Lois, thank you for the beta...you are the greatest!
<hr> 

Chapter 4 – Session 2
Wednesday Afternoon…(Day 17)

Lindsay and Melanie once again took their seats in Elizabeth’s office.  They made themselves comfortable to prepare themselves for whatever was to happen next.

“Well, it’s good to see both of you back here again,” Elizabeth began.  “Yesterday was a rather long day.  Quite a few issues surfaced.  We only had time to touch upon them yesterday.  Now that I understand the situation, let’s see what we can do.” 

Elizabeth stood up and walked over to both Lindsay and Melanie before she continued, “But before we get started, I want to let you both know that I commend you both on your decision to work on your relationship.  And, I appreciate you both being so opened and willing to discuss things.  I’m really proud of you both.”

Then, Elizabeth quietly returned to her seat.  

Melanie and Lindsay took a moment to take in all that Elizabeth had said.  They were surprised by her affirmation.  When the full impact settled in, Lindsay was the first to speak.

“I noticed that you didn’t say too much yesterday.  I’m trying to figure out if that is a good sign or a bad one,” Lindsay responded.

“Usually, when you come to visit, one of you is resisting.  So I have to work very hard to get you two to talk to each other.  My role appears to be different this time.  You two are communicating so well that I’m not sure you really need me.  So I’m going to let you talk to each other, and I will listen.  From time to time, I’ll stop you so we can focus on something that was said…something that we need to spend some time on.”

“That seems reasonable,” Melanie agreed.

“Also, since we are only meeting monthly, I want you to call me once a week.  We’ll have a brief phone call, and you both can tell me how things are going.  If any problems come up, I need your promise that you will call me, as well.  I’m only willing to do these monthly meetings if you two continue to talk to each other and to me.  Do we understand each other?” Elizabeth insisted.

Both Lindsay and Melanie nodded their agreement.

“Now, let’s get started.  Tell me what happened yesterday after our session.”

“We drove around Pittsburgh and reacquainted ourselves with the city.   Then, we spent some quiet time together.  We have tried not to talk about the things that came up during the session.  But we have tried to simply be kinder and more loving toward each other.”

“That’s a good sign.”

“We did hear one disturbing piece of news.  Brian and Justin are actually moving into their house…mansion really,” Lindsay began.  

“Tell me why you think that is disturbing, Lindsay,” Elizabeth asked.

“Brian has always shared the details of his life with me.  He used to come to me for advice all the time…just like I could always go to him.  But when it comes to Justin and the house, Brian is suddenly very closed-lipped.  Once upon a time, Brian would have asked my advice before he even bought the house to begin with.  This time he just plunged ahead without talking to anyone,” Lindsay explained.

“I see. If Brian had come to you about the house, what would you have said?” Elizabeth asked.

“I would have told him it was a mistake,” Lindsay said calmly.

“That is probably why he made the decision all by himself.  Brian decided he was buying the house as an engagement gift for Justin.  He didn’t want any discussion.  He had made his decision,” Melanie added.

“I do see that.  It’s just that I feel him slipping away,” Lindsay explained.

“Don’t you talk to him?” Elizabeth asked.

“Yes, all the time.  But he doesn’t confide in me the way he used to,” Lindsay continued.

“Lindsay, don’t you think that Brian is entitled to his own life…a life with Justin that he really wants?  He can’t be Peter Pan to your Wendy forever,” Melanie reminded her.

“I know.  I just don’t want things to change,” Lindsay admitted.

“But you went on and built a life with me.  Isn’t Brian entitled to the same thing?” Melanie asked.

“What exactly are your afraid of Lindsay?” Elizabeth questioned.

“I’m worried about Gus.  If Brian has moved on, what about Gus?” Lindsay tried to explain.

“Lindsay, Gus is spending the week with Brian and Justin?  Didn’t you see that Gus is having the time of his life?  Didn’t you see Gus this morning?  He was content to cling to Brian’s leg, rather than run immediately into our arms?” Melanie pointedly asked.

“Yes, but…” Lindsay tried to protest.

“Don’t those things maybe suggest to you that Brian and Gus are just fine?” Elizabeth asked sympathetically.

“ I guess you’re right,” Lindsay conceded.

“Then what is it?” Elizabeth had to ask.

“Gus is becoming his own person.  He and Brian can forge their relationship now with just the two of them.  They don’t really need me to make it work,” Lindsay quietly admitted.

“That’s what happens when kids grow up.  They become independent creatures.  But no matter how independent they become, they will always love you and will always want you to be a part of their life.  Your role will just change in their lives,” Elizabeth pointed out.

“I see that,” Lindsay finally admitted with a sigh. “I know I’m just being ridiculous. I didn’t expect to have to deal with this until Gus was 18.  I was just caught off guard to lose my baby at age 6.”

“Plus, we still have Jenny Rebecca to raise to this point of independence.  Let’s not forget that,” Melanie pointed out.

“I haven’t forgotten about her,” Lindsay confessed.

“But you just don’t feel the same way about Jenny that you do about Gus, do you?  Is that what you’re telling me?” Melanie began to press.

“Can you tell me that you feel the same way about Gus that you feel about Jenny Rebecca?  Honestly?” Lindsay counter argued.

“I’ve had to fight so hard for Jenny since the day she was born, I clearly think of her as my daughter that we are raising together, and I do think about Gus as our son.  And Lindsay, I love them both.” Melanie professed.

“I know that you love them both…so do I,” Lindsay added.

“It’s just that nothing has gone the way we planned,” Melanie finally said with a sigh.

“I know.  I think it’s time we make some new plans because the old plans are soooo outdated,” Lindsay said with a laugh.

“You know, I think you’re probably right.  We definitely need to some create new plans.  That will give us something to do when we get back to Toronto,” Melanie agreed.
 
Lindsay and Melanie leaned in and gently kissed each other.

“Lindsay, what else bothers you about Brian and Justin moving into their house,” Elizabeth asked, once again rejoining the discussion.

“Brian and Justin have so much.  We seem to have given up so much in the move to Toronto,” Lindsay explained.

“Let the fantasy go Lindsay,” Melanie interjected.

“What fantasy?” Lindsay asked with surprise.

Melanie went on to explain, “If you and I are together, you have to look at what I have to offer.  You can’t compare our lives with Brian’s and Justin’s.  We will never have the material things that Justin and Brian will have.  First of all, because Justin is going to have an amazing career and become very rich from his art, and secondly, because Brian is already so successful and rich.  You can’t expect us to compete financially with the two of them.”

“I don’t expect that.  But life is hard in Toronto.  We had a better life here in Pittsburgh,” Lindsay professed.  “I want some hope that our lives will improve so we can provide for ourselves and our children,” Lindsay admitted.

“Realistically, it’s going to take me about four years before I can practice law in Canada as an attorney.    I then I have to pass the Canadian bar.  So it will take time.  I thought you understood that,” Melanie declared

“Melanie, what happens to our kids in the meantime.  They are growing.  Maybe this isn’t a problem for you because Jenny is still a baby.  But Gus is older, and he needs things.  Things he would have had if we had stayed in Pittsburgh,” Lindsay continued.

“Lindsay, when Gus was born.  I gave everything I had to you so that you could stay home full time with him.  Just what do you expect me to do now? At some point you’re going to have to stop demanding your needs be met and look at the fact that I’m in this relationship too.  My needs are different from yours, but they exist none the less,” Melanie demanded. “I need to build a new career.  I need a different life than we had here in Pittsburgh.  I need some distance from Debbie and Michael.  I need this if Jenny is to have any hope to grow up to be normal kid.  She needs Debbie and Michael in her life, but she needs them in short doses.  That’s all I’m saying.  I need a chance at a life, without being smothered to death by the two of them, just because I bore their daughter and granddaughter.  I want more for my daughter than that.  I thought you did too,” Melanie proclaimed.

“You didn’t tell me all this before we moved.  You just said you wanted safety for our kids because of the Prop 14.  Then you talked about your Jewish heritage and the holocaust.  I know that Dusty’s death brought up a lot of things for you.  That was part of the reason that I so readily agreed to move with you.  But, Melanie you never told me the real reason that wanted to move, and that wasn’t fair.  In essence, you lied to me,” Lindsay asserted.

“I didn’t lie to you.  Debbie and Michael weren’t necessarily the reasons that we moved.  But they are surely the reasons that I keep pushing so hard for us to stay in Canada,” Melanie continued to explain.

Elizabeth interrupted, “Lindsay, how do you feel about what you have heard?” 

“I feel like Melanie made decisions for the family based on what she thought was best for her daughter, and that she expected the rest of us…me and Gus, to simply adjust.  I just wonder if Melanie is sacrificing our happiness to achieve what she thinks is best for Jenny Rebecca.  And then, I don’t understand why we didn’t make this decision together.” Lindsay said, trying to control her hurt and anger.

“I guess I made this decision, the way that you make decisions when it comes to Gus and Brian,” Melanie insisted.  “Those aren’t really joint decisions.  I think we’re a lot alike.”

“Maybe we are,” Lindsay whispered. “I just think I need some time to think about this.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about this some more?” Elizabeth asked.

“No, I need time to think about this for myself for a while.  This is something I never expected,” Lindsay acknowledged. 

“I need to make sure that you are ok.  So Lindsay, tell me what you are feeling,” Elizabeth asked.

“I really am ok.  Melanie and I will be ok.  I just need to process this.  Maybe we can continue with this tomorrow,” Lindsay requested quietly.

“Lindsay, I’m sorry.  I guess I should have told you,” Melanie whispered with remorse.

“Yes, you should have,” Lindsay insisted.

“I didn’t figure it out myself at first.  It just became clearer and clearer to me every time Michael or Debbie came to visit this year.  I wasn’t sure about everything myself until I said the words here in session.  I couldn’t put the thoughts together,” Melanie said as a way of explanation.

“I don’t want to deal with this now.  We have to go back to Debbie’s.  Maybe we should go to a hotel.  I don’t want to make this any harder for you,” Lindsay said.

“Remember I said short doses were ok.  It’s fine when we visit for a week or something.  I just don’t want to have to deal with both Michael and Debbie everyday.  And you know if we lived here in Pittsburgh, that is precisely what would happen,” Melanie continued to explain.

Lindsay nodded her head in agreement.  “I understand.  Michael would walk in at will on us…the way he does now on Brian at the loft.  Maybe that is partly why Justin wanted to move into the house.”

“Maybe,” Melanie agreed.  “Who could blame them?”

Everyone lapsed into a period of silence.  Elizabeth allowed the silence to continue for a moment, allowing everyone their individual thoughts.  Then she once spoke, “We’ve made good progress.  I’ll see the two of you tomorrow.  I want you both to promise me that if things get too rough during the night that you’ll call me.  My service will know how to reach me.”

“Elizabeth there really isn’t any need to worry.  I am ok with this.  I just need a chance to think about it.  I’m not even sure Melanie and I will talk about this tonight.  Tomorrow will be time enough to talk about this again,” Lindsay declared.

“Are you ok with that Melanie?” Elizabeth asked.

“Sure, I’ll do whatever Lindsay wants on this.  I’ll be ok.  We’ll be ok.” Melanie answered, but a little voice deep down inside added the words, “I hope.”