The following is an excerpt from the Journal of Gus Peterson. After his death these journals came into the possession of his long time publisher. The publisher has decided that Mr. Peterson’s fans would enjoy these insights into his life. Mr. Peterson started keeping his journal almost as soon as he learned how to write. This is one of the very few instances where the topic is only mentioned in this particular entry. This entry is much longer than the vast majority of entries in his journal. Mr. Peterson usually dealt with topics over months, if not years. The excerpt has been edited, as limitedly as possible, to provide clarity to the reader. Friday Sept 23, 2016 Today I realized how lucky I am to have the family I have. I mean as long as I can remember I’ve known that my family isn’t the typical 2 parents and kids family, but it finally sank in how wonderful it is. No matter how odd the composition of the family is they’re all there for everyone else, well for the most part that’s true. What’s really amazing about this is that I only came into physical contact with two of them while I was figuring this out. This realization came to me as I was rushing from my school to my little brother’s rescue after I found out that he was going to be in a fight with an older boy. Craig may be short for his age, after all Justin and Daphne aren’t tall people, but he certainly isn’t short in the stupidly brave area. The first thought in my mind was how I would I explain to my Dad and Justin that I allowed Craig to get beaten up. It’s kind of funny that I’m closer to Justin and Craig is closer to Dad. Of course ever since Craig started walking I’ve had to live with everyone in the family going on and on about how much the two of us resemble Dad and Justin. One Halloween Mom and Melanie wanted to dress us up as Dad and Justin but I put my foot down and said ‘absolutely not‘, I thought Dad would swallow his tongue he was laughing so hard. Justin just sat there and smiled like the Mona Lisa. Jenny just pouted because the conversation wasn’t about her costume. Craig on the other hand thought it was a great idea; though he wanted to dress up as Dad. Then the worst thought was how I was going to explain that Craig got beaten up to protect my honor. I’m a sophomore in High School yet that stubborn little 2nd grader thinks he has to protect me. I have no doubt that some day he’ll be the first human to leave the solar system since he has that much drive to accomplish his goals. Unfortunately his goal today was to protect my honor. As much as he looks like Justin he’s Dad son through and through. Though a 10th grader being protected by a 2nd grader will fit into Dad’s perception of my sexual status. I suppose that this’ll make more sense when I read this some day in the future if I start from the beginning. Rickie and I have been dating for almost two years now and we’re finally in the same school building and we’ve been taking advantage of that fact. He’s a senior and I’m a sophomore so we don’t have any classes together and we don’t even have the same lunch period so we’ve been making out in the first floor bathroom, every afternoon after classes let out, mainly because we can. It’s really more enjoyable to wait until we get home and fool around on his or my bed [I’ve heard Dad tell Justin on more than one occasion that it’s almost always more comfortable to fuck on a bed] but it’s fun to bug the bigots by kissing each other where they can see us, I haven’t had the guts to do anything more than kiss in public though I always get hard when Rickie kisses me. I’m enough of my Dad’s son that anyone looking knows how happy I am after we’ve been making out. Anyone who objects to me and Rickie fooling around in the bathroom can’t do anything to us since Juan and John are always there too. There’s no one in the school that’s going to say or do anything to the two star tackles on the football team even if they think that they’re a pair of cocksuckers, of course just because the two of them kiss and fondle each other doesn‘t mean that they suck each other‘s cock. It was kind of amusing when some asshole called Rickie and me cock-sucking faggots and then couldn’t apologize quickly enough when Juan picked him up by his collar and asked him to repeat what he’d just said. Though to be honest the asshole was right, I really enjoy sucking Rickie’s cock; it’s just the right length and width for me to give him the maximum pleasure. Rickie has more trouble with my dick since it’s longer than average but he certainly knows how to use his tongue to bring on my orgasm. I have to admit that I got some good pointers from Emmett and Ted about sucking cock. Ted almost fainted when I asked them about fellatio lessons. Emmett just smiled that gap toothed smile of his and said, ‘you’ve come to the right homosexuals Sonny Boy. It’s always kind of neat to see the look Dad gets when Emmett calls me Sonny Boy, which is why Emmett says it in the first place. I’d heard Granny Deb’s story about Ted and Emmett giving her such lessons back in the ‘dark ages‘. Sometimes I wonder if Deb even thinks about what she’s saying in front of us kids. How many guys my age have uncles they can ask sex questions let alone a grandmother that tells sex stories about all of the men she thinks of as her sons. I imagine Dad wouldn’t be happy at all if he knew Deb told me about the first time Justin fucked him. She says she always knows when Sunshine tops Brian and that she would know if Mikey ever topped Ben. She said that last part kind of wistfully since I guess she’s given up on Mikey ever topping anyone. She knew that I had topped Rickie the first time too. It was kind of embarrassing though for her to tell everyone at the diner that I was following in my Dad’s footsteps, luckily he and Justin weren’t there. I almost turned around and left the Diner when she told everyone to look at Pittsburgh’s newest top when I walked in the door. Rickie and I’d been in the bathroom for about 8 minutes when Juan decided that he, John, and Rickie had to go to football practice, [I think Juan uses a stop watch to make that decision since every day it’s always 8 minutes after we enter the bathroom that he says it’s time for them to go to practice.] I hate it when he makes that decision since it‘s always before I‘ve come and my cock is so hard it‘s throbbing and I have to go out of the bathroom in that state and try to hide the bulge. I suppose I could jack off but I‘m not brave enough to stay in the bathroom by myself. Of course if I ever did come in during these make-out sessions I’d have to explain the mess to Mom or Melanie and I’m certainly not ready to do that. It’s kind of nice to be dating one of the starters on the football team. I don’t know who was more surprised when he made the team, Rickie or me when he tried out for it last year, but we’ve both been taking advantages of the perks that being on the team brings. [Dad would be so proud of me if he knew what I was doing.] Though Rickie did put his foot down and told me that I couldn’t sit with the girlfriends of the other guys at the games. He looked so cool when he was getting so macho. When I started laughing he knew what I was doing and he got even by tickling me until I was crying and then we kissed for at least 15 minutes and then we started fondling each other and before I knew it I was fucking him in my bedroom, at Dad‘s place, with the door wide open. Though he’d never say anything I know that it bugs Dad that my boyfriend is a jock. Of course if he knew who’s the top in our relationship he’d be less upset. Not that we aren’t versatile it’s just that I fuck Rickie more than he fucks me, not that we’ve actually done it that much since his favorite sex act is sixty-nining. [I wonder if that’s a word, I suppose I could ask Dad but I don’t want to give him a heart attack] Dad can be so hypocritical. He puts on this big show about having been the top stud of Liberty Avenue but I know that he rolled over for Justin almost every time they have had sex for years and years even when he was still reigning over Liberty Avenue. I can just imagine the look Dad would’ve given anyone who asked him if he let Sunshine top him. He’s never said anything to me but I just know that he wants me to follow in his footsteps and be the next stud of Liberty Avenue and I can’t be that if I’m a bottom. He’s never really said anything about topping and bottoming but I just know that he would prefer that I be this big macho top that fucks every boy in the school; even the straight ones. [There’s one very cute sophomore that I wouldn’t throw out of my bed if I found him there though I imagine he‘d be scared spit-less if he found himself in my bed.] I wonder what Dad would do if he thought that I was getting fucked by every boy in the school, even the straight ones? He’d probably just stare at me for a while then walk out of the room. So to be a pain I’ve been playing up his idea that I’m some total bottom simply because my first boy friend is a jock. I sit on Rickie’s lap and bat my eyelashes at him when we‘re in the same room as Dad and Justin. I feed Rickie his dessert, wiggle my butt, talk baby talk to him, and Dad just steams. The first time I did it Justin told me to be careful and to not push Dad too far with my foolishness. I don’t think I’ve ever put anything over on Justin. The day after the first time I fucked Rickie, and got fucked, [we both agreed that we should flip flop the first time] Justin asked me if it was a good as I hoped. He could tell just by looking at me that I was no longer a virgin. He’s not related to me biologically but a guy couldn’t ask for a better father. [I hunted Emmett and Ted up the next day to get some lessons about fucking ass like the blowjob lessons they gave me. Ted turned this funny shade of purple and left the room. Emmett told me he wasn‘t the best person to ask about that since he really preferred getting fucked to fucking but if I had any questions about bottoming to go right ahead and ask. He said that if I couldn‘t ask Dad or Justin about topping then I should talk to Ben.] Anyway I don’t understand why Dad acts like being a bottom is so bad; if I had to pick one, of all the members of my family, to back me up in a life or death situation it would be Emmett and he’s as swishy as they come when he puts on that persona. He also has an inner core of steel and if something needs to be done he’ll do it. Justin isn’t very far behind either in that regard not that he ever comes across as swishy in public. Dad on the other hand has a tendency to queen out in time of pressure though I’m sure that if he had to he could fight with the best of them. I wouldn’t ask Mikey to pull out a splinter for me since he’s such a wuss, I know that isn’t fair but I’ve heard too many stories of him picking on Justin for me to really trust him. I’ve never understood what Ben sees in him, I suppose he must be a good lay since they’ve been together for as long as I can remember. To be fair Mikey is an excellent grandfather. I think Hunter is the most amazing member of the family. He went from being prostituted by his mother when he was younger than I am now to a married father of two girls. Luckily Debra and Victoria look like their mother since Hunter isn’t the most handsome member of the family. I miss having Hunter around since he was always so easy to talk to about life. But Marilynn is working on her PHD at Nebraska and he’s the assistant manager of a Skeeter Barnes in Lincoln. I call him whenever I really need to talk to someone and don‘t feel comfortable talking to Dad or Justin. I barely know any of my biological cousins so it’s nice have Hunter as a pseudo cousin. [He taught me some masturbatory tricks that Rickie really appreciates.] Everyone thinks that Justin always bottoms for Dad but since I’ve been hearing them for years, for some reason Dad thinks the walls of this house are made out of solid rock instead of drywall, I know better than that. [Though if Justin were in a relationship with anyone besides Dad he would most likely be the top] Anyway it’s hard to misinterpret ‘Fuck me Sunshine’ as anything other than what it is. There was a time about 6 or 7 years ago when Dad was bottoming all of the time and he about wore Justin out too. I’ve always wondered about that situation but never had the courage to ask. I can just see a 12 year old me asking Dad why he was making Justin fuck him every night but was never returning the favor. Dad would’ve freaked and Justin would’ve pissed his pants while laughing his head off. I’m going to need an editor for this journal if I can’t keep on topic better than I’m doing. Anyway after Rickie, Juan, and John left for practice I started for home. I’d barely gotten off of the school grounds when Jenny walked up to me. Luckily my hard-on had gone down, I can just hear her telling Mom and Melanie that I get hard-ons at school. [They both still act like I’m Craig’s age and my prick has no use except to piss with so I really don‘t want them to think about what I can do with it now. I don‘t want Melanie to start in on how I‘m so much like ‘my fuck anyone that‘ll bend over father‘ once she realizes that I’ve fucked Rickie] ‘Jenny why’re you here, where’s Craig?’ ‘The Brat’s in a fight.’ ‘Jenny why do you have to call him that? What do you mean he’s in a fight?’ ‘Some new kid called you a name and Craig challenged him to a fight after school.’ ‘Why would he do that? What did this kid call me? Craig knows better than worry about what people call us.’ ‘He might know better but he still took offense to some kid calling you a fucking cock sucking faggot. Do you really suck Rickie’s cock? Isn’t that nasty, does Lindsay know you suck Rickie’s cock? Do you and Rickie do anything else that you’re too young to be doing? Does Rickie have a big cock? Does it make any difference how big a cock is when you’re sucking it?’ ‘Why didn’t you stop this fight and why’re you just getting here? What Rickie and I do is none of your business and don’t tell Mom or Melanie anything about what you think I do with Rickie.’ ‘You expect me to stop Craig from fighting a fourth grader? I got here as soon as I could, this outfit isn’t made for running.’ ‘Where were they going to have this fight, they couldn’t get away with it on the school grounds?’ ‘The park between the elementary school and my middle school is where all of the fights happen. If you run fast enough you might get there in time to take him to hospital.’ ‘Jenny why’re you such a bitch to our brother, Craig has never done anything to you? Go home and tell Mom and Melanie what’s going on. I’ll bring Craig there as soon as I can.’ ‘Gus why do you talk to me like that? I can’t help it if the Brat thinks he has to protect your honor. Do you want Mama to call Justin about this mess?’ ‘Shit no, don’t call them until I know what happened. You said it was a new kid he was going to fight, do you know who it is?’ ‘His family moved back to Pittsburgh this summer and his name is Kris Hobbs.’ ‘Hobbs? Fucking shit, how the hell am I going to explain that to Justin?’ ‘Gus you don’t have to talk to me like that. I’m going home, take the Brat to the Hospital or leave him at the park for all I care he’s nothing but a bother.’ ‘You little witch, go home and pray I don’t tell Melanie what you just said.’ ‘You don’t scare me Gus. Mama doesn’t really care about the Brat anymore than I do.’ With that last comment the little witch started off for home at a very leisurely pace. I took off for the park as fast as I could go. I was dreading what I was going to find when I go there since Craig is small for his age and doesn’t know how to fight. I wished I had time to find some of the family but it would’ve taken too long to go to Liberty Avenue and get anyone. Then I got to thinking about how I was going to tell everyone that Craig got beaten up protecting my honor. Deb will want to lead a lynch mob. I hope Carl’s able to calm her down, but since his heart attack he really doesn’t have the energy to put his foot down with her, and it takes a pretty heavy foot to stop Deb when her thunder is up. Emmett will be right with Deb and her mob while Ted and Ben will try to talk them out of doing anything rash. Mikey will just be shaking his head at the foolishness of Taylors. Dad will just look at me with one of his stares, the one I like the least. Justin will try to make me feel better about the situation. He’ll tell me that there was nothing I could do to prevent it and that of course will hurt the most. By this time in my musings I was almost to the park and I just knew that there would be an ambulance there taking Craig away to the hospital. So I was totally surprised that when I got there that there wasn’t an ambulance present but that there was no sign that a fight had even happened. Craig was sitting on top of one of the slides looking out over a crowd of 1st and 2nd graders. I just walked up and picked him off of the slide and hugged him tight. ‘Gus put me down, you’re embarrassing me.’ ‘Craig tell me what happened. Jenny said you were going to be in a fight and I expected to find you beaten to a pulp. How was I going to explain that to Dad and Justin was my worst thought. I get here and find you ruling over your court of munchkins.’ ‘Guys its over I’ll see you tomorrow at school, I have to tell Gus all the details.’ With that shouted comment the munchkins started laughing and moving away. ‘Was Jenny lying about this fight?’ ‘No there was a fight, I just won it.’ The little shit replied with a Sunshine smile to rival any smile Justin has ever given me. ‘What the fuck are you talking about? You beat a 4th grader; you don’t know how to fight. Hell I don’t know how to fight.’ ‘I know how to fight Gus, Granny Deb and Carl taught me how to fight. Well Carl showed me how to box but Deb told me how to win a fight in a hurry.’ ‘What did she tell you? You know you have to take what Deb says with a very large grain of salt.’ ‘Huh?’ ‘What did she tell you?’ ‘Kick the bastard in the balls.’ ‘You didn’t do that did you?’ ‘I didn’t have to kick him there since he ran away after I punched him in the eye and then got a roundhouse on his chin. He had a big mouth for such a coward, he thought that since he’s bigger than me he could just call you names and I wouldn’t do anything about it. You don’t have to worry about kids in this grade school calling you names anymore.’ ‘I didn’t worry about it before today so why did you worry about it. You know that we don’t have to worry about what people call us. Dad and Justin don’t let people calling them names bother them so why should you worry about it.’ ‘Gus I couldn’t let the bastard get away with calling you a cocksucker. It wasn’t so much what he said but how he said it. You’re my big brother and I’m not going to let some shit make fun of you.’ ‘Thanks Craig but promise me you’ll let me defend myself in the future.’ ‘Gus I know that you and Rickie are gay like Pop and Brian are gay but I don’t really know what that means. Pop just tells me to wait until I’m older. So will you tell me now what it means?’ ‘It simply means that I like boys instead of girls. I like kissing Rickie and he likes kissing me.’ ‘I knew that much, Pop and Brian like kissing each other but they’re very loud when they kiss each other at night in their bedroom. What does ‘Fuck me Sunshine’ mean?’ ‘I don’t know, you’ll have to ask Justin or Dad.’ ‘Gus I know when you’re lying to me but since you’re turning as red as Pop does I’ll let you off of the hook.’ ‘Thanks Craig, you‘re too young for me to tell you everything you want to know. The same thing happened to me when I was your age, nobody would tell me what I wanted to know. That’s part of growing up. Let’s go home, we have to let Melanie and Mom know that you’re ok.’ ‘Gus I have one last question and you might as well should answer it since I’ll know whether you say anything or not just by how you react to the question.’ ‘How old are you? Don’t answer I know how old you are; it’s a rhetorical question. Ask Justin what a rhetorical question is?’ ‘You’ll have to write that word down so I can ask him. Gus do you really suck Rickie’s cock? Is that a gay thing and does it mean that Pop sucks Brian’s cock and Brian sucks Pop’s cock?’ ‘That’s quite the question Craig but yes I suck Rickie’s cock and he sucks mine. You’ll have to ask Justin and Dad but I would do it when they’re not drinking anything. Does that answer bother you? Why should it bother me if you like doing it and it makes you happy then I’m happy? I love you big brother, I always have and I always will no matter what you do. I have one more question Gus.’ ‘I love you too little brother, what question?’ ‘What’s a cock?’