway, I prefer take out or Gus makes us dinner.” Justin laughed. “It somehow doesn’t surprise me. I can picture you expecting to be waited on.” “I’ll have you know I’ve cooked my fair share of dinners over the years. But cooking has never appealed to me, in fact I dislike it intensely. So this is the compromise that I’ve come to with Gus. He was sick of take out and he likes to cook.” “I like to cook too. It’s creative, I like to create.” “I read a couple of your books. You’re very good.” “Why thank you kind sir. I have fun writing them. When it stops being fun, I’ll stop writing.” “Then what would you do?” “I don’t know, maybe live on a tropical island and eat candy all day.” Justin waved his hand in the air. “You can’t you’d burn and get fat.” “Live in Seattle and count the raindrops on the windows while wishing I was on a tropical island and eating candy.” “You’d be bored and really how high can you count before going nuts and what if Fred interrupted you and you lost count?” Justin laughed out loud. “I can see I’m going to have to give my retirement more thought.” “Kinnetics can always offer advice on retirement.” Brian quipped. “I happen to know the owner personally.” “So do I and he’s hot” Justin grinned. “I’ve been wondering if he dances?” he walked over to an entertainment system and turned it on. The rooms were filled with a club beat. “He used to, but he has a bit of trouble with his balance.” “He should try hanging on to someone. One hand should do it.” Justin began to sway and undulate to the almost tribal beat of the music. Fred moved out of the way. He’d been stepped on one too many times when Justin started to dance. Brian couldn’t help but laugh. He moved over until he stood in front of Justin. Justin reached out as if he could see and took Brian’s hand, placing it on his waist, never losing the beat of the song. It was contagious and soon Brian was following the other man’s lead. One song moved into another and they continued to dance until on the third song, a ballad, Justin moved into Brian’s arms and they began a slow and sensual dance barely moving. When the song ended the music turned off. Justin remained in Brian’s arms, his head on the other man’s chest listening to the beat of his heart and savoring the closeness of his body. “Thanks for the dance Brian, it’s been awhile.” “It’s been awhile for me too Sunshine.” Neither one knew if it was dancing they were referring to. Fred whined and the two men laughed. “I think he wants out.” Brian said. “He knows how to get out.” But Justin moved back from the tender embrace and turned to the kitchen. “Lets eat. Could you pour me a glass of white wine please?” The tension was thick but Brian found the wine and poured them both a glass before sitting at the table with Justin. They chatted away the rest of the evening until finally it was time for Brian to leave. He didn’t want to go, but he knew he had to. He knew he didn’t dare have sex with Justin, because if he did he’d be lost to the blond forever and he wasn’t ready for that.