The Night Before Christmas
LJ Christmas Challenge 
Author: Elsa Rose – who is LJ challenged

“I don’t understand why every damn year it’s the same thing.” Melanie griped and Lindsay thought to herself that she had to agree, Melanie bitched about the same thing every year right on schedule.

“Hon, you know Brian, he doesn’t feel he needs to explain his reasons for doing something to anyone other than Justin.”

“But for fuck sake, it’s Christmas Eve. Debbie has been having everyone over for as long as we’ve been together and then some. I think for one damn time Brian could stop fucking around and join the family. Gus is sixteen for fuck sake. He’s never seen his father on Christmas Eve. His own son, yet he doesn’t mind fucking every other person’s son, holiday or not.”

“I’m sure he has a good reason.” Lindsay leaned over and kissed her wife’s cheek. “Now be good. Gus will be here any moment and you know we promised him not to fight about his father.” Gus had been over at Brian and Justin’s but was expected home any moment. It was December 23rd and even though it was a vacation day for the boy, Brian would be sure and have him back before the 24th.

Gus was enjoying the ride home from his fathers’ place just outside Pittsburgh. Every surface was covered with white fluffy freshly fallen snow dressing the usually dirty city surfaces with a sparkling splendor. Justin and Brian were in the front seat of the car entertaining Gus with their sing along renditions of various songs on the radio, making all three of them crack up every now and then. When there was a break in the revelry, Gus asked. “Dad what did you do on Christmas Eve when you were a kid?” 

Justin held his breath, wondering what Brian would say. He knew Brian’s childhood had been hell.

“I mostly avoided my old man by going to Church with my mother. That lasted until I was sixteen, after that I spent the night with your grandma Deb and Uncle Mikey, though she still made us go to Church when she could find us.” He laughed, his laugh only slightly bitter.

“What did you do Pops?” He asked Justin. 

“When I was a kid I mostly hid in my room while my parents had these elaborate parties. Kids weren’t invited. When I was sixteen I actually got to attend. When I was seventeen I spent one of the best Christmas Eves in my life. Brian took me to this little lake, not far from here and we skated on the frozen lake.” 

“Until his nose looked like Rudoph’s.” Brian laughed.

“And then we went back to the loft, Brian had all the phones turned off and we kept the lights off in case anyone was looking up to see if Brian was home. He turned on the television to that channel that just has a fire showing – kind of like a TV fireplace and we, well we communed on an intimate level.”

“We fucked like happy little reindeer.” Brian snickered.

“TMI, Brian.” Justin elbowed his partner in the ribs.

Gus snickered. “So dad did you go to grandma Deb’s every year until Pop’s seventeenth Christmas Eve?” 

“No, I stopped going when I was nineteen, after that I preferred to spend the night either working or at the baths.” He shrugged. “It was just simpler that way. Your Grandma Deb is a good woman, but try as she might, I never felt quite like I was part of the family.” 

“How come you and Pops went to the lake?” Gus leaned forward.

“There was something about this brat,” he ruffled Justin’s hair. “That made me feel complete, though fuck knows I didn’t know that at the time. It just seemed like I should spend the night with him.”

Justin blushed, it was sixteen years, but he never forgot that night. It had been the beginning of a tradition that only got better. It was a night unlike any other night in their lives each year. A night when he and Brian were alone with each other, making their own traditions.

While Gus and his father chatted, Justin thought back to the next Christmas. It had been shaping up to be dismal. He was with Ethan who he hated, though he was trying his best not to. And all he could think about was Brian and the year before when everything had seemed so perfect. Ethan being Jewish didn’t give two shits about Christmas Eve, so when Justin told him had to work, Ethan didn’t care. 

He’d never forget the feeling of utter rightness when the Vette pulled up beside him and the door opened in a silent invitation to get in. Or the feeling of wonder when Brian saying nothing, putting his fingers on Justin’s lips to silence him, drove to their spot by the small lake. In silence they put on the skates Brian had with him. In silence they held hands skating over the smooth glass of frozen water until both of them were too cold to think. He never forgot the wonder of skating to the edge of the lake and Brian, once again his finger silencing him, stepped over to a pile of carefully arranged logs, bending to light them. It was then Justin saw the blanket arranged over a large rock, a picnic basket filled with a thermos of hot chocolate flavored with rum and a bag of marshmallows to toast in the coals of the fire.

No words had been spoken between them, but a thousand words had been exchanged in silence as they sat side by side on the rock, their fronts toasty warm, drinking chocolate and eating marshmallows. Justin remembered that Christmas Eve like a dream he could take out when he had doubts or fears. The memory of that night had taken him through a number of perils on the road of life with Brian Kinney.

“A penny for your thoughts Sunshine.” Brian joked wondering why his partner was so silent.

Justin only smiled at him and then smiled at Gus. “Any other questions?” he asked.

“What was the best Christmas present you ever got, Dad you go first.”  Gus grinned, it was a rare occasion when his father told him anything much about his younger years.

“That’s an easy one.” Brian grinned, a grin filled with humble joy. “This one is between us three, agreed?” he said to Gus.

“Agreed.” Gus grinned back at his father.

“When Justin was nineteen, he and I joined together to fight evil in the city of Gayopolis, or Pittsburgh as it’s occasionally known.” He laughed out loud. “This ended in the good guys....” he indicated himself and Justin, “winning. But with a slight glitch. I pretty much used up all my financial resources including the job I had at the time.” He looked at Justin with love in his eyes. 

“Christmas Eve arrived and I was feeling kind of depressed. I’d even run out of good weed and I couldn’t afford more.” He snickered when Gus punched him in the shoulder in a reprimand. “Your Pops was supposed to be working, instead he calls me to come downstairs. He had borrowed a car from a friend and this time it was him who drove us out to the lake. When we were skating, it was like all of my problems, our problems, were gone with each circle of the lake. And then when we were sitting on the rock, this time with no fire. Pops doesn’t think ahead. He leaned his head on my shoulder and told me that he loved me for me. I kind of already knew that, but somehow, that night. I was positive and I felt like I’d been given the best present I could ever have now or then. I was given Justin’s unconditional love.” 

There was silence in the car for a few minutes. “That was really sappy Dad.” Gus finally said. “Don’t worry, I’ll never tell anyone, they’d never believe me.” 
They had almost arrived at Gus’ home. Brian and Gus were discussing the plans for Christmas day. Justin let his mind wander back to their forth Christmas together. He had been in LA and not scheduled to come back until the day after Christmas day. It was the only flight he could get having procrastinated until the last minute. 

Christmas Eve day, he was about to head for work, when a messenger rang his doorbell and handed him a round trip ticket to the Pitts, leaving in four hours. The rest of the day was a blur ending with him and Brian back at the lake. He damn near froze his ass off, he was so used to California weather and not the minus zero temperatures of a Pennsylvania winter. This time though, Brian had a lean to tent ready, along with the fire and a double sleeping bag filled with down and rated for Antarctica weather. More fucking and less skating happened on that Christmas Eve. It was then Justin realized Brian had made his own Christmas tradition and that he, Justin Taylor was very much a part of it.

“We’ve arrived and in one piece.” Brian announced pulling into the driveway. 

“Are you coming in?” Gus asked grabbing his backpack.

“I don’t think so.” Brian grimaced. “It’ll just be the same old, same old. But we’ll pick you up bright and early Christmas morning.”

“Not too early.” Gus grumbled.

“Hell yes, JR likes to get to her dads by eight.” Brian laughed. “Gotta love old Mikey after a night at his ma’s place getting up that early. It’s the one thing that keeps me going each year.” 

“Asshole.” Justin whispered laughing when Gus grinned at him.

“What’ll I tell the moms’?” he asked.

“Tell them that something came up.” Justin and Brian said in unison. They laughed together while Gus ran into the house.

Justin pulled Brian’s head closer for a kiss that left them both breathless. He settled back for the drive home. They lived closer than the West Virginia place, but it was still a fifteen-minute drive in this weather. 

“Remember the year you went to New York?” Brian asked. “That was a hell of a Christmas Eve.” 

“It was.” Justin snuggled as close as he could get. 

“You barely made it before it was over. Fucking airlines.”

“But we still got a skate in before midnight. And fucking in that snow bank was damn hot.”

Brian laughed. “Says you. I was the one on my face in the snow, my dick drilling for oil. I thought my fake ball was never going to thaw out. I had cold balls for a week.”

Justin giggled remembering all the bitching that had taken place that week he was home. 

“Next Christmas Eve was better.” He offered. He’d managed to make enough money from the sale of web designs, not his paintings, to purchase five acres on <i>their</i> lake. It was his Christmas Eve present for Brian. “And the tent you managed to put up all by yourself was actually warm.”

“That’s because we produce great heat together.” Brian snickered. The rest of the drive to their home was spent reminiscing about the last ten Christmas Eve’s they’d spent together.

“I see the gate.” Justin said, leaning forward. The snow fall had increased and for the last few minutes they had been the only car on the road. 

Brian pushed the button that released the gate, his heavy car rolling on through with ease. The home they’d built seven years before stood on a five acre parcel of land, fronting on a small but perfect lake. It wasn’t a large home, only three bedrooms, but it had everything they needed, including two pairs of skates that hung by the door leading to the lake path. 

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“Well, is he coming to Deb’s tomorrow night?” Melanie asked, her voice bitter.

“Nope, said to tell you something came up.” Gus grinned as he headed up the stairs.

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Gus smiled to himself as he looked out the window of his bedroom. It was Christmas Eve and even though his dads never told him, he knew where they were. He also knew that they deserved to spend this private time together. Both his fathers gave every minute of their time to making other people happy 364 days of the year. He could make sure they had this one-day to themselves.

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On a small lake in the middle of a rather large forest, two men skated arm in arm, only the shhhhhhing of the blades of their skates could be heard. The house at the top of the hill could barely be seen through the trees, but on the shore of the lake a fire burned brightly in front of a very small log cabin that held only a bed, a fireplace, and oh yes, a bowl of condoms.

October 29th, 2007