Authors Notes: excuse any errors - Lois is away until the first of May - she will beta this chapter and I'll repost it when she is finished - meanwhile here it is for those who can't wait

Misty Moonlight 15

Brian spent all day Sunday in a daze. He even dreamed the night before – the same dream he always had. The moon was full and hidden behind mists, only this time Justin was laughing up at him from a garden. His blue eyes were full of love and laughter and mischief and the very sight of them made Brian laugh with joy back.

He woke up with a smile on his face that he found hard to remove all day. Gus noticed right away of course. “Hey dad, did you have a good night with Justin? What did you guys do?”

“We had supper at his place and we danced and we talked. That’s about it.” Brian looked for the TV remote hoping to find something that would distract Gus.

“You guys danced – wow.” Gus was excited. “I didn’t know you could dance.”

“I’m not a complete moron Gus, I do have a few redeeming graces.” 

“Don’t forget you promised to take him shopping tomorrow.” 

“He probably doesn’t really expect to go shopping. He was just teasing.”

“Don’t count on it dad. I could go if you don’t want to.”

“If Justin wants to go shopping, then I’ll take him. Besides, he does need some color in his wardrobe.” Brian turned back to the television and knowing when to let a subject drop, Gus sat down beside him to watch a movie.

Sunday night after Gus had gone to bed, Brian studied the paper that had Justin’s phone number on it. He’d seen it posted on Gus’ bulletin board earlier and when Gus wasn’t looking, had taken it. Staring at the phone in the darkened loft Brian realized he’d been motionless for more than an hour. Almost holding his breath he picked up the phone and punched in the number. “Hey” he said when Justin answered.

“Hey yourself Brian.” Justin laughed. “Are you calling to beg off the shopping trip tomorrow?”

“No I was calling to see what time you wanted me to pick you up. I thought maybe if I picked you up around noon I could take you out for lunch.”

“Really, you want to go out for lunch?” Justin sounded excited.

“It’s just a lunch Justin, nothing to get too excited over.”

“Okay, when was the last time you went out for lunch?” he laughed.

Brian paused for a moment. “It’s been awhile,” he admitted.

“Point taken”

“Now that we have that settled. Do you want to go out for lunch?”

“Why don’t you let me feed you at my place again? I think dragging you shopping is enough stress on your old brain for one day.”

“It isn’t that old Justin.” Brian said softly. “But I’d love to have lunch at your place. Can I bring anything?”

“Just your hot body.” Justin teased.

“I can do that.” Brian sighed, “What did you and Fred do today, anything interesting?”

“Actually I worked in my studio all day. In fact so long that I’m stiff, it’s been a long time since I’ve lost myself in my art.”

“What were you doing?”

“I’m working on a sculpture, it’s one of a series that I’ve done over the past couple of years. I haven’t shown them, because they’re kind of personal.”

“Isn’t all art personal?” Brian asked.

“Yes, of course it is, but this is different. These come from my dreams.” Justin hesitated. “I’ve been dreaming of someone for as long as I can remember. I used to paint him, but once I lost my sight, I began to sculpt him or at least what I perceive to be him.”

“I’ve been dreaming the same dream most of my life too. It’s kind of odd that you mention it.” Brian admitted.

“It’s just been part of my life. I never even thought about anyone not having the same dream over and over again.” Justin laughed. “Now if there was some good sex in the dream that might be fun. But instead I can see this other guy, but I can’t quite get his attention. I know that if I can, he’ll fall in love with me. But I’m always out of focus for him and we never really connect.”

“That’s kind of like my dream.” Brian laughed. “We sound like two pathetic fags.”

Justin burst out laughing, “Don’t we just.”

“I’m sorry I called so late” Brian’s voice was low and huskey.

“I’m not, I’m in bed but I wasn’t asleep?” he giggled. “Isn’t this where I ask you what you’re wearing?”

“Yes and this is when I tell you I’m wearing nothing but a smile, oh yes and a black Persian cat is sitting on my pillow by my head.”

“Kinky” Justin laughed.

“What you’re telling me you aren’t sleeping with Fred?”

“Fred has his own bed. I’m all alone.”

“And stiff”

“That’s my back Brian.”

“I could change that.”

“I bet you could.” Justin was actually stroking his hard cock, but he didn’t want Brian to know.

“Later Sunshine” Brian quietly hung up the phone.

“Later Brian” Justin breathed into the now quiet receiver as he shot his load.

It was the beginning of an interesting time for both Brian and Justin. Monday came and their lunch lasted until almost four in the afternoon, so the shopping trip was put off for another day. Time had slipped away as the two of them laughed and talked and got to know one another. Brian made up for the cancelled shopping trip by buying the two of them dinner from his favorite Thai takeout place. 

They shared a bottle of wine and made a mess eating with chopsticks, even attempting to feed one another though both of them missed more often than not. Finally Brian looked at his messy dinner companion. “You need a bib.” 

Justin giggled. “Or a shower.” He called Fred to come over and clean up the floor. “I bet Fluffy can’t do that.” 

“And thank gawd he can’t.” Brian shuddered. “That’s gross.”

“Dogs don’t mind.” 

“Well I do.” Brian tried to wipe his hands with a napkin, but the sticky sauce wasn’t cooperating. He got up and wet the napkin with warm water and then came back to the table. Cupping Justin’s chin he wiped his mouth. “There doesn’t that feel better?” he asked.
“Maybe if I was two it would” Justin griped. “But I’m not.”

“Oh don’t get your panties in a knot as Emmett would say. You’d hate to find out later that half your dinner was on your face.”

“I can wash my face myself.”

“So that means that we’ll never shower together? Because if I’m sharing a shower, I like to wash the other person and have the same done to me.”

“How often do you share showers?” Justin was curious.

“Not often, but it has happened.” Brian snickered, “I like to think of it as ‘saving water’.

“Ever the environmentalist aren’t you?” Justin reached over and kissed Brian. For some reason he was always deadly accurate when it came to finding Brian’s lips. “Yum, hot sauce. Someone needs his own face washed.”

Brian stood up. “I’m going to wash up in the bathroom. Do you want to come, I promise to let you wash your own face and hands.”

Justin smiled but stood up too. “Okay, I don’t mind the help as long as you aren’t babying me.”

“What if I am?”

Then don’t.”

“But I want to.” 

“Why?” they were walking toward Justin’s bathroom.

“I don’t know, but you bring out the ‘protector’ in me.” Brian admitted.

“Tough shit. I don’t need protecting.” He turned to face Brian and Brian almost bumped into him. “I want to get this straight right now. If we’re going to be friends, maybe even more than friends, I don’t want to be coddled or treated like some blind freak. I’m a man and I can hold my own.”

Brian placed his hands on Justin’s shoulder’s “You are some blind freak, you’re with me aren’t you?” he rested his head on Justin’s forehead. 

“Are you with me because I can’t see you?” Justin asked. “Because if you are, then end it right now.”

“No I’m not.” Brian hesitated. “At first, I admit having you in my office was a surprise, but you were so open and wonderful and you touched me without cringing, that I realized you could see me and it felt good.”

“If Gus hadn’t interfered would you have asked me out?” Justin wondered.

“I would have made reasons for you to come to the office. I don’t know if I would have had the guts to ask you out at least not right away. I’ve never actually had a real date with anyone and looking like I do isn’t confidence inspiring.”

Justin took his hands and placed them on either side of Brian’s face. “Have you ever stopped to consider that what you think you look like is nothing like the rest of the world sees?” His thumb traced Brian’s lips. “You hide behind this beard and stay boarded up in your office cave barely seeing the light of day. You’re not only hurting yourself, but you’re hurting those who love you.”

“Justin, you don’t know about me. You don’t know the kind of life I’ve lived, how I grew up, what I’ve done and faced to get where I am today. You don’t know shit about me.” his voice was bitter and he tried to turn away but Justin held fast. “Justin, I’m not the kind of guy who will ever have someone love him. I know my friends, Emmett, Michael; they love me like you love family. I mean really be loved, hearts and flowers, sweet kisses and passionate love, all of that stuff. It’s not for me.”

“Hmm, I must have missed that memo.” Justin rested his head on Brian’s chest. “Put your arms around me and hold me. It’s a start.” Brian stood there for a moment in the hallway in front of the bathroom door and his arms slowly did as he was told until he was holding on to Justin for all he was worth.

“Now what do I do?” his voice cracked.

“Just hold me while I’m holding you. In a few minutes we’ll go and wash our dinner off of us and if you help me and I help you neither one of us will get pissy about it because we know that that’s the kind of thing you do for a friend.”

“Sounds good to me.” Brian admitted. “We are friends aren’t we?”

“I think we were from the first moment I ‘saw’ you.” Justin reveled in Brian’s warmth. Slowly he moved out of the other man’s arms. “Now to get cleaned up.”

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Justin hadn’t heard anything from Brian in almost two weeks since the Monday they had spent together. Brian had kissed him before he’d left but Justin was wondering if he should have had sex with the older man. Maybe then he would have called. Or maybe he was just feeling sorry for the blind man and his dog and had only agreed to the shopping trip that never happened because he’d been put on the spot.
He almost picked up the phone a number of times to call Brian, but each time his better sense had prevailed and he’d resisted the urge. And then there were the nights. Night after night he had the dream that took place under the misty moon. Night after night he saw the man of his dreams looking at him with longing but saying nothing. Justin began to fantasize that maybe Brian was the man. After all they were both tall and had dark hair, though the moonlight bled what color his dream man had, Justin began to color him with hazel eyes and auburn hair – it was his dream after all. As a final touch lately Justin had added the ring he’d designed. He never did get the nerve to ask Brian how he had his ring. And now he probably would never get the chance.

Not far from Justin’s home, Brian brooded in his loft apartment. He barely showed up at the office, leaving everything for Cynthia to handle. Instead he paced the floor his mind filled with images of Justin. And it wasn’t only images that were driving him crazy, it was the remembered feel of him in his arms, the taste of him on his lips. There were nights he’d wake up sure he could feel the soft touch of Justin’s fingers on his face or the kiss of his breath. And though Justin had never been in his bed, he’d reach for him only to have his hand come away empty and he’d get up and pace once again.

Gus and Fluffy watched Brian all the time. They both could see that he was brooding over something other than the usual facial disfigurement that he perceived. His face had long since returned to almost normal.

Finally Gus decided he had to intervene. He could hear his father’s steady walk, bare feet quietly hitting the hardwood. It was four thirty in the morning. Fluffy slept restless at the end of his bed. His ears twitching with every foot fall. Gus got up and padded into the living room. His father didn’t notice him at first as he stood silently by his door watching.

“Hey Gus” he said finally though he continued to walk. “Can’t you sleep?”

“No” Gus walked over and took Brian’s hand. Brian was struck by how tall the boy had grown, he was thin and gangly but almost reached to Brian’s shoulder. “Sit down on the sofa with me Dad, we have to talk.”

Brian was genuinely puzzled but he allowed himself to be led to the sofa where he sat down. Gus snuggled close, because even if he was tall he was still his dad’s boy and it was late. Brian loved the feeling of a warm and sleepy Gus. He smiled when he saw Fluffy appear out of the darkness and join them on the sofa sitting at the other end with all his ends tucked in, his green eyes luminous in the dark.

“Dad you have to get over yourself and call Justin. You’re driving us all nuts.” Gus began. “I know you like him and I bet he likes you too. So why don’t you ask him over for dinner or something.”

“Gus,” Brian began not sure what to say. “Justin has his own life, he seems happy. He doesn’t really need me to intrude. He’s young and handsome, he’ll find someone to sweep him off his feet one of these days and he doesn’t need some ugly old fart hanging around crimping his style.”

“Oh for crap sake.” Gus said exasperated. “If you weren’t my father I’d slug you for being so dumb. Justin is lonely, he told me that. He liked you, everyone could tell, even you must have been able to tell that he liked you. He’s young and handsome and for some reason he happens to like you, scruffy beard and all.” Gus turned so that he was looking up at his father. “Dad, you have to stop thinking that you’re ugly. You aren’t. Maybe you should see a shrink or something.” He ducked his head after he said the words. Gus wasn’t stupid by any means and he knew they were fighting words as far as his father was concerned.

Brian had to laugh at his son’s words. “Tell me what you really think Gus.” He said.

“You’re not mad at me?” Gus asked.

“Of course not. You must feel strongly about this or you wouldn’t have brought it up.”

“All I know Dad is that when you and Justin are together you’re my old dad back. Your eyes smile and everything.”

“Really?” 

“Really.”

“Then I guess I should give Justin a call. He probably doesn’t even remember me.”

“He won’t have forgotten about you dad – you’re unforgettable.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“Hey I’m your kid of course you get my vote.” Gus looked at his father. “Call him right now.”

“Gus it’s almost five in the morning.”

“He won’t care.”

“He’ll be sleeping.”

“Trust me, he won’t mind.” Gus handed his father the phone. “It’s the third number on the speed dial.” Brian looked at his son quizzically. “Hey, I like to be prepared.” Gus said with a wide grin that reminded Brian of Justin. Gus watched his father push the button and then he stood up whispering, “I’ll give you some privacy.” Before heading back for bed and some much needed sleep.

Justin heard the phone ring and he reached for it his heart pounding. It was Brian, it had to be Brian, he said this over and over in his mind as he picked up the phone. It was the same mantra he’d been saying each time the phone rang for the last two weeks.

“Justin Taylor” his voice was soft and filled with sleep.

“I’m sorry I woke you up Sunshine, but I wanted to talk to you.”

“Brian?”

“Who else would presume that you’d want to hear from him at five in the morning?”

“My hordes of crazed fans?” Justin teased. “I thought you’d given up on me.”

“Never” the word was spoken with reverence. “I could never give up on you.”

“Never is a long time.” 

“I’d wait.”

Justin laughed. “When can I see you?”

“Is ten minutes okay?”

“Come as you are.”

“I will.”

“Later Brian.”

Justin hung up the phone, his world was suddenly brighter. Brian hadn’t forgotten him and soon he’d be over. He got out of bed to brush his teeth. He wanted his breath fresh for what he hoped was some intense kissing. 

^^^^^^^^
“Gus, I’m going out” Brian called. “I don’t know what time I’ll be back.”

“Have fun Dad and say hello to Justin for me.” was the sleepy reply.

Brian grinned to himself as he grabbed his keys and headed for his car. The drive to Justin’s seemed to take forever, yet it was really less than ten minutes in the early morning traffic. He parked in front of the house surprised to see all of the lights on inside. His long legs carried him to the door quickly and before he had a chance to lift his hand to knock, the door opened on a sleepy eyed blond with an equally sleepy looking dog at his side. “Hey Brian, can I get you some coffee?” Justin tried to be nonchalant though he failed miserably.
“Truthfully, I’d like to go to be with you in my arms and get some sleep. I’m exhausted, I haven’t been able to sleep for almost two weeks.”

“Sounds like a plan to me.” He led the way to his bedroom. He could hear Brian turning lights out along the way and he smiled to himself. He knew that Brian knew he’d turned them on for him.

Justin unconsciously shrugged out of the sweats he’d pulled on and crawled back into his bed. Fred curled up in his own bed sighing heavily like only a put upon dog can do. Brian feeling completely at home tore off his own sweats he had on and crawled in with Justin. Immediately Justin scooted over and wrapped himself comfortably around the larger man snuggling his head onto Brian’s chest. “Hmmm, you smell wonderful” he sighed as his eyes shut and to Brian’s astonishment, Justin fell asleep.

Brian lay there with Justin in his arms. He certainly never really expected to fall asleep, but he did. He woke up refreshed for the first time in days. The smell of freshly brewed coffee filled the bedroom along with summer sunlight. Fred sat by the bed staring at him, they were nose to nose. “Hi Fred” Brian mumbled and moved out of the way of Fred’s doggy breath. “Toothpaste is your friend Fred.” He said as he rolled over only to find the other half of the bed empty.

Justin walked into the bedroom. “You’re awake. I thought I was going to have to tell Gus you’d fallen into a coma.” He giggled. “You make the most comforting sounds when you sleep. I think I’ll keep you. Will you be my sleep buddy from now on?”

“What time is it?” Brian asked. He couldn’t take his eyes of Justin who stood there in a small pair of cotton shorts shimmering in the sunlight.

“It’s just after three.” 

“You’re kidding?”

“Nope, you were a sleepy boy.”

“Hardly a boy”

“Hmmmm, you’re my boy.” Justin bounced into the bed and lay on top of Brian. “Say you’re mine.” He demanded.

“Pushy gay boy, okay I’m yours.” Brian smiled up at Justin.

“You know you are amazing when you smile.” Justin purred. “Your voice goes all smiley and soft and your eyes dance,” his fingers traced the few laugh lines Brian was creating. “You make me want to smile too.” And he leaned in close to Brian’s ear “And you make me hard.” He let his tongue trace Brian’s ear. “You taste wonderful.” He began to move down the lean body to where Brian’s very obvious hard on was leaking precum on his belly. 

“What are you doing Justin?” Brian asked though he suspected he knew.

“If you have to ask, then it’s been far too long.” Justin could help but reply. He continued to taste Brian along the way, stopping every now and then to nibble on the lush skin.
He smiled when Brian gasped. He buried his nose in the lush fur at the base of the very hard cock that continued to nudge his chin. He licked the end tasting Brian and it was his turn to moan in pleasure. Justin spent the next few minutes showing Brian just what a blind man could do with a cock until the high pitched keening coming from Brian was joined by Fred and both Justin and Brian came. Justin shooting his cum all over Brian’s legs and Brian treating Justin to a high protein snack.

Justin lay still for a moment, he was happy and satisfied. The taste of Brian in his mouth filled him with pleasure. “Come back up here” Brian said though his hand was still tangled in Justin’s fine blond hair holding him in place.

“Can’t move” Justin mumbled.

“Why not?”

“Too happy”

“You did all the work; I’m the one who can’t move.”

Justin started to laugh and soon Brian had joined him. They were laughing at the absurdity of the whole thing. Brian wiggled around until he was down where Justin was. He tilted Justin’s head and began to kiss him. To kiss him like he hadn’t kissed anyone in a long, long time, maybe even forever. He never gave any thought to the fact that his lips were working just fine, his tongue had no problem finding Justin’s. In fact he couldn’t think at all because his senses were full of the taste and smell of the man he was kissing. Brian moaned in pleasure, he was hard again and so was Justin. “Condoms?” he managed to ask.

“Don’t have any.” Justin groaned. “Never needed them”

Brian had the same problem. Something he had never been without in years past, now he never carried. He pushed himself away from Justin. Both of them lay panting side by side. “We have to stop now, before we can’t stop at all. I want you safe, I want you around for a long time.” Brian managed to gasp.

“Next time, I’ll do the boy scout thing.” Justin said. “Be Prepared.”

Brian laughed. “We’re both bad boy scouts.”

“In more ways than one.” Justin replied laughing too.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Justin became part of the Kinney clan’s family. He fit in with the rest of them easily and even Michael accepted him after seeing how happy Brian was. There were a few things that both men kept to themselves. Justin because he was afraid of chasing Brian away and Brian because if he talked about it then he’d have to admit feelings he wasn’t ready to admit.

Justin’s passion for sculpting the man of his dreams hadn’t ended when he’d found Brian. If anything it intensified and as he sat in his studio working he often wondered if he was unconsciously sculpting Brian’s face, for by now he knew it as well as his own. Though the beard Brian wore to hide behind made it hard to know for sure.

He had never invited Brian into his studio; somehow the subject never had come up. When Brian was at his house they were interested in other things and when he was in the loft and Gus was there they spent more time talking and joking about their everyday lives.

“Dad are you and Justin going to get married?” Gus asked one Friday evening as he watched his father getting dressed. He was bringing Justin to their place for dinner.

“Why?” Brian asked always curious as to what his son was thinking.

“I just wondered. Mom is getting married to Melanie.”

“They’re lesbians, lesbian like all that marriage stuff.”

“I like it too and I’m not a lesbian.”

“I should hope not.” Brian huffed a laugh as he tied his tie.

“Do you love Justin?”

“I suppose.” Brian admitted. “If what I feel for him is love then I guess I love him. I know I like him a lot and I want to be with him. He makes me happy.”

“And you smile a lot and you sing songs in the shower.” Gus added.

“A sure sign of love eh Gus?” 

“Well it beats when you were an old grouch.” Gus admitted. “Have you told Justin you love him?”

“You’re awfully nosey.” 
“I just want to know. I’m a kid and I like to know things. Adults never tell kids stuff.”

“No I haven’t told Justin I love him.” Brian was becoming uncomfortable with this conversation. He pulled on his jacket. “Did you order dinner?”

“Yeah, but I think you should learn to cook.” 

“You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” Brian smirked.

“Yes you can. I taught Fred to turn around and to smile.” Gus looked at his father critically, “You could give Justin an engagement ring for Christmas.”

“Dykes again Gus, we’re gay not dykes.”

Gus rolled his eyes. “Did you ask him yet how come you both wear the same ring?”

“I told you that question is off limits.” 

“I don’t see why, it’s a good question. You’d think you’d be curious.”

“Curiosity kills the cat.” 

“What is this the night of old sayings?” Gus giggled.

“If the shoe fits.” Brian quipped and both he and Gus dissolved in laughter the topic of conversation once again put on the back burner.

Brian did think that maybe it was time he asked Justin about his ring. Every time he saw it on the other man’s hand he was curious. Maybe he would ask tonight.

As usual the house was ablaze with lights. Seeing it like that when he knew he was expected always made Brian smile. “Hey beautiful” he said when he walked through the door. He’d long ago been given a key. 

“I’m in my studio, I’ll be right out.” Justin called.

Brian headed toward the voice. He’d never actually been in the studio before. Preferring the bedroom to any other room in the house.

Justin smiled when he heard Brian approaching. And then he was curious why the man had suddenly stopped. “Brian, what’s wrong?” he asked. He could hear a difference in Brian’s breathing. 

“Fuck Justin what’s this all about?” Brian swept his arm to indicate the various sculptures and paintings.

“Brian, what’s what all about, blind you remember?” Justin said with a nervous laugh.

“Justin the place is filled with sculptures and pictures of me from the time I was about thirteen to now.” Brian was having a hard time believing what he was seeing. “I’m not kidding Justin, what’s this all about. It’s creeping me out.”

Justin began to tremble. “Bri, Bri are you sure it’s you?” He asked as he sank to the floor. His knees gave out and he couldn’t stand any longer. “It just my dreams, I told you I have these dreams. I’ve always had them ever since I can remember. The first paintings were done when I was in high school. I thought if I got him down on paper I’d get him out of my head, but it never happened. He got older and I got older. I figure he’s about ten years older than I am, but I’m not sure. And then there was the accident and I couldn’t see to paint him anymore, but the dreams were there only now they were day and night I could see his face so I learned to sculpt and I built him over and over.”

Brian turned toward Justin and seeing him on the floor ran over to him gathering him into his arms. “Justin, I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean to sound like I did. I was just surprised. I don’t know why you’ve been seeing me. It’s weird, like a lot of weird things that have happened to me over the years.”

“You’re not mad at me?” Justin asked his voice low. “It can’t be you. I mean you and I are the same age.”

“I’m twenty nine Justin.”

“I’m twenty six, so close enough.” Justin gave a half laugh and his fingers went up to caress Brian’s face. He loved the feel of the thick beard all soft and silky.

“While we’re baring all” Brian said. “Why do you wear the same ring as I do?”

“That’s easy Brian. I designed them. I designed them, had them made and won an award for the design. I was going to wear one and the other one would be for the man I loved. I knew he was out there somewhere, I just didn’t know where. The day of my accident I lost track of the other ring. I’ve always wondered how you got it.”

“I really don’t know. One night I went to bed with no ring on and the next morning I woke up with the ring on. I never wear jewelry but for some reason I find that when I take the ring off I feel bad until it’s back on again.”

Justin was quiet while he thought of what Brian had said. “Do you remember the date it happened? He asked softly.

“Yes, it was a couple of years ago. There was a full moon out that night, I think it was in October.”

“The night of my accident.” 
They looked at each other, wondering about the consequences of what had happened and why it happened.

“Brian, I don’t know why this happened, but I do know that I love you wearing the ring I made. It makes me feel like we have a connection that’s maybe bigger than both of us.”

Brian was silent as he held the smaller blond in his arms. Finally, kissing the top of his head he whispered. “I understand what you’re feeling. I feel it too.”

After that afternoon, something changed between the two men. They had always been comfortable in each other’s presence, but now it when they were together they both felt more complete. Justin was secretly thrilled that the man he’d seen in his dreams looked like Brian. It was the hardest thing about being blind the fact that he couldn’t see the man he’d fallen in love with, really see him and not just what his fingers told him. But now he knew. He knew he had auburn hair and hazel eyes, oh he’d been told that, but this was different, much different.

Christmas came and passed and Gus’ eleventh birthday was celebrated on New Year’s and Justin had never been happier. Brian was happy as well, but still reserved. He knew that Gus would dearly love him to ask Justin to marry him. But something held him back.

And then with the latest check up at his eye specialist Justin was told he needed to have surgery because of a build up of fluid on the back of his eyes. It was restricting the blood vessels and could cause each of the eyes to eventually have to be removed. It wasn’t so much the thought of this additional indignity that bothered Justin, but the thought of what it would do to Brian. Brian who called him his ‘pretty boy’ who whispered to him about the color of his eyes, who told him how beautiful he was. Brian liked beautiful things around him, Justin knew this instinctively and with his eyes gone, even replaced by glass the best money could buy, it just wouldn’t be the same.

So Justin, not knowing the outcome of the surgery decided to go to New York to have it done. Effectively disappearing from the life of Brian Kinney and Gus. On the eve of Brian’s thirtieth birthday. He wrote a note to Brian and left the house in Pittsburgh with Fred not knowing if he was going to return.

Brian unaware of what had been bothering Justin for the past few weeks, decided that it was time they talked. He headed over to the blond’s house determined to find out what was on his mind. Opening the door he knew right away that no one was home. He wandered inside and found the note on the kitchen counter addressed to him.

Brian sat at the counter and read the note through twice. It wasn’t very clear what the medical problem was or where Justin was going to have it looked after. Brian felt himself grow cold inside at the thought of losing the man he loved. Yes loved, he finally could admit to himself and he was ready to admit it to Justin and the world. So he did something he never thought he’d do. He looked through the papers on Justin’s desk and then opened up his computer to check the email. It was there that he found the hospital and the arrangements that had been made. And it was there that he saw something Justin hadn’t known about. The letter read fine – if you could see – the final paragraph said that there was also the possibility that his sight would return partially or even completely. But the voice program hadn’t spoken the words probably because of an excess of space between the last sentences. Nothing was ever foolproof, even this software.

So Brian headed to the bathroom and found Justin’s razors. He carefully shaved off the beard he’d been hiding behind. Then he changed his ring from his right hand to his left hand and headed for his car. Calling ahead on his cell phone he told Gus where he was going and why and asked him to make a reservation on the first flight to New York for him.

Brian arrived at the hospital on his thirtieth birthday, not that he remembered what day it was. It was six thirty in the morning and he stood outside of Justin’s room. They were prepping him for surgery; soon he’d be taken to the operating theater. When the gurney rolled out of the room, Brian intercepted it. 

Justin knew right away that Brian was there. It was like some kind of sixth sense he had where the man he loved was concerned. “Brian?” he said, groggy from the tranquilizing shot they’d given him. 

“I’m here Sunshine.” Brian held onto the Justin’s cold hand as they moved along the corridor. “I want you to know something. I love you. I love you with all my heart and soul and no matter what the outcome of this, I’ll still love you. When this is all over with I’m taking you back to Pittsburgh with me. We’ll find a house for all of us and that includes Fred. I’m not spending another night away from you, ever.” He bent down and like a fairy tale prince, he kissed his princess. The room went dark and when it lightened again Brian was sitting on the floor of his loft with Justin curled up on his lap. Fluffy was looking at them puzzled as to what was happening and Gus stood there open mouthed.

Six times six has come to pass. Love freely given will always last. My gift to you is eternity. For a love like yours will surpass. The words came out of no where.

Justin looked at Brian and Brian looked at Justin. “Brian, I had the weirdest dream.” Justin began. 

“I did too.” Brian shook his head. “Justin Taylor I can’t imagine life without you. You’ll probably drive me crazy, you are after all you’re closer to Gus’ age, but damn I love you.” 

“It’s about time you guys.” Gus declared. “I was getting sooooo sick of this.”

Brian and Justin laughed. “It’s been a long ride hasn’t it Gus?” Justin said. He looked at Brian. “I hope the other Justin likes my old life because I don’t think he’s coming back.”

“It won’t be as good as your new life, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he likes it just fine.” Brian stood up and pulled Justin up beside him. “I think that if we are going to be together for the long run, we’d better consider getting married.”

“What’s your hurry?” Justin asked. “We can do it anytime.”

“Hey, does that mean that you guys won’t ever look any older?” Gus looked from one to the other. “Cause we might have a problem here.”

“You’re a smart boy Gus; you figure it out for us. We’ll be around as long as you want us. And we’ll be around for your children and your children’s children. We just need to work out a plan.”

“Hey cool, I’ll put the question to the class hypothetical of course. If a classroom of geniuses can’t figure it out, no one can.”

“Let us know Sonny Boy, but right now Justin and I need to take a nap. It’s been a long day.”

“Nap’ right Dad. Gus shook his head. “Come on Fluffy, we know when we’re not needed.” He turned to his bedroom when he reached the door he looked at Brian and Justin and grinned widely. “I love you guys.” He said before he and Fluffy entered his room and closed his door.

Completed April 22,2004