Lois and Carolyn, thanks for the beta...you’re the greatest!
Chapter 57- Afterwards
Late Saturday Morning…(Day 48)
Michael, Debbie, Emmett, and Ben
When Michael entered the Diner, it was quiet. Debbie was not out front, so Michael quickly moved to an out of the way booth towards the back. He just sat there staring off into space...remembering another time.
Beginning of flashback.
Brian and Michael are smoking a joint at the loft, shortly after Vic’s funeral.
“You look like you could use a blowjob,” Brian said to Michael.
“I’ll settle for a joint. I suddenly feel a preponderance of death,” Michael replied, taking the joint that Brian offered.
“Wasn’t that a play by Arthur Miller?”
“It’s an unsettling observation by Michael Novotny…everywhere I turn, I’m confronted with the inevitable fact of one’s mortality.”
“Death can really hang you up the most,” Brian said quietly.
“I don’t mean just Vic, but Ben and Hunter. It’s a horrible thing to say. I don’t even like to think it, but they could die just like him, and I’d be the one left to pack up their stuff and turn out the lights.”
“Just because they’re positive, doesn’t mean they’re going to be the first to go. Hell…it could be you. You could step out in the street, and you could be hit by a Mercedes Compressor. It’s so much classier than a bus.”
“Thanks.”
“You could go down to the post office to buy a stamp, and pop, get be blown away by a disgruntled employee. In case you haven’t noticed, these days, they’re all disgruntled.”
Michael wrapped his arms around Brian for just a moment, before releasing him.
“I just…I just get scared of the thought of being alone,” Michael stated almost in tears.
“That’s how we all came in…that’s how we’re all going out,” Brian quipped back in response.
“Yeah, but until then I…I prefer at least the illusion that someone else will be there… even only temporarily.”
“Think what you want. The less you have to hold on to…the easier it is to let go,” Brian said, removing and opening two bottles of beer from the refrigerator.
“Maybe so. Still, I’m glad I have you.” Michael said, clinking his bottle of beer with Brian’s.
“Who said anything about me?” Brian tried to laugh.
“At least I know that no matter what happens, we’ll always have each other. We always have. Right?” Michael said in reply, wrapping his arms around Brian again.
End of flashback.
Debbie came back into the Diner, carrying an order for one of the tables; she saw Michael sitting there alone in the booth. She quickly delivered the order to the customer, and then went to join her son. “I’m surprised to see you. Where’s JR?” she asked with some concern, sliding into the both beside him.
“Hunter is watching her. She’ll be fine. I just needed a few minutes to myself,” Michael said sadly.
Debbie immediately started feeling Michael’s forehead and the side of his neck with her hand. “You don’t look too good. Are you all right?” she asked.
Michael allowed himself to be medically tested, without any protest. The hands were probably more accurate than any thermometer. In Debbie’s eyes, he was once again her little baby boy, who just found out that there was no Santa Claus or Tooth Fairy or Easter Bunny. Debbie wanted to wrap him in her arms and rock him and tell him everything was going to be ok. But he wasn’t her little baby boy anymore; he was a 35-year-old man.
So instead, she simply said, “Can I get you anything… maybe tea, coffee, or Diet Pepsi?”
“A Diet Pepsi would be good,” he finally agreed.
Debbie was about to get up to get the soda, when Michael extended his hand and placed it gently on her arm. It was enough to cause Debbie to stop. Michael raised his head and looked at his mother, with drooping puppy-dog eyes that were starting to fill with tears. Finally, he said, “You know don’t you? You know about Brian and Justin?”
“Yes,” Debbie said softly, placing one of her hands on top of his.
Michael allowed the tears that he’d been holding back to finally stream down his cheeks.
“Let me go get your soda, and I’ll be right back,” she said, placing a stack of napkins in front of her son before she left.
Debbie returned a few moments later with a soda for Michael and one for herself. She made herself comfortable in the booth again, this time opposite Michael.
“What am I going to do, Ma?” he asked. “How could Brian do this to me? I’m his best friend.”
“Honey, what exactly is it that you think that Brian did to you this time?” Debbie had to ask, already having difficulty following her son’s logic.
“We were supposed to be ‘two old queens in Palm Springs’. We’ve planned it since we were 14. That’s not going to happen now. I don’t even recognize Brian anymore. Brian is talking about growing old! He’s actually looking forward to growing old now…growing old together with Justin,” he started to explain…each statement dripping with his personal pain.
“And that’s going to be fucking difficult because Sunshine is never going to age,” she said with a laugh.
“Mother, will you pay attention,” he retorted with anger that his mother could find some measure of humor in his present moment of pain, “I’m suffering here! Look what Brian did to me!”
Debbie had heard enough. “Look you little shit! Get your head out of your ass and listen to me!” she said sternly, now starting to wave one pointed finger in the air. The movements of said finger were more pronounced by the color polish she had chosen for the nail.
Michael immediately sat up straight. He knew this mother-tone very well.
She continued, “I know that I’m usually the first one to blame Brian…but not this time! Brian has told you in every way possible over the years how he feels about you…and how he feels about Justin! Brian and Justin love each other. You…know…that! I think it’s wonderful that they finally made it legal.”
“How long have you known?” Michael finally asked.
“Brian and Justin told me together yesterday afternoon. They swore me to secrecy so that Brian could tell you himself. Please tell me that when he told you…you had the fucking balls to at least wish your best friend well?” Debbie demanded to know.
“Wish him well? I told him that Justin didn’t understand him and would never be able to make him happy. I told him that he wouldn’t be happy until he and I were ‘two queens together in Palm Springs’…” Michael was quite wound up and was just about to recite a further litany, when he was stopped.
Feeling the point of Debbie’s finger under his chin, he lifted his face as he was forced to look her in the eye.
“Oh no you didn’t!” she said in disbelief. And Debbie remembered the Brian Kinney that sat across from her with Justin by his side. A man, who no longer cared what anyone else thought about the decisions he made and would no longer put up with the bullshit of the past. She knew at this moment that Michael had sealed his own fate.
Debbie knew it. The question was could she find the words to explain the new reality to her son. Being a bit uncertain, she simply asked, “What did he say?”
“He told me to have a good life, and then he said goodbye,” Michael recounted. “But I’m not worried. He didn’t mean it. I’ll give him a few days to come to his senses, and then he’ll be looking for me like always. Brian will never change. This is just some momentary spell that he is under. After all, he’s Brian fucking Kinney.”
“Honey, I talked to Brian after he and Sunshine made things legal. Brian has changed. He’s a different person. He’s confident about his decision regarding Justin. Brian really doesn’t give a rat’s ass what you or anyone else thinks about his fucking decision. It’s done! You have to accept that! It’s time for you to move on. It’s time for you to wish him well!” she insisted strongly.
“How can I wish him well when he’s made a big mistake?” Michael continued. “He has to fix this. I just have to hope he comes to his senses before it’s too late. I…” Michael continued until his speech of superiority was suddenly interrupted by another voice.
“What did you think, Michael, that you could be with Ben? That you could have your life with Ben and Hunter and JR, and what…Brian was just going to be all alone until the end of time? Don’t you think he deserves to be happy too?” Emmett asked pointedly, while standing by the booth.
“Brian was happy. He’s been happy all these years. Tricking is who Brian Kinney is! He’s never going to change! I have been explaining that simple fact to Justin since the first night that he and Brian met. Justin has always wanted something different. Brian can never be what Justin wants. Justin is just going to leave like he always does. I’ll be left to pick up the pieces like always. Only this time Justin will walk away with all that Brian’s worked for,” Michael said, his anger rising with each statement.
“Michael,” Emmett said quietly, not willing to participate in the tirade he’d just heard. “Brian has changed. His relationship with Justin over the years has changed him, can’t you see that?”
“So you know too?” Michael asked in anger, clearly not liking the way events were preceding. Michael firmly believed he was the righteous victim here, and he just couldn’t understand why no one else could see it.
“I found out by accident,” Emmett gently explained. “But I think it’s wonderful!” he gushed.
Michael looked at Emmett in total disbelief at what he was hearing.
But before Michael could say anything, Emmett took the initiative again. “And I know that all your dreams of growing old with Brian are now gone, but Brian still loves you. You two can still be friends…best friends…as soon as you find a way to apologize to him,” Emmett explained.
“Apologize to him?” Michael protested. “Brian will eventually come to his senses, and then he will apologize to me!” he reiterated. “It won’t take long. I can wait.”
With that comment, Emmett knew he was fighting a losing battle, so he just sighed deeply, and then he reached for one of the menus, appearing to contemplate his lunch selections.
“Emmett, honey, why do you have a menu? Surely by now, you know the whole menu by heart?” Debbie questioned with a laugh.
“I wonder,” Emmett began nonchalantly, “ I wonder, what Melanie and Lindsay are having for lunch? Of course you know, they were invited to lunch at the mansion,” he gushed with a smile.
“Mel and Linds are at the mansion? How did that happen?” Michael asked with complete disbelief, becoming further upset by the turn of events.
“Lindsay begged Justin for an invite. He finally agreed. Paul and Jason are there too. Remember Lindsay went to school with Paul and Brian, so this is a reunion of sorts. Gus and Nicky are having a weekend play date. I bet there’s a big celebration happening out there right now!” Emmett enjoyed relaying, adding his own embellishments as he went along.
“Well, why wasn’t I invited? After all, Brian is my best friend,” Michael professed again.
“Like I told you before, the house belongs to Justin. Justin needs to extend the invitation. But I can tell you right now that Justin is in overprotective mode where Brian is concerned. So unless you and Brian patch things up, I wouldn’t expect an invitation to the mansion anytime soon,” Emmett continued with extreme pleasure. “Just take my word for it, the house is simply a-ma-zing!”
Emmett gave Debbie his to go order, and she quickly scooted out of the booth to put in the order. She also had to try to conceal her own smile at Emmett’s antics.
Emmett decided now was a good time to move to the counter to wait for this order. On his way there, he bumped into a very concerned Ben.
“Hello Em, what are you doing here?” Ben asked with some surprise.
“I might ask you the same question,” Emmett replied. “I’m ordering lunch.”
“Hunter called and said that Michael was upset after talking to Brian. Based on our conversation earlier, I can just guess what Brian must have said. Is Michael ok?” Ben asked with concern.
“See for yourself,” Emmett said, motioning in the direction of the booth where a fuming Michael was still sitting.
Ben took a seat opposite Michael in the booth. Ben waited for a few minutes to be acknowledged. When that didn’t happen, he simply said, “Hi.”
Michael finally noticed who sat opposite him, “Hi Ben, what are you doing here?”
“Hunter called me. He told me you were upset. Are you ok? You don’t look so good,” Ben remarked quietly.
“I’m fine,” Michael assured him.
“I understand that you saw Brian. What did he say?” Ben asked calmly.
“He came to tell me that he and Justin are now legally a couple,” Michael relayed sadly.
Ben paid no attention to his partner’s tone, “That’s wonderful!” he remarked with excessive exuberance, “Good for them. It’s been a long time coming,” he added wistfully. Then Ben looked over at Michael and noted his expression. “Why the long face?” he had to ask.
“This is the biggest mistake that Brian has ever made. You know that he and Justin can’t agree on anything for very long. Brian is never going to change. Justin is just going to leave like he always does. They should have just done a simple commitment ceremony like Melanie and Lindsay or gotten married like you and me. Then when things didn’t work out, they could easily go their separate ways or get a divorce. This is so final. Now when Justin leaves, he’s going to take all Brian’s money with him when he goes,” Michael related to Ben.
“Brian is willing to gamble that Justin isn’t going to leave. Justin must be willing to gamble the same thing,” Ben pointed out. “Surely you know how much they love each other.”
“That’s not what this is about. Justin found some way to get to Brian. I have to find some way to save him. That’s what Zephyr is supposed to do for Rage,” Michael explained.
Ben could only roll his eyes at the comment.
“Michael, please tell me that you didn’t say any of this to Brian? Please tell me that these are your personal thoughts that you’re sharing only with me, your partner? Please tell me that what you said to Brian was a simple ‘Congratulations’ and ‘Best Wishes’?” Ben demanded to know, and then he patiently looked at Michael, waiting for an answer.
“I told Brian that he made a mistake. I told him that Justin would never make him happy. I told him …” Michael continued to ramble self-righteously.
Ben cut off Michael mid-sentence. “Michael,” Ben began calmly with his softest voice.
Michael immediately recognized the tone and immediately stopped speaking.
Ben continued calmly, “I’m going to pick up JR and take her home. I’m sure she’s tired and ready for her nap.”
“Oh yeah…that’s a good idea,” Michael said mindlessly. “I forgot about that. Thanks, Ben.”
Ben stood up and simply said, “JR and I will see you when you get home.”
“Ok,” Michael agreed hesitantly. “Sure.”
And with no further words, Ben simply left the Diner.