Love’s Long Journey
Chapter 5
Sitting atop his sleek, chocolate-brown stallion, Emperor, on the gentle sloping landscape that surrounded the ranch, Brian took a few minutes to admire the fiery shades of the morning sunrise as it crept its way into the sky and signaled a day of sweltering heat and dust. This was one of his favorite times the of day; just before the ranch hands and the kids started bustling about. As much as he loved being around the kids and the hands, he enjoyed the solitude and the quiet time of reflection the early morning hours allowed.
He knew his heart was slowly beginning to heal from the loss of his partner, Christian. The ache wasn’t as intense when he thought of him and his eyes didn’t fill with unshed tears as often as they use to. Although, there were many times that he wished HE were here to share in what he accomplished, and how far he had come, deep down Brian knew that if he were here he would be very proud of him. Still, there were many times he wished he had someone to share his thoughts and concerns with or just be able to get some advise from. Someone to chase away his fears and reassure him that what he was doing was a good thing. There were also the times he missed having someone to share his bed and his life with. Logically, he knew that in some small way he was helping the kids even if it was only for the short time they were at the ranch. That, for the length of their stay, they were someplace safe and they were cared for. However, it would still be comforting to hear from someone who loved him that he was doing a good thing.
Brian often thought it was strange how he had sought out approval from Christian; hell, he had never needed it from anyone before. Until he met him, he never felt it was important if anyone approved of what he did, except for Gus and Lindsay. Other than those two, he could have given a shit whether anyone approved or not; it just wasn’t important to him. He had always done what he felt was right for him, Gus, and Lindsay and to hell with what anyone else thought. Once Christian became a significant part of his life, however, he often felt that he needed his approval even though he was reassured by his partner that he didn’t. It became important to Brian because he couldn’t stand it if he saw disappointment reflected in the eyes of the man he loved.
As he took in the wide stretch of gentle rolling hills, covered with a blanket of green and dotted with grazing horses and cattle, Brian couldn’t help but feel his chest expand with pride. It was a nice feeling, but he still wished he had someone special to share it with.
Closing his eyes, he leaned his head back and faced the sky and felt a gentle breeze kiss his cheek and the soft echoing whisper of I love you. Slowly, he opened his eyes and whispered back, “I love you too…always have…always will.
The rattling old pick up truck bumping along the uneven ground and kicking up a huge cloud of dust brought Brian out of his reverie. Today was the day that the photojournalist was suppose to arrive at the ranch. Some magazine, whose name he couldn’t recall, had contacted him after learning about the ranch and the kids saying that wanted to do a story accompanied by photos. Brian had adamantly denied the request on the grounds that it was an invasion of privacy; both his and the children. The ranch was a safe haven for kids, who came to him through a variety of agencies. It was a place for them to heal and to escape, for awhile, the emotional or physical abuse they suffered at the hands of some parent or guardian. It was also a place where they were allowed to just be kids. Here it was okay to roll around in the dirt and have a good time, but most important of all it was a place where they knew that they were loved, despite what they had been told by other.
When he had decided what he wanted to do with the ranch, he talked with a number of experts in the field and formulated a plan. He hired a counselor who specialized in abused children and he kept a local doctor on call in case of emergencies. Most importantly, the people he hired were required to be gentle, loving and caring souls who liked working with children. It was okay to be firm, but he made it very clear to everyone he hired that no one, and he meant no one, would raise a hand or their voice to any child for any reason or he would fire them on the spot.
Interviewing and hiring the staff had been the most daunting part of getting the Winged C Ranch off the ground, but in the end he was satisfied with everyone who had been hired.
He decided to keep the long time ranch foreman, Charlie Cordell, to help him oversee the running of place, even if at first, he had been reluctant. Charlie, however, had convinced him that he should. He thought the old-timer wouldn’t be able to adapt to having a bunch of kids running around and turning a basically smooth running outfit into some chaotic playground, but the man told him a story of his own childhood which sent shivers down Brian’s spine. He began the story by rolling up his pant leg and what he showed Brian made him physically ill. The skin that covered the leg was a mass of scar tissue from having boiling water poured on him when his father had been in a fit of rage over an assigned chore he had forgotten to do. It had taken him months to heal and there had been a time that the doctors had their doubts that he ever would. When infection had set in putting his life in danger they thought they might have to amputate the leg. Charlie always believed it was divine intervention that had allowed him to make it through the pain and eventually brought him to the ranch. It was Sam Buchanan who had taken him under his wing and gave him a new life. Sam had given him his first job; mucking out the stalls. It wasn’t the most fun job on the ranch, but it slowly gave him a sense of pride that came from doing the job well.
Brian sat listening and assessing the man sitting across of him. He had skin aged like soft, supple leather from years of being outdoors, but what he saw in the depths of his brown eyes was a man of integrity who possessed a loving soul. He had known immediately that his decision to keep Charlie was the right one, and that the ranch and all of the children would be in good hands. Charlie had gone on to mention how he and his wife, Sarah, had always wanted children, but had come to accept that God had something else in mind for them.
Brian had not realized that Charlie had a wife and when he was told a thought came to mind.
“Charlie, can Sarah cook?”
“Mr. Kinney, sure you’re joshing me. She’s the best damn cook in the county. Why’d ya ask?”
“Well, I was thinking maybe she’d like a job here at the ranch also. We’re going to need someone who’s a good cook and who will be willing to put out lots of nutritious meals. Someone who has the love and patience to deal with the kids.”
“Mr. Kinney, ya got to be kidding me. You’re willing to give my Sarah a job? “
“Yes, if she wants one.”
“By God, I think this is what the man upstairs had in mind for us. We’ll not have just one or two kids, we’ll have a whole damn bushel of ‘um. Wait till I tell Sarah ‘bout it. She’s gonna just be thrilled to death. Thanks a whole lot, Mr. Kinney.” Charlie smiled, grabbed Brian’s hand, and shook it vigorously.
“I should be thanking you Charlie, and, please, I would be honored if you would call me Brian,” he replied and smiled broadly at the enthusiastic man. That had proven too much for the old man but he did settle on “Mr. Brian.”
The honking of the horn brought Brian back to the present. It took a lot of convincing on Charlie and Sarah’s part to allow the magazine to do the article. They said it would be a good thing for the ranch because the article would let people know there was someplace like the Winged C for the special kids. It could also bring in donations to help them keep it running. Reluctantly he agreed that the benefits outweighed his concerns, even though money was not an object for him. Between what Christian had left him and his royalties from his ad agency he had more than enough to sustain the ranch for a long time. Before he agreed, however, there were a few concessions he felt needed to be made before he would allow them to do it. One being was that he would have the right to review everything before it was printed and he could reject anything that he felt didn’t reflect favorably on the ranch. A second thing was that nothing personal would be said about the owner as he didn’t want any sort of notoriety for what he did. He didn’t do it for praise, or because he wanted to be a saint. It was simply his way of returning a special gift that had been given him by someone extraordinary and that was…love.
With a gentle slap of the reins, Brian gave the Emperor a nudge and slowly they made their way down the sloping hills back to the ranch. As they came up alongside the truck, he reined in the big horse.
The startled blond whipped his head around in the direction of the sound he heard coming from a horse as it whinnied and snorted. He had been so engrossed in the raw beauty of the surrounding area he hadn’t been paying attention to the arrival of the man on horseback.
Justin wanted to immediately grab his camera and start taking pictures so he could preserve the graceful beauty of the gorgeous man sitting astride a powerful beast. His eyes remained glued to the man on the horse as he watched in awe at the gracefulness in which he got off the animal.
His artist’s eye took in a man dressed casually in a denim shirt that hugged his torso just enough to display his well-defined chest and slender build. He watched as he gracefully slid off the saddle, and the fluid movement kept the attention of the blond-haired guest riveted as he dismounted the powerful animal. He knew that when he had the time he had to capture the contradiction of graceful beauty and raw power that existed between man and animal, and commit it to canvass.
Brian gently led the horse and walked up to the two men. Removing his leather gloves, he slapped them against his jean-clad thigh to shake of the dust and dirt from his morning ride.
His intense hazel eyes sparkled with flecks of gold from the sunlight and a tongue in cheek smirk played on his face as he gave the once over to the blond with the gaping stare.
Justin was just standing there taking in the scene before him and did not realize he was staring until he heard the deep, raspy voice that hinted of Charlie’s laughter as he made the introductions.
“Justin Taylor, I’d like you to meet the owner of the “Winged C”, Mr. Brian Kinney,” the older man said.
“Mr. Taylor, it’s nice to meet you,” Brian replied, extending his hand.
It took Justin a second before he realized that someone was speaking to him. Heat colored his pale skin as he blushed furiously and stammered, “Oh…ah…it’s nice to meet you Mr. Kinney. I’m Justin…Justin Taylor,” he nervously grasped the extended hand and held it a moment longer that necessary.
“Well Justin…Justin Taylor,” Brian repeated as he felt a soothing warmth emanate from the smaller hand he held captured in his larger one. “I think we established who you are,” he laughed making the specks of gold in his hazel eyes sparkle even brighter.
“Right. I’m sorry. You caught me off guard. I was admiring you…I mean your ranch,” blushing all over again, Justin smiled and stopped talking.
He couldn’t believe he was acting like a schoolgirl. It’s not as if he’d never met a gorgeous man before, but there was something in those eyes that seemed to look into the very depth of his soul. They reflected a sort of sadness, yet they also hinted of pride and loyalty, but most of all, they revealed a loving nature in the man. For some reason Justin sensed that the loving part was deeply buried for some reason and reserved for a very special few. Being an artist, he had been taught to observe people and their surroundings. He believed strongly in the old cliché, The eyes are the windows of the soul, and it came to mind as he wondered about the man behind the marvelous eyes.
Brian breathed in deeply as he took in the blond’s appearance; one that literally took his breath away. He could feel his heart beating a little faster. He really had no expectations about who the magazine was sending, but he didn’t expect anyone who would arouse such a conflict of feelings. Silhouetted against the morning sun, his blond hair cast an ethereal glow and the blueness of his eyes deepened into a richness found only in the best sapphires. A small smile played on his lips as the ad man in him took over and he imagined Justin portraying himself as a heavenly being. Giving himself a mental shake Brian thought to that too much dirt and dust had seeped into his brain; the scene was getting too trite… especially for him.
He became a little uncomfortable under the gentle scrutiny of the piercing blue eyes. It was as if he was stripping him raw and naked, and reading into his soul. Brian gently dislodged his hand and cleared his throat before saying huskily, “Please call me Brian. We don’t stand on formality here. ”
It had been a while since Brian had been with anyone, largely because he really had no desire, and the odd time or two that he did make it into town, he had felt uncomfortable. Anonymous sex held no appeal to him not after having been with Christian for so long, and he felt that the act made him disloyal in some way. Besides, with getting the ranch going and trying to get things settled, there hadn’t been much time at the end of the day to make the long trip into the nearest town, so he settled for a lot of time in the shower.
There were times when the long, lonely nights seemed to stretch on forever and he couldn’t wait until morning arrived. He longed for the day’s activities to begin so that his mind would be distracted from how much he missed Christian and Gus, how lonely he was. Some nights he even slept on the sofa after finding it hard to be in bed by himself. How ironic, he thought. There had been a time that he never allowed anyone to stay overnight in his bed. The only time he wanted anyone was just long enough to fuck him and get off. That had been the way it was until Christian came into his life. After that, having Chris beside him in bed became as necessary as breathing.
The two younger men broke their gaze and dropped their hands as a gentle clearing of Charlie’s throat interrupted, “Excuse me, Mr. Brian,” he said. “If you don’t mind, I’ll show Mr. Taylor where he’ll be bunkin’ during his stay.”
“Good idea, Charlie. I think Sarah prepared one of the spare rooms in the main house for Mr. Taylor.”
“You didn’t have to do anything special for me,” Justin stated. “Staying with the staff or the kids would be just fine. I don’t want to intrude on your privacy,” he looked pointedly over at Brian.
Chuckling Brian said, “Believe me Justin, you don’t want to stay with the staff and kids unless you want to be up at the crack of dawn.”
“Well, in that case, I accept your hospitality,” Justin smiled warmly. “I’m not exactly an earlier riser,” he admitted and then laughed. “I’ve been told by more than a few that I’m not much of a morning person either.”
Brian quirked an eyebrow, “Hmmm, a few…huh?”
Blushing furiously, the blond stammered, “I didn’t mean…..” He snapped his mouth shut before he went any further, not wanting to embarrass himself anymore than he already had.
“Com’on, Mr. Taylor, follow me and I’ll take you over and get you settled. I’ll also take you to meet my Sarah.”
“Ah thanks, Charlie, I appreciate it. So who’s Sarah?” Justin asked as he trailed behind.
“She’s my wife. Mr. Brian hired her to be the cook for this here ranch. She’s got a couple of people working for her and she oversees the running of the main kitchen. It was the best gawd darn thing that ever happened to us when he hired her. She couldn’t be happier working around all these kids.”
“So you like working here…with all the kids?”
“Sure do. It’s the best damn job I ever had. Like I told Mr. Brian when he decided to keep me on…well…me and Sarah, we couldn’t have kids of our own and we always wanted some and now we have a whole passel of ‘em,” Charlie smiled, the lines around his eyes crinkling.
“You’ve been working with Mr. Kinney for a while then?”
“Yep, ever since he took over the ranch. I’ve been here since I was a young’un. I use ta work for Mr. Buchanan; he was the owner ‘til he turned over the place to Mr. Brian. I was lucky to be able to convince him to keep me on. Mr. Brian had some reservations about keeping an ‘ol cowhand like me around and working with children. The man has some definite ideas about the types of people he wants around his kids. He has two rules…you break ‘um and you’re gone.”
“Can I ask you what those rules are, Charlie?”
“Sure can. First rule is never raise a hand to a child and second never raise your voice in anger. Them’s pretty simple rules, but Mr. Brian is firm about ‘em. I’ve seen him fire a man so fast he didn’t know what hit’em. Gotta admit though, it’s not like the man didn’t deserve it,” Charlie gave him a wry smile. “What he did set us back a bit with the kid and it took a while before the boy began to trust us again. You know trust is a big issue with the kids and we have to work really hard to gain and keep it. So when some asshole sets things back he deserves to have his ass fired,” the old man stated adamantly.
“You’re a good man, Charlie Cordell.” Justin smiled at the older man and noticed that he flushed with pride.
“Awww, Mr. Justin. It’s not hard. Most everybody has good in ‘em. It just takes someone or something special to bring it out. Me…it’s my Sarah.”
Stepping up on to the wrap around porch, Charlie opened the front door and allowed Justin to precede him inside.
As they entered, Justin immediately fell in love with the place. The room was one large area with a fireplace place made out of smooth river rock in varying shades of earth tones, that stretched to a vaulted ceiling. There was a rough- hewn wooden beam mantle that sat squarely balanced in the center. Two overstuffed leather chairs flanked either side of the fireplace with a nice fur rug between them. An entertainment unit and various other pieces of furniture finished off the room giving a warm and homey feel to it.
In some ways the décor suited the owner perfectly, but Justin could also imagine the man in some sleek, pricey Park Avenue address high atop the bustling streets of Manhattan. The magazine hadn’t given him much of a background on Brian, but he was able to find out more, thanks to the Internet. What he learned was only a brief amount and he hoped, when they met, to learn more. The man was definitely an enigma.
Justin walked over to the huge fireplace and ran his hand along the smooth surface. He could just imagine a wood fire burning inside on a cold winter’s night and being cuddled up next to someone you love.
Riiiight…Justin thought to himself. Like that is ever going to happen. He was shaken out of his daydreaming when he heard Charlie’s voice.
“Sarah Honey, where are you? I’ve got Mr. Brian’s houseguest.”
“I’m in the kitchen, Charlie. Where else do you think I’d be?” her laughter sounded from the inside another room.
Justin turned toward the laughter as a small, petite woman entered the room. Her warm honey-colored hair was pulled back, to accent her delicate features and eyes that sparkled with love and life. He could tell she had a fiercely protective nature, and her fine features belied her age making her appear much younger than even his own mother.
“Honey, I’d like you to meet Justin Taylor. Mr. Taylor this here is my wife Sarah,”
Wiping her hands on her apron she said, “Hi, Mr. Taylor, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too, Sarah, but please call me Justin; otherwise I’ll start looking over my shoulder and expecting my dad to show up somewhere,” Justin smiled as he took hold of the small hand. He was surprised at how firm her grasp was and realized how deceiving looks can be. He immediately sensed a kind and gentle person but also one who wouldn’t take nonsense from a soul. He knew she was the type who would stand up to for what she believed in, defend those she cared for, and never back down from a fight; like a lioness protecting her cubs.
“Charlie, why don’t you take the young man’s things up to the room I’ve prepared for him? In the meantime, I’ll take him to the kitchen and feed him. When he’s done, I’ll send him out and you can show him around and introduce the kids.”
”Yes, Dear,” Charlie smiled at his wife and gave a mock salute. He picked up the bags as he heard the gentle reprimand echoing below.
“Charlie Cordell, don’t you be sassin’ me now.” Her tinkling laughter floated up the stairs.
Justin smiled at the exchange between husband and wife and hoped that someday he’d find someone special to share his life with. As much as he enjoyed traveling, he knew the day would come when he wanted to settle down and be able to focus on his painting. That was his passion; it expressed his heart and soul.
He followed Sarah into a warm, homey kitchen and sat down on one of the stools on the end of a large butcher block island. Justin closed his eyes and inhaled deeply enjoying the smell of freshly baked cinnamon bread that was reminiscent of vacations spent with his grandparents. His grandmother had always been busy in the kitchen baking something or another of his favorite goodies and he longed to be the young boy again who spent time helping. She taught him the finer points of making a good chocolate chip cookie and the proper way to knead bread dough.
“Mr. Justin, are you okay?” Sarah asked as she noticed the faraway look in his eyes.
“Oh, yes ma’am I’m fine. I was just thinking of my grandmother. Being in your kitchen brought back memories of the vacations I spent with her. She loved to bake and cook, and was always willing to teach me how to do things. I learned a lot from her and I think she was the one who instilled my love for cooking.”
“You enjoy cooking? I think it’s great that a man loves to work in the kitchen. Now you take my Charlie. The only time I can get him in the kitchen is to eat,” Sarah chuckled softly. “If I wasn’t around, I think he’d starve to death. The only thing he can do is open up a can of soup or beans, and he’d probably burn those heatin’ ‘em up,” she laughed openly.
Justin joined in her laughter and noted how much this couple relied on one another. Not just for the every day things in life, but what appeared to be a truly loving support they gave to each other freely.
“As a matter of fact, I love to cook. I just don’t get to do it as often as I’d like. Being on the road as much as I am, I usually end up ordering room service or eating in restaurants. After a while it gets pretty old, so when I’m home I enjoy making my own meals.”
Sarah placed a couple of warm slices of cinnamon bread and a glass of cold milk in front of Justin then pulled up a stool with her cup of coffee and sat at the island with him.
Justin broke off a piece of the warm bread and slathered it with some butter and plopped it into his mouth. He chewed slowly, enjoying the spicy taste of the cinnamon mixed with sugar and a smile washed over him as he savored the delicious bread.
“This is great, Sarah. I haven’t tasted bread this good in a long while,” he praised and watched as her cheeks flushed red from the compliment.
“Thank you, Mr. Justin. I’m glad you’re enjoying it,” she spoke softly.
“I sure am,” he replied as he broke off another piece.
A silence engulfed the room before Sarah broke the quietness. “Mr. Justin mind if we chat while you eat? I don’t want to bother you if you’d rather be left alone.”
“I’d love to talk. It’s not often, in fact it’s very rare, that I ever get an assignment that doesn’t have me running after someone or something.”
“Where are you from?”
“Originally, from Pittsburgh, but I live full-time in New York City now. I was told once that if I ever expected to make it big in the art world, I’d have to do it in New York, so after I finished art school I packed my bags and headed for the big city,” he chuckled despite the sadness that misted over his features.
Sarah had noticed the slight change when he made that comment and wondered what might have happened.
“Do you still have family living in Pittsburgh?”
“As a matter of fact, my mother and sister live there,” he smiled softly as he thought of his family. He thought it was about time for a visit, as it had been about six months since he’d been home and he missed them terribly. He usually tried to stop over either on his way to or from one of his assignments with the magazine, but his schedule had been a bit hectic lately and he hadn’t been able to find the time. He hoped on his way back from Montana he could take a few days to stop for a visit.
“You must miss them a lot,” Sarah said as she noticed a look of longing come over him as he mentioned his mother and sister.
“Yes, I do. I try to stop over ever couple of months, but it’s been more than six since I’ve seen them. My work has kept me busy, but I’m hoping to stop after I’m done with this assignment.”
“What about your father?” she asked
“Well…I don’t have any contact with my father.”
“Oh?” Sarah was curious as to what went on between the young man and his father but didn’t feel it was right to ask such a personal question. She did see a hint of sadness cloud his eyes, but yet there was also something akin to hatred too, which confused and startled her. She watched the flood of emotions go through him as if he was recalling memories.
“Yeah, my dad doesn’t much care for what he calls my disgusting lifestyle. He says I’m an abomination and refuses to acknowledge he even has a son,” he stated matter of factly.
He had been toying with his slice of bread, when he heard a small gasp from the woman sitting across of him. He noticed her hand had flown to her chest and her eyes were as round as silver dollars when he made the comment.
“Why on earth would any father think that of his child,” she asked, then realized that maybe it was too personal of a question to ask. “I’m sorry, it’s none of my business.”
“That’s okay, I don’t mind telling you. Although, I’m not too sure you won’t agree with him.”
“Lord, I don’t think I could ever think that of my own child even if he were a mass murder. He’d still be my child.”
“Well, you’re one special lady, Sarah.”
“Your mom must be one too. You seem to have a special relationship with her.”
“Yes, my mom is very special. If it wasn’t for her I don’t know where I would be today. When I was seventeen I told my folks I was gay,” he paused and looked at Sarah to see if she agreed with his father. As he looked at her all he saw reflected in her eyes was kindness and affection so he continued. “My father went ballistic. He told me he would not have a faggot for a son and accused me of being a pervert. I was called an abomination and told that it wasn’t right for men to be with other men…it was unnatural. He said that if I didn’t change my ways he wouldn’t allow me to live under his roof. I tried to explain to him it wasn’t something I could just change; it was who I was and that I saw nothing wrong with me wanting be with another man and wanting to be loved by one. You should have seen the look on his face when I said that.” Justin paused and reflected, “I thought he was going to explode. His face got so red, he could barely speak and at one point I think he actually wanted to wrap his hands around my neck and strangle me until my mother stepped in and tried to defend me. Then he got angry at her and said that if she sided with me she could leave too. She couldn’t believe what he had said; they had been married for twenty years and just like that he was willing to throw it all away. She was devastated and she tried to reason with him, but he wouldn’t listen to her. She thought of sending me to live with my grandparents until I graduated, but the more she thought about things, the more she realized he wasn’t the man she thought he was. How could a man throw his own son out just because he loved differently? So, while she made arrangements I stayed with my best friend, Daphne and her family. It got really ugly between my parents. At first my dad tried to reason with her and have her stay, and when she refused he threatened to take my sister away from her. We were lucky because once my mom told my grandparents what had happened and they stepped in to help us. It was awful and I blame myself for my parents divorce, even though my mom insists it wasn’t my fault at all. She said my dad is a homophobic, hateful human being and she actually feels sorry for him. I think it’s mostly because he missed out so much in our lives. Like she says, it’s his loss not ours, but it’s hard not to feel guilty about all the problems I caused and what my mother had to sacrifice.” Justin looked down at his plate and sighed before he glanced up at Sarah.
She patted his hand and grasped it gently, “Justin, I don’t think your mother thought of what she gave up as a sacrifice at all. Her child’s best interest came first. In fact, if truth be told she probably would have given up a lot more. Learning the type of man your father was probably the best thing that could have ever happened to her. Once she thought about it, I’ll bet she felt like she had been living a lie all those years.”
“You’re right, Sarah. My mom did say that. I wish you could meet her. I think the two of you would get along really well. Anyway, I better get going. I’ve kept you from your work long enough. Thanks for the snack.”
“You’re welcome, Mr. Justin. I’ll be seeing you and Mr. Brian around meal-time. I think if you head out to the barn you’ll find the kids there.”
Before heading to the barn, Justin ran upstairs to retrieve his camera and a couple of rolls of film. He wanted to make sure he didn’t miss any opportunities.
When he stepped out into the bright sunlight, he stopped to look around and took a few photos of the surrounding area. After he was done, he shouldered his camera and followed the sounds of children’s laughter and the screaming shouts of horseplay coming from the barn.
When he got to the barn what he saw was a photographer’s delight. He immediately lifted his camera and clicked away. He couldn’t keep the smile off his face as he watched two grown men acting more like children than the children themselves. Standing at the center of it all with straw sticking out of his auburn hair and clinging to his clothes was Brian and he was soaked to the skin from trying to defend himself against the spray of the water hose and a gaggle of kids. Charlie appeared to be doing his best to help defend his boss, but at closer look it seemed that he was instrumental in helping the kids with their attack. Brian had his arms thrown out to the side, legs spread and growling as if he was a grizzly bear that drew shouts and laughter as he pretended he was going to eat them.
The moment the grizzly noticed they were being watched, he came to a complete standstill, the smile wiped clean off his face and a flush colored his cheeks at being caught by an outsider.
The children noticed the change and a hush fell over the group as they realized they were being watched by the blond stranger with a camera hanging around his neck. You could feel the atmosphere change. Wary of strangers, the kids instinctively clustered around the men they knew would protect them with their lives.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt your fun,” Justin spoke softly after he saw eight pairs of eyes staring back at him, questioning his presence. “You looked like you were all enjoying yourselves and I wanted to capture it on film,” he paused, his eyes shifted to Brian who flushed red with embarrassment at being caught with his guard down in front of the beautiful blond.
Breaking the uncomfortable silence that seemed to encapsulate the group, Charlie cleared his throat and stepped forward. “Oh, Mr. Justin, come on in. We’re suppose to be cleaning the barn and mucking the stalls and we just got a bit carried away,” the old man chuckled. “Weren’t we kids.” He turned and winked at the group. He observed the slight flush on Brian’s face as if he was caught with his hand in the cookie jar by the cute blond and he smiled inwardly to himself. He could feel a slight charge of electricity pass between the two men. He also noticed that his boss seemed a bit tongued tied and spoke up, “Hey kids, this here is Mr. Justin. Remember me telling you someone from a magazine was going to be coming here to the Winged C to shoot some pictures for a story?” Six heads bobbed up and down. “Well, he’s going to be here for a while so help him out by showing him around. Come on, don’t be shy, introduce yourselves.”
A boy who looked to be about ten years old and the oldest of the bunch proclaimed himself spokesperson for the group, stepped forward and shyly extended his hand, “Hi, I’m Zack. This here is Ty, Carly, Lilly, Josie and…” he paused looking around the group. “Oh and that one peeking out from behind Mr. Brian’s leg is Nicky; he’s the youngest and kind of shy.”
Justin noticed the little boy, clinging to Brian’s leg and the protective hand of the older man wrapped around his shoulder. He wished he could have taken a picture. Shaking the thought from his mind, he leaned over and extended his hand. “Nice to meet you, Zack. My name is Justin.” He took the small hand and smiled warmly at the young boy. “You’ll have to help me remember everyone’s name. I’m older and sometimes my memory isn’t what it should be.” Justin looked around at the group and let go of a brilliant smile that made him appear even more beautiful than before.
Brian’s breath caught in his throat as he witnessed the younger man’s smile. It seemed to bring sunlight into the barn, and he was slightly taken aback by his reaction and shifted uncomfortably.
Charlie heard the quiet gasp that came from his boss and he turned slightly to look at the man who had become like a son to him. The old man smiled to himself. Maybe this young man will bring a sparkle to his eyes, he thought. He noticed the look that passed between Zack and Brian and he patted the young boy on the shoulder for encouragement.
“Okay, Mr. Justin. Don’t worry I have a good memory and I can remember lots of things for you,” Zack smiled proudly, pleased that he was asked to help the newcomer.
“Um, Brian can I have a word with you before I get started?” Justin asked.
“Sure. Why don’t we step outside.” He turned to look at the curious eyes watching him and the sly grin coming from Charlie and he blushed at the older man’s knowing smirk.
When Justin preceded him out of the barn, Brian took a few minutes to remove the hay that was sticking to his hair and tuck in his shirt before following the blond. He couldn’t help but smile as he looked down and admired the view of the blond’s backside.
Justin stopped and turned around, and Brian nearly collided with him. He had been enjoying the view and he hadn’t realized the man in front had stopped.
“Oh, sorry,” Brian said as he stuck his hand out to prevent himself from tripping.
Justin grasped the man’s wrists to steady him, their eyes locked, and a warm glow spread throughout their bodies as they made contact with one another. “That’s okay. Are you alright?” he asked as he noticed the telltale sign of a blush creeping up on the man’s neck.
“Yes, I’m fine. I should pay more attention to where I’m going,” Brian replied as he felt the heat rise and he shifted uncomfortably under the knowing gaze of the man holding his wrists. Clearing his throat Brian said, “Um…you can let go of me now.”
Justin laughed, it was his turn now to feel the intense heat of the other man’s gaze.
“What is it that you needed to speak to me about, Justin?”
“Oh, um…I just wanted to clear things with you before I started my assignment. I don’t want to get in anyone’s way.”
“You can photograph anything you want as long as I have the right to approve any photos that are used for the story. I prefer not have the children’s face directly photographed if possible and if you can agree with that you’ll have no problems with me,” Brian stated firmly. “I want the children’s privacy protected as much as possible; for now anyway.”
It wasn’t something Justin wanted. Children’s faces were so expressive that one picture could tell a whole story, but for now he had no choice to agree. Maybe after Brian had a chance to see his work he would change his mind. For now he would tread lightly. He felt as if this was an issue that the man would not relent on. He would just have to make sure he took a lot of pictures so that he would have enough to choose from when the time came.
“I understand,” Justin agreed. “Okay then, I’ll just wander around and get started.”
“Fine. If you need anything just ask Charlie or one of the staff. They’ve all been made aware of why you’re here and have been asked to help you anyway they can.”
“Thanks,” the blond replied. He turned and headed toward the corral where he heard the laughter of children.
Brian stood and watched the blond head towards the corral and once again he was able to catch a glimpse of a very sweet view. Running his fingers through his hair, he closed his eyes and shook his head to clear the thoughts of the blond that he found were suddenly running through his mind. He decided to head toward the house to do some work in his office.
Before heading to the office Brian changed his mind and decided that a shower and a change of clothes was in order. After playing with the kids and working in the barn, he felt he needed it.
After he showered and dressed, he went to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. He needed fortification to tackle the books and paperwork he had been neglecting for several days.
“Hey Sarah, do you have a fresh pot of coffee brewing?”
“You know I always do Mr. Brian. Why don’t you pull up a stool and I’ll pour you a cup,” she smiled warmly. She pulled a cup off the shelf and poured the steaming hot brew all the while observing the man she had grown to love like her own son. She noticed that he seemed to look a little lost or was it confused? It was a look she hadn’t seen in a while and she wondered what brought it on so suddenly.
She remembered when she first started working for Brian how sad and lost he seemed to be and it tore at her soul to see such a beautiful person with no sparkle in his eyes. It was as if a dark cloud hovered over him. As time went on she and Charlie had learned of Brian’s past and all that he had endured and their hearts went out to him. They never showed him pity because they knew that was something he wouldn’t tolerate nor appreciate. Instead, what they tried to give him was an open heart and a shoulder to lean on when he needed one and a ready an ear when he wanted to talk. Which in Brian’s case wasn’t too often, but when he did, they made sure they were always available for him.
At first Brian had been very hesitant to reveal himself to the older couple. He wasn’t sure how they would react to his being gay let alone having been in a loving relationship with Christian. After all he was living in he man country where little boys cut their teeth on pieces of leather and learned to ride a horse even before they could walk, but in time he had learned to trust and love them.