Broken Dreams - 1 
Plot bunny – Judy
Dedicated to Mouse

Brian stepped out of the float plane onto the dock. It took him a few minutes to convince his body that he was actually touching land. He looked around not quite sure what he was seeing was real. It was like stepping into a magical painting. 

He stepped away from the plane letting the pilot and his assistant unload his gear. Right now he had to take in what he was seeing. The place was silent now that the planes engine had been turned off. There wasn’t the sound of a bird or even wind in the trees. He looked around, in the distance he could see a good sized log house surrounded by a number of smaller buildings also built from logs. 

A dog lay in a patch of sunlight on the porch, but he wasn’t interested in what was happening on the dock. He’d merely raised his head and then lowered it back down to continue his nap. A fat cat sat on a fence post, its ends tucked in as it watched everything with interest. 

From the top of one of the tallest cedar trees Brian had ever seen, a raven dropped to the ground in an effortless float, landing a few feet from him. The large black bird cocked its head to one side, looking at Brian. Black eyes shone like diamonds as the bird watched him inquisitively. 

Brian’s head went back as he took in the mountains outlined with cotton ball clouds that floated in a sky so blue he was sure it was painted on a backdrop and this was a gigantic stage. 

Slowly he began to hear sounds and he realized that the roar of the plane‘s engines had deafened him slightly. He could hear the steady chop of an axe that fell somewhere behind the house. The water lapping at the shore and the rat,rat,rat of a woodpecker somewhere in the forest all were sounding in the daylight that was beginning to wane. 

“Mr. Kinney, we’re taking off now. I’m sure that Justin will be here shortly. He’s been back from his last trip up country for a week now. I know he was expecting you.” Brian turned to face the pilot and noticed his belongings were piled carefully on the narrow wooden dock.

“You can’t just leave me here. There isn’t anyone around and we seem to be at the end of the world.” Brian looked out on the mirror like water of the northern lake where the small plane had landed. 

The pilot laughed, “Justin is probably up at the house. It’s not far.” He nodded toward the log structure. 
“Well he’d better get his ass down here and get my gear,” Brian’s voice was demanding. 

“Good one Mr. Kinney, good one,” the pilot laughed. “Apparently you’ve never met Justin Taylor. He’s one of the best damn outfitters you’ll ever come across, but he’s nobody’s pack mule. You’ll find that out.”

“He’s being paid well enough to guide me,” Brian grumbled. 

“Mr. Kinney, you’re damn lucky that he had a cancellation. Justin is very particular about who and when he guides. His father started this outfitting business more than twenty years ago. Justin was raised here but he sure as fuck doesn’t have to stay here. He’s famous for his paintings, especially those of the Spirit Bears. No one else has ever gotten so close to them as Justin has. Yep, you’re damn lucky to be here. Not everyone gets this opportunity to even be near Ts’yl-os Lake let alone on it.” The pilot made his way back onto the plane not before saying, “If I were you, I’d head to the lodge. It gets dark quickly and you just don’t know who might be out looking for dinner in the night.”

Brian was sure that he could hear the pilot’s laughter over the sound of the engines as the small plane moved away from the dock and headed out into the middle of the lake. Then again it could be the raven that was now meowing like a cat as it hopped toward him. “Bugger off bird,” Brian said with a half laugh. Who would have thought a stupid bird could meow. 

“That’s George, he’s not bad for a raven, but don’t leave anything shiny around. He’ll be taking it home to his nest,” the voice was filled with laughter.

Brian turned suddenly at the sound. He was sure he stopped breathing for a moment as a blond man, his chest bare and glistening with sweat, wearing a pair of ragged blue jeans and heavy hiking boots, glided toward him. The dog, no longer lounging on the porch and larger than life had padded alongside its owner, now stood beside him. Its ears up on alert, eyes yellow and fur as black as the raven. The fat calico cat now sat up straight on her post enjoying her late afternoon show. 

“I’m Justin Taylor let’s get your gear up to the lodge.” He bent down and picked up one of Brian’s bags as if it weighed nothing. 

Still not having spoken, Brian picked up the other two and followed behind the blond stranger, mesmerized by the beauty of him. It was so unexpected in this Canadian wilderness that was Ts’yl-os Lake. 

“I take it that you’re Brian Kinney, the famous film producer.” The words were said with an amused inflection that didn’t escape Brian’s notice. “I really don’t know what you think you’re going to find out here. The ecology of the place is too fragile to support a full film crew and actors for any length of time without you all doing too much damage.”

“I thought you were an outfitter. Don’t you take hunters out? Don’t they influence the ecology?” Brian asked forcing himself to speak without panting. He was in shape but the walk to the lodge was misleading. What he thought was a flat plain was actually a steady rise. Justin’s walk was a silent and smooth glide. Brian was sure that the man didn’t disturb so much as a pebble. The dog and now the cat were equally smooth making Brian feel like some kind of lumbering ox as he slipped and struggled with his two bags ten steps behind the group.

“I NEVER guide hunters. Taylor Outfitting has never seen the need to take gun happy animal murdering assholes out into the wilderness to indiscriminately shoot any poor thing that happens along,” Justin paused in his walk to face Brian when he spoke. He wanted to make sure his words were clearly understood by the man in case he had any ideas of hunting in the Spirit Bear’s territory.

“And yet, you’re still in business,” Brian mused. “If you don’t guide hunters, who do you and your father guide?” He was going to have a word with his research department when he returned. Brian couldn’t believe the frost that had reached the blond’s voice when he spoke about sports hunters.

“Apparently your big time research department missed its mark, Justin drawled. “Mr. Kinney, my father is retired. He retired a year ago. Taylor Outfitters guide those interested in filming, photographing, or just interested in the area. We don’t use any form of combustion vehicles when guiding. It’s strictly walk in or horseback depending on where you want to go. Our animals are well trained pack and trail horses and are better than any all terrain vehicle.”

“How would my company get its gear in to film?” Brian asked. He looked around and couldn’t believe how solidly packed the forest appeared. It didn’t look like a person could make its way through the shadowed green let alone a horse.

“If we find what you’re looking for and if you can get the appropriate permission from the First Nations people who own the land, you would more than likely helicopter your equipment in. But I warn you, you’d have to agree to leave the area just as you found it. That means what you pack in, you pack out and that includes everything.” 

“Everything?” Brian’s eyebrows rose. 

“Everything down to the last bit of shit. You’d need to copter in porta potties. It’s one thing to piss and shit in the woods when there are only one or two of us on a hike in and if it’s a day hike, we pack it out ourselves; but quite another for a whole crew... bad for the ecology.” 

They had reached the front porch of one of the largest log structures that Brian had ever seen. It was enormous and the view from the dock didn’t show even half of what he was seeing now. “Big house,” Brian commented without thinking.

“We like it,” Justin said. He walked up the eight steps that were made of logs that had been sawn flat and stood on the porch that surrounded three sides of the building. “My father built this almost thirty years ago. Of course he still lived in Pittsburgh at the time and he only came up here in the summer. The summer vacations became longer and longer and soon we were here all year round. The area is magical and has a tendency like all magical places, to capture one’s soul.”

“Will I meet him?” Brian asked now he was struggling to catch his breath. He’d climbed the steps and stood beside Justin looking out in the direction they’d just come.

“I don’t see why not. He’s in the house with my mother and sister. Molly my sister just came back from her latest stint in civilization. She’s still entertaining them with her adventures,” Justin gave a half laugh. “Come on in and I’ll get you settled in your room.”

“Why didn’t any of you meet my plane?” Brian asked. “If you have a house full of people?”

“Why should we? We knew you were coming in Bob called us on the radio to let us know when you’d be arriving. You can see the lodge from the dock. Even a big city dude like yourself should have been able to figure out where you’d be staying,” Justin laughed. “Besides I was chopping wood. I like the exercise and I still had fifteen minutes to go,” he grinned. “It’s part of my daily work out routine. Works out my body and my soul and as an added bonus, we have firewood for the winter.”

“Justin stop being an asshole and let Brian come into the house and get settled,” Molly stood in the doorway. “Hey Brian,” she drifted over and kissed his cheek. It’s been awhile.” 

“Hey Molly, I didn’t know you were part of Taylor Outfitters. Here I thought you were just another pretty face,” he grinned at her and leaned down to kiss her on the forehead. 

“I’m not part of the company. I’m part of the family, but that’s it. I need the city to live; not all of this,” she threw out her hands to embrace the view. “I guess our party conversations never took us to investigate each others backgrounds,” she shrugged. “I have a photo shoot in Paris for six months coming up. I figured I might as well come home for visit first.”

“I heard about that shoot,” Brian smiled at her. “That was quite a coup getting the assignment.” 

“I have the looks and the talent, who better?” Molly laughed and headed back inside. “Come on in, I’ll show you to your room and give you the scoop on Justin.”

“Molly, keep your mouth shut about me,” Justin growled. Not sure he liked the easy way his sister had with this rather interesting man. He’d been sure Brian was gay, but now the way he acted around Molly, he didn’t know. He was almost glad she’d come out to join them. He might have made a mistake and pissed the other guy off before their contract had even started. 

“I’d rather have the scoop on your upcoming trip to Paris,” Brian was saying as he followed his friend. They walked into a large foyer that spilled into a room that was open to the rafters. A stonewall graced one end of the room and held a large fireplace. The largeness of the room was broken up into small oasis of leather furniture that looked old and comfortable and formed conversation areas.

Molly chattered away and led Brian to a wide staircase made again from half logs like the stairs outside. It wound its way up and twisted to the right. It was then that Brian noticed an identical staircase on the other side of the room. “The guest rooms are on this side of the house. The family bedrooms on the other side,” Molly explained noticing Brian’s stare. “The bedrooms are kind of fun and each one has its own bathroom. So you don’t have to share,” she grinned at him. “I bet you thought we peed in the woods.”

“No, Justin set me straight on that one. Apparently I’m going to have to hold it for the week we’re hiking in there,” Brian grinned at her.

“It’s not that bad and it’s a lot easier on you peeing in a bottle than on me. My aim really sucks,” she laughed as she remembered some of her less stellar moments in the vast forests outside their door.

“So he was serious,” Brian shook his head.

“Well actually, the rule about that is more for large groups or for well traveled trails. It might not seem like much, but if you followed the same trail as the group Justin was guiding last week and had to dodge piles of poop, you’d know what I’m talking about.”

Brian shuddered at the thought. “Strange but I never thought about stuff like this. I just figured that it wouldn’t matter. After all bears shit in the woods.”

“Yes, but not close to well traveled trails where humans go,” she giggled. “Actually they do, but I was hoping you’d find that out by yourself. I think they like to make a statement of sorts.”

“Yeah, like get the fuck out of my home,” Justin said from behind them. “Are you going to show Brian his room or are you just going to yak all day?” 

“I like the view from this balcony,” Brian replied. “I feel like Juliet.” He looked out at the view of the large room downstairs. From here you could get the full impact of the size of the room. He noticed one wall at the rear was filled with bookcases. The books overflowed and some lay stacked on their sides on the shelves. “Lots of books,” he observed inanely. 

“Yeah, we all actually read,” Justin drawled before turning to a door. “This is your room.” He disappeared through the door as Molly and Brian dutifully followed. Justin dumped the case he was carrying on the floor. “The rest of your cases are still on the porch. I wouldn’t leave them there overnight. Leather attracts curious wildlife.” His voice was amused and he gave Brian a half smile before heading out the door of Brian’s room.

“Your brother seems to have a bit of an attitude problem,” Brian observed. He sat on the king size bed and bounced a couple of times. The mattress was firm the way he liked it. Despite the fact that all the walls were constructed of logs, the room had a certain elegant beauty. “Where are the oil lamps or candles?” Brian asked. He could only see regular lamps. In fact, there was a desk with a computer receptacle close by and even a television set.

“Why do you want a smelly dirty old oil lamp?” Molly asked. “We do have electricity.”

“How?” 

“We make our own. It’s not that hard. We have generators powered by water and wind and solar power batteries as well. It just depends what circuit things are on determines what source of power they use. It’s really the only way to go. I mean otherwise we wouldn’t even have water from the well. You need power for the pump. It would really suck having to pump water by hand all the time.”

“That’s for sure,” Brian replied having no idea what she was talking about.

Molly laughed; she knew that Brian was clueless about stuff like this. “I’ll leave you to explore your suite. There’s beer in the fridge. You’ll probably want to relax before dinner.” She checked her watch, “Which will be in less than an hour, so don’t relax too much,” she grinned. “Mom will call you when dinner is ready. Do you want me to come and get you, or do you think you’ll be able to find your way downstairs. The dining room is kind of under these rooms, in a general sort of way.”

“I think I’ll manage,” Brian smiled at her. “I’m glad you’re here Molly, we have a lot of catching up to do.”

“I’m not staying long. I have fittings in New York and a one week shoot in LA before I head to Paris. But I’ll be here for the rest of the week. How long are you staying?” 

“I was planning at least a week but maybe two. It depends on the locations I find. I’m combining this scouting mission with a vacation of sorts. It’s been a while since I’ve had any free time.”

“Well this is a good place to escape,” Molly grinned at him. “We have a lot of things but good telephone service isn’t one of them.”

“I brought a satellite phone if I need anything,” Brian assured her.

“Yeah, like to escape,” Molly laughed. “Good luck on that one Brian,” she gave him a quick hug before leaving.

Brian decided he’d better head down to the porch and get the rest of his suitcases. He opened his door and was surprised to find them both sitting in the hallway. He smiled thinking it must have been Justin who had relented. Maybe he did have a chance to score during these two weeks. He hoped so, otherwise he’d have to rely on his hand.

Taking in his suitcases, Brian spent the next half hour unpacking. There was nothing he hated worse than living out of a suitcase. No matter how long he spent here, he wasn’t about to compromise. The bathroom was a pleasant surprise. It was large and all the fixtures were oversized like they were built for two. Even the tub looked long enough and wide enough for him to soak in with someone close. There were no curtains on the windows or even blinds. Brian wondered at that and then realized who in hell would be out in the woods watching him anyway. He didn’t realize that the design of the roof lines gave him a great view out, but allowed little view in on the second story.

There wasn’t really time to have a quick shower or to even relax as Molly had instructed, so Brian stowed his empty luggage at the back of a spacious closet and turned to look longingly at the bed. In the center of it was a large black cat sprawled wantonly in luxury on the thick duvet. He looked up lazily at Brian and then shut his green eyes to go back to sleep. “Where in heck did you come from?” Brian asked. He looked around, his door was shut and he couldn’t see any other way for the cat to have made its way inside the room.

“You have to leave now,” Brian said and moved toward the bed. It wasn’t that he didn’t like cats or dogs but that he’d had no experience with them at all. His mother wouldn’t even considering having an animal in the house and since he’d been on his own, he’d never bothered getting a pet. They were too much trouble for him. He reached for the sleeping cat and as his hand touched it a paw went out and swatted him. The cat was so large and well muscled that even without his claws out, he packed quite a wallop. Brian pulled his hand back and glared at the cat. “Get off my bed you flea farm,” he growled at the cat who looked at him and rolled on his back. Brian leaned forward to grab the cat again and again the cat hit him, this time with both paws. Brian was sure the large cat was smiling at him. “Get out the same you got in then, see if I care.” Brian turned his back on the bed and opened the door to his room. The cat jumped from the bed and stretched long, front first and then back. He strolled over to the door and reached up, hitting the knob and releasing the door. With one paw he pulled it open enough for him to exit and slowly strolled out, the end of his tail flicking in annoyance.

Brian couldn’t help but laugh at the antics of the cat. He’d have to ask the Taylor’s why there weren’t any locks on the bedroom doors.

Coming up the staircase was a blond woman; she had to be Justin and Molly’s mother Brian thought. “Hello Mrs. Taylor,” Brian said as she approached. “I was admiring the view from the balcony.”

“Yes, I was able to watch the children without them knowing,” she smiled. “It did come in handy on occasion. Justin was forever drawing and he didn’t mind using the logs as his canvas.” She turned to go back down the stairs. “I was coming to let you know that dinner is ready. I’m sure you’re hungry after all the traveling you’ve done to get here.”

“I could eat,” Brian admitted as he followed her down the stairs. “Your home is lovely, but I noticed that there are no locks on the bedroom doors.”

“Yes, we had them all removed. We have a couple of cats, Boomer and Bang, they’re black ones, I’m sure you’ll run into them. They have developed the ability to open doors, but not locked ones. One or two accidents of having them locked into rooms was all that was necessary to remove the locks. You really don’t have to worry Mr. Kinney, you and your possessions are safe here. There’s only the family and the couple who care take for us here at the moment.”

“I believe I’ve met one of the cats, a rather large black one.” 

“Well that could have been either Boomer or Bang, we really can’t tell them apart. They’re both large and black,” she smiled. “Or maybe there’s only one of them and we just see him lots of places.” 

Brian smiled at her joke politely and wondered what he’d gotten himself into. Maybe he could get out of here sooner than a week.

“Hey Brian,” Molly greeted him when he arrived in the dining room. She was placing a bowl of something on the table. “Sit down over there,” she indicated a chair. Justin walked into the room looking freshly showered. It was apparent to Brian that the sweatshirt and jeans that he had on weren’t bought at the local Wal-Mart, but rather were a designer label. He took his seat across the table from Brian. Justin’s mother and Molly came out of the kitchen carrying trays that they placed on a sideboard and then began adding the dishes on them to bring to the table. 

“Hello, you must be Brian Kinney,” Brian turned at the voice. A man who had to be Justin’s father was making his way painfully through the door, balancing himself on two crutches. “I’m Craig Taylor. I’m sure you’ve met the others of our motley crew of Taylor Outfitters,” he smiled at Brian. “Let me get seated and I’ll introduce you formally if you haven’t.”

“I’ve known Molly for years Mr. Taylor,” Brian said. “I just had no idea that this is where she grew up. I’m afraid she’s kept that part of herself secret.” 

“Yes well like all children, they couldn’t wait to escape our bit of heaven. (And) Each of them flew off as soon as they were able to. Molly flits back every now and then to make us smile at some of her exploits and Justin, well he returned to take over the business when it became apparent that I’d guided my last.” Craig sat down on his chair that had been built for him specially. It was deeply padded and had arms that he could rest on. He placed his crutches to one side and then looked at everyone at the table, “Shall we give thanks and then let’s eat.”

“Lord, thank you for the day we’ve had and the food we are about to eat. Amen,” Justin mumbled. 

“I always want to say, “may you live long and prosper and then give the Vulcan hand signal,” Molly whispered to Brian who was sitting beside him.

“Molly, we all heard that,” Jennifer chided. “You should be grateful for what you’ve been given. You had a wonderful upbringing in God’s country and now you have a great career, even if it is as a model.”

“Yes mom,” Molly said looking down at the table. Brian wondered if he was only one who saw the tip of her tongue stick out. He reached over and gave her knee a reassuring pat.

Justin watched the exchange between his sister and Brian and his heart fell. Brian was apparently straight and he’d obviously been close to Molly. “So Brian, do you have children who are ungrateful for their lot in life?” Justin asked. “Or is it just Craig and Jennifer Taylor who are burdened with us.”

“I do have a son, his name is Gus. Considering he’s barely three, I have no idea whether he’s grateful or not,” Brian smiled. “You remember Gus he said to Molly, he’s talking a blue streak all the time and is showing an interest in drawing. He’ll be just like his mother.”

“How is Lindsay?” Molly asked. “I wasn’t able to see her the last time I was in Pittsburgh. I was only there for two days and I was busy shooting the whole time.”

“Linds is just fine. Gus keeps her busy and now she’s talking about working again. I’m not so sure I like the idea of Gus being in day care, but I guess it won’t hurt him,” Brian answered her.

Justin was even more depressed as he listened to Brian and his sister talk. Not only was Brian straight, he was married with a kid. Justin’s nightmare that was his life wasn’t about to end this week. With every new job that came to Ts’yl-os Lake, he had hopes of finding someone who he could love and who would love him back. He was twenty eight and lonely as hell. It didn’t help to have his parents pushing every female that could breathe and lived within five hundred miles at him. He couldn’t tell them that he wasn’t in the least remotely interested.

He had his memories of New York and Seattle to keep him warm at night. He almost smiled at the thought of what his parents would do if they knew that he was as gay as blazes. Unfortuntely, he was back here fulfilling his father’s dream of working the outfitting company. The sad part was, it was his father’s dream, not his. 

“So Justin, your pilot says that you paint,” Brian said trying to bring the blond into the conversation at the table. He was surprised when all talk stopped. You’d have thought that he’d sworn out loud or something. It was apparently a taboo subject.

“I used to,” Justin muttered. He stood up suddenly, leaving his dinner untouched. “I’m going to check on the horses,” he said.

“But honey, eat your dinner first,” Jennifer Taylor looked at her son with compassion. She knew how much he’d given up to come home and run the ranch and the outfitting business.

“I’ll eat it later,” Justin hurried out of the room.

The people around the table continued to eat though all conversation had ceased. Brian was glad when dinner finally came to an end. He refused dessert and used the excuse that he’d had a long day and needed to get some sleep.
“I’m going to get some air out on the porch and then I think I’ll head to bed,” Brian said. “Can I help you clear the table?” he asked Molly and Jennifer.

“No, dear, you’re the guest,” Jennifer said. “Molly and I have it under control. I’ll save you a piece of pie in the fridge should you change your mind later. Breakfast is whenever you get downstairs. We aren’t formal in the morning as we all have different schedules. I know that you and Justin will be doing a couple of day hikes before you go on the big one. Let me know if there’s anything you don’t like to eat before I pack your lunch.”

“I eat pretty much anything,” Brian replied. 

“No allergies to food then?” Jennifer asked. “Justin has so many allergies when he was a child, I always ask.” 

“No allergies,” Brian smiled and got up. “See you later Molly,” he said and winked at her. She knew he meant that she could come to his room later. They would play cards and have a couple of drinks and talk about old times. It was something they’d often done when she’d run into Brian at various out of the way shoots. Brian was a good friend to have in the modeling business.

Brian found his way outside. The darkness hit him like a thick wool blanket and he stopped just outside the door for his eyes to adjust. Slowly he began to make out shadows on the ground. It was too dark for him to even think of walking anywhere off the wooden structure, he’d get lost for sure. The light escaping from the windows of the lodge provided him with enough light to make his way to a corner. He sat down on a barely noticed chair and stared out into the black shadows. It was like something from a horror movie. He’d never realized just how black things were at night. 

As the night air wrapped its cool arms around him, Brian began to make out different sounds. He heard the wicker of a horse and listened to a cat call out in its hunting rounds. He thought of the dinner he’d had and wondered what was up about Justin. The pilot said he was famous for his paintings. Yet the subject seemed to cause the blond pain. He’d have to ask Molly later.

A noise, almost a muffled sob sounded close by. Brian listened and heard the sound again. He stood up, his eyes adjusting slowly to the darkness. The sound seemed to be coming from around the corner of the long porch. He kept his hand on the railing and walked slowly into an even darker area of the porch. There were no lighted windows to add their illumination on this side. 

“What do you want?” it was Justin Taylor’s voice.

“Nothing, I was just getting some air before bed,” Brian replied. “Did you tuck in all the horses?” 

“Not yet. I’ll go to the stables in a few minutes. They don’t expect me until close to nine,” Justin blew his nose. “Sorry, allergies,” he said.

“Yeah, they can be a bitch,” Brian replied. He still couldn’t see where the other man stood, but he thought maybe it was about three feet further down the railing. “How did you know I was here, it’s darker than the inside of a cave.”

“You’re very noisy,” Justin said with a small laugh. “I could hear you coming.”

“I didn’t think I was making any noise,” Brian defended. 

“Don’t take stalking wild animals up as hobby, you’d be eaten.” 

“I’ll remember that,” Brian said dryly. He’d moved so that he could now smell the cologne Justin wore. Taking a chance he put a hand on the shorter man’s shoulder. “I’m sorry I asked about your painting,” Brian said softly.

Brian felt a shudder go through Justin’s body and the younger man turned toward him for comfort. Brian’s arms wrapped around him instinctively and the two of them stood in the darkness together. Finally Justin pulled away. “Sorry about that, sometimes it just gets to me. I guess you struck it lucky tonight,” Justin attempted to joke. 

“Hey we all have melt down moments,” Brian said to Justin. “I’m just glad that I could lend a shoulder.”

“I’m glad you could too,” Justin said with heartfelt fervor. It had been months since he’d experienced the touch of another man’s arms. He’d had no idea how much he’d missed it. “I’d better go ‘tuck’ in the horses as you put it.”

“I can help,” Brian offered. “It’s been a long time, but I do remember what end of a horse is what.” 

“I’d like that,” Justin replied. Amazingly enough he didn’t mind Brian coming with him. Putting the horses to bed had always been his excuse to find some time alone. They were intelligent animals and he loved to talk to them all. “I don’t use a flashlight, but I can get one if you aren’t comfortable walking in the dark.”

“I don’t mind walking in the dark if you’ll hold my hand and promise me that you won’t walk me into a hole or a cougar,” Brian joked.

“I’ll hold your hand,” Justin said and slipped his hand into Brian’s. He was pleasantly surprised when Brian’s fingers intertwined with his like old friends would do. 

“Let’s go and see your horses. I hope we don’t have to kiss them goodnight,” Brian continued to joke.

“Only if you want to,” Justin laughed. “There’s a cute filly in there.” 

“I doubt she’s my type, but you never know,” Brian smiled to himself in the darkness. Holding Justin’s hand was rather pleasant. He’d noticed the hardness of the blond’s body when he’d seen him shirtless earlier. It was even more delicious when he held him. Too bad the blond wasn’t gay Brian thought, it would make the next week or so a lot more pleasant.

“You’ll like the horses. A couple of them are almost as old as I am. We don’t work them anymore. It must be nice to retire at twenty two,” Justin laughed. He loved holding Brian’s hand. Thank gawd his father couldn’t see him.

“Horses are interesting,” Brian agreed. “I’ve only been around them when I was younger, much younger.”

“How young?” Justin asked with a laugh.

“I think I was six,” Brian admitted. “Truthfully, they scared me. They all put their ears back and smiled big yellow toothy smiles. I ran for help.” 

“And did you get any help?” Justin asked with a laugh in his voice. “Careful, there’s a dip in the ground here.” He touched Brian with his other hand, guiding him.

“No, my father slapped me silly and sent me back out into the paddock with my grandfather. Apparently the Irish are supposed to be ‘one with the horsies,” Brian snorted. 

“What happened?” Justin felt anger toward Brian’s unknown father. 

“I stood in the center of the paddock terrified... I wet my pants. And one by one the horses came over to me and surrounded me. I thought I was going to die. They just stood there until one of the smaller ones touched his nose to my hand. It was the softest thing I’d ever touched. I think they were apologizing. I patted the horses noses and scratched behind their ears for probably an hour before someone came and took me out of there.” It was a story Brian had almost forgotten and certainly one he’d never shared before. It felt good telling Justin.

“Horses are pretty smart,” Justin agreed. “They knew what was happening and wanted to make you feel good. I hope you like these ones.”

“As long as they like me,” Brian laughed. “Are we using horses on our trips?” 

“Not for two of the day hikes. We’ll use them for the one in the middle and then we’ll take a canoe around the lake and head for sacred ground. I want you to know that I’m going to show it to you, not for your movie. I don’t give a shit about your movie, but to see a part of the earth that has remained untouched by us. Though that isn’t true, it has been touched. The size has gotten smaller and the animals have had to make allowances, but still it’s fairly pure.” Justin stopped walking, “The stables are about five feet in front of us. See that dark mass?”

“Geeze, don’t you let the horses have any lights?” 

“Brian, they’re horses. They’re fine at night. Besides, “Justin slid the heavy door open. “They have Boomer and Bang to keep them company.”

“You mean that cat that was sleeping on me bed sleeps with horses?” Brian was horrified. 

“He must like you; he doesn’t sleep with just any guy,” Justin laughed and flipped the light switch on. The horses were all in their stalls waiting for him. It was a nightly ritual that benefited them all. On the back of one horse sat a black cat and another one sat on a bale of hay. 

“How do you know which cat is which?” Brian asked eyeing them suspiciously. 

“I have a fifty fifty chance of being right,” Justin grinned. “Molly named them.” He looked down at their hands that were still entwined. “You can let go now. I’m pretty sure I don’t have any attack horses in here.” 

Brian laughed with embarrassment. His hand felt empty when Justin pulled his away. Soon though they were both walking the length of the stables. Justin was introducing him to each horse and telling him stories about their lives. Brian found himself talking to the horses with Justin and having one of the best times of his life. 

“It’s time to say goodnight,” Justin told him when they’d visited with each horse and patted the two black cats. 

“Already, this was fun,” Brian laughed. “I suppose we’ll be up early for the day hike.”

“No not tomorrow. I need to evaluate how you are in the forest. The hike isn’t going to be too bad, but it’ll put you through your paces and you’ll see some interesting terrain that could be what you’re looking for.”

“Okay, sounds good,” Brian said and stepped outside the lighted stables into the thick blackness once again. He stood still as Justin turned off the stable lights and shut the door. “It hasn’t gotten any lighter,” he laughed nervously. A cold wet nose nudged his hand and Brian let out a yelp and jumped. 

“It’s only Charlie, he’s been out checking the property, he’s just saying hi.” Justin had taken Brian’s hand in his. “I’ll get you back to the house in one piece. Trust me,” Justin’s voice was almost a purr to Brian and he felt himself harden. It was a good thing that it was dark he thought.

“What time should I be up?” Brian asked trying to find some neutral ground to talk about that wouldn’t make either of them uncomfortable.

“I’m usually up by six, but really it doesn’t matter. I have a few chores to do. As you noticed my father can’t do much any longer. I’ve had to take on the running of the company.” 

“Why doesn’t he just retire from it and maybe move south. It can’t be easy for him out here.”

“My mother has been trying to get him to do that for years. He’s always had this dream that Taylor Outfitters would be run by the two of us.”

“But it isn’t your dream?” Brian asked gently.

“No, it isn’t my dream,” Justin admitted. “Molly was lucky to be a girl. She escaped early. My escape was only temporary.” 

Brian didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know Justin well enough to offer his advice. Maybe he could talk to him when they knew each other more. They walked across the dark yard in silence hand in hand. 

“Justin?” the door to the lodge opened and Brian and Justin split apart.

“Yes Mom, I’m here. I took Brian to the stables to bed the horses,” Justin smiled at Brian who caught the flash of his smile and melted.

“It was interesting Mrs. Taylor,” Brian offered. “But it’s been a long day. I’m off to bed now.”

“Are you sure you don’t want any pie?” Jennifer asked.

“No I don’t think so. I don’t like to eat carbs after seven.” Brian ran up the stairs and headed inside. He didn’t know what to think about the blond. He could hear Justin and his mother talking as the two of them walked toward the kitchen. 

Once in his room he reveled in the hot shower. He finally stepped out and walked to his bedroom while drying his hair. 

“Put these on handsome,” Molly said with a laugh and tossed him a pair of sweats. “Damn you’re still looking good.”

“Don’t you ever knock?” Brian asked as he slipped on the thick sweat pants. “You know I hate wearing sweats at this time of night.”

“Oh suck it up Brian. You don’t impress me,” she laughed. “I brought you some Beam,” she said as she poured him a glass. “I damn near died when I saw you here. I can’t believe that Brian Kinney, movie producer, drama queen extraordinaire, label queen…..” she grinned. “Have I left anything out?”

“No princess, you pretty much nailed it all,” he laughed and sat on his bed, his long legs stretched out in front of him. “Come on up and join me. You can tell me all about that cute brother of yours. After all you did promise.”

“Yes I did.” Molly handed Brian her glass to hold and climbed up on the bed with him. She pulled the duvet up over her legs because the night air had a chill in it. Brian put his arm around her shoulder pulling her close and she snuggled into him. It was a favorite position of theirs when they would talk long into the night about what was happening in New York or Paris or wherever life took them.

“Why in hell do you always have on those little bitty sleep things on[?] You’re always cold,” Brian asked. 

“They’re sexy,” she said.

“And it matters to me why?” Brian laughed. 

“You never know, you could change your mind,” Molly laughed and reached over to tickle his bare belly. It was then that Brian’s door opened and Justin stepped inside.

“Oh,” was all he could say as he looked at his sister and Brian as they fooled around in bed. 

“Hey, don’t go Justin,” Molly called. “Come on in. I was going to tell Brian all about you, now you can correct my errors.” 

“No that’s alright. I’ll leave you and Brian alone,” Justin said as he backed out. He had never felt like such an idiot. When he’d held Brian’s hand tonight he was sure that the other man had felt the spark between them. Apparently he was wrong. Brian was all man and his sister was all woman. It looked like Brian was naked under the duvet and Molly was wearing a little bit of nothing made from silk. What a fucking idiot he was.

“Too bad your brother couldn’t join us, Brian commented. Justin had looked pretty damn hot.

“Justin is, well he’s different,” Molly volunteered. “He’s been funny since he came home to run the company. Kind of distant and not very happy.”

“Maybe this is your father’s dream and not Justin’s,” Brian said softly. 

“Yeah I know,” Molly swallowed some of her drink. “But Justin could have said no, I mean he is an adult.”

“But kids, boys especially, always are looking for their father’s approval.” Brian drained his glass and sat it on the side table.

“Speaking from experience?” Molly asked.

Brian didn’t answer his friend. He didn’t need to.

Justin couldn’t get away from Brian and Molly fast enough. He took the stairs two at a time. The sight of the two of them in bed would stay with him for a long time. He looked at the stairs to his room and rather than go up, he went out the main door. Charlie came over to him and butted his head against Justin’s leg. “Solidarity eh?” Justin said and reached down to scratch behind Charlie’s ears. 

“Life sucks Charlie. That ‘s my take on it,” he sighed and sat down on the top step leading down to the yard. Charlie sat down beside him and rested his head on Justin’s shoulder. “Well, let’s see if Mr. Kinney can keep up with the gay boy tomorrow. I hope he has a bitch of a hangover.” 

Charlie whined his agreement. 

“But damn I’m lonely,” Justin told the dog. “I really, really am damn lonely.” 

Upstairs Molly had kissed Brian goodnight and retired to her own room. Brian lay on the king sized bed in the dark and tried to sleep. He kept thinking of the stricken blue eyes that had looked into his and wondered if he’d read the blond wrong. He remembered Justin’s smell as he held the blond close earlier in the evening. He remembered the laughing fun they’d had conversing with the horses and the camaraderie they shared walking hand in hand to the house. Brian was lonely, for the first time in his busy life he realized that he wanted to share that life with someone else. 

Tbc