Hearts-3

Brian kept his hand on the jacket wrapped dog that lay on the passenger seat beside him. He did this more to reassure himself that the dog continued to breathe, than to reassure the dog. While he drove, he managed to dial Cynthia on his cell. “Cynthia, can you call ahead to the emergency Vet on Main Street. I have a dog I’m bringing in.”

“Sure Brian.” Cynthia said, surprised but not unduly so. “Do you want me to call you back?” 

“No, I’ll let you know later how things go. Oh and tell the Vet I don’t think he was hit by a car or anything, he just looks sick.” 
				
“Will do.” Cynthia disconnected in order to do as Brian requested. She was curious as to where this dog had appeared from, but knew Brian was in no mood to answer questions, she could tell that from his voice.

Brian pulled up in front of the Veterinary Clinic, thankful for the well-lit parking lot. He carefully picked up the small dog that looked at him with grateful eyes. 

“Hey there Brian.” Jim Otsby opened the door to his clinic. “I was surprised to hear from Cynthia, I didn’t know you had a dog.”

“I don’t Jim.” Brian handed him the dog. “This one found me.” Jim was Cynthia’s on again off again boyfriend. Brian had known him as long as he’d known Cynthia. 

“Wow, this poor bugger has had a hell of a life.” Jim said as he lay him on a clean table. “The first thing he needs is to get some nourishment into him. He’s been starved almost to the point of death. He pulled a bottle of clear liquid from the cupboard along with a syringe. I’m going to put some of this in a cup, you feed it to him while I’m cleaning him up and checking him out.”

“Feed him?” 

“Just take a couple of centimeters of liquid into the syringe and squirt it into his mouth, make sure he swallows before you give him anymore. You don’t want him to choke and you don’t want it getting into his lungs.” 

“Swell.” Brian held the dog’s head as he fed him some of the thick liquid. “What is this shit?” 

“It’s like Pedialyte that you give children. It’s full of nutrients and electrolytes that he needs.” Jim was sponging off the worst of the encrusted grim and dirt. “A bath wouldn’t hurt, but he’s too weak for that right now. It looks like he might need to have his fur shaved here and here, it’s pretty matted.” Jim pointed around the dog’s neck and under his front legs. “Hold him still, I’m going to give him a shot of something that should help him. But frankly Brian, you should consider putting him down. He’s in bad shape, he’s young, maybe five months. I’m not sure he’ll last the night.”

But Brian had been feeding Ralph the nourishing liquid. When he thought the dog had enough for now, he patted him gently on the top of his head, rewarded by the barest flicker of a tail wag. 

Brian looked at Jim. “Where’s the rest of your staff?” 

“I’m it, I’m on call. We don’t have the money to actually stay here all night.” He shook his head. “It’s too bad, this guy needs to be watched if you aren’t going to have him put down.”

“I’ll watch him.” Brian said, continuing to stroke the dog’s head. 

“Brian, I’m sorry, but you can’t stay here all night.”

“Why not?” Brian asked. “It’s not like I’m going to steal anything.”

Jim looked around; he couldn’t actually come up with any reason other than Brian was hardly the man to want to stay with a sick dog. “It’s not very comfortable and the night is damn long.” 

“I’ll take him home. Just give me the stuff he needs and tell me what to do.”

Jim weighed his options. “Okay, I’ll get you what you need. And I’ll come by on my way to the clinic first thing tomorrow morning.” He paused. “You know he won’t be miraculously cured by seven a.m.. You’re going to have to come up with someone to watch him while you’re at work tomorrow.”

“I’ll worry about that tomorrow.” Brian said. “Just put together what I’m going to need.” He reached for his wallet.

“Hey, don’t worry about paying me. This one is on me.” Jim grinned. “It isn’t everyday I get a dog wrapped in Armani.”

In less than an hour, Brian was home with Ralph and an assortment of things in a bag that Jim insisted he have. “Hey Ralph, welcome to your new home.” Brian said as he carried the dog inside the loft. 

Ralph was showing some improvement. He was able to sit up now and definitely wag his tail. His coloring was black, brown and dirty white. “Ralph, I’m sorry, but since you’re sitting up, you need to have a bath. I’ll give you some more of that shit I was feeding you when we’re done. Lucky thing you’re small. You’ll fit in the kitchen sink.”

Brian checked the bag he’d been given by Jim, but there wasn’t any dog soap. Sighing dramatically, he went to find his thirty dollar a bottle shampoo and as an after thought, he took the cream rinse with him. 

An hour later, Brian sat on his sofa, the freshly washed and dried dog on a cashmere blanket on his lap. He flipped through the channels on the television while periodically giving the dog more of the drink. He watched a couple of movies, his fingers constantly stroking the fluffy fur of his companion. About four a.m., Ralph jumped down and went to the door. He wanted out. 

“No shit.” Brian laughed. “I could use a piss myself.” He found the collar Jim had given him and the leash. “Let’s go Ralph.” 

Ralph barely made it to the curb before he peed. Brian laughed again as the little dog turned to head back to the building. “Let’s get some sleep. If you and I are still breathing in a few hours, I’ll give you some real food.” 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

“Cynthia, I was looking for Brian, but I can’t find him.” Justin, a folder in his hands, stood in front of Cynthia’s desk.

“I don’t think he’s coming in today. He was up most of the night with a sick friend.”

“He was? He left my place early. He must have gone out tricking.” Justin was pissed, but he tried not to show his feelings.

“I don’t think so Justin. I know he called me shortly after nine about his friend.” Cynthia smiled up at Justin. “You need to give Brian a chance. He isn’t the same man he was a few years ago. He’s changed, he really has.” 

Justin nodded to let her know he’d heard what she had to say. “Maybe I should go over there.” He muttered. “I really need these things signed.”

“Justin, a word as a friend, Brian is willing to learn. He needs someone to love him and he needs someone to love. He’s been alone a long time, longer than you realize.”

“I met him years ago.” Justin looked thoughtful. “He does seem… I don’t know, more mellow… softer.”

“He is, he’s had a lot of things happen in his life. Things that might have broken any other man. I know that his friends and so called family take advantage of him all the darn time.”

“What kind of things?” Justin asked.

“You’ll have to ask Brian.” Cynthia smiled. “I’m sure I’ve said too much already. He’s a good man, that’s a fact I’d back up a hundred and ten percent.”

At the loft, Brian and Ralph had spent the rest of the night and most of the morning either resting, eating, or making short foray’s out behind the building. Neither one was inclined to do much more than that. 

Ralph had stoically accepted his warm and nicely smelling shampoo and blow dry with barely a whine. Brian was sure that the pup liked being clean better than dirty but they were both relieved when it was over. 

Jim had given Brian strict instructions about feeding and the consequences of overfeeding Ralph. Brian reluctantly followed the directions he’d been given despite Ralph’s quiet entreaties for more to eat. “I know it’s tough, but you have to go on a regular diet gradually.” Brian explained for maybe the tenth time. He was sitting at his desk trying to get some work done, but Ralph wanted some attention. Finally, Brian took a pillow from his bed and placed it on one side of his desk, depositing Ralph up there. The dog was content to watch Brian work between naps.

Brian found himself holding conversations with Ralph. Not that the dog answered back, but it was nice to have someone to talk to. “I’m not sure about your sleeping arrangements at the office. Somehow I don’t think a pillow on my Italian credenza with a dog on it, would go with my décor or image for that matter.”

Ralph looked at him and then shut his eyes, he was still getting his strength back from his previous ordeal. When the intercom buzzed, Ralph jumped off the desk, landed on the floor and raced to the door, his teeth barred, a low growl in his throat.

“If it’s Mikey, bite him.” Brian laughed. “Hey.” He said into the intercom.

“It’s Justin, I need some papers signed.” 

“You know the way up.” Brian sighed, releasing the downstairs door. “It’s okay Ralph, calm down. Justin is okay.” He bent over and picked up the small dog. “Hey, you’re heavier already.” He put his face in the dog’s fur without thinking, pulling back suddenly as if afraid his vulnerability would be seen. 

Justin pulled open Brian’s loft door. “Hey, you should keep it locked.” He said, stepping inside.

“You should knock.” Brian answered back with a grin. “Meet Ralph.” He showed the dog to Justin. “He’s Gus’ new dog.” 

“No shit, you got a dog.” Justin grinned, flashing his old smile in Brian’s direction. “He’s adorable, but kind of skinny.”

“He’s had a bad start in life. The Vet says that since he survived the night, he’ll no doubt continue to survive. We had a rocky night.” Brian put Ralph on the floor. “What do I need to sign?” 

Justin handed him the folder. “Page four of each document.” He instructed. “I think Ralph wants to go for a walk.” The dog was standing nose to the door, his backside wiggling.

“Note to self, get a yard.” Brian muttered as he snapped the leash to Ralph’s collar. “We won’t be long.”

“I’ll go with you.” Justin said, rather enjoying this. 

Brian and Justin, along with Ralph, headed out of the loft. “We take the elevator. Ralph doesn’t like the stairs.” Brian said. 

“That’s because he’s too young to really know about stairs. He looks like he’s not even a year old.”

“Jim, the Vet, said he’s around five months. If he’s in good shape by the weekend, I’m supposed to get him his first shots.”

“Living with you, I’m sure he’ll be fine.” Justin breathed deeply as they stepped outside. He was surprised when Brian tucked Justin’s arm under his. Together they began the stroll around the building. 

“He’s still weak, he was almost dead when I found him. But damn, he recovers fast with a little food in him.” Brian commented. “Gus is going to be pleased when he sees him on Friday.”

“When you bring Gus to the house on Saturday, don’t forget to bring Ralph. The back yard is fenced; Gus can get to know Ralph outside. We’ll buy some dog toys.” 

“I’d like that Justin.” Brian smiled. “Until Ralph gets some self confidence, I’m afraid he’s going to be with me a lot more than I had planned.” 

“I take it, that means he’s coming to Kinnetik.” Justin tried to look serious. “I’m not so sure..”

“Don’t even start Mr. Taylor. You were the one encouraging this dog thing. Ralph is now part of Kinnetik, think of him as a mascot.” Brian bent down and stroked the small dog’s head. “Good boy.” He whispered.

Justin melted at the sight of Brian with the dog. “I was only teasing.” He defended. “I don’t mind Ralph coming to work with you. It’s not like we don’t have plenty of space for him.”  They had moved into their new quarters the month before. There was more than enough room for expansion, or for a doggy day care should it be required.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Brian arrived at Gus’ school a few minutes early. He parked his car and then got out taking Ralph with him. The dog had gained weight and regained the sparkle in his eyes, a sparkle that lit up even more whenever he glimpsed his human. “Now this is the deal Ralph. You and I, we’re a team five days a week. But on the weekends, you have to be Gus’ best friend. You’ll like him, he’s more your size.” 

“DADDY.” Gus ran toward his father, stopping suddenly when he noticed the dog. “Daddy is that my dog?” Gus began to walk slowly toward Brian and Ralph. “It is, it is, it’s Ralph. Just like I knew he’d be.” Gus grinned and fell to his knees in front of the tail wagging small dog. 

Brian watched while his son and the dog bonded. He wished he’d brought a camera.

“Hey,” Justin walked up to them, camera in hand. “I thought I’d take a couple of pictures of the first meeting.”

“How did you know we’d be here?” Brian asked, pleased to see Justin. 

“I have spies everywhere.” Justin grinned and snapped a couple more pictures. “If the two of you want to come to the house tonight instead of Saturday, I have lots of spare bedrooms. It might be a better spot for Gus and Ralph to get to know one another, what with frequent potty breaks and a fenced yard.” 

“Are you sure?” Brian asked. “Gus can be a handful and add Ralph to the mix.”

“No problem. You know the way, pack a bag and come on out.” He reached into his pocket and handed Brian a key. “I’m not sure when I’ll be there. I’m picking some groceries up. Daphne’s gone to Chicago for the weekend.”

Brian looked at the key in his hand, closing his fingers around it. “I’ll bring dessert.” He offered. “I know a good supplier of lemon squares.” 

Justin laughed. “I love lemon squares, get lots.” He bent and gave Gus a kiss and to pat Ralph on the top of his head. “Later boys.” 

“Bye Justin.” Gus said, laying on the grass on his back., Ralph standing on his chest.

Justin snapped a picture, before running back to where his car was parked.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 

 
Brian took his time packing an overnight bag for himself and Gus. He gathered up the few things that Ralph would need and contemplated whether he should stop at the pet store and get the dog an overnight bag. The next stop was the diner. It was only four thirty, too early for dinner for Gus, but the boy was hungry. 

“Hey there Gus.” Debbie greeted him with a hug and a kiss. “You’re early for dinner.”

“We’re getting lemon squares.” Gus said. “Ralph is waiting in the car so we need to hurry.” 

“Ralph? Why don’t you bring your little friend inside?” Debbie glared at Brian as if he was responsible for the absent friend.

“Gramma Debbie, Ralph is a dog. See the sign. “No Dogs Allowed.” He pointed to the door. He looked at his father. “Maybe we could get a sandwich or something to go, I’m really hungry.” 

“You’ve got a dog?” Debbie went to the door to see if she could see inside Brian’s car, but the tinted windows blocked her view.

“Yep, he’s the best dog in the whole world. My daddy got him for me.” Gus climbed up on one of the front counter stools beside his father who was sitting down leafing through the paper, ignoring all of them.

“Since when does Brian Kinney get himself a dog?” Debbie asked. 

“Since when did the help here stop serving the customers? I want a dozen lemon squares and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to go.” Brian snerked, looking down at the paper.

“You’ve got a dog and now you want a dozen lemon squares?” Debbie looked from Brian to Gus.

“It’s dessert.” Gus announced. “Lots and lots of dessert.” 

“It’s far too many lemon squares.” Debbie announced. “I’m not sure I have enough, there won’t be any left for other customers.”

“Deb, not to be pissy here, but I’m a customer. I can clearly see there are more than a dozen of the damn sweet pieces of shit. I am buying 12 of them. Please put them in a separate bag from the sandwich.” Brian glared. 

“Don’t get your panties in a twist.” Debbie grumbled as she put in the request for Gus’ sandwich before bagging the squares. 

Gus kept peering out the door, obviously worried about Ralph. Finally Brian stood up. “Let’s go Sonny Boy.” 

“Wait, your sandwich is ready.” Debbie called out.

“Get a move on, we’ve got a nervous dog waiting for us. He has abandonment issues.” Brian impatiently fished out a couple of twenties from his wallet, throwing them on the counter. He grabbed the bag of squares in one hand and Gus in the other. Debbie ran behind with the sandwich.

Ralph looked dejected when they first opened the door, but seeing Gus and Brian, he began to wiggle all over, his tail going so fast it knocked him down. Gus was laughing out loud as he climbed into his booster seat, slightly hampered by a happy dog. “We got food.” He whispered to Ralph, who made noises like he was trying to talk to Gus, causing the boy to be even more giggly.

Debbie stood watching, she wiped a tear from the corner of her eye as she handed Brian the sandwich. “You did good Brian.” She sighed. “I’ve never seen either of you happier. Who would have thought one little colored mutt could do that.” 

Brian kissed her cheek. “I want Gus to have everything he needs to grow up without walls around his heart.” He said softly. “It’s the least I can do for my son.” 

Handing Gus the sandwich bag he cautioned. “Don’t feed Ralph, just yourself. And don’t get peanut butter and jam on my leather seats.” 

“I’ll be good daddy.” Gus chimed up from the back seat, already feeding a bite of the sandwich to the eager dog.

“Gus, I’m serious, the sandwich is for you. Ralph has his own food.”

“But he’s hungry.”

“Dogs are like little boys, they’re always hungry.” Brian grinned, remembering how hungry he used to be as a child. “It won’t be long till we’re at Justin’s. You can give Ralph a dog food snack and a bowl of water.” 

Brian kept an eye on both his back seat passengers as he drove toward Justin’s house. Following the blond the last time hadn’t given him the chance to fully appreciate what a wonderful spot he’d found for a home. He pulled into the driveway, taking care to not block the garage doors. He wasn’t sure if Justin had already arrived. Unloading Gus and Ralph, as well as their bags, required Brian’s full concentration. It was only when he’d let himself inside that he relaxed. 

“Take Ralph outside in the back yard. He might have to pee.” Brian instructed Gus, showing him the way to the yard. He checked that the pool was enclosed by a fence before shutting the door after Gus and Ralph who raced through in a game of tag. 
Not sure where he and Gus were going to sleep, Brian placed the bags at the bottom of the stairs. It was like an oasis in the city, this house of Justin’s. He could actually feel his body and mind relaxing the longer he was inside. 

Justin’s touch was everywhere, from the furniture to the colors on the walls. Nothing was plain and pared down like the loft. Instead it was infused with vibrant colors and fabrics. The paintings on the walls, each one reflecting a side of Justin that Brian might not otherwise have seen.

On an impulse he pulled out his cell phone and called a florist to order something for the house. He vaguely remembered Justin had allergies, so rather than ordering flowers, he ordered a live plant. Not knowing what to order, he let the florist decide. On the card he had them write. “Thanks for the memories. It’s time to make more. B.

Satisfied, he checked on Gus and Ralph, who had found a tennis ball and were playing with it. He was glad he’d had Gus change when they were at the loft. From the tumbles in the grass, he was no doubt dirtier than usual. 

It seemed a combination of strange, walking around Justin’s house without him, but familiar at the same time. Brian found the kitchen and put the lemon squares in the fridge. It was stocked in an orderly fashion unlike Brian’s own that sat virtually empty most of the time. He reached in and pulled out a bottle of his favorite imported beer. Interesting, he thought, that Justin’s tastes had matured as far as beer was concerned. Of course it was five years. 

He sat at the kitchen table and watched Gus and Ralph play, letting his mind wander over the past few months since Justin had come back into his life. Any idea he’d had at the back of his mind that Justin would fall into his arms and under his charms, had disappeared almost immediately. It wasn’t only the encounter in Babylon, a place Brian hadn’t seen Justin go back to since that one time. It was his general friendly, but business like demeanor at Kinnetik.

“Hey.” Justin said standing in the kitchen doorway. “A penny for your thoughts.”

“I was just thinking that the last few months turned out rather differently than I’d thought they would.” Brian smirked, not explaining further.

“Oh, I thought they’ve gone rather well.” Justin placed a couple of shopping bags on the counter. He walked over to the window to stand and watch. “Gus is very happy.” His words were quiet.

“I hope so.” Brian sighed. “It’s what I want more than anything, to have my son happy.” He looked at Justin and said. “And truthfully, I rather enjoy Ralph. He keeps me company when I’m alone at night. He’s someone to talk to.” 

“He doesn’t answer back does he?” Justin laughed.

“Occasionally.” Brian grinned. “You just have to learn how to listen to him.” He looked into Justin’s eyes. “I have to learn how to listen to you. It’s been one of my short falls, not listening. Assuming I know what everyone knows or thinks.” He turned away. “Like the night we met. I assumed I didn’t want more than that one night.” He huffed. “I didn’t listen to myself.” He turned back to Justin. “I wanted you to know, I did listen to you that night. I remember it all, though at the time I pretended I didn’t. You were my one main regret.” His hand went out and touched Justin’s chin. “I should never have blown you off like I did the next morning. I often wonder how our lives would have gone, if we’d continued to see each other.” 

“You can’t spend your life on <i> what ifs </i>” Justin said quietly. “My dad had me shipped off to boarding school the next day. I never came back to the Pitts. I followed the party line, was a good little boy. Graduating from school and heading off to Dartmouth. I barely was able to keep up with Daphne. I sure wasn’t able to touch on your life, not that I didn’t want to. Like I said before, you were my main fantasy during those cold winter nights on the east coast.” 

“While I stayed in Pittsburgh.” Brian smiled before tenderly brushing Justin’s lips with his own. 

“Daddy, daddy, Justin, come out and play with us.” Gus called from the back yard. 

Justin reached up and kissed Brian back quickly before going to the door and looking out. Ralph was laying on the grass, his tongue out. Gus sat beside him. “Why don’t you two come inside. Ralph looks like he could use a drink of water.” 

“I’m thirsty too.” Gus said jumping up. “Come Ralph, me and daddy brought your dishes and food and bed and everything.” 

“His bed is really any bed he manages to get on.” Brian muttered. “But we do have a dog bed in case he remembers he’s a dog.” 

“Gus, I’ll take you up to the room you’re going to have for the weekend.” Justin smiled. “Ralph, you and Brian can come too.” 

“Gee thanks.” Brian laughed. “I’m being classed with the dog.” He lifted up two of the bags at the bottom of the stairs and Justin grabbed the other. 

“This is your room.” Justin smiled, opening the door for Gus. He’d worked hard at making it almost identical to the one at Brian’s loft. Only this one had two paintings on the wall. One of Brian holding Gus as a baby, and one of Brian and Gus laughing over hot chocolate mugs, both with steamed milk mustaches. 

“This is a cool room.” Gus laughed as he jumped on the bed, quickly followed by Ralph. “It’s just like my daddy’s house.” He looked at Justin. “How did you do that?” 

“Magic?” Justin asked as he shrugged, hands out.

Brian felt himself fill with admiration for Justin. He knew how hard the man worked and couldn’t imagine where he’d found the time to make this room perfect for Gus during the past week. He wondered if it meant Justin wanted more from their relationship than friendship. 

“Where’s daddy’s room?” Gus asked, bouncing back up off of the bed. 

“I thought maybe your daddy could share my room.” Justin said, his eyes asking Brian to say yes.

“You know me, ever the environmentalist. I’ll even share your shower to conserve water.” Brian smirked, tongue in cheek. 

“Daddy wants to have sex with you.” Gus declared. “I can tell.” 

“Really?” Justin raised his eyebrows in question. “How can you tell?” 

“He gets a funny look in his eyes when he wants sex.” Gus declared. “Momma said so.” 

“It’s that just peachy, the munchers discuss my sexual habits in front of Gus.” Brian huffed.

“No they don’t daddy, I just listen at the top of the stairs.” Gus shook his head. “How else am I supposed to learn stuff?” 

“Yeah daddy, that’s how I learned stuff.” Justin grinned at Brian. 

“Fuck, don’t call me daddy.” Brian growled. “You’re making things hard.” 

Gus didn’t notice Brian’s slip with language; he was taken by the array of games in the closet he’d opened. 

“You’re so easy.” Justin whispered.

“But not cheap.” Brian ran his fingers down the side of Justin’s face. “Justin…” he hesitated. 

“Not now…” Justin whispered. “Later.” 
“Promise?” 

Justin nodded, his voice hard to find. He wanted much more from Brian. He had so much to give and so did Brian. It would be nice if they could give it to each other. It was time to learn. No more games. No more playing. Justin was confident that the Brian Kinney he’d fallen for almost five years before was the answer to all that he wanted and needed. 

Brian enjoyed the evening with Justin and Gus. He didn’t talk much, just observed. Justin was what he wanted, maybe even needed. The boy had challenged him that night five years ago. He still challenged him. He challenged him at Kinnetik to be better each day. And he challenged him at home. Justin demanded the best in both his work and his personal life. For some reason he thought Brian was the best. It was the least Brian could do, to prove him right. 

Later that night, after Gus was in bed, his arm around a sleeping dog. Brian and Justin walked arm in arm to Justin’s bedroom. There were pictures to paint and boys and dogs to love. It was time to continue what had been started one night almost five years before. Both men were looking forward to years of hearts and flowers, love and kisses. One of them with awe that he wanted this, and one of them with pleasure at the knowledge it would happen.

February 28, 2007