Title: DRIVE
By : Phoenix Ghost
Rating: Adults Only
Category: Fanfiction
Characters: Justin Taylor, Brian Kinney, Other Male Character(s), Daphne Chanders, Debbie Novotny, Michael Novotny, Emmett Honeycutt, Ted Schmidt, Lindsay Peterson, Melanie Marcus, Gus, Cynthia, Other female Character, Jennifer Taylor, Craig Taylor, Molly Taylor
Genre: AU, Drama, General/Misc. Angst/Romance
Warnings: Slightly Canon at first, but then it changes because I have Brian going to NY alone to find Justin.
This story takes place right after Brian has found Justin in that Chelesa NY Motel. Then it flips and spins into an AU, with graphic language & violence.
Very OOC, very Anti-Michael, implied Justin/Other, with very graphic sexual descriptions in some Chapters.
Summary: What or,''Who' Drives you? Strap yourself in as the past slams into the present.
Disclaimer: All Characters and situations from Queer as Folk are the properties of Russell T. Davies, Ron Cowen and Daniel Lipman, (Cowlip) Showtime, and others. No Copyright infringement has been intended by this author or this website. This story has been invented for entertainment purposes only and has been rated by the author, and not by any independent body.
A/N In real life, I' ve been to NY. I got to experience it for a full week. It was one of the most exciting experiences of my life!
Btw, all mistakes are my own as I have decided not to have a beta for this fandom any longer.
BIG TY! And SHOUT OUT to my best friend and *helper*, ie postings, images, morale booster, and amazing writer in her own right as Jameschick, Cassy!
Oh, and I have grown to have a fascination with a certain show on LOGO, called Leap Years, so if this story becomes, erm, strange in the jumping from past to present, to past, etc? Blame that damn show...lol It's addictive and challenging to watch.
pg
This chapter is being dedicated to: Kelly...because she asked about my story, and helped the block. Okay Kelly, I hope ya like it so far babe. ;)
For all of the others, sorry this took so damn long to update.
Song: Can We Still Be friends?
By: Todd Rundgren
____________________________________________________________________________
CHAPTER 5
Present tense, same night, still at Chelsea General Hospital, still on the outside of Justins room, and Brian has just introduced himself to Big Tit's and possibly a lawsuit, to boot
"That little fuck Justin Taylor had ALL the luck!" Big Tit's mumbled grouchily but her words were caught in her throat as Brian's hand wrapped swiftly around it.
Darkly he softly said, "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear you say that. Now, be a good little clown and tell me, just how he's doing, and where his room is!"
Suddenly, a pair of bigger hands unwrapped his own, pulling them from her reddening throat, and jerked him backwards hard, dragging him away from the front desk, and around the corner, into the men’s room.
After being shoved headfirst through the door, and then slammed up against the stark white wall, Brian felt the cool of the painted concrete hit his cheek as it was pressed firmly.
Looking up into the darkest pair of jade eyes he'd ever seen, the dark haired man hissed at Brian saying, "You MUST be Brian Kinney, cause son, no one else would be SO stupid as to not only threaten a fuckin' ER Nurse, but to actually lay their hands on her to boot!"
Brian bit his bottom lip as he reined back his temper snarking," Yeah, that's me all right, Brian Kinney, and you must be the 'Pretty voice' that called me, right?"
Giving the irritating older man a quick frustrated shake, Blackie grabbed Brian by his
shoulders and lifted him until they were nose to nose as he growled,
"Can it Kinney! That little blond boy in room 208 is barely hanging by a thread and he needs YOU, so shut the fuck UP, grow a pair, and listen to me, NOW!"
At the startled mans slow cartoon blink, it was then Blackie’s turn to bite his own bottom lip as he fought hard not to snicker.
A moment or two passed before he realized that he had actually reached the guy, and it seemed like he was willing to do just that.
Slowly he lowered Brian to the ground, then fussed a bit as he straightened the mans rumpled clothes for him, while he hastily explained just what Justin's ER Doctor, Dr. Kief had earlier informed him of, concerning young Justin Taylor.
As each word was released from Blackie’s sexy mouth, Brian felt his blood chill.
And as the guilt had covered him like an itchy army blanket, Brian felt himself begin
to sweat, and his stomach to roll with disgust.
White-hot anger burned in his veins.
Directed at Mickey, and at Debbie, and god forbid, even at himself as the severity of Justin's bizarre situation, and the guilt at what he'd let happen to his baby, ate at him like cancer.
Through parched lips he rasped, "Excuse me," just in time to miss the other man's boots as he bolted for the nearest toilet and heaved his guts.
After he had washed his face and hands, Brian was still feeling shaky as he looked into the mirror at the tall dark haired man standing quietly behind him. ' Watching him. His every move.'
Feeling himself sway as hot wave after wave of deep seeded feelings of inadequacy threatened to choke him, Brian knew he had to get control of himself, before he started bawling like Emmett, or whining like, like Teddy! He was about to think of 'HIM' but, right now, even thinking of that asshole little fucks name would send him rushing back out there to take it out on the homophobic asshole bleached blonde dung bomb, and gleefully finish what he had tried earlier to start!
'Well,' he inwardly snarked, 'I had been doing just fine until HE moseyed along! Damn nosey cowboy!'
Angrily tossing the damp paper towel into the waste bin, the famous Kinney temper hit a rolling boil as he whirled, verbally attacking the surprised man in a jealous rage thundering,
"And what has this FUCK all to do with YOU? Hmm?" He snarled, poking the man in his chest as he yelled,
"Why are you even still here? What do you want 'Blackie', and don't you EVEN fucking dare deny it, I saw the way you had been looking at him when he had been on that stretcher! You want to fuck him, don't you!" Brian declared hotly as he stared up at the now blushing younger man.
Smirking, Brian narrowed his eyes as he hissed,
"Well know this. Justin is MINE. No matter who he's ever with, I was there first. He loves me. He's in love with ME. You or anyone else would and will always be a poor substitute for ME."
~~~~
Blackie felt like he had been caught with both of his hands in the proverbial cookie jar.
Except ever since he had laid eyes on the beautiful younger boy, he couldn't deny that everything the boys former, or present lover was shouting about, had passed through his mind.
Blackie was certainly no slouch in the looks department, but not once had Justin even flirted with him!
But Blackie couldn't help himself from doing so to Justin.
Even as banged up as he was, Justin had quickly won the admiration of the staff, even the bigoted ones.
With his beautiful ocean eyes and his sunny little grin, hell, who wouldn't want him!?
Looking down at the obviously scared yet still highly agitated older man, Blackie
sighed.
He really couldn't blame Brian Kinney.
Hell if Justin HAD been his, after the poor dear had been treated so badly, almost dying... Heads would of still been rolling like bloody bowling balls down the pristine white halls!
And what a gruesome thought THAT was! EW! He admonished himself as he gave a tiny shudder.
~~~~~
Brian grinned grimly as he watched the younger man quiver in fear.
'Yeah, that's right asshole, fear me! For I am a mean mother fucker!'
The edges of his mind fuzzed for a bit, as he saw bright sparks of white.
Then once the weight of sheer exhaustion from everything over whelmed him, blissful darkness claimed him as his knees buckled and he felt himself pitch forward into waiting strong arms.
~~~~~~
Looking down at the silky chestnut head of a passed out Brian Kinney, Blackie groaned.
'Great! Just. Fucking...Great!'
One minute, the man acted like they were best buds, the next, he's showing his best toothy 'King Rex Dinosaur impression, then, suddenly Brian's swooning into his arms like Scarlet bloody O' Hara!
WHAT. A. DRAMA. QUEEN!
Sticking his tongue out at his reflection in the mirror, Blackie quickly scooped up the man under his legs as he cradled Brian to his chest, and carried him out of the bathroom, and down the hall back to the Big Titted blonde bitch posing in a Nurses costume.
~~~~~
Seeing the wild look in the tall dark haired Adonis's eyes, and noticing the grey pallor of the handsome man's face that had earlier tried to choke the shit out of her, Big Tits pale blue piggy eyes went wide as she fumbled for her phone, and begin punching out the emergency number.
Cursing as she lost one of her Lee press on nails, hastily she called for help.
Thirty minutes later, Blackie had filled out yet MORE fucking paper work, and his back teeth were aching...
In his mind he heard his Dentist's snarky high pitched nasal voice chiding,
"Mr. Storm, perhaps a chew toy would suffice?"
And, at his snort the little sawed off shit had spat,
"Honestly Blackie, IF you don't stop grinding your teeth like this, I am going to recommend you find yourself another Dentist! I can't treat you if you're not going to follow my instruction to began with!"
~~~~~~~
Plopping his jean clad butt into yet another uncomfortable plastic hospital waiting room chair, Blackie stared at the stark white walls and did just what the room was for, he waited.
And he waited, and he waited some more until finally, he demanded for Big Tit's to tell him of the other mans fate.
He wanted to slap the taste out of her mouth as she smirked and showed him her little pointy teeth saying blithely, "Oh him? Honey he checked himself out about a couple of hours ago. In fact," She snickered softly, " you just missed him, he called a cab and it left about 25 minutes ago. He didn't say much after he'd checked in on the kid in 208, but he did leave you these."
Blackie looked down at the two cream colored envelopes with mixed feelings.
Snatching them out of her claw-like grasp he turned to leave, until she caught his arm.
Noticing his growing agitation, she purred coyly, "Why, was there something you needed to tell him? If you'll give me your number, I'll make SURE he gets it sugar. After all, I did do his patient file."
She winked and then licked her large red clown mouth. Ever sooo slowly.
'OH HELL NO, no way.' Blackie shuddered, pocketing the soon forgotten envelopes as he turned to head down to Justin's room, not looking forward to the news he had now to share with they young boy concerning Brian Kinney, yet eager to be away from the large breasted cow behind the desk dressed like a Nurse.
~Fast Leap to present day, July 2006 Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania~
"Gus honey! Put that picture of Sunshine down before you drop it! And use both hands!" Came the shrill warning from the kitchen as the older red headed woman scolded him.
"Aw Gramma Debbie! I ain't gonna hurt it, sides'" the little boy said with a small shrug,
"I was jus' lookin' at him! He's really pretty, like a girl, kinda, but he's a boy, that's kinda wierd, don'tcha think so? Did he really name me? Mommy and Daddy said he did. Well, Mama said, "I can't believe you let that asshole let his trick name our son!"
The older woman hid a grin behind her hands as she loudly gasp, "Agustus Adian Peterson-Kinney! Watch your language little britches!"
"Hey! I'm not no baby! And, I even know what a trick is, and Sunshine was NO trick! Mommy says Daddy really loved him too. I wish I could meet him and tell him so. Then maybe Daddy won't look so sad." Gus mumbled as he crossed his slender arms and sunk down low in the couch cushions and pouted.
Suddenly he was all angelic smiles as she walked into the living room bearing his favorite treat in the whole world.
After she set down the small silver tray laden with lemon bars and three mugs of hot chocolate on top of the battered brown coffee table, picking up the smallest of the mugs, she grinned back at him as she carefully handed him his hot chocolate brimming with melting mini marshmallows. The little boy frowned as she then reminded him to, "Be very careful, it's hot."
Rolling his honey-hazel eyes, he reminded her of his father as he said, "Well duh Nanna Deb, that's WHY they call it 'hot choclolate init?"
His curiosity was thrumming as he innocently added, "We have one just like it at home ya know, almost the same frame too. So, what's the REAL name of the pretty blond boy Nanna Deb? And don't tell me Sunshine, cause NO ONE would name their kid THAT!"
"Justin," She barely whispered, as tears spiked her lashes. "The blond boy in the picture, his name was, is, Justin. Justin Ta...
Just then, her front door shut. Revealing a very familiar voice that boomed, "Agustus! That wasn't a very nice thing to say to your grandmother, now apologize or I won't let you have the window seat."
Debbie Novotny bit back a hoot of laughter even as she wiped away tears of sadness that the little boy had unknowingly caused by his innocent questions as she watched the little light brown haired boy deliberate.
But, knowing the little guy as well as she did, she didn't even have to count to 10 before he piped up,
"Sorry Nanna." Followed by a mumbled, "Mmmm, tis is goo!" As he attempted to talk with half of a lemon bar stuffed in his small mouth.
Rolling eyes identical to his son's, Brian Kinney snagged the other half out of Gus's little hand and stuffed it in his own mouth, then grinned a messy yellow grin.
At his little boys, "EWW! Daddy! Gerrwosss!"
Debbie reached over and smacked Brian in the back of his head lightly, then handed him his mug of cocoa. Kissing him on the cheek, she fondly called him, "You little asshole."
As Brian and Gus finished their late afternoon snack, Debbie went upstairs to finish packing Gus's Superman suitcase.
After tearful goodbyes on her part, she watched as they got into the waiting Yellow cab.
Soon, she was again alone in her big house.
~~~~
While the Cabbie placed their luggage into his trunk, at the same time, Brian carefully helped his young son into the back seat.
After buckling them both in he barked to the driver, "To the airport, and step on it buddy, I can't miss that plane!"
"Yes sir." The driver replied with a frown that quickly turned into a grin as Brian waved a couple of hundreds under the mans big nose.
Winking down at Gus, Brian then made a silly face.
Gus just rolled his eyes.
'Honestly, his daddy was such a show off with his money!' He thought as the small yellow cab raced to the airport.
~Same day, same year, but now in Chelsea NY in the office of Blue Collar Cabs~
"Aww, come ON Jinks! You know I always have Mondays off! Besides, it's raining a whole damn barnyard out there!" Blackie whined above the crash of thunder, and the steady downpour of the rain as it smacked against the roof of the building.
The short grey haired woman looked him up and down as she slowly sucked her front teeth.
Squinting her bloodshot brown eyes, she said, " I know you want to be spending time with Blu, but dammit Blackie, we have a business to run. And with Dawg and Mello out sick with the damn flu,...Besides, it's not like there are a bunch of rides, it's just this one. And it's a big one. Seems like this guy is stuck at the airport with his young son, and he's willing to pay primo." She wheedled.
"And most of the Taxis in that area because of this damn storm are garaged. And it's at the JFK..." She trailed helplessly as she lifted her elderly hands in frustration, then sneezed a very un-lady like sneeze.
"WAACHOO!"
In unison, two voices piped up, "Bless you!"
"Thank you." She sniffed.
Picking up the large grey ledger with a halo on the top of a happy face, she shoved it toward Blackie and said, "I already ran his credit, the cards good, but," she shrugged her thin shoulders, "it could be stolen, now days, ya never know. So would you take this up to your office and give it a good search run, just to be sure?"
"Oh god. WAAAAAAACHOOOOO!" She sneezed again, almost knocking herself off her feet.
"Bless you Jinks." Said a young blond boy softly after handing her a box of pink tissues.
"Thanks Blu." The older woman replied as she daintily plucked one from the top.
"It's okay, I bought more, here have another." he offered.
She snatched a few more, then quickly put them to use as she sneezed two more times.
"WAACHOO! WASHEW!"
"You're welcome, and by the way, bless you again times two, and I'll do it." He added with a sunny grin.
Seeing his friend Blackie’s pout, he said, "Look, we'll go see Superman when Corn Dawg and _Mocha_Mello can go too, okay?"
As the pout enlarged he wheedled, "Now, you know YOU wouldn't like it if THEY went without us now would you? And would a TRUE friend, especially such a good fan of Superman, would that person go see only the hottest Superman EVER, without his best buds?"
Slowly Blackie shook his dark head as he tucked the large ledger under his arm.
With a heavy sigh he walked over to the peg board and plucked off the keychain.
"Think fast!" he said as he tossed the blond the keys to the best cab they had.
"Wow!" The boy snarked, easily snagging the flying keys out of the air. Picking up a dark blue driver hat and settling it down over his blond hair, he smirked, "I feel sooooo privileged! You're letting me take da Duce?"
Rolling his dark jade eyes Blackie snarked back, "Don't be such an ass Blu. da Duce is the only vehicle in the fleet that can brave this kind of weather. Erm, and ah, I just had new tires put on her, so drive very careful, okay? Coz you let her, she'll kick yer ass from here to Harlem!"
Rolling his own eyes, the boy looked over at the older woman and they both snickered.
"Riiight. Yeah Blackie, we know, da Duce is one ass kickin' machine."
They sing sanged as they watched him huff his way up the stairs to his office, mumbling under his breath about ungrateful blue eyed boys and bag ladies.
Blu went into the hold to check on 'da Duce'.
The phone rang, and before either one of them could pick it up, Blackie yelled down,
"Jinks! Melba on line 2!"
Eagerly she picked up the phone and connected the call.
A large smile wreathed her wrinkled features as the warm voice of her best friend in the world filled the line.
~~~~~
After filling the tank, checking the oil, and a few other odds and ends, Blu was now satisfied that the car would safely get him there and back.
Patting Blu's cheek, Jinks told him that Melba was going to be picking her up, and that they were going to be checking on Dawg and Mello as well as drop off some homemade chicken noodle soup for the boys too, so she didn't need a ride home after all.
A loud *HONK* signalled Melba's arrival.
After seeing her safely to the waiting car, Blu shook off the rain from his hair and briskly towelled off his arms.
Hitting the stairs at a quick trot, soon he was outside Blackie’s office.
After a sharp rap on the glass, Blackie closed the ledger and bade him entrance.
Before Blu had come up, it had only taken a few minutes to check on the clients credit.
It had been above plat, same as most people with that kind of card, a 'no limit' credit card.
While the client's last name, 'Kinney', had faintly rang a few bells, Blackie passed it off as just feeling a bit perturbed at having his evening plans ruined.
Smiling up at Blu, he waved him over to a chair and soon they had worked out the best and safest route to the airport and then to the clients hotel.
Blackie smiled at him as he said, "Well, after this last client, why don't you pick up a couple of garbage pail pizzas and we can pop off the tops of some beers and catch up on some movies on the DTV? Oh, and your place or mine?"
The dimples in Blu's cheeks deepened as he shyly grinned back, and said, "Um, okay then, sounds like a plan, ah, mine I guess?"
"Do you think LBJ and Puddin' will be awake?" Blackie cautiously asked his younger friend, careful not to piss Blu off as he was very sensitive about his, 'children.'
"Naw, they should be asleep. Oh, and before I forget," Blu said as he fished out his wallet from a back pocket of his tight blue jeans.
Blackie swallowed hard and adjusted himself as discreetly from behind his thick oak desk as he dared.
"just in case I don't get back in time, would you pay the sitter for me, and remind her to call the answering service and set up next Monday for their Dr. Appointments?"
"Put yer money away boy, it's no good here." Blackie snorted.
"Bite me old man, here, take it!" Blu insisted.
"Look Blu, if it wasn't for you, we'd of lost this place. Put. Your. Wallet. Away. Now." He softly growled.
"Now, dammit Blackie, YOU know if it had not been for YOU, I wouldn't even BE here, let alone silly rich because of those two twats and that psycho Derrick! I mean, what would of happened to me if not for you guys, huh?"
The younger boy shuddered, thinking, 'After all, he, after, Bri, erm, HE JUST left me there,..' NOT gonna go there! Dammit!'
Glaring at his friend he growled, causing Blackie to arch an ebony brow as he snarled,
"OH fuck it! LOOK Brendan, take the fucking money, here!"
The blond spat, as he slapped down five twenties on top of Blackie’s desk.
They both stood there for a moment staring at each other, feeling a bit more than just a rise in the rooms temperature.
Knowing that the something that had been building between them for the last almost five years was reaching it's boiling point.
And it looked like tonight might be the start of something, different. But what?
They had been friends for so long.
Good close friends.
So, where do they go from there?
Blackie swallowed hard as he looked at the object of his desire.
Licking his lips he said, "Look, I'll just go on over there now, and let Annabelle get on home to Charlie and their crew okay? I'll watch over the 'boys' until you get home."
"Well, okay, if that's okay with her, it's all right with me then. And, I know the boys will love it, cause knowing them, they're in her hair still." said the blond, " Um, I'd best go then, if I'm gonna get back, so I'll see ya."
And with a quick wave he was bounding down the stair two at a time, anxious to go and get the client and his son and get them safely to their destination and then get home to, ...Filing that thought under 'dangerous territory' Blu closed his eyes and willed it away, for now.
As he carefully wheeled the dark blue Ford out of the garage hold and into the wet evening traffic, Blu fiddled with the radio button on the steering wheel.
When a blast of rock music almost knocked him to the floorboards, he sighed in relief as a mellow and sexy voice of a radio station DJ announced himself and the stations call letters.
The rhythm of the wipers and the young mans words helped calm his nerves as he quickly made his way to JKF to pick up their last client of the day.
"This is Aaron Phillips on Soft Rock 103. And I'll be bringing you the hits from yesterday and today until midnight to fill in for Sherane who is out with the flu. Get well honey, we miss you don't we audience? Oh, and I will be taking any requests as well.
So, don't be shy, and call me at 555-7638, that's 555-'soft'
But first, a quick word from one of our sponsors and then we start, the power hour!
Shibling Shoes, the home of Bigfoot Harry is having their 14 year anniversary sale all day THIS Tuesday through Sunday! That's right, starting tomorrow, and ending on Sunday, You can buy one pair of Shibling’s hand made shoes and get the second pair half off!
Stop by and see Bigfoot Harry Shilbing, and tell him Aaron from Soft Rock 103 sent you, and get an additional 15% off!
Up Next is a Soft Rock classic, It was even featured in the hit movie, Dumb and Dumber. Ah that Jim Carey, he cracks me up, and wow, remember Lauren Holly? What a dish! Folks, if ya gotta break up, this is the way to say it. It's also one of my favorites by Todd Rundgren. Here's, 'Can We Still be friends?'
All...Gone....
We can't play this game anymore
But can we still be friends?
Things just can't go on like before
But can we still be friends?
We had something to learn
Now it's time for the wheel to turn
Grains of sand one by one
Before you know it it's all gone
Let's admit we made a mistake
But can we still be friends?
Heartbreak's never easy to take
But can we still be friends?
It's a strange sad affair
Sometimes seems like we just don't care
Don't waste time feeling hurt
We've been through hell together
Where do we go from here
We can't play this game anymore
But can we still be friends?
Things just can't go on like before
But can we still be friends?
We awoke from our dream
Things are not what they always seem
Memories linger on
It's like a sweet, sad, old song
Where do we go from here
Where do we go from here
I can't play this game anymore
Can we still be friends?
Things just can't go on like before
I just wanna be friends
I just wanna be, wanna be, wanna be
And now I just wanna be friends
We had something to learn, something to learn
Now can we still be friends?
Let's admit our mistakes
As the haunting song faded, tears filled his blue eyes as the face and name of someone he hadn't given himself the luxury of really thinking about in a long time surfaced.
because to do so left him vulnerable.
Racing raw across his emotions, and feeling as if he'd just inhaled glass, quickly he snapped off the radio, and wiped his arm angrily across his wet face.
Changing lanes he sped on, hoping to get there early and possibly get himself a bigger tip for his trouble.
He didn't really need the money, due to a judgment error on the part of the Hospital that several years ago almost killed him, simply because of an employee’s judgemental homophobic attitude.
Not only had it cost her and her daughter their Nursing careers, but, as an added bonus, and a very real demand of his, he had insisted they stay on as part of the cleaning crew on the Psych Ward. It was really nasty inside there.
And honestly no more than those two cunts deserved.
The money he had been awarded in court had not only paid for all four years of his College Art and Business classes at NYU, but had even paid off the mortgage at Blue Collar cabs and had built not one but two apartment complexes for Operation AOW.
And, in the last five years, several hundred boys had been given a chance to become better people.
Some had even went on to finish School, and even go through College too.
Some had been reunited with their families, and counselling had been offered to them all.
There were scholarships to be applied for, and even grants too.
Blu had wanted to do more for the three men who had taken him into their hearts and homes, but they had stubbornly insisted that he save the money or spend it on himself or his little 'family' instead.
Well, his 'kids' were plenty spoiled.
They were always fashionable dressed, and only the best was bought for them.
And, the Hospital had only the best of everything too.
Not only was the entire staff pre-screened for any signs of prejudice or bigotry, an open mind, as well as a live and let live attitude was a must at his Hospital.
In fact? 75% of his employees were gay, as well as bisexual, and even transgendered too.
He was a fair boss, and in his books, people were given merit on their deeds, not their body parts.
Lovely paintings, scenes of everything from the ocean, to sunsets and sunrises.
Far off exotic places.
Happy families, puppies and kittens too.
Each patient room held a different theme, with comfortable pastel colors.
The now three waiting rooms were peach colored, with a brushed blue monochromatic and chrome color scheme, with large half wall length fish tanks, filled with exotic fish.
Only spring water from a dispenser was allowed.
Not that nasty brown public water.
Even the restrooms were lovely.
His waiting rooms contained the most comfortable chairs, which he had done first, after hearing how traumatized poor Blackie’s back and ass had become after being forced to wait in the cold plastic hell chairs, and stare at ugly paintings on stark bleak white cement walls.
And, after what had happened to Rosella because the Hospital at the time had no indigent program nor did it have the proper equipment to save her young life, Blu had made damn sure it now did.
In fact, his Hospital now had the best Children's Trauma and ER in the State!
And, for the indigent, or anyone that couldn't pay for ANY reason, he also had a trust fund set up with endless funds.
Because after his lawsuit, his own settlement had rocked!
So, not only had he found ways around their silly rules by donating all of his tips to their charity, 'Angels On Wheels', or 'AOW'. Blu was a very successful Artist who held several Art auctions and was a master at business ideas.
And he made sure all proceeds went right to the AOW and BCC and Hospital funds too.
After all, he owned one of the most successful Hospitals in the area.
And when the boys had protested that he always did too much, he had cheekily reminded them that ANY and ALL of his contributions were 'tax' deductible.
Pulling up to the curb, he could make out the silhouettes of two figures. One very tall, and one very small.
~~~~
"Daddy, Daddy!" Gus chanted, yanking at his father's pants leg as he watched the dark blue car approaching, "Looky, it's here, it's our Angel cab! yea!" he cheered, throwing up a slim arm in victory and relief.
He had counted 4 cigarettes his daddy had already smoked.
EW! When he got big? Gus was determined that he'd never ever smoke!
Grinning, Gus remembered daddy now owed him $20.00 bucks.
Yanking yet again on his daddy’s grey dress pants, he smirked up at him as he said,
"See daddy, I tole ya so!" as he tilted his little head, and held out his little hand, palm up.
~~~~~~
Looking down at his boy Brian had to chuckle.
Gus looked so much like his mother as he stuck out his jaw and his eyes glinted with the knowledge that he had been right. That 'hand' thing looked familiar too. Lindsay always had her hand out...
With a small sigh, Brian took his wallet out of his front pants pocket and opening it up, fished out a crisp $20.00.
As he held it down and out to Gus, Brian couldn't help but grin as he noticed his son had his own miniature wallet open and ready for the money.
Well, it had been worth it.
Because earlier, he had been so damn frustrated, and Brian had almost thrown the worn phone book across the lobby as call after call to local cabs had netted him zilch.
Even the promise of a hefty tip had not swayed them.
The other places had been booked solid, or just garaged, due to the poor weather.
Finally Gus had pulled on his pants leg and asked to see the big book, as he wanted to 'pick' out a cab company, since daddy was having such a bad time finding one.
Since his son was just learning to read, and he was a very bright little boy, Brian didn't want to act like his asshole father and dim Gus's spirit of adventure. So he'd smiled down at his little boy and then ruffled his hair as he handed him the large phone book.
Biting his plump pink lips, Gus sat down on the dark brown bench, tucked his long legs underneath him and began carefully thumbing through page after page until he squealed,
"Here Daddy! I found it! This is the cab we should take to get to Mommy!
"See," Pointing one chubby little finger at the little halo'd blue collared smiley faced ad, he crowed, "This one daddy! We simply MUST ride in this one! Promise?!" He demanded as he pleaded up at his father with sad puppy eyes.
Sighing, Brian just looked at the number, quickly memorizing it and then flipping out his cell, he punched in the number to Blue Collar Cabs.
After chatting with an elderly lady who sounded like she needed to be home in bed nursing her cold, instead of answering phones, they quickly came to an agreed price, after which she sneezed, apologised, took his Credit card number over the phone and then informed him that a driver would be there within the hour, and then thanked him several times for calling.
~~~~
And now, here it was, almost an hour later.
As the dark blue cab pulled up to a stop at the curb, Brian waited all but a few seconds before he opened the door and hoisted a giggling Gus quickly into the back seat, leaving their luggage for the driver to stow away into the trunk.
~~~~~
At that same time, Blu jumped out of the driver’s side, and began doing just that.
A hearty *slam* of the trunk, signalled to the client that they were now ready to leave.
But then, Heaven burst open as sheets of hard rain begun to slam into the earth.
"Crap!" Cursed the driver softly as he jumped back into the car, swiftly slamming the door shut.
"Daddy," Gus mock whispered, "The driver guy just cussed."
Brian laughed, "Gus, crap isn't a curse word. It's just a word people use instead of, you know, that word they use."
"Shit?" Gus offered innocently, full Kinney smirk beaming.
Brian gave him an answering smirk, and rolled his eyes.
Where was he picking up this shit?'
~~~
Blu had to chuckle. 'That poor man had his hands full with that one!' He thought wryly.
Still, he could sympathize.
His own two could be quite the handful as well though.
Speaking of which, he needed to get home to them, as well as...Okay, no time like the present to give the ole' spiel Company speech.
The spiel was Corn Dawgs way of making a client feel good for choosing BCC.
Reaching behind him, he slid open the little sliding glass door.
Taking a deep breath, he tried to make his voice rise above the pouring mess outside the car as he said,
"Hi, I'm Blu and I'll be your driver tonight. Welcome to Blue collar cabs. We appreciate your business. Our goal is to get you there fast, but safe."
Turning now, he pushed back the bill of his drivers hat, no longer shadowing his face, and still blinking the water out of his eyes.
"Wow, that's some rainstorm huh little guy?" He grinned, looking down at the cute little boy behind him clutching a small light brown teddy bear.
"Who's your friend there?" Blu asked the boy, motioning to the little bear.
"His name is Gus." The little boy said smiling a strange secretive smile.
Looking him straight in the eyes he added, "He was given to me by a pretty blond boy named Justin, when I was just a baby."
As Gus was waiting for this to sink in, he then said, "It used to be his bear when he was just a little boy. It's also my name too. Justin named me the night I was borned, my daddy let him. I like my name, it's different, don't you think so Mr...Blu?" Gus asked him innocently with a charming smile.
~~~~~
Blu couldn't breathe.
No! It couldn't be...
Carefully he asked the little boy, "How old are you Gus? I'll bet your not much older than my little boy Puddin', and he's six."
Gus stared at the man and blinked very slowly.
Oh yeah. This HAD to be 'him'. Cause' only someone named 'Sunshine' would name his kid, 'Puddin'...Good grief.
Holding up one small hand with his fingers splayed, Gus counted them off slowly.
"One, two, three, four, five. I'm five Mr. Blu. How old are you?" The little boy asked him slyly.
'Oh God! Oh God, then, that means, that...'
His mind would not wrap around that fact!
And that fact was that this was actually Gus, the little boy who's newborn picture he still carried around in his wallet, and that same boy was really sitting in the back of his cab...
Brian and Lindsay's little boy. Once upon a time...His little boy...
Sadness covered him in waves as it sank in.
All...Gone...
He had missed SO much.
All of Gus's baby firsts.
Even the little boy's first word.
All of it gone.
And all because Brian hadn't wanted him anymore.
At least that's what Blackie had told him Brian had said.
Even five years later, it still hurt. Deeply.
That sharp pain of not being wanted, was once more making it difficult to breathe.
Brian hadn't even deemed him worthy enough to be man enough to tell him to his face that they were over.
Then his mind splintered. 'If Gus was sitting in the back seat, then that meant that Brian....NO! It was too much to deal with.'
A shiver of want hit him hard as he then realized, 'Oh god! then that means, that means,'
But he never even got the thought finished as he then heard the voice that had haunted his dreams for the last 5 years...
"Hello Sunshine..." said the sexy voice from his past.
A tiny snort came from the back seat as Gus said, "Sunshine? Honestly Daddy, that's SUCH a silly name! His name's JUSTIN!" Gus announced loudly, as he enjoyed the twin looks of shock that registered on both men’s handsome faces.
But Blu wasn't even paying them any attention as his eyes rolled up, and he passed out with one name screaming in his mind, and barley whispered from his lips..."BRIAN!”
~~~~~~
As Blackie was at his desk with both cream envelopes in front of him gnawing on his thumb deliberating what he should do, Brian was freaking out.
"JUSTIN! Wake the fuck UP! JUSTIN!"
"Daddy, yellin' at him really isn't gonna help a whole hella lot. Why don't you just call 911 on your cell?"
Brian felt foolish as he obediently followed the sage advice of his five year old son.
Just then, Brian had another blast from the past as he heard a familiar pretty voice anxiously say, "Breaker 19, Blu? Are you there Blu? Is everything...okay? BLU! Come back?"
Ignoring the concern mounting from the radio caller, Brian gave the 911 dispatch the best description of the cab and their location that he could.
Then he hopped out in the deluge and got into the front of the cab.
Scooting Justin over as far as he could toward the passenger side, he waited in the drivers side as he'd been instructed to do.
As the pretty voice got more and more demanding, Brian finally picked up the handset.
~~~~~~
Blackie's thoughts were getting the best of him as his imagination ran wild.
'Woulda, coulda, shoulda', marched over and over in his brain.
Damning himself to seven kinds of hell, he carefully picked up one cream colored envelope and tore it open.
Out fell a credit card.
And it was identical to the one he'd just looked up on the net.
Only this card had the name Justin Taylor 'Kinney' printed on the front of it.
As the card slipped from his fingers, guilt in large waves rushed over him, drawing him back five years ago to a hospital room with a small boy in the bed.
As Blackie walked into the room, he'd felt a heavy weight on his heart for what he was about to do.
And the two cream envelopes felt like a dead weight in his pocket.
He had decided in the time it took him to walk from the front desk to Justin's room, room 208, that whatever Brian Kinney had left for Justin inside those two envelopes would have to just stay a mystery, as NEVER would he mention or open them.
'But,' he had told himself, 'it's all for the boy's own good. That man is no good for him, he'll just end up hurting him even more, unless...
'Brian was right! You cad! You really DO want the boy for yourself! Shame on you!' His inner goodie good voice snarked.
'Aww, piss off already!' The brat ran off from the old fart, that RIGHT there should prove, he's better off with US than him!' His uber bad voice blasted back.
"Blackie?" A soft voice said, and it brought him out of his internal battle.
Walking over to the slim body in an arm cast and with more tubes than he'd ever care to see again running all over his tiny frame, Justin Taylor pinned Blackie with a 'look' and then in a defeated sounding small shaky voice asked, "Did he even come and see me? I, I thought I heard his voice...I, I can even smell his scent in my room! Blackie, I have to know! Did Brian come here, did he visit me?! Is he coming to take me home? Doesn't he want me anymore?"
Brilliant blue orbs filled with tears that ran down his small face and dampened his hospital gown as Blackie shook his dark head and choked hoarsely, "No, he didn't. No, I did call him, so I guess he, I guess he isn't. And, no, since he hasn't called, or shown up, obviously he doesn't."
As the tears fell faster and the slim body began to shake with hard sobs, Blackie hastily said, "But, I, I mean we'll all be here for you Blu. Me, n', Corn, n', Mello, n', Melba, n', Jinks, we'll ALL be your family, and we'll take care of you. I promise you, and we'll never make you for even one minute feel unloved or unwanted."
The small boy sniffed and then peered up at him through a lock of white blond hair as he asked shyly, "Why did you call me that?"
Blackie frowned as he quickly re-ran their conversation and then grinned as he explained about his School trip and the beautiful ocean water.
"Well, since my life back there is over, I guess Justin Taylor is dead."
Giving Blackie a watery smile he said, Just call me 'Blu.'
~~~~
Blackie sighed as the memory faded.
Picking up the second envelope, he cursed as it slit his finger.
Sucking on the sore digit, he mused, well, never had lasted all of five years.
Lifting up the torn flap, he closed his eyes briefly before slipping out a folded piece of paper.
As he carefully unfolded it. Tears blurred his eyes as he read,
Blackie,
I know what you must think of me, and I don't really care. How can I expect for you to even understand when I myself have no answers?
I was his first at so many things, and no matter my feelings for him, for now, I owe it to him to get out of his life.
You see Blackie, Justin has nothing waiting for him back home.
His own family even has given up on him.
He's still so young, and my selfishness almost got him killed.
I just can't stand this 'guilt.' It's eating away at my soul. I won't subject him to any more pain.
What Justin wants right now, I just can't give, and that's some of the reasons why he ran away in the first place.
Now in the second envelope is a credit card. It's actually the closest I've come to anything commitment like toward Justin from me.
As you can see, it's even in his name, and, in mine.
Someday, I'll, well, I guess I'll make an honest man out of him, but, until then, well, if he accidentally finds the card, just show him this letter I guess.
But, if at all possible, I don't want him to know about it. Now, you use it for HIS needs.
And he has a lot of them too!
Justin needs to finish High school.
God! He's in his Senior Year! He's also an amazing Artist, with miles of raw talent.
He wants to go to College, please, see for me that he does.
It would be a damn shame for him to waste a mind like his.
I could go on and on about just how smart and talented and stubborn he is, but I'm almost out of paper, and it would take too long to tell you everything.
Some things you'll just have to figure out for yourself.
Do I love him?
You have no idea just how damn much I truly do.
I even let him name my son.
You see, I met Justin on the night that Gus was born.
Look, I'm starting to sound lesbianiac here, so, just watch over him for me, okay?
And if he needs anything, anything at all, you call me, or just use that card. I know you have my cell number.
Later,
Brian
Blackie dropped the letter and grabbed the ham radio as if it were a lifeline.
He had to stop Blu from getting to Brian, and NOW!
Because if Justin ever found out about those envelopes, he'd hate him.
Desperation drove his fingers as he tried to tune in Justin's frequency.
"Breaker 19...Blu? Are you there Blu? Is everything...Okay? BLU! Come back?"
And, when all he was getting was static, he became frantic.
"Answer me! Please! Blu! Dammit, Justin! Pick up that fuckin' handset you stubborn ass! BLU! ARE YOU THERE!?"
And his blood froze in his veins as he heard a smooth voice chuckle and say, "That's a negatory good buddy. 'Blu' is on his way to the Hospital. I believe it's called, Taylor General?...Ya got big Daddy K. Come back?"
The voice he hadn't heard from in years answered him pleasantly.
Then the voice turned mean as it hissed, "Blackie, call me on my cell, NOW! And buddy, you'd best have some answers ready! You copy that?" he barked.
"Ten four!" Blackie squeaked.
And then, Brian smirked darkly as his cell phone rang.
Gus just rolled his eyes.
His daddy was SUCH a drama Queen!
Speaking of drama, he watched silently as the noisy ambulance pulled up and began unloading the gurney to take his daddy's Sunshine away...