March 2025 4 PM Waiting room, Gynecologist Office “Well? What did the doctor say, was your home test correct?” “We definitely have to start thinking about names Gus.” “Are we ready for this Katherine? I mean are we really ready for this?” “Whether we're ready or not really doesn’t matter Gus since we're going to have a baby either way.” “A baby, I can’t believe that I’m going to be a father.” “Well Mr. Peterson-Marcus you were there when it happened. I didn’t do it all by myself.” “I knew I should’ve stayed a virgin. I should’ve resisted your charms on our wedding night. I should’ve kept my dick in those fancy pajama shorts my Dad bought me.” “That's so funny Gus.” “Have you got all of your belongings? I‘ll get the car and I'll meet you at the door.” “I'm perfectly capable of walking with you to the car, I’m not even 2 months pregnant yet.” *** Inside the Peterson-Marcus car “Having a child isn’t going to be that hard Gus. We‘re young and healthy and both of us have good jobs so money isn’t a problem. So why're you so worried about having a baby?” “I know that it shouldn't bother me so much; it just wasn’t something I was planning on having to deal with for a while.” “This year, next year, or the year after that. What difference would it really make? We both knew that we'd have a family eventually.” “I know we were planning on having children but the thing about those kind of plans are that they're in the future and now reality has set in. The only real difference would be how old we'll be when this child makes us grandparents. OH SHIT!” “What’s the matter Gus?” “It just occurred to me, we're going to have to tell our parents about this change in our family situation.” “So?” “Think about it Katherine. Between us we have 6 parents and only 5 of them will be happy to find out that they're going to be grandparents. Actually your parents already are grandparents so they won’t even notice the addition of another grandchild to the family so that leaves 3 happy parents and 1 very unhappy parent.” “OH SHIT you’re right Brian is going to have a cow. Your mothers'll be great and Justin'll be a wonder but your Dad is going to freak. He's such a good looking man, he can pass for 10 years younger than he is without a problem; yet I’ve never known anyone to worry about their age as much as he does. Why is that Gus?” “The best I’ve ever been able to figure is that for much of his life he tied his self worth into his looks and his ability to trick with any man he wanted. He was always afraid that if he visibly aged he would lose both. He's been with Uncle Justin so long I always hoped that he would get over his fear of aging but he never has. I can only imagine how much worse he would be if he hadn’t managed to hook up with Uncle Justin.” “I’ve heard the stories Gus, I know the part you played in them being the couple they are today.” “Well even a two year old had to know that the two of them needed to be together and I did what I had to do. Not that I really remember doing it. This conversation isn’t helping with the problem though. How're we going to tell Brian Kinney that he's going to be a grandfather without him having a meltdown.” “Gus you know that he won’t have a meltdown. He'll probably make some smart aleck comments but after the baby is grown and has graduated from PSU he'll finally get over the fact that we made him a grandfather and made sure everyone in the world knows that he's an old man. Once he gets to that point then he’ll speak to us again, it’ll only take him 15 to 20 years to get to that point though.” “I wish that you were just kidding.” “I was just kidding Gus. Brian'll handle being a grandfather. Justin'll make sure that he doesn’t overact too much.” “How do you think we should tell everyone? My first inclination is to wait until after the birth and have them over for lunch and introduce them to the baby.” “That'll work Gus, I just won’t be able to see anyone we or they know for the next 7 months. We’ll just have the four of them over for supper this Saturday and tell them. Brian'll be outnumbered 3 to 1 so he'll have to behave. What can he really do?” “Nothing much, never speak to us again, or have a heart attack.” “Gus you’re acting like a drama queen. Your Dad'll be happy for us and after he gets over the shock he'll plan on being the best grandfather a child could ever have.” “We have another problem as well.” “What?” “A name fit for the grandchild of Brian Shawn Kinney.” “I’ve been thinking about names ever since I took the home pregnancy test the other day. I thought of one that'll work for either a boy or a girl.” “Well don’t keep me in suspense Katherine.” “I was thinking that Taylor Kinney would be the perfect name for the first grandchild of your Dads.” “That is a perfect choice Katherine. Uncle Justin and Dad'll both love it and of course with the last name Peterson-Marcus all four of my parents will be a part of the baby‘s name. Won‘t your parents feel left out?” “Like you said they already have grandchildren, with a couple named after them, and we can always use their names for the next child.” “Another child, you really are going to push your luck with Dad.” “I seem to remember you telling me once that we would have a dozen children some day.” “I said that but I wasn’t thinking about Dad when I said it.” “One or twelve your Dad'll love any children of ours with all of his heart.” “I know, I know but it is kind of fun to worry about how he'll overreact to things. He sold his loft because I saw him and Uncle Justin having sex one night when I spent the night with them. I didn’t know what they were doing and just thought they were playing horsie. I made up a song about it and I guess it embarrassed him so much that he couldn’t stand the idea of it happening again so he started the process of selling the loft and buying their house the very next day.” “I’ve never heard that story, when did this happen? How were you able to see them?’ “I wasn’t quite 4 and I don’t remember it but I was finally told the story, more or less, a few months before you proposed to me. The loft didn‘t have any interior walls and I guess I heard noises that woke me up so when I went to protect them from the night monsters I saw them playing and then after they finished I got into bed with them to better protect them from the monsters. Anyway Dad freaked and bought the house; which as you know as plenty of interior walls.” “You were quite the precocious child weren’t you Gus?” “That's what I’ve been told. I even went dancing at Babylon when I was 9, that one I remember.” “How did you get into Babylon when you were only 9?” “Dad decided one night that he wanted to go to Babylon and dance with Uncle Justin and I was spending the weekend so he asked me if I wanted to go and of course I said yes. Babylon never had a bouncer that would say no to anyone Brian Kinney wanted to bring into the club. So I danced with Uncle Justin, Aunty Em and Dad. I loved doing anything with Dad and Uncle Justin back then. I can remember thinking, why did they like this dancing with another guy in this smoke filled place? I loved dancing with my Dads but I didn’t like Babylon at all. When I told Mom and Mama that they decided that they would let Dad live.” “That sounds like Melanie. Any other stories you’ve been keeping from me?” “Probably but I can’t think of any right this minute. Let’s keep the fact that we’ve chosen a name secret from everyone. Let them think we're too frazzled to think of a name.” “Why?” “I just remembered another story and I want to pull Dad and Uncle Justin’s chains a little bit. Mark my words; both of them'll be pulling my chain plenty in the next 7 months.” “Augustus Brian what're you up to?” “Did you ever hear the story of how I got my name?” “Justin picked it the night you were born.” “He was given the choice of Gus or Abraham. He picked Gus because he said I wouldn’t last a day at school named Abraham. Dad thought Gus was a good butch name so he okayed Uncle Justin’s choice. Mama didn’t like Gus that much which is why officially my name is Augustus. She wasn‘t thrilled with Gus but she was really upset that Dad asked his trick of the night to pick my name. Of course once she got to know Uncle Justin it didn‘t bother her so much.” “I can just see Melanie staring at Brian, with venom in her eyes, after he involved a trick in her personal life. Why did Brian even bring a trick to something so personal? “For a long time he didn’t know himself. Eventually he was able to tell himself that it was because he knew from that first night that he loved Uncle Justin. Then it took him a long time to be able to tell Uncle Justin that little fact.” “I still don’t see why you don’t want to tell the family that we’ve picked a name?” “I want to point something out to Uncle Justin. He picked my name but has always refused to let me call him by the name I wanted to call him for as long as I can remember. I once tried to call him Justin but it just didn’t sound right and I went back to Uncle Justin within a couple of days. He's never been able to give me a good reason why he won’t let me call him Papa. So I want to let him think I can’t think of a name for my child and need someone to tell me just like Dad needed him to pick out my name. I know that this doesn’t make a lot of sense but just go with the flow. You can tell your parents the name if they promise not to tell anyone here in Pittsburgh.” “You’re right Gus it doesn’t make any sense. Then again a lot of what goes on between you and Justin doesn’t make a lot of sense to the rest of the world. Sometimes I think that the two of you are on another world.” “That reminds me of a dream I had once. Uncle Justin was stolen by aliens and Dad became the leader of the world. I pretty much hated Dad because he spent all of his time trying to get Justin back. Then our son led the attack on the aliens but it turned out that Justin was the leader of the alien army. After the peace treaty was signed Dad and Justin had a romantic dance and disappeared into the night. I wonder what that dream means?” “It means you drank something you shouldn’t have. What a crazy story.” *** Driveway Peterson-Marcus home “We’re home, I’ll call and invite everyone over for supper this Saturday. We'll break the news then, maybe we should have it outside so that when Dad faints he'll fall on something soft.“ “Gus it's March the ground is frozen as hard as a rock. If you really think there's a chance that he'll faint then we will just have a floor picnic and he won’t have far to fall. Of course getting Brian Kinney to sit on the floor will be an achievement all by itself. I just don‘t see why you think Brian is going to react so poorly to this news.” “If you'd been there when he tried to tell me about the birds and the bees then you'd know why I am worried about his fainting.” “That makes even less sense than keeping the name secret.” “Dad has always been the biggest prude about sex around me. He led a Don Juan type of life before Uncle Justin and he has had a very active sex life with Uncle Justin for over 20 years, sometimes I would wonder how either of them could walk the next morning. But bring up anything sexual around me and he starts to hyperventilate. For years I had to trick them into thinking I wasn‘t looking before Dad would kiss Uncle Justin. He was afraid that if he did anything sexual with Uncle Justin in my presence that people would think he was recruiting me.” “What does that have to do with telling him that he's going to be a grandfather?” “Well when we tell him that we're having a baby he's going to have to admit to himself that the two of us have had sex at least once and that will start him hyperventilating. It's kind of fun, in a perverted sense, that my sexual life bothers him in this way. The King of Liberty Avenue, who had untold numbers of men in his day, gets lightheaded at the mere thought that his 24-year old married son actually has sex with his wife.” “I’ll believe it when I see it. I just don’t think it's possible that Brian'll be as upset at the idea of being a grandfather as you think he'll be. I really don’t believe that he'll faint at the idea of us having sex.” “We’ll see Saturday night won’t we?” “I’m cold let’s go into the house before I freeze and solve all of our problems with your Dad.” “That isn’t funny Katherine, I suppose that makes us even for today.” *** “Mom, Mama thanks for coming on such short notice. I‘m sure you had other plans for a Saturday night.” “What’s up Gus?” “What do you mean Mama?” “I mean why did you want us over here on a Saturday night?” “Couldn’t we just want to have a supper with my mothers and then watch a vid?” “While that's possible young man we both know it isn’t the reason you called and asked us to come to supper. So what’s up?” “Can we just wait until Dad and Uncle Justin get here so we can do it once?” “I knew it, just us or just the guys and it might be a simple Saturday night supper but all four of us; it has to be something big.” “Mel just give it a rest. The guys'll be here soon, Justin doesn’t let Brian be as late to events as he would like.” “Lindsay you’re taking the fun out of this little event.” “Melanie quit trying to be like Brian.” “Lindsay how could you?” “Because I know that even though you and Brian really do like each other you still will shut up if I remind you that you're acting like the Brian of old.” “Hmph!” “Mel, Lindsay why don’t the two of you go into the living room while we wait for Brian and Justin to get here. There're appetizers just waiting to be tasted. Gus made them from one of Justin‘s recipes.” “Thanks Katherine, it must be a big deal for appetizers to be part of the arsenal. Worried about Brian’s reaction to the news?” “I’m not but you know Gus and how much he worries about his Dad over reacting to pretty much anything out of the ordinary.” “Yes Gus has been worrying about Brian’s reactions for almost 25 years now. He's always been overly worried that everyone he loves has to be happy.” “I’m still in the room and my hearing is still perfect.” *** “Hi Dad, Uncle Justin. Wow the two of you are looking good. I take it you have plans for later?” “Yes Sonnyboy your Uncle Justin is taking me dancing and he insisted that I go all out because he wants to dazzle everyone at the Country Club with the beauty of his companion.” “Somehow I don’t see Uncle Justin saying something like that Dad.” “They you would be wrong Gus because it's a direct quote. Every now and then I want to show him off.” “Of course I like to be shown off, gives me a reason to wear my newest outfit. Then there's the fun of removing the outfit after we're through showing me off.” “You know Dad sometimes I think I liked it better when you hid your sexual behavior from me.” “Then you don’t want a detailed description on what I expect Sunshine is going to do to me tonight when we get home.” “Yes I want that, I want it in explicit detail down to every possible movement of every part of both of your bodies. Of course I don’t want to know what the two of you are planning to do to each other. The only thing I care about is that you love each other; how you go about telling each other that fact is your business.” “Hi Katherine have you come to rescue your husband from his father?” “No I’ve come to see what’s taking the three of you so long. Mel and Lindsay are getting impatient waiting for you to join them.” “The girls are here, that means something's up Justin.” “Why do you say that Dad?” “Because I’ve known you for almost 25 years Sonnyboy. You invite us for Saturday supper at the last moment; don’t tell us that you’ve invited your mothers as well so of course something's up. Are you still running your plans?” “I’m not running a plan, I’m not 6 years old anymore. Let’s just go into the living room and have some appetizers.” “God Sunshine it must be big if they made appetizers.” “Brian get control of yourself. It's only appetizers and Saturday supper at our son’s house it isn’t the end of the world.” “We can only hope Sunshine we can only hope.” “Hi Mel, Linds do you know what's going on. Brian thinks that the world's going to end.” “We’re in the dark as well Justin.” “I’m with Brian though, something's up.” “Melanie there's nothing up, the kids just want to have a Saturday supper with the folks and tell us what mind shattering event has occurred in their lives.” “Justin you always have such a calm way of putting things.” “I try and you have to admit that I’ve had a lot of practice considering who I live with.” “Sunshine in case you forgot I‘m in the room.” “Dad are you sure you don’t want to sit on the couch?” “Why is there something wrong with this chair?” “The couch is much softer and lower to the ground.” “Mel I think that it's going to get very interesting very soon.” “I have to agree with you Lindsay.” Katherine moves around the room giving everyone a glass of Champaign. “Everyone I would like to make a toast.” “Ok Gus what's going on?” “You'll know soon enough Dad. Katherine the next step in the plan.” “Gus you really weren’t serious about that were you?” “Yes Katherine I am, please do as we planned.” “Sorry Brian.” “Gus why's your wife putting pillows on the floor in front of me?” “It's just a precaution Dad.” “Brian, your Sonnyboy is afraid that you'll pass out once he actually gets around to making his toast.” “Justin I think we're going to have to change our plans. I think we're going to be spending the night in a mental hospital while Sonnyboy is being evaluated instead of dancing the night away at the Country Club.” “Brian just let him make his toast, I’m sure it'll make everything clear.” “Sunshine why're you giving me one of your smiles?” “Oh I don’t know, Gus get on with your toast.” “Mom, Mama, Dad, and Uncle Justin you've all been wonderful parents to me and now you have the opportunity to be wonderful grandparents. To my parents I love you all.” “Gus that's wonderful.” “Congratulations Katherine.” “When?” “What's going on here? What's that supposed to mean?” “Brian we know you're smarter than that. What's going on with you?” “I’m trying to deny the obvious what do you think Sunshine? Augustus Brian Peterson-Marcus how could you do this to me?” “See Katherine I told you. Somehow Dad I don‘t think getting my wife pregnant is doing anything to you.” “Congratulations you little scamp, when is the due date? How long does Brian have to pretend that he isn’t old enough to be a grandfather?” “I’m due in October Justin.” “Katherine have you thought about names yet? Abraham is still a family name that's available if you have a boy.” “Mama we haven’t had time to think about names yet. I’m still kind of frazzled at the idea of being a father. I’m sure glad that I had two great examples to remember when I have to actually act like a father.” “Gus you'll be a fine father.” “The baby is due in October and we haven’t even begun to think about names. Dad you're being quiet. What do you think about our news?” “Well Sonnyboy I hope you are happy?” “What do you mean Dad?” “You couldn’t keep your dick in your pants and now people are going to think that I’m old enough to be a grandfather. How could you do that to me after everything I‘ve done for you?” “Dad I’m a married man, I’ve been married for over a year and you expect me to keep my dick in my pants when I have a beautiful wife who I love with all of my heart. Have you ever kept your dick in your pants? Would you even consider keeping your dick in your pants when you have someone you love as much as you love Uncle Justin in your bed? Why did I think you would be happy for me? All you can worry about is growing old. Well the thought of being a father scares me shitless. Pardon me if I don’t worry about whether my having a child makes people think you're old enough to be a grandfather. Why're all of you looking at me with Sunshine smiles?” “Gus are you ever going to learn when Brian is pulling your chain?”