JULY 2036 Everyone was there for him yet Gus Peterson-Marcus was all alone. His Dads, Brian and Justin were there to support him. His mothers, Melanie and Lindsay were there for him. His in-laws, Robert and Maria had come from California to support him. His son Taylor was never far from his side. His brothers-in-law were there too. His aunts and uncles by blood, by marriage, and honorary had come to be with him. His cousins of all types were there also. Nephews and nieces were present. Friends were there as well. Everyone in Gus’ life was there but Gus was all alone. The most important person in his life wasn’t there. The most important person in his life was gone from his life. The most important person in his life was in a fancy box 6 feet under the ground. The most important person in his life, his wife Katherine, had left him behind. The most important person in his life had died 6 weeks after being diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. While everyone in his life was there Gus was all alone. Gus couldn’t remember the last time he'd been so alone. After the funeral everyone had gone to the hall Brian had hired for the funeral lunch. While Gus and Taylor had received condolences from everyone Gus did little more than grunt in reply. Taylor had taken the responsibility of answering for his father. Everyone had been very impressed with Taylor’s maturity during Katherine’s illness and even more so on this somber day. Gus hadn’t handled the sickness and death of Katherine nearly as well as his son had. Since the moment in time when it became clear that Katherine wasn’t going to survive Gus had lost all interest in anything besides spending time with Katherine while he could. Brian and Justin had taken Taylor to stay with them when it became clear that Gus wasn’t capable of looking after his son while dealing with the decline in the health of his wife. The morning of the funeral they had taken Taylor home to get his suit. While Taylor had gone upstairs to get the suit Brian and Justin found Gus just sitting at the dining room table in his bathrobe. “Gus why aren’t you getting ready for the funeral?” “What funeral Papa?” “Katherine’s funeral Gus.” “Katherine is making breakfast Papa.” “Gus Peterson-Marcus, you know full well that Katherine isn’t in the kitchen. This nonsense has to stop you're just hurting yourself not to mention what it's doing to Taylor. He's lost his mother he can’t afford to lose his father as well. Go get yourself cleaned up and dressed, we have to be at the funeral parlor in an hour.” “Daddy, if I believe it hard enough then she'll be in the kitchen.” “Gussy you know that isn’t going to happen. You have to be strong for Taylor. Go get ready Sonnyboy.” “Dad I’m not your little Sonnyboy that you can order around anymore.” “Then quit acting like a 3 year-old child. Taylor needs you to be strong. Today will be hard for all of us, we understand how hard it is on you but you have to get on with your life. You know Katherine wouldn’t be happy with how you're behaving.” “All right I’ll get ready but just don’t expect me to be perfect like the two of you. The most important person in my life has left me. I can‘t get past that fact. Maybe the two of you can but I can‘t. How would one of you feel if we were burying the other one?” “Gus!” “Just let him go Brian.” The ride to the funeral parlor had been very quiet. Gus was back in his funk, Brian was afraid to say anything for fear of saying the wrong thing while Justin was just hurting for the men in his life. Taylor knew that it wasn’t a time for idle talk. The funeral had gone as funerals go. Gus had held Tay’s hand so tightly that the boy wondered if he would ever feel his fingers again. Brian and Justin had stood behind and to the side of their son so that they could support him emotionally as well as physically if needed. The ride to the hall had been as quiet as the ride to the funeral parlor. As soon as everyone started seeking Gus out to offer his or her condolences Taylor had taken over. While Gus just stood there and barely acknowledged the presence of whoever was talking to him Taylor made the proper answers. He knew who everyone was, even people that he really had never met before. *** “Tay you know that you can call anytime you need to talk.” “Yes Uncle Michael, thank you.” “All of your cousins are here for you if talking to someone closer to your age would be easier for you. How old are you now?” “I’ll be eleven in October, Uncle Michael.” “Remember that any of your cousins will be there for you if you need them. Mine are probably a bit too old for you though. Vic and Tom, of course, don’t have any children but Robert’s youngest two should be close to your age.” “I’m OK Uncle Michael, Mommy and I talked about what I would have to do before she got too sick.” “That certainly sounds like my little sister.” *** “Uncle Vic, Uncle Tom it was nice of you to come all the way from Alaska.” “Tay we had to come, Katherine was my big sister after all. How're you doing sport?” “I’m fine Uncle Vic, Mommy and I cried before it was too late. I know that I'll see her again some day.” “Tay you've gotten so tall since the last time I saw you.” “I’m taller than Papa now, Granddaddy says that Daddy didn’t get that tall until he was over 14. Granddaddy says I get my height from his Kinney genes. I think the Napoli genes have something to do with it too. After all you, Uncle Michael, and Uncle Robert are all well over 6 foot tall too.” “I’m guessing that you'll be taller than your Granddaddy when you get your full height Tay.” “You think so Uncle Vic?” “Gus we're so sorry. We're going to miss Katherine so much.” “Thank you Vic.” *** “Gussy I can’t tell you how sorry I am for your loss. You know that we're all here for you. Don’t be afraid to call any of us at any time.” “Daddy knows that Aunty Em. He just doesn’t feel like talking right now.” “The same goes for you Tay, don’t be afraid to call me, Teddy or Mikey if you need anything.” “I know Aunty Em but Daddy will take care of me.” *** “Taylor would you like to come back to California with us for a few weeks before school starts?” “No Grandma, maybe next year. I have to be here for Daddy.” “Tay go to California if you want.” “Not this year Daddy.” “Whatever you want Tay.” “Gus why don’t you and Taylor plan on coming out for Christmas then.” “We’ll see Maria.” *** “Brian I’m worried about Gus, he's never been this morose. I hate to say this but he's acting more like you than me. Gus has always been able to express his emotions, why can‘t he this time?” “We'll just have to watch out for him Sunshine, Katherine was his life for 18 years. You know how we Kinneys deal with the loss of our loved ones; we go into a period of funk. Taylor though is handling himself very well.” “Do you think we should take them home with us or take them to their house?” “Whatever Gus wants is what we'll do but I think he needs to get back to his normal routine as soon as possible.” *** “Tay go tell Papa that I have to get out of here soon.” “OK Daddy, do you want to go home or to Granddaddy and Papa’s house?” “Home Tay, we have to start getting back to normal, that's what your Mommy would want.” “I know Daddy. Daddy you need to cry for Mommy, it helped me just like Mommy told me it would.” “I wish I could Tay, but I just can’t. I wish I knew why I can’t though; I’ve always been able to show my feelings. Dad could never show his feelings without working at it but I could show mine as easily as Papa does. Why can’t I cry? Go find Papa, I have to get away from this crowd.” “Daddy they're our family and they're here for us. “ “TAYLOR go get your Papa now.” *** “Papa, Daddy's ready to go home. We have to go soon before he gets mad.” “Taylor get your Daddy out to the Jeep we'll be there as soon as possible, we do have to say our good byes. Brian you go that way and I’ll go the other way and we can say them that much quicker.” “Taylor we want you to know how proud we've been of you since your mother got sick. You've handled the situation very well.” “Thank you Granddaddy but Mommy and I talked about how strong I would have to be for Daddy before she got too sick. Daddy hasn’t cried yet and I don’t think that's good for him.” “Well Taylor everyone grieves differently. Your Daddy'll have to grieve in his own way and we'll just have to be there for him. Go get him and we'll see you at the Jeep in 10 minutes.” “OK Granddaddy, I love you two.” “We love you and your Daddy.” *** “Daddy, Papa and Granddaddy'll meet us at the Jeep in 10 minutes, they have to say their good byes.” “Tay you can a learn a lot from those two fairys, no matter the situation they're the perfect hosts.” “Daddy!! They love us why're you being nasty.” “I don’t know Tay, I don’t know. I know they love us and that they would do anything they can for us. But sometimes it's hard to deal with their perfection. Especially when I’m so far from perfect.” “Come on Daddy lets get to the Jeep.” *** Taylor and Gus went to the Jeep but Taylor was the only one to respond to anything said to them as they walked through the crowd of family and friends. Everyone was amazed at how poorly Gus had handled his loss since he had always been such a mature person even when he was very young. The Pittsburgh contingent was reminded of how poorly Mikey had handled the death of his mother 7 years earlier but then everyone had expected that. No one expected Gus to have so many problems dealing with his loss. Everyone was amazed at the maturity that Taylor exercised though. *** “Gus where do you want to go?” “Home Papa, it's time Tay and I get back to a normal life. At least as close to normal as we can. We'll come and get his stuff tomorrow.” “Gus you know you can call or come over anytime you need to talk.” “Yes Papa I know that. But I have imposed on you enough the last several weeks. You two need to be alone for a while too. Katherine was an important part of your lives as well as mine.” “Gus, don’t try to be too strong. Ask for help if you need it. You have a very large family that's here for you. Take advantage of your family, they can help. They want to help.” “Don’t worry about me so much Dad.” “Gus I'll always worry about you, just like you'll always worry about Taylor, it's part of being a father.” “Don’t pay attention to me Dad, I don’t know why I’m being so negative.” “Gus you lost the love of your life, we know how that has to be tearing you up. But Gus you have to let her go and get on with your life. You know that's what Katherine would want.” “I know Papa but it's so hard. I loved her from the moment I first saw her and now she's gone. What am I going to do?” “You're going to get on with your life and raise your son. That's what Katherine would want and that's what you'll do.” “Good bye Dad, Papa, we're grateful for everything you've done for us in the past several weeks.” “Gus remember everyone in the family's here for you. Don’t be too proud to call anyone, that goes for you too Taylor.” “Don’t worry about us Granddaddy we'll be fine.” “Taylor the day I don’t worry about you or your Daddy will be the day they bury me.” *** “Tay, I just don’t feel like cooking will you call for some take-out?” “What do you want Daddy?” “I don’t care, surprise me.” *** “Tay, wake up and get dressed.” “What time is it Daddy and where're we going?” “It's 2 AM and you're going to the perfect faggots’ house.” “What's the matter Daddy, why're we going there at this time of the night?” “Just shut up and get ready, be in the car in 10 minutes or I'll just leave you here.” “Daddy what's the matter?” “Tay, I mean it get ready or stay here alone.” “Daddy what if Granddaddy and Papa aren’t home?” “They'll be home Tay, for a pair of queers, they lead a very boring life.” “Daddy, what's the matter with you? Why're you mad at Granddaddy and Papa? Why're you calling them names? They love us.” “I don’t know Tay, I just have to be by myself for a while. I know they love us but I’m tired of their perfection. Just ignore me Tay, remember that I love you, and them, but right now I just have to go away from everyone and figure out what I’m going to do with my life.” “Daddy, talk to Papa he'll know what to do. I don’t want you to leave me, I'll go with you and help you.” “Taylor Kinney Peterson-Marcus I told you I have to be alone, so get out of this car, go knock on the door and wait for the super fags to let you in. If they aren’t home, which isn’t likely, you can go sleep in my old tree house in the back yard.” “Daddy don’t do this, Mommy wouldn’t want you to be alone. Mommy would be very upset with you calling Papa and Granddaddy names.” “Well your Mommy isn’t here anymore so I don’t have to worry about what she wants anymore do I?” “Daddy, just cry that'll help you more than going off by yourself.” “Goodbye Tay, I'll see you when I can stand being around people who love me.” “Daddy!!” *** BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG “Who the fuck would be banging on our door at a quarter to three?” “Well get up and go see Brian. I‘ll bet it isn‘t a door to door salesman though.” “Always the joker aren’t you Sunshine?” “Part of why you love me, isn’t it?” BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG “Whoever it is isn’t going away. Remember to wear your robe you wouldn’t want to scare our uninvited guest by opening the door naked.” “At this hour they don’t have the right to complain about how I answer the door.” “Granddaddy you're home, I was beginning to get worried. I didn’t want to sleep in the tree house.” “Taylor what're you doing here at this time of night? JUSTIN GET UP IT'S TAYLOR. What do you mean you didn’t want to sleep in the tree house? Where's your Daddy, does he know you're here? Taylor have you run away from home? Why would you run away from home?” “Brian calm down, let the boy in and he'll answer our questions.” “Taylor why're you here?” “Daddy woke me up and told me to get dressed and in the car in ten minutes or he would leave me alone. He told me that if you weren’t home I could sleep in the tree house. He kept saying mean things about you two. He said he had to be by himself for a while. He still won’t cry for Mommy, I’m scared that he's going to do something to himself.” “Taylor, Gus would never do anything to himself. He must be hurting more than we thought for him to run away from home. Go to his old room and go to sleep, we'll figure out what to do in the morning.” “Granddaddy, I’ve never heard him use words like fag and queer before and he called you two both of them. I don’t want to lose him too.” “Don’t worry Taylor, he'll be back to normal soon. Don’t worry about what he said those are just words and we know that no matter what is making him say the words he doesn’t mean them.” “OK I’ll go to sleep then but wake me up if he comes back.” “Just go to bed Taylor we'll take care of things.” “Brian let’s go back to bed too, we can’t solve anything now. We'll call Mel and Linds first thing and have them over so we can decide as a family what to do about Gus running away from home.” “OK but I doubt that I can get back to sleep.” “All we can do is try, but we'll have to be strong for Taylor, and staying awake for the rest of the night won’t help with that task.” *** “Hi Mel, this's Justin. You and Lindsay need to come over as soon as possible. We need to talk about Gus.” “What?” “Gus ran away from home last night. It'll be easier to talk about it once you two get here, Mel.” “Ran away from home? Gus is almost 36 years old, what do you mean he ran away from home?’ “Just get over here and we'll discuss everything then. I’m going to call Vic and see if he and Tom can take care of Taylor for the day.” “OK Justin we'll be there in a half an hour.” *** “Hello.” “Tom? Is Vic there, this's Justin Taylor?” “I’ll get him, is there a problem?” “Yes but I need to ask you and Vic for a favor.” “Hello.” “Vic it's Justin.” “Hi Justin, what's the problem?” “Your brother-in-law has run away from home. Brian and I were hoping that you and Tom would be able to watch Taylor today why we try to figure out what to do about Gus. He obviously is having more problems with Katherine’s death than we thought. I’m sure that Taylor would be better off spending the day with you two and than here worrying about his Daddy.” “No problem Justin we'll be over as soon as possible. Does Tay have any favorite things to do?” “Taylor's like Gus; he'll be happy doing whatever the two of you want to do. Taylor, just like Gus, has always liked the zoo.” “OK we'll see you soon. Don’t worry too much about Gus, he's too sensible to do anything stupid.” “I would've agreed with you yesterday Vic but that was before he dumped Taylor here in the middle of the night and went off to be alone.” “Justin, Gus'll be fine. Goodbye, see you soon.” *** “Good morning Taylor, how'd you sleep?” “I’ve slept better Granddaddy. Have you heard from Daddy?” “No son, but don’t worry he'll be fine. I’ve known him all of his life and he'll be fine. He just needs to figure out why he can’t grieve for your Mommy. Once he does that he'll be home and back to normal. We just have to give him a few days.” “Taylor I called your Uncle Vic, he and Tom'll be here soon. We want you to spend the day with them. Don’t worry too much about your Daddy he'll probably be home before you get back from your day with your Uncles.” “I’ll try Papa but I’m sure I'll worry some.” “That’s OK Taylor but have fun. Send Tom and Vic back to Alaska with good memories of Pittsburgh.” “All right Papa I’ll have fun.” “Taylor would you go answer the door?” “Sure Granddaddy.” *** “Taylor how are you doing?’ “Fine Grandma Mel, I’m going to spend the day with Uncle Vic and Uncle Tom so that I’m not in the way.” “Taylor I’m sure that no one thinks you'd be in the way, they just want you to have a good day.” “I’m not stupid Grandma but I'll have a good day and I’ll make sure that Uncle Vic and Uncle Tom have good memories of Pittsburgh to take back to Alaska. There they are, I‘ll see all of you later tonight.” *** “Brian, Justin have you heard anything from Gus? By the way Taylor wasn’t fooled, he knows you were getting him out of the way. Tom and Vic pulled up while we were at the door and Taylor went ahead and left with them.” “Well I didn’t expect that I would get away with it, but as long as he has a better day, than he would have here, is the goal. How could Gus do something so stupid? Dropping a 10 year-old off in the middle of the night telling him to sleep in the treehouse if we weren’t home.” “Justin, Gus obviously is hurting more than we thought and not thinking clearly. We just have to hope that he doesn’t do anything too stupid and comes home soon. Knowing Gus as well as we do, he isn’t going to do anything he or we'll regret and he'll be home today tomorrow at the latest.” “I hope so Lindsay. Right now I don’t know whether I would hug him or spank him if he walked in the door.” “That would be something to see Sunshine. Gus is almost a foot taller than you and outweighs you by 50 pounds.” “Brian do you really think that would matter?” “No but it still would be something to see.” “Did anyone of you ever have to spank Gus when he was a boy? I know I never did, he was almost the perfect child. The few times he actually needed to be punished he did it to himself better than a spanking would've done.” “I did slap his hand once.” “Lindsay!” “Well he was about 16 months old and was going to stick a screwdriver into a socket. But that was the only time.” “I spoke harshly to him once.” “Mel you didn’t.” “He smart mouthed me and I told him off but then he got so apologetic about the whole thing that I felt worse than he did.” “Well Brian spill.” “I made him write 100 times that he wouldn’t call his mothers munchers.” “What? When was this?” “I think he was in the 3rd grade; of course while he was writing it 100 time I was writing it 500 times. He got a lot of fun out of that.” “Well that stroll down memory lane was enjoyable we still have to decide what to do today.” “Sunshine you always stay on topic.” “Well someone has to Brian. I think w're just going to have to wait him out. He'll be back within a few days but I don‘t think we can let Taylor go home with him until w're sure he's back to normal.” “Taylor'll have something to say about that Justin.” “I know Mel but we're the adults and he's the 10 year-old so he'll have to do what we tell him to do.” “Justin I would tread carefully, you don’t want him to hate you and not letting him be with his Daddy will not be what he wants.” “Lindsay I'll take that chance but I’m not taking any chances with him. Gus has abandoned him once already.” “You don’t think Sonnyboy really abandoned him do you Justin?” “I don’t know what to think Brian. The Gus we raised wouldn’t do what he did last night. I don’t know who he is. We knew that Katherine’s death was hard on him but I had no idea that it hurt him as much as it obviously has. I just hope he has gone off and gotten drunk and once he sobers up he'll come home as our old Gus. But I'll not send Taylor home with him until I'm sure that it's the old Gus. Taylor can hate me but he'll be safe.” “Should we go looking for him then?” “I don’t think so Lindsay, he'll come home on his own when he's ready. If we find him and bring him home it's more likely than not that he would just run off again. I guess that our perfect son is finally acting up; though I wish he had done back when he was a boy instead of now when he has a boy of his own he should be worrying about instead of causing the boy to worry.” “Well call whenever he shows up.” “Sure Melanie but I don’t expect him before tomorrow. If he gets back to normal he'll be so embarrassed that he'll put off coming home for that reason. He'll be guilty about Taylor so he'll be home soon enough. When he does come home it will be best Brian if you be the one to deal with him.” “Why's that Justin?” “Because I’m liable to slap him silly.” “Justin!” “I know, I know but you guys don’t know how mad I am at him. I’m not sure that I trust myself so Brian you do the talking.” “Good bye guys, things'll get back to normal soon enough. Just wait and see Justin, you know you can’t stay mad at Sonnyboy.” “I hope so Lindsay, I hope so. We'll call as soon as he gets home, even in the middle of the night.” *** “Uncle Vic, Uncle Tom I’ve had a great day and only thought about Daddy some of the time. Thank you. Do you have good memories about Pittsburgh to take back to Alaska?” “Tay I’ve always had good memories about Pittsburgh since the first time I came here to see Katherine and Aunt Deb. That's when I met your Granddaddy and Papa and found out that two Gay men could have a complete and long term loving relationship. Part of the reason Tom and I've been together so long is because of their example. But Tay I think you're getting old enough that you can just call us Vic and Tom.” “OK Vic, but I'll always think of you two as the Guncles.” “The what?” “Think about it Vic. Guncles” “Tay you've been around your Granddaddy way too much.” “He would be pleased that you think so. He's not nearly as perfect as Daddy thinks he is. Papa is pretty much perfect though. Do you guys think Daddy is going to be OK?” “Yes Tay I do. Gus is just hurting more than we thought. He fell in love with Katherine the minute he saw her all those years ago. While I’m sure he'll come home soon he might need to be shocked out of his funk.” “What do you mean Vic?” “Katherine’s death has shocked him out of his normal routines, it might just take another shock to get him back where we all want him to be, him more than any of us I’m sure. You might suggest it to your Granddaddy. Tay think about what we talked about at dinner, any time you want to visit us in Alaska just let us know and we'll set up the arrangements. You gave us more good memories about Pittsburgh today we would love to give you good memories about Fairbanks and the rest of Alaska.” “Don’t worry that I won’t take you up on that invitation. Maybe next summer I can spend some time with Grandma and Grandpa in California and then some with you two in Alaska.” “Here you are home again, tell Brian and Justin that we had a good time with you today. Our flight leaves early in the morning so until the next time we see you know that we love you and your Daddy too.” “I know Vic and I love the Guncles. Goodbye.” *** “Granddaddy, Papa I had a good time with the Guncles today, thank you for asking them to watch after me. Did you hear anything from Daddy?” “No Taylor but then I don’t expect to hear from him before tomorrow. Guncles?” “Think about it Justin.” “Oh, Taylor you little scamp. Before you say anything about being taller than me, you'll always be a little scamp to me just like your Daddy is still a little scamp to me. Why can‘t one of you Peterson-Marcus‘s take after me and be short?” “Oh Papa we all know that you're the biggest member of the family.” “Good answer Taylor. He got you with that one Sunshine.” “Vic invited me to visit with him and Tom in Alaska someday. Do you think Daddy'll let me go all the way to Fairbanks on my own?” “We'll have to see Taylor but did you give them good memories of Pittsburgh?” “Yes but Vic says he's had good memories of Pittsburgh since the first time he came here and met you two. You were an inspiration to him about how two gay men could be in a loving relationship. Why would he have worried about that?” “Times have changed Taylor, times have changed.” “What does that mean Granddaddy?” “Nothing you need to worry about Taylor, just an old man thinking about the past.” “You aren’t old Granddaddy, just experienced.” “Who told you that?” “Grandma Mel.” “Well I guess we'll give this one to Melanie.” “Brian you really have grown up.” “Sunshine I just love you and your mega watt smiles. What do you want to have for supper Taylor?” “Pizza is always fine with me Granddaddy.” *** BANG BANG BANG BANG “Who the fuck is it this time?” “Go let Gus in Brian then come back to bed.” “It's about time you came to your senses Sonnyboy.” “Fuck off you old fairy. I’m here for my son.” “Well he's asleep and we aren’t going to wake him up in the middle of the night. Go to the spare room and sleep it off.” “I’m not spending another night in this faggot haven.” “Gus what's the matter with you?” “Nothing is wrong with me I just finally realized what a deviant you are and I don’t want my son under your roof any longer.” “Brian what's taking so long? Gus why're you still standing in the door, go to the spare room and we'll figure things out in the morning.” “Shut the fuck up you little queer, I’m tired of doing anything and everything to keep the two of you happy. It's amazing what spending a day at a fucking gay bar will teach a fool like me.” “Gus what the hell is wrong, what happened today?” “What the fuck do you think Justin? I got drunk and spent the day hearing all about the famous Brian Kinney and the fucking twink that tamed the King of Liberty Avenue. Yep, I hunted up one of your old haunts. Woody‘s is quite the dump but boy did all of the old faggots there remember the good old days of Brian Kinney fucking every guy that would bend over. How many years has it been and they still remember you Dad. Hell the young ones would bend over if you were to show up and ask. What a reputation you must have had if it still is this strong over 30 years later. Hell they kept falling over me simply because I look like you. Shit I could have had my cock sucked off of my groin. I could have fucked 20 guys or been fucked even more times if I'd been interested. That's quite the reputation to have so of course I don‘t want my impressionable son in this house where he might get corrupted by your presence. Did I ever thank you Uncle Justin?” “Thank me for what?” “For taming the King of Liberty Avenue.” “What the hell is that supposed to mean Gus?” “Well Papa if you hadn’t tamed Dad he probably would've been getting into my pants as soon as there was anything worth getting into them for.” S L A P “AUGUSTUS BRIAN PETERSON-MARCUS!!! I know that you're drunk, I know that you're miserable over Katherine’s death, I know that you're mad at the universe but you know full well that whether I was in his life or not your father would've never done anything to you. If you ever say anything even remotely close to that again I don’t know what I would do. Gus you have to get out of this funk. We know that you don’t mean what you're saying but you aren’t helping Taylor by how you're acting. You have to figure out how to get back to normal for Taylor. Sooner rather than later but you have to do something. Go sleep it off and we'll talk in the morning when we're all refreshed and able to think more clearly than we can right now.” “No you little fucking faggot I’m getting my son and we're going home and we'll never see you two fucking queers ever again.” “Daddy I’m ready to go home. We don’t have to stay here with these 2 fags anymore.” “Taylor!” “Tay!” “Well Daddy that's what you've been saying. That these 2 queers are so perfect you can’t stand to be in the same room. So let’s just go home and get away from them and then you'll feel better.” “Taylor Kinney Peterson-Marcus! Don’t you remember who you were named after?” “Of course I know Daddy, I was named after these 2 effing queers but that was before you decided that you didn’t love them anymore because they are 2 effing perfect fags.” “Tay what have I done to make you think I think such horrible things. Oh God what's wrong with me?” With that Gus started sobbing and holding his hands to his face. Taylor then looked at his Papa and Granddaddy, who were just standing there in total shock and disbelief. “Papa, Granddaddy, don’t worry I know what I'm doing. I love you both just like Daddy does. We just have to make him remember it.” Taylor told them in a stage whisper. “Daddy lets go home so I won’t be corrupted by Papa and Granddaddy anymore.” “Tay you know I didn’t mean any of that. I don’t know why I said any of it. I just was trying to make someone else hurt as much as I hurt. Your mother would be so disappointed in me. Dad, Papa can you ever forgive me? How could I ever say such nasty things, you two've always been there for me no matter what. Why can’t I do the right thing by those who I love and love me the most? Oh Katherine why did you leave me? Katherine you really are gone. Katherine how can I get along without you?” “Daddy we're all here for you. Papa and Granddaddy didn’t believe what you were saying was what you believed. You need to cry some more Daddy.” Brian then pulled his Sonnyboy out of the doorway, shut the door and then hugged his son harder than he'd ever hugged him. Gus finally totally broke down and started sobbing for the loss of his wife. Justin joined his lover in holding their son. Taylor watched the men of his life get to a better place. “Tay can you forgive me for the pain I’ve caused you these last few days?” “Daddy I love you of course I forgive you. Daddy maybe we should buy a new house so that we can get away from the memories in the old house.” “Gus Taylor has a good point. But you still need to go sleep off your drunk. We can talk in the morning about everything.” “Papa you do know that I didn’t mean anything don’t you? “ “Yes Gussy I know that and we still love you, always have always will but we need to go back to bed.” *** “Mel he's here. He's a long way to go but he's started the process. See you in the morning.” “Thanks for calling Brian. Good night.” *** “Dad, Papa I truly am sorry for what I said. I can’t believe I said such nasty things. I don’t know where that came from.” “What're you talking about Sonnyboy?’ “Thanks Daddy.” “Gus, Taylor had a good point about too many memories in your house, instead of buying something new the two of you could move in with us, there certainly is enough room.” “Do you like that idea Tay?” “Sure Daddy, I love staying with Granddaddy and Papa so living here would be great.” “Justee I’m so sorry, I know I can never make up for what I said last night but I hope you can forgive me someday.” “Of course I've forgiven you but just to make sure that you understand the gravity of your comments I want you to write 100 times that you won’t call your fathers derogatory names.” “Sunshine you little scamp!!