Justin walked quickly, looking down at the concrete sidewalk as he made his way towards the diner. He had called Daphne that morning and asked to meet somewhere, anywhere. He needed his best friend now more than ever. She told him to meet her at the diner. He had wanted to tell her ‘No, not there.’ But someone was knocking on her door and people were over in her dorm, he didn’t want to go into it over the phone. So he just agreed and hung up. Ethan had already left for class. As soon as Justin had woken up there was breakfast and a bouquet of roses waiting for him on the night table. The first thing he did was throw it all away and then called Daphne. Please don’t be late, Daph… please. He could already feel the tears forming in his eyes as he remembered last night. Thank God it’s winter, with the bruises on his arms he felt relieved that he was able to cover them with a long-sleeved sweater. Tugging at the front of his coat, he still felt cold under all the layers of clothing he was wearing. It was as if he would never be warm again. Ethan loved him. He's been so good to me and I threw it all away to be with Brian, and Brian doesn't even love me back. Justin couldn't understand how something so perfect, as he felt his relationship with Ethan was, could suddenly turn into a nightmare. Everything was just too confusing for him. He needed to talk to Daphne. There’s the diner. He swallowed hard. Praying that Brian wouldn’t be there yet. Maybe I can just wait outside near the door?… no one would see me, and once I see Daphne’s car I can just start walking towards it… “Good morning, Sunshine!” Michael teased as he came up from behind. Justin jumped Shit!! Michael frowns, “Ooh, bad conscious…” then continues to tease, “what did you do?” Justin rolls his eyes, not in the mood to deal with him. “Hello, Michael.” Debbie strides out of the diner, leaning on the doorframe, “Hey you two! Come inside, it’s freezing out there!” Michael nods, waving, “Be right there!” then to Justin, “Come on, I got some great ideas on the next Rage episode…” Justin shakes his head, “No… I can’t, I have to meet…” he voice trails off for a moment when he thinks he may see her car. It’s not her. Michael begins to pulls his arm, “At least warm up in there for a second with me…” The pain shot through Justin’s arm as Michael’s thumb presses directly on one of his many bruises, “Fuck! Don’t touch me!!” Justin jerks his arm back angrily. Michael is taken aback, “Um.. Jesus.. okay, I’m sorry… what’s your problem, anyway?” Justin narrows his eyes, “My problem is that you don’t know when to mind your fuckin’ business.” Michael is flabbergasted, “What are you talking about? Does this have to do with Brian again?” Justin wants to scream in the top of his lungs, but tries to control himself, Why does he think everything has to do with Brian?? , “Just leave me the fuck alone, Michael.” He feels a hand on his shoulder, and recognizes the touch immediately. Brian. He moves to the side, slapping Brian’s hand away, not because it hurt him but because it was Brian’s. He didn’t want to see Brian right now, much less feel him. Brian is surprised, but tries not to show it, “Any reason why we’re freezing our asses out here?” Michael frowns, “Well I’m not going to waste my time here with you, Justin, when I can be inside the diner having a hot breakfast,” and with that he turns around and walks away. Justin exhales slowly Good riddance. Brian can tell that something is wrong, “You okay?” Without even looking at Brian, Justin answers defiantly, “I’m fine and stop pretending that you fuckin’ care.” Brian stares at him, What in the hell is wrong with him today? “What did I do now to make you all pissy?” Justin finally turns to face him, seeing only the red of his anger, “The world does not revolve around you, Brian.” Brian smiles, “Sure it does. Didn’t you get the memo?” Justin isn’t amused and begins to walk away from the diner. Brian follows him. Fuck, Kinney, just let him go! Why do you care what’s wrong with him? “Justin…” “Leave me alone, Brian.” “Just wait a second, okay!” Brian reaches to grab Justin’s elbow. Justin stops, turning back around, “What?” He hated being here, with him. He was angry with Brian and with himself. Where is Daphne?! Brian looks at him, knowing that something was deeply troubling the youth, “Look, Justin… just because we don’t live together anymore doesn’t mean you can’t stop by…” Justin purses his lip in confusion, “What?” Brian tries again, “If you ever want to talk, or even just be alone for awhile… you can come by the loft anytime… you still have the key.” Justin smirks, “Oh? You didn’t change the locks?” Brian shakes his head, softly answering, “No.” Why is he being so difficult? Justin doesn’t say anything. “Justin, you know you can still come and talk to me about anything that’s bothering you…okay?” Justin nods, looking out into the road. His eyes had begun to water again and he refused to let Brian see him cry. Brian can tell however. He follows Justin’s eyes to the street, “Who are you waiting for?” Justin finds his voice, “Daphne.” Brian nods. Good. He obviously needs to talk to someone about something. He continues to stand there. He wasn’t sure why, but he needed to make sure that Justin was safe: that Daphne would show up and Justin would go into her car and everything would be okay. Finally Justin spots her Corolla turning into the road, “She’s here… I gotta go.” Brian nods, “Just remember what I said, Justin.” Justin turns to look at Brian. He can tell that he’s being sincere. Why is he being sincere all of the sudden? Is he just feeling sorry for me?.. shit, Justin, stop acting like a twat and just thank him and get in the damn car. He nods and opens the passenger side door, getting inside Daphne’s car. Brian waves at Daphne, who smiles and waves back, he can tell that she was confused about what was going on. Brian felt the same way. Something was definitely wrong. Justin turns to Daphne and states, "I don't want to talk here. Is your roomate in class?" She nods, "Yeah, I'll drive us to my dorm then."

Sitting on the bed, she begins “Okay, Justin. You didn’t a say a word in the car, what gives?” They had the dorm room to themselves. Justin swallows hard, staring at his coat that he threw on her chair. Slowly he sits down on the bed with her. A tear finally makes it way out and down his cheek. He didn’t know where to begin. Nothing made sense to him anymore. Daphne asks, “Did you and Ethan get in a fight?” He nods, looking down again. Suddenly he felt embarrassed. He didn’t want her to know. But how could he hide this from her? Daphne was his best friend. They still kept their friendship bracelets tied to each other’s schoolbag strap. She wouldn’t judge him, would she? No… she couldn’t. Not after everything they have gone through together. She can tell this is hard for him, “What happened?” He whispers, refusing to meet her gaze, “I lied…” She strains to hear him, “About what? What happened?” He bites his lower lip, remembering the pain from last night. “He… he hit me…” Daphne’s mouth drops, “He what?!” Justin slowly looks up at her face. Another tear slid down his cheek, “He hit me…I.. I thought he was going to…I thought he was going to rape me…” Daphne can’t believe what she’s hearing. How did this happen? When did this happen? She was completely stunned. “Oh my God, Justin…” she pulls him into a hug, and he easily falls into her arms, sobbing, “I lied… he found out that I lied and he was..he was so mad… I was with Brian… we.. we kissed… he didn’t.. he didn’t see that… but he knew I… that I lied.. he was so mad…. He was so mad…. Daph, he was so mad at me…” She continues to hug him, wanting to find Ethan and beat him into a bloody pulp. “Justin, look at me..” Slowly he sits up, looking at her. “Justin, you know that it wasn’t your fault.” Justin feels more tears starting to form, “But I lied! I’ve been taking him for grant--” “No you have not.” She states firmly, “That is probably what he is trying to make you believe. But Justin, he knew what he was getting himself into when he asked you to move in with him. He knew you still weren’t over Brian. And it doesn’t matter if you lied or not, Justin. No one deserves to be hit or think that they are going to be raped because they told a little lie!” Justin shakes his head, “But you should have seen him… and then… and then he started to cry…” She shakes her head, infuriated with Ethan, “I’m sure he did, the sick fuck.” Justin shakes his head, “No, it’s not like that… he told me… he told me that I was his madness… Daphne, I’m his madness! … I’m turning him into this…he was never like this before, this is my fault!” Daphne shakes her head, “Justin, this is not your fault.” He disagrees, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. She takes a deep breath, “Okay, Justin, start from the beginning.” He looks at her, laughing feebly, This might take awhile…

(memory) The fire reflected in his dark eyes. Brian breathed in his name, “Ahmed.” He was unlike anyone he had ever seen. It had been two days and finally he had told Brian his name. Brian let it roll off his tongue. It was beautiful. He was beautiful. And under the pale moon, with the bonfires rising above him, Ahmed, to Brian, was as if he had just stepped out of another world and into this one, just for him.

Brian felt the pain in his heart as he remembered how much Ahmed hurt him. I trusted him, more than anyone.. I told him things that I never told to anyone... and haven't since. He had learned his lesson. You let someone in like that and once they leave... they take something with you that you can never get back. He refused to let Justin take that. He had closed his heart and had taught himself to live without it. It was better that way. Love isn't for me. But for awhile, just a little while, Justin made him forget. I was ready to give him everything I was But that wasn't enough for Justin, or maybe it was just not fast enough; not with Mel and Lindsay, Ben and Mikey... not to mention all the couples Justin must have seen throwing their affection in his face. And then along came Ethan. Brian wanted to spit when he thought of that meddling fiddler. Ethan with his words, saying all the things that Justin wanted to hear and Brian wouldn't say. Shaking his head, Brian knew it was better this way. He just needed Justin to realize it too. Well if you stop kissing the brat then maybe he'll get the idea, Kinney! Yes, he needed to get as far away from Justin as he possibly could.

Daphne handed him a tissue. She had forced herself not to cry as Justin was telling her what happened last night, but it was getting harder and harder to keep her tears from falling as she listened to her best friend. Justin sighs, looking down at his hands, tightening them into a fist around the tissue she had just given to him. "And that's when I called you..." Daphne exhales slowly, "Fuck..." He nods, he didn't have much else to say either. Looking out her window he tries to change the subject, "You have a nice view of the park." Daphne shakes her head, "What a jerk." Justin swallows hard, trying to make sense of everything, "He wasn't always like that.. it was only last night." She frowns, "Who the hell cares if he wasn't always like that? He's like that now!" Justin isn't sure why he's defending him, but suddenly he finds that that is what he's doing, "But this was the only time!... I..." he doesn't know why he's arguing, "I don't know... Daph... he loved me.. and he still loves me..." She shakes her head again, "Justin, his love is sick." He purses his lips, "Oh and what do you know about love?" She narrows her eyes at him, "I know enough about love to know that someone who loves you won't turn you into a human punching bag." Justin is quiet. He knew she was right. He knew everything she was saying made perfect sense. But for some reason it was just too hard for him to accept. She sighs, "Come on..." He's surprised, "Where?" She begins to stand up, "We are getting your stuff out of that apartment and you are going to stay here with me." Justin stands up, facing her, "No!.. Daphne, come on... no.." She crosses her arms, "Why not?! The RA won't care..." He shakes his head, "No... Daphne, please.. let me just figure this out on my own for a bit...I need.. I need to talk to Ethan. I can't just pack my bags while he's in class and leave without a word!" She scoffs, "And why the hell not?" He runs his fingers through his hair, Why? Maybe because I'm sick of alwaying needing to ask for help?.. maybe because Ethan is the only one who has been honest with me?... maybe because he loves me, and only me? "I just need to talk to him first... we need to talk about what happened." She shakes her head, "And if he tries to manipulate you? Let me go with you." "No!" That will only make it worse! "Daph, please... let me handle this, okay? I won't let him manipulate me. We're just going to have to get some things out in the open...if it seems like a losing battle, then I'll leave." Daphne doesn't like this idea at all, "And if he hit you again?" Justin's eyes widen, Why does she think he'll hit me again?! "He won't!" She presses, "And if he does?" He exhales, "Then I'll leave, Daphne.. duh!" She nods, still not convinced. After a few seconds of silence she asks, "Does Brian know?" He gasps, "Fuck no! And you're not going to tell him either!" She is silent for a moment, causing Justin anxiety, "Daphne! Promise me you won't tell him anything!!" She nods, "Fine! Fine! I promise, Justin... but don't make me regret this." He smiles, relieved, "You won't. I promise... I just need to talk to Ethan, let him know that I am not going to take this and..." She finishes for him, "And that you're moving out." He frowns, "No! I won't say that... not yet.. fuck, I'm so confused..." "Which is why you shouldn't go back to him!" Frustrated, he cries, "I can't just leave without a word! He has to know why, Daphne!" She gives him one of her sarcastic laughs, "Oh, right, I'm sure he'll be clueless on that one." He shakes his head, "Ethan isn't like that... he's.. he's very sensitive..." "Right." He nods, knowing she meant it as a joke, but continues, "I need to talk to him first... before I make any decisions." She sighs, "Fine. But promise me you'll be safe, and you'll hold your ground... and--" He forces a smile, feeling tired from their discussion, "I promise, Daphne."